All Segments
I Have A Secret To Tell You... | E53
28 segments available
In this episode of The Diary Of A CEO titled "I Tested Positive..." I discuss: 0:00 Introduction 2:22 The first lesson this pandemic has taught me 9:44 I have a secret to tell you 23:00 Changing the shape of your brain 32:49 Less answers and more questions 36:40 What are some of the most important questions you can ask yourself? 45:23 The thing that invalided you when you were younger, will be the thing you seek validation from as an adult Listen on: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/episode/3OcGwecfXtPCWtrDJbhQs5?si=36IBrEhZQu2873wmGPrjKA Apple Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/e53-i-tested-positive/id1291423644?i=1000495233253 My book pre-order: (UK, US, AUS, NZ Link) - http://hyperurl.co/xenkw2 (EU & Rest of the World Link) https://www.bookdepository.com/Happy-Sexy-Millionaire-Steven-Bartlett/9781529301496?ref=grid-view&qid=1610300058833&sr=1-2 FOLLOW ► Facebook: http://bit.ly/StevenBartlettFacebook Twitter: http://bit.ly/SteveSCTwitter Instagram: http://bit.ly/StevenBartlettInstagram Linkedin: http://bit.ly/StevenBartlettLinkedIn
Segments Timeline
Facing the Virus
In this segment, Steven Bartlett shares his personal experience of testing positive for COVID-19 and the unexpected challenges he faced during his illness. He reflects on the unpredictability of the virus, the symptoms he experienced, and the impact it had on him and his team. This moment of vulnerability sets the stage for deeper reflections on the lessons learned during the pandemic.
"i tested positive for the coronavirus and that is why you didn't hear from me last week i said i was going to do this podcast every single monday we got off to a bit of a rocky start because during la..."
The Power of Contrast
Steven discusses the importance of contrasting our current lives with our past experiences, especially during challenging times like the pandemic. He emphasizes how reminiscing about what we miss can lead to feelings of sadness and self-pity. Instead, he advocates for a shift in perspective, encouraging listeners to focus on gratitude for what they still have, highlighting the privilege of health and stability amidst global turmoil.
"so without further ado i'm stephen butler and this is the diary of a ceo i hope nobody is listening but if you are then please keep this to yourself okay so the first thing in my diary this week is ju..."
Gratitude Over Self-Pity
In this segment, Steven elaborates on the dangers of contrasting our lives in a negative direction, which can lead to depression and despair. He shares personal anecdotes about how moments of discomfort, like dealing with tinnitus, have taught him to appreciate his health and well-being. Steven stresses that by focusing on what we have rather than what we lack, we can cultivate a mindset of gratitude that enhances our happiness.
"even [ __ ] privileged [ __ ] like me can make the mistake right so i can't imagine how easy it is to make this mistake for everybody else when you contrast your life up as i was doing to the life you..."
The Secret of Wealth
Steven reveals a significant lesson he learned about wealth and privilege: access to information. He explains how understanding financial systems and wealth-building strategies is crucial for success. By sharing insights from his experiences with wealthy friends and mentors, he highlights the disparity in knowledge that often exists between different socioeconomic groups, emphasizing that true privilege lies in the information we have access to.
"i have a secret to tell you and this is the second point in my diary this week it's a secret that i only found out and started to deeply understand recently when i say recently i mean the last 24 mont..."
Teaching Future Generations
In this segment, Steven reflects on the privilege of teaching future generations about the value of learning and self-education. He stresses that with the internet and social media, everyone has access to information, yet many fail to recognize its true worth. He shares his vision of instilling a love for knowledge in his future children.
"just like money is a fish right me telling you today's information is also a bit of a fish because things change quite quickly in the world and even if i could tell you everything i knew now about mon..."
The Cost of Short-Term Thinking
Steven recounts a personal story about a young person who turned down a job offer for immediate financial gain. He critiques the tendency to prioritize short-term financial incentives over long-term learning opportunities. This segment serves as a cautionary tale about the importance of making decisions that favor long-term growth.
"have social media we will have youtube you know you're doing it right now some of you that are watching this online i think we tend to over value short-term financial incentives and undervalue learnin..."
The Value of Information Access
In this segment, Steven emphasizes the transformative power of being around knowledgeable individuals. He argues that the information gained from mentors can outweigh immediate financial benefits. He encourages listeners to recognize the long-term value of learning from those who have achieved success.
"all of my sort of real close team are literally working with me in my home or in you know in a small um co-working space and this was a in my opinion a fairly unique opportunity right because we're go..."
Curating Your Information Diet
Steven discusses the importance of being selective about the information consumed online. He advocates for muting or unfollowing sources that do not contribute positively to one's knowledge and growth. This segment highlights the need to be a gatekeeper of one's mental diet to foster a more enriching online experience.
"gratification is you have to learn to do that in your careers too i'm gonna close off this point by telling you the easiest simplest change that i've made in my life to radically radically increase th..."
The Impact of Social Media Choices
In this segment, Steven reflects on the influence of social media on personal development. He stresses the importance of following diverse perspectives rather than creating an echo chamber. He encourages listeners to embrace differing opinions to broaden their understanding and challenge their beliefs.
"the question you have to be honest why the [ __ ] do you still follow jenny from 10 years ago who you do not give a f about as she publicly complains to some customer service rep on twitter about her ..."
Embracing Diverse Perspectives
Steven concludes with a reminder of the value of engaging with differing viewpoints. He acknowledges the challenge of maintaining a diverse social media presence but emphasizes that it is essential for personal growth. This segment serves as a call to action for listeners to cleanse their social media feeds and seek out constructive dialogue.
"so if there is a small thing that you can do now to really change the most important influence on your life it's to go through your social media timelines and every time you see someone who isn't cont..."
The Journey of Self-Discovery
In this closing segment, Steven hints at the next topic about changing the shape of one's brain. He reflects on his journey of self-discovery and the importance of continuous learning. This segment sets the stage for deeper discussions on personal growth and fulfillment.
"today this week it will be for some of you the greatest thing i was ever able to do for you the greatest gift i can give you for listening to this podcast also you know turn all the unifications off a..."
Changing the Shape of Your Brain
Steven discusses the concept of neuroplasticity, revealing how our brains can physically change based on our experiences and thoughts. He shares insights from his journey into neuroscience, debunking the myth that brain shape is fixed. This segment highlights the power of focus and the impact of daily mental habits on our brain's structure.
"also you know turn all the unifications off all of them but we'll save that topic for another time okay so the third point in my diary is about changing the shape of your brain you can change the shap..."
The Science of Worry
In this segment, Steven explains how chronic worrying can reshape our brains into anxiety machines. He references scientific studies that illustrate how our mental habits can lead to significant neurological changes. This discussion serves as a wake-up call for those struggling with anxiety, emphasizing the importance of addressing negative thought patterns.
"now on amazon i started to develop a bit of an obsession with neuroscience and i'm not gonna i'm not gonna go do too deep into the science because you don't necessarily need to know that stuff but i'm..."
Self-Observation Techniques
Steven introduces the concept of 'observation without engagement' as a powerful self-observation technique. He explains how this practice, akin to meditation, allows individuals to detach from their thoughts and feelings, promoting mental clarity. This segment provides practical insights for managing stress and anxiety in everyday life.
"worry machine you'll get your brain will become tuned for worry and i've looked through the research i've looked at before and after pictures of brain scans of people who've overcome worry and addicti..."
The Clouds Metaphor
Using the clouds metaphor, Steven illustrates how to view thoughts and feelings as temporary, passing phenomena. He encourages listeners to adopt a mindset of detachment, allowing them to observe their emotions without becoming overwhelmed. This perspective is crucial for maintaining mental health amidst life's challenges.
"just like how if you stopped going to the gym or you started going to the gym you'd have a completely different body a few years later and they've identified a number of methods just simple everyday c..."
The Video Game Mindset
Steven shares his unique perspective on life's challenges, likening them to a video game. He explains how this mindset has helped him navigate stress and adversity, allowing him to maintain calm and clarity. This segment emphasizes the importance of mental detachment in high-pressure situations, particularly for leaders and entrepreneurs.
"engage you're not supposed to try and fix it just observe let me give you another metaphor which i think explains this best it's called the clouds metaphor imagine your thoughts and feelings or bodily..."
The Power of Self-Observation
In this segment, Steven discusses the transformative power of self-observation in managing stress and anxiety. He contrasts his approach with that of his business partner, highlighting how different mental strategies can lead to vastly different outcomes in high-stress environments. This insight is invaluable for anyone facing pressure in their personal or professional lives.
"he said right and this is a horrible thing for me to talk about he said he considered jumping in front of a train and killing himself because things at one point were so almost unbearable and the diff..."
Meditation and Mindfulness
Steven addresses common misconceptions about meditation, explaining that it doesn't have to be a formal practice. He shares how simple moments of pause and relaxation can serve as effective forms of meditation. This segment encourages listeners to find their own methods of mindfulness to enhance their mental well-being.
"business partner don was inside the game he was the pawn on the chessboard he was the soldier running through the battlefield in the call of duty he was taking the enemy fire so he internalized that p..."
Less Answers, More Questions
In this closing segment, Steven reflects on the value of asking questions rather than always seeking answers. He critiques the pressure to speak up and assert knowledge in professional settings, advocating for the strength found in humility and curiosity. This perspective is essential for personal growth and effective communication.
"without making a mountain out of what could have just been a molehill for the next point in my diary i've just written less answers and more questions you know so much of the the self-development care..."
Understanding Your Contribution Score
Steven elaborates on the idea of a 'contribution score,' explaining how it reflects one's credibility in conversations. He shares insights from his experiences in boardrooms and creative meetings, highlighting the contrast between those who contribute meaningfully and those who speak without knowledge. He stresses the importance of humility and the value of listening, asserting that a high contribution score is essential for gaining respect and trust in professional settings.
"preconceived bias and that preconceived opinion of what you have to say so even when you do have something valuable to add everybody will disregard it they'll pre-devalue it before it's even come out ..."
Key Questions for Personal Growth
In this segment, Steven introduces several critical questions he asks himself daily to foster personal growth. He emphasizes the significance of focusing on what one can control in stressful situations and encourages listeners to identify what they are avoiding. By confronting avoidance, he believes individuals can overcome obstacles and make better decisions aligned with their values.
"life and this brings me to the next point in my diary and i've written in my diary what are some of the most important questions i ask myself regularly and i when i say this i mean in all areas of my ..."
Aligning Decisions with Values
Steven discusses the importance of aligning daily decisions with personal values. He shares a series of reflective questions he uses to evaluate his choices, including considering what his idols would do and how future versions of himself would view his decisions. This introspection helps him make choices that are consistent with his long-term goals and values, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling life.
"get out of the situation i'm in and the second question which i ask myself religiously at least once a day and is actually held as a permanent point on my to-do list is what am i avoiding right now th..."
The Cost of Saying Yes
In this segment, Steven emphasizes the importance of understanding the implications of saying yes to opportunities. He references Steve Jobs' philosophy that prioritization is key to a meaningful life. By recognizing what one is saying no to when agreeing to something, individuals can make more informed decisions that align with their core values and priorities.
"and the next question that i like to ask myself regularly is if i'm saying yes to this thing then what am i saying no to i think it was steve jobs who once said that it's only by saying no to things t..."
Facing Fear: What's the Worst That Can Happen?
Steven concludes with a powerful question he uses to combat fear: 'What's the worst that can happen?' He shares personal anecdotes about overcoming anxiety before public speaking and emphasizes that the worst outcomes are often not as dire as imagined. This mindset shift can help individuals confront their fears and take action, leading to personal growth and resilience.
"and i'm going to throw in a bonus question i did say that was the last one but i'm going to give you a bonus question which i've just i've just been thinking about it's a little bit cliche but i promi..."
The Impact of Childhood Invalidation
Steven reflects on how experiences of invalidation in childhood shape adult behavior and the quest for validation. He discusses his own background of financial insecurity and how it led to a lifelong obsession with money. This segment highlights the importance of understanding childhood experiences to avoid repeating unhealthy patterns in adulthood.
"really hold dear and it's a question that i still turn to in moments of intense pressure and fear um fear of failure and i think it's a question that can change your life if you're a very fearful pers..."
Money: A Double-Edged Sword
In this segment, Steven explores his complicated relationship with money, stemming from his childhood experiences. He recounts how financial struggles led to a desire for wealth as a means of validation. This discussion serves as a cautionary tale about how unresolved childhood issues can manifest in unhealthy adult behaviors, particularly regarding money.
"you know you'd get the draught coming in from outside we live my back garden the grass in the background is about six foot high and there are fridges and tv sets and all kinds of nonsense in there in ..."
Understanding Your Psychological Triggers
Steven emphasizes the importance of recognizing and understanding the psychological triggers rooted in childhood experiences. He shares insights on how these triggers can control adult behavior if left unexamined. This segment encourages listeners to confront their past to liberate themselves from subconscious influences.
"or if i went to university at 18 years old dropped out started a business to try and make loads of money and then when i finally got money set 21 22 years old i had a really unhealthy relationship wit..."
Consciousness Overcoming: A Lifelong Journey
In this concluding segment, Steven discusses the ongoing journey of becoming conscious of one's psychological issues rather than seeking to completely overcome them. He reflects on how awareness of his past influences helps him make better decisions today. This segment underscores the idea that understanding oneself is key to personal growth and reducing the impact of childhood invalidation.
"honestly it has liberated me i wrote in my diary one day the reasons i'll go broke and it was pretty much this it was because i was broke when i was a kid and because that developed a really you know ..."