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All we have right now is time and our attention.
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So, where our attention goes needs to be really carefully thought out.
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Therefore, that's where self-knowledge comes in.
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As my compatriot Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living."
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So, we need to examine our lives, examine our habits without judgment, and just begin with micro steps.
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Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow.
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Now, today we have a really special and exciting guest, one of the few people that we've ever had on the podcast twice.
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It is none other than my dear friend, mentor, and someone who I consistently tell you changed my life, uh the one and only Arianna Huffington.
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Now, I'm so thrilled because Arianna is the CEO and founder of Thrive Global.
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She's been named as the world's 100 most influential people by Time magazine, and has also been included on the Forbes most powerful women's list.
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She's a mother, best-selling author, businesswoman, as well as a dear friend of mine.
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And today we'll also be talking about Thrive Global's latest book, Your Time to Thrive.
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If you're someone right now who's been struggling working from home, remote work, trying to figure out how to manage the stress of everything we've experienced in the last 12 months, this is the book for you.
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This is the podcast for you.
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If you're someone who's sitting there at home right now thinking, "Jay, I just don't know how much more I can deal with this."
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This is the conversation you want to be listening to.
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Arianna, welcome to the podcast.
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Jay, so great to be with you.
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I love every day reading and watching you spread wisdom, making wisdom viral. I love that.
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Well, I'm so grateful to you, especially now as we were just talking about the wonderful Thrive Original top you're wearing.
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Onward, upward, and inward. I love that as a motto.
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I think that's a a brilliant mantra and motto.
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It's very much what your work has been about, to remind us that when we go inward, our journey onward and upward is um better in every possible way. It's so true. It's so true.
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And one thing I love that we're having this conversation today, Arianna, is because you built Thrive Global.
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And by the way, I just want to remind everyone, so my first day in New York City was Arianna Huffington's first day of starting up Thrive Global.
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Arianna, I don't know if you remember, we were at the final party, like a celebration party of you uh moving on from HuffPost and starting Thrive Global.
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And and you said in your speech, you said, "Whether you've been here since day one or whether you just joined yesterday like Jay Shetty, uh I want you to know that uh you're all part of the family."
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And I remember just seeing you go off and start this new company, this new organization destined to help people's well-being in their daily lives at work.
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You must be feeling like the purpose of the company is coming alive right now more than ever.
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Actually, Jay, you're absolutely right.
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And you know, anytime you leave something established and successful to start something new, there is a risk involved.
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Uh and I remember actually um agonizing over that decision and talking to Sheryl Sandberg, and she said to me, "Stop thinking about it.
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Just close your eyes and jump.
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And sometimes that's what life requires of us.
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And the themes that we build Thrive around, you know, ending the stress and burnout epidemic, uh making well-being an essential and central part of our lives have now become more important than ever.
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They've really gone mainstream because the pandemic has forced everyone, whether individuals or companies, to recognize, you know, how foundational our well-being is to everything.
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And and finally, Jay, ending the delusion that in order to succeed, you have to burn out.
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You have to power through exhaustion.
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You have to be always on, which is simply not supported by science or data or ancient wisdom. Absolutely. Absolutely.
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And and I think the level of burnout that we've seen in the last 12 months, and I would like to mention that whether that's companies that are growing or struggling in the last 12 months, certain companies went through their biggest growth curve in the last 12 months, and their employees have experienced burnout.
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And then other people obviously were laid off.
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What are some of the trends that you've noticed over the last 12 months of how people are experiencing burnout and stress and pressure?
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What have you been seeing through the data, through your company's work?
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And what are the biggest challenges that people are having?
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So, what we are seeing is that all the challenges that we were facing pre-pandemic have been exacerbated, which is a bad thing, but also a good thing.
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We can no longer afford dealing with them.
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And the primary challenges that we are dealing with are, first of all, the mental health crisis, which existed before the pandemic, but now it's um right in front of us with uh hundreds of millions of people around the world being affected with depression, anxiety and also the skyrocketing increase of
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diseases, especially diabetes and heart disease um which also have become much worse because of the stress levels, but also it's forced us to realize that um we are never going to be able to deal with a mental health crisis or all these diseases if we don't go upstream and change our behaviors. And that's why we
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And that's why we wrote this book to make it clear to people that changing behaviors through micro steps, you know, small daily incremental steps is very doable.
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To actually take lofty goals like I'm going to lose 30 lb or give up sugar or uh work out every day and break them down into the smallest possible actionable step.
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We call our micro steps too small to fail.
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And um there are eight chapters that break down all the micro steps.
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And the first one, because Jay, I believe it is foundational to our well-being, is sleep.
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Um as you know, I'm an evangelist on sleep.
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Uh we all sleep and increasingly during the pandemic we've all had a harder time sleeping or falling back asleep after we wake up.
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In fact, there is a term called coronasomnia.
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But there are small daily steps we can take to improve our sleep and to reduce the stress, which makes it easier to sleep.
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I I'm so glad that you brought up sleep and coronasomnia, which I which I had not heard actually, but I I know when I read your book, Sleep Revolution, that really gave me the permission to feel like I needed quality sleep. It really did that.
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Like I when I read it and you shared the stories of so many of your friends, CEOs of large companies all over the world who prioritize sleep, one of the things I find right now, the reason why people are struggling at home to sleep, to practice, what's a micro step they can take towards better sleep?
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And I love your idea of micro steps because I practice it in my own life and your definition actually is the best definition I've ever heard of a micro step of too small to fail, because if you fail at a step, then it wasn't micro enough.
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And so that's a great great definition.
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What's a great micro step we can all take towards getting better sleep during this time?
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So, Jay, actually, out of all the hundreds of micro steps in the book, my absolute favorite is to pick a time at the end of the day that you declare the end of your work day.
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And to mark this end with a ritual, because, you know, we are creatures of rituals.
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And the ritual is turn off your phone and charge it outside your bedroom.
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Now, you may say to me, "You know, Arianna, that's too big a micro step for me."
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I'll say, "Not a problem.
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Jay, can you pick one day a week when you can do that?
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Maybe Friday night or Saturday night.
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Just start wherever you are.
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If you say, "No, Arianna, that's too big a step for me." I'll say, "Okay.
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Can you just put your phone on airplane mode?"
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But instead of putting it on your nightstand, which 72% of people do, put it somewhere further away.
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So, if you wake up in the middle of the night and you can't immediately go to sleep, most people they go to their phone.
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And that's like allowing your day life with all its challenges and and problems to invade your night life, which is the time to really deeply surrender to sleep and recharge.
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So, that's my favorite microstep.
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That That's a brilliant microstep, and I love how compassionate and empathetic you are in in simplifying it and making it easier every time. I love that microstep.
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I I think it's absolutely brilliant.
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And I love I remember years ago you built those beautiful phone beds. Yeah, they're fantastic.
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phone bed is great if anybody listening has children and they are about to be given their first phone.
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We have this charging station that looks like a little phone bed.
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You can put the phones under the blanket, tuck them in, and reconnect in the morning.
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So, you teach your children like phone hygiene.
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Which is the sleep your phone and you don't sleep together. I think it's brilliant.
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I I think it's such a it's such a cool idea, and you've made it you've made it trendy again for people to know how to have these habits.
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And I think what I like about your approach, Arianna, is that it's very real.
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And And even that, it's almost comedic. It's funny. It's It's playful.
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It's not It's not like this harsh discipline. It's not military.
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There's this There's this love and joy behind it.
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I see on Instagram you're always posting joy triggers.
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I I always post post your joy triggers.
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You are my go to I love it.
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You are my go to place for joy triggers and we both we both recognize the importance of joy.
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In fact, you know, for me, Jay, um joy is a barometer of how I'm doing.
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Uh it's like at some point in my life I I knew I could be effective and productive, right?
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I didn't have to prove that to myself anymore.
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So, my test now is am I bringing joy into my daily life?
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I'm not talking about all the time.
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I mean, I'm dealing with challenges, I'm dealing with problems, I'm working on my own reactivity, you know, I'm a work in progress. I'm on this journey.
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But, if I can't find joy in what I'm doing, it means that I need to course correct.
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It's almost like a sign for me to course correct.
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And that's like the key to all our micro steps.
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Uh to recognize that um we all have this place of wisdom, peace, strength in us.
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It's like our birthright, right?
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And nobody lives there all the time.
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And uh the opportunity now is to be aware of when we are not there and how quickly can we course correct.
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It's almost like on course, off course, on course, off course.
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And a judgment free zone. Yeah, absolutely.
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I feel like right now everyone's judging themselves to be the perfect person, the perfect partner, the perfect parent.
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And it's exhausting because we're all dealing with something that we've never experienced before.
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No one's ever been in this situation before in history. And and here we are.
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What are some of the ways we can become more loving to ourselves, more more empathetic to ourselves at these times?
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Because like you said, you you were asking yourself, how can I bring joy into my life?
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I think a lot of people are asking themselves, well, maybe I'm not working hard enough with my kids, or maybe I'm uh you know, maybe I'm not working out enough, or maybe I've been How do we How do we train ourselves out of that, or how do we approach that and navigate that properly?
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Well, as you know, Jay, the first step is to accept where we are and not judge it. Mhm.
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And loving ourselves is kind of a prerequisite for really truly loving others out of our overflow.
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And uh so for me, um gratitude is the antidote to anxiety, to stress, to guilt.
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So, I practice what in the book we call habit stacking.
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So, anytime I'm doing things that don't require my brain, like washing my hands, washing the dishes, uh washing my hair, I repeat to myself things I'm grateful for.
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Like right now, I'm having my bulletproof coffee.
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I don't know if you like bulletproof coffee, but I love it.
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And I'm grateful for this every morning.
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Uh I'm grateful that I'm here with you, and this is um it fills my heart.
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Um I'm really very grateful every day that I I do work that is meaningful, going back to on purpose, and has an impact on people's lives.
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I feel extremely grateful for that.
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So, remembering all these things, the constantly, literally, Jay, as you know, moves us from the sympathetic nervous system, the fight or flight nervous system, to the parasympathetic nervous system.
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Uh gratitude and anxiety cannot coexist.
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What I love about this moment we are in is that modern science is validating so much of ancient wisdom.
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Uh if you take um what I consider the hero feature in our app and in the microsteps book is the 60-second reset.
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And I love the fact that if you tell people, you know, can you take 20 minutes to meditate?
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They may throw their arms in the air and say, "Oh, Yana, I don't have the time to take 20 minutes to meditate."
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Can you take 5 minutes to meditate?
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"Oh, that's really hard." Do you have 60 seconds?
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We break it down to 60 seconds.
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And 60 seconds another favorite microstep in the morning before you go to your phone.
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60 seconds to set your intention for the day, to take deep conscious breaths, to remember what you're grateful for, anything, kind of almost like reconnect with yourself before the world comes at you.
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And so that is at the heart of every religion.
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If you look at um Islam, let's take Islam.
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I mean, the call to prayer is kind of unbelievable.
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It's like these tiny interventions during the day when you have to get up from what you're doing, stretch, which is great, and um reconnect with something larger than yourself.
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And every religion, you know, Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism have like these short moments.
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You know that having been a monk um that bring us back to center.
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So, we we've integrated that in our app and in the micro steps for anybody who um, feels overwhelmed with their to-do list or their Zoom fatigue or whatever they're dealing with.
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That's that's such a brilliant piece of advice and I love how again no one can say they don't have 60 seconds.
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And it's amazing that you spoke about Islam there for a moment, too, because I was recently in Dubai where the call to prayer is happening in the morning and throughout the day, the five times a day.
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And I went skydiving for the first time in my life and the free fall is exactly 60 seconds.
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And so for anyone who doesn't say that 60 seconds is a long time, it's enough time to get your intention right in the morning. It's a brilliant amount.
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So, the the skydive was 60 minutes uh sorry, 60 seconds of free falling and then 6 to 7 minutes of parachute falling once the parachute is released.
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And now that you're saying that, I when I was in that 60 seconds of free fall, I was trying to meditate and pray and and experience and you can achieve a lot in 60 seconds.
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And so I think that that is such a for anyone who's there going, "Well, you know, 60 seconds, what am I going to do in the morning?"
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We don't realize we pick up this within 3 seconds or 1 and 1/2 seconds.
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And so 60 seconds in the morning, that is such a a brilliant invention because just being present with yourself and letting your heart rate naturally get up, letting your brain actually wake up, letting your mind wake up.
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Uh, that's such a great micro step.
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And now we've brought it into our team meetings at Thrive.
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So, we We our team meetings with these 60-second and we have everybody can create their own reset.
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Like you could create a reset with pictures that you love of your wife, your loved ones, quotes, music, everything.
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And in 60 seconds you are reminded of what you love about your life.
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So we play this somebody from the team plays their reset.
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Which also connects us to each other.
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So there's so much we can do that connects us with ourselves, connects us with others and doesn't take a lot of time.
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Wow, so every meeting starts with someone sharing their 60-second Sharing their reset.
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I'll send you mine just to see.
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You know, it's pictures of my daughters, uh my favorite quotes like Rumi, live life as everything is rigged in your favor, landscapes of Greece, music, and a breathing pacer. 60 seconds. I love that.
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I mean every company should be doing this. This is brilliant.
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I I love this advice and I hope everyone who's listening and watching, I hope you're thinking about your Zoom calls and how you can start your next Zoom call with your company set differently.
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I hope that you can recommend this to people within the company.
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Arianna, tell us a bit about that.
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Let's say some of our listeners are inside an organization but they're not necessarily a leader or a senior manager.
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How do they affect change?
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You've You've worked at the beginning of a company, you've owned companies, you've sold companies, you now have a new company, you have employees at all different levels.
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How does someone more junior in an organization create change when it comes to health and wellness?
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So one of the great things about this time, Jay, is that these questions of well-being and transformational change within companies is no longer just the province of HR.
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Everybody's talking about it from the C-suite to every intern.
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So, anybody can raise their hand.
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There's such a a greater opening to people expressing how they are feeling, if they need help, um come up with ideas to suggest.
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And um anybody who wants more ideas, please reach out to me on Instagram, LinkedIn, you know, any any medium of communication, and I will be happy to send you a lot of ideas.
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In fact, we have partnered with Zoom.
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And Zoom is bringing Thrive Reset as a downloadable app, so that anybody can actually download it and be able to create their own reset.
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But, even without that, anybody can have these 60-second protocols.
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If for anybody who is maybe thinking, "Oh, this sounds like warm and fuzzy, you know, for a high-growth um uh company."
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Let me just tell you um I was um interviewing Marc Benioff yesterday on my podcast.
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He's an investor in Thrive.
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And um we were talking about how he starts meetings with closing his eyes for a minute.
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And everybody around him knows that he's not zoning out, he's not going to sleep, he's just coming fully present to tap into what is best in him, his creativity, his empathy, his best ideas.
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So, we I always like to make it clear that a lot of high-successful people use these small micro steps to make them even more effective, and that these things are not like for people who just want to chill under a mango tree. Absolutely.
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No, I I I think these are I love that you've built an app into Zoom that's Thrive Reset.
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I think that's fantastic.
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I I think that we live at a time where we need these digital tools to remind us of being more present with our physical, mental, and emotional, and spiritual selves because we've become so wired to our devices.
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We need our devices to help us in that process.
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How have you found though, Arianna, that a lot of people just feel this addiction to scrolling and you've worked with Tristan who is obviously The Social Dilemma.
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I remember when you introduced me to Tristan's work years ago before The Social Dilemma even came out.
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Uh tell us a bit about that approach that you've seen through your microsteps with people's addiction to scrolling endlessly.
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Like me and you look for joy triggers, but what if people are just scrolling on Instagram and TikTok and losing themselves in that?
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How have you found to help people remove that addiction from their lives?
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Well, first of all, it is a real addiction.
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And that's why our second chapter in the book is called Unplugging and Recharging.
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You know, how can we unplug from what has become uh so dominant in our culture?
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Basically, everybody in our lives is competing with our phone.
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Uh your wife, your children, uh your friends.
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You know, it's as though this thing is the most interesting thing in our lives and we can't separate ourselves from it.
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So, as Thich Nhat Hanh said, you know, it has never been easier to run away from ourselves. Mhm.
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Yet, at the same time, we can use, paradoxically, uh digital um tools to help us disconnect from technology.
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It is a paradox, but truth is often paradoxical.
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So, you know, there is a example is one of them.
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But, the fundamental problem of our addiction because it is real requires us to take steps.
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For example, if you are particularly addicted to to Instagram, take it off your front page so that you have to download it.
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You have to be intentional to go there.
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I mean, there are great stuff.
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There's great stuff on Instagram.
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Uh really, I mean, I I love following you and and I get joy from the quotes and from everything you have.
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But, there's so much that leads to comparisons, that makes people feel less than.
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Um that is just something we need to honor and love ourselves enough not to expose ourselves to all that because all we have right now is time and our attention.
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So, where our attention goes is needs to be really carefully thought out.
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And um therefore, that's where self-knowledge comes in.
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Um as my compatriot Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living.
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So, we need to examine our lives, examine our habits without judgments.
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And just begin with micro steps.
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You know, if you can't take um a social media account you're particularly addicted to off your phone, can you move it to gray?
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Can you uh and uh all notifications that are not personal?
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I have no notifications on my phone.
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I don't get breaking news because first of all, 99% of the time it's not breaking.
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And And second, I every time I don't want to be constantly interrupted.
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That's how we need to see that.
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Anytime I want to get the news, I go get the news. But it's on my timing.
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Yes, I I love what you said there of setting the time of when do we want a piece of information?
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When do we want to reach out to this person?
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When do we want to connect with this idea?
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I think that that what you just said is intentional curated living.
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And unfortunately, our world has made us unintentional livers.
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We We live unintentionally and unconsciously where we're just exposed to whatever anyone feels like exposing us to.
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And then, you know, you may not be in the right mindset to take on some breaking news.
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And I loved what you said.
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Half the time breaking news is not even breaking news.
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It's It's It's just trying to get our attention.
27:54
Uh tell me about Arianna, what's What do you think has been your biggest challenge in the last 12 months?
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Personally, and also what has been your biggest opportunity that you've seized and that you've gained and and grown with in the last 12 months?
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So, um the biggest challenge has been that Thrive has been growing very fast.
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So, I had to hire a lot of people that I have never met.
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Yeah, that's crazy, isn't it? It's crazy. And you know, I'm Greek.
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I want to break bread and look you in the eye.
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And I had to hire a CEO and a head of business development and a head of sales.
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I mean, really very senior positions um that I have never met.
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And that took um took some kind of developing some new um intuitive abilities.
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Um being able to look in the eye through Zoom and um and like trust these feelings that you you want to trust when you are hiring somebody that goes beyond their resume and their references.
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The the best thing has been that in this year of incredible pain and grief, we can never underestimate that.
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You know, it's it's a he's been a year of unbelievable losses, losses of life, financial losses.
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Um we also have a catalyst for transformational change.
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And as you know, Jay, transformational change is hard.
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Like we have known for a while that we had to change the way we work and live, that the breathless, frenetic way we're living is not sustainable.
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We have known for for a while that the growing inequalities um in our country are unsustainable and unjust. Racial inequity.
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We've known for a while about the existence of these problems.
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I've been to so many conferences about inclusive capitalism, etc. , etc.
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Planetary sustainability, but so little has been done.
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And now, as somebody said, a crisis is a terrible thing to waste.
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So, we have an opportunity to use this crisis as a catalyst for fundamental change. Mhm. I I agree.
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I What really resonated with me with what you were saying is this challenge of having to create human connection through digital media where we've never met someone.
30:41
I think that is a really it's truly I've I've also made mistakes in that department in the last 12 months because in the same way my work was growing and I've had to think about hiring and recruiting through through digital and I haven't got it right many times because yeah, your intuitive capabilities through a screen.
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I mean, we know each other, we've spent time together and so this is very comfortable. Yeah.
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What are what are some of the questions that you've asked people that you think were really powerful that people here today if they're listening or watching could use in their digital meetings with people to help understand people better.
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What are some of your favorite questions in interviews or or questions in conversations that you feel have helped you intuitive abilities?
31:27
So, if you are going to to work with somebody um for me the most important thing is um what is our number one cultural value at Thrive and this is compassionate directness.
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This is my my number one cultural question because in any relationship whether personal or professional, things come up that you're not happy with.
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Um you know, that frustrates you.
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I mean, you've talked about it even with your beloved wife.
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You may you may have arguments, disagreements.
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You need to have a way to express them.
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Otherwise, they fester and they become toxic.
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The same applies to professional relationships.
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And if you are not able to surface discontent, frustrations, disappointments and express them, you can't deal with them.
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And Jay, it's much harder for people to do that than uh than it sounds. So, I I to dig deep.
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Uh ask for examples where they they were able to be direct with a manager, with anybody.
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It's not just with the peers. To express, to disagree.
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And I feel cultures that have achieved that are healthy, thriving cultures.
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And otherwise um a lot faster.
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If you come to me, if you work at Thrive and you come to me and complain about someone in the company everybody knows.
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I'll say, "Okay, let me just bring them in."
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Or let them let us just all get together on a Zoom and talk about it.
33:23
I don't want to hear about it without the other person being present.
33:28
I don't accept anybody coming to me to complain without that other person being there.
33:34
So, that everything can be out together.
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That for me is number one.
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Unless, you know, somebody comes and complains about something illegal or egregious or sexual harassment or something.
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I'm talking about the everyday complaints of people who work together. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely.
33:53
I I uh It's so when you talk about your values so strongly and I love that compassionate directness. Again, it's a paradox. Yes.
34:03
You want to be compassionate.
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You don't want to be adversarial.
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But you want to be direct. Yes. Yes. Yes. How do you define that?
34:11
Are you are you good at that? You know what, Arianna?
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I've realized that recruitment is a completely different skill to the attracting of energy in your life.
34:24
So, I feel like me and my wife have very similar values and we've found that thankfully.
34:30
And I have really good friends and I have really good uh relationships, but I find that recruitment is a is a real challenge.
34:36
Uh it's it's difficult to truly understand if you can be of service to that person and if that person is also going to serve with the same values and I think I'm learning.
34:48
I think I'm genuinely speaking I'm learning.
34:50
I'm reading a lot about it.
34:51
That's why I'm asking you about it. It's very useful.
34:53
And and I like how value-centered your approach is uh because I think today also what's really interesting is I was hosting a panel for LinkedIn the other day or multiple panels and one of the biggest talking points was around uh the difference in well-being needs of a diverse organization.
35:15
So, realizing that people from different demographics, different genders, different backgrounds, different walks of life need different support in well-being.
35:22
What are you seeing in how well-being and diversity affect each other in the programs that you're implementing?
35:28
Especially when it comes to unconscious bias, it also comes to uh a lack of sensitivity to understanding someone's background.
35:36
Well, we actually um have a whole training around the connection between well-being and diversity because what do we have found scientifically is that when you are exhausted and running on empty you are less empathetic you are the worst version of yourselves.
35:56
So, you are less likely uh to be open to people who are different from you and to create a culture of belonging.
36:06
Because diversity is not just a question of numbers.
36:10
It's creating a culture of true belonging where everybody feels at home.
36:14
It's not just to have so many African-Americans and so many Asians because what's the culture like? Yeah. How home do they feel?
36:20
How do they connect with everyone?
36:24
So, that again micro steps uh going back to that recruiting conversation, and that applies to people applying for jobs as much as to people hiring.
36:40
Never, never enter that conversation if you are tired.
36:44
Now, it sounds very simple, but anytime I've interviewed and I'm tired, I miss all the subtle things. Yes. Yes.
36:53
And also, psychologically, you just want to cross one more thing off your to-do list. Mhm. Mhm.
37:00
Uh so, you are like um more likely to just say, "Okay, good.
37:03
That sounds good enough."
37:05
Especially in times like we're living through now, when we can't just do maintenance.
37:12
Like these times are challenging.
37:15
We need to be able to access our creativity and our empathy and the the best in us.
37:21
And and that's why it's more important than ever to prioritize our well-being.
37:25
How How do you know, as someone who's been so successful, how have you known when to push and when to press pause?
37:36
Because I feel that as you're on a journey of acceleration and growth and momentum, even when you're doing what you find purposeful, like I love what I do, but I work really hard at it.
37:53
And I've overtime, I've had to understand this this balance between pushing and pressing pause. How have you find that?
37:59
Like how does someone know when to push forward, when to work a bit harder, when to stay up at night versus when to start pulling back?
38:07
How How do you find that balance?
38:10
Well, first of all, um Jay, I've I've done it wrong so many times.
38:17
Um including, as you know, I'm collapsing from doing it wrong and hitting my head on my desk and breaking my cheek bone.
38:24
So, I learned the hard way and through a painful wake-up call.
38:31
And what I'm clear about now is first of all, there is no such thing as balance. Mhm.
38:37
Uh it's not like you can balance, you know, your work, your life as the same every day. That doesn't exist. Agreed.
38:45
The key is what are the baseline things you need to do to show up your best?
38:56
For me, my baseline is sleep.
39:01
And uh the science on sleep is categorical.
39:05
Like, unless you have a genetic mutation, I don't know if you do, people with a genetic mutation only need 4 hours of sleep and that's 1 to 1 and 1/2% of the population.
39:14
The rest of us need somewhere between 7 and 9.
39:20
You know, Tom Brady famously says that he gets 9 hours of sleep a night and he considers it absolutely instrumental to being able to win a Super Bowl at 43.
39:32
So, if he had said, "Oh, you know, I really want to win the Super Bowl.
39:34
I'm just going to power through exhaustion and and work out and train more." He would not win.
39:43
You know, that's really what is amazing that our culture for centuries has believed something false. Yeah.
39:51
You know, I'll sleep when I'm dead, you snooze you lose.
39:57
And I went back because I'm a bit of a nerd to try and understand how come an entire culture has believed something false.
40:04
And it goes back to the first industrial revolution when we started revering machines.
40:11
And what's the goal with machines?
40:11
The goal with machine is to minimize downtime.
40:17
And what's the goal with software?
40:20
We brag, you know, this piece of software has 99.
40:22
999% uptime, but the human operating system is different.
40:29
Uh downtime is a feature, not a bug. Yeah.
40:34
And now we need to um have this mindset shift that acknowledges that we are swimming in a culture that's driven by principles that are not science or data-based.
40:50
Yeah, I'm so glad that you are such an evangelist for this movement because you know, I came to a point in my life where I realized I either I had two choices.
41:04
I either slowed down or I invested more in my health.
41:08
And what I realized was that the more I invested in my health and the more priority my sleep was, my exercise was, my diet was the more I was actually able to extend myself.
41:22
So a lot of the time when people told me that they just had too much on, my first question would be, do you exercise?
41:28
And they would say, no, I haven't exercised for years. And I'd be like, okay.
41:32
And then I'd say, well, do you sleep 7 to 9 hours?
41:33
And they were like, no, I sleep like 6.
41:35
And I was like, oh, okay.
41:37
So you start to realize that a lot of our experience of low productivity or effectiveness or burnout is because we're not actually investing in our health.
41:48
So I know that when I've exercised and when I've slept well, I can actually do more in less time.
41:52
And and as you said, you don't want to do an interview when you're tired because you make mistakes.
41:59
You you feel like you're actually making better decisions.
42:01
This morning I played an hour of tennis and I meditated for 2 hours before that.
42:05
So now when you're getting me, you're getting like the best version of me.
42:09
I also slept I'm trying to think how many hours did I sleep last night?
42:13
Yeah, I slept eight and a half, which is my sweet spot.
42:16
I like eight and a half hours.
42:17
So, I slept eight and a half hours last night.
42:19
So, I'm able to give you my best energy.
42:23
And you're so right that if I missed tennis today, if I didn't meditate, if I'd slept badly, I would feel like this was a lot harder, right?
42:30
Like I would even though it's the same thing.
42:32
And also it would feel just like another chore.
42:38
Like you know, like oh, another thing I have to do.
42:41
And you know, this is not a dress rehearsal.
42:43
You know, even if you believe in reincarnation, you know, it's this is it.
42:48
So, to find the joy in what we're doing, we need to come from that place of fullness.
42:54
And I'm so happy you're saying that.
43:00
We need to shout it from the rooftops.
43:03
To to help people eliminate their fear that if they invest in their health, they are not going to achieve all that they want to achieve because it is a fear.
43:16
And and a lot of people have achieved a lot uh through powering through.
43:20
So, you can have a lot of examples of that.
43:23
But you can achieve more if you invest in your health.
43:31
And also you can have a life live a life which has more meaning and purpose because in the end, the definition of a good life is not just a successful life in terms of money and status.
43:49
It's also a life of well-being, tapping into our wisdom, giving, wonder.
43:56
And if we miss out on all these things, we have a very shrunken view of existence. Absolutely.
44:04
Tell us Arianna, I've got a few more questions for you before I let you go, but tell tell our audience how they can recognize if they're experiencing burnout.
44:17
Because I feel that today we don't even know when we're experiencing burnout because we don't have that time to sit with ourselves and we're not aware how what are the signs of burnout that someone can be aware of so that they can say, "You know what?
44:30
I need to start doing what Arianna is saying.
44:32
I need to do that 60-second check-in.
44:33
I need to put my phone away in the evening.
44:35
I need to sleep for 7 to 9 hours."
44:39
What are the signs of burnout that we miss because we're so busy that we don't even realize what we're going through?
44:48
First of all, that's such a good question because we do miss the signs.
44:53
And we need to kind of fine-tune our antenna.
44:57
And I would say there are three signs that are predominant.
45:02
And the first is actually when we begin to feel to be very negative and cynical about our work, our lives.
45:13
Uh that's a sign that we are not connected um to our center and our essence.
45:21
The other is when we really wake up in the morning and everything feels like drudgery. Mhm.
45:29
Like we can still do things.
45:29
We can be transactional and get through a busy schedule.
45:35
But it's we have to be pushing ourselves.
45:37
And often we find ourselves going to carbs or sweets to give ourselves energy. And I love my coffee.
45:44
Nothing wrong with coffee, but I stop having caffeine at 2:00 so that it doesn't affect my sleep.
45:51
And uh noticing, you know, all these like ways that we try to fuel ourselves because we We really have any natural health if you are in us.
46:04
And the other is very simply our productivity.
46:08
I mean, you can see it in any area of your life.
46:12
When you are when you're running on all cylinders, you know, things can be done so much faster. You are clearer.
46:20
Um and when you are exhausted, it's like I mean, for me, like trying to write an article when I'm exhausted seems like overwhelming.
46:30
So, there are so many little signs that we can begin to notice.
46:33
And the other thing I'm a big believer in and we practice at Thrive is having an accountability buddy.
46:44
You probably do that with your wife, but having somebody who can say to you you know, hey Jay you seem off today or you haven't done this job.
46:54
And not in a critical way, but you know, can you can you stop for 60 seconds?
46:59
Can you is there something this afternoon that we can reschedule?
47:07
You know, kind of see your see your schedule also as something that is fungible.
47:12
If you are if you are not feeling fully yourself, is there some Are there some things that can't be rescheduled? Yeah.
47:21
Unless really on your death bed.
47:22
And other things that you can reschedule. Yeah, I love that.
47:27
I'm I and I the accountability thing for me is huge.
47:32
Uh I know that I'm I need someone to keep me accountable in different areas of my life, whether it's exercise, whether it's diet, and having that commitment.
47:41
And And what I find is the most important thing about accountability is being ready to receive feedback.
47:48
Because you can find an accountability partner and you can find an accountability buddy, but if you don't want to be told that you're wrong or that you could improve something, it all goes wrong.
47:56
And I find that with my wife.
47:58
She's so good, but if if I have my big ego on that day, you know, you don't allow yourself to receive it because you you just want to defend yourself.
48:07
No, no, no, I I I'm getting it right, but I found that in my own practice, being able to be humble enough to actually hear someone out and realize they're telling you for your own good.
48:18
Like my wife will always say to me, "Eat slower. Eat slower."
48:19
She'll always say to me, "You're eating too fast."
48:21
And I'll be like, "Yeah, but I've got so much to do. I'm so busy.
48:25
I've got I've got to go to this place."
48:26
And she's just saying it for my own good.
48:28
She's just, you know, she's not saying it for her body.
48:31
She's saying it for my digestion and my body.
48:33
And and I think being able to receive humbly is is a really, you know, I I definitely it's something I think that we all struggle with and can work on more.
48:45
Um but Ariana, I you've been amazing.
48:45
I want to ask you what we always do, which is our final five.
48:49
You were amazing last time.
48:52
This is our last five questions which you answer in one word or one sentence maximum. That's it.
48:57
Uh so these are your final five uh questions.
49:00
Uh so the first question, Ariana, are you ready? Yes. Okay, great.
49:06
The first question is what's the first thing you do in the morning?
49:11
The first thing I do in the morning is the 60 seconds to set my intention for the day. Amazing. I love that.
49:19
Uh what's the last thing you do at night?
49:21
The last thing is to write down three things I was grateful for for the day from the day. Beautiful. Question number three.
49:30
A habit you wish you started earlier.
49:35
Recognizing that life is shaped from the inside out and that changes all the habits. I love it. Question number four.
49:43
A habit you're trying to develop right now or something you're trying to work on right now.
49:49
Uh I'm working on reactivity. So, being less reactive. Mhm. Taking deep breaths.
49:59
And then acting or saying something. Nice. I like that. Okay.
50:03
And fifth and final question, your favorite micro step from the book Your Time to Thrive.
50:11
So, um my favorite micro step beyond everything we discussed Yes.
50:18
is the um recognition of the superpower of our breath. Mhm.
50:24
Um and specifically practicing what Navy SEALs practice, box breathing.
50:27
I know that's more than a sentence, but inhale to the count of four, pause to the count of four, exhale to the count of four.
50:38
Absolutely great advice, great insights.
50:41
Everyone, please, please, please, if you're listening to this right now, Your Time to Thrive will be available everywhere books are sold.
50:47
Make sure you go and grab a copy.
50:49
I really believe that right now is the time to build these micro steps when we're in this stress, in this pressure, in this challenging situation, there's no better time.
51:00
Don't wait for the right time or a good time or a better time to build these micro steps.
51:04
If you build them right now, you're going to feel so strong, so confident, and so powerful when we move out of this space uh slowly into the future.
51:14
Ariana, I thank you for your amazing insights.
51:16
I loved everything you shared today, and they're so practical yet so philosophical. And uh I I miss you.
51:23
I just want to hang out with you again and see you and And we're going to write write write together.
51:27
And and let me know what color you want, and I'll send you onward, upward, inward, words to leave you with.
51:40
If you want even more videos just like this one, make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here.
51:44
I'm also excited to let you know that you can now get my book Think Like a Monk from think like a monkbook. com.
51:54
Check below in the description to make sure you order today.