"you've made a great decision and i say this as impartially as i possibly can but this podcast is it's really the reason why i started the diver ceo it's to hear these kinds of stories from these kinds..."

"then please keep this to yourself [Music] sometimes in life you have these unbelievable somewhat cruel coincidences that occur that it's hard to make sense of and last time you came on this podcast i ..."

"about what you said and it gave the whole team in the room who overheard our conversation goosebumps as well so after our 30-minute conversation about marriage monogamy and cheating and love what did ..."

"i felt like i lost a lot you know i'd lost my wife i'd lost the life we created i'd lost the dog our home her my parents-in-law her family everything that really held dear if someone said what makes a..."

"and when i played it back um after you told me so we come off air we stood next to the table and the microphones and you you explained to me what's happened yeah i'm first time in my life completely s..."

"streaming and i felt that sense of loss and overwhelming sadness it was a remarkable moment where in that instant and i can only describe it as a whisper i heard a whisper within me as if it was reson..."

"as though the experience the thoughts the emotions are are something that i can almost take it back on and have perspective and i can see it and i can feel it but i know that my thoughts that isn't ju..."

"and and i was just so in that habit and that was the toughest thing to let go of the thing that i still struggle with today and i'm still it's the one part that i realized the other day that i still h..."

"you're living outside your body a little bit i guess that's what self-awareness is or at least emotional awareness awarenesses because you're being able to see that situation which is utterly horrific..."

"experience grief in many forms and this somewhat feels like this the central emotion you described as a loss it feels like a form of grief yeah what was your process for moving from you know finding o..."

"cried so much because there was so much sadness did you write down the emotions you're experiencing so i didn't write down the emotions but what i did in the next step is so the first step was awarene..."

"and i'd also write any i'd write down reminders of of what had happened and i also wrote down any insights i had about the situation that i could remind myself of and i wrote down how i wanted to hand..."

"loving and that's another thing that actually the deepest moments of suffering can actually be opportunities for growth even if you don't want it there's something there that that you can learn and ca..."

"my mental paradigm i have this um before please do keep your phone open because i want to hear the rest of this all right but i have this um analogy i make in moments where i experience a very similar..."

"because if they crash the plane i'm [ __ ] and so yeah what i wanted to do was lose my integrity yeah i wanted to crash the plane i wanted to get her back take revenge tell her she's a this this and t..."

"cockpit i did nothing i didn't punish her in any way didn't even mention it and it was and so yeah um but please two things come to me there uh one is this uh emotion of anger so fascinatingly nine to..."

"and the other part of it is that because i don't want to come across like a saint like i didn't have dark thoughts or you know i wasn't angry and i just handled it with grace the entire time but i ope..."

"and i'd run along the beach and i had this process where i would say out loud i would imagine her and i would say i forgive you i'm sending you my love and i wish you all the best for the future and i..."

"and i'm like and i would say and i'm sending you my love i don't wish you all for the future but you're still imagining pulling up in that van and jumping out and blindfolding [Music] and so but i wou..."

"and it's a bit like that saying my yoke is easy my burden is light now genuinely it sounds strange but i don't really feel anything for them it's almost as if you know if you came to me and said um i'..."

"and i think you know even you're someone that has a remarkable ability to practice like self-awareness and you know you have that sort of like emotional awareness as well and it's good to hear i think..."

"point that you've made through the story you've told absolutely and each person's journey will be unique and there will be peaks and troughs and it'll wax and wane and i'm very aware that it's possibl..."

"15 years isn't it weird that life sent you this challenge yeah when you think about your experience isn't it it must be a part of you that because i think i would i would think to myself life is testi..."

"make terrible decisions oh you crashed the plane oh we crashed plane if you look at nasa um astronauts they prepare for uh the sequence of events leading up to launch and they run through that over a ..."

"relationship with someone else where you feel like there's a shift or you wake up one day and you're in a space where you don't know how you got there where you become like best friends living togethe..."

"wholly inadequate it's it's a fabrication and at some stage we began to see ourselves as special and unique and above nature and exempt from our [Music] primal history because we descended from hypers..."

"we had then we had land we had uh domesticated animals and for the first time private property came into play and suddenly there was a change and there's even a change in the status of women because w..."

"had a very different meaning across the ages in the um fifth century with anglo-saxons it was about securing trade ties it was a diplomatic tool in the 11th century marriage was about financial econom..."

"that it is beginning to crumble and they don't even take a cultural lens yeah and if i'm talking too much just no it's fascinating super fascinating so culturally um the spanish word esposas means wif..."

"to victims of sexual abuse a fifth were under the age of five and these aren't that's not to mention the forgotten victims and we have to ask yourself one how did we get here two how was that story co..."

"book a long time ago called the mystery method um by one of the world's number one pickup artist and i don't know if this is true but what he was saying was men are programmed in a way that seeks um t..."

"got them eight months pregnant and then bounced yeah and and i don't know how true that is yeah it's something that i've believed because i've read this book for some time so that's the dominant tradi..."

"group that keeps you alive anyway and so it's very possible that then there was a shift which happened actually with this advent of private property because that's whenever eternity would matter becau..."

"been a huge part of my life for about four years i first started drinking huel four years ago when i first moved to new york and i was running social chain and the reason i did was because i was frequ..."

"so i thank you and um every week on the podcast i'm going to talk about different things to do with huel to do with time saving to do with diet and nutrition and of course we're going to get julian ba..."

"some of my central values did that happen to you in your marriage where you became more like her it's incredible that you ask that whenever we first met she was the sensible one she was very prudent v..."

"more like her i became became safer and i actually lost an intrinsic part of who i was i lost the the wild child that's in me i lost the part that's a bit more dangerous it's a bit more risky that it ..."

"20 years will i ever get that chemistry or that connection back what if it never comes back and when we're afraid we're then seeking that that part of ourselves that we've lost and so it's almost less..."

"i change and that song that's something which i've learned from i've cha i changed and i became like a squeaky clean version of me and and she ironically ended up turning towards what she'd lost that'..."

"on multiple levels and we and and it did we had a wonderful um time together for for eight years but it's a little bit like putting a frog in boiling water it was in cold water and the desire is the f..."

"understanding that you formed your relationship on the basis of this person being like this and then but then you say okay so over time people change and in fact in the last podcast we did there's a q..."

"so it was interesting what you said there about um space being the air to a flame right yeah and for me that's so critical earlier on when you're talking about marriage yeah one of the factors you you..."

"relationship with my romantic partner in the same way that i treat my relationship with my best friend my best friend seems to get on perfectly well and we and i can't see a divorce ever coming you kn..."

"an emotional need that they're trying to meet through the marriage that they think their marriage will provide the solution to but like you're saying it doesn't well it can but it might not and so wha..."

"which is exactly back to like the fundamental yeah yeah which is how yeah yeah and which is what i said before is what i love about your mind because you take it back to your first principles and then..."

"work against me and i swear to god this isn't i'll tell you if it was hindsight [ __ ] i was thinking that i've got this vivid memory of my first day at university and my last um of looking over and t..."

"registered for university either like as i was meant to so i didn't really have to defer and that was it and you know i wanna i wanna move on because you spent a lot long time talking about this topic..."

"his father uh just had a stroke a couple of days ago and they now know the outcome is he won't be around 10 days goes walking in in south ken and five minutes after i passed and was coming back there ..."

"but then on another level that wasn't the end to the story and then it was as if life said you're on this path and i'm going to shunt you into a new trajectory and that's the path you're meant to be o..."

"and what kind of services do you offer people that are going through you know various predicaments so i do one-to-one coaching so right now everything's done digitally but essentially it's identifying..."