just like any other drug i think pain could be addicting and it's so hard to get out of that because you're so used to living in that dark for so long that once you see the light you're like uh my eyes hurt i don't want to do this so you go back into the darkness and it's just going past that pain that addiction
yeah by being in bed and trying to wake up it's so easy to just stay under your head and make excuses i'll work out tomorrow hey everyone it's so great to be back with you and i can't wait to introduce you to my next guest we've been trying to get our schedules to align for so long we finally made it happen and i'm so excited to speak with her
she's got an incredible incredible series of things happening in her life and i'm excited for her to share them with you her name is francia raisa and she's an american actress and activist and she's currently starring in free forms wildly successful grown-ish and has so many more exciting things coming as well
francio thank you so much for being here thanks for having me that was a great intro oh thank you i appreciate that well i was gonna add that even though we've only met once before this yeah i've followed you on instagram since yeah you've made me laugh you've moved me you've made me feel that you're so involved in so many meaningful efforts
yeah and so thank you instagram for letting us connect more and and for keeping us connected yeah yeah yeah you've been very active and it's great i appreciate all the comments and stuff that you give back and same with you i mean all your stuff is super inspirational i'm like yes i can do it let me get up no thank you and you're you're i
think i said it on the day like your one million celebration oh god so friends if you haven't seen it you have to go through our instagram profile you have to scroll back to when she hit a million and she did this dance to celebrate yeah it was so good and by the time we filmed i'd already been dancing for two hours i was so
tired and i'm like wow i'm not 14 anymore where i can just keep going yeah but you did i did made it happen yeah somehow somehow you didn't skip you didn't skip anything yeah amazing no you're awesome and and i'm so excited for you i saw the article in variety the other day yeah this is incredible yeah i'm very excited about it um i
can't believe i didn't even know about the story um just to kind of elaborate yes yes about it well in 1947 california became the first state to desegregate all school things to a mexican-american family and people don't really know about that unless you know you study chicano studies or really look into our history and brown
versus board of education is really the only piece of history that we know with desegregating schools but actually thurgood marshall used mendis versus westminster as a gateway for brown versus board of education and you know i found out about this story in january and i brought it to mandy tv my producing partner
and we were just on it in trying to get the family to come on board with us and they've had so many people approach them about a film and somehow they felt more comfortable with me than anyone else so now we're here in the development stages and i'm very very excited to finally like bring this story to light yeah that's beautiful how did
you find the story my boyfriend actually oh yeah so um i've been wanting to produce for a long time i've been doing this business for 13 years now and i just kind of wanted to do more than just acting and mandy's always been pushing me to produce as well i her husband is actually my manager and so my boyfriend's super supportive
and i've been looking for stuff looking for stuff and he came across it somehow and he's like did you know this i was like no and so i started looking more into it and reading about it i brought it to mandy she goes how does any no one know this and i got rejected from school when i was five years old for not being able to speak english
so that was against my rights as a citizen so um you know we contacted sylvia mendez who actually was awarded the medal of freedom from barack obama and contacted her went to see her and had probably like a two three hour conversation with her and she immediately said no i don't want to give away my rights and i was like okay listen
it's more than just making a movie i know that education is very important to you i'm upset that i didn't learn about this in school and i want this to be a part of our school curriculum and the best way to do that is through hollywood it has to be told i told her about my getting rejected from school which she was shocked about because i
was in the 90s and this case happened in the 40s and she i didn't know this but later on i found out that she went to her sister's house and said i have a feeling about her i think this might be the right move and it was just a gut feeling met the whole family and then um we about a few a few months ago we got
them to sign paperwork and now we're partners congratulations thank you so much synchronicity of that story yeah it gives me so much it gives me so much faith in in entertainment and its role in shifting culture right and telling stories because the way that all came together like your boyfriend yeah they trusted you and and that's
huge yeah that's massive for them to be turning that down but for you to also have had that experience yourself right and that's one thing that my mom was always so upset about she goes name the school which i won't now but it's not worth it but i was telling my mom was like it's so funny at five years old this happened to me
who knew that that rejection would lead to this opportunity amazing yeah years later i mean you just never know absolutely and what a beautiful connection that yeah do you reckon that's the reason that the family felt like that was one of the reasons i think it was part of that um us latinos were very big about gut feeling and um
one thing that they said they're like you can't really translate it they said we just had a presentimiento which means intuition and i think just in conversing with her and you know growing up in this industry being very passionate about my culture and really wanting this to be a part of our education i think is what really
drove them and be like okay i love that where does that latino gut intuition come from like where when did you start saying that to yourself when did that start being a way you made decisions in your life uh when my mother knew things about me that there was no way she would have known about and unless it was that like got
intuition i'm like mom how do you know this she goes i just know like it's just the weirdest intuition that women develop can you tell us one of those examples do you remember any of the cut you know i mean this might be tmi this might be this is really tmi but it's one of those things where like nothing happened i saw my mom one day i
went to visit her at a restaurant and she goes you lost your virginity yesterday and i was like how do you know that like it was what is like that's how crazy it is like she there's no way she would have known yeah but she just knew that was amazing yeah well that was the best example you could have given us
dmi yeah that's crazy yeah wow and i love how true that is for you because even your role in grown-ish is like challenging type costs right it's like challenging typecast as in like you're you're challenging how uh ethnicity and backgrounds are presented i think it is in any role period i mean i think before when i was first starting in this
industry i was just so desperate to work i was like i'll do anything and now i'm more so standing up for my culture um and just my characters and you know saying ah i don't feel comfortable saying that or as a bit stereotypical that's what i meant yeah yeah so i think it's with every role right and just even myself there was a line
we're shooting season two right now and um you know i have a scene with someone where we're talking about relationships and he's saying you know girls get crazy whatever and my line was well girls only get crazy because and i went to the producers and i said you know what i don't feel comfortable saying that because i'm all
i'm almost condoning the fact that girls go crazy so they were very open to that and and you know i was able to say quote-unquote whatever but you know stuff like that i'm very much about standing up for any sort of body shaming i won't talk about i'm just more open and like really standing up for my own personal beliefs that will coincide
with the characters that's amazing when did you when do you feel or what made you feel confident to even have that conversation because from conversations i've had with artists and actors before it's very much like well that's the script and it's not really something that shifts much right so how when did you develop that confidence or have you
always had it and where's it come from and i think one turning 30 really made me be like dad don't care as much but two honestly it's the metoo movement because once these stories started coming out i realized that a lot of things that i wasn't okay with but i was quiet about were actually not okay so because women started speaking out
about their experiences and even men too were speaking out on this stuff and the time's up i just started being more comfortable being verbal especially because now people do get in trouble for it so um and people are very open-minded a lot i work with the best writers and producers and stuff so um it's just a conversation i and you
hear this growing up but it doesn't really hit you until you're older i guess or something happens where like the worst thing they can say is no so might as well try or you're just gonna regret and be like what if i should have i should have and i hate saying i should have yeah absolutely and but but i do i really
i recognize and value that so much i admire it so much because i think i i always said that if we don't see the culture of media shift then we can't expect in real life i remember when you started to see more lgbtq representation media then people feel like they can be themselves yeah exactly you know off-screen and offline yeah
and and i feel like the fact that you're doing that like that makes me so happy yeah like it's such a huge thing to do and whether that's you representing your background your walk of life your philosophy your ideologies whatever it is yeah i think it's such an important stance so i just want to recognize you for that i appreciate it
thank you thank you i think it's hopefully going to give anyone who's listening like more upcoming artists also yeah the feeling to the freedom to do so and there's a way to go about it just do it with grace have a conversation about it like i you know i don't come with an attitude i'm not yelling um i try to sometimes sometimes it slips
but yeah you just gotta have a conversation be like this is where i'm coming from with it just with any relationship communication is key you got to be the change so you know just talk about it where did you get this amazing attitude i love it because that's what i've been experiencing on instagram and i'm like
every time you post something i'll be like oh my god francie is so like evolved yeah no in a good way like you just have this awesome energy about yeah i appreciate it and i was just like where do you get it from where where does it come from honestly lots of therapy and church a lot of church yeah nice i've been actively going to church for a
while now but i i think in 2000 when 2000 what year are we in 16 2018. in 1615 i was going consistently every sunday and just really soul-searching and having conversation just really understanding things a lot differently than the way i was seeing them that's beautiful and that was not something that you did since you were
young it was something that came later on yeah it came later on when i was younger i mean i went through as many people have a lot of trauma uh growing up and i was just angry and i was going through a lot of pain i was just so confused and i started working at 17 years old so i went from being a senior in high school to
filling out w-2s not understanding what i was filling out and at the time i was dating someone that was 19 years older than me so i was just so confused about life and just lost and i didn't actually get received therapy from that relationship till about i mean almost eight years later where i actually realized what kind of trauma had gone through
what kind of verbal abuse i had gone through and just really had to grow up because it came to a point where i was just so depressed and i could not get out of my closet like that's where i would pray and just cry was my closet and i just could not leave and i was like i can't live like this anymore so you know my pastor came into my life
who's like my big brother now my acting coach was said i won't coach you unless you go to therapy wow and so i was really forced by my loved ones to seek help and here i am a few years later but i i needed it and i wanted it and i've learned that it's really a choice like people can tell you things or you can
give advice but if they're not ready to hear it like there's no point to it yeah and i was just at that point where i was ready it's amazing thank you for sharing that yeah of course yeah it's such a such a beautiful message also for loved ones to hear that yeah that they have to do or play their role yeah like you what you just said your
acting coach wouldn't work with you if you didn't yeah and just playing that role but then you're still saying it's your responsibility it's your choice yeah it is i mean you got to play their role but also be patient with you when you know you reject it and or accept it because i mean just like any other drug i think
pain could be addicting and it's so hard to get out of that because you're so used to living in that dark for so long that once you see the light you're like uh my eyes hurt i don't want to do this so you go back into the darkness and it's just going past that pain how's that addiction yeah it's like being in bed and trying
to wake up it's so easy to just stay under your head yeah make excuses i'll work out tomorrow yeah yeah yeah exactly that's yeah self-pity is so addictive very addictive yeah very addictive that's amazing it's nice to see how different people find different things that create that but the therapy and church seem to be popular yeah some
some something spiritual and something therapeutic yeah helps you talk it through yeah exactly are you are you now providing are you someone who is a helper amongst your friends too and like guiding them through their challenges and sometimes it depends on the situation um if they look for it and want to have a
conversation for sure i mean we have my friends i have different group of friends we have group chats going on and if they come to me then for sure i'm i'm there but sometimes it's like you gotta wait to see if they're ready or if there's a point where i'm like uh when you have a conversation what's going on with you then i will but it
just really depends you don't want to force it on anyone either i didn't like it when people forced it on me so i don't do that i'm really big about if i don't like something i'm not going to do it yeah absolutely i think that you have to give people that freedom yeah if it doesn't feel like your choice you're never going to follow up
yeah exactly absolutely yeah i love it i've read somewhere that you're talking about the child of an immigrant work ethic oh yeah yeah yeah and i love that yeah can you tell us a bit about that like what does that say no just like what what do you mean by that because i think like that theme is kind of coming out a
lot more in media now a lot of people are like i'm a child of an immigrant and i said on work ethic it's impacting my success how has it impacted yours well let's see when president trump came into office just like many people i was very angry um especially because while he was running he talked about my family and i say my
family because i am mexican and honduran and we consider each other family as aliens as rapists as murderers and all this stuff and i've always been proud of being a first generation american and speaking spanish growing up i'm bilingual and then that was tested when he started running and so i started being more active and outspoken about how proud i
am of our culture and my father actually was born and raised in honduras came out here when he was probably in his 20s after both his parents died and doesn't speak a lick of english to this day someone told him when he landed if you want to make it in hollywood you have to learn english you're never going to make it and he said watch me
and in 2014 he got a star in the hollywood walk of fame and still does not speak english he's been very successful in his career and i think his work ethic and the fact that i had hope and what can happen living right next to me is what's really made me be like no we're not aliens we're not murderers like my
father helped change the world a bit and that he's a latin man who doesn't speak english what are you talking about so i think that's where that comes about and my passion for it and you know again there's other people that first generation what an incredible role model to have right next to you yeah that's amazing that's amazing how
does that how is that how has that had pressure or as it just has positives uh there's been a bit of both i i mean there's no positive without pressure yeah okay yes i like that yeah so growing up there was a bit of pressure i guess um i didn't understand it growing up because my father was famous and i
again i did i didn't know him walking down the street and people asking for photos i didn't understand it because to me it's just my dad and i remember being like dad we go out today you're not allowed to take pictures and you're not allowed to meet people and if he did i would cry and be like you promised me not understanding um and then it just felt a
little pressure because i had to hold up this persona because i'm cookley's daughter and i didn't understand what that meant and then when i chose to be a part of this industry kind of living up to his name a little bit because he's a huge activist and i think that's why he got the star um when his ratings were really
great in the latin market but also he's you know started non-profit and you know when the earthquake in uh el salvador happened he built homes and he built churches and he built schools and he went to nigeria he he's he's huge um in philanthropy so wow yeah so now if you seeing your success if you would
ever have kids i don't know if you want to have kids but if you were to ever have kids how would you how would you do it with them with with people wanting to take pictures with you and oh god are you living there how would you how would you manage that i don't know i've never even thought about it sorry i'm like fast no you're fine
because obviously it is a thought like ever since i turned 30 i was like okay because my mom brought it up she goes i do want to know what it's like to have grandkids with no pressure um i don't i don't know i mean i think yeah i think it's just having to explain it yeah yeah yeah i don't know a kid's gonna your kid's gonna be born with a million
followers already instagram that's like the new thing right like yeah i see it with so many people like the child's born and they have a million instagram followers and then they're like and they make money yeah and they don't even understand absolutely it's crazy to me they're advertising like the latest sneakers or whatever
yeah i know exactly and once you thought of it's cute yeah it's really good yeah gosh that's a good question i don't even know what i'm going to do yeah okay your mom asked me to ask you so yeah yeah no it's it's definitely something that i think about a lot as well it's just you know the culture that yeah just that but the culture that
we all grew up in it was different for me growing up in london yeah and you know i remember like my parents would never get me a pair of nike trainers because like sneakers sorry uh because it was just like no you can't have those like we can't afford them whatever it was and then i remember getting my first pair and then
now i'm in a very different world yeah and you just wonder how different things impact and even hearing your story yeah of of the background and culture you've grown in yeah i'm always just fascinated by how people get their incredible ideologies yeah i remember that too where we couldn't afford anything and then my
dad took me to toys r us one time and said get whatever you want and i was like what i don't you're not limited me to like one toy yeah yeah and i mean hopefully when i have kids i don't i can provide yeah but i think yeah it's having a conversation i don't think they ever really talked to me about what he did and helped me understand it it was just like
this is what he what he does and that's it is what it is right yeah yeah that's interesting yeah that would be a hard conversation i don't think they understood because hollywood wasn't like a thing i mean growing up in honduras in mexico it was just a dream but i grew up with it over the hill and uh so i think it's just have a
having a conversation my parents weren't very open right with having conversations with us they were very like conservative and old school and stuff i mean i remember when i asked my mom what a virgin was she goes it means um when you're not married and when you're not a virgin you are married and that was it that's how i found out
about sex that's what it was wow yeah so they were they wouldn't talk to me much and then and then she told you you were married yeah i know wow okay right yeah yeah that's interesting that's awesome i was i everyone everyone who is listening right now francia learns all her lines the day before i shoot like i'm so impressed right now yeah you
have an epic memory yeah you just hold on me to production it's okay because that was no oh sorry oh yes no no it's fine it's actually yeah no it's fine because you know as long as i am prepared when we um run lines and when we're shooting it's fine but that's the best way that i learn like i can't do it too many times before because then
you over rehearse and there is such thing as over rehearsing and then you're more in your head and it's not as organic i mean like you and i are having a conversation right now i mean if this were a scene i would have learned it right before because i want to actually listen to your dialogue and if i over rehearse i'll know your
dialogue then i'm not hearing you and then i won't react organically wow have you as your style evolved has your workflow evolved as you've been what's been like the newest lesson that you've learned in your space um probably like what i just talked about is listening really really listening improvisation a little
bit because it's my first time on a comedy and you know they kind of give us wiggle room to ad-lib or improvise and i don't think i've really gotten much of that before so it's really made me stand up and like listen and be on my toes and come up with something clever yeah which that's actually really hard so snl people
she cries do you think you become funnier in the process i hope so yeah i really hope so i get some laughs yeah yeah we listen for that um because if village video village is where the producers and the writers say if we don't hear them laughing we're like am i not funny oh no and when we hear them laugh even though sound hates it we're like no it
makes us feel good what's that pressure like though it's like because that's i guess very different to having your lines doing your script here you've got that room right it's like how does that feel like trying to wait for laughs it said to you almost like a stand-up comedian and then i know right um it's better now because we're all
family this is the second year that we've been working together and i think i put more pressure on myself than anyone did because i was so used to drama and i can cry on cue but you know comedic timing is crazy and it's a real thing so i was just putting a lot of pressure on myself but i've chilled out a lot this season and
just kind of let it happen nice yeah nice i'm going to be looking out for now there's moments where i'm like yeah that's fantasy of being comedic having those moments when when i see your work and i and i follow you on instagram as i was saying earlier you seem like someone who really values your physical and your mental health yeah
like somebody really prioritizes it at least i feel that way yeah and what kind of rituals or setups have you put into place that have helped you do that with a stressful career with a pressurized lifestyle with crazy travel plans as we were discussing earlier what's become like priorities for you to make sure that both of those work
well church on sundays i have to even if i'm traveling i've been bad about going physically um because of work and i'm tired but they thankfully um we'll stream it online so i'll watch it online even if i hear it in the background so that's been very important to me and very helpful um journaling i'm big about journaling and i try to
find time either in between takes or in the mornings it's been harder in the mornings but my ritual was is waking up making my coffee um going outside to journal and then i go to the gym or yoga or something and lately i've just been getting some friends to do yoga with me i'm trying to get your wife to do it with me do it
yeah she would love that yeah hot yoga oh my god yeah we just talked about it yeah please that was amazing yeah so it's like i i just need that stress reliever yeah yeah absolutely and you're journaling was there a specific process that you did or was just letting all your thoughts from the day before or what's that kind of taken or
is it just very open and random and spontaneous uh it could be random spontaneous but my journaling are my prayers because i'm very bad about you know being like dear god so i just write it and i write what i do is i write letters to god and then whatever flows flows that's beautiful yeah oh well that's
amazing ever going to print as a book probably not okay these are personal yeah it's very personal i know people have approached me about that but yeah they're super personal i think especially in this business there's a lot of pressure to like be public about things um so that stuff like that i think is good to keep
private which is so weird to me because it does it wasn't a thing until social media came about because before it was like you know keep your stuff private now it's like you get paid to be more open about your life and you know i think some people can tend to go crazy because you share too much you know just like when you're little if
you share too much gossip it comes back to you so i can't even imagine being in the public light with some of these relationships and breakups i mean it's breakups especially because it's our you already have to deal with the breakup and then deal with people's opinions on top of that it's just it's it's a lot totally too yeah and sometimes i feel
like vulnerability is mistaken for telling everyone everything yeah and it's almost like i don't know how you feel about that that's how i feel like vulnerability to me doesn't mean telling everyone everything yeah because i just don't think that that's going to be helpful to you or to everyone right it's not useful yeah to me vulnerability
is just being transparent um in what you feel comfortable in like i'm being vulnerable right now and having this conversation but i'm not telling you everything about my life you know you don't have to be i don't know yeah no absolutely absolutely you know i feel you're being transparent too i feel like you're sharing but yeah it's
relationships develop in layers yeah and you kind of move forward with people yeah and naturally your inner circle knows you better etc and trying to get everyone to understand you at the same level actually doesn't make sense no especially at the speed that most people want to do it in yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah it's it's
like business like i want to get to know you straight away now yeah and i'm like chill out bro chill and yes you know i have people for i have friends that i've known for many years like our mutual friend i call him rez yeah rez shout out to rez what's up rez look at what you did yeah yeah exactly and montana
so uh yeah i've known him since we were 14 years old but now it's like we're at a point where we know each other so well but it wasn't because we you know started sharing each other's secrets right away we actually weren't friends in high school and he hates that i talk about that but i think it's really cool that you know we actually weren't
friends in high school we developed a relationship afterwards and now we're here where we just like in intuition we just know each other yeah yeah it's beautiful and that's such a nice message to everyone listening yeah that it's okay if it takes time to become friends with people friends relationships everything there's no rush
there's absolutely no rush especially relationships i know people are like after the first date what is this yeah and i was one of those girls like very much about what is this where is this going i just don't want to waste my time and i understand that but it's okay to be friends first i think those are the best relationships
yeah i've been saying to a lot of people as well that just everything is so much more gray yeah rather than black and white like it's like this or that yeah we might like all in or nothing yeah or it's like okay what's happening or what it's not happening it's almost like well actually things are so much more gray yeah and
you allow it to develop organically and naturally rather than rushing in or rushing out yeah and but it takes time and it takes like time time yeah and energy like real amounts of energy and connection which which i feel like we just feel like we have less and less time so yeah well that's well yeah that's true which
is true which we were trying to figure out we were like trying to schedule a dinner i know like maybe 2019. yeah i know we're trying to make it happen yeah yeah you gotta meet my boyfriend yeah i really want to tell me why you think we'll get along uh i think on a spiritual conversation you guys will get along he's
very much about meditation as well so i feel like you guys will yeah get along that way and just i just have a feeling okay yeah yeah you have the guy yeah yeah well no i need to talk to you about your prayers too i'm i'm a huge fan of prayer i think prayer is probably one of the most beautiful things and i remember when i first started
praying and this is beautiful talking about it with you i didn't even plan this but when i first started praying i'd always be like i don't know what to say and then now that prayer has become so much more natural in a conversation yeah it's almost like you feel inspired to pray right like the prayers are coming through you and to you as opposed to
right you having to think about what to say or saying the same thing every day i don't know does that sound similar to your experience what's yours like so when i first started praying and i'm gonna share this because i don't know if this will speak to someone um obviously i was like just sitting there i'm like i'm talking to myself i
don't know what so i started journaling and those were my letters to god but it came to a point where i felt disconnected and i was like i don't hear god the way that i used to or i don't feel things of what i used to and i'm having a harder time and i was really discouraged really frustrated this happened earlier this
year and i was going to my pastor and like i i come to church but i feel so disconnected i remember during worship i would cry because i would feel it and now it's just very like blank to me and one thing he said to me was you're not praying the way that you used to when you used to pray when you first started
you were in a broken place of course you heard god differently because you it was a broken person seeking that but now that you have christ in you it's just in you you're not going to hear him the same way because you're already you're acting christ-like which is what we are taught in church is to be more christ-like so when you're more
christ-like it's not that you're disconnected you're just living and walking what you know christ wants you to be walking in so it's it's definitely been different now because now it's like you know i hear about the fires i'm like dear god please with with these fires i was like praying for rain like something you know it's just more
of a conversation whether it's in my car in the shower just like you and i are talking right now it's not so much like okay i got a journal i'm gonna be quiet and listen to worship or sometimes even just listening to music worship music is my form of praying and it's just a conversation and just the way i'm acting or the decisions
that i make and how i handle certain situations is my form of being more christ-like and handling prayer yeah that's beautiful and i love that acceptance also of we do change the way we communicate yeah just like we do in our relationship yeah it's the same thing it's not like oh because it was good then yeah it's
like that same feeling has to happen yeah exactly and that that's hard to accept because i was like i am not as connected anymore what's going on i'm going to church but it's just i'm not so broken anymore where i hear it the same that's the difference and that's where you know you can either try to go back to being in that dark place
so you can hear it the same way or you just kind of accept the new chapter that you're kind of enduring which is what we work so hard towards yeah you've just opened up a new thought for me it's it's so often that we actually recreate more drama to feel that brokenness again because that makes us feel connected yeah it's addictive
yes it's addictive yeah so we can have something going on or wrong with us like i'm like oh i'm not crying in therapy as much as i used to let me try to make something up or my boyfriend and i are getting along that's a that's weird let me start a fight i hope you don't get to do that no no no no i've been good i mean if anything i'd be like more
open like hey i've been snappy lately i'm sorry i don't know why i don't know what's going on yeah no we do the same i always do that i i think i apologize to my wife like all the time yeah i'm so much more aware now of the way i'm behaving yeah so it's so much more easier to catch myself yeah behaving in a way i don't like or
being distracted or whatever it may be yeah and just being like i'm sorry i'm doing that yeah please forgive me because i'm going to do that when or just being aware and actually being able to inform the other person of why you're behaving right like oh i'm trying to do this right now yeah and that means i don't know yeah
no the same i mean i've been more aware and i'm like i'm sorry and and recognizing it before and before i used to be like it's your fault because you didn't put the toilet seat down so it's making me react this way you know so now more like communicate communicative as i say communicative yeah yeah yeah put the toilet seat down gents put
the toilet seat down yeah make it easy [Laughter] make it easy for yourself there are easy things like that in relationships though yeah and that's what i think it's like i always found like me and my wife by far the the best and the easiest the most amazing relationship i've ever been in obviously that's where we got married but the
interesting thing about it is that i feel like i never wanted to be in a relationship but we just argued over the dumb stuff yeah the small stuff yeah because i felt like that was the easy stuff that we really should change adapt clear like make make it easy on yourself yeah because relationships as you grow
gets harder in different ways so many different ways i think it wasn't i thought it was good i was like i'm great i'm because i was um celibate and for like a year and a half i wouldn't date and i was like you know let me just focus on myself and grow because there's no way i can keep a relationship right now because i'm not happy so after a year
and a half i met him and i still wasn't even ready to date but he came in my life and i was like you know what i can handle this because i'm so good and then realizing oh you're still a shitty person in some capacity because even though i'm good i'm selfish now so now i have to learn to not be selfish and communicate
and you know compromise which is like the biggest thing is compromising yeah yeah is that bad and we're back yes we're back after that technical difficulty of some roof work going on yeah i think but no we were we were so and i love i love where we were because we talked about relationships yeah and so much of my audience
is watching a lot of my videos which are about relationships i'm fascinated by them because i had so many failed relationships previously same to my marriage same oh good okay so we're on the same wavelength and i failed so many times i made so many mistakes i got so many things wrong and i wanted to help people whoever wanted to be to avoid those same
mysteries right and allow me to explore content around relationships because i really do feel it takes up such a big part of our lives and and we were both talking about ours so we were diving into just awareness on when you walk into a relationship someone's at a certain level someone's at a different level yeah and
how sometimes some people have to be patient and wait yeah yeah how tell me when you've got it wrong and now when you're getting it right when you're understanding yourself better versus when you didn't well i think when i first got into my relationship i was still very selfish and very much about my ways and i wasn't necessarily
looking for a relationship i hate saying this but it does happen when you least expect it so tooth 2017 yes was a crazy year for me i had just sold my home and i didn't i didn't have a home because i was leaving a film the day i closed escrow and so i didn't want to um get into a new house and not even be there so
and i sold all my furniture i just needed to get rid of everything i had too many memories and energies that i didn't want and it was just time for a change and i that probably was the best decision that i'd ever made like so many of those energies are just gone um they're not apart with me and and it just made a whole weight just lift off
me very expensive but also just also very healing for me and so i moved in with one of my friends many of you know the story with my friend selena and uh you know i was in that new search of myself had been going to church and therapy and you know clean slate and then you know i went through a kidney transplant and i booked grown-ish a few weeks after
the transplant and so i was like wow life is definitely taking a turn just for me getting rid of that old energy so it was just like a turn of events that happened and i i didn't even realize that there were certain choices that i had to make in order to jump into that new way of life that i wanted and sometimes it was
it's hard decisions like selling your home that i had lived in for eight years and i kid you not i woke up at three o'clock in the morning and god was like you gotta sell your house and i had felt it months prior but i wouldn't listen and then i was put in a position where like i just had to i remember having the worst anxiety and i
was cringing i couldn't sleep i was crying and it was the best decision i'd ever made cleansing myself of all of that and i met my boyfriend on set he i don't remember meeting him he said he does but he said he knew just from looking at my headshot and he was like who is that and i think that some people were like
domes with an actress um which whatever but uh yeah he started talking to me pretty immediately um on set and i didn't really notice it because i again i just wasn't mentally there i was just trying to do a good job and i had so much stress on myself that no one else put me in of like being funny or just even um you know at the time i was 29
years old and i was playing 18 so i was like i need to look young and i need to act young and everyone else is young it was just like unnecessary pressure i just put on myself and he just knew and um was like two weeks into filming he had invited me to catalina island to celebrate his birthday and it was just me and i was
like no i don't know you you might kill me and i was very yeah he was like why not and i'm like i don't know you i'm not about to get on a boat with you to go to some island that's like weird and i was really shocked because my sister who never usually likes anyone it was the one that pushed it and uh even so i was i went and um
at lunch i was just a brat the minute i got there i was like i get seasick just so you know and i was like well i'm here but i don't want to be here just so you know like i was just so mean but he was just so like persistent about it and we actually ended up having a really good time and then i ghosted him as much as i
could because we were working together for like a month i swear i ghosted him for a month i would see him at work and he was like trying to be sweet like you're so beautiful i'm like stop talking to me like i'm you're doing the most right now and basically like we're a year in and we're good um but what i was talking about earlier is
like he was somewhere where i just wasn't yet and i wanted to take my time and i was so good about rushing into relationships and after the first date being like what are we i didn't understand casual dating yeah um you know kind of like they do on the bachelor where they date multiple girls or guys at a time i just didn't know how to
do that so if i went on a date with you i'm like okay cool so when's our next date and if i went on date with someone else i think i did it one time where i was like dating a couple guys and it just backfired on me and i was like i can't i don't understand how people do this and it's okay like i don't get it
so with him um i just was like all right let me just take it really slow we went to catalina but i'm just not there he called me he actually called not text he called i was like what do you what do you want like i'm not here right now and he just kept pursuing which is crazy because everything that i had wanted in a guy he
was doing and i was rejecting it because i wasn't used to it i was so used to being ghosted or being hit up late at night you up or you know being a secret or just all the toxic things that you don't want i was so used to that and he wasn't doing it and so i was rejecting it and i didn't want it and then it took about seven months for me
to get to where we're at now even though like i've been posting about him sooner because i always knew that i wanted to be with him but i just was still kind of hesitant because i i was just scared and i i learned that like yeah it's definitely a choice it's definitely a choice to work through things with someone and he chose
everyday to keep choosing me even though i was acting like a brat but what was it more than the persistence because i'm sure people have been persistent with you before and that's sometimes not enough or was that it was he was just it was just different i just could not let him go for some reason like as much as i tried
i would still pick up his phone call or i would text him like you haven't called me today it was just different i think also my the fact that my sisters not having met him were so supportive of it yeah also yara shahidi i blame her um and her mother because they talked him up and they were like you understand he doesn't do this i'm like
yes he does i'm an actress and the crew i'm sure there's plenty of other actors like you know and so i think finding out that this was out of character for him was what made me be like oh you might be a little different and this is how he got me to hang out with him um after catalina that he came up to me one day on set and said can i come to
church with you what am i saying no no you don't have to you can't come to church my space sounds it's smooth oh nice yeah that's that's amazing i can't wait to meet him now yeah he's great i love it that's but and now if you read francis messages there's so about him on instagram they're so different and adorable and thanks
but it's no it's nice to see i just love i'm so glad you shared that because i love how you didn't run into something rush into something when you didn't feel ready at the same time you know amazing props to him for actually waiting sticking around being patient not washing it yeah and and then actually saying like
yeah this is working for me right whereas today i find like it's i do see a lot of okay let's talk about this because you you could say from your perspective i do see a lot of this today a lot of guys are trying to do everything nicely and well and and provide you know whatever whatever they're trying to do they're trying to
like wine and dine and date and all the rest of it but a lot of girls are like resisting because we're not used to it right okay so tell us a bit about that like is that if someone's in that same scenario what signs should they be looking for as a female or as a male as a female as a female you know i think where i was i was at a point where i was just
tired of toxic relationships and it was really necessary for me to take that break for a year and a half so it was a choice and if you're ready to break that cycle and you know you want a relationship and you don't understand why you're single and you don't understand what's not working take a year and which might sound like a
long time but it took me a year and a half but take a year take six months whatever just to yourself because unless you step away from whatever is keeping you in that darkness you're never going to be able to see the light so it's like you know your body when you start eating healthy and you're so used to eating fast food your body adjusts to
eating fast food but when you start going through a detox you're going through a lot of pain your stomach hurts you're releasing a lot of things and then let's say you eat clean for about a month if you even touch a french fry your stomach starts to hurt because you've cleansed it so much that you're not even used to that
you know that toxic those toxic foods and oils anymore your body's like rejecting it so i think in life and period you have to do that where you kind of have to step away and take that out of your your um vision and so you can kind of clear your mind be more about yourself and then when you step back into it you have more of a
clearer vision of who you are and what you're looking for does that make sense yeah it makes perfect sense yeah when are you writing a book oh gosh no genuinely i'm not i'm not i'm not messing around with it yeah it makes perfect sense yeah makes perfect sense it's the same with any sort of diet yeah and what what signs should guys be
looking for if they're being really persistent they really like a girl they're really making the effort but she's resisting and pushing back what should they really be doing and what signals should they be looking for um i guess the signal with me i mean that that's it's hard i think really understanding where they are in life
the best thing you can do is be their friend that's awesome it's it's beautiful to hear i love it and thank you for being so open and honest and it really helps the conversation i don't think i ever really have i'm starting to more so this year because i've just been through such crazy experiences and i feel like people really
need to learn it just like um i value from it when i go to church because you know pastors they pour their own life out yeah as they're also teaching the bible um i think it's important for us especially given the platform that i've been given to kind of speak out about it and it really does make me feel good when
you know girls come up to me or people comment on instagram that like it really kind of helped their day a little bit and i think that's what it's about at the end of the day it's just kind of giving back and helping grow in this crazy little life so it seems like relationship's been an area where you've really learned a lot about yourself
yeah work has to in terms of the incredible work that you're doing which we spoke about earlier has it been any other area of your life that's exciting you or something new that you're trying to learn right now or something that's fascinating you that that hasn't been around before like what like there's so many things
okay let's let's start let's start with activism let's start with the thing that you're being an activist for something that you're standing up for something you're really passionate about right um obviously i'm super passionate about the latino community right now which is why i'm really excited to bring the mendez story to life and then um i wasn't
so outspoken about you know my culture i mean i was always like i'm latina and i'm proud or whatever but i've had some people come up to me being like thank you for talking a lot more and i was like i gotta be honest i was just i just was scared before because you know i don't want to complain so much about being latina and not being able to
work because you know i've been very fortunate that i am latina and i have been work been able to work in hollywood and and it has been difficult but i also wanted to praise the people that gave me an opportunity and also i didn't want to complain without having a solution someone challenged me in that one day
like okay you're complaining about this what's your solution so now um i'm more open to talking about it and i've because i've gone through i guess sort of a change within myself i wasn't so angry anymore and i've learned to have a lot more grace in communicating and stuff like that and obviously being a voice for those
who don't have a voice being a first generation um uh mexican and honduran american uh just kind of speaking up out about you know what we're kind of going through and how we do bring value into [Music] america as some people might think we don't yeah and you i'm sure you're getting a lot of positive feedback and support yeah yeah
it's been crazy it's been really amazing um the the feedback the support how you know a lot of other fellow latinos are like thank you for finally speaking up which i'm glad that i waited because i'll talk about this and it coincides with that my kidney donation for example many people have been have told me why don't you speak more
about that why aren't you an activist on organ donation and to me my response is it's something that i personally went through it was a personal choice it just happened to be very public because of who i gave it to but i want to be able to talk about it when i'm ready and i don't want to be feel forced just because i have a platform because then
what i'm saying is not genuine it's not sincere and it's still a lifestyle that i'm adjusting to also again it was a personal choice and i understand my platform but i still on need to personally understand why i made that choice and how i feel about it and kind of educate myself more before going out and talking about it
and there's just so much pressure put on celebrities where it's like well you've done this and you've gone through that so you need to talk about it's like no we i i don't i really don't i mean i i will at some point but in my own time when i have the right words and it sounds genuine and not like i'm a robot and someone was feeding me
these lines and because people can tell especially nowadays with social media and stuff it's just so easy to tell what's fake and what's real and what's paid and what's not paid that is such a great lesson yeah like what you just shared is such a great lesson like just a about being ready and be about having the right words it's
not just a broadcast it's not like a tweet it's not just a message of like yeah this is what i'm doing right now because if you've been able to process it learn from there reflect on it think about like what you said like you were just adjusting to a new lifestyle yeah and so when you're transitioning it's very hard to articulate how you feel
yeah exactly explain how you feel and so many people are being forced to just talk about it because popularity etc just breaks you through and people start talking about you a bit more yeah exactly exactly and same with you know growing up a latina and now working in hollywood like i didn't understand i needed the right words i hadn't gone through
enough struggle to really understand until you know recently because you know my dad helped me understand that i can do it you know and most people don't have the advantage so i needed to go through my own hollywood experience to be able to sit here and be like all right here's the deal yeah yeah i love that thank you for
sharing that i think everyone listening that's like a huge huge takeaway yeah i mean there's been so many takeaways from already from our conversation but that's a huge one just about being ready going through the process doing the work going through the journey it's not easy doing the work is probably the hardest part
it's the hardest part like you know being in college studying for the final it's the hardest part is studying and then once you're done it's like okay yeah yeah yeah and then and then comes life and then comes life yeah and then comes other things and then comes other challenges and one thing my therapist said and she
keeps repeating it to me until it finally hit me was nothing in life is fair nothing in life is logical the minute you understand that and accept it you'll understand freedom and it's very true absolutely do you want to unpack that a bit it makes sense as it is but let's unpack it okay yeah well what did you get
so no i love it i absolutely love it i think i say something similar to myself but if we take that nothing in life is fair a lot of people take that as negative so a lot of people hear that and go oh well if life's not fair then life's not going to do anything for me i'm going gonna try because life's not fair right because that makes
me that makes some people not me makes people feel like hopeless and helpless and like yeah life's not fair even if i work hard nothing's gonna happen because life's not fair so i'm just gonna sit in bed all day so let's unpack it from that like how do we how do you understand it in a way that doesn't give you that feeling well i'll speak as
an actress um nothing in life is fair sometimes a person will get a job that i was up for and i know i work way harder than that person and i know that i put more time into studying and this person just got a dui the other day but because they have more followers they got the job that's not fair and so what i've had to learn that is
yeah it's not fair but that also wasn't the job for me that's the door that wasn't supposed to be open another door was supposed to be open for example i was on a show um and i got recast and i was like the hell that's never happened to me it was like i just got fired whoa and it was not fair i didn't understand it was a dumbest
i actually can't even tell you the reason i don't know because i never got a phone call i never got any sort of explanation i kid you not it wasn't fair but then i wouldn't be on grownish right now so again like i said rejection leads to opportunity so i don't know what happened i okay so that person doesn't work as hard
that lifestyle whatever their choices are is not my problem and if i focus on that on what isn't fair then i'm not able to move on with my life it doesn't mean that you're not going to have another opportunity it just wasn't that one which is fine and that's the hard part is accepting okay it's fine that i didn't i didn't get that one
yeah yeah no i love that and that seems to be a recurring theme in your life as well of rejection and an opening oh that's the only thing this business is is rejection yeah it's more rejection than positive i mean i you know i've been doing this 13 years and my resume you know i'm i'm grateful for it but out of the what
let's say there's 10 things on my resume i auditioned for thousands of them and i got no's and i got yeah you know 10 yeses yeah it's such a numbers game yeah like success and failure and and breaking through is such a numbers game yeah it's hard it's not amazing it is hard i remember i i before i ever made a video i had this idea that i wanted to share
mindful messages messages that were hopefully going to be empowering and positive and uplifting and i was pitching it around to all these media companies because i never had any background in the media like no one in my family has ever worked in the media i don't have any network that's ever worked in the media i just
don't know anyone growing up in london all my friends family are like doctors and lawyers and dentists and so i'm pitching this idea out and literally 40 to 50 media companies just said we're not interested because you have no media background you have no journalism background you know you you've never made a video before in
your life yeah despite my the fact that i'd studied and taught that for so long right and and one thing i always say to people is you just need one person to say yes right you just need one yes yeah and we're so worried by like the thousand no's yeah lady gaga says that right now all the time she goes 100 people will say no
to you you just need that one yes but also you need that work ethic to keep going so you can get that one yes and that's what's hard and then you got to sit back and realize why am i doing this is it because i want the notoriety for it or is it because i want to help people because every job is to help somebody
yes it's not just for yourself obviously there's reward to it like you know for example you know for us you know we there are a lot of events and people that we get to meet those those are the rewards that we get for being doing what we do but then there's also the other reward of being able to speak for those that can't speak for themselves
yeah and that's where you got to focus on yeah and you do that so well yeah so much how did you do it though with the rejections how do you do it in a way where you can observe and judge yourself so you know you need to change like because when people when you're hearing know often there's one school of thought that's like yeah just keep going
but then there's the other school of thought like am i getting no because i also need to grow yeah right am i hearing no because i also need to change or progress right how have you factored that into your own work and career um a lot of honest people in my life um and again i was just ready to hear it and change and learn it and kind of talk
about the pain i was going through um when i first started working with my manager he was very transparent with me on you know how people viewed me and then i was very transparent with him like okay so this is what i've been going through and this is why i was acting like this and i'm not that person anymore and
you know my words can say it but my action will say something differently and so um now i just you know my the nose that i get the rejection that i get i'm like i dissected a little bit it's like well let me get feedback always because of this okay all right cool then i'll know that for next time rather than just dwelling and being upset because
some have been career changers for some people and i'm like this could have been me yeah that could have been me but i was too depressed and honestly i would if i would have gotten those jobs that would have changed my career i wouldn't be here today personally i probably would have fallen off the deep end somehow because
i wasn't ready for it and that's when i'm like okay god really knows when you're ready for something or not because i yeah some people get it they're not ready for it yeah absolutely and it's and it's so much nicer when you can actually have your success when you're able to actually navigate it effectively yeah exactly have it when
you can really appreciate it you can acknowledge it you can experience it without sometimes externally having this success yeah but then internally you're not even you know you're not even actually processing any of that right i think it came to a point where it wasn't such a priority to me anymore i remember my boyfriend makes fun of me
now but when we first met i was like where comes first work is number one and then it's family and then we'll fit you in there somewhere like i was so like work work work work and now i'm like ah you know what i just want to be able to eat every day and save and have a home that's all i care about it's not even so
much about getting a job or reaching the capacity i want to go to it's just about being able to survive and because i've changed my mentality just all this work keeps coming and it was i wasn't so focused on it and to where i could appreciate it more and just kind of sit back and take my time with it that's such a beautiful place to be yeah
i mean it again goes with relationships when you're not looking for it it comes to you when you're not looking for that job somehow it comes to you and my boyfriend's really big about that he he's very good about manifesting things and then they just happen and i'm like please teach me that gift yeah yeah like he just
quit a job recently and he was like i don't know what's gonna happen he's freelancing and his phone hasn't stopped ringing yeah and it's amazing to me yeah so like because so many people talk about manifesting as having a clear vision knowing what you want knowing and i have my own thoughts on this but so
many people talk about manifesting as having a clear vision whereas when you're talking about you're actually saying when you're not chasing something that's when people are attracting it yeah how have you thought that whole philosophy through i think it boils down to faith being able to see the things that are not yet in front of you
um so i'll go back to god it's like you know for those that are believers it's like you know that god's always with you you don't ever physically see him you don't ever you know you don't have them by your side but you know that it's there and you know that it's there so even like when when you have a dream in your heart
and i truly believe that god's not going to put a dream in your heart if it's not going to happen but you have to go through the growth of it and that's the part that like people don't want to do yeah my pastor said this one time he was like in a crazy how one day you're like all right i'm gonna follow god and i've changed and i'm a new person
and everything's gonna be great and that's when you go through the worst time of your life you go through hell after you say yes and you're mad you're like it's been a month i go to church a week every week i pray i read the bible why is everything so bad and you know you talk he talks about puzzle and how you got to break the
puzzle and kind of put it back together it's like you want god to fix everything in a week when you've been messing up your life for 25 years and you expect it to be just it's good right away so i think it all just comes to faith and just having the faith that everything's gonna fall in place the way that you're
supposed to so i think with manifesting it's so much more of like just believing in it and letting it happen organically the way it's supposed to and not trying to force things because when you try to force something that's when it's bad or wrong or you just feel terrible about yourself like when you try to force a relationship that you clearly know
you're not supposed to be in and then you're depressed for five years yeah absolutely yeah i know i remember when i trained as a monk so many of our teachings were in the same vein around it when you pray for humility your ego gets crushed yeah so you're like you're praying for humility you're like i want to be humble
i know that it's important to have humility and not have pride and the next thing you know like everyone's like blowing up your comments so like everyone's coming up to you and your ego is getting crushed yeah and so when you're praying for strength you're sent challenges yeah right when you pray for strength you have to be strengthened and that's
going to take challenges and going through pain you don't just get strength you don't just one day wake up yeah with more strength or when you pray for patients yeah and then your patience gets real tested yeah yeah exactly yeah blindly yeah trusting that things are gonna be okay just like we blindly trust an uber
driver to get us safe too with our destination yeah i remember one of my friends actually told me once he was like i don't pray for that stuff because i know it's gonna bring me pain i know he was like i'm not gonna pray for patients even pastors say don't pray for patient that's the worst prayer you're gonna give yeah yeah all right
yeah you'll be really pushed oh really really pushed but you know the other side looks great yeah but everything takes time yeah absolutely and the beautiful thing about getting that ability or that characteristic or that quality or whatever we want to call it that virtue is that it stays with you yeah you now have that in your toolkit
yeah like once you've experienced patience or lived with patience you can now use that again in the future yeah it's not like you lose it yeah one of the things that i value more is grace once i understood grace i've definitely had a lot more patience with people because i understand grace and i'm glad that i went through
the struggle of understanding what grace really was so i can actually walk the way that i have been walking just from understanding that can you define and share your understanding of grace for anyone who doesn't oh god it's so hard to define it um i think just having a patience with people like for example there are so
many mistakes that i've made in my life as we all have growing pains or whatever and god had the grace to still love me through it and take me to the other side i know there's so many people are like i can't walk in church until i'm good with god because if i walk in there i'm going to turn into flames i'm like no that's like
the best time to actually walk into church and that's when the angels are like hallelujah and i think when i encounter people that probably don't have the best spirit or the best attitude i just have a grace for them because i'm like you know what i don't know the pain that they're going through i don't know the darkness that they're in
it might look good on the outside but something might be going on the inside and i just i'm just a little more patient and just like okay yeah i mean sometimes people do press my buttons and i do snap i am human but um i'm very good about going back and be like yo what's going on because i didn't like the way i reacted to this and i reacted to
this because you pushed me this way but like i'm sure something deeper is going on yeah no it's beautiful well explained yeah yeah i know we've always called it causeless mercy yeah yeah sometimes it's causeless like you're feeling that love and kind and support and then you start seeing it in the tough times
yeah and you start seeing it even through yourself being held when you're like oh my god i can't see anything right now yeah exactly um what was it i mean this is so silly but i watch wrestling wwe and a wrestler um no way still yes i love it well there was a wrestler that every time he came out on stage he got booed he got booed and people were mad because
he didn't do a lot of stuff outside of outside of the ring like interviews or meet and greets he didn't do anything and he just came out in the ring about a month ago now and he said i've been battling leukemia for the last 11 years and i it's back and i can't fight anymore so he has to go get treatment again and it really just
told me and showed me like you don't know what people are going through so you're he's getting booed on stage and people are saying he's the worst champion i don't understand why he's where he's at but it's like i think his name is roman reigns i think he just had a deeper understanding of what life really meant
and he when he wasn't in the ring he wanted to spend time with his family instead of trying to grow his fame even more than what it already was yeah and it that put it more into perspective again like some everyone is going through something you just don't know what it is and then you came to that where people were like oh i'm sorry i didn't know
yeah exactly and even the other side like i have a i have a father figure and a spiritual mentor back in london who has been giving himself like a pastor like giving himself to people his whole life like serving the community and thousands and thousands and thousands of people and recently he got diagnosed with stage four brain cancer oh wow
and it was just like he never ever showed that he was struggling because he was able to like wake up early and serve his whole life and give himself and it's almost like a lot of people took that for granted as well and kind of overused it sometimes you know what i mean like when someone's really compassionate and kind and you're just
like oh yeah they're like superman like yeah it's like no one ever loves superman or cares for superman or batman or wonder woman or whatever it is like that person is almost just living for others yeah but everyone as humans has a limit yeah and then people get mad at him yeah uh when i got back from life-size one of my
castmates went through that he had a conversation with me a few weeks ago and he was like you know i was really upset because i had a hard time when i came home you know we were filming in atlanta for a month and we had a consistent job every day i was fortunate enough and i'm grateful and this is the first time this has happened
to me in 13 years where when i got back home i had another job but most of my cast mates had to start auditioning again and we're auditioning while we were filming so it's not even like you can enjoy a job you have to already think okay what am i going to do after this so he was like you know i went through
kind of a depression a little bit and i was really upset that my friends didn't reach out to me and didn't check on me to say are you okay how are you feeling and you know i have sort of a resentment and i said to him i'm like are they actors because they're probably trying to figure out their own life right now you just got back from a job they
weren't working that whole time so instead of being frustrated just ask them are you okay this is how you usually act towards me you're i'm not getting that from you what's going on and you know he didn't think about it that way which we all do we're so used to even me like sometimes i don't hear from my pastor
not understanding that oh he has to help run a church i'm not his only priority yeah everyone's going through stuff and he has two kids you know yeah yeah and i always remind people i'm just like you know if you're struggling to see the support from others just realize that most of those people can't support themselves exactly
just taking care of yourself is such hard work such hard work yeah and and yeah just recognizing everyone has limits everyone has boundaries and sometimes you support so many other people that you don't find the time for yourself and then you're you're running on on empty yeah and then you have nothing to give
yeah exactly exactly yeah no super important okay i'm gonna ask you my last five big questions okay uh oh no it's not scary it's just last five minutes last five questions i always do in every episode okay of every podcast i want to ask you what's the most meaningful thing you're working on in 2019 mendes versus westminster okay awesome
yeah and we're going to see it in 2019 no no we're not going to no probably not yeah yeah i i'm really focusing on finding the right writer to write the script because i really want it true true to the story what are you doing for the most fun in 2019 the most fun in 2019 well i just moved in with my boyfriend so that's just a
new chapter that i think will be really fun and decorating our house oh very exciting yeah and yeah we're going to do some tips on where to shop yeah well i'm looking at all of your stuff like oh this is cute this is great nice i'm glad that makes me feel better yeah and i think a lot more traveling i haven't traveled at all oh no anywhere specific
um we really want to go to thailand we talked about india um we should go together i would love that i'd be amazed you would be the best tour guide amazing oh i'm going to tell him she talked about that yeah so i mean this actually brings up another topic which i know we have five minutes but no no we don't know we've got loads of time
okay have you gone out i'll talk about go for it i was um we've got loads of time oh we've got and i just want to get you out okay well i've got time um 2019 we want to travel more um i'm 30 years old and i have not traveled much and i'm embarrassed to say that because i was i suffer from fomo fear of missing out
and i was too scared to leave town because i was scared of missing out on audition or i was scared of missing out on a possible job or what if or a party or this gathering and i really and i'm sad because i'm 30 and i haven't done anything i'm like i have nothing to talk about and sometimes i'll do interviews and be like what's
your favorite place to travel to and i don't have one if i've traveled it's for work so i'm really um 2019 i'm looking forward to like saying okay i'm i'm going to travel and this is this is what i'm doing and i know there's certain actors that have missed out on really big movie roles because they traveled but i'm i think
they're grateful that they took the time for themselves rather than you know getting that job opportunity which is a career changer but they also have other opportunities to have career changers yeah and you're not old i'm not i'm not but i also i hate that i haven't traveled like i've had the means to and i just haven't
it's great now you're just going to make up for it yeah now you're going to make coffee yeah and i have someone to do it with everybody now which is which is a beautiful thing to have yeah like i said it's exciting that all those i don't know before but all those times when you could have traveled it's kind of more meaningful now so
it is more meaningful now but even before i was so jealous some friends would go to hawaii by themselves just to do yoga and i was like oh i wish i could i just could never leave and i was just so used to being stuck in my bubble i think part of it was my childhood because my dad didn't let us do anything so we were just stuck in our house and i
think i breaking free from that was really hard for me like i can't sleep over people's houses i was never allowed to do any sleepovers so i i'm like no i'll drive home i'll uber it's fine i i have to be in my bed oh wow yeah so we're gonna break that one oh i don't know i like my bed someone's gonna have to like transfer
your bed yeah i can't sleep over anyone's house yeah cool okay nice okay the third big question was around uh so we asked you the most meaningful the most fun the third one i was actually gonna ask earlier you mentioned a book do you read a lot i try to i haven't read as much as i've been wanting to because i mostly read scripts
my favorite book right now is called uh redeeming love by francine rivers it's a christian book i've read that one four times life changing redeeming love yeah beautiful yeah it's about a story in the bible and it's oh gosh i can't remember their characters i remember the book characters not in the bible but remember about the
guy god told to marry a prostitute it's that story but told from her perspective and i've gotten four different messages from it because of each time that i've read it at first the first time i read it because i was in such a broken place i thought it was a love story between the two people and i was like oh my god this is amazing they fell in love
all this stuff and then the second time i read it i was like oh this is a love story between her and god not him he was just a vehicle in order to get her in a relationship with god which i i mean i threw the book i was like whoa and then the third time i read it there's a small part in the book and i threw it again
where uh this book's in bad condition yeah it is um where um one of the characters was asking her the lead character name is angel did you know you could say no i threw the book because i was like wow it really she had a choice to say no but she didn't know how to and it was just it i learned a lot from it and it helped me grow a lot as a
christian reading this book and as a woman amazing thank you yeah and and fourth question before we get to the fifth or fourth question 13 years in the industry all of this experience seeing your family your father what's your advice to young creatives young artists actors actresses musicians get used to the word no
and be okay with it it's a lot of hard work a lot of hard work and i think just enjoy the process of it it's not easy you're gonna have times where you're the lead of a tv show and then you don't work for four years and don't make it your be-all end-all game have a hobby have other things going on one thing that i wish i did and i didn't
do and it's still like you know something i want to do is i don't go to college because i didn't think i needed to and i let an ex tell me that i shouldn't because why do you need college it's stupid um you're gonna be an actress anywhere you're working as an actress and so i wish i had other things to fall back on like there are other things that i'm
very interested in and i you know i put a lot of my energy in it which helps me kind of better myself as an artist so um have other hobbies be okay with no and always study rita moreno told me stay in school acting school she goes i still go to acting school and she's in her 80s you like always study your craft
just like a doctor you want them to study medicine every day and be up to game you should study your your craft just as much yeah because you're dealing with lives too yeah exactly i mean literally you have to really understand human behavior in order to do what we do yeah which you have to really open up your emotions and be vulnerable because
the only reason i can cry and cue is because i've literally tapped into the pain that i've gone through and i've used it in my art it was just painful i love that you said that because i studied human behavior business school behavioral science was what i focused on and and all of my content all my videos is made from that
perspective like that's exactly what i'm trying to tap into whenever i'm making any of in much smaller way than you are but in any content that i'm making that's always my goal to really understand people yeah absolutely yeah and the fifth question what did we not talk about that you wish we did that we can talk about next time
um life size two oh yeah wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait when is this coming right now yes this comes out like february oh well it already aired so life size two um i was able to work with tyra banks who i've admired since i was a little girl on one of my favorite childhood movies so check that out let's talk about it
let's talk about it we've got a bedtime what time have we got okay okay yeah we got a little bit of time yeah um yeah i uh i guess tyra was really looking for this character for a really long time a lot of people like to say that i replaced lindsay lohan i did not replace her this is a brand new character since airing in february i can talk
about it it's known that eve is a doll and there's a doll for everyone and there's a serial number that's under her foot so this is a new eve doll that comes into my life a broken young woman who kind of just needs that push to grow up and be herself and you know go through that pain and kind of grow out of it and eve helps her through that
and i was very honored that tyra came across my tape somehow like i didn't audition for it and mind you i talked about wanting to do a movie before i was shooting season two of grown-ish and i got a phone call randomly one day as i'm getting my nails done like hey life-size too are you interested i was like what they're doing another one one
i was excited but two i was like what part and it was the lead with tyra banks i was like what what is my life right now are you joking me i would have never thought when i was 12 years old watching this movie so it was really fun working with her and getting to know her and and just being in atlanta and now
being part of my favorite childhood movies it's crazy to me amazing huge fan and also it's the beauty of everything we just talked about now like full circle yeah you weren't looking for it you didn't audition for it no it i wasn't looking for it at all and it's crazy because one of our producers um worked on dear white people she was she
is one of the producers of dear white people and i shot about three episodes and the very first director i worked with on dear white people his name is steven sashida i remember our first day he just has amazing energy i was like you're like one of my favorite people and my castmates made me feel like i was so weird for saying that
and it was just like too much too soon and then he was a director on grownish and then he directed lifesize too and i was like i knew it like there was something there and everyone thought it was weird but i just knew that there was like he was just so special yeah amazing i met tara for the first time
recently oh really where i was at this continuum conference which was a social media creator and influencer conference uh just a small collection of us and she was invited and she keynoted and she's amazing she's got an incredible presence and i think we forget how huge her like she just has an understanding and knowledge on so many
different things yeah like she's she's so much she works really hard and all her success is so well deserved and earned she's very plugged into everything she was so plugged into our movie and really wanting it to well because i'm an old fan i grew up with it so she really wanted to cater to us og fans and i really appreciated that
yeah amazing well all successful i'm so excited for her as well thank you thank you yeah we'll see what happens i'm not so focused on like i want to do this i want to do that i know where i want to go and i know where i want to be and i'm just kind of letting god take the ride for it so did i know i was going to be a voice for
the latin community no never never thought but you know that's the where i'm heading and i've been very passionate about it and i really i really like it amazing i love it thank you so much thank you this was fun i know so much your energy is awesome and i'm excited i always feel like these interviews are great because even if
i've never spoken to someone you get to learn about each other so quickly in a short period of time but i'm excited to continue our friendship yeah thank you so meet christian yeah just so grateful that you came thank you so much i'm excited to do yoga with your wife yes and kickboxing absolutely yeah but thank you so much no thank you this is great
this is great all right thanks amazing if you want even more videos just like this one make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here i'm also excited to let you know that you can now get my book think like a monk from think like a monkbook.com check below in the description to make sure you order today