0:00
I was a junior in high school and couldn't read that well.
Search this video
0:01
A fourth grade reading level cuz I would I would cheat on everything and I learned how to read, I learned how to write.
0:06
I taught myself all these things, all these disciplines.
0:10
But whenever the first real big challenge would come, that little windstorm would push me back in the hole.
0:17
And I realized man, I'm not I'm fixing stuff on a surface level. I'm all surface man.
0:21
I'm not going deep into the cellar of my mind and fixing the foundation of my soul. My soul is broken.
0:30
And but you know, I knew I could fix it but I was afraid to go back.
0:32
I was afraid to face the demons of my life you know, cuz you start lying.
0:39
You wouldn't anybody knowing this [ __ ] about you.
0:40
So so you start lying about who you're not and start creating a person about who you want to be but it's not who you are.
0:48
So that's when I started realizing man, I'm never going to get over the hurdle.
0:52
I'm always going to live on a surface level until I go deep deep into the sewer of my mind to figure out and face all of these different demons. That's hard. It's hard.
1:01
We all like social media.
1:04
We all like everybody to see us for who we want to be.
1:07
That's why we post beautiful things about us.
1:12
That's not that's not going to fix you.
1:14
So I realized that and that's when I started going back.
1:15
So I was about um I was about 24 years old and I went from 175 to almost 300 lb and um that's when I sat down on my couch and realized we got to go back.
1:28
And it started with me going back to my father.
1:30
So we we left when I was 8 years old.
1:35
We went to a small town of Brazil, Indiana.
1:36
There's about five to 10 black families in a town of 8,000 to 10,000 people.
1:44
And um there was a big hub of clansmen that lived in Center Point, Indiana.
1:48
And I And I talk about that in the book.
1:49
So the clan marched in a 4th of July parade in 1995 in Indiana.
1:57
So when you come from a messed up foundation like I did in Buffalo, New York where my dad beat me senseless.
2:02
And now I had that messed up foundation and now I'm here being the only black person.
2:05
I call it the only in my book.
2:08
Being the only black person.
2:08
My mom's working three jobs.
2:10
We're living in a $7 a month place. She's never at home.
2:12
So, it's not like I had some mentors coming in to help me.
2:18
You know, they're trying to put me in these different group places for like having some shrink talk to me and these eight, nine kids and one kid setting his house on fire.
2:26
Another kid's peeing in the trash can.
2:28
Another kid had a helmet on banging his head up against the wall.
2:32
And I'm looking at this at eight years old.
2:35
You know, and I and I and I'm going to get back to your question that you asked me, but these are the things I had to go back and relive.
2:42
You know, I'm 24 years old now and I have to go back to all these things that no one knew about me in this group place where I'm in this place where these people are crazy and they think I'm crazy.
2:53
And I'm looking at them thinking I'm not crazy.
2:55
You just don't know where I come from.
2:58
I came from a place that truly damaged my mind, damaged my soul.
3:00
And now I have to go back on my own to face this [ __ ] Mhm.
3:06
So, you know, at at 24 years old I sat there a lot of time you know, like one day I woke up and said I got to face this.
3:13
This haunting [ __ ] voice in my head kept on saying, man, we got to go back.
3:19
The only way we can go forward is to go all the way back.
3:22
And that's very scary to do for everybody.
3:24
But, the only way you're going to fix yourself is to go all the way back to the beginning, to your childhood cuz that's where everything starts.
3:31
And that's what's blocking most of us. All of us. Yeah. All of us.
3:35
Everybody thinks it's my God, like my marriage is messed up, this is messed up.
3:39
You have to go back to fix all your problems.
3:42
It all starts from the root, man. The root, yeah.
3:44
That's what I was going to say.
3:46
We have to go back to the root because otherwise we're just dealing with the symptoms. That's it. Yeah.
3:49
And and and and you cannot fix anything by giving it Motrin.
3:55
You got you have a jacked up knee, the swelling may go down, but it's still jacked up in there. You got to get it fixed. You got to fix the knee.
4:01
All those pills do so you know, pretty much is just let the swelling go down and you can live a little longer, but you're not fixing the problem. Mhm.
4:10
You're not fixing the problem.
4:13
And I guess that most people don't go back or all of us, like you said, we don't go back because we don't know how. Right. Like right?
4:17
Like most people don't know how.
4:19
Like how do you start how do you go back?
4:20
And like you said and I love that example that we start thinking the issue is our marriage or our relationship right now or our job or our career.
4:28
And I I totally agree with you that we need to go back, but we don't know how.
4:31
And you start talking about in the book some ways in which we can start. How? Right.
4:36
Can you tell us about some of those?
4:37
So one big thing is the accountability mirror.
4:40
You have to start with yourself.
4:42
So what happened in in my life was we start to get I call it like the rucksack.
4:47
A rucksack is a pack that you carry in the military and you put all your stuff in it.
4:52
Your radios, your food, your water, all that stuff you have to carry in the military. That's your rucksack.
4:57
It's a backpack pretty much.
4:59
As you're growing up, we all have a backpack.
5:01
Most of ours, hopefully it's empty, you know, and what we put in it is all the crap we go through in life.
5:10
That's what is in the backpack for the civilians and we carry it around with us.
5:15
So what you have to start doing is realizing that no matter where you're at in life, I got called [ __ ] a lot.
5:19
My dad abused me, you know, learning disabilities, stutters, immaturity, insecurities, self doubt, so much crap on top of me. So much stuff.
5:29
I lied a lot to create friends.
5:31
So people So much stuff was in my backpack.
5:36
No one's coming back to help me.
5:39
So it starts with that person in that mirror.
5:41
You have to realize you are on your own now.
5:43
And whatever else you believe in, I don't care what you believe in, but on Earth is a very lonely journey.
5:51
And it starts with the accountability mirror looking at saying, "Hey, my dad who beat the hell out of me is not coming back.
5:55
All these things aren't coming back. I have to face myself."
6:00
And you have to own all those things that people may have done to you. Now it's yours. You got to own it.
6:05
It's yours now to fix the problems that people did to you. It makes no sense. It's not fair. I get it.
6:13
But if you live in that "woe is me" mentality of guess what? My dad did this to me. My mom did this to me.
6:18
People who bullied did this to me.
6:21
You're going to always live right there.
6:24
You have to figure out ways to move forward cuz you're not coming back.
6:29
It starts with the mirror.
6:29
And I call it the accountability mirror in the book. Yeah, I know. I love that. I love that.
6:33
I'm glad I'm glad you brought it up.
6:33
I Anyone who's watching or listening to this right now, I really want you to take this seriously because this is like what what you're talking about what David's talking about here is exactly why all of our suffering and pain that we're currently experiencing feels so tough and hard because unknowingly or knowingly, we are choosing to be stuck here. Right. Right. Exactly.
6:56
Unknowingly or knowingly, whatever situation you're in, you're choosing to stay stuck because we don't want to go and unpeel and uncover. That's right.
7:05
You don't want to break open that that callus that that scar on your mind.
7:10
You don't want to break No, you have to break it open let that blood flow.
7:14
You let blood flow in your brain.
7:14
You have to let all that stuff flow out.
7:16
All that toxic stuff that you have trapped in there has to start flowing out now.
7:22
So, like you said, you you are you are doing this to yourself.
7:27
Yes, people may have helped you get there, but it's now on you.
7:29
That's a painful truth, though. It's a painful truth. Painful truth.
7:33
Like all those people in high school and everything else, they don't know how you're going to end up.
7:39
So, you got to make sure that you constantly are rewriting your book.
7:43
You have to constantly rewrite your book every day of your life.
7:47
You know, and these aren't just words I say.
7:49
This is how I have to live.
7:49
Like, these are conversations I have with myself.
7:52
And I say it everywhere I go.
7:55
The most important conversation when you have with yourself. Yes.
7:56
You live with it every single day.
7:59
But, most of our conversations are not the right ones.
8:04
They're not the ones that are going to push us to the place we need to go.
8:07
They're the ones that are going to keep us sitting in that toxic environment that you've helped create and everybody else helped create and you're just living in it. You live in that muck.
8:15
In that conversation that plays in your head, that becomes you.
8:20
Decode some of that conversation that you started with yourself.
8:22
Like, how do you how does someone listening start that conversation with themself?
8:25
And and what are the general transitions that you need to start seeing?
8:29
So, my first conversation when I was absolutely nobody.
8:33
And that's one thing you have to say.
8:35
We live in the world now that's so kind.
8:38
We we find a kind way around everything.
8:43
Like, if you don't look good, I have to find a kind way of saying I don't like your shirt. Right. That's not the approach.
8:50
If that's the approach you're looking for, that book is not for you.
8:54
Can't Hurt Me is not for you.
8:54
The approach you have to take, at least I took.
8:59
You take whatever approach you want.
9:02
The conversation had to be a real, honest conversation in the accountability mirror. Guess what? I was fat.
9:09
Don't find a kind word to say that, you know what? I've gained some weight. No, you're fat.
9:15
When I couldn't read, not like, "Hey, you know what?
9:17
You have a learning disability." No, I cannot read.
9:20
I have a fourth grade reading level. I'm struggling.
9:24
And sometimes I call myself stupid.
9:24
Not in a way to put myself down.
9:28
So, don't take it like, "My god, those are so hurtful." Yeah, they're hurtful. Dishonest.
9:34
The conversation has to become an honest conversation of where you're at mentally. Where am I at mentally?
9:37
I look like [ __ ] I feel like [ __ ] I'm not this I'm I'm falling behind in school. I'm lazy. My house is a mess.
9:48
You have to look at what it is and call it what it is.
9:50
Don't find words to make yourself feel better cuz that's what So, we hang around people that make us feel better, that tell us what we want to hear, not what we need to hear.
10:03
And so, we stay away from those people.
10:05
And we stay away from those people like our internal dialogue becomes that kind it's okay. It's not okay.
10:13
So, that's where it starts.
10:13
It starts with that accountability of it's not okay anymore.
10:19
This can no longer be okay.
10:21
And calling yourself out for exactly what you are and exactly how you need to fix it. That's where it starts. I love that. I love that.
10:28
I I think that's awesome.
10:30
I I I think you're so right that so many of our conversations with others are politically correct. Exactly.
10:37
with ourselves are politically correct and then we continue to feed the illusion. That's right. Right? We continue to feed it.
10:42
Nothing gets solved by that, man. Nothing.
10:44
And if you look at America right now, and I won't get off on this, nothing is getting solved because we have there's so much racism, there's so many there's so many things and that's just one of them.
10:57
We can't talk about anything.
11:00
We are skirting all these conversations because if I say this, I'm going to offend the black person or white person or Jewish person or or a gay or lesbian person, we skirt around the dadgum problem.
11:13
So, we can't fix [ __ ] Everything is like, well, if I say this on TV, I'll lose my damn job. We have to say it.
11:21
We have to break the barriers within our minds within the world and it starts with yourself. Mhm. It starts with yourself.
11:27
You got to break the barriers down within yourself and and it's go there.
11:31
You got to go to yourself. Absolutely.
11:32
That was the honest conversation you had then.
11:34
What's an honest conversation you've been having with yourself this year?
11:36
And what's because like you said and I completely agree with you, it's a constant cycle. It's repetition.
11:41
We have to keep doing it.
11:43
So, I talk about the repetition in my book a lot. Got to get the reps in.
11:47
So, now my conversation is this.
11:50
I never set out to write a book.
11:53
When I was in the dungeon and no one was coming back to help me, I just wanted that reflection in that accountability mirror that I hated so badly to be something that gave me pride.
12:02
To be something that made me feel It wasn't about It's not about money. It's not about success.
12:07
It's not about people Oh my god, that's David Goggins. Sign my book. No.
12:12
When I started this journey out years ago, it's about I just wanted to learn to read.
12:17
So, now I'm at a place now where I see the possibilities of the human of human potential.
12:25
What are we capable of is the conversation now.
12:29
The conversation now is how can I now talk to people in a way they can understand the message that I have for so many people. For so many people.
12:39
So, that's the that's the new conversation now is that I You are constantly evolving.
12:44
You never stay You're getting better, you're getting worse, you're not staying the same.
12:48
So, for me, I have to constantly be getting better.
12:50
I have to constantly be evolving my message.
12:51
So, I'm constantly thinking in the quietness of my mind.
12:56
That's That's a key point, too.
12:56
The world is so fast-paced. The world is so noisy.
13:00
So, my conversation now a lot of times is my God, slow down.
13:07
The world can take you here, here.
13:07
Be here, be there, be everywhere, and I lose myself sometimes.
13:14
So, I catch myself in the airport.
13:14
I catch myself in the plane where I'm writing stuff down.
13:17
Okay, remember this, remember that.
13:19
And I'm like, hey, hang on a second. God, what got you here?
13:23
This isn't what got you here. Slow the [ __ ] down.
13:28
Go back to the quiet place of that dirty mirror in that $7 a month place you used to live in. That's where you grew.
13:37
You So I So that's where I'm I'm constantly reminding myself to go back to your roots.
13:42
I'm not saying go back to hell, but I'm saying don't forget where you come from as you start to explode out of the gate when you become someone.
13:49
My conversation is do not forget your roots.
13:56
Do not forget your roots.
13:56
Don't let this become so big that you lose yourself amongst the noise.
14:01
Go back to the quietness of what made you successful.
14:07
That's the conversation now.
14:07
It's a constant reminder of that. I love that, man.
14:10
That's the mantra, do not forget your roots. Repeat that.
14:12
Repeat that again and again.
14:14
And I have a meditation that I developed for myself to to do that for me that I want to share with everyone because it aligns so closely in in what you're sharing.
14:23
So every morning I sit and I look at my intentions to do anything.
14:30
So whether there's a new deal on the table or there's a speaking gig that I've been invited to do or whatever it may be.
14:35
And in your life it can be anything, whether you're starting a new business, you're writing a book.
14:38
It may even just be an Instagram post for whatever it is.
14:42
And I look at whatever my options are and I ask myself which one of these is a seed and which one of these is a weed. Right.
14:51
Because the incredible thing in our garden is that weeds end up looking like seeds and can confuse you. 100%.
14:57
So so often that thing that's giving you ego and pride and fame and control and power looks like it's amazing, Right.
15:05
but actually it's just strangling you. 100%.
15:08
So so every day what I'll do is I'll look at the garden of my life and I will try and unweed my garden.
15:11
So I'll look at everyone and be like, why am I doing that?
15:15
I'll ask myself, why am I doing that?
15:16
If the answer is not love, compassion, empathy, growth, personal push, sacrifice, service.
15:21
If the answer is the opposite, greed, money, power, fame, if those are my reasons, then I have to take that weed out.
15:28
I have to pull it out because if I don't pull it out, that weed's going to keep growing.
15:34
And one day it's going to be so big that I wouldn't even have ever seen it.
15:39
And so, I'm with you, man.
15:39
And that's why when I walked in here, the first thing I do is I is I want to know the person.
15:47
Because there's so many people right now doing exactly what we're doing.
15:50
What turns me off so badly that I see so many people out there trying to motivate people, inspire people, help people find what's going to drive you.
15:59
I see all this [ __ ] It's all [ __ ] a bunch of [ __ ] And I walk in, I see it everywhere.
16:07
Everybody's got this going.
16:07
Everybody's got a new podcast, this about I'm going to help you find yourself. They're not living it.
16:14
They're not living it, which is why I look at people, I'm like, what are you about?
16:19
Are you are are you actually doing what you say you're doing?
16:21
Which is why when I heard some of your story, I realized that you have substance to what you're saying.
16:31
Which is why now I can speak to you.
16:31
A lot of times I go on these podcasts, I don't want to [ __ ] be there.
16:34
You know, cuz I start realizing this person is just talking. He's not living.
16:41
And we share this with people and we expect them to change.
16:43
They can see right through you.
16:46
They can see you're not doing this.
16:46
So, that's what I think about it.
16:48
Don't do everything in your life for money. Don't do everything.
16:53
Yes, we need it to survive.
16:55
There's a great drive and passion behind doing things for the mind and the soul.
17:01
There's a great drive in that.
17:03
Everyone's like, you you talk with such passion. This is a life. This is my life.
17:05
So, that's So, that's what I want the people to get from all this stuff, man.
17:10
Like, there's something inside you.
17:12
The The brain is the most powerful thing.
17:13
The mind is the most powerful thing that we have.
17:16
It's not your phone, it's not your computer, it's not anything, it's your mind.
17:20
And if you can tap into that, you can come from the from the dead gone roots of hell and become such a great seed.
17:30
A powerful seed that can grow into some great dead gone garden.
17:35
And people don't get that. It's all up here.
17:37
The power and the magic's up here. Yeah.
17:40
No, I really appreciate that, man.
17:40
And and thank you for saying that because for me, too, that was, you know, my desire, what I was sharing with you earlier, is changing people's relationship with perception. Right.
17:51
I started I'll be I'll be completely honest, when I started making videos or any of this, and I've been talking about these things and studying them for the past 13 years, and when I started making videos, which was only 2 years ago, I had no idea that anyone would care. Right.
18:03
I made it because I wanted to share what I'd learned. Right.
18:06
And I put it up, and I genuinely thought my life was going to be I was going to go to my 9-5 job, my 9-9 job.
18:09
I used to work 12 hours a day in the corporate world, and I thought that's what I'm going to do.
18:13
I'm going to make videos on the weekends. Right.
18:15
And hopefully they'll help someone. Exactly.
18:17
Like there was never a desire to for this to be anything more than a service. Right.
18:22
And so when you when I hear you say that and and also just about how much we perceive each other, and I mean, how we perceive other people, etc. Right.
18:30
It's it's so important for all of us to give each other the benefit of the doubt That's right.
18:34
and hear from each other Right. to connect Exactly.
18:37
to see like I I said that to you earlier, I already knew I was going to like you. Right.
18:40
I was hoping you were going to like me. that about you.
18:43
So, you know, I I I make sure I And that's something that that's very powerful.
18:47
A lot of times we hear about someone else through the grapevine.
18:53
And they don't and then I won't like you because I heard from somebody else that they don't like you.
18:57
Always do your own judging. Always meet the person.
19:00
Look at the person in the eyes before you say you don't like that person. Listen to their story. Listen to who they are.
19:05
Listen to where they come from, how they lived.
19:09
Get your own opinion about people. It's very huge.
19:11
A lot of people didn't like me coming up cuz they they they see this hardness, this crust.
19:15
Break away at the crust and see what's inside that person. Absolutely. And don't judge a tweet. Don't judge one post. No. Don't judge one message.
19:25
And don't judge somebody from 30 freaking years ago.
19:26
Or I say 30 [ __ ] years ago.
19:30
You know, there's so much stuff going on right now in the world.
19:32
People are trying to evolve. Let them evolve. Yes. Let them evolve.
19:37
Don't bring them back into the Don't bring them back where they came from. Yes.
19:41
Don't Don't bring If someone wants to get better, don't bring them back to where you knew them when they were a piece of [ __ ] Let them fly.
19:52
And if you feel like hell because they went away and they escaped the hell that you all once lived in, fix yourself. Fix yourself.
20:01
Don't hold them accountable cuz they got away.
20:03
Don't Don't constantly remind them that they were once here. Fix yourself.
20:09
Cuz a lot of people feel like crap once people start to leave their little nest.
20:12
Like Like if you're an alcoholic, and this guy says, "I'm I'm going to stop drinking."
20:15
You want to bring him right back in. No.
20:19
Look at yourself in the mirror and say, "Wow, this guy's doing better."
20:22
Take that feeling of feeling like [ __ ] and do something about it. Change your own life. Absolutely. Well said, man. Well said.
20:29
Do you think we Do you think we do that subconsciously?
20:31
We don't want to see other people grow and fly because we are not growing and flying. It's 100%.
20:36
It makes us feel like [ __ ] It's a constant reminder of we where we're at in life.
20:42
If you want even more videos just like this one, make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here.
20:48
I'm also excited to let you know that you can now get my book Think Like a Monk from thinklikeamonkbook. com.
20:57
Check below in the description to make sure you order today.