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The "Happy Life" Scientist: How To FINALLY Beat Stress, Worry & Uncertainty! Dacher Keltner | E219
50 segments available
Dacher Keltner is an American professor at the University of California, Berkeley and founder of the Greater Good Science Center. His research focuses on the science of emotions, such as compassion, love, power, and awe. Topics: 0:00 Intro 02:47 Your professional background 05:10 Findings about keeping younger 06:59 The feeling of awe 22:10 Why did you write this book? 29:35 The link between gratitude 38:51 Monogamy 48:02 Do we become worse people as we get richer? 01:02:45 Why has life expectancy declined? 01:15:28 Compassion 01:19:51 The power of touch 01:33:04 The last guest’s question Dacher: Website - http://bit.ly/3HtgCuQ Dacher’s book - https://bit.ly/3YrvAIB Join this channel to get access to perks: https://bit.ly/3Dpmgx5 Listen on: Apple podcast - https://apple.co/3TTvxDf Spotify - https://spoti.fi/3VX3yEw Follow: Instagram: https://bit.ly/3CXkF0d Twitter: https://bit.ly/3wBA6bA Linkedin: https://bit.ly/3z3CSYM Telegram: https://g2ul0.app.link/SBExclusiveCommunity Sponsors: Intel - https://bit.ly/3FxWMO2 Huel - https://g2ul0.app.link/G4RjcdKNKsb Bluejeans - https://g2ul0.app.link/NCgpGjVNKsb
Segments Timeline
The Power of Touch
Dacher Keltner discusses the profound impact of physical touch on human health, emphasizing that skin-to-skin contact can significantly improve life expectancy and reduce stress. He shares findings from studies on premature babies that highlight the necessity of human connection for survival and well-being, illustrating how compassion and kindness can create a ripple effect of positivity.
"life expectancy's been declining yeah the last few years how do we reverse that Trend these are the five safest things to do Dr Decker Keltner a renowned expert in the science of human emotion discove..."
The Ripple Effect of Kindness
Keltner explains how acts of kindness not only benefit the giver but also inspire kindness in others. He presents evidence that practicing compassion can extend life expectancy by several years, showcasing the interconnectedness of human emotions and social behaviors. This segment emphasizes the importance of fostering a compassionate society for overall well-being.
"that subscribe button helps this channel more than I could ever explain the guests on this platform are incredible because so many of you have hit that button and I know when we think about what we wa..."
Awe and Its Health Benefits
In this segment, Keltner delves into the feeling of awe and its physiological benefits. He explains how experiencing awe can reduce inflammation and improve immune function, making it a powerful tool for enhancing health. Keltner shares insights on how simple practices, like mindful breathing and appreciating nature, can cultivate awe in daily life.
"let's talk about some of the things that you've you've given away in terms of knowledge and some of the sort of discoveries that I think would surprise most people you mentioned some of them in passin..."
The Science of Awe
Keltner elaborates on the science behind awe, describing it as an emotion triggered by encounters with vastness or mystery. He discusses how awe can stimulate creativity and wonder, and shares research findings that demonstrate its positive effects on mental health. This segment encourages listeners to seek out awe in everyday experiences to enhance their well-being.
"someone yeah Oz just feeling an emotion you have when you encounter something big or vast that's outside of your frame of reference right of reality that you don't understand that I I think I like the..."
Walking for Awe
Keltner introduces the concept of the 'awe walk,' a simple practice that combines walking with mindfulness and appreciation of the environment. He shares research showing that this practice can lead to reduced anxiety and increased joy, particularly in older adults. This segment highlights the accessibility of awe and its potential to improve mental health through everyday activities.
"can bring to us talk to me about some some science then um that supports that assertion where yeah the science shows that every day or so like accessible or yeah the all that I could go get out in the..."
Evolutionary Basis of Awe
In this segment, Keltner discusses the evolutionary significance of awe and its role in fostering cooperation and social bonds among humans. He contrasts traditional views of competition in evolution with emerging perspectives that emphasize our innate tendency for generosity and connection. This exploration of awe's evolutionary roots underscores its importance in human relationships and community building.
"um the you know in 1978 I think Richard Dawkins published selfish Gene massive book right you know if you read that it's it the argument which is true is there we are the we have these genes that are ..."
The Perspective of the Universe
In this segment, Keltner explores the transformative power of looking up at the stars, discussing how it can shift our perspective on individualism and our place in the universe. He highlights the liberating feeling of recognizing our smallness in the grand scheme of things.
"of this people right the other the other time was actually last week I was at SoHo Farmhouse which is a sort of like a uh like a hotel Village they've constructed where you can go on the weekend to be..."
Awe and the Self
Keltner delves into the philosophical and spiritual traditions surrounding awe, discussing how it can lead to a sense of ego dissolution. He references historical figures and texts that illustrate the profound impact of awe on our understanding of self and existence.
"thing I guess yeah thank you for bringing that up you know and one of the simple actionable things that we've been teaching at greater good we have a practice on this is look at the sky just like look..."
Finding Liberation in Insignificance
Keltner reflects on how recognizing our insignificance can be liberating, especially in moments of stress. He shares personal insights on how this realization can help alleviate anxiety and provide a healthier perspective on life's challenges.
"and what's striking Stephen which you know it took us a long time to figure this out scientifically is it actually feels liberating you know oh it's the you know what when I'm stressed I remind myself..."
The Journey of Grief and Awe
In this poignant segment, Keltner recounts the loss of his brother and how it propelled him to seek awe in his life again. He shares the profound experiences he had during his brother's illness and passing, illustrating how grief can lead to a deeper understanding of awe.
"or whatever probably a couple of years but but that's what's great about I on the human mind right is we we need the ego and the self and we need to maximize our interests and desires and reproductive..."
The Search for Meaning
Keltner discusses the broader cultural context of loneliness and the search for meaning in life. He emphasizes how awe can play a crucial role in helping individuals find purpose beyond material pursuits, especially in a world marked by anxiety and depression.
"like like you're saying like this is all this is just one human's effort so why did you write this book of all the things you could have written about you're a very smart individual you've studied so ..."
Rediscovering Awe After Loss
Keltner shares his personal journey of rediscovering awe after the death of his brother. He describes how he sought out new experiences and connections to reignite a sense of wonder and meaning in his life, emphasizing the importance of openness to new sources of awe.
"like born in Mexico and raised in the late 60s in Laurel Canyon a very experimental Place wandering the foothills of the Sierras and and uh he was my source of meaning in many ways in life um and he g..."
Everyday Awe and Its Importance
In this segment, Keltner introduces the concept of 'everyday awe' and how it can be found in simple moments. He discusses the significance of recognizing awe in daily life and how it can enhance our well-being and connection to others.
"about him and he features prominently in the book you know what he meant to me and how I grieved his loss and then worked up the science too so in many ways you know what we're observing in our our gl..."
Awe vs. Gratitude: Understanding the Distinction
Keltner explores the relationship between awe and gratitude, discussing how both emotions are vital for human connection. He highlights the differences between them, noting that awe often relates to vast experiences while gratitude is tied to personal interactions and kindness.
"there's almost an injustice I had in that story because of the way you characterized your brother and his behavior yeah for him then to have passed early from cancer yeah feels in many respects to me ..."
The Connection Between Gratitude and Awe
Dacher Keltner explores the relationship between gratitude and awe, discussing how both emotions contribute to our understanding of the world. He highlights the philosophical traditions that inform our appreciation for these feelings, emphasizing how gratitude can foster connections and reverence for life's gifts.
"train with the act of generosity that is now it just feels alive all the time what's kind of the through line to gratitude because when you were talking about the whole question when you picked up thi..."
Experiencing Awe Through Music
Keltner shares a personal experience of feeling awe during a live performance, illustrating how music can evoke deep emotional responses. He reflects on the power of sound waves to create a sense of connection and transcendence, emphasizing the unique nature of awe compared to gratitude.
"difference if there is one yeah what a terrific question and there's a deep philosophical tradition um of David David Hume Scottish philosopher um Charles Darwin Martha Nussbaum more recently a Chicag..."
The Science of Gratitude
Dacher discusses the significant positive impacts of practicing gratitude, supported by scientific research. He explains how gratitude can enhance cardiovascular health, strengthen social ties, and improve romantic relationships, making it a vital practice for a happier life.
"like wow this is really important and sacred of things that are given to you and that is key like oh my friend helped me with my work um my work colleague brought me lunch um you know my my child did ..."
Creating a Culture of Gratitude
Keltner emphasizes the importance of establishing systems for gratitude in personal and professional settings. He shares insights on how spontaneous expressions of gratitude can foster a sense of community and connection, enhancing overall well-being.
"tonight you know whoa I feel grateful gratitude really close to awe as as you into it but it tends to be different in that awe tends to be about vaster things like you know uh you almost get into a ca..."
The Emotional Landscape of Gratitude
In this segment, Keltner reflects on the cultural barriers to expressing gratitude, particularly in Western societies. He discusses how emotions like gratitude are often undervalued and how recognizing their importance can lead to healthier relationships and communities.
"experience of that for you of music yeah um it would be where you just start sobbing and you know or not oh something or chills it would be we do this live show for it's called the driver CEO live and..."
Monogamy and Relationship Dynamics
Keltner addresses the complexities of monogamy in modern relationships, questioning whether traditional models of romantic love are still effective. He explores the idea of serial monogamy and the evolving dynamics of love and commitment in contemporary society.
"I practiced it but then with the people there the audience of 2500 people and the choir that I would cry every night yeah which is bizarre which is strange isn't it striking it's a sense of connectedn..."
The Evolution of Love
Dacher discusses the evolutionary perspective on love and relationships, highlighting the need for diverse forms of love beyond traditional monogamy. He suggests that understanding various types of love can lead to healthier and more fulfilling connections.
"organism that's awe vast and and I don't understand why gratitude is more you know you're at the show and you know somebody looks you in the eye and smiles and and you feel like they're grateful for y..."
The Role of Community in Parenting
Keltner introduces the concept of alloparenting, emphasizing the importance of community in raising children. He argues that a communal approach to caregiving can enhance emotional well-being and reflect our evolutionary past.
"it you know it's it's just the Transcendent power of music and you're lucky to share it do you have any insight into the positive impact that gratitude has on US based on any sort of studies that have..."
Challenges of Modern Relationships
In this segment, Keltner reflects on the difficulties of navigating modern relationships, particularly in the context of polyamory and societal expectations. He discusses the cultural structures that influence our understanding of love and commitment.
"I do you know and obviously you go see a therapist and you consider medication but the happiness literature can point to like these are the five safest things to do social connection develop some way ..."
Rethinking Relationship Structures
Keltner challenges the traditional nuclear family model, suggesting that it may not align with our evolutionary history. He advocates for more flexible relationship structures that accommodate the complexities of modern love and caregiving.
"who have heart vulnerabilities patience they do better it is very good for your place in social networks like I join a group I'm I'm worried I'm socially anxious what do I do practice some gratitude y..."
The Complexity of Love and Parenting
Dacher Keltner discusses the concept of alloparenting in human evolution, emphasizing how love and caregiving were historically distributed within communities. He contrasts this communal approach to love with the modern Victorian ideal of monogamous relationships, suggesting that a more fluid and communal understanding of love may be healthier for society today.
"vulnerable offspring of any mammal on the face of the Earth they take seven to eight to twenty years just to I even say like 55 years to you know to even be semi functioning as an individual but what ..."
Challenges of Polyamory in Modern Society
Keltner explores the difficulties of implementing polyamorous relationships in contemporary culture, highlighting issues like jealousy and societal norms. He reflects on his upbringing in a countercultural environment and questions whether the traditional nuclear family model is the best fit for human relationships, advocating for a more communal approach to love.
"work because you know when we think about polygamy or um popping polyamorous I don't know the difference going to be honest yeah they sound similar polygamy multiple wives polyamorous multiple people ..."
Questioning the Institution of Marriage
In this segment, Keltner shares his perspective on marriage, influenced by his mother's feminist teachings. He discusses the constraints marriage can impose on women and suggests that love may be more diverse and distributed than traditionally understood, encouraging a reevaluation of romantic partnerships.
"doesn't seem to fit our evolutionary past of being in these you know these collectives that are sharing in the raising of Offspring and um and sharing and to a certain extent in romantic partnership s..."
Navigating Modern Relationship Expectations
Keltner and his interlocutor discuss the importance of open communication in relationships, particularly regarding societal pressures like Valentine's Day. They emphasize the need for couples to define their own relationship norms rather than conforming to conventional expectations.
"are questioning it seriously yeah good luck yeah the good thing is we're really like we're really open to new things as in we're open to like building new systems for our relationship in the modern wo..."
The Impact of Wealth on Compassion
Keltner addresses the correlation between wealth and a decline in compassion, citing research that shows wealthier individuals exhibit less empathy towards suffering. He reflects on how social class influences behaviors and attitudes, particularly in the context of privilege and kindness.
"uh I got interested in social class um actually living in England you know I lived in England in 1978 um and the United States is very blind to social class we're now more aware of it Bernie Sanders E..."
The Power Paradox: Wealth and Kindness
In this segment, Keltner discusses the 'power paradox,' where individuals who gain wealth and status often become less compassionate. He presents findings that suggest as people rise in social class, their empathy diminishes, raising concerns about the societal implications of increasing inequality.
"privilege you share a less you feel less compassion to images of suffering you know you see an image this was a striking study to me of you know it's a movie about a child who has cancer and poorer pe..."
Empathy and Social Class Dynamics
Keltner elaborates on how social class affects empathy and altruism, sharing insights from studies that demonstrate how wealth can create barriers to compassion. He emphasizes the need for awareness of these dynamics to foster kindness and connection in society.
"better human tendencies how do we know that it's the increase in wealth and social class that is causing us to become less kind and less empathetic less compassionate or it's just [ __ ] go further ye..."
The Correlation Between Wealth and Loneliness
Keltner discusses the paradox of wealth and loneliness, noting that while rich individuals may experience less anxiety, they also tend to have fewer meaningful connections. He explores how this lack of social interaction can impact overall well-being and life expectancy.
"call it the power paradoxes once I have everybody's respect and you know wealth and the like then it I tend to misbehave right in the ways we've talked about through a lot of different uh uh forms of ..."
The Role of Wealth in Happiness
In this segment, Keltner challenges the common belief that wealth directly correlates with happiness. He explains that the relationship is weak and suggests that true contentment comes from feelings of gratitude and compassion, which may diminish as one accumulates wealth.
"there are all kinds of other findings that speak to this Jesus um you know one this is one of my favorites is you know in these um these epidemiologists who are studying broad Trends and social behavi..."
Understanding the Impact of Privilege
Keltner reflects on the implications of privilege in society, discussing how it can lead to a lack of empathy and social disconnect. He warns about the dangers of increasing inequality and its effects on social cohesion and human kindness.
"who already have you know in the US the one percent they have enough they have more than enough right why not share a little so it's deep and I think and then you look across history European aristocr..."
Strategies to Maintain Compassion
Keltner offers insights on how individuals can counteract the tendency to become less compassionate as they gain wealth and power. He emphasizes the importance of awareness and surrounding oneself with diverse perspectives to foster empathy and connection.
"think most of the time you're talking which is like how do you avoid that how do you avoid yeah how do you avoid the uh that scientifically supported tendency to become an [ __ ] with with the more we..."
The Paradox of Wealth and Loneliness
Dacher Keltner discusses the surprising relationship between wealth and social connections, revealing that wealthier individuals often experience less awe and have fewer friends, which can negatively impact their life expectancy. He highlights the paradox that while rich people may live longer, they also face increased risks of loneliness and mental health issues, particularly anxiety and depression, which are more prevalent among poorer populations.
"the antithesis of Social connectedness and yeah all of these things and you even said earlier that you know wealthier people experience less all yeah and all of those things are um uh are associated w..."
The Decline of Life Expectancy
Keltner addresses the troubling trend of declining life expectancy in the United States, linking it to social inequality and a phenomenon known as 'Death by despair.' He emphasizes the struggles faced by marginalized communities, particularly poor white populations, who are grappling with addiction and mental health crises, and discusses the broader cultural issues contributing to this decline.
"but to your point and it's interesting the effect of wealth on happiness is much smaller than people think people think you know in particular in a country like the United Kingdom or you know Great Br..."
The Crisis of Meaning in Modern Life
In this segment, Keltner explores the concept of 'purposelessness' in contemporary society, particularly among younger generations. He discusses how the decline of traditional sources of meaning, such as religion, has left many feeling disconnected and searching for a greater purpose in life. Keltner argues that finding meaning beyond material success is crucial for individual and societal well-being.
"badge and you'll have everything you need the thing that's great about the Intel Evo platform is that you still have so much choice and that's key for me there are now over a hundred designs that have..."
Young People's Quest for Change
Keltner reflects on the motivations of younger generations who express a desire to change the world, even if they are unsure of how to do so. He highlights the shift from materialism to a focus on social justice and environmental issues, suggesting that this generation is seeking deeper connections and meaningful contributions to society.
"um told me before we even launched the podcast how successful it would be and that Hill would back it and I absolutely have a huge amount of gratitude for them for that support but an even greater sen..."
The Role of Social Media in Philanthropy
This segment delves into the impact of social media on altruism and community engagement. Keltner discusses how digital platforms can both promote acts of kindness and create superficial gestures that lack real substance. He critiques the phenomenon of 'digital virtue signaling' and emphasizes the importance of genuine actions that lead to meaningful change.
"related to inequality and opportunity and the poor distribution or uh of of opportunity and resources is um there have been these amazing findings uh related to what's called Death by despair and cert..."
Corporate Responsibility and Social Justice
Keltner shares insights on how corporations can better address social justice issues. He recounts a conversation with executives from a major brand who sought advice on how to engage with race relations. Keltner stresses the importance of internal accountability and genuine commitment to diversity and inclusion before making public statements.
"as I mentioned like the Surgeon General Vivek Murthy a very smart team looking at these kind of processes and saying how do we build community you know and they're they've got a big program now so it ..."
The Illusion of Digital Virtue
Dacher Keltner critiques the impact of social media on our perception of virtue, suggesting that digital acts of kindness, like posting a black tile for social justice, often lack meaningful action. He argues that while these gestures may signal goodness, they can detract from addressing systemic issues like racism and inequality, emphasizing the need for genuine change over superficial displays.
"um then I'm rewarded with I don't know comments or likes whatever or you know everyone collapse and I feel part of the tribe yeah so is social media made us these philanthropic Warriors that are seeki..."
Understanding Compassion
Keltner explores the concept of compassion, distinguishing it from empathy. He defines compassion as the desire to alleviate others' suffering and discusses its neurophysiological underpinnings, highlighting how compassion can lead to altruistic actions and improve well-being. He references the Dalai Lama's teachings on the importance of practicing compassion for personal happiness.
"is actually to get your home in order first it's startling that there's five white men on this phone call right now talking about um race relations and inequality I think it's it's better not to be th..."
The Science of Kindness
In this segment, Keltner presents research demonstrating that acts of kindness can enhance happiness and even life expectancy. He discusses studies showing that giving to others boosts happiness more than spending on oneself and highlights the contagious nature of altruism, where one act of kindness can inspire further acts in a chain reaction.
"um and that's why you know when the Dalai Lama um you know who's now one of the most prominent spiritual figures in the world says if you want others to be happy practice compassion and if you want to..."
The Power of Touch
Keltner discusses the profound effects of touch on human health and social connection. He shares studies showing that physical touch can improve well-being, reduce stress, and even enhance learning in children. He emphasizes the importance of touch in early development and its role in fostering social bonds, advocating for more affectionate interactions in daily life.
"a loving kindness practice where comes out of East Asian traditions where you just calm yourself get into some deep breathing find a quiet safe space and Orient kind phrases to other people I I may yo..."
Touch and Loneliness
This segment delves into the consequences of touch deprivation, particularly among men, and its correlation with loneliness and mental health issues. Keltner highlights the societal barriers that prevent men from expressing affection and the resulting negative health outcomes. He calls for a cultural shift towards embracing touch and emotional connection to combat loneliness.
"and and they used to just put them in these little you know um sort of units that warm them and had them sort of be comfortable and fed and they would die and then they figured out you gotta hold the ..."
Building Emotional Connections
Keltner emphasizes the need for actionable steps to foster emotional connections in society. He discusses the importance of compassion, gratitude, and awe in enhancing our lives and the lives of others. He critiques the isolation of the elderly and vulnerable populations, advocating for a more compassionate approach to community and caregiving.
"man you know if you're not hugging people you love if you're not if you don't have a rich language of touch with your friends you know I learned at playing pickup basketball basketball which is the I ..."
Karma and Emotional Ripple Effects
In this segment, Keltner discusses the concept of karma and how acts of kindness and compassion can create a cascading effect in social networks. He highlights the importance of positive interactions and their potential to enhance community well-being, while also addressing the darker side of gossip and its role in regulating behavior.
"bottom line that's really relevant here too and then the the really the the bit I imagine a lot of people will especially those that I'm much more spiritually inclined will love is the idea of that Ka..."
Nature's Role in Mental Health
Keltner shares insights on the impact of nature on mental health, particularly in environments like prisons. He discusses how exposure to nature can reduce depression and anxiety, advocating for more natural elements in urban living spaces and institutions to improve overall happiness and well-being.
"real yeah in every respect even in the in the the con concept of Gossip where how you treat someone will spread I think you said in your your book that um when we treat someone badly people on average..."
Creating Healthier Environments
In this concluding segment, Keltner emphasizes the need for healthier living environments that incorporate nature and emotional well-being. He discusses simple steps individuals can take to enhance their surroundings, such as adding plants, to foster happiness and reduce stress in daily life.
"Regulation tool yeah thank you so much I've had a wonderful a brilliant time over the last week learning more and more about all of your work and reading and watching your your content in great detail..."