"could you do me a quick favor if you're listening to this please hit the follow or subscribe button it helps more than you know and we invite subscribers in every month to watch the show in person i h..."

"so without further ado i'm stephen bartlett and this is the diary of a ceo i hope nobody's listening but if you are then please keep this yourself [Music] johnny um you went on to become one of the re..."

"the other hand i had this ever-present fear that i built this if you like defense mechanism coping strategy but ultimately identity around how to somehow survive that fear and that that for me that me..."

"when you talked about your childhood there you said despite there being a traumatic event that had created this kind of perspective you had about um this sort of fear but also this sense of real peace..."

"can't imagine it was easy my brother too and the way that i was i was sort of i challenged them in ways you know i didn't give up and a lot of that like i said was well all of the the irrational stuff..."

"hold and one of those is that that you know i find it fascinating to look at yeah i've got a young child and i find it fascinating to look at children enter and they're all so different how are they s..."

"know i mean in my dms and messages i get from kids it's this kind of outside external search for this easter egg that they were born to find called their passion and their purpose yeah and when they c..."

"on your peace yeah so talk to me about identity and the journey you've been on there um i think for me perhaps overriding understanding and it comes i think from a lot of the way i doubt my sort of im..."

"trying to get that that same hit just meant more and more reassurance so you're building i was building greater habits and needs to keep suffering so i could keep solving so you lock yourself into tha..."

"trying to do with all this identity was answer something was answer a problem the identity was creating the problem and the identity was about solving the problem i had to keep the problem to keep the..."

"um an ev expanding beautiful journey which when you remove the answer it's no longer a journey because it's not going anywhere it's an adventure and then that's what the now feels like to me i think y..."

"something went well that was the time to be like oh you know this is where your life might have lost out because i'm doing well so life's not gonna how's life gonna come back and get me because i've j..."

"obsession on the training ground right because you describe that obsession on the training ground is actually a distraction from the fear that like really never worked in terms of filling the void um ..."

"yeah it's a it's a good one and in some ways i'd have answered that quite simply by saying it was when i was at my best that i was already doing this so in 1718 when i was on the field in the zone i w..."

"for anything now and i think working with guys now is the best way to answer this is that i'm kind of answering that question by working with people in that younger space and one thing that's certainl..."

"flow state in that moment yeah i mean whatever flow state means to to anyone it's basically that kind of understanding i guess that there was for me what felt like a very very immediate relationship b..."

"definitely but it wasn't a brand new thing it was just a bit of a a deeper i guess experience of it it came for better or for worse for um well i mean guess depending on how you look at the challenge ..."

"that you describe it as a deeper drop just just a a sense of confusion and sort of bewilderment with the idea that there was a promise here there was a promise albeit one i've made to myself but it's ..."

"ending but of course hollywood films have that privilege of the credits coming up and and leaves you with your imagination and your imagination it always just it's not in detail but you just think wow..."

"at some point understand that there's also a really great reason for why you feel that way because it's just it's a it's a pointer to there's a disconnect here it's nothing to do with what's going on ..."

"what also didn't help was the the game after that i first played after that for my club was two weeks later and in that game i crossed the line on a neck injury it'd been building for a long long time..."

"and again and again which was the stress of all that that need and obsession it's enough because just enough of the old habits and the triggers come in with people around you saying oh you're doing gr..."

"you were trying to get to the point of understanding um all you can be is that what you're describing there i i think what comes to mind when you're saying that for me was and it's also another way of..."

"environmental conditions internally for creativity effortlessness relaxation excitement passion and ultimately on the spiritual level worthiness and i think that you know when i say about for me that'..."

"ever is a very strong idea this is there are some game right yeah yeah and that's hugely massive comparison massive competition massive measuring up massive dependence upon other people's views yeah h..."

"right now i'm just going to be completely honest with you i'm starting to think a lot about slimming down a little bit because over the last couple of probably the last four or five months my diet has..."

"fulfilling the the roles if you like of society and i think therefore for me the way that works is that you you add to the passion excitement constantly and allow that to look after your deepest inten..."

"doing but you've got to start the ball rolling by saying right within this moment right now how can i what's my highest passion excitement how can i be how can i bring more of me into this as opposed ..."

"and i think that's the key to is to be able to say whatever it is whatever you can do do it and bring it to this and i think that voice that says oh i can't do this i can't do that it's not possible i..."

"agree the idea about following your highest passion there is a passion i think deep down is for expressing who you are and there's no doubt for me that rugby for that period of my life was what i was ..."

"just do it in in the name of moving to your potential because we were so willing to to give to our limits look at how many years we spend suffering and telling ourselves certain things that have come ..."

"you know like these projects for me the next things i'm doing seem to just kind of oh yeah there it is that's interesting whereas before it was oh god get out of there don't you dare whatever it is i ..."

"you nailed it when you described me as well with that when you said um the drive that i had that was really strong was actually upon reflection just deep insecurity yeah still a big drive there it's s..."

"that trust is just it may have taken 40 years to get to this point from a but from an experiential level i don't feel 40 years has gone into this it's been instantaneous because it's just memory it's ..."

"unknown which is why i didn't want to go before you know that's the the the unknown was the threat the unknown was the was the potential slip up we're talking about was that kind of shady space where ..."

"this the vulnerability is an interesting word because it assumes it makes you feel a certain way but this this truth and this openness that you speak um which is kind of marks the way you speak now th..."

"now going to be so open about it the same way that i might have been unconsciously closed before you know still kind of not speaking about stuff not because i'm sitting there thinking i'm not talking ..."

"about that it's planned on the basis of i'm trying to achieve an outcome from this but when it become which again is that whole kind of like what i create what i actually create defines who i am so wh..."

"now if you people are saying about how what's the best thing to do if someone's struggling is like just be there for them okay but you mean like just physically stand there and be loving and but all i..."

"that i've i've called for and this has been offered and i think i'm going to explore this you know because it feels right that it's in my path and we had a chat and midway through the chat it came to ..."

"but a talk like this and give it the whole kind of yeah well i guess if you're going to play sport you know all this son of stuff but instead you phone up and suddenly i realized i'd lost that idea of..."

"really care for someone is to completely let go of your own ideas of them and in order to do that you have to let go of yours about you and i think that's the selfless side of it it's funny that expre..."

"new level interesting you're essentially using them to confirm the the identity to fill the whole yeah makes me feel like i'm your mentor yeah yeah exactly yeah yeah so you know i need at the end of i..."

"twists and turns it seems i remember vividly reading that you you're in your hotel room and you're playing days looking at the tv and it's basically just lights because your head is overthinking at an..."

"issue and we can't pass each other and the fear then kicks in the lack of control the the panic kicks in which again that hysterical nature of it you know it tells me that it's you know it's not ratio..."

"come back i don't want it to go that way so i bring it to the middle and then i try and work it the other way and it's like i don't want it to go that way and it's this classic two voices you mentione..."

"that i'm working with not external truths you know external situations and and they're not this is the way the world is and unfortunately therefore this is ways that's the voice that comes from old id..."

"sustainable switches in our lives so if this resonates with you and you're the type of person that's been looking or thinking about going on your own sustainability journey i highly recommend checking..."

"understanding himself in truth and finding a way to not be this tough guy anymore and to be compassionate and loving and to be all he could be right um are you happy it's a i was just thinking that wh..."

"think that's a sign you know i feel like as was underneath so much of the the the rugby stuff the achievement stuff the savior stuff the warrior stuff the mata stuff it was always a case of i'm not en..."

"here because we're supposed to be here and what's great is that you know that finding out your your passion your your your joy and your true minis is not something you need to worry about just somethi..."

"of becoming all you can be i think it must be the same i don't know for for all people i did hear eckhart tolle say that relationships were the spiritual work for the west you know it's for these i do..."

"as i said before you know working on someone else really doesn't work for anyone but working on yourself tends to work for everyone and i know you have a uh is it's like a kombucha-style drink right i..."

"their bars have been constructed and and i think that was the difference for me is that i spent my life being very fit but not really that healthy and fitness is an interesting one i think everyone ki..."

"the idea that i would sort of have to look under the sofa for something i'd be like i'm gonna have to live like take me about three minutes to get down and five to get back up but there's a real grace..."

"it um and the the balance between all these kind of bacteria and even viruses and all kinds of things that going on us is imperative to our intelligence and how we operate so that's been effort behind..."

"sitters the same way we've become great rugby players or whatever it is so our bodies are starting to shape towards that and they're forgetting everything we knew before and now you find sometimes the..."

"what have you is about not being overweight trying not to perish of anything before your time um but you know and maybe hang on to being able to do some stuff when you're still reasonably young it's h..."

"johnny um a truly remarkable conversation and it really highlights to me uh i was thinking that this guy should have a podcast and i reminded myself that you've just launched your podcast which is cal..."

"really brilliant podcast for i mean i didn't need to i don't even need to just explain why having listened to this conversation today um but yeah i just i've absolutely loved loved this conversation a..."

"you know i i might not be sort of my future life is uncertain because i'm really willing to to sort of give so much to this whereas to be seen as illogical and a bit irrational in that area um it's qu..."

"react according to the life that we want you to live can we react according to the life that you should be living one way you sit here and show how much you care and how disappointed you are whereas i..."

"so excited that you're now a podcaster as well and i'm really excited to watch that journey play out and to see where that that journey leads you because it's you never know with podcasting as i didn'..."