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Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction!
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Richard Osman is a television host, former creative director of a world-leading production company, and the author behind the biggest literary sensation since Harry Potter, the Thursday Murder Club series Topics: 0:00 Intro 01:47 Early years 10:48 Knowing the impact not to see your dad would you act differently now? 19:04 Being shaped more by your mum 21:03 Watching the TV when you were younger 24:11 Your disability 25:58 Being too tall 34:46 The 'Storm' in your 20s - your addiction 45:16 Unlocking ideas from your therapist 52:35 Why were you successful? 57:42 What is creativity to you? 01:05:02 How intentional is success 01:07:06 Groups making creatives ideas vs individuals 01:08:53 You wrote this book without showing anyone 01:10:54 Tell me about your doubts 01:13:54 What clouds did you connect to create this book 01:18:49 How has it affected your happiness? 01:20:33 What is happiness to you? 01:24:22 Family 01:26:40 Monogamy 01:31:24 What is this book doing for people? 01:32:55 The last guest question Richard: Twitter - https://bit.ly/3eG2bcD Instagram - https://bit.ly/3TBB5C0 Richards book: https://amzn.to/3EUM4lR Wait list for The Diary - Add your name here: https://bit.ly/3fUcF8q Join this channel to get access to perks: https://bit.ly/3Dpmgx5 Listen on: Apple podcast - https://apple.co/3TTvxDf Spotify - https://spoti.fi/3VX3yEw Follow: Instagram: https://bit.ly/3CXkF0d Twitter: https://bit.ly/3ss7pM0 Linkedin: https://bit.ly/3z3CSYM Telegram: https://g2ul0.app.link/SBExclusiveCommunity Sponsors: Huel - https://g2ul0.app.link/G4RjcdKNKsb Mercedes-Benz - https://bit.ly/3yXTQI1 Amex - https://bit.ly/3TATNKc
Segments Timeline
The Impact of Trauma on Creativity
Richard Osman reflects on how his experiences with trauma have shaped his writing and creativity. He discusses the importance of being guided through trauma rather than facing it alone, emphasizing that unresolved trauma can lead to addictive behaviors. Osman shares his personal journey and how it has influenced his work as a bestselling novelist.
"my books wouldn't be as good if I if I hadn't gone through that trauma welcome Richard Osman ladies and gentlemen bestselling novelist television producer presented you know if you have a trauma of an..."
Growing Up in a Working-Class Family
Osman shares insights about his early years, growing up in a large working-class family and his love for popular culture. He discusses the contrast between his upbringing and his current life in a middle-class world, highlighting how his visual impairment shaped his perspective and career in television and writing.
"I'd been more myself in those years and I would have taken much less success and much more happiness what what is happiness gosh that's a good question well his his here's the way I always think about..."
The Two Chapters of Childhood
Richard Osman describes his childhood as having two distinct chapters: a happy early life followed by a more dysfunctional period after his father's departure. He reflects on the emotional impact of this transition and how it forced him to create a facade to cope with his feelings, which later influenced his career.
"people um from different places in Britain like to watch or like to read uh so that really and you know I grew up i' U visually very visually impaired so I don't see the world particularly brilliantly..."
Manufacturing Identity in Adolescence
Osman discusses the concept of 'manufacturing' oneself during teenage years, particularly in response to trauma. He explains how building a personality on a lie can lead to future challenges, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and the dangers of deviating from one's true self.
"absolutely come to terms with it come to peace with it um and you know I always say trauma is not the problem it's in inability to deal with trauma is the problem you know if you have a trauma of any ..."
The Journey Back to True North
Richard Osman elaborates on the idea of 'True North' as a guiding principle in life. He explains how straying from this path can lead to feelings of alienation and the need for individuals to reconnect with their true selves, often through confronting past traumas and seeking help.
"we all build our personalities and if you build them on truth if you build them on firm foundations if you build them on good faith then you know you have a chance if you build them on fault lines the..."
The Role of Trauma in Success
Osman reflects on how his traumatic experiences have contributed to his success as a writer and television personality. He discusses the relationship between happiness and success, suggesting that true contentment comes from being authentic rather than solely achieving external markers of success.
"be if you were to um have stayed on your true north M throughout that whole period what would you have done instead oh well it's a very good question uh I sort of think that I would have done roughly ..."
Hindsight on Fatherhood and Trauma
Richard Osman shares his thoughts on the impact of his father's absence during his childhood. He discusses the complexities of understanding his father's actions and how societal norms around mental health have changed since his upbringing, leading to a greater awareness of emotional well-being.
"question because I remember Mo gadat sitting here and talking to me about the Eraser test they did on people where they asked people if you could remove the most traumatic events of your life would yo..."
Finding Peace with the Past
Osman discusses how he has come to terms with his father's departure and the resentment he once felt. He reflects on the importance of understanding the human experience and the challenges his father faced, ultimately leading to a sense of empathy and closure.
"there's lots of talk about mental health now and isn't it you know uh but no one talked about that stuff back then I mean they really really didn't talk about that stuff back then you know it just did..."
The Power of Empathy
In this segment, Osman explores the concept of empathy, emphasizing its role in understanding not just friends but also adversaries. He discusses how true empathy involves recognizing differing perspectives and experiences, which is often lacking in today's discourse.
"it empathy was your yeah I think so and and and it's um an empathy for one's enemies I don't wish to call them an enemy but you know what I mean for someone who's who's an antagonist in your life rath..."
The Long Journey to Forgiveness
Richard shares his personal journey of forgiveness regarding his father, detailing the emotional complexities involved. He reflects on the challenges of reconciling feelings of abandonment with the understanding of his father's struggles, highlighting the importance of personal responsibility in healing.
"mean look in in my situation I hadn't seen him for 20 years and then I did see him um maybe a bit less maybe 18 years and so yeah I'd had a long time to Build That Wall around me I had a long I you kn..."
Reflections on Loss
Osman discusses his emotional response to his father's funeral, revealing a lack of expected grief. He reflects on the relationship he missed and the sadness of unfulfilled potential, providing insight into how unresolved feelings can shape our reactions to loss.
"not his and in that interview I think with the Sunday Times you said you you went to his funeral and you found yourself very you found yourself upset but not at what one would think yeah I thought I w..."
The Influence of My Mother
In this segment, Richard Osman highlights the significant impact his mother had on his life. He describes her nurturing nature and wisdom, emphasizing how her supportive parenting shaped his character and values, contrasting it with his father's absence.
"you seem to be more significantly more shaped by Brenda ah my mom yeah no I'm definitely I'm definitely shaped by her I didn't have any other option than to be shaped by her cuz it was just me her and..."
The Role of Television in My Life
Osman shares how television played a crucial role in his upbringing, providing him with knowledge and insight into the world. He discusses how his visual impairment shaped his relationship with TV, allowing him to engage with stories and cultures he couldn't experience in real life.
"of is the opposite of of of a tiger mother you know these mothers that make sure you're doing you know piano practice and French lessons and you know learning Mandarin and all this kind of stuff she j..."
The Cultural Significance of TV
Richard reflects on the cultural importance of television, arguing that it is often underestimated. He discusses how TV serves as a powerful medium for storytelling and education, shaping societal views and providing a window into diverse experiences.
"lessons would take you know again with someone who's very visually impaired I can sit up very close to the Telly so you know so many of my lessons are from from TV not not from The Real World cuz the ..."
Navigating My Visual Impairment
In this segment, Osman discusses his lifelong struggle with a visual impairment and how it has influenced his career in television. He shares anecdotes about adapting to challenges and turning perceived disadvantages into unique advantages in his work.
"of people you know and um I've I've so much of what I know about the world and what people like and politics and that comes from TV and what what people watch nigus is that how you pronounce itus nagu..."
The Challenges of Being Tall
Richard Osman candidly talks about the challenges of being 6'7
"know I present television shows differently in a way that's hopefully a bit Freer and feels a bit more natural the other thing you talk about and I've seen this in a few interviews is your height bein..."
The Perception of Height
Osman discusses how his height has shaped others' perceptions of him and the microaggressions he has faced throughout his life. He reflects on the societal expectations and stereotypes associated with being tall, providing a unique perspective on body image and identity.
"just Non-Stop and so I know that to be a person of color to be differently gendered to be all of these things I know that the microaggressions I get you're getting non-stop every day of your life and ..."
The Impact of Body Shaming
Osman discusses the subtle yet pervasive nature of body shaming, particularly in relation to his height. He reflects on how societal comments about his stature have affected his self-esteem and how the younger generation's awareness of body shaming is changing the conversation around it.
"different right just talk to them normally you don't need to it's we never had the word but sometimes I'll sort tweet something about oh I love this film or I love I went to see this gig or blah blah ..."
Navigating Awkwardness and Self-Perception
Richard Osman shares his journey of self-acceptance and the awkwardness he felt growing up tall. He recounts how his height and introverted nature led to feelings of isolation and how humor became a coping mechanism to navigate social situations.
"uh and again 90% of people they mean nothing by it and I get it but it's just boring and 10% of people it's you just think oh you're you're very unpleasant I am I never I'm so glad to hear that becaus..."
The Storm in Your 20s
Osman reflects on the tumultuous period of his 20s, where he experienced professional success but struggled with personal challenges, including a food addiction. He discusses how these experiences shaped his understanding of himself and his journey towards healing.
"cuz I was sort of hiding away from things some things I have to hide away from because with my eyesight I just can't it's not safe for me to do various things and something's just my height and sort o..."
Food Addiction and Its Realities
In this segment, Richard Osman opens up about his struggles with food addiction, describing the behaviors associated with it and how they stemmed from deeper emotional issues. He emphasizes the importance of addressing the root causes of addiction rather than just the symptoms.
"and through getting to know their brand on a much deeper level I came to learn about our shared values on Innovation striving to create a better tomorrow some of you may know if you follow me on Insta..."
The Path to Therapy
Osman discusses his first experience with therapy as a means to address his food addiction. He shares how therapy helped him understand his behaviors and begin the journey towards recovery, highlighting the stigma around discussing food addiction in society.
"complete and that is something that I fight for every single day in the chaos and the busyness of my life and that's why it's s such a wonderful thing to be able to talk to this audience about a brand..."
The Taboo of Food Addiction
Richard Osman opens up about his struggles with food addiction, highlighting how it is often overlooked compared to other addictions like alcoholism and drug abuse. He shares personal anecdotes that resonate with many, emphasizing the shame and secrecy surrounding food addiction and the need for open conversations about it.
"behavior just o overeating and you know binge eating and all that kind just inability to control food in any way whatsoever or if I was controlling it just being incredibly strict so either sort of di..."
Eating Like It's Christmas Every Day
Osman describes his experience of binge eating, likening it to the indulgence of Christmas Day, which he experienced daily during his 20s and 30s. He explains that his eating was not driven by hunger but rather by a need to escape his thoughts, illustrating the compulsive nature of his addiction.
"what I've got these wonderful kids I've got this great career and yet I'm still secretly eating and feeling deeply ashamed of myself you know what what's that right and after a while you think oh mayb..."
Understanding the Nature of Addiction
In this segment, Osman draws parallels between food addiction and substance abuse, asserting that both are driven by deeper emotional issues. He emphasizes the importance of recognizing food addiction as a legitimate problem and discusses the challenges of overcoming it due to the necessity of eating.
"with a you know talking to the therapist about it and and it was it was sort of mid December so I wasn't going to see him for a few weeks and he said look I hope that you know hope Christmas day is no..."
The Moment of Realization
Osman reflects on his journey to understanding his food addiction, sharing how he finally acknowledged the issue after years of secretive behavior. He discusses the shame he felt and the realization that he needed to confront his addiction, marking a pivotal moment in his path to recovery.
"thing uh and the second you shine a light on it listen some people listening will will won't believe it exists that's by the way absolutely fine you know it's listen we believe what we believe but I'm..."
The Role of Therapy in Recovery
Osman recounts his first experience with therapy, describing how it helped him confront his addiction. He shares insights from his therapist, emphasizing the importance of addressing shame and anxiety, and how therapy provided him with the tools to navigate his struggles.
"and a bunch of other very uh destructive eating patterns how did you figure out that that it was different well I think you you can't you know you can you can fool everybody except yourself you know f..."
The Complexity of Shame and Anxiety
In this segment, Osman discusses the intertwined nature of shame and anxiety, explaining how they can exacerbate each other. He shares strategies for managing these feelings, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion and understanding in the healing process.
"about it but is we often understand how normal our behavior is by comparison yeah did were people saying things to you like like making little jokes and comments and stuff like that no not really I me..."
Building a Supportive Inner Dialogue
Osman highlights the significance of nurturing a positive inner dialogue to combat feelings of shame and self-criticism. He encourages listeners to recognize and validate both sides of their internal conversations, fostering a healthier relationship with themselves.
"wasn't built to live the life that other people were living and again of course these days you realize everyone is everyone's not built everyone goes home and does something weird not everyone but you..."
Accepting the Lifelong Journey of Recovery
Osman reflects on the ongoing nature of recovery from addiction, acknowledging that it is a lifelong journey. He emphasizes the importance of accepting that struggles may resurface and encourages listeners to approach these challenges with understanding and patience.
"for everything that he's done and the wisdom he shown me uh and one of the things I try and do in the books and in everywhere is is is try and pass that on because I was lucky enough to be able to aff..."
The Power of Sharing Your Story
In this closing segment, Osman discusses the transformative power of sharing one's struggles with addiction. He expresses his hope that by speaking openly about his experiences, he can help others feel less alone and encourage more men to discuss food addiction and mental health.
"what it is if you're going to let panic or anxiety or however you experience what it is however you experience the thing where you just realize that this ain't right you know this is not who I want to..."
The Power of Opening Up
Richard Osman discusses the importance of sharing personal struggles, particularly regarding food and addiction. He emphasizes that talking to loved ones can be transformative, revealing that many people already understand your struggles. By speaking publicly about these issues, he aims to provide a male role model for others facing similar challenges.
"you have to you have to put in a slightly more different set of rules but you know you just have to give yourself boundaries and know that you mustn't cross those um those boundaries but yeah I think ..."
Living with Trauma
Osman reflects on the enduring nature of trauma and personal beliefs formed in childhood. He likens managing these feelings to living with an unwanted piece of furniture, suggesting that acceptance of their presence can be freeing. He encourages a calm approach when these feelings resurface, emphasizing that they don't define one's entire life.
"people one of the things I've learned from sitting here with with people from all walks of life that have been through a variety of different traumas is um I used to think that we could cure this stuf..."
The Chaos of Addiction
In this segment, Osman explains how the addictive part of one's personality thrives on chaos and panic. He shares strategies for managing these feelings, advocating for a balanced approach to life while acknowledging that the addictive tendencies may resurface. He stresses the importance of not letting these feelings dictate one's actions.
"right it's like a sofa you don't like in your living room right it's not going anywhere okay you just have to learn to live with it you know sometimes you can look around you don't even notice the sof..."
Success in Television
Richard Osman reflects on his successful career in television, discussing the blend of creativity and salesmanship that has driven his achievements. He shares insights into his passion for entertainment and how his understanding of audience preferences has shaped his work, emphasizing the importance of authenticity in creating content.
"sort of let you burn out 20 years in the in the TV business roughly it 20 yeah so well 30 really if if I still count as being on TV business now which I sometimes I forget I am that's a long time to b..."
Creating What You Love
Osman elaborates on his creative process, explaining that he has always focused on producing content he personally enjoys. He discusses the challenges of pitching ideas that lack genuine passion and the importance of connecting with the audience's heart to ensure success in television programming.
"well it's a good question I mean I love and one I feel more comfortable talking about now I've sort of I've sort of stepped off that that Carousel now I think that I loved television you know and I lo..."
The Art of Selling Ideas
In this segment, Osman shares his love for pitching ideas and understanding audience desires. He emphasizes the significance of crafting compelling narratives that resonate with viewers, highlighting the balance between creativity and the business side of television production.
"it's like being a car salesman you know you don't need to sell that many cars to be successful you know and the TV is the same way you just got to make sure that you've got the best car out there uh a..."
The Importance of Passion in TV
Osman discusses the necessity of genuine passion in creating successful television shows. He reflects on experiences where he pitched ideas he didn't care about, noting that such projects often fail. He stresses that true success comes from creating content that resonates with both the creator and the audience.
"there's two thoughts there which in my head almost sit in Conflict one of them is I I make things that I would love to watch and then figuring out what other people want well I that's the thing is I'v..."
The Creative Process
Richard Osman describes his unique approach to creativity, likening it to clouds of ideas that intersect to form new concepts. He encourages listeners to remain open to inspiration from various sources and to actively seek out new experiences that can spark creativity.
"and TV business is all about second series and third series you make no money from from from the first series so we I've definitely been in rooms where I pitched stuff that I didn't care about uh but ..."
Connecting Ideas
In this segment, Osman emphasizes the importance of connecting different ideas and experiences to foster creativity. He discusses how everyday interactions and observations can lead to innovative thoughts, encouraging a mindset of curiosity and exploration.
"be I would sit at home and do that if I wasn't in that office I would be thinking this is the thing I would love to see on TV and I was just lucky enough to be in an environment where uh I could have ..."
The Role of Hard Work in Creativity
Osman highlights the necessity of hard work in the creative process, explaining that great ideas often stem from hours of effort and brainstorming. He stresses that while inspiration can strike unexpectedly, it is the dedication to the craft that ultimately leads to success.
"Baner of Paris uh and at about 11 years old gets plucked out of the school system and taken to this like a call for mathematicians he's because he's a genius and since has made a fortune in the city r..."
Finding Your Artistic Voice
Richard Osman reflects on the universal nature of creativity and self-expression. He discusses how everyone has their own form of art and the importance of finding ways to express oneself, even outside of a monetized context. He encourages listeners to explore their creativity and connect their experiences to foster personal growth.
"to say keep your eyes open and your ears open all the time and be listening to the world just see how the world is spinning see how it's working and sometimes that is if you're in TV it's seeing how a..."
Intentionality vs. Serendipity in Success
In this segment, Osman explores the balance between intentionality and luck in achieving success. He reflects on his experiences in television and writing, noting that while some projects seem destined for success, others can surprise you, highlighting the unpredictable nature of creative endeavors.
"Industries where you can't be creative because if you're a Lor driver you really really know your business right and you know uh what causes delays you know when your work is harder you know the 5 min..."
The Hard Work Behind Creativity
Richard Osman shares insights into the effort required to create successful works, particularly in writing. He discusses the importance of putting in hard work and the desire for a rewarding outcome, while also acknowledging the inherent challenges and compromises that come with the creative process.
"can it's hard if you if you're if the area you're interested in is not your job because that's something you have to do in your own time but if it's something you're serious about and you're curious a..."
The Journey of Writing a Book
Osman recounts his experience of writing his book without revealing it to anyone initially. He emphasizes the importance of believing in the quality of one's work and shares how external validation from an agent and international sales helped boost his confidence in his writing.
"that if I put a lot of work into something and a book is that's the hardest I've ever worked on anything if I put a lot of work on something I want the upside if it works to be you know I want there t..."
Navigating Doubt in Creative Work
In this segment, Osman candidly discusses the doubts that accompany the creative process. He reflects on the internal struggle writers face, often questioning the value of their work, and how external feedback can provide reassurance and motivation to continue.
"Inspirations and I remember thinking that [ __ ] that's so true yeah that's interesting isn't it JK Rowling yourself you know yeah Spielberg bought your book he has bought the book yeah well he bought..."
The Impact of Audience Connection
Richard Osman emphasizes the significance of creating relatable characters in storytelling. He explains that if readers connect with characters, they will engage with the narrative, making the writing process about crafting a journey that resonates with the audience.
"and when you wrote this book you didn't you wrote it all before you had showed anybody from what I understand yeah the first book yeah the first one well because only because I'm on telly and you know..."
The Clouds of Inspiration
Osman shares the various inspirations that led to the creation of his book, including a love for crime fiction and personal experiences. He describes how different ideas converged to form the basis of his story, illustrating the organic nature of creativity.
"it's and it's been top 10 in Germany for like two years it's it's like nonstop out there uh and they don't know who I am I'll go out there and do press and they're like they have no idea who they just..."
The Process of Connecting Ideas
In this segment, Osman elaborates on the metaphor of 'clouds' coming together to form a cohesive idea. He explains how inspiration can strike unexpectedly and how the right connections can lead to the development of a compelling narrative.
"know the story and it's so you would not believe how gleaming it is and how intricate and beautiful and like perfectly crafted and toned it is uh and I know that the thing I handed in will I hand will..."
The Birth of the Thursday Murder Club
Richard Osman shares the creative process behind his bestselling book, 'The Thursday Murder Club.' He discusses how various ideas converged, including a former civil servant's plan for a bank heist and the inspiration from a retirement community. Osman illustrates how these 'clouds' of ideas came together, leading to the creation of a unique murder mystery setting that reflects his love for puzzles and crime fiction.
"number a number of clouds a love of crime fiction that's and that just sort of vibe that idea that I sort of love a puzzle and I think so just that's that kind of thing of that that's an itch that's k..."
Testing Ideas: The Plank Analogy
In this segment, Osman uses a metaphor of walking on planks of wood to describe how he tests his creative ideas. He explains the process of weighing an idea's viability and how sometimes, despite initial excitement, he decides against pursuing certain projects. This reflection highlights the emotional journey of creativity and the importance of self-awareness in the decision-making process.
"because when the clouds come together in the right way when the things connect together in the right way you sort of it's it's interesting you sort of you kind of press your foot down on it to see if ..."
Happiness and Creativity: A Reflection
Osman reflects on how his recent success with 'The Thursday Murder Club' is a reflection of his happiness rather than a source of it. He discusses the importance of self-acceptance and how his characters embody different aspects of his personality. This segment delves into the connection between personal well-being and creative expression, emphasizing that true creativity stems from a place of comfort and joy.
"idea like a novel I knew two years before I wanted to write it but I just didn't I knew I didn't have the I knew what it would take and with this social media idea I know at the moment it would be all..."
Defining Happiness
In this introspective segment, Osman explores the complex nature of happiness. He emphasizes that happiness is not a constant state but rather a feeling of contentment and security. Osman shares his journey of regaining a sense of happiness and how it relates to his relationships and personal growth, highlighting the importance of self-acceptance and finding one's place in the world.
"of it uh obviously it brings me an enormous amount of joy and it's a load of fun and it's fun that hit in other count so you get to go abroad and you know talk to them about it and you know uh that's ..."
Breaking the Cycle: Parenting Reflections
Osman discusses his experiences as a father and the challenges of breaking the cycle of dysfunction from his own upbringing. He reflects on the importance of building a loving relationship with his children and acknowledges the difficulties of trying to rectify past mistakes. This segment offers insights into the complexities of parenting and the responsibility of creating a better future for the next generation.
"are there any questions still for oh goodness yeah of course there are I mean my one you know I I want to I've always as I say because I don't see so well because I'm tall I've always been a Observer ..."
Monogamy and Relationships: A Personal Take
In this candid discussion, Osman shares his thoughts on monogamy and the complexities of long-term relationships. He emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for one's choices and the impact of those choices on others. This segment explores the nuances of commitment and the societal expectations surrounding relationships, encouraging a thoughtful approach to love and partnership.
"life makes no sense uh and so the key is to stop trying to find the answer to to to what is life because that's not something you're ever going to find H and and and I think the question is is is how ..."
The First Date Revelation
Richard Osman reflects on the significance of first dates, suggesting that they reveal a person's true self and intentions. He advises listeners to pay attention to what is communicated during that initial meeting, as it sets the tone for the relationship. Osman highlights the importance of honesty and self-awareness in building lasting connections.
"the Natural Way listen I've been Googling chimpanzees listen it's cool uh you know that's all fine but it's you right it's your responsibility and if you're not ready to do it okay you got to stop was..."
Finding Joy in Work
Osman shares a personal story about his son's job experiences, emphasizing the importance of finding fulfillment in work. He encourages listeners to prioritize their happiness and well-being over societal expectations. This segment underscores the idea that it's okay to leave a job that doesn't serve you and to seek out environments where you feel valued.
"failure in relationships over and over again and me me being earlier in in that and going why why are 50% of these things breaking i' gone to the shop and bought a TV and the guy said oh by the way th..."
The Creative Journey
In this concluding segment, Richard Osman discusses the creative process behind his writing. He reflects on the challenges and joys of creating a book that resonates with readers. Osman emphasizes the importance of authenticity in creativity and the impact of word-of-mouth in achieving success. He inspires others to trust their creative instincts and pursue their passions.
"the very fundamental level do do you hope that this particular book the third the third installment is doing for the reader at a very fundamental yeah level well you know my job is always entertainmen..."