All Segments
Rochelle Humes: Learning To Be At Peace With Uncertainty | E118
51 segments available
This weeks episode entitled 'Learning To Be At Peace With Uncertainty’ Topics: 0:00 Intro 02:17 Your early years 03:38 Your Dad & your family 19:45 The Saturdays 32:03 Starting your business - My Little Coco 52:35 Black maternity scandal 01:13:35 Relationships 01:22:53 Fiver year plan and deciding to manage yourself 01:27:40 Making tough decisions 01:32:46 The last guests question Rochelle: https://www.instagram.com/rochellehumes My Little Coco (Rochelle's Business): https://mylittlecoco.co.uk Listen on: Apple podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-diary-of-a-ceo-by-steven-bartlett/id1291423644 Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/7iQXmUT7XGuZSzAMjoNWlX FOLLOW ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/steven/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/SteveBartlettSC Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steven-bartlett-56986834/ Sponsor - https://uk.huel.com/
Segments Timeline
Embracing Acceptance
Rochelle Humes discusses the liberating power of acceptance in her life. She reflects on how acknowledging her past and the absence of her father has allowed her to move forward without holding onto resentment. This segment emphasizes the importance of letting go of things we cannot change and finding peace in acceptance.
"i just got to a point where i thought it's time to empower myself and you know what some of this is your fault because you've said something you'd met someone yeah you spoke to i can't 51 that it's be..."
The Impact of Childhood
Rochelle shares insights about her childhood, particularly the absence of her father and how it shaped her identity. She recounts her mother's efforts to protect her from negative feelings about her dad, highlighting the complexities of familial relationships and the curiosity that comes with growing up without a father figure.
"so without further ado i'm stephen bartlett and this is the diary of a ceo i hope nobody's listening but if you are then please keep this to yourself [Music] just me and mama i was reading um about th..."
Searching for Answers
In this segment, Rochelle reflects on her quest to understand her father's absence. She discusses the emotional turmoil of seeking answers and the realization that sometimes those answers may not provide the closure one hopes for. This exploration reveals her growth and the wisdom gained through her experiences.
"i am i had a a relative show up one day when i was maybe 12 right and they claimed to be my uncle they just walked into the shop and they claimed to be my uncle and they presented evidence which was r..."
Forgiveness and Freedom
Rochelle talks about the concept of forgiveness and how it relates to her father's absence. She emphasizes that forgiving does not mean forgetting, but rather freeing oneself from the burden of resentment. This segment highlights the transformative power of forgiveness in achieving personal peace.
"dad was being a parent was because i was then a parent and besotted and in love and lived live my life for my kids so i think the respect was here but it was in the basement when i had my own you know..."
The Weight of Expectations
Rochelle discusses the societal expectations surrounding family dynamics and the pressure to maintain perfect relationships. She reflects on how these expectations can lead to self-harm and unhappiness, advocating for the importance of prioritizing one's well-being over familial obligations.
"know what it's like it's important to say that so everything you talk about or assume of the situation comes from a place of like total naivety um like if i'm if i met my dad and he wasn't around i wo..."
Finding New Connections
In this segment, Rochelle shares her experience of reconnecting with her half-siblings and the joy that came from building new relationships. She emphasizes the importance of letting go of past grievances to embrace new connections that enrich her life.
"yeah i think i do i don't i'm like that as a person i don't hold on and i think if there was something in life that i would hold on to it'd be something like this right because i would have the right ..."
The Gift of Family
Rochelle reflects on the significance of her newfound relationships with her siblings. She discusses how these connections have become vital in her life, illustrating the beauty of family bonds that can emerge even from complex and painful histories.
"on that day when you you discovered his his other life his his life as it is you also discovered um two is it half sisters is that what it's called i have no idea i don't even know what an uncle is th..."
Navigating Family Dynamics
Rochelle and Stephen discuss the challenges of navigating family dynamics, particularly when they don't meet societal expectations. Rochelle emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing mental health over toxic relationships, advocating for self-care in familial contexts.
"he randomly come up to me i've never met him before prior to this never met him i was like nice to meet you and he was asking me about the management and was like do you enjoy and i'm like yeah they'r..."
Redefining Family
In the concluding segment, Rochelle shares her journey of redefining what family means to her. She reflects on the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive individuals, regardless of biological ties, and the liberation that comes from letting go of toxic relationships.
"it was the norm and it was weird like i was like my brother going you look like my eldest daughter like you know just jeans are really mad and like she's super tall so i'm like she must get her height..."
Redefining Family Expectations
In this segment, Rochelle reflects on the unrealistic expectations society places on family dynamics. She shares her personal experiences of feeling embarrassed about her family's appearance and the pressure to conform to an idealized version of family life, ultimately realizing that love and connection matter more than perfection.
"you don't get a free pass like if you're going to be toxic and you're going to be an [ __ ] to me goodbye [ __ ] like i don't care if we have the same you know i mean and yeah that's not a narrative p..."
The Complexity of Family Dynamics
Rochelle opens up about her mixed family background and the challenges of navigating identity and belonging. She discusses how her family's diversity shaped her perspective and the importance of recognizing that every family has its unique struggles and strengths.
"different elements of my life but yeah i always want to speak about it and be open because your family doesn't have to look like i met marvin and his mum and dad have been married like 40 odd years an..."
The Joys and Challenges of The Saturdays
Reflecting on her time with The Saturdays, Rochelle shares fond memories of being part of the girl band. She highlights the camaraderie among the members and the unique challenges they faced, contrasting their experience with other bands and emphasizing the importance of mutual respect and support.
"perfect time in my life like i was a young girl in well i think when i joined the group i was like obviously it took a while for us to launch so i think i was 18 when we formed and what young girl doe..."
The Pressure of Fame
Rochelle discusses the pressures that come with being in the public eye, particularly for girl bands. She contrasts her experience with that of boy bands, highlighting the different expectations and scrutiny they face, and reflects on how fame can impact personal well-being.
"here from one direction before he arrived i would have said the same what young guy wouldn't have wanted to be in one direction but then when he described how turbulent that experience was and being a..."
Navigating Success and Personal Life
In this segment, Rochelle talks about the balance between her career and personal life. She shares insights on the challenges of being in a band while managing personal responsibilities and the importance of prioritizing well-being over public expectations.
"our we didn't burst onto the scene right so like we weren't like jealous or like one direction who went on x factor in its prime and gained this overnight momentum and girls overnight want to wait out..."
The Transition from Band Life to Motherhood
Rochelle reflects on her transition from being part of The Saturdays to becoming a mother and entrepreneur. She discusses the shift in priorities and how her experiences in the band shaped her approach to family life and business.
"it for everybody else like i had a layer and i came back to work three and a half weeks later and performed on national television like with spanx up to my neck to try and hold in the belly and like t..."
Embracing Change and Moving Forward
Rochelle shares her thoughts on the possibility of a reunion with The Saturdays. She expresses contentment with her current life and the changes that come with motherhood and entrepreneurship, emphasizing the importance of embracing new chapters while cherishing past experiences.
"yeah exactly i'm like you know and that's that became everything and owner had already had a little one too before i had a layer but it just yeah there's a there's a switch isn't there and you start t..."
The Journey of My Little Coco
Rochelle discusses the inception of her business, My Little Coco, which she started during the pandemic. She emphasizes her commitment to creating a brand that prioritizes gentle, family-friendly products, reflecting her values as a mother. This segment showcases her entrepreneurial spirit and the challenges of launching a business in uncertain times.
"but yeah i'm just not there in my life anymore and that isn't there's no that's not bad mind as me and my friends would say it's just not yeah not for me now i've had so many people tag me on instagra..."
Building a Brand with Purpose
In this segment, Rochelle elaborates on her vision for My Little Coco, focusing on the need for quality products for children, especially those with curly or afro hair. She discusses the challenges she faced in getting retailers to recognize the importance of diversity in product offerings, highlighting her determination to create a brand that meets the needs of all families.
"where i'm moving at such pace look i don't want to labor the point but if you haven't tried you'll give it a try and if you do tag me instagram wherever you try it give me a tag anyway back to the pod..."
Navigating Retail Challenges
Rochelle shares her experiences pitching her product line to retailers, including the skepticism she faced as a celebrity entrepreneur. She reflects on the importance of persistence and staying true to her brand values, especially in a market that often overlooks the needs of diverse consumers. This segment underscores the complexities of merging celebrity status with genuine business intentions.
"so the journey began and i didn't want this to be a flash in the pan thing i didn't want this to be baby by rochelle humes this wasn't about me right this was about me building a brand from the ground..."
The Reality of Entrepreneurship
Rochelle candidly discusses the all-consuming nature of running her own business. She emphasizes the hard work and dedication required to succeed, dispelling the myth that entrepreneurship is a path to freedom. This segment serves as a reality check for aspiring entrepreneurs, highlighting the commitment needed to build a successful brand.
"testing which rightly so um so it took a while it took three years in you know for before the pandemic hit and it was in store it was three years work prior to that and i'm never happy with something ..."
The Importance of Graft
In this segment, Rochelle reflects on the hustle and work ethic necessary for success in business. She shares her concerns about instilling the same values in her children, emphasizing the importance of hard work and commitment. This discussion highlights the generational differences in attitudes toward work and success.
"that to you or was that kind of implied yeah i mean they said it without saying it as bluntly as i did yeah it was it was yeah definitely implied so then so i was going for a whole thing and there was..."
Staying True to Your Strengths
Rochelle talks about the importance of recognizing one's strengths and passions in life and career. She shares her decision to focus on media and television rather than pursuing a solo music career, illustrating the significance of aligning one's work with personal interests. This segment encourages listeners to pursue paths that resonate with their true selves.
"there's not really i don't think there's a need and i'm like there's no need for a product for people with curly or afro hair sorry what so i there was a bit of a struggle and then i had this meeting ..."
Avoiding Short-Term Regrets
Rochelle discusses the pitfalls of following opportunities without passion, sharing her experiences with brand work that didn't align with her interests. She emphasizes the importance of making thoughtful decisions that lead to long-term fulfillment rather than short-term gains. This segment serves as a reminder to prioritize personal values in career choices.
"bothered oh my gosh it's all-consuming and i think if you're gonna start a business you have to know that don't think you're going to turn your phone off at five because that's not a thing it's not a ..."
Finding My Path After The Band
Rochelle Humes reflects on her transition from being part of a band to pursuing a solo career. She discusses her strengths in media and television, emphasizing the importance of following one's passion rather than just opportunities. Rochelle shares her journey of self-discovery and the realization that financial stability allows her to be more selective in her career choices.
"why are we gonna do that the same way when i left the group everyone was like you're gonna release a solo album i work well in a band i know my strengths i'm not you know i'm not beyonce i mean i'd lo..."
The Importance of Passion Over Opportunity
In this segment, Rochelle discusses the significance of aligning career choices with personal passion rather than merely following opportunities. She shares a story about a woman who became an accountant despite not caring for math, highlighting the risks of making decisions based solely on financial incentives. Rochelle emphasizes the need for introspection to ensure that one's career path is fulfilling.
"opportunity so she was good at let's say maths so she found herself at 35 as being this accountant but she actually never cared about maths she didn't care about being an accountant she got dragged by..."
Choosing the Right Opportunities
Rochelle talks about her evolving approach to career opportunities, emphasizing the importance of saying 'no' to projects that don't resonate with her values. She shares her mental checklist for evaluating potential projects, ensuring they align with her passions and beliefs. This shift in mindset has allowed her to focus on what truly matters in her career.
"next deal might come in and do you know even more so in the last sort of 18 months if i and this is with everything it's now i'm so it's the no's that are not more important to me than the yeses and l..."
Navigating Social Media Pressure
Rochelle discusses the pressures of social media and the expectation to constantly share personal experiences. She reflects on the balance between authenticity and privacy, explaining her approach to curating her online presence. Rochelle emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself while navigating the demands of social media.
"mind and it's changed the landscape for me that's such a i love that i think that's so powerful because what it did for me then is i was trying to think about the ways to sell this mug right i saw you..."
The Responsibility of Influence
In this segment, Rochelle addresses the responsibility that comes with having a verified social media presence. She expresses her concerns about spreading misinformation and the importance of being informed before sharing opinions on current events. Rochelle highlights the need for accountability among influencers in the digital age.
"i have a blue tick for the reason that you know for the reason that i'm verified and it's not because i'm a news anchor and it's not because i know everything that's going on in the world and it's not..."
Addressing the Black Maternity Scandal
Rochelle opens up about her involvement in a documentary addressing the alarming statistics surrounding maternal mortality rates in the Black community. She shares her motivations for participating in the project and the challenges she faced, including discussions about her identity and representation within the Black community.
"let's talk about that then things you're passionate about um and sort of topics you've you've spoken on the black maternity scandal was one of those topics um i was i was reading about why you wanted ..."
Confronting Colorism and Identity
Rochelle discusses the complexities of identity and colorism in the context of her documentary work. She reflects on the backlash she faced regarding her perceived authenticity within the Black community and the importance of having open conversations about colorism. Rochelle emphasizes the need for understanding and solidarity among individuals of diverse backgrounds.
"it didn't look good for you in and around childbirth so i got approached by a production company to go on this sort of journey into why and at the time they asked me i was very pregnant and i just was..."
The Pressure of Public Perception
Rochelle recounts the intense pressure she felt from the public and media regarding her involvement in a documentary about maternal mortality. She discusses the challenges of navigating public scrutiny and the emotional toll it took on her, emphasizing the need to focus on the bigger picture rather than personal attacks.
"so yeah it was a really weird period of time because i genuinely didn't know how to handle it because i didn't i then put the show on the other foot and then i said okay so if i'd been asked to do thi..."
Choosing Silence Over Defense
In this segment, Rochelle explains her decision to remain silent amidst public backlash. She reflects on the exhaustion of defending herself and the realization that her focus should be on the women whose stories she was telling, rather than on her own reputation.
"think that was the biggest frustration and also in all of this so this big conversation happened fine okay i get it and i'm not saying that colorism doesn't exist because it really [ __ ] does and it'..."
Lessons from Adversity
Rochelle shares the lessons learned from her challenging experience with public criticism. She discusses the importance of not reacting impulsively and recognizing that not everyone will understand her intentions, ultimately leading to personal growth and resilience.
"were so careful we had we had one director a black female director and it was just we didn't have a soundie we didn't have any a whole crew we turned up to these women's homes and we protected we want..."
The Burden of Expectations
Rochelle reflects on the unrealistic expectations placed on public figures and the pressure to maintain a perfect image. She discusses how this pressure can lead to feelings of inadequacy and the importance of authenticity in the face of criticism.
"appreciation for like complexity and how okay this is right but also this is right that that conversation doesn't happen because we're the algorithm pushes us into these tribes where we're either left..."
Finding Strength in Vulnerability
In this segment, Rochelle talks about the emotional impact of her experiences and the importance of vulnerability. She emphasizes that acknowledging one's feelings and struggles can lead to deeper connections and understanding within the community.
"them and the whole time i was checking they were okay with this look do you think and i was getting their their take on this and if they had said to me at one point rush i actually think maybe stepped..."
The Complexity of Public Life
Rochelle discusses the complexities of living in the public eye and how it can lead to unexpected challenges. She reflects on her journey and the lessons learned about resilience, community, and the importance of staying true to oneself.
"it's too tiring and then if i say something then someone like you said would yeah but you still didn't and then i would have had to have gone back to that and i think it's a never-ending yeah it's a n..."
The Balance of Personal and Public
Rochelle shares her thoughts on balancing personal experiences with public expectations. She emphasizes the importance of focusing on the greater good and the stories of others, rather than getting lost in the noise of public opinion.
"taught me not to you know not to react so quickly and not i think sometimes we're so quick to jump out to our own defense because i don't want someone to think i'm that person and i don't want them to..."
Resilience Amidst Criticism
In the final segment, Rochelle reflects on her journey through criticism and the resilience it has built within her. She discusses the importance of understanding one's intentions and the value of community support in overcoming challenges.
"it's just i know where it was coming from and sometimes it's enough and it's exhausting because someone's always going to have something to say always always especially on social media always yeah i i..."
Navigating Public Scrutiny
Rochelle Humes shares her experience dealing with public backlash during a challenging time in her career. She reflects on the emotional toll of negative comments and the importance of understanding that not everyone will be pleased with your decisions. This segment highlights the struggle of maintaining self-confidence amidst external criticism and the realization that it's okay to not have everything under control.
"so that's what we did we picked it up the following week so i took that week off and rebecca that works with me she marvin was on the phone today said right can you just do me a favor before you give ..."
Finding Balance in Relationships
In this segment, Rochelle discusses the dynamics of her relationship with Marvin and how they manage to find balance amidst their busy lives. She emphasizes the importance of mutual understanding and appreciation, acknowledging the challenges of juggling family and professional commitments. Rochelle reflects on how Marvin provides her with a sense of calm and security, which is crucial for her well-being.
"because maybe it was the first moment in my career that blindsided me that i wasn't in control of that someone could have said something that wasn't quite the truth and i had no control over that and ..."
The Pressure of Parenthood
Rochelle opens up about the societal expectations placed on mothers compared to fathers. She expresses her thoughts on how fathers are often praised for simply being present, while mothers face scrutiny for balancing work and family life. This segment sheds light on the double standards in parenting and the pressures women face in fulfilling multiple roles.
"like that's something that we always say like i can say it from my point of view because i feel very lucky to have him i'm not gonna say why he's lucky to have me but why is he lucky to have you i'm j..."
Healing from Past Relationships
Rochelle discusses the impact of past relationship traumas on new partnerships. She emphasizes the importance of not projecting past insecurities onto new partners and the conscious effort required to allow relationships to flourish. This segment highlights the significance of personal growth and healing in fostering healthy connections.
"yeah it's great but i've got i've got good people behind me you know and and he is definitely at the forefront of that for sure you were you talked about how you were cheated on a previous relationshi..."
The Challenges of Fame
In this segment, Rochelle recounts her early experiences with fame and the challenges that came with dating someone in the public eye. She reflects on the pressures of maintaining a relationship under scrutiny and the misconceptions that arise from being in the spotlight. Rochelle shares her journey of navigating fame while trying to keep her personal life private.
"important and like anybody until someone gives me a reason to feel a certain way like i'm not going to meet you and think oh i met someone the other day that interviewed me and was a bit of a dick so ..."
The Importance of Good Parenting
Rochelle discusses Marvin's role as a father and the societal perceptions surrounding fatherhood. She expresses her appreciation for his dedication and challenges the notion that fathers should be praised for simply fulfilling their parental duties. This segment highlights the need for equal recognition of both parents' contributions to family life.
"she was like like with intent like she was like you have ruined my life and i was like huh like okay you know it's like i couldn't really hear and then but the third time i was like oh i totally under..."
Crafting a Five-Year Plan
Rochelle shares her vision for the future, outlining her five-year plan in her career and personal life. She discusses her desire for balance in her professional endeavors, including her work in television and her business, My Little Coco. This segment emphasizes the importance of strategic planning and self-management in achieving long-term goals.
"you know of a dad but really at the same time i'm like no guess what he's stepping up to the plate and i'm not taking anything away from him because i really appreciate him and we really do in my hous..."
Taking Control of Your Career
In this segment, Rochelle explains her decision to manage herself rather than relying on external management. She reflects on her journey in the entertainment industry and the empowerment that comes from taking control of her career. This discussion highlights the importance of self-awareness and confidence in navigating the complexities of the business.
"that's really important to me i obviously now manage myself which is a very different thing and that was something that was really crucial in my five-year plan tell me why you made the decision to mov..."
The 51% Rule in Decision Making
Rochelle shares a powerful lesson learned from Barack Obama about making decisions with only 51% certainty. She explains how procrastination can cost more than making a decision and highlights the importance of acting on intuition, even when complete certainty is unattainable.
"and trust in that because there were ideas being thrown around i'm like oh no this isn't oh this is so far off of me so yeah i had a real realization and it was quite an emotional thing too because it..."
Emotional Weight of Tough Choices
In this segment, Rochelle opens up about the emotional weight of making tough decisions and the discomfort that often accompanies them. She discusses the liberation felt after making a decision and the importance of prioritizing personal well-being over the fear of upsetting others.
"people and this is kind of what he didn't say but what i took from it is what ends up happening is the procrastination of the decision um ends up costing you more in the long term than actually just m..."
Confronting Discomfort in Decision Making
Rochelle emphasizes the necessity of confronting discomfort when making significant life decisions. She reflects on how the hardest part is often delivering the news to others, but stresses that leaning into these moments can lead to personal growth and liberation.
"else there was like i felt like oh thank goodness i've done that there's so many people listening to this podcast now that know the answer to a decision and in fact because of that psychological disco..."
Prioritizing Attention to Loved Ones
Rochelle expresses a desire to pay more attention to her dog, highlighting the unconditional love pets provide. She reflects on the balance between work and personal life, emphasizing the importance of nurturing relationships with loved ones amidst a busy schedule.
"just get the balls too and it's that once you've done it you'll feel you will just feel so liberated it's crazy we have a tradition on this podcast which is a fairly new tradition where the previous g..."
The Power of Authenticity
In the closing moments of the podcast, Rochelle and Steven discuss the significance of authenticity in personal and professional life. Rochelle's journey of embracing her true self shines through, inspiring listeners to cultivate their own authenticity and the positive impact it can have on their lives.
"after i've walked through the door after a month in new york yeah you'd expect them to be pissed off in the corner like that oh yeah now you're rolling this time yeah what don't you call this yeah so ..."