"could you do me a quick favor if you're listening to this please hit the follow or subscribe button it helps more than you know and we invite subscribers in every month to watch the show in person am ..."

"i hope nobody's listening but if you are then please keep this to yourself [Music] lewis i have to start with a with a point of gratitude which is thank you so much for doing this you are and i don't ..."

"showed me when we were in dubai having that conversation at 2 am in the morning which is where i wanted to start our conversation today which was the the screen saver of your phone that really stayed ..."

"and where did that story come from that he was unlovable i've heard you describe yourself even as thinking you were dumb thinking you you couldn't you weren't worthy of friendships and things like tha..."

"trauma that they face with the challenge is most men have not been taught how to effectively communicate their shame their guilt their insecurities there's not many guys that grow up i don't think you..."

"were growing up could you tell me a little bit about the dynamics of your parents as well because i've heard you describe the early life and um yeah the quote that i read from you was that they were m..."

"your dad's anger and his anger directed i guess uh you or your siblings or all of us yeah all of us but it wasn't all the time you know so again he was a loving guy he would tuck me into bed at night ..."

"was around 21. it was devastating because now i didn't have a mentor that now was showing up in a different way was loving was vulnerable i saw him cry a lot more i saw him just be sensitive so when h..."

"it'd be doing an interview show or a podcast i don't think you'd be writing books or all these things but something shifted within me because he was physically alive but emotionally and mentally not t..."

"but i just don't think i'd be the man i am without his accident because it made me unleash something inside of me that was untapped when i met you in dubai every topic you talked on you talked on as i..."

"me 17 years ago was that my dad also felt larger than life i don't know if your father felt that way it feels that way as well yeah but he felt large in life he was extremely intelligent and smart he ..."

"effort work late nights all that stuff but it made me just say what is my mission what's my intention for this season of my life and am i doing everything in my power to live the way i want to live be..."

"i mean i always reflect on this that brony ware who was the palliative nurse who interviewed people in their last days and the retrospective clarity people must have in their last days about what they..."

"maybe you have three times if it's a year maybe you have ten times if it's four years that you experienced a moment in person with your dad yeah hopefully he lives 10 20 years but two to three times a..."

"dad or my mum or whatever was abusive or toxic or whatever to me is i think you got to ask yourself if they died today would i be happy with how i communicated how i showed up and maybe that means you..."

"you know even from the sexual abuse i'm not mad at it anymore i'm not hurt by it anymore i hope it never happens to anyone in the history i don't wish it on anyone but i also know that it gave me an i..."

"everything started to change because that's the moment i allowed myself to be vulnerable for the first time i just thought i had it figured out and what i realized is i knew nothing there were symptom..."

"until 37 but in intimate relationships i still hadn't learned how to fully love and honor my authentic power i still gave in because i deeply wanted people to like me i deeply wanted the person that i..."

"salsa dancing you don't like me traveling you don't like me speaking you don't like me doing okay like whatever's gonna make you happy because there was love there and i thought that when you love som..."

"let go of the feeling of love it was a false love it wasn't authentic love because authentic love is accepting the person for who they are and them accepting you for who you are it's not trying to cha..."

"it's such a important conversation because it's crazy man you described the reasons why in your trauma that that made you a people pleaser and do you know what's really interesting is when you told me..."

"i'm all for making adjustments in alignment with certain things but it shouldn't be changing your core essence of who you are to make someone happy that's not real love you said something to me which ..."

"as opposed to who can i be if i'm 100 myself in life and i'm not saying like if you've got flaws adjust those and prove those like i'm all willing to improve and adjust all my flaws but if it's someth..."

"a relationship i was like i really want to be single for like a year and just be single and i met her before that time and i remember thinking uh crap there's something unique and special here on a di..."

"and it's not that she's not a number one top priority but health needs to come first at all times that doesn't mean all day i'm doing my health it's just i need to make sure every day i'm taking care ..."

"right when i finished she said that's the most amazing thing i've ever heard because that's exactly what i've been looking for i've been dating guys with no purpose none of them had a purpose they mad..."

"about this but every relationship i've been in i was like i wonder what it would be like to start therapy in the beginning when everything is perfect so with martha i said in the beginning i said list..."

"experience i mean it's very emotional and you're processing a lot and we're we're diving in deep exercises eye gazing talking about things like it's an emotional relationship workout yeah you'll save ..."

"man what you've described there that doing the making the roots go deeper again something i have to thank you for because we had a conversation about vision values and lifestyle oh and when i got back..."

"airport in because i'm not going to compromise right and if you you know you won't even hear it is it really a problem and then we discussed why she thought it might be a problem does that impact her ..."

"like it i don't think anyone likes it but the more we do it here's the thing we've created a safe space where and the reason i don't like to do it or haven't like to do it until now is because every t..."

"she's not explosive and that's a powerful thing of how can i be comfortable in the discomfort while also feeling safe that's huge and you've got to learn to practice that yourself in a relationship an..."

"and people make so many mistakes in their lives by not having that regulated their reactions can have consequences for years people go to prison for one reaction people lose their entire business for ..."

"really stuck out to me when i first met you was when we were sat there and you're doing it again today you've done it three times today is you would say something and then you'd say and that's my resp..."

"conversations it's one of my values so we have these deep intimate talks all the time and so i write down a list of all my values the vision is this is the vision for my personal life so personally i ..."

"relationship and then lifestyle i love you know traveling do you like to travel i love to watch these types of movies i like to eat these types of foods i like these types of experiences this is a lif..."

"in pursuit of yourself and your potential so how do you then balance like being a boyfriend being present going on dates and stuff what's the conversation when i first met her i said one of my values ..."

"seeing around family and kids because i never trusted the person i was with fully so i couldn't see myself having kids with them and i kept waiting to see something to shift to where i felt like this ..."

"more peace and connection and safety and she's just an incredible person like she's just a great human being and trustworthy and so it's like even if something happened to me she could be incredible y..."

"that's the biggest killer whatever wounds we have be on the healing journey it's not it's not going to happen overnight it's not like a moment it's a journey of healing and i think the more people are..."

"to get back to okay why is this stressing me out how can i process this and integrate healing in a healthy way so that when life happens it doesn't pull me off my mission and that's something i've exp..."

"and in terms of emotional journeys you cite that you're still on one absolutely what are the things that you're now talking to your therapist about that you're trying to solve in yourself i had this p..."

"work about intimacy and relationships and just in life she's like now and i go okay am i done because this is a lot of work you know it's like it's a lot you're diving into your emotions you're tappin..."

"was that fear of public speaking huge fear man and i could not stand in front of two to three p friends in school and really even have a conversation like i didn't know how if someone asked me a quest..."

"just want to put that in context because you went from someone that basically couldn't have a conversation kind of like an international public speaker yeah i don't know if um it was like this in scho..."

"front of people and i remember this is funny i was also um i was also terrified to dance and i started salsa dancing obsessively because i wanted to overcome this fear and when i was learning this ski..."

"i remember i had no notes no props no nothing and i was extremely poised and confident and got like the standing ovation at the end of the year because they saw my journey the first speech i had every..."

"everyone's life in your job in your relationship in someone offers you oh do you want to come and do this thing and you go that's not south sudan's and or you go through a hard relationship and you're..."

"fun that i've mastered it's incredible same thing with public speaking i remember thinking before i started toastmasters like if i want to get a job i need to learn public speaking if i want to like i..."

"on the other side same in relationships after the previous relationship i was like okay i can be afraid and be single for a year and like guard my heart or i can open my heart keep it expansive not cl..."

"say to me oh you're so courageous for dropping out of university and starting this business i've reflected on that over the years because i've really struggled with this concept of people thinking i w..."

"depression yeah crippling anxiety exactly panic attacks behavior all these you know addictions everything man as you look off into your future then lewis you're thinking about how lewis house shapes h..."

"next mission two questions then the first question is why does that matter to you why does helping 100 million lives a week matter to you what are you going to get if that happens if you succeed well ..."

"in alignment on the things i say yes and no to does this decision project interview partnership serve 100 million lives or get me closer to it or is it a distraction so it helps me get clear on saying..."

"someone introspective learning diving in you know overcoming something and trying something new that's meaningful to me and so if we can do that weekly for a while then i'll i'll take an assessment an..."

"relationship with martha and my relationship with friends and family my team i just feel like man if this was it i'm in a peaceful place and that's beautiful amazing and i i truly feel it i truly feel..."

"piece of advice i mean it's like what would you do if you were starting all over again you know if you were 21 and or you started your podcast again or you know you were getting started again in your ..."

"i'm doing i sit here with people a lot and i remember speaking to gary and gary talked to me about the importance for him of legacy yeah is this something that's important to you the concept of legacy..."

"of his legacy he was a part of my foundation and now i'm going to be a part of that and i think about that because i want to make sure that my last name is meaningful and it would make him proud you k..."

"but it matters because everything is a reflection of our past it's like dominance yeah my grandparents influence my parents their traumas and their beauty influenced them which influenced me and i fel..."