"I've got a difficult conversation I want to have with someone and they might be a narcissist. >> So, let's stop there because if you just blatantly label somebody as being a narcissist, you're not goi..."

"corrections officer, became a police officer and I was a SWAT officer as well. From there I went to the federal government. So I went to the secret service. Uh with the secret service I also started a..."

"outdated. >> They were. So there is in the US there's a very historical evolution of interview and interrogation. You know, it started in the 1900s when policing came in. In that circumstance, it was ..."

">> And that's a problem. So you just labeled somebody a narcissist. Why does that matter to you? >> I think it allows me to blame them. I guess >> allows you to blame but but tell me tell me in your p..."

"this person gaslights you. What is What are they gaslighting you about? >> Um, when I bring something up, they make me feel like I'm to blame. When I when I bring up how I feel, maybe they make me fee..."

"this person becomes aggressive, this person starts to be insulting. If my mission at that moment is to deepen my conversation with them and deepen my relationship in some way, and this starts to get u..."

"and his wife Nancy. And Philip and Nancy kept JC Duggard for 18 years. He fathered two children with her. One when she was 14 and one when she was 17. And in 2009, they found her and him at Berkeley. ..."

"story, right, people who lie don't do that, right? It's truth tellers will often do that because it's just like this is just what happened. Like these are the things that happened. This is my life in ..."

"people are worst at because it's a lot to do. Think about right now think about my conversation with you at this moment. I'm speaking so internally my internal vocabulary and the conversation that I'm..."

"this like always let the other person talk more. That's great. But if both people are doing that, then the conversation is not progressing. The conversation is an extension of what you and I are speak..."

"the changes in my body language, and there's something you don't understand, you need to ask. This is where you're going to deepen the conversation. This is where you show somebody that you're active ..."

"hours at a time sometimes, over the last 5 years, I have come to learn certain body language um, patterns in my guests. >> Okay. >> One of the most obvious ones is when I ask the guest a question that..."

"this? Is there anything that I can do that we can you know further our relationship where both you and I can can be in alignment. >> Do you ask them or do you propose? >> I would always ask them if I'..."

">> Okay. What's your purpose of being in the conversation? I'm trying to get them to stop being so rude to me when we're on the same bank of telephones at the call center. >> So, it is a matter of if ..."

"we go into those conversations, someone calls you an you your cortisol starts spiking, you get into your amydala, you get stressed, you get emotional, you end up calling them an back. But is there I ..."

"room, in in any in any conversation, if you lose your cool, you lose control. You have to be mindful of that. I was overseeing a an internal affairs interview uh and I was going to go in and talk to t..."

"perspective you can look at like here you know in in the US in western civilizations like we are primarily like a dignity culture where we are it's all about us right it's all about that internal that..."

"text placement, the stuff that might sound petty to most people, but actually compounds to create something that stands out, something that's one better than the rest. And designing my cover art has r..."

"I want to increase the probability that someone opens up and tells me something, one of the things I do is I share myself. >> Yeah. >> So, you know, I might be asking someone about their childhood and..."

"for them. And so you'll lie. You'll you'll do whatever you need to do to to close a deal to get them to do something to give them to give you something. That's manipulation because it's often one of t..."

">> They want to accomplish something. They have a goal >> for who? >> For themselves, >> right? So is that is that influence? But it gets the job done for some for some people. >> Sure it does. >> I'm..."

"So truly, Stephen, the question becomes, is what I've shared with you in good hands? Because if it's not, that's a problem, >> right? >> Mhm. >> Let me ask you a question. Do you have a secret that ma..."

"you show them consistently time and time again that you are a person that you know can be trusted. >> On um on leadership principles, something I've heard you talk about as well. Um what what do you t..."

">> Somebody who's calm under chaos. >> That would be my definition of a leader. However, and I say that because leadership is a feeling, Stephen, how do you make these people feel as it relates to my ..."

"how people make decisions with different degrees of certainty and information. >> Yeah. What the the study showed was there were a group of students that you know were taking a test in college and the..."

"a from an angle, just people driving up and down this road. This car flies by, goes through a stop sign, doesn't stop. It's a very nice luxury sedan. So, I turn on my lights, pull him over, and I said..."

"wrong direction, one automation that overwrites the wrong thing, or an AI agent drifting off course, and suddenly your business is offline, your team is stuck, and you're in damage control mode. That'..."

"it is? Yeah, the research showed that your ability to build rapport with a person is what gives you the most power in terms of that connection. And different people, you know, >> and how do you build ..."

"was a plan framework. And it's not about making things complicated. It's actually about, you know, there's there's things that you should take out, you know, when it comes to communication as opposed ..."

">> No. >> Okay. But that becomes >> because I don't feel that. >> You don't feel it. >> But she just wants me to acknowledge. >> She wants you to acknowledge it. So the difference is in terms of it wa..."

"what decision do you most regret? And would things have turned out better if you had made it differently? Ouch, that's a spicy one. So I as much as this wants to be a spicy one, I can I can categorica..."