"one in five children will not leave childhood without developing a serious mental illness anxiety depression ADHD behavioral problems and what pisses me off it's that we're not really educating or tel..."

"some way but it's an important idea what is the mission that you're on I like to think of it as three PS presence prioritization and prevention and I'll go through each of them um my mission is to edu..."

"of you they might be thinking how would you know Erica how would you know the answer so I'm a psychoanalyst um I'm also a social worker I started out as a social worker and then became a psychoanalyst..."

"guidance practice because of the books that I write um and the articles I write I also write for the Wall Street Journal and other newspapers so I you know people find me through my writing um and the..."

"to teach them our values and but Society um took a turn it took a turn in the you could say going back to the Industrial Revolution if I really want to go back I'll say the Industrial Revolution was a..."

"more important in your view than the role that a father plays or maybe even that a nanny or some other caregiver could play and I noticed that on your first book which was written in 2017 being there ..."

"effect on their brain so for mothers oxytocin makes mothers sensitive empathic nurturers very Vigilant to the baby's distress when fathers produce oxytocin it comes from a different part of their brai..."

"Truth um this is An Inconvenient Truth it inconveniences people it also makes people feel guilty so I don't believe that guilt is a bad feeling I don't believe that guilt is a Bad Thing guilt is a sig..."

"healthy children it's going to require discomfort and frustration and sacrifice and what's interesting is that what's also happened is because we're raising our children in such a selfish self-centere..."

"least enough money to be able to just stay at home and raise the kids and still maintain any standard of quality standard of life is lower if you're not doing it with a big extended family that can su..."

"they have passions what if they have a career the problem is children do best in extended family situations so you know you can have a fabulous career and move far away from your family and when you'r..."

"one would say then well I just won't have children then and that would be fine and so there are a lot of people that are saying today I don't see the value in being responsible for another human being..."

"avoidant attachment Disorder so what does that mean so a healthy attachment looks like this um when you return home your child feels so securely attached to you meaning you've gone out for an hour or ..."

"does that manifest when you're an adult so how would I know because you know I can relate to some of these and I'm wondering how that would then manifest in my relationships with my life as an adult o..."

"attracting a certain attachment style so if I'm an avoidant do I then end up attracting avoidance or do I is there any research on that on how we then date I'm guessing secures go for secures yeah sec..."

"attachment Styles who do you think which attachment style from in your opinion and from your observations and the people that you've seen is most likely to have a successful and then also unsuccessful..."

"wondering as you were speaking whether if I have more kids so if I have 10 young kids yeah is there a higher probability that of neglect in those kids because I just if if I'm a mother I just don't ha..."

"choosing not to make the decision to have kids I was looking at some stats around this the European Union witnessed only 3.8 million births in 2022 nearly half the number recorded six decades ago mark..."

"would say I have deep and loving relationships with my partner with my dog with my Uncle Auntie friends Etc it's different and why is it different it's a good question it's different because um in the..."

"now have kids even those that want to yeah um looking at some stats and there's a global prevalence of infertility approximately 18% of adults worldwide about one in six experience infertility at some..."

"three you've raised three very wonderful well adjusted children but you're also successful yeah you have books you you're you're traveling around the world you said so I'm a good example um I had a ca..."

"could it have worked if your husband stayed home instead of you in your view because I'm trying to understand if you're saying that dads don't need to be as their present as much as the mother they ha..."

"well that was an attachment study yeah what was it what's what's touch called from in a in the Science World skin to skin skin to skin can you give me an overview of that study and what it showed for ..."

"story going back to your story which we were talking about are there any areas of privilege that you need to acknowledge that someone else listening to this now goes yeah but that's all right for you ..."

"leave equals better children less strain on the Healthcare System in terms of mental health mortality whatever it might be how do you make a statistical or a science or research backed case that if we..."

"guests that I speak to on this pod C especially those that become incredibly successful um athletes entrepreneurs whoever they often have some form of neglect in their past Richard Williams Serena and..."

"huge Focus for me in 2025 and I'm not just talking about eating right and exercising I'm talking about my recovery too I'm halfway through 60 workouts in 60 days and to help my body recover I've been ..."

"diary ADHD yeah okay a I don't feel like I don't even have to ask a question here but just to set the stage the reason why I'm so compelled by this is just this I have to say it the shocking rise in d..."

"depression so what we have now are not disorders so there was a whole movement to take the d off of ADH D because it's not a disorder it is a stress response and instead of asking the right questions ..."

"develops goes into fight ORF flight when they are under stress it could be psychosocial stressors at home in the family it could be at school it could be with their friends it could be a learning disa..."

"of the type of stresses the everyday stresses that we're now exposing children to that are leading to ADHD in your opinion well again let's start at home at home the stresses might be that they were h..."

"evidence around there being a link to a hereditary component in twin studies they found that ADHD is about 74 to 80% heritable making one of the most genetically influenced psychiatric conditions let ..."

"the blood flow to the brain we can see the electrical activity in the brain it's it's amazing actually but some people say that this proves that it's the way your brain is and lots of my friends that ..."

"old as having ADHD yeah you're offered medication you take the medication the medication makes you much more functional in your career in your relationships in your life it's a stimulant and so what s..."

"losses anxiety is preoccupation with future losses that may never occur what do they have in common it's all about losses all about loss and you could say the generations now are very preoccupied with..."

"of questions with an a score of four or more so four experiences of trauma or more have nearly four times which is 400% more chance of having parent reported ADHD compared to children with no Aces yea..."

"start screaming in a supermarket m one of the prevailing pieces of advice says just walk off or start screaming yourself as the parent to show them do am I supposed to just ignore my child when it's s..."

"that I'm a traumatized child I don't know I haven't heard about your traumatized background if so if you have a trauma I would say we're all so let me say this there's this word trauma is used a lot c..."

"what's wrong with daycare daycare raises salivary cortisol levels in children the studies show be meaning those babies are put into stressful States uh at a very young age when their brains are develo..."

"home that he learns how to be a mother you know sometimes gay couples will come to me and I'll say um you know two gay men will come I'll say which one of you is going to be the mother now that may se..."

"which I was just reading is as you're explaining that because it seems to be quite relevant and it shows that in 1960 one in 10 mothers were the sole primary bread winner yeah now it's almost at half ..."

"now that are very career- driven and you may be causing some existential crisis you may be affirming a lot of what they believe and think and what they feel intuitively um are you are you saying then ..."

"I'm representing the opinion of some people who might be listening I obviously there's so who are the people who can't architect their own lives you want to be a who do you think I would say hedge fun..."

"kid's going to be raised alone at that early age so versus going to daycare will they'll be around other kids no no children don't need other kids until the age of three they do something called paral..."

"gut is the home of our digestion and it's also a gateway to Better Health but it can be hard to know what's going on in there Zoe who sponsors this podcast has one of the largest microbiome databases ..."

"mentioning but 3 years old yes why three years old and there's kind of like two SE segments to this question that I was Keen to understand is there an element of neuroplasticity that makes the age of ..."

"years old for example and I had a traumatic upbringing can I repair myself from the childhood trauma that I experienced between the ages of zero and 10 the way that I would put it is it takes a relati..."

"symptoms like maybe they can't form relationships very well um maybe they've got other forms of emotional eratic behavior and there must be occasions where you have a suspicion yeah that it's linked t..."

"issues real because the term is thrown around in culture like oh she has daddy issues it's typically she has daddy issues isn't it right so there's something called edible development which is sexual ..."

"and men I was looking at some stats earlier on that said there's been increased sexual inactivity amongst young men which is an interesting stat it's risen to almost 31% of men between the ages of 18 ..."

"this is why I've read so many stats around men's testosterone dropping when they become fathers um some yeah I I couldn't believe that was true when I read it it's true there was some studies to talk ..."

"support the idea that if you're at home raising your kids as a man you have you struggle in the bedroom so there was some research I know that was going on about that how it affects sex drive but when..."

"you change I make you prime minister of the world president of the world and you can fix this issue oh I would have little boys educated separately than little girls in the early years in the early ye..."

"there was a longitudinal study done in the Philippines that followed 624 men over almost 5 years and found that those who became fathers experienced a significant decline in testosterone levels specif..."

"last question is about devices and Technology yeah there's been a lot of books written recently and a lot of conversation around the impact that screen social media mobile phones have on children what..."

"what is the most important thing we should have talked about today that we didn't talk about so far H I think we talked about a lot but um I think you know what I would say is that um presence is just..."

"do as an employer I employ lots of people and I'm thinking do I need to give people three years off when they have a kid is that the well in my opinion give them as much time off as you possibly can m..."

"possible you realize that some of the things you say are controversal or not almost all of them yeah why' you say them anyway because somebody has to because they're the inconvenient truths that are s..."

"things why is it so personal to you I can see it in your face well then you'd have to ask me about my own personal story my personal story just to wrap it up quickly is that my own mother was a very l..."

"me Erica we have a closing tradition on this podcast where the last guest leaves a question for the next guest not knowing who they are leaving it for and the question that has been left for you okay ..."