"visualization is a really useful technique and you see yourself not just in the moment of speaking but getting up to the stage seeing it being welled thinking about how you step off the stage we see a..."

"put into practice and I share that in our conversation if you pick just a couple things from this episode to put into practice you will become a better Communicator you'll be less nervous and you'll g..."

"to learn more and get 10% off that's sp.com Lenny this episode is brought to you by duvail the customer insights hub for product teams are you working in a feature Factory building filler that nobody ..."

"other ones being open so I often say strive for connection over Perfection by daring to be D just get the task done just answer the question just give the feedback just be engaged in the small talk an..."

"last point I think is really important you talk about this in your book is when you start with okay I'm just going to say something it'll be fine without that pressure you end up saying something bett..."

"awesome okay let's go to the next technique and this is another one I've practiced and another guest on the podcast actually suggested this and these two remind me of using this one which is to tell y..."

"you talk about that technique absolutely so this is a one of many cognitive reframing techniques uh it is often attributed to my friend and and colleague Allison Woods Brooks She's at Harvard Business..."

"if I say hey Lenny guess what uh your colleague couldn't show up today and you need to go teach the class or you need to go give that uh presentation you might feel your heart rate go up uh get a litt..."

"lottery same physiological response would happen but you would see that likely as more positive so how we label the arousal matters and what Allison's research and others have followed up with suggest..."

"was taken off of them so I challenge everybody to think about what are the exciting elements of the communication opportunities you have and really lean into those and when you feel those anxiety symp..."

"make an imp an impact so another one to try even though it sounds really trivial kind of along these lines there's another technique you recommend which is a mantra having a mantra you repeat to yours..."

"this person I'm an impostor we we carry around with us a lot of this chatter that actually sets us up to not do well or to be more nervous so if we can actually change that talk track it can help us s..."

"when we are in communicative situations especially at work people want to hear from us we've been invited to speak uh we're on the the agenda for the meeting there is value people can take from our co..."

"actually encourage people to write it on a Post-It note if you're old school sometimes people put it into their phones as a reminder so like a minute or two minutes before they're set to give the pres..."

"a leader he does a lot of the same presentations and just by saying last time this went well reminds him that it's likely to go well this time we are very susceptible to catastrophizing when we're ver..."

"got this reminds me my wife took a course with the um artist's way writer Julie Cameron I think is her name and she has this piece of advice where you name your critic your inner critic that's always ..."

"conversations with it and it makes it it's it's a way of um rationalizing some of the things that we do that are quite negative so um something something there for sure to to be thinking about there w..."

"into that we don't see that work uh and sometimes just knowing that others experience it makes us feel better if you allow me I'll tell this very quick story I was in the San Francisco Airport uh this..."

"about it he goes oh I bought the book I said 'oh was it helpful he say incredibly helpful but I didn't read it I'm like this is weird so you're telling me the book was helpful and you didn't read it s..."

"you're not alone and that others have it can actually help reduce the pressure that we feel this is such an important point that I kicking myself for not starting with this also because I think this i..."

"people even when you see someone amazing at speaking they are also probably nervous with regard to that I think we just need to talk about it more we need to share about it I mean I always will share ..."

"of us feel much more comfortable in conversation than we do in presenting and conversation is a back and forth so you can actually set up a lot of your communication situations a presentation a meetin..."

"like the reframing is excitement versus anxiety this is a refrain I'm not presenting I'm having a conversation and in so doing it ratchets down that anxiety so we need to talk about it we need to shar..."

"yourself you have another technique I think that's different maybe it's exactly the same which is to ask a question of somebody else as you're talking which is I think deflects attention for me you ca..."

"ways to get yourself through that then it becomes much easier for most people there are some people who that's not true for but for most people that's that's the way it works awesome okay next techniq..."

"along those lines there's a technique that you recommend that he recommended but I think it's a great reminder of the double exhale where you breathe in and then you exhale twice as long can you talk ..."

"example of this sounds so trivial and like why would breathing differently do have any impact on my nervousness but one there's all this research that shows that it does and two if you try it and this..."

"right if you don't say the tongue twister uh if you're not pro focused on the present moment and it also warms up your voice a lot of nervous speakers get so inside their head that they don't warm up ..."

"censor this podcast yeah I've only had to bleep one guest in all my years of doing this so okay cool we're gonna link to that is there any other ones you want to share before we move on to getting bet..."

"twister has to start with n tuck it right and then we're good this episode is brought to you by Kota and I mean that literally I use Koda every day to help me plan each episode of this very podcast it..."

"talking on the spot and I see how you enunciated very you said shift very carefully I appreciate that we gonna be so so careful I don't want this podcast flagged and uh and for adults only okay shift ..."

"bottom line many of us feel like we're either born with the Gift of Gab or we're not and so the first thing we have to realize is we can get better at it the second big point to make is you actually h..."

"is critical in spontaneous speaking most of us because we we feel the intense pressure the anxiety we just talked about we just spew out information we list and itemize information we take our audienc..."

"just have to think about what to put into it so it's like having a recipe and if I have a recipe and I have good ingredients I can cook a good meal so there are lots of structures the whole second par..."

"talk about some of those examples one of the structures that I liked that I wrote down is called prep which is make your point give a reason for making that point Give an example and then is the last ..."

"difference so we've talked about three structures so far uh what so what now what prep which is make the point give a reason example and then restate the point and then problem solution benefit so peo..."

"to get feedback from others we are not always the best judges of our communication and in so doing repetition reflection and feedback take your communic takes your communication to the next level it's..."

"listening to podcasts reading books checking out blogs and videos can be really helpful I think it's your point it's like you can read about this and listen to podcast all you want but you're not goin..."

"forces anybody to do anything great okay we went way off topic but let's get back to our the agenda I had which is let's talk about specific situations and advice you have for getting better at these ..."

"it all the time and that's why focusing on it I think really matters and and it can really as you said superpower it can be a superpower because so many people don't do this or spend the time getting ..."

"where their kid like when they're 13 they read that book and it just effed them up for a while because they just started putting these to practice way too young yeah well one thing I mean all of a sud..."

"don't have to have your own podcast to learn that lesson yeah there's a I read this book on podcasting interviewing when I first started in one of the big piece of advices if you share more about your..."

"helps me very quickly structure information and package it in a way that helps me as The Giver of the feedback think through what are the things I need to say I need to think through what's bothering ..."

"correct yeah okay let's talk about another category which is not a work category but I suck at toasts and I'm always trying to get better at this and you have a bunch of awesome advice for how to give..."

"mean your listeners know you know minimally viable product design Agile development really critical what is it about it's about understanding your audience your users and it's about rapidly prototypin..."

"the way to do it have you had Matthew dicks on your podcast I so it is so funny I have not and I want to his name comes up more than anybody else's uh and I know of his work and his advice so I might ..."

"can be so helpful to building consistency and helping yourself answer better just to clarify the acronym is ADD add answer detailed example describe the relevance describe the relevance I see how you ..."

"in the moment apologizing amazing Matt I think we've packed this episode with so many tactical golden nuggets to help people become better communicators especially on the spot is there anything else y..."

"everybody to do so all right I'm hoping people follow that advice and if not think back to what we talked about at the beginning of just how much impact doesn't have and how many people are also going..."