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Mel Robbins: This One Hack Will Unlock Your Happier Life | E108
68 segments available
This weeks episode is entitled 'Mel Robbins: This One Hack Will Unlock Your Happier Life'. Topics: 0:00 Intro 03:28 What made you into who you are today? 12:10 The biggest flaw in the human design 19:05 Dealing with anxiety my whole life 25:51 The layers of healing 53:23 The 5 second rule 01:02:34 The high five habit 01:23:46 Manifestation and visualisation 01:36:14 Understanding when you’re ‘stuck’ 01:43:29 The last guests question 01:45:18 Do you still struggle with everything you talk about? 01:53:29 Finally understanding why I do what I do Mel: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ https://twitter.com/melrobbins @melrobbins The Diary Of A CEO Live has new dates! Sign up here to be notified - https://mailchi.mp/d62dd89142ed/newdates The Diary Of A CEO Live Newcastle & Glasgow - https://g2ul0.app.link/diaryofaceolive Listen on: Apple podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-diary-of-a-ceo-by-steven-bartlett/id1291423644 Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/7iQXmUT7XGuZSzAMjoNWlX FOLLOW ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/steven/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/SteveBartlettSC Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steven-bartlett-56986834/ Sponsors: Huel - https://uk.huel.com/ Myenergi - https://bit.ly/3oeWGnl
Segments Timeline
The Genius of Mel Robbins
In this segment, Stephen Bartlett introduces Mel Robbins, highlighting her unique insights and transformative impact on people's lives. He reflects on how her teachings have helped millions overcome anxiety and emphasizes the emotional depth of their conversation, setting the stage for a powerful discussion.
"this is freaking genius i've taught it to millions of people it's curing people's anxiety there is nobody like mel robbins there is nobody if i hadn't done what i did that morning my life would have g..."
The Cauldron of Mel's Formation
Mel Robbins shares her reflections on her upbringing and the defining moments that shaped her. She discusses the influence of her parents and a traumatic childhood experience that she repressed for years, illustrating how these events contributed to her understanding of human behavior and personal struggles.
"i'm stephen bartlett and this is the director ceo i hope nobody's listening but if you are then please keep this to yourself [Music] before we started recording i said a lot of nice things about you j..."
The Impact of Childhood Trauma
Mel recounts a pivotal childhood incident of molestation that she suppressed until her late twenties. She explains how this experience led to patterns of anxiety and disassociation, emphasizing the long-term effects of unresolved trauma on her mental health and behavior.
"no defining moment because i had great parents who did the best that they could with what they were handed in terms of their own childhoods and patterns and thinking and i grew up in a tiny little tow..."
Understanding Anxiety and Self-Perception
In this segment, Mel discusses her struggles with anxiety, particularly during her time in law school. She reflects on the confusion and self-blame that arose from her childhood trauma, revealing how these experiences shaped her understanding of herself and her mental health challenges.
"and the very next morning i'll never forget this um i hid underneath the sheets because it was a big bunk room and all the kids uh left to go downstairs to get ready to go skiing and i remember waitin..."
The Journey to Self-Discovery
Mel shares her journey of self-discovery, triggered by a seminar where another participant's story resonated with her own suppressed memories. She emphasizes the importance of processing trauma through communication and how this realization opened the floodgates for her to share her experiences.
"understanding my own breakdowns my own heartaches my own struggles and sharing what i'm learning with anybody who will listen how's that for an answer yeah did you ever tell anybody when did you first..."
The Flaw in Human Design
Mel discusses the fundamental flaw in human design: the inability of children to process traumatic experiences due to a lack of life experience and support. She explains how this leads to self-blame and the internalization of negative experiences, impacting mental health into adulthood.
"that this babysitter was choosing me and while i'm in this room getting abused my sister is out there watching tv and when she said that i had an immediate memory and there was this triggering moment ..."
The Nature of Trauma
In this segment, Mel elaborates on the nature of trauma, explaining how it can manifest from various experiences, including chaos in the household or critical parenting. She emphasizes that trauma is deeply personal and can affect anyone, regardless of their upbringing.
"self-bashing that is the piece that um i think has been the thing that i've really struggled with why am i so [ __ ] up yeah why am i so [ __ ] up you know there's um there's this incredible thing abo..."
The Shift from Self-Love to Self-Doubt
Mel reflects on the transition from childhood self-love to self-doubt as children begin to compare themselves to others. She discusses how societal pressures and personal experiences can lead to a negative self-image, impacting one's confidence and sense of belonging.
"is [ __ ] or these adults somebody call the police like this is not okay you don't get to talk to me like no kid does that the fundamental flaw in human design is that when something happens to you as..."
Navigating Anxiety in College
Mel opens up about her struggles with anxiety during college, detailing how it manifested in procrastination and disorientation. She shares her journey of understanding her mental health and the importance of addressing these issues to foster personal growth.
"birthright but life happens and it can happen two ways you know if you grow up in a chaotic household you start to absorb the message that something's wrong and so you go into modes of behavior to pro..."
Anxiety: A Lifelong Battle
In this segment, Mel opens up about her personal struggles with anxiety, tracing it back to a traumatic experience in childhood. She describes how this anxiety manifested in her daily life, affecting her ability to feel comfortable and present, and how it led to chronic feelings of alertness and discomfort.
"when i was reading about your story we're talking about education then in schools um it seemed that you were quite i don't know disorientated in college when you went to college and you were strugglin..."
The Impact of Anxiety on Daily Life
Mel Robbins shares her experiences of living with anxiety, detailing how it affected her childhood and social interactions. She describes the physical symptoms of anxiety and how they contributed to a constant state of fear and disassociation, making it difficult to engage with the world around her.
"of feeling on alert feeling the sense that i got to be aware fight or fly yes yes my you know in in clinical terms my sympathetic nervous system got switched on and i had no idea how to turn it off an..."
The Spiral of Anxiety and Fear
Mel elaborates on the cycle of anxiety, explaining how fear can escalate into a spiral of negative thoughts and physical symptoms. She reflects on her experiences at summer camp, illustrating how anxiety can distort reality and lead to feelings of isolation and panic.
"out of her mind when you say out of your mind what are the physical symptoms or verbal symptoms of that oh my gosh um complete disassociation so i would be at camp like literally sixth grade camp so a..."
Confronting the Self: A Pandemic Revelation
During the pandemic, Mel Robbins found herself forced to slow down and confront her inner self. She discusses the challenges of facing her own thoughts and feelings, realizing that despite her progress in healing, she was still running from deeper issues that needed to be addressed.
"and so um you know you learn how to cope you it becomes your new normal but that was basically my life constantly feeling like something bad was going to happen constantly feeling like i wasn't really..."
Layers of Healing: Understanding Trauma
Mel explains the importance of addressing trauma at multiple levels. She emphasizes that talking about experiences is just one layer of healing, and that true recovery involves understanding how trauma affects the nervous system and developing new patterns of behavior.
"what do i really want how do i really want to feel you talk about the topic of distraction and procrastination and it's rarely in this context but it sounds like a form of distraction distracting your..."
The Connection Between Mind and Body
In this segment, Mel Robbins discusses the profound connection between the mind and body in relation to trauma. She shares a personal story about a car accident that triggered memories and feelings, illustrating how physical experiences can leave lasting impacts on our mental state.
"and it's a super important thing to do to give yourself the gift of sitting down with somebody who is licensed or who has an expertise in helping you unpack what happened because it's only in being ab..."
Transforming Negative Patterns
Mel concludes by discussing how to transform negative thought patterns into positive ones. She shares insights on replacing anxiety-driven thoughts with empowering questions, emphasizing the importance of understanding that thoughts are suggestions, not commands, and how this realization can lead to a happier life.
"why it's deeply personal how it's a physical experience not just a mental experience so when i was um god how old was i i guess i was i must have been in high school we were driving to northern michig..."
Understanding Emotions: Complex and Temporary
In this segment, Robbins explores the complexity of human emotions, explaining that it's possible to feel multiple emotions simultaneously. She highlights that emotions are temporary and can be managed by recognizing their transient nature, allowing individuals to navigate through difficult feelings with greater ease.
"it no it's very simple to do but it's not easy and it's not easy because you love patterns like we don't it doesn't that's not even the right way to say it it's not easy because you're so used to thin..."
The Nature of Anxiety: Alarm System or Overreaction?
Mel Robbins delves into the biological basis of anxiety, describing it as an alarm system that can become dysregulated. She explains how anxiety can manifest without a real threat, leading to panic attacks, and emphasizes the importance of understanding this mechanism to regain control over one's emotional state.
"one thing it gives you freedom to ride the waves of feelings to ride the waves of experience and to kind of go down and go oh [ __ ] this is a terrible thing and know that you will be able to come out..."
Tricking Your Brain: From Nervous to Excited
Robbins shares insights from research on performance anxiety, revealing that the physiological responses to excitement and nervousness are identical. She discusses how reframing nervousness as excitement can enhance performance and reduce anxiety, providing practical strategies for managing anxiety in high-pressure situations.
"you're enduring why should you drink fuel we're going into the fourth quarter of the year diets are dropping off we're becoming lazier and lazier and what tends to happen when our diets dip and we we ..."
The Power of Positive Visualization
In this segment, Robbins recounts her personal experience with flying anxiety and how she learned to visualize positive outcomes. By focusing on what she was excited about, she was able to transform her fear into anticipation, demonstrating the effectiveness of positive visualization techniques in overcoming anxiety.
"started to figure out well if i think this i'd rather be thinking this and so then i started working on replacing the thoughts so that the default became different the next step though was a deeper un..."
The Science Behind Anxiety and Performance
Mel Robbins explains the physiological effects of anxiety on performance, detailing how cortisol can hinder focus. She shares findings from studies that show how simply stating 'I'm excited' can help mitigate anxiety and improve performance, offering a powerful tool for anyone facing stressful situations.
"function as normal my dietary tract should start to engage we should start burning the carbs again in my belly yeah and things should go back to normal exactly from a biological perspective yes exactl..."
Transforming Fear into Excitement
Robbins illustrates how to transform feelings of fear into excitement by changing one's internal dialogue. She emphasizes the importance of focusing on positive outcomes and how this shift can lead to better performance in various situations, including public speaking and high-stakes environments.
"your body just got stuck there and so when i started to understand that i found this really interesting piece of research um from harvard medical school called reframing performance anxiety where rese..."
Harnessing the Power of Excitement
In this concluding segment, Robbins reinforces the idea that excitement can be a powerful antidote to anxiety. By training the brain to associate nervousness with excitement, individuals can improve their performance and overall well-being, showcasing the transformative potential of mindset shifts.
"of course you're going to start sweating of course your heart's going to race if you and i are about to go see our favorite musician let's say we have front row tickets adele is going to play right he..."
Transforming Anxiety into Excitement
Mel Robbins shares her personal experience of overcoming anxiety while flying by reframing her feelings. Instead of viewing turbulence as a threat, she learned to associate it with excitement about meeting Steven. This segment highlights the power of mindset in transforming fear into positive anticipation.
"when i get on that plane and we're up in the air and all of a sudden we start bouncing around like you know something yeah like turbulence in the air and my body goes oh my god i close my eyes and go ..."
The Science of Butterflies in Your Stomach
In this segment, Mel discusses the common experience of feeling butterflies in your stomach and how it often triggers anxiety. She explains how this physical sensation can be reinterpreted as excitement, emphasizing the importance of changing negative thought patterns to foster a more positive outlook.
"what it sounded like but but i have to i just completely resonate and then anyone that's really listened to to me even in two episodes ago one of the questions i was asked was about imposter syndrome ..."
Hijacking Negative Patterns
Mel Robbins elaborates on how she has learned to hijack negative thought patterns associated with anxiety. By reframing her feelings and recognizing that she can choose excitement over fear, she has developed a positive cycle that enhances her confidence and performance in high-pressure situations.
"done is you've hijacked it and you've labeled that feeling in your stomach as something positive i'm really excited 100 but i don't deserve credit for that because it was never it was i've i figured t..."
Patterns of Thinking and Behavior
Mel discusses the concept of patterns in thinking and behavior, emphasizing that feeling stuck doesn't mean you're broken. She encourages viewers to identify and replace negative patterns with positive ones, which can lead to significant life changes.
"well you know what i just got really excited about is that let's go back to the fact that your brain learns patterns and even though you may feel stuck even though you may feel hopeless you're not bro..."
The Five Second Rule Explained
In this segment, Mel Robbins introduces her Five Second Rule, a technique she developed to combat anxiety and procrastination. She shares the story of how this rule emerged from a moment of inspiration and explains its effectiveness in prompting immediate action.
"the morning i've been using the five second rule 54321 for 13 years can we talk about that i feel like we haven't brushed over that little bit so this five second rule uh-huh um you released the book ..."
Overcoming Life's Challenges
Mel reflects on her struggles during a challenging period in her life, detailing how she felt overwhelmed and stuck. She emphasizes that while people often know what they need to do to improve their situation, the real challenge lies in overcoming the fear and anxiety that prevent action.
"it's not and so i would wake up every morning just pinned to the bed with anxiety and i became somebody that i barely recognized i was screaming at crisps i was drinking myself into the ground i the k..."
The Moment That Changed Everything
Mel recounts a pivotal moment in her life when she decided to take action by using the Five Second Rule. This decision marked a turning point, leading her to confront her fears and take control of her life, illustrating the profound impact of a single decision.
"didn't know any of the things that we're talking about right now but one night you know i was sitting there and i was watching tv and i was telling myself tomorrow morning it's got to be the new you i..."
The Power of Counting Backwards
In this segment, Mel explains the mechanics behind the Five Second Rule, detailing how counting backwards interrupts negative thought patterns and activates the brain's prefrontal cortex. She shares how this simple technique can lead to significant behavioral changes.
"and then i did what psychologists call a bias toward thinking and this window opens up when you start to think about what you need to do instead of doing what you need to do it's this window of hesita..."
The Impact of the Five Second Rule
Mel discusses the widespread impact of the Five Second Rule, sharing stories of individuals who have used it to change their lives. She highlights its simplicity and effectiveness, emphasizing that small actions can lead to profound changes.
"um in any moment i'd see chris i'd want to kill him 54321 all of a sudden i'm calm i can speak to him from a more supportive place kids are irritating five four three two one take a breath and now i c..."
Introducing the High Five Habit
Mel introduces her new concept, the High Five Habit, which focuses on self-appreciation and gratitude. She explains how this habit addresses the core issue of self-criticism and promotes a healthier self-image, building on the principles established in the Five Second Rule.
"and it works and i think we make a huge mistake in life we make the mistake of believing that because our problems are big or because our dreams are so big that somehow the solution to achieving those..."
The Power of Morning Rituals
Mel Robbins shares her personal story of discovering the High Five Habit during a challenging time in her life. She emphasizes the significance of morning rituals and how they can set the tone for the day. By incorporating a simple act of self-encouragement, Robbins illustrates how individuals can shift their mindset and approach to daily challenges.
"fact that in spite of all that success i still didn't like myself i still judge the woman in the mirror i was still in many ways betting against myself by constantly beating the hell out of myself and..."
Creating a Positive Connection with Yourself
In this segment, Robbins explains the emotional and psychological benefits of high-fiving oneself in the mirror. She describes the shift in her mindset from self-criticism to self-encouragement, highlighting the importance of recognizing and celebrating oneself. This practice fosters a sense of partnership and connection with one's inner self.
"and it's that simple put down the toothbrush look at yourself in the mirror raise your hand and send yourself into your day knowing that you have your own back knowing that no matter what happens toda..."
The Shift from Negativity to Positivity
Mel Robbins discusses the transformative experience of high-fiving oneself and how it can lead to a positive shift in mindset. She shares her realization of feeling excited to see herself in the mirror, a feeling she had never experienced before. This segment emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and the impact of positive reinforcement on mental health.
"and so one morning i'm standing in my bathroom and i'm brushing my teeth and i'm there in my underwear and i look at myself in the mirror and my first thought is oh my god you look like hell and then ..."
Understanding Self-Rejection
Robbins delves into the concept of self-rejection and how it manifests in daily life. She explains that many people struggle to look at themselves in the mirror due to feelings of disgust or disappointment. This segment highlights the need to confront these negative feelings and the importance of self-acceptance in overcoming them.
"big game about gratitude and and meditation and morning routines but we've skipped this one thing that's happening in everybody's morning routine and it's a habit of self rejection of self-criticism a..."
The Neuroscience Behind High-Fiving Yourself
In this segment, Mel Robbins explores the neuroscience behind the High Five Habit. She explains how the physical action of high-fiving triggers positive emotions and reinforces self-acceptance. Robbins discusses the neurological connections that make this practice effective in combating negative self-talk and fostering a positive self-image.
"to sort of a like come on now you got a roof over your head it's not that bad get your ass out like it was kind of like that kind of tough coach kind of mustering of an energy but stephen it was the s..."
Celebration and Connection with Yourself
Robbins emphasizes the celebratory nature of high-fiving oneself and how it can create a sense of connection with one's inner self. She discusses the emotional needs that this practice fulfills, such as acceptance and celebration. This segment reinforces the idea that self-encouragement is essential for personal growth and well-being.
"and there's a sense that you're returning home the same way that a neighbor waves to you and sees you i knew that i would have that experience with myself as soon as i rounded the corner and walked in..."
Transforming Self-Perception
In this segment, Mel Robbins shares her journey of transforming her self-perception through the High Five Habit. She reflects on how this practice has changed her relationship with herself, allowing her to see herself as someone worthy of love and support. Robbins highlights the importance of self-acceptance in achieving personal fulfillment.
"of connection that you've been longing for for a very long time and so that second morning you know i'm realizing holy cow it's like this sort of it's sort of like when you first realize that the voic..."
The Impact of High-Fiving on Mental Health
Mel Robbins discusses the profound impact of the High Five Habit on mental health. She shares testimonials from individuals who have experienced breakthroughs in their struggles with anxiety, depression, and self-worth. This segment underscores the effectiveness of this simple practice in fostering resilience and emotional well-being.
"you think is wrong that action that intention behind it is self-rejection it is self-criticism it is self-hatred and for so many men if it's not about your appearance it's about where you are in life ..."
Embracing Your Journey
In the final segment, Robbins encourages listeners to embrace their journey and recognize the importance of self-love. She emphasizes that the High Five Habit is not just a gesture but a powerful tool for personal transformation. This segment serves as a motivational call to action for individuals to prioritize their mental health and well-being.
"to stand in front of the mirror and actually think something negative as your hand is reaching the mirror because your brain's not programmed to do that so when you high-five somebody what are what do..."
The Power of Self-Affirmation
Mel Robbins discusses the transformative impact of the high five habit, emphasizing the importance of self-affirmation and connection with oneself. She reflects on how many people spend their lives seeking validation from others, while the true power lies in recognizing and loving oneself. This segment highlights the profound changes that can occur when individuals learn to support and affirm themselves.
"do you see a difference when you between doing it with yourself and doing it with someone else oh it's not well it's night and day in that you've been cheering for everybody else your whole life and w..."
Breaking the Cycle of Self-Judgment
In this segment, Mel Robbins explores the detrimental effects of self-judgment and the importance of self-compassion. She draws parallels between how we treat loved ones and how we often neglect to show the same kindness to ourselves. Robbins emphasizes that learning to accept and love oneself is crucial for overcoming feelings of inadequacy and imposter syndrome.
"days we've had 136 000 people complete it from 91 countries not a single person because we're tracking all the data on it has said it didn't work not a single person we have people writing to us about..."
Building Self-Respect Through Action
Mel Robbins explains how self-respect is built through actions rather than mere affirmations. She encourages listeners to demonstrate self-acceptance and self-love through tangible actions, which can lead to a more positive self-image. This segment underscores the importance of taking steps that align with one's self-worth to foster a healthier relationship with oneself.
"it's wonderful if they do but the fantastic thing is if you actually like yourself if you just accept where you are you stop judging yourself you accept yourself with some compassion what's extraordin..."
The Myth of Positive Mantras
In this insightful segment, Mel Robbins critiques the effectiveness of positive mantras, arguing that they often fail because people do not believe them. She discusses the importance of choosing affirmations that resonate with one's current reality and emphasizes the need for actionable steps to support personal growth. Robbins highlights that belief must be grounded in evidence and realistic expectations.
"their if you can't see this i'm holding in my hand if you're listening on spotify or apple this is one of their renewable energy products if you're watching on youtube you'll you'll see this this is c..."
Manifestation as a Process
Mel Robbins redefines manifestation, presenting it as a process that requires actionable steps rather than mere visualization. She illustrates this concept using the example of training for a marathon, emphasizing that achieving goals involves hard work and commitment. This segment encourages listeners to focus on the practical steps necessary to bridge the gap between dreams and reality.
"accelerator i would just be in my garage all day like i understand the importance of knowing where you're going which is the sat nav but i also have to drive or else we're not going to move yeah so um..."
Trusting the Journey of Life
In this reflective segment, Mel Robbins shares her insights on the importance of trusting the journey of life. She discusses how past experiences, even challenging ones, contribute to personal growth and understanding. Robbins encourages listeners to embrace their current moments as essential parts of their life journey, reinforcing the idea that every experience shapes who we become.
"example is a marathon so let's say that you've never run a day in your life but your bucket list is to complete the london marathon yes you can put on your vision board a photograph of a runner crossi..."
The Importance of Future Goals
In this insightful discussion, Mel highlights the necessity of having future goals to combat feelings of stagnation. She suggests that engaging in new learning experiences or changing routines can reignite a sense of purpose and movement in life, helping individuals feel empowered to make necessary changes.
"and when you believe that it gives you the strength to face absolutely anything when you look back on the person you are now and the tremendous wisdom that you've just demonstrated just speaking to me..."
Purpose and the Human Experience
Mel Robbins shares her perspective on purpose, asserting that everyone's purpose is to share their true selves. She discusses how being seen and recognized is fundamental to feeling safe and whole, and how this need is often unmet in childhood, leading to feelings of invisibility in adulthood.
"yeah interesting see being stuck is one of the most universal feelings of the human experience and nobody understands what it is what is it oh it's amazing when you hear this it's like so remember how..."
The Need for Connection
In this segment, Mel emphasizes the importance of being seen, heard, and celebrated as essential emotional needs for psychological safety. She explains how many individuals feel disconnected and unloved, and how fulfilling these needs can lead to a more empowered and fulfilling life.
"that your body sends you hunger when you need water what is the signal when you need um uh air yeah you catching your breath when you need rest what do you feel that's right when you need connection w..."
The Role of Purpose in Overcoming Stagnation
Mel discusses the psychological disorientation that occurs when individuals lack purpose in their lives. She connects this feeling to the absence of future ambitions and emphasizes the importance of setting goals to regain a sense of direction and motivation.
"or taking a class where you're learning something or changing a routine so that you try a new class at the gym learning anything gets you back in touch with a fundamental need it makes you start to fe..."
Empowerment Through Self-Recognition
Mel Robbins reflects on the journey of self-empowerment, explaining that recognizing and accepting oneself is crucial for sharing one's true self with the world. She discusses how this process fosters connection and allows individuals to contribute their unique stories and experiences.
"going forward when humans don't have that forward ambition or that thing to look forward to in the future and their current situation lacks purpose they become very um psychologically disorientated th..."
Survival and the Need to Be Seen
In this thought-provoking segment, Mel connects the need to be seen to survival instincts from our ancestral past. She explains how being part of a group was essential for safety, and how this historical context informs our modern emotional needs for connection and recognition.
"and when you start to feel empowered and you start to see yourself and meet you where you are what happens is every day that you're able to stand with yourself to accept where you are to give yourself..."
The Impact of Childhood Experiences
Mel discusses how childhood experiences shape our feelings of visibility and connection. She highlights the importance of being celebrated for our uniqueness and how unmet emotional needs during childhood can lead to feelings of invisibility in adulthood.
"you know my ancestral beings the the idea of being seen when i was you know my ancestors 10 000 years ago what kind of role does that play in from a survival perspective well i i mean i'm freestyling ..."
Regrets and Personal Growth
In this reflective segment, Mel addresses the concept of regret and how it relates to personal growth. She shares her belief that every experience, even painful ones, contributes to our understanding of ourselves and others, ultimately shaping our capacity for empathy and connection.
"they are done with childhood as they feel invisible they feel like nobody gets them and they feel completely disconnected and unloved or not celebrated it makes a ton of sense yeah so i did okay on th..."
The Complexity of Human Behavior
Mel Robbins explores the complexities of human behavior, discussing how well-meaning individuals can act out of character when feeling low. She emphasizes the importance of understanding these behaviors in the context of personal struggles and the journey toward self-acceptance.
"google he talked about the eraser test he said even people that have gone through profound trauma when asked the question if they were to raise the trauma 99 said no because of the domino effect you d..."
The Foundation of Self-Relationship
In this segment, Mel highlights the significance of one's relationship with oneself as the foundation for all aspects of life. She discusses how self-perception influences behavior and the importance of cultivating a positive self-image to foster good actions.
"wouldn't fully believe that and you might do that again i guess had you not done it once yeah yeah or twice or three times or four times like first you gotta wake up you know and then there's all the ..."
Relatability in Struggles
Mel shares her relatable struggles, emphasizing that she does not have everything figured out. She discusses her recent experiences with disappointment and how she processes these feelings, reinforcing the idea that everyone faces challenges and that sharing these experiences can foster connection.
"you help hundreds of millions of people um combined um which is do you still struggle with all of the [ __ ] you talk about oh my god like yes that's why i'm so [ __ ] relatable i do not have this stu..."
Navigating Disappointment
In this candid discussion, Mel recounts a recent disappointment regarding her audiobook's recognition. She shares how this triggered old feelings of inadequacy and emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and processing emotions rather than suppressing them.
"and um which is why i need to get into nfts because my i don't like it when somebody else has control i as an artist want to own what i do as a businesswoman nothing pisses me off more than getting in..."
The Importance of Emotional Expression
Mel Robbins discusses the necessity of allowing oneself to feel a range of emotions, including disappointment and grief. She emphasizes that experiencing these feelings is crucial for emotional health and encourages listeners to embrace their emotions while also finding ways to move forward.
"and so you know i uh self-publish the audiobook i have a tremendous partnership with audible where we create a lot of original content for them behind their paywall and i self-published this book and ..."
Shortening the Cycle of Down Time
In this segment, Mel shares strategies for shortening the duration of negative feelings. She discusses the importance of recognizing emotions and finding ways to process them effectively, allowing individuals to bounce back more quickly from setbacks.
"i went right back to the experience of being a ninth grader on the tennis team and having the seniors throw a party and i was the only ninth grader who wasn't involved and so it triggered a very old p..."
The Five-Second Rule in Action
Mel introduces her 'Five-Second Rule' as a practical tool for overcoming hesitation and taking action. She explains how this technique can help individuals break free from negative thought patterns and empower them to make positive changes in their lives.
"people we are all so the same and the more that you know i kind of share the ups and downs i think the more people listen to the things that are working and try them out and tweak them for their own l..."
The Power of Self-Belief
Mel shares her mantra of self-belief, refusing to accept that hard work and goodness won't lead to positive outcomes. She reflects on the importance of focusing on personal growth and understanding that challenges are temporary. This mindset shift allows her to navigate life's difficulties with confidence, knowing that her efforts will eventually be rewarded.
"you stay down and what always helps me it's something that you know i i developed when the high five the five second rule launch was coming off the rails as i just kept saying what i what i've said a ..."
Finding Your Own Path
In this insightful moment, Mel Robbins discusses the importance of not seeking validation from traditional institutions. She encourages listeners to focus on making a real impact on those who need help, rather than worrying about external recognition. This perspective shift is vital for anyone looking to create meaningful change in their lives and the lives of others.
"rewarded that's amazing it's an amazing feeling because you can pick yourself up no matter what happens well thank god you do share it because you know you're a very special human being and there's ve..."
Overcoming Anxiety and Trauma
Mel reflects on her journey of overcoming anxiety and trauma, describing the feeling of being constantly on edge. She shares her experiences with therapy and healing practices that helped her regain control over her life. This segment highlights the importance of understanding one's emotional state and the tools available to foster a sense of safety and well-being.
"can hear it for the first time in my life i can hear it and you've also given me this like extraordinary insight that i just got um so you asked me in the beginning kind of what is it that that create..."
Commitment to Change
In this powerful conclusion, Mel Robbins emphasizes her commitment to not living in a state of anxiety and dysregulation any longer. She discusses the tools she has developed to manage her emotions and face life's challenges with confidence. This commitment to personal growth and emotional health is a central theme in her journey toward a happier life.
"it in my nervous system first through emdr through therapy through guided mdma sessions i finally had the experience of being in my body and being safe and being okay and i hadn't had that in a really..."
Inspiring Others Through Vulnerability
Mel Robbins expresses gratitude for the opportunity to share her journey and insights, recognizing the impact her story can have on others. She reflects on her unique ability to communicate complex emotional experiences in a relatable way, inspiring listeners to confront their own challenges. This segment underscores the importance of vulnerability in fostering connection and healing.
"now do i have things that happen in my life that are tough that that put me into a mode where i'm anxious and on edge and of course do i disassociate when i get really awful of course but i now have t..."