All Segments
Why We're Getting More Depressed, Anxious and Lonely | E55
28 segments available
In this episode of The Diary Of A CEO titled "Fitting In Is A Curse" I discuss: 0:00 Intro 02:01 How I've FINALLY fixed / figured out why we lose motivation 11:31 Why people are more depressed and anxious (and a cure) 23:13 Humans have no idea what they want 39:51 Key to success: Avoiding good opportunities so you have time to devote to great opportunities. 43:16 Why I don't think marriage is the right answer. 49:15 Why you should NOT "Fit in". Listen on: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/episode/0hduJfz497WZ5fMQSBdKbg?si=mHN1qmBJR-Kwi2ySNWDeNA Apple Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/e55-why-were-getting-more-depressed-anxious-and-lonely/id1291423644?i=1000496904768 My book pre-order: (UK, US, AUS, NZ Link) - http://hyperurl.co/xenkw2 (EU & Rest of the World Link) https://www.bookdepository.com/Happy-Sexy-Millionaire-Steven-Bartlett/9781529301496?ref=grid-view&qid=1610300058833&sr=1-2 FOLLOW ► Facebook: http://bit.ly/StevenBartlettFacebook Twitter: http://bit.ly/SteveSCTwitter Instagram: http://bit.ly/StevenBartlettInstagram Linkedin: http://bit.ly/StevenBartlettLinkedIn
Segments Timeline
Reflecting on Last Week's Insights
In this opening segment, Steven Bartlett pays homage to his previous podcast guest and reflects on the valuable lessons learned from their conversation about mental health issues like depression and anxiety. He emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and how the insights gained have inspired this episode, which will focus on his personal anecdotes and lessons learned over the past week.
"hello listen before i start i just want to pay a little bit of homage and also a tribute to the guests that i had joined me last week on this podcast the feedback that i got from that conversation for..."
Breaking the Cycle of Motivation
Steven discusses his annual struggle with motivation, particularly regarding fitness goals. He describes the cycle of setting goals in February, achieving them by summer, and then losing motivation by fall. This segment delves into the psychological reasons behind this pattern and how he has finally begun to understand and overcome it, leading to sustained commitment to his health.
"so for the first point in my diary this week i've literally just written means to an end syndrome let me explain what i mean every single year i set myself the same goal in february and the goal is si..."
Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation
In this segment, Steven contrasts intrinsic and extrinsic motivations, explaining how his previous fitness goals were driven by external validation and societal expectations. He shares his realization that true motivation should come from within, focusing on the long-term benefits of health and well-being rather than temporary appearances. This shift has allowed him to maintain a consistent fitness routine throughout the year.
"tell you how i did this and let me tell you what i understood about my own motivation because i know it's going to speak to you in your own way let me rewind every year around february march i say the..."
Understanding Your True Motivations
Steven emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in understanding one's motivations. He discusses how many people's goals are often misguided or driven by external pressures. By interrogating his own motivations, he encourages listeners to reflect on their reasons for pursuing certain goals, highlighting the need for humility and critical self-analysis to gain control over one's life.
"season that it's incredibly valuable and important to be healthy and to look good for as james clear says you know we tend to believe that we'll be more successful or happy or prosperous if we put mor..."
Returning to Our Human Roots
In this thought-provoking segment, Steven reflects on the irony of modern mental health techniques being rooted in ancient human practices. He questions what it means to be human in today's society, stripped of social pressures and distractions. By exploring the natural lifestyle of our ancestors, he suggests that returning to these principles may hold the key to improving mental health and overall well-being.
"extrinsic someone else's okay so the next point in my diary i've just written here journey back to human let me explain i find it so ironic but somewhat unsurprising if i'm honest that most of the new..."
The Importance of Human Connection
Bartlett highlights the critical role of human connection in combating loneliness and depression. He references Johann Hari's influential book 'Lost Connections,' which argues that meaningful relationships are essential for a fulfilling life, and shares his personal journey of realizing the emptiness of wealth without companionship.
"i'll find myself trawling through google as i did as i you know when i went over to costa rica and i spent the time in the jungle i found myself trawling through google in history trying to understand..."
The Illusion of Success
In this segment, Steven reflects on his past obsession with wealth and success, revealing how it led to profound loneliness. He shares insights on how true fulfillment comes from meaningful relationships rather than material wealth, emphasizing that life is a multiplayer game, not a solo experience.
"bunch of studies and i've seen a bunch of ted talks on youtube where they've done a study over a century and they followed like a hundred or a thousand people and the people that don't establish meani..."
Simplicity vs. Complexity
Bartlett contrasts the simplicity of ancient human lifestyles with the complexities of modern life. He discusses how societal pressures for success and perfection lead to stress and dissatisfaction, advocating for a return to simpler living to enhance mental well-being.
"with life is uh it's a multiplayer game it's not a solo experience and i i got to see how miserable some of my quote unquote successful friends were by just being behind the scenes in their life one o..."
Nature as a Healing Force
In this segment, Steven emphasizes the importance of nature in our lives, sharing his transformative experience living in the Costa Rican jungle. He argues that spending time in nature is essential for mental health and reconnecting with our human essence.
"which results in a simpler mind which is so frequently the thing that you know psychologists and therapists prescribe to all of us when we have illnesses today to simplify our lives but simplifying ou..."
The Decline of Human Activity
Bartlett discusses the alarming decline in human activity and its correlation with rising obesity and mental health issues. He critiques modern conveniences that promote a sedentary lifestyle, urging listeners to embrace physical activity and healthier living to feel more human.
"so one of the things that i've tried to introduce into my life is a little bit more simplicity scenarios and context that simplify my life and every day now i go for a walk there and back to the gym a..."
Rediscovering Our Humanity
In this closing segment, Steven reflects on the need to rediscover our humanity amidst modern challenges. He encourages listeners to embrace a more human lifestyle, focusing on connection, simplicity, and nature as pathways to improved mental health and fulfillment.
"natural way of being it's crazy it's crazy that the new age cures for our new age problems all seek to take us back 10 000 years meditation and digital detoxes are there to still our mind healthy nutr..."
The Truth About 'How Are You?'
The speaker reflects on a conversation with a friend about the common response of 'I'm good' when asked how they are. He emphasizes the importance of being honest about our feelings, especially during challenging times like a pandemic, and how this honesty can lead to deeper connections and understanding of burnout.
"i've literally just written humans have no idea what they want which kind of ties a little bit into my first point but it's very very different i want to tell you a story one of my very very good frie..."
Burnout: The Hidden Cost of Success
This segment explores the concept of burnout, particularly in the context of extrinsic motivations like money and status. The speaker shares insights from his research on burnout, highlighting how external definitions of success can lead to feelings of emptiness and lack of motivation.
"definitely not in the middle of a global pandemic where our lives are locked down and stripped back and have been completely shifted nobody's yeah good so i instinctively replied to him which is a hab..."
The Pandemic's Impact on Motivation
The speaker discusses how the pandemic has stripped away intrinsic enjoyment from work and life, leading to a sense of purposelessness. He explains how the lack of social interaction and community has exacerbated feelings of burnout and low motivation among individuals.
"as being burnt out and let's just take a look at the world we're living in right now because it adds a really important layer of context to all of that this pandemic has robbed all of us our lives and..."
The Fragility of Human Motivation
In this segment, the speaker reflects on the simplicity and predictability of human motivations, emphasizing that many people are experiencing similar struggles during the pandemic. He discusses how the loss of intrinsic value in work has led to widespread feelings of burnout and dissatisfaction.
"i've tried to understand the complexity of humans the more i've realized how simple predictable and alike we all are and our motivations don't tend to be that dissimilar with such fragile emotional un..."
The Great Resignation: A Search for Purpose
The speaker addresses the phenomenon of increased staff turnover during the pandemic, linking it to a loss of intrinsic value in work. He explains how many individuals are seeking new opportunities in search of purpose and fulfillment, highlighting the broader implications for the workforce.
"a bunch of people alone in their boxer shorts on their own little islands doing their to-do list every day chatting once in a while on zoom or over whatsapp or in shared company groups work becomes wo..."
Understanding Burnout: A Personal Reflection
This segment delves into the speaker's personal experiences with burnout and insecurity, drawing parallels with a friend's journey. He discusses how external validation shaped their definitions of success and the impact of these beliefs on their mental health.
"so they go in search of that purpose somewhere else and people have been leaving other companies and in their droves to be honest and wanting to come to social chain and people have left social chain ..."
The Illusion of Material Success
The speaker shares a personal anecdote about his desire for a luxury car as a symbol of success. He reflects on how achieving this goal did not bring the expected fulfillment, highlighting the difference between external validation and true self-worth.
"sports cars right in his case it's made him particularly intent on showing the world that he is worthy and that he is successful the clue of course is in the fact that when i asked him to define what ..."
Freelancer Depression: The Hidden Struggles
In this segment, the speaker discusses the challenges of freelance work and the glamorization of being one's own boss. He introduces the concept of 'freelancer depression,' emphasizing the lack of community and intrinsic motivation that often accompanies this lifestyle, especially during the pandemic.
"as a lot of you will know i wrote in my diary that my goal was to buy a range rover um i wrote there in my diary that a range rover would be my first car that was my goal and that was a goal that was ..."
The Shift in Motivation
Bartlett shares a personal anecdote about his transition from a busy, chaotic work life to a more reflective state after leaving Social Chain. He discusses how his sense of purpose has shifted, leading to a newfound aversion to the hectic lifestyle he once thrived in, illustrating the importance of meaningful work and connection.
"evangelize about being your own boss and going alone and all of the freelance lifestyle never seemed to mention that much and to be fair this pandemic has made us all freelancers to some degree it's r..."
Purpose vs. Motivation
In this insightful segment, Bartlett distinguishes between motivation and purpose. He recounts a time when he was financially successful yet lacked the motivation to pursue opportunities, revealing that it was a lack of purpose, not motivation, that hindered him. He emphasizes the importance of working towards a meaningful mission to avoid burnout.
"such a sacrifice for nothing i would hate to do that and it brings me back to the moment in my life where you know i think i've talked about this on the podcast before where i was technically freelanc..."
Choosing Great Opportunities
Bartlett discusses the challenge of prioritizing great opportunities over good ones after leaving Social Chain. He reflects on the influx of offers he receives and the necessity of aligning these opportunities with his long-term values and goals, stressing the importance of saying no to maintain focus on what truly matters.
"purpose so all i can feel is the sacrifice but i guess that's that's how you behave i guess that's how you behave when you have a deep sense of purpose in the work you're doing so i guess my conclusio..."
Valuing Your Time
In this segment, Bartlett shares his approach to valuing his time at a high financial rate, suggesting that this mindset helps in making better decisions about which opportunities to pursue. He encourages listeners to assign a monetary value to their time to filter out less valuable commitments and focus on high-impact work.
"since i've left social chain and i'm now technically unemployed but i have a great reputation i have a great track record um i gotta be honest my inbox every day is full of just amazing opportunities ..."
Rethinking Marriage
Bartlett presents a controversial perspective on marriage, questioning its necessity and the societal constructs surrounding it. He reflects on his personal beliefs about love and commitment, suggesting that true love should not require legal contracts or religious ceremonies, and discusses the implications of viewing marriage as a potential source of anxiety.
"i understand is quite a controversial one um i've just written marriage monogamy and me listen and i've spent a lot of time in this podcast talking about relationships and my views on marriage and the..."
The Monogamy Debate
Steven Bartlett delves into the controversial topic of monogamy, expressing doubts about whether humans are inherently meant to have one partner. He acknowledges societal influences on relationships while recognizing the complexities of human desire. This segment challenges listeners to reflect on their own beliefs about fidelity and commitment in modern relationships.
"think it might make issues bigger than they are and it's something that i've really pondered you know i have a track record in my life of really like interrogating stuff i interrogated school to the p..."
Marriage: A Broken Concept?
In this thought-provoking segment, Steven Bartlett compares marriage to a faulty product, citing the high divorce rate as evidence of its dysfunction. He questions the traditional notion of 'till death do us part' and suggests that many relationships fail due to external temptations. This candid discussion encourages listeners to reconsider the validity and structure of marriage in contemporary society.
"but i think if we all i think of a huge amount of us are honest with ourselves and this is based on the behavior we exhibit we would probably sleep with someone else that was smoking heart we don't be..."
The Freedom of Being Yourself
Steven Bartlett emphasizes the importance of authenticity and self-expression over societal conformity. He shares personal insights on how fitting in can lead to unhappiness and anxiety, advocating for a life lived true to oneself. This segment encourages listeners to break free from societal expectations and embrace their individuality for greater fulfillment.
"but i don't know the answer i don't know what the alternative is i know that it's going to have to be commitment-centric but i feel that maybe when it comes to my life i'm not going to seek marriage i..."
The Journey to Self-Discovery
In this reflective segment, Steven Bartlett discusses the journey of becoming one's true self amidst societal pressures. He posits that life is about shedding imposed identities and embracing authenticity. This exploration of self-discovery highlights the significance of living life on one's own terms, ultimately leading to happiness and fulfillment.
"i think next week with a very um awesome person who is also developing his opinion on this i don't want to give the the don't let the cat out the bag on this one but trust me next week is going to be ..."