"what's your opinion on my bird here Mr parrot it's maau Scarlet maau what it is a Scarlet Macau oh you know Birds yeah and that's actually not life-sized are you saying he's not real I'm saying it's n..."

"welcome this is a Thanksgiving special of the pirate and oceangoing variety so once again let me say thank you for listening today and for being part of this wild Journey with me this is Alex Freedman..."

"I think eight legs six arms two punching claws or spearing claws depending on the genus uh two eyes two antenna two ear flaps I don't know what they do um and its punch can be as strong as a bullet an..."

"honest I still have a pair of its uh punching um appendages from when it moled what pet animal in your life do you miss the most that has been in your life that you think about I've never had cats or ..."

"conversation people would be asking why him and you'd be like well I wrote a book about it i' be like okay okay here here's that would be a bad no that's not what happens okay here's the thing what ha..."

"what's your opinion on my bird here Mr parrot it's maah Scarlet maau what it is a Scarlet MAA oh you know Birds yeah and that's actually not life-sized are you saying he's not real I'm saying it's not..."

"thing I would have enjoyed it I couldn't get through it like I couldn't get through 20 minutes is that how you feel about Schindler's List well it's so much easier for me to stare at you when you have..."

"in death your sadness doesn't help me I know you can't help it but tell stories how I made you laugh make fun of me make me the punching bag even literally take me out of that coffin and beat the I do..."

"I was in North Korea one oh you know Dennis robman it's a call back by the way the thing that is very heartbreaking about the North Korean situation is that they have great sense of humor uh it would ..."

"make each other laugh I think about it all the time and I think about my guide all the time it's been what uh 2012 so it's been 11 years since I've been there and she's still there and everyone I've s..."

"recognize so what do you find funny what makes you giggle like in the most joyful of ways the suffering of others I mean I there are um YouTube videos of uh of like fat people falling down and they're..."

"hangs over my uh desk cuz have her like good domestic goddess energy flowing at me what what do you find what else so nor McDonald nor my favorite comedian is we agree on something my favorite comedia..."

"my uh whore ex-wife run off to with that dentist she's shacking up with I don't know but when I see her in court next month Alaska so they're booing and he goes all right do you guys want me to bring ..."

"he goes oh that's amazing I guess I'll do an encore and he did 10 more minutes it was just just like I love him so much it's interesting they opened for Tenacious D Jack Black that's a comedic Genius ..."

"premiere at Mar Lago so I'm like I got to bring Lucas to maralago so Lucas is I'm like we're going to the president's house he's like oh the White House and I'm like no like a former president goes oh..."

"are things that actually enrage me when people and this such a wasp thing don't just go with the joke or they're like I don't get it or they don't understand to just go with it I was in the car with m..."

"specific regard yeah does your family have a sense of humor uh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you know Soviet culture there's like a dark sense of humor very much there's wit there's uh word play word ..."

"Talk which drives me crazy so what else do you thankful for well what I what's something you're thankful for well you went for family I'm definitely thankful for family okay yeah how if I may ask how ..."

"your mother is like extremely formative yeah so my dad taught me a lot of things at a young age that I'm very very grateful for uh he was he's extremely intelligent very flawed and that's fine we all ..."

"don't I know it I mean I mean I I you laugh but like I I when you got there's a lot of things I don't understand when you got heat for like I want to read the Western Classics to me that that might ha..."

"change your life the books the people the The Comedians the shows the music and even the Terrible Things have good moments Beautiful Moments some not all your podcast being an example of not all I've ..."

"haven't done live streaming in a long time I it was something I was doing a lot in New York especially during covid I feel that um I don't know I'm having I got so many projects on the plate uh I'm oh..."

"finally and it's some of the best writing I've ever done I'm really proud of the story it's kind of ironic reading it now because when you're a writer obviously you different books you put different a..."

"very blessed you must be thankful for your career yeah yeah career-wise but like uh I think the best part about it is just meeting making friends with people I admire okay quite honestly just friends ..."

"me uh I I mean the thing about moving to Austin is I forgot how lonely New York got because it was like one after another I lost everybody and a certain and then you start losing the places you go to ..."

"anywhere well but it's still part of the uh platform the Texas Republican party yeah it's fascinating that history is probably ladened with stories like this of failed revolutionaries we celebrate the..."

"grateful for a guy like that uh so for me there's I'll name some historians I love Arthur Herman Victor Sebastian is is probably my favorite um David petrusa P i e t r u s Za when you are a historian ..."

"historians about the whole uh time period of World War II will Shire people that lived during it especially I really like those accounts obviously soier nson is he's not a historian but his accounts a..."

"of what's going on in Israel on either side comparisons to Holocaust are also troubling in this way yes and and I also don't like how that turn you know I got in trouble there was some literal demon w..."

"latch like when they say climate denal no one's denying climate exists so you're just trying to go off of Holocaust denial I think it's Shameless and I think it's it's it's gross and it cheapens every..."

"what do you mean you people Pirates oh I don't see it you you what's that Mr parrot you an anti-semite no that's not nice to say in front of such a large audience you're embarrassing me Mr parrot Lex ..."

"like most of life on Earth right now people are being good to each other in in the most fundamental sense relative to how nature usually works I okay I think you're both wrong about people and about n..."

"being good good I think is a thing that gets Illustrated when you're challenged when there's difficult situations I mean civility is a good starting point and then when there's a big challenge that co..."

"happened over the past Century that it feels like the good is outp powering the bad you just did the perfect segue mhm to the Box what's in the box so is it your fragile egoo that's my you stole my jo..."

"be like my first job or I got a raise or you know what I I anything so there's this amazing sculptor named Jake Michael singer singer who's a sculptor and I saw a piece of his how's his singing voice ..."

"will he put on the shelf behind him and what that reminded me of is when I was a kid uh you read Batman comics and there's the Batcave and the Batcave has all this cool stuff in it I didn't realize un..."

"box you know uh that Steven Seagal movie where there's like a stripper that comes out of the box is that uh under sieg he's on a boat you're not an action film guy no one what does the pirate say when..."

"world so here's why his work speaks so much to me so first of all he's combining so many different references it's Nike the goddess of Victory right it's that it looks like an angel as well um the Ita..."

"that drives me crazy is when people especially conservatives think that all Contemporary Art is ugly or abstract or like literally garbage and there's a lot of that but so much of the stuff out there ..."

"reason I hate cynicism and I talk about this a lot even just on Etsy there's so many small not huge companies like individual Artisans who are creating great stuff um and just making it happen and it'..."

"corporate depravity when you have these organizations that are dishonest I think the community notes thing on Twitter is the greatest thing ever that's incredible I wish they would pay the uh attentio..."

"think um racists or transphobes or homophobes or misogynists or xenophobes argue openly or even not so openly for the killing of black Americans transgender people gay people women or immigrants and i..."

"counts when that Jewish person does the bad thing I wonder what's a way to fight anti-Semitism and fight hate in general I think the only or the best way because I thought a lot about this about how d..."

"counter to these um whatever archetype or stereotype is in the culture KL Marx wrote that religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature the heart of a heartless world and the soul of a soulless condi..."

"but otherwise big fan of marks I mean it it's I I think there's a fan of mine I forget who it was apologies he had this great quote he goes the G and this is me talking he goes the game people play to..."

"on uh 6 that six six Street aol.com clang clang that's how Lex comes like a pavo's dog that was the sound before you get to see spend 10 minutes waiting for an image of a lady load one line of a time ..."

"culture when you're exporting ideas and culture it makes other people in other countries feel closer to you and also feel regard you as as a friend and also to adopt your value it's a great way to spr..."

"and metal yeah this thing is beautiful it's ridiculous you have you have actually a lot of really cool stuff at your at your place so fun what um what's a what's a cool thing that stands out to you ma..."

"called future murmur which I am ecstatic to get just remind yourself H how many fascinating beautiful people there are out there and just the Victory and and Holiness and technology and speed and how ..."

"yeah I I think that that's that's very fair to say but I also think this kind of is like live life to the fullest you know kamu talked about living to the point of Tears yeah especially on behalf of p..."

"take I I don't know I just don't agree at all there I mean it's it's catcher in their ey there's a lot of books that are seem trivial I don't think it seems trivial but I think animal farm animal farm..."

"humanlike animals on the farm I thought the I thought the lesson was that there's no Sugar cany Mountain that's right you've interviewed a lot of people yeah what have you learned about getting to the..."

"possibility uh that this actor I'm a huge fan of um is going to be on my show I don't want to spoil everything and he's got a very specific role that he's known for and I know I'm going to I'm like ok..."

"yes and looking down on the others if someone's the other yeah whether it's the hamster people the rat people and everybody's breeding yeah H by the way are you a an archal capitalist what kind of wha..."

"this you know how sometimes when someone tells a story like At first it's amusing then it's amusing concerned and then you're like holy shit like like where's the exit yeah I'm getting nervous already..."

"that slot is filled so right now I have 67 that I use and I have 86 candidates like in the yeah in the in the queue do you label them do you remember like which one is which well they all have beautif..."

"days you have a little sample of a soap and a sample of the After Shave nice um so those are I'm forgetting someone and I'm feeling angry that I'm doing it but those are some of the oh and Katie's bub..."

"depressing that is dark cuz each each experience of Shaving is a little beautiful experience yes it is how many do you have left in your life right that's true yeah I got to tell you there's something..."

"Cole fuck you thank you yes that's a good idea for a tattoo fuck you Cole uh how did do you have advice on how to be happy yes there's a lot of loneliness and sadness in the world uh here I can give a..."

"in your life let's suppose you don't have friends right there's the internet how do people make friends try things out what's the worst that's going to happen you're going to blow up in your face well..."

"thinking yeah there's a Bukowski quote I wrote down sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think I'm not going to make it but you laugh inside remembering all the times you felt that wa..."

"of holy crap that's that's I I I'm trying to think of anything I'm afraid of you know in 1984 with the I thought like even just like I I wanted to torture you hypothetically well you're well mission a..."

"betrayed oh God yes of course haven't you not as often as I would have predicted yeah the Russian upbringing like it's like expects everyone to be like just it's a time bomb before the betray you have..."

"for a long time yeah but maybe they were in pain maybe they were desperate maybe back to to the wall they felt that way sure that's sympathy thing not really an empathy thing yeah yeah loyalty is a fa..."

"has your heart ever been broken yes love yes I'm just so relaxed right now and happy relaxed and happy good this is making me really happy it's so again it's beautiful on like eight different levels I..."