
60 segments available
This weeks episode entitled 'Patrice Evra: Learning How To Cry Saved My Life' topics: 0:00 Intro 04:00 Your early years 13:26 Child abuse 26:03 Your brother 28:16 Toxic masculinity 40:38 What does football mean to you 51:43 Joining Manchester United 01:05:02 Sir Alex Ferguson 01:13:51 You and Luis Suarez 01:26:19 Being the best person you can be 01:32:33 The last guests question Patrice: https://www.instagram.com/patrice.evra/?hl=en Patrice’s Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Patrice-Evra/e/B07FZD3YMC%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share The Diary Of A CEO live - Sign up here - https://g2ul0.app.link/diaryofaceolive Listen on: Apple podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-diary-of-a-ceo-by-steven-bartlett/id1291423644 Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/7iQXmUT7XGuZSzAMjoNWlX FOLLOW ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/steven/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/SteveBartlettSC Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steven-bartlett-56986834/ Sponsor - https://uk.huel.com/
Patrice Evra reflects on his life, describing himself as an iceberg, where the visible part is just a fraction of his true self. He shares his traumatic childhood experiences, including growing up in poverty with 24 siblings, being sexually abused, and the struggles he faced. This segment sets the stage for understanding the depth of his character beyond the football icon.
"me playing was it was just a dream growing up it's a family 24 brother and sister one breast chicken was for three days growing up in the street you need to survive now when i have those images in my ..."
Evra discusses his early childhood before the age of ten, highlighting the chaotic environment of his home life. He describes the happiness he felt despite the struggles, the impact of his father's departure, and the lessons he learned about vulnerability and masculinity. This segment emphasizes the complexities of his upbringing and the resilience he developed.
"i'm stephen bartlett and this is the dire ceo i hope nobody's listening but if you are then please keep this yourself i've sat here with a lot of guests and sometimes i feel obliged to start with thei..."
In this segment, Evra reflects on the emotional turmoil following his father's departure. He shares how this pivotal moment shifted his perspective on authority and responsibility, leading him to adopt a survival mentality. The discussion reveals the internal conflict he faced as a child trying to navigate his new reality without a father figure.
"scared of anyone in this house so now i have to grow up on my own and that's when i was like i would say more close to the street because when my dad was here you know just when i was saying like that..."
Evra describes his transformation into a 'warrior' and 'survivor' after his father's exit. He recounts experiences of street life, the challenges of fitting in, and the choices he made to assert his independence. This segment illustrates the harsh realities of his environment and the lengths he went to in order to survive.
"so did you witness that yeah i think like you know sometimes we try to open the door and uh if you open that door you know it was uh it was really scary you know and if you when you heard your mom lik..."
In this candid segment, Evra opens up about his early forays into crime, including stealing and selling drugs. He reflects on the peer pressure that drove him to these actions and the misguided sense of belonging it provided. This part of his story highlights the struggles of youth in difficult circumstances and the choices made in search of acceptance.
"my mom was so worried like and i remember it was so funny because some words i didn't even know what they mean so when they bring me back home and my mom was you know just she taught her like a hand o..."
Evra shares a harrowing experience from his teenage years when he was sexually assaulted by his headmaster. He discusses the confusion and fear he felt during this traumatic event, emphasizing the importance of speaking out against abuse. This segment sheds light on the darker aspects of his childhood and the long-lasting effects of such betrayal.
"did you talk about in the book and the opening chapters of the book about your headmaster yeah and you were 13 years old you um you ended up staying at his house and he sexually assaulted you yeah i t..."
In this segment, Evra reflects on the shame and confusion that followed his abuse. He shares how he never disclosed the incidents to his mother and the internal conflict he faced as he grew up. This silence contributed to feelings of cowardice and guilt, emphasizing the importance of speaking out against abuse and the societal pressures that often prevent victims from doing so.
"you know um we fight many times and he didn't succeed and he was you know now when i have those image in my head i could hear him trying to touch me and touching himself in the same time next to the b..."
Evra discusses the long-term effects of his childhood trauma, including how it affected his relationships and self-perception. He describes feeling like a coward for not speaking out when he had the chance, and how this trauma influenced his life choices, including his decision to leave school and train alone in football. This segment highlights the deep-rooted impact of unresolved trauma.
"what happened because you know those things you just like erase them from your memory so i back to school i think in school i was thinking about what's what happened it's like something not normal the..."
In this poignant segment, Evra recounts a moment when he was contacted by the police regarding complaints about the same teacher who abused him. He reflects on his anger and shame for not having spoken up earlier, illustrating the struggle many survivors face when confronted with their past. This moment serves as a catalyst for his journey towards healing and self-acceptance.
"that school anymore so yeah i grew up with that things for so many years and what i feel as a coward is when i was 24 years old not 20 years old and i was still playing for monaco at the time and the ..."
Evra shares how opening up about his trauma to his partner, Margot, was a transformative experience. He describes the relief and strength he felt after finally expressing his emotions, challenging the notion of toxic masculinity that discourages men from showing vulnerability. This segment emphasizes the importance of emotional honesty in relationships and personal healing.
"you're scared of the reaction of the people but doing that that day that's why growing up when people say patrice you're good guys i i wasn't feeling that that way because i was feeling as a coward a ..."
In this segment, Evra discusses the societal expectations of masculinity that he grew up with and how they shaped his behavior. He reflects on the lessons learned from his partner about embracing emotions and the need for men to redefine strength. This conversation highlights the importance of breaking free from toxic masculinity for healthier relationships and self-acceptance.
"don't showing emotion i think a woman can you know extract those real emotions from myself i was like wow 30 years old there was a day you told you shared that with her yeah can you tell me about that..."
Evra talks about his journey of self-discovery and the realization that he can embrace both his masculine and feminine sides. He reflects on how his past experiences shaped his identity and the importance of being open to change. This segment underscores the significance of personal growth and the ongoing journey of understanding oneself.
"like i'm fine i'm fine then one day we watched something and it was about pedophile and stuff so [Music] again she looked at my face she said like you okay i said yeah i'm okay why you ask me no but t..."
In this reflective segment, Evra discusses his approach to parenting and the lessons he wants to impart to his son. He acknowledges the challenges of overcoming ingrained beliefs about masculinity and the importance of allowing emotional expression. This conversation highlights the role of parents in shaping future generations and the need for emotional intelligence in raising children.
"do you want to see a uh do you go for do you want to go for therapy and i said i'm fine i told you no patrice you're going to explode one day you need to you know let it out then when i cry and i feel..."
Evra shares a touching moment with his partner during her pregnancy, where he instinctively cried in response to her distress. This segment illustrates his growth in understanding that expressing emotions is not a weakness but a strength. It emphasizes the importance of emotional connection in relationships and the journey towards embracing vulnerability.
"crying is a strain and you know when you grow in the streets just like holding the hand of your girlfriend is a sign of weakness you're not allowed to do that so i'm discovering myself we're going to ..."
Patrice Evra discusses the challenges of breaking free from toxic masculinity, especially as a father. He reflects on his initial reluctance to allow his son to express emotions like crying, contrasting it with his wife's desire for their child to embrace vulnerability. This segment highlights the struggle of redefining masculinity and the importance of emotional expression in parenting.
"feminine you know emotion in that time i won't survive because we know women are more emotional than men so what you just said to me i'm like yeah patrice you want to fight against that uh toxic mascu..."
In this segment, Evra shares a poignant moment with his pregnant partner, where he unexpectedly cried alongside her. This experience opened his eyes to the depth of emotional connection and vulnerability in relationships. He emphasizes the importance of being able to express feelings and how it strengthens bonds, particularly in a romantic context.
"nah i want i don't want him to cry when he fall and everything and the funny part is when she was still pregnant uh you know one woman this is more about relationship because now i know relationship i..."
Evra and his conversation partner explore the concept of a 'safe space' in relationships, where both partners can express their feelings without judgment. They discuss how this environment fosters deeper understanding and healing during conflicts, allowing for growth and stronger connections. This segment emphasizes the transformative power of open communication.
"you're just a different man we had a rule if we argue because don't get me wrong we argue like normal couple we're not special but it's just like we don't put it under the carpet we fix it but not lik..."
The discussion shifts to the healing aspects of vulnerability in relationships. Evra reflects on how sharing insecurities and emotions can strengthen bonds rather than weaken them. He highlights the importance of understanding and empathy in fostering meaningful connections, particularly among men who often struggle with expressing their feelings.
"way you feel about her the sense like when she's not by your side you didn't know a love like this existed i was saying that this morning i've just left her in indonesia and i was saying i didn't real..."
Evra and his partner delve into the process of unlearning toxic masculinity and its impact on personal relationships. They discuss the slow journey of recognizing and overcoming ingrained behaviors that hinder emotional expression. This segment underscores the importance of awareness and the ongoing effort required to foster healthier relationships.
"things i think is going to form a big part of my life too as you've successfully done with this book is trying to tell men without having to meet the women like we met how to be in touch with their th..."
Evra shares how football served as both an escape and a passion during his childhood. He recounts the challenges he faced growing up and how the sport provided a sense of purpose and belonging. This segment highlights the role of sports in shaping identity and offering a pathway to success despite adversity.
"one that goes you know because even i some i have to be very aware of that part of me the masculine ego part of me and i always think with trauma and with these kinds of things you never actually full..."
In this segment, Evra reflects on his determination to become a professional footballer despite facing skepticism from others. He recounts the pivotal moments that fueled his ambition and the mental strength required to pursue his dreams. This narrative emphasizes resilience and the importance of believing in oneself against all odds.
"an oreo milkshake so having it in my home makes health convenience so order your heel subscription join me on this journey i'm announcing something soon actually for people that want to get in shape i..."
In this heartfelt segment, Evra recounts the joy of signing his first football contract at 17. He describes the happiness of wearing his team's tracksuit and the pride he felt when he could finally provide for his family. This moment marked a significant turning point in his life, symbolizing his escape from hardship and the beginning of his professional journey.
"and that's the scary things when i think about it now because some of my friends or some people they were like patrice you know school is important you should have your diploma and stuff i was like i ..."
Evra shares the challenges he faced while living in Sicily, including financial struggles and the harsh realities of life as a young footballer. He recalls the sacrifices his family made and the emotional toll it took on them. Despite the difficulties, his love for football kept him motivated, showcasing his determination to succeed against all odds.
"phone i remember that day so you know when people ask me what is your best memory when you play football that was my best memory not winning the champions league or when i was 17 you know that kid and..."
In this segment, Evra discusses the moment he felt safe in his football career after distancing himself from negative influences, including the mafia. He reflects on how signing with a new agent and moving to a better club allowed him to support his family and find stability. This transition marked a significant improvement in his life and career.
"time even some people they still take advantage because when i signed my first contract actually i signed a paper with the mafia the italian mafia and i was their property and i didn't doubt i found o..."
Evra shares a touching story about his promise to buy his mother a house once he achieved success in football. He reflects on the pride he felt when he was able to fulfill that promise, emphasizing the importance of family and gratitude. This moment stands out as one of his greatest achievements, highlighting his commitment to giving back to those who supported him.
"doing here you know i was like mommy i just love football she was like but you have nothing look where you live i was you know it was like if you see my first flight i mean like they allowed me to liv..."
In this candid segment, Evra discusses the challenges of fame and how people often come back into your life when you achieve success. He reflects on the emotional complexities of his journey, including the support from his mother and the struggles they faced together. This segment captures the bittersweet nature of success and the importance of staying grounded.
"on a football game is was there a moment where where that changed and where you no longer started to dread the final whistle blowing because your life off the pitch was somewhere to look forward to it..."
Evra recounts the moment he received a call from Manchester United, sharing his initial overconfidence and excitement about the opportunity. He describes the secret meeting with Sir Alex Ferguson and the expectations that came with joining such a prestigious club. This segment highlights the pressure and responsibility he felt as he transitioned into a new chapter of his career.
"you know when my dad left and in school they gave you like a little money and my dad was taking this money to send it to senegal to my older brother and sister so i remember my sister [Music] went aft..."
In this segment, Evra reflects on the intense pressure he faced upon joining Manchester United. He shares his experiences during his first game and the challenges of adapting to the Premier League. This candid discussion reveals the mental and emotional hurdles he had to overcome as he sought to prove himself in a new environment.
"bought her a house in senegal before i bought of course with my money when i play for monaco my porsche and everything cars because i like cars not now anymore because i understand how stupid it is bu..."
Evra opens up about the difficulties he faced during his initial months at Manchester United, including doubts from his agent and struggles on the pitch. He shares how he managed to regain confidence and find his footing in the team, emphasizing the importance of resilience and determination in overcoming setbacks.
"and uh manchester united i'm uh yeah i can't i can't imagine what that would have been like getting a getting a call that that's uh but you will laugh because before united i was that being of i will ..."
In this segment, Evra discusses the challenges of adapting to the fast-paced nature of English football. He shares a humorous anecdote about his first game and the physicality of the league. This light-hearted reflection highlights his journey of embracing the challenge and learning to thrive in a new environment.
"you're supposed to say it was a childhood dream yeah it was just like it's just me i'm playing football so watching football is like going to work that's when i was young but now as a pundit i have to..."
Evra emphasizes the significance of authenticity in his career, particularly during his time at Manchester United. He reflects on how Ferguson encouraged him to be himself and the support he felt from the club. This segment underscores the value of self-expression and the freedom to be true to oneself in a competitive environment.
"will have to do and all the stuff even if some people they drink and they do many things but it was about more the winning mentality and when he shake mine he looked straight in my eyes and when you l..."
In this candid discussion, Evra addresses the issue of toxic masculinity in football. He shares his experiences of feeling pressured to conform to certain expectations and the importance of vulnerability. This segment highlights the need for change within the sport and the significance of mental health awareness.
"you know the way you are and that's what's really important even if i think everyone knew the story of my first game i think i said well yeah just crazy because i just came back i just trained with th..."
Evra shares his experiences during his first Premier League match, detailing the physicality and intensity of the game. He reflects on the challenges he faced and the lessons learned from that experience. This segment captures the reality of playing at the highest level and the adjustments required to succeed.
"i play i say i play don't ask me why you know in manchester it's never sunny in nine years i just done like three barbecue in nine years that day was so hot the sun was like on my i was like dude i'm ..."
In this segment, Evra discusses the doubts he faced from his agent and the pressure to perform at Manchester United. He reflects on how he managed to overcome those challenges and regain confidence in his abilities. This candid reflection highlights the importance of perseverance and self-belief in the face of adversity.
"but he get even worse and worse after that so we lost the game i back home and my italian agent with his wife were staying with me in my flat and my agent looked at me like this he said patrice i'm so..."
Evra discusses how he turned around his early struggles at Manchester United by focusing on his performance and determination. He recalls a pivotal match against Liverpool that helped regain his confidence and the support he received from teammates like Rio Ferdinand.
"so after that i know i play a liverpool game a good game we win 1-0 rio ferdinand scored the winning goal and everything and i had a great game so he backed but the first six months was really difficu..."
In this segment, Evra reflects on the immense pressure that comes with playing for Manchester United. He emphasizes that this pressure is a privilege and shares his desire to meet Sir Alex Ferguson's expectations, highlighting the culture of winning at the club.
"end of january because you know you miss half of the season so after i missed the world cup my fellow french teammates luisa and michael they went to the world cup 2006 i was filming i back to monaco ..."
Evra reveals the personal sacrifices he made for his career at Manchester United, including the impact on his family life. He shares a poignant story about his son expressing resentment towards the club for taking his father away, illustrating the emotional toll of professional football.
"you played in a lot of teams i sat here with ray ferdinand as well i asked him a very similar question what was it that made manchester united achieve the success they achieved this is so many things ..."
Patrice discusses the paradox of success at Manchester United, where winning became an expectation rather than a celebration. He recounts the aftermath of winning the Champions League and how it felt hollow due to the relentless pursuit of more victories.
"so it's about respect what make manchester united was like i have many coaches that say winning is important but ferguson winning in united is normal like the goal is to win like four trophy per seaso..."
In this segment, Evra describes how the culture of winning at Manchester United can lead to a robotic mentality, where players become desensitized to their achievements. He reflects on the emotional disconnect that can arise from constant pressure to perform.
"fan i remember i went home and i was with my back i drop it i was like this is the feeling of winning the champions league and the league i was like wow but the problem you become a robot so you're no..."
Evra shares his complex relationship with Sir Alex Ferguson, discussing moments of conflict and respect. He emphasizes the importance of not questioning authority in public while also maintaining a personal dialogue with the manager.
"that's what i did i gave you an example you know my first son lenny he was three years old and i came back home one day and he was crying i said why are you crying he said because i hate manchester un..."
Patrice recounts a significant disappointment when he was benched for a cup final despite his strong performances. He reflects on the emotional fallout from that decision and how it affected his relationship with Ferguson.
"it's interesting because when you were younger you had a problem with authority exactly ferguson is the ultimate authority i still in different way i still you know ferguson sometimes he child on me i..."
In this segment, Evra discusses the aftermath of the cup final loss and his feelings of anger and disappointment. He describes how he expressed his frustration and the subsequent conversation with Ferguson that led to a reconciliation.
"you can go after and that's what i was doing with ferguson so i tell you one game we play against tottenham winning tune in halftime playing the best game in my life i promise you i was like wow on fi..."
Evra reflects on the theme of forgiveness in his relationship with Ferguson after the cup final incident. He discusses how understanding and communication helped mend their relationship, despite the lingering questions about the past.
"for and justice like i stand up but i keep my mouth shut i was biting my lips even people they were in shock they were scared like gigs everyone was like what's going on came back they're going off we..."
Patrice Evra shares a pivotal moment in his career when he felt disrespected by Sir Alex Ferguson after not being played in a crucial match against Chelsea. He recounts his anger and frustration, leading him to consider leaving Manchester United. However, after a heartfelt apology from Ferguson, Evra reflects on the importance of forgiveness and the complexities of their relationship.
"so i remember after 10 minutes he asked me to warm up we weren't playing well i warm up for 80 minutes it was even like the smoking like i was like first of all i was really angry and i was like runni..."
Evra discusses the infamous on-pitch altercation with Luis Suarez, where he was racially insulted. He describes the emotional turmoil and the media circus that followed, highlighting the challenges of maintaining composure in a high-stakes environment. This segment delves into the impact of racism in football and Evra's personal journey through the incident.
"the reasons especially what's happening in the favor and the joke and i never asked him the reason but yeah i was uh that's that's it that's what i was i don't want to play for united anymore are you ..."
In this segment, Evra reflects on the aftermath of the Suarez incident, including the threats he received and the security measures taken for his protection. He emphasizes the importance of standing up against racism, not just for himself but for the broader community, and shares his thoughts on the responsibility of football players and organizations in combating racism.
"the topic of forgiveness um suarez suarez um in an altercation on the pitch he called you negrito i was watching that game which is a offensive word for um a black person that incident was a um was a ..."
Evra recounts a surprising moment of reconciliation with Jamie Carragher, who apologized for the events surrounding the Suarez incident. This segment explores the theme of forgiveness and the complexities of human relationships, as Evra reflects on the importance of moving forward without hatred.
"we tell him he take note but by the way even in the on the pitch i said to the referee did you hear what he just said he called me with the n word come on patrice he called me with the n word play pla..."
Evra discusses the roots of racism and the need for education to combat it. He shares personal anecdotes about confronting his own family's prejudices and emphasizes that change begins at home. This segment highlights the importance of dialogue and understanding in overcoming societal issues.
"need that because i'm from the streets so come on we don't need protection but the freight we're real that's why my united say patrice even if you don't need that we need so for for three months like ..."
In this segment, Evra speaks about the significance of embracing all religions and cultures, advocating for love and understanding over division. He shares his belief that being a good human being transcends religious labels, and emphasizes the need for unity in the face of adversity.
"word and they support him and he was kevin douglas i remember i hate so much kevin douglas to let this happen that day and the karma he gets sacked after one month after that game so i did a a tv show..."
Evra recounts a personal conflict with his father over differing views on Islam following the Paris attacks. This segment illustrates the challenges of standing up for one's beliefs, even against family, and the importance of dialogue in fostering understanding and acceptance.
"and when i put and he did and i was like you put your hand out he didn't yeah and i was like i'm going to kill him now i remember that game i even take a real third you know you can see because i want..."
Evra emphasizes that racism is taught and can be unlearned through education. He discusses the responsibility of individuals and society to address prejudices and the importance of teaching future generations about acceptance and love.
"yeah have you forgiven him yeah but because like i say that's when now we i want to talk a little bit about the racism and uh like i said to people is about education no one born as a racist person an..."
In this segment, Evra critiques the football industry for its lack of action against racism, contrasting it with the swift response to the European Super League protests. He calls for a unified and determined approach to combat racism in football, urging players and organizations to take a stand.
"then i did that post when i say i think it's not time to to spread your anger your you know is we should pray for the people we lost and by the way i read the quran islam is such a beautiful religion ..."
Evra discusses the role of social media in perpetuating racism and the need for platforms to take responsibility. He highlights the emotional toll that online abuse can have on individuals and stresses the importance of addressing these issues seriously.
"super league a project that project didn't even start we shut down that project in 24 hours i remember i watched on tv my ex teammate upon the shooting the fun fighting burning things like i was like ..."
Evra reflects on his personal philosophy of striving to be the best human being he can be. He shares his experiences of giving back to the community, including opening shelters in Senegal, and emphasizes the importance of kindness and making a positive impact on the world.
"other people they're gonna read comment about them they're gonna even suicide you know when we're talking about the mental health so you have to explain me one things one is about the kovid 90 you get..."
In this closing segment, Evra uses the iceberg analogy to describe how people often only see the surface of who he is. He reflects on his journey, the challenges he has faced, and the deeper purpose he has found beyond football, emphasizing the importance of understanding the full story behind individuals.
"to to like i'll be honest with you now and i say that not to make myself looking good when i do a video and i see a comment someone say oh patrice my dad passed away i watch one of your video and i sm..."
Patrice uses the iceberg analogy to describe his personality, suggesting that much of who he is lies beneath the surface. He discusses his leadership style and the importance of sharing and caring for others, revealing the depth of his character that many may not see.
"the real patrice and you know many managers they named me captain of the you know i remember the first time like ferguson said you're going to be the captain and rio was still playing geeks and wayne ..."
In this segment, Evra opens up about his struggles with anger and the challenges of being a public figure. He reflects on a controversial incident in his career and emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself rather than striving for perfection.
"it was just magic like my woman just wanted to lock me down in that island and didn't want me to coming back and i won't be able to do actually this podcast today so so we did it i come back to realit..."
Evra and the host discuss the importance of vulnerability and creating safe spaces for men to express their emotions. They highlight how sharing personal stories can liberate individuals and encourage others to open up about their struggles.
"some people i am an example for them but i don't want it's not like i want to be an example for anyone i just want to be me if i inspire people then perfect you are an iceberg you're definitely an ice..."
Patrice expresses gratitude for the opportunity to share his story and the impact it can have on others. He encourages listeners to trust someone with their struggles and emphasizes the importance of living authentically and being kind to the universe.
"so i want to thank you for that i think that's uh one of the most um amazing things you can do and you've done that with this book and um on behalf of everybody that has the chance of reading it and i..."
In a heartfelt moment, Evra shares who he would invite to dinner if he could choose anyone, highlighting the significance of connection and the desire to engage with people who inspire him. This segment encapsulates the themes of connection, influence, and personal growth.
"just one more question for you this is a question this is a new tradition we've started patrice where the previous guest on this podcast leaves a question for the next guest so the previous guest left..."