" What makes me good at my job is also what makes me bad at life. This is maybe more than you bargain for Louis do. Our next guest has interviewed everyone. Amani Chicken. It's a cathedral of poor. Tha..."

"The price was paid by those nearest and dearest to me. When did you get that feedback? I saw my relationships as a life support system for my kind of work self instead of the other way around saying t..."

"through your story, I read your autobiography as well. I was trying to understand what I needed to understand about your earliest experiences to really understand the man that you are today. Mm-hmm. ...."

"own parents as being in certain respects of limited and cloistered. And, and, and so my mom joined, uh, VSO volunteer service overseas to get experience of life in Africa. My dad joined the Peace Corp..."

"way. Looking back on it, that's something that I see and pick up on. My dad's a writer, a novelist. My mom is a, you know, after teaching, uh, my dad became a very successful literary novelist and tra..."

"That's a great idea for a book. You know, that kind of thing. Anyway, so that all of that was under underlying my attitude to life than they sent me off to, um, school, primary school. I'm gonna have ..."

"some of the more, cuz I was academic. I was, I was, I did really well at school. I feel I could just go on and on. Should I go? Should I keep going? I just listen here. Cause the other part of it was ..."

"feeling of worry and anxiety was quite a strong background note. And sometimes I would control my anxiety, not consciously, but again looking back by working hard, like by, by by sort of just sort of ..."

"Anyway, going through school, I, I sort of, Sort the, the load stars for my, um, so sense of who I was and how I would progress in life, such as it is. I mean, I was never that tactical, but as I went..."

"different, um, those different, uh, sort of sources of, of how I, you know, whatever it's personality and interests. One of the things that really stood out to me in that answer was your, your early r..."

"then you just sit down and do them, um, until you get it right. And, and you know, a lot of these things are. Aren't are subconscious. Like I'm not thinking like, oh, how can I control my anxiety? But..."

"Probably , you know, and like, so, so I, I, I had a sort of rambunctious side and almost in social settings, my mum tells a story essentially in my book, but of, of how, when I was about five or six, ..."

"and, and he, he's an extra. I wanted to give both my parents a shout out. See, I'm, my parents were, um, were basically first generation university educated, came from very much not at the high table ..."

"listen to this probably cuz he, he follows my, he follows my career with interest. So some of that I would've taken on board just through osmosis of seeing that. Likewise, um, my mom being super studi..."

"And the other thing just to reflect on is that I saw my brother as the more brilliant child like he was to, to, the way I saw it at the time was more effortlessly. Brilliant, like sort of child prodig..."

"I read in, into your story of university was that I wrote, I actually wrote in my notes, worked his ass off at Oxford on the point of affection. This is also something I probably didn't learn from my ..."

"on Yeah, exactly. But, but what, what is, what did you learn about affection at a young age? I, I feel really lucky that my parents, um, I feel as though they were, you know, they, they worked hard. L..."

"Like I remember friends at school saying, well, my. . My parents say if I do well in common entrance, they're gonna get me a watch. And I remember thinking, that's quite weird, you know, or my, my par..."

"expressed. But my, uh, we, we shared a sense of humor as, as a family. And so we would make each other laugh. And so teasing was important. Wouldn't, it'll, um, just not taking yourself too seriously...."

"Or other times you'd be like, how dare you, you're going out there, you know, what, what are you doing? Like, it was like, well, which part of the, are we being, are you being counter-cultural kind of..."

"again, that can be, I, I kind of quite grateful in some ways for that, but. You know, they had their own thing going on. It reminds me of something Tim Grover said, which I've repeated a few times. He..."

"become your own person and not feel that you're especially kicking against. Anything but licensed to follow your own interest. I think that's all positive. I think, um, uh, what is the look? I think i..."

"I don't always find intimacy easy. Like it's, it, it, it's so, so, so I sort of, I, I experience like a lot of the times my work. Is a license to be intimate without consequences. Like to get to, to a..."

"not, you know, some people are really gifted at friendship. Oh God. They like really get, they're there and they think about and they make arrangements. And I don't make really, I'm, I'm not very good..."

"So I plead guilty to whatever that is. Maybe that's just being a man I can, I can relate to. It's funny, I was having this conversation yesterday with my friends where they were all saying, yeah, Stev..."

"This is gonna be a night. I remember my whole life, you know, and I attempted to adjust my mindset, you know, using kind of Paul McKenna like, or Uri like, you know, just visual. Like, think about wha..."

"aspired to do. And it sounds really, you know, the whole notion of it feels, um, intimidating and, and, and just a bad fit. And, and nevertheless, I knew that, you know, just briefly, like I was worki..."

"my own mind. But the idea of writing in television was, was less, I felt would set, would, wouldn't invite the same comparisons. Plus, I used to watch TV and I like tv and there was something about th..."

"I do my best. Connecting sounds a bit weird. Yeah. Face to face. I mean, maybe at one level, but in the end I think I was just trying to do good work and get approval. Like maybe more than connection,..."

"I got a, I got a series out at the moment. This isn't my attempt to segue into the promotional portion of this interview, but nevertheless, here we are. I got a, um, I've got a series out at the momen..."

"a review, great review in the Times, just sort of pointing all the things about it that I knew to be really, really good. It was sort of the perfect review, you know, rave saying like, this is fresh, ..."

"But I suppose to, to your point, um, or, you know, in all the kind of work in the work I do is not like, is it an urge to connect? Like it's an urge to do good work, and then it's nice for that to be ..."

"probably true. And also I think in my world, if I'm gonna talk about stuff, you know, we, there's a troll in all of us, right. And, and, and in general it's more enjoyable to talk about stuff and dunk..."

"format, you know, that allowed for. Elements of, um, actuality just being silly, having fun or being in live settings where the unexpected could happen, but also bits of, um, uh, conversation that wou..."

"that was free spirited and naughty, and that was bunking off school and seeing movies and, and, um, or, or getting me in trouble and, and, and, Whatever that is, and it's hard to really bottle it and ..."

"And that's positive, you know, it means like, I love spending time with people who feel like they give free reign to the darkest, weirdest impulses that I think to an extent we all share, but keep rep..."

"I'm sure most of your listeners probably have their own, although many of them, not most, but many of them will have their own companies or will be fully cognizant of what it takes to make it in the s..."

"can put that on my, you put that on my gravestone? The anate. So I'm like, I don't give a fuck about your Bugatti. I think it's embarrassing that you have one. No offense if you, no, I don't. I don't ..."

"And I was like, oh, I guess I just, I'm fine doing my, I'm a creature of habit, you know, that was sort of what, I'm just sort fine. I don't wanna mess around with it. And then having done it three or..."

"I can say habit, maybe of comfort as well, although, you know, but habit is really what I meant. Yeah. Creature of habit. Cause I, cause I was reading about when you made that transition from being a ..."

"And, um, and in general, fear, which you would equate with unhappiness can very often be what ends up creating the conditions for real achievement. And I, I, I, I, I remember sitting on this plane hav..."

"from reality that I didn't think like, well, it's a huge opportunity. Like my, and my, my girlfriend at the time was very supportive and was like, you know, you, you should, you, you can do this Louis..."

"So I try and ring fence my commitment levels, but that's not easy. So, but in a, in a positive way, um, that sense of like feeling like I need to show up, having agreed to do it, having been offered a..."

"or go to a mental hospital or go to a, um, a brothel, like I made a film about a brothel and just hang out there for two or three weeks and just be afl. That, that to me is, it sounds awful, but that'..."

"questions. No, no. I'm fine with it. Okay. Like, cuz I feel as though I can analyze it. Um, With the benefit of 25 years of doing it. I think it's something to do with like a little bit of intelligenc..."

"in my metaphor a bit, but I think in the end it's like those different qualities of, of, of, of it's, it's that compliment of qualities and then just luck. But I don't think luck really is a quality, ..."

"about, well, that wasn't even about, I mean, I do care about the work. I mean, work is a big source of pleasure. Like in the sense of either being on location and, um, being aware of it going well and..."

"with, uh, well my own happiness. How do you connect with people? So actually I wanted to ask you this for my own sort of learning. You've done this for multiple decades. You've sat with people from ev..."

"I think you have a feeling of, um, of just, just wanting to know why people do the things that they do. Right. And, and, and sort of getting out of your own way a bit, you know, in the sense, cause th..."

"so interesting. Cause I just think in life generally, those who like seek to un, even in our personal relationships and romantic relationships, those that seek to understand, tend to build bridges. Bu..."

"people I'm, I'm interested in people who are genuinely attempt, who feel like they've got something figured out or, or, or are involved in a, in a world or a lifestyle or just some situation that is, ..."

"going on. You know, if, if people see like, You are attempting to wrestle intimacies from them, that's never gonna go well. You just create the space and the sense of, of understanding and allow them ..."

"you should check that with Nancy. Uh, cause, well, I'm slightly reviewing my own restaurant if I can use that metaphor. Um, and um, but yeah, on good reads, I gave my book a five out of five and, and ..."

"his own deceptions. I, I'm mangling that quotation. But the idea that in order to con someone, you sort of have to believe the most effective con artist is the one who believes their own con, you know..."

"When did you get that feedback? Cause I remember the times in my life where I've got that feedback from friends, family, romantic partners, and at first, sometimes we sometimes argue against it. We, o..."

"my twenties and thirties, I saw my relationships as a, um, I think, I think the other phrase I use is, is like I saw my relationships as sort of life support system for my kinda work self. Do you know..."

"the same thing, sort of saying to my wife, well this is what I do. There's a chapter in my book called This is What I Do. You know, you knew when we married that we would be, um, that I was a sort of ..."

"Us to get help. I said, you, she said, well, I said, I said, you can do whatever you wanna do. You, you can carry on working five days a week, six days. You can travel as well if you want. We just nee..."

"beneficial. That's exactly what I used to think it was. I used to think it was the enemy of my professional success, but I've come to learn that it may be the friend. It's the, yeah, it serves it. Um,..."

"know, not to sound really bland about it, I feel as though I've, um, you know, through, through sort of my wife's so perceptiveness and her ability to sort of see how, how just so involved me in life ..."

"for coming and doing this. Pleasure. Quick one. Right now, one of my sponsors on this podcast who I absolutely adore, crafted the men's jewelry brand, are having a sale right now up to 70% off a brand..."