All Segments
The Love Expert: Why Women Are Addicted To Toxic Men,"Have A Boring Relationship Instead!" Logan Ury
17 segments available
If you want to hear more dating and relationship advice, I recommend you check out my most recent conversation with Jay Shetty, which you can find here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLTUA1lneS0 0:00 Intro 02:10 Why Does Your Work Matter? 05:55 Attachment Theories, which one are you? 11:26 What To Do As An Avoidant Attached person 19:31 How To Find A Secure Partner & Maintain A Healthy Relationship 35:03 The "secretary problem" That Could Save Your Love Life 38:48 What To Do As An Anxious Attached Person 45:02 Why Icks Are Stopping You Finding Love 50:00 3 Dating Tendencies 01:02:02 Why You Need To Skip The Small Talk! 01:09:37 The Number One Way To Find Love 01:18:15 8 Date Questions To Find The One 01:28:06 The Qualities You Should Be Looking For In A Person (backed by science) 01:37:43 How To Get The Perfect Dating Profile 01:44:29 The Last Guest's Question You can find out which of the 3 dating tendencies you are with Logan’s quiz, here: https://bit.ly/491O3lj You can purchase Logan’s book, ‘How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love’, here: https://amzn.to/476uvdV Follow Logan: Instagram: https://bit.ly/3SddZUL Twitter: https://bit.ly/46IWMqV Listen on: Apple podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-diary-of-a-ceo-by-steven-bartlett/id1291423644 Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/7iQXmUT7XGuZSzAMjoNWlX Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGq-a57w-aPwyi3pW7XLiHw/join FOLLOW ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/steven/ Twitter: http://bit.ly/3ztHuHm Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steven-bartlett-56986834/ Sponsors: Whoop: https://join.whoop.com/CEO Huel: https://g2ul0.app.link/G4RjcdKNKsb
Segments Timeline
The Science of Finding Love
Logan Ury introduces her work as a dating scientist, emphasizing the importance of understanding relationship science. She discusses the common misconceptions about love and the significance of the 'spark' in dating, which often leads to short-lived relationships. Ury highlights the need for a data-driven approach to dating and the three dating tendencies that can hinder finding lasting love.
"most people want to find love but the truth is you think you know what you want but you're wrong but there's a lot of great relationship science out there and this might be the number one thing that I..."
Why Love Matters
Logan Ury explains the importance of her work in helping people find love, acknowledging the struggles many face in the modern dating landscape. She discusses how societal changes have impacted dating, noting that traditional methods like arranged marriages have shifted to contemporary dating practices, which can be challenging for many.
"Logan why does your work matter my work matters because most people almost everyone wants to find love and it's really hard and I meet people and I see how badly they want it I see how long they've be..."
Understanding Attachment Theories
Ury delves into attachment theory, explaining how early childhood experiences shape adult romantic relationships. She describes the three attachment styles: anxious, avoidant, and secure, and how these styles manifest in dating behaviors. Ury emphasizes the importance of recognizing one's attachment style to improve relationship outcomes.
"no I'm not okay so you know about attachment Theory loosely okay so I'll give you the scoop because I feel like it's really interesting so attachment theory is a really great part of relationship rese..."
Navigating Avoidant Attachment
In this segment, Ury provides insights for individuals with avoidant attachment styles. She discusses the triggers that lead to avoidance in relationships and offers strategies to overcome these tendencies. Ury emphasizes the importance of clear communication and recognizing positive traits in partners to foster healthier connections.
"right yeah let me go more into avoid an attach M and I would say for anyone listening who's feeling really stuck going deep on attachment theory is one of the number one things that you can do to real..."
Finding Secure Partners
Logan Ury shares advice on how to find secure partners and maintain healthy relationships. She discusses the significance of understanding one's attachment style and how it affects partner selection. Ury encourages listeners to seek relationships that promote security and emotional safety.
"that's what I was going to say I was I wasn't sure whether to say it but secure sounds a bit you know wallpaper yes and that's what people don't understand so people think oh like I had a client who s..."
The 'Secretary Problem' in Dating
Ury introduces the 'secretary problem' as a metaphor for decision-making in dating. She explains how this concept can help individuals make better choices in their love lives by understanding the importance of evaluating potential partners effectively.
"Choice there was a couple other things I wanted to follow up on from the story so have you heard of the secretary problem only in your book okay so let me tell you about it and I I should give credit ..."
Addressing Anxious Attachment
In this segment, Ury discusses the characteristics of anxious attachment and how it affects dating. She provides strategies for individuals with this attachment style to manage their fears of abandonment and improve their relationship dynamics.
"concept called maximizer which I want to double down on but um I feel like there will be a bunch of people out there who CL ask themselves as the first first attachment style anxiously attached that n..."
Overcoming 'Icks' in Dating
Logan Ury addresses the concept of 'icks'—the small pet peeves that can derail potential relationships. She explains how these superficial dislikes can prevent individuals from finding love and encourages a more open-minded approach to dating.
"happening with her she's prioritizing him but he's not prioritizing her I think your advice is exactly right people do what they want to do and he's choosing not to invest in that relationship but at ..."
Three Key Dating Tendencies
Ury outlines three common dating tendencies that can hinder successful relationships. She discusses how recognizing these patterns can empower individuals to make better choices in their dating lives and ultimately find lasting love.
"it X do you think that X are as you said kind of more of an excuse It's funny because I know I know someone who runs a dating podcast and she goes on honestly three or four dat dates a week she is a l..."
The Importance of Authentic Conversations
Logan Ury emphasizes the need to skip small talk in dating and engage in meaningful conversations. She explains how authentic dialogue can foster deeper connections and enhance the dating experience.
"that goes into that I guess you me and my girlfriend when we go to restaurants and stuff when we're waiting for the food or I don't know we sometimes look over at different people and we're like oh wh..."
The Number One Way to Find Love
In this segment, Ury reveals her top strategy for finding love, focusing on the importance of self-awareness and understanding one's dating patterns. She encourages listeners to reflect on their past relationships to identify what truly works for them.
"like it's really risky to show that they're not perfect that's the journey I've been on is when I was younger and most insecure I was never vulnerable that felt like a huge risk that I was not willing..."
Essential Questions for Dating
Logan Ury shares eight critical questions to ask on dates to determine compatibility. She explains how these questions can help individuals assess their potential partners and make informed decisions about their relationships.
"used to go for when I was younger when I was looking for a perfect partner I would be able to reel off things like I want this color hair and I want them to look like this and I want this this this th..."
Qualities to Look for in a Partner
Ury discusses the scientific qualities to seek in a partner, emphasizing the importance of compatibility and shared values. She provides insights into how these qualities contribute to successful and fulfilling relationships.
"what are the things on the flip side of it then that we should be looking for that people don't typically think are that important right so relationship science research shows that some of these thing..."
Crafting the Perfect Dating Profile
In this segment, Ury offers tips on creating an effective dating profile that attracts the right partners. She discusses the elements that make a profile stand out and resonate with potential matches.
"about what the tips and tricks for a great hinge profile oh sure yeah I'll go through all of them I mean we have done tons of research on this at hinge and our basically our philosophy is the people w..."
Final Thoughts and Q&A
Logan Ury wraps up the discussion by addressing questions from the audience. She summarizes key takeaways from the conversation and encourages listeners to apply the insights shared to their dating lives.
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Defining Great Sex
Logan reflects on the concept of great sex, describing it as a deep connection that allows individuals to be fully present and express themselves. He emphasizes the importance of safety and erotic connection in achieving this level of intimacy.
"tradition on this podcast where the last guest leaves a question for the next guest in the Diary of a CEO and the question that has been left for you is kind of fitting because it somewhat links to th..."
The Science Behind Dating Advice
In this closing segment, the host praises Logan's book for its scientific foundation in dating advice. They discuss the importance of evidence-based insights in navigating relationships, highlighting the value of Logan's work in helping people find love.
"I'm I'm honored that I get to do the work that I do and thank you for letting me share it with more people as you all know this podcast is sponsored by hure and one of my favorite products that they'v..."