"i wanted to be liked and i wanted people to think i was interesting and so i had to pretend and the voice in my head this ego kept saying i'm a piece of [ __ ] that i still really have a problem with ..."

"i one of the things that i've got from reading about you reading about um your story and reading your books was how self-analytical and self-aware you've become as the years have gone by and it's pret..."

"what about school how are you in school i heard not so not so great um i was good i guess when i was tiny i wanted to stay in line i wasn't a rebel i didn't want to get in trouble i was terrified of a..."

"asked you at that age what you want to be when you grow up post that dance school experience what would you have said to me probably an actor or a like a backing dancer on top of the pops was very app..."

"i couldn't relate more to that feeling of just the preciousness of naivety um and also how that decays as we become adults and the world starts to make us be a bit more realistic really boring realist..."

"so i had you know amazing tv producers teaching me the ropes and letting me experiment and work out who i was on camera and um and i've discovered i really liked it imposter syndrome you talked there ..."

"new things to learn more people to listen to which is a key part of what i do now but i don't have that horrible feeling of i shouldn't be here on this fancy tv set with all of these people that belon..."

"didn't know what it was you've had i don't know how long it was but you know at least probably a decade there of living almost you know professionally every day um living out almost like a character o..."

"for years and years probably way more than a decade certainly you know the first 10 years of my career i didn't know what that meant i just turned up and was as happy as i could be and enthusiastic an..."

"there's not as much room for it i'm not talking about that in a derogatory way because i had a great period of learning from doing all that stuff but the new path that i've forged which isn't necessar..."

"that as liberation um i i find that like incredibly um incredibly important and it's i was just thinking as you're saying it why um a few of the sort of tv presenters or radio presenters i've spoken t..."

"if you want to get out of it otherwise you just get stuck and i did get stuck for a long time and i went on medication and did everything that one does to try and get your head above the water but the..."

"my own feelings about that world have coincided with me not being offered very much and at times being sacked i use the word sacked you never get officially sacked you just aren't on the show anymore ..."

"of us in many ways whether it's about work or people you you know that you have in your life whatever it might be that you do hopefully start to act less from your ego and more from a very deep you kn..."

"but when i decided that i needed a new chapter and i needed something new and a new challenge i don't think i had a single person say to me that's a great idea you know everybody was sort of going why..."

"you came into work you sat there for three hours how did you feel what was what was going on in your mind you know what although i had that authentic voice and that sort of niggling feeling that i nee..."

"there it has been a bumpy road with lots of ego bruising and lots of like worrying that it's all going wrong and then brilliant highs of magical things coming out of the blue but that feels exciting r..."

"think i even heard the word growing up it certainly wasn't something i heard in the 80s or 90s i wasn't exposed to it yet my mum has dealt with depression and i probably sort of knew that growing up b..."

"been one of the big sort of movements in my own healing and you talk very openly as well about um panic attacks again something i was none the wiser to until you know it's funny because i look back at..."

"familiar to me now this was probably five years ago my heart was racing i had no idea what was going on so i went and saw a doctor and was like there's something wrong with my heart you need to check ..."

"why i don't really put myself in that situation anymore again i don't think it'll always be the case i'm sure i could do more therapy more everything and get to a place of comfort i can't be bothered ..."

"you said when you left radio 1 it was a a bumpy road now you know everybody in their life at some point will have to make a big decision to leave a position of certainty which might be certain misery ..."

"my publisher was really up for me just sort of seeing what you know came out of me if i started writing so i wrote the book happy which was my first go at writing about anything true and real to me or..."

"there have been loads of moments where probably more just mentally and internally i've felt like am i getting this right is this going somewhere have i actually got anything to say you know is my is m..."

"practice or battle yeah i think it's an ongoing discipline which sounds really boring but i think a lot of this stuff is it can still be fun but i think you have to stay dedicated to being nice to you..."

"a better place is that the objective for you i think the objective has to be always just to like myself because then the rest sorts itself out it doesn't matter where you're going what you're doing ho..."

"really means a lot that you've said that oh yeah because this is where this is ahead of time it's out now everyone it's out but at the time of the recording i haven't had as much feedback only from lu..."

"self-compassion and i've always known it's important but i've certainly not practiced it because you do have to practice it and i've certainly not nailed it i've allowed myself to get back into these ..."

"here so that was what i learned writing that chapter was i need to focus more on this stuff and not keep worrying so much should i have said this have i upset that person is it awful that 10 years ago..."

"practical terms how do you celebrate how do you celebrate the good stuff and try not to let the mind wander away when you wake up in the morning and you start immediately thinking about oh my god my m..."

"i've got i've made mistakes i'm an idiot i have to work harder if i am to believe that i deserve where i'm at that's where that's coming from so i can see it it's obvious when i go into workaholic mod..."

"where i'm at peace with myself that day so i'm obvious it'll be different for everyone but you can probably spot the patterns where you're in a little negative cycle versus the ones where you're being..."

"to i don't think you can i don't think anyone can in this day and age so it's less about the situations i put myself in and more about how i choose to receive that information because it is just infor..."

"myself mentally from it meaning too much and just go you know like i say like some it's undulating on a bad day where i already feel like [ __ ] myself i could look at the podcast chart and go oh my g..."

"but i've never really applied it and then i think again writing this book and talking to jambo specifically in the book about this subject and he had a really brilliant and sort of a more fun way of d..."

"it and you can have all the thoughts and the chatter going but you don't have to believe it and you don't have to act on it you just simply listen to it and then you and then you might afterwards afte..."

"that awful thing is that that's that sort of cycle of thoughts in your head i'm a piece of [ __ ] i'm not worthy i'm underserving i'm a bad parent i'm a bad partner i'm a bad friend they are all lies ..."

"listen to this voice that is yabbering on in my head the whole time you are like quite quite obviously a testament to the power of journaling and writing and um putting your thoughts and feelings out ..."

"you you've sat and interviewed so many amazing people um and i've got to speak to a couple of you know really great people as well and i started to notice some like gender differences um in success am..."

"have an obligation to share that and to talk about it a lot because it's not fair sadly though the comments would probably be all from women which i hate to say yeah so we've been indoctrinated by the..."

"but i don't want to be too downbeat about it because also that is in itself there is excitement there for women to make great changes to that and to be part of a real positive movement where we celebr..."

"are you optimistic about it yeah i am because i think you're in a real position of power here as well to change that well i hope so i think the bolder i get in saying those things like yes i'm ambitio..."

"already doing it because i think the generation that comes next always acts as a reaction to what's been and we're still climbing ourselves out of this hole so hopefully that's happening and i'm seein..."

"the book is um largely centered on this idea of meaning right that's the that's the kind of overarching purpose for writing the book it's trying to find meaning in in a messy world and at the end of t..."

"often brought to tears because i i extract myself from the oh my god my kids are late for school or i haven't done this email or how am i doing with this or what's failing with that or i just let it a..."

"to get up every day and think there's a whole new load of generation like people and things will be happening and systems in place and technology or whatever it might be that i won't be around for so ..."

"i'm here to learn here to learn yeah and i won't be here in however many years so gratitude it's funny because it's i mean yeah what you're saying is just is beautiful and very very true and powerful ..."

"mind but i also think as much as we are i don't want to use the word insignificant but as tiny as we are in the grand grand scheme of things i also alongside that truly believe that we are supported b..."

"you're you're getting the return and also i think it's we've got to stop looking at the return we've got to start looking at just being and it's not always about being the best the most successful hav..."

"a lovely lovely thing it's not a return like what can nature give me what can other people give me how can i feel part of this rather than separate from it our separateness has caused us so much pain ..."

"within a business structure so there's lots of business stuff that goes behind that sort of nice benevolent thought of helping as many people as we can so we're looking at loads of ways to do that and..."

"everyday thing of waking up do i feel i can truly show up as myself today or i don't i feel vulnerable i feel fragile maybe i don't today but i'd like to be more and more in the space where i can just..."