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Tony Bellew: Nothing Made Me Happy Until I Found This | E156
57 segments available
Tony Bellew is a professional boxer and a former British, Commonwealth and World Champion. As well as this, he is also an actor, and the star of Creed with Sylvester Stallone, and the author of last year's bestselling book, Everybody Has A Plan Until They Get Punched in the Face. In this raw, honest and emotional interview, Tony breaks down exactly why people dedicate their life to fighting, and how it’s often because they have no other choice. Topics: 00:00 Intro 01:22 What are the most pivotal moments of your childhood? 09:05 Racism & its impact on you 13:48 Your relationship with your father & his prison years 23:06 Street life & lack of role models 30:36 The death of your first trainer & his prediction of your success 37:49 Becoming a world champion 50:49 How much boxers actually make 56:24: Chimp Paradox 01:00:58 Dealing with grief & depression 01:10:53 How to deal with hard moments 01:19:36 Our last guest's question Tony: https://www.instagram.com/tonybellew/?hl=en https://twitter.com/TonyBellew/ Tony’s book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Everybody-Plan-Until-They-Punched/dp/1841884707 Listen on: Apple podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-diary-of-a-ceo-by-steven-bartlett/id1291423644 Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/7iQXmUT7XGuZSzAMjoNWlX FOLLOW ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/steven/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/SteveBartlettSC Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steven-bartlett-56986834/ Sponsor: Huel - https://my.huel.com/Steven Craftd - https://bit.ly/3JKOPFx
Segments Timeline
The Fight Within
Tony Bellew opens up about his struggles with happiness and the emotional turmoil he faced growing up. He reflects on pivotal moments in his childhood, including discovering his brother's sexuality and the impact of his father's absence. This segment sets the stage for understanding the deep-rooted motivations behind his journey as a fighter.
"every night I crime yourself to sleep like nothing made me happy nothing what a fighter I believe I promise here to fight it was me father who taught me how to punch and at 12 13 years old that's a po..."
A Product of My Environment
Bellew discusses how his upbringing in Wavertree, Liverpool, shaped him into a fighter. He shares the challenges he faced after his father left home and how the absence of strong role models influenced his path. This segment highlights the connection between environment and identity, emphasizing the struggles that molded him.
"I hope nobody's listening but if you are then please keep this yourself [Music] Tony from reading your book and a lot of the things that you've said over the years one of the things that really stood ..."
Heartbreak and Resilience
Tony reflects on the heartbreak of witnessing his mother's pain after his father's infidelity. He shares how this experience impacted his view on relationships and shaped his character. This segment delves into the emotional scars left by family dynamics and the resilience that emerged from such adversity.
"and uh the environment I was raised in definitely helped producer you know from being a kid at the age of 10 me old man leaves home he's gone and then at that age me little brother at that age is abou..."
Defending My Brother
In this segment, Bellew recounts the pivotal moment of discovering his brother's sexuality and the challenges that came with it. He shares his protective instincts and the lengths he went to defend his brother from bullying, illustrating the deep bond between siblings and the fight against societal prejudice.
"thing that he regrets every single day for the rest of his life which he constantly tells me and those but these are the mistakes men make what impact did that have on your mother at the time I was he..."
Navigating Identity and Race
Tony discusses the complexities of his racial identity growing up in a predominantly white environment. He reflects on the challenges of fitting in and the impact of racism on his life. This segment explores the intersection of race, identity, and belonging, shedding light on Bellew's personal experiences.
"and you just you have to learn to adapt so then at that stage yeah how your home's broken and my friends then become me family me closest friends that the five or six was like all go to school togethe..."
The Weight of Expectations
Bellew shares his experiences with racism and the expectations placed on him due to his mixed heritage. He discusses the internal conflict of wanting to belong while also feeling like an outsider. This segment highlights the emotional toll of navigating identity in a divided society.
"see where it's going but as a family we understand that now we get him I love means my little brother but then for the outside world it doesn't go down well yeah in the air in the mid 90s it wasn't co..."
Lessons from Adversity
In this reflective segment, Tony Bellew talks about the lessons he learned from his upbringing and the importance of resilience. He emphasizes the value of treating everyone with respect, regardless of their background, and how his experiences shaped his character and outlook on life.
"Taking Me Mum's Car she was away she was on holiday and I got a phone call saying your brother's been threatened to be beat up from after school or some kid threatened them so at this time I think I w..."
The Desire to Impress
Bellew discusses his strong desire to impress his father and the impact of that relationship on his life. He reflects on the motivations behind his boxing career and the drive to exceed expectations. This segment delves into the emotional connection between father and son and the influence of parental approval.
"darker yeah similar to you yes but you you're like you're significantly lighter than me yes so having a mother who is can I I'm guessing could considers herself to be a black woman she's black yeah ye..."
The Importance of Respect
Tony Bellew shares a pivotal moment from his past where he lost his job after standing up for respect and dignity. He emphasizes the importance of treating everyone equally, regardless of their status, and reflects on how his upbringing shaped his values and actions.
"started to give it a piece of my mind and I called it every slot and sweat you can go on and uh yeah and I actually lost my job for that yeah because yeah Santa once if I was she just denied she said ..."
A Father's Influence
In this segment, Tony discusses his deep admiration for his father and the desire to impress him. He reflects on the challenges his father faced and how those experiences motivated him to pursue boxing, aiming to achieve more than his father did.
"right he kind of lived in Barry hands Shadow you've spoke a lot of people wow but he was he was when I was reading your story I saw the same thing you had this real strong desire to impress your fathe..."
Lessons from the Nightclub
Tony recounts his father's experiences running a nightclub and the dangers that came with it. He shares how witnessing his father's struggles and resilience influenced his own path and instilled a desire to succeed in a challenging environment.
"was a hard mommy my dad can fight you know really really fight but he tried the boxing didn't stick at it didn't go right and it didn't go right because not because he's not hard enough for Tough Enou..."
The Start of Boxing
Tony Bellew reflects on his initial foray into boxing, motivated by a desire to prove himself to his father. He shares how his natural talent for fighting emerged early on, leading him to pursue boxing seriously despite initially wanting to be a footballer.
"going into the boxing gym that was the first step once I found out he that he couldn't progress any further boxing I thought okay I'll show you how I can I'll have a go and it started off as just a bi..."
The Impact of Early Experiences
In this segment, Tony discusses the pivotal moments of his youth, including being expelled from school for fighting. He reflects on how these experiences shaped his identity and the perception of violence in his life.
"disqualified and lost I knocked these kids out with punches and he was extremely proud and I was like oh this is the way forward and and even though I didn't know that then mentally and subconsciously..."
Visiting His Father in Prison
Tony shares the emotional experience of visiting his father in prison and the impactful lesson he learned about failure. His father's words about jail being the 'house of failure' resonate deeply with him, shaping his perspective on life choices.
"off the safe the manager he was employing to manage took ten thousand pound off the safe and went running with his money so uh me father pick them up found this home and demanded this money back and t..."
The Reality of Jail
In this segment, Tony discusses the stigma surrounding jail and the importance of not glorifying it. He reflects on how his father's insights about prison shaped his understanding of success and failure, emphasizing the need for positive role models.
"but sticks with me once again it's a part of me life whether things to myself wow I can never come here he tells me the most important one of the most important phrases he ever told me in life I'm sit..."
Dreams of a Better Life
Tony Bellew talks about his aspirations for a better life and the material desires that drove him as a teenager. He reflects on the societal pressures and the lack of role models in his environment, which influenced his choices.
"I'm not stupid enough to think that that couldn't have been me Could Have Been Me with the cards and dealt with could have very very easily been me I'm just very fortunate that didn't happen to me whe..."
The Pursuit of Nice Things
In this segment, Tony explains his childhood desire for nice things and how that desire was shaped by his environment. He discusses the contrast between his aspirations and the reality of his upbringing, highlighting the challenges faced by those in his community.
"yeah this one said what you're going to be when you grow up what would the response have been at 15 after getting kicked out locked up you thought that's what help was going to play off you yeah becau..."
Breaking the Cycle
Tony reflects on the cycle of deprivation in his community and the paths that many young people take. He shares his own journey and the importance of education and hard work in breaking free from societal expectations.
"referee because it felt it's not it's enough it's actually nice really it's a nice part of the Liverpool you would say litherlands really nice really yeah that's really really they were like the lowes..."
Breaking the Cycle of Deprivation
In this segment, Tony discusses the challenges faced by youth in deprived areas, including the allure of drug dealing as a means to escape poverty. He emphasizes the importance of visibility and representation, noting that without seeing successful individuals from similar backgrounds, children may feel trapped in a cycle of crime and hopelessness. Tony's personal experiences underscore the need for mentorship and guidance in these communities.
"my area and was going to be like it's only since I've grown up and I've realized so three of us got expelled from school there was me tinker and Walker three of us are permanently expelled uh now them..."
The Power of Perseverance
Tony Bellew shares his journey alongside friends who faced similar challenges growing up. He highlights how despite being expelled from school, they all found success in various fields, including academia and sports. This segment illustrates the power of perseverance and the potential for individuals to rise above their circumstances, serving as an inspiration for others in similar situations.
"to us as kids because as I say if I could tell you what that Professor was doing now as 15 you wouldn't believe me if I could tell you what the 16 year old was doing and what was going on as the jaile..."
The Influence of Jimmy
Tony reflects on the profound impact of his amateur coach, Jimmy, who recognized his potential before he did. He recounts their first meeting and how Jimmy's tough love and high expectations pushed him to work harder than he ever thought possible. This segment emphasizes the importance of mentorship in sports and life, showcasing how a coach can shape an athlete's career and self-belief.
"been where they've been I can relate to them and I just need to get across to them so I do that now with the program then do with the weapons down gloves up and certain amount of it's in the book But ..."
The First Real Loss
In this emotional segment, Tony discusses the loss of his coach Jimmy, who played a crucial role in his boxing career. He recounts the moment he received the news and the deep grief that followed. This loss marked a turning point in Tony's life, highlighting the emotional toll of losing a mentor and the impact it has on one's career and personal growth.
"amateur about I walked in there was on the ABC and I started punching a bag this had been the second gym I tried out so I went in this gym and they punched a bag and he comes have you ever boxed befor..."
Grief and Its Challenges
Tony Bellew opens up about the challenges of dealing with grief after losing his coach. He shares how the loss affected him personally and professionally, revealing the struggle to cope with such a significant absence in his life. This segment delves into the emotional complexities of grief and the importance of support systems during difficult times.
"four or five belts four boats I go back to the tournament table between my legs and go back to Jimmy Albertina after him telling me it's gonna be 12 18 months this guy now knows who I am he's seeing m..."
A Champion's Journey
In this segment, Tony reflects on his early boxing career and the pivotal moments that shaped him into a champion. He shares stories of his first amateur fights, the thrill of victory, and the lessons learned along the way. This narrative illustrates the dedication and hard work required to succeed in boxing, as well as the importance of believing in oneself.
"that call yep Paul Smith phoned me I was a Paul phone me and I was just sitting there and he's and and he was sobbing on the phone and said whoa what's wrong where are you and he was just can't he was..."
Legacy of a Mentor
Tony discusses the lasting legacy of his coach Jimmy and how he continues to honor his memory. He reflects on the values instilled in him and the impact Jimmy had on his life and career. This segment emphasizes the importance of mentorship and the responsibility of athletes to carry forward the lessons learned from those who guided them.
"fighter you lot will ever see nails and not only Sports entered in Leeds telling everyone I am the king of the world I am the best ever now this is just so embarrassing when I look back this is a guy ..."
The Role of Boxing Gyms in Communities
Tony Bellew highlights the vital role boxing gyms play in transforming lives and providing a safe haven for youth. He shares personal anecdotes about how these spaces can save individuals from a life of crime and violence. This segment underscores the importance of community support and the positive influence of sports in fostering resilience and hope.
"will never let his name go you know when I whatever I am I will always take his name with me and then you go in and do exactly that what what um Jimmy predicted you would do yeah which is crazy I thin..."
The Financial Struggles of Boxers
Tony Bellew opens up about the financial realities of being a professional boxer, revealing that he didn't become a millionaire until late in his career. He shares his experiences of living paycheck to paycheck, even after achieving significant success in the ring, and the pressures that come with providing for his family while pursuing his boxing dreams.
"that yeah and yeah we were very fortunate as all of us to have them without a meeting would have changed so many that fights his lives in that place and in that Community as well I don't it's not an u..."
The Cost of Pursuing a Dream
Bellew reflects on the sacrifices he made in pursuit of his boxing career, including financial struggles and the toll it took on his family life. He recounts a pivotal moment when he spent his earnings on his children's Christmas instead of saving for his own needs, illustrating the harsh realities faced by many fighters in the sport.
"topping bills I've thwarted the evidence football stadium gooderson Park have defended my world title at the echo rioska you know I've sold out multiple venues at this point I've fought on Sky Box Off..."
Achieving the Dream of a World Champion
In this emotional segment, Bellew describes the moment he achieved his lifelong dream of becoming a world champion. He shares the feelings of fulfillment and the unexpected reality that followed, revealing the financial pressures that continued to loom over him despite his success in the ring.
"I've got a mortgage to pay I've got kids to provide for but everyone thinks from the outside I'm this board and professional and I've got loads of money because I've got a new car and whatever have yo..."
The Reality of Fame and Financial Security
Tony Bellew discusses the shift in his life after winning the world title and how fame changed his public perception. He reflects on the challenges of achieving financial security and the realization that success in boxing does not always equate to financial stability, highlighting the complexities of life as a professional athlete.
"champion the frightening part is imagine getting to that point in life becoming world champion all that and then thinking my wife then says to me and she's not my wife at the time she still need bed w..."
The Burden of Responsibility
In this segment, Bellew shares the burden of responsibility he felt after becoming a world champion. He discusses the pressure to provide for his family and the realization that his boxing career was not just about personal glory but also about securing a future for his loved ones.
"she was like you've got head guards on it's it's not even boxing it's just it's it's basically it's a gamer tick and I was like [ __ ] sake girl if you only knew I mean but I had God on you and give y..."
The Fight Against Adversity
Tony Bellew reflects on his journey through adversity, including the loss of loved ones and the challenges of maintaining focus in his boxing career. He emphasizes the importance of resilience and the drive to overcome obstacles, sharing personal anecdotes that illustrate his determination to succeed.
"now it's time to just be a dad and I'm like no it's not it's you know I've got to financially secure this so then I made the uh the audacious thing to Target a man with a pound sign on his head and th..."
The Transition from Dream to Reality
In this poignant segment, Bellew discusses the transition from chasing a dream to living in reality after achieving his goals. He shares insights into the emotional and psychological challenges that come with success, revealing how he navigated the complexities of life as a world champion.
"yeah I knew him I actually knew after that spawn session I'm gonna fight this man later in my career I told David Price on the day me and David Price spot on that day he was he was getting notified Ma..."
The Moment of Financial Relief
Tony Bellew recounts the moment he realized he had become financially secure after his fight with David Haye. He describes the anticipation of receiving his earnings and the profound impact it had on his life, marking a significant turning point in his boxing career and personal journey.
"when I became financially secure I then realized it wasn't a dream it wasn't the money that I was chasing I need something to drive me in life I've only realized that since I've retired so yeah do you..."
The Value of Loyalty
In this segment, Tony Bellew talks about the importance of loyalty in his career, particularly regarding his relationship with promoter Eddie Hearn. He recounts a significant moment when he turned down a lucrative offer, emphasizing the value of trust and integrity in his dealings.
"the money to be living the way I'd like to live right now I've got enough of me accounts the business has gone well at this stage in time now after beating David I've got enough to start buying proper..."
The Weight of Financial Success
Bellew shares his experience of becoming a multi-millionaire and the unexpected emotional aftermath. He reflects on the challenges of managing newfound wealth and the realization that money alone does not equate to happiness or fulfillment.
"I have to go to some Park Victory the way I've done it and the way I executed it it was perfect I then defend me world title and a smashed some guy called BJ Flawless like no one's ever done him befor..."
The Audacity of Refusing Money
Tony recounts a tense moment when he turned down a substantial offer of £1.6 million, highlighting the pressure he felt from his family and the significance of sticking to his principles during a critical time in his career.
"that stage uh but thankfully enough I did I carried on believing in myself and show that I can be loyal even when tested at the most difficult of time because you can imagine when I've got that phone ..."
The Reality of Wealth
In this candid discussion, Bellew reflects on the reality of being a millionaire and the misconceptions surrounding wealth. He shares his journey of waiting for financial stability and the emotional complexities that accompany it.
"the store because at this stage now I've got three kids and I've just knocked back 1.6 million pounds and I'm basically worth 480 Grand I'm not in a company by the way as well and they served me one p..."
The Inner Child and Material Desires
Tony Bellew opens up about the lingering desires of his inner child, discussing moments of wanting luxury items like Lamborghinis. He explores the conflict between material aspirations and the deeper understanding of what truly matters in life.
"be I didn't nothing's changed me as a person nothing's changed in my life I've still got three hungry kids I've still got a Wi-Fi door yeah yeah not really changes you know how it feels yeah I know I ..."
Understanding the Chimp Paradox
Bellew discusses the concept of the 'Chimp Paradox,' a psychological framework that helps individuals understand their emotional responses. He shares insights on how this understanding has impacted his relationships and personal growth.
"then I have I'd never really talk about this but I have these little moments where I start looking at Lamborghinis again just out of the blue like four times a year and then sometimes it overflows and..."
Navigating Emotional Control
In this segment, Tony and Steven discuss the importance of emotional control in relationships. Bellew shares a personal experience of applying lessons from the Chimp Paradox to improve communication with his partner.
"a lot of people's lives I absorb it better has it yeah I only listen to audiobooks as well and well other than I actually downloaded your audiobook for 999 and then I was going between both of them so..."
The Impact of Loss
Tony Bellew reflects on the profound impact of losing his close friend Ashley. He shares the emotional turmoil and the lasting effects of grief on his life and relationships, emphasizing the unfairness of such a loss.
"it's all the chin part of our brain causes us a lot of problems but I've got to read this [ __ ] book yeah I know you for sure I've just done the biggest plug in the world for it but that is brilliant..."
Coping with Grief and Relationships
Bellew discusses how the loss of Ashley affected his relationship with his wife, Rachel. He candidly shares the challenges they faced in coping with grief and the complexities of navigating their emotional landscape.
"about you becoming you kind of crossed over after that David Hay fight one of the things I will never forget is the raw emotion that came out of you after you won that fight the first one for the seco..."
The Unfairness of Life
In this heartfelt segment, Tony Bellew expresses his feelings about the unfairness of life and the loss of young, innocent individuals. He reflects on the memories of Ashley and the lasting impact of his absence on those who loved him.
"two grown up 18 months a party grow up basically like twins so she adores them here doors here they fight the argue constantly as as siblings and then one day's here the next day is just gone and he'd..."
Escapism Through Boxing
Tony Bellew opens up about how he used boxing as a form of escapism following Ashley's death. He reflects on the conflict between honoring his commitments as a fighter and dealing with his grief, revealing the emotional toll of training while grappling with loss.
"especially a child a parent should never bury a child in any way shape or form that is the most Hollow and frightening thing you could possibly imagine losing one of your children how they got through..."
The Weight of Helplessness
In this poignant moment, Tony shares the helplessness he feels in not being able to alleviate his wife's pain after losing Ashley. He discusses the emotional struggle of wanting to be a supportive partner while facing his own grief, highlighting the complexities of navigating loss in a relationship.
"facing the pain because I just climbing myself to sleep every night that I'm in Sheffield every night I climb yourself to sleep but I know my wife's at home kind of self-sleep as well my kids are with..."
Recognizing Depression
Tony Bellew candidly discusses his experience with depression following the loss of Ashley. He reflects on the feelings of despair and the realization that he was not okay, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging mental health struggles and the stigma surrounding them.
"it's helpless so yeah it's tough in one of your interviews when you're talking about this you you referenced that phase of your life I think as being you feeling like you were depressed is that is acc..."
Finding Purpose After Loss
In this segment, Tony reveals how participating in the SAS show helped him confront his feelings of depression and find clarity about what truly matters in life. He emphasizes the importance of focusing on family and personal happiness over external distractions.
"that's the one thing if you're I'm a husband I'm a partner I should be able to be there for it I'm gonna be the comfort blanket but I can't I can't change it so yeah that's hard it's tough you said sh..."
The Journey of Self-Discovery
Tony reflects on the protective walls he built around himself to survive his past and how they hinder his emotional connections in adulthood. He discusses the importance of vulnerability and the journey of self-discovery that comes with facing one's pain.
"what massages me messaging me kids the no one in this world actually needs me or depends on me to the amount that they need me I put them kids on this plans I've got a look after them I've got to give..."
Moving Forward Without Regret
In this reflective moment, Tony shares his philosophy on not dwelling on the past. He emphasizes the importance of focusing on the present and future, and how he strives to maintain happiness despite life's challenges, illustrating his commitment to personal growth.
"not okay what's wrong and then in that moment at 40 years old he just lets it down and he says everything from my head teacher abused me sexually abused me at school I speak all of these things that h..."
The Pursuit of Happiness
Tony Bellew discusses the ongoing pursuit of happiness in his life, acknowledging that while he has achieved success, he still faces challenges. He emphasizes the importance of being present for his family and the realization that true happiness comes from within, not from external achievements.
"I can't change it so there's no point in discussing it like I went to New York on the weekend and uh just be as I got to the airport I had a shitload of [ __ ] just get to the airports I'm always earl..."
The Pursuit of Happiness
Tony Bellew reflects on the true meaning of happiness beyond material wealth. He emphasizes that happiness is not defined by the amount of money in one's bank account but by the fulfillment and joy derived from life experiences. Bellew candidly shares his ongoing quest for happiness, acknowledging that while he has achieved much, he still strives for improvement and fulfillment.
"you've got to look at the scenario and the setup you've got but ultimately are you happy and that's all that matters I don't care if you've got a pound in your bank or you've got 100 million in your b..."
Chasing Goals and Family Life
In this segment, Tony discusses the balance between his professional ambitions and family life. He admits that after retiring, he struggled with finding purpose and staying active. Bellew highlights the importance of setting goals and maintaining relationships with his family, illustrating the challenges of transitioning from a high-adrenaline career to a more subdued home life.
"I'm still striving I'm still pushing towards goals whether that be where it goals whether that be I always want to be better so that's the problem with me you said it's not complete no what would be r..."
The Struggle of Normal Life
Tony Bellew opens up about his difficulties adjusting to a 'normal' life after boxing. He acknowledges that he is not suited for a typical nine-to-five routine and shares his experiences with various jobs. This segment captures his realization that the adrenaline and excitement of boxing are hard to replicate in everyday life, leading to a sense of restlessness.
"trying to keep a working relationship and and a lifestyle relationship both of them work in tandem so I can remain happy people keep also enough time to spend with my kids and family because ultimatel..."
The Myth of Completeness
In this thought-provoking segment, Tony Bellew confronts the idea of being 'complete' and the fear that it may not exist. He discusses the universal struggle of seeking fulfillment and the reality that no one can feel entirely complete. Bellew's insights challenge the notion of perfection and highlight the ongoing journey of self-improvement.
"that is an enormous amount of strength that you give them a pattern on the back but everyone out there doing nine to five I've done it I've tried it I've worked the next I've worked in a pillow factor..."
Using Wealth for Purpose
Tony Bellew shares his perspective on wealth and its potential impact on his legacy. He contemplates how unlimited money could be used to create a safe future for his children while emphasizing the importance of teaching them the value of hard work. This segment explores the responsibility that comes with financial success and the desire to inspire others.
"unicorn it just doesn't exist but I I'm still chasing it well I'd like to think so quick one we bring in eight people a month to watch these conversations live here in the studio when we're here in th..."
The Journey Over the Destination
In this powerful conclusion, Tony Bellew reflects on the importance of the journey rather than the end result. He critiques the perception of fame and success portrayed on social media, emphasizing that true achievement comes from hard work and perseverance. Bellew's message serves as an inspiration for others to recognize their potential and the struggles behind their successes.
"money was no issue creative I wonder if they're trying to create things for me kids that are passed out so I've always thought about when I die so leaving making sure they're safe would you give them ..."