0:00
We meet again, man. >> Yes, sir.
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0:01
>> It's not even a meeting anymore. It's just a catch up. >> I know.
0:03
It's been uh I don't know how many times we've sat down, but it's always it's always awesome.
0:09
>> You said something to me when we spoke away from all of this just briefly on a on a on a messaging thread.
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You were like, "Man, I've known you 30 years."
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And I had to take a step back. And you're right.
0:17
We go way way back to the very beginning of your time with the with the guys in Blink.
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And um you know it's funny that I was reflecting on that for a brief second because I feel like you've been reflecting on all of all things for a minute to get this documentary ready.
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Um you're such a futurist.
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You're always thinking about what to do next and what else you can create.
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Um but this is a chance for us just to sit in this experience for a second and honor this dock.
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Um thank you for releasing it.
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Congratulations on making it. >> Thank you so much.
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Yeah, I'm long time coming, >> you know, >> literally.
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I mean, you make you you started making it in 2017.
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>> Um, and there's so many things I want to talk to you about within it.
1:00
Not from a relive it point of view, but just from a a sort of now that you've done it to reflect on it and and how it changes your life going forward.
1:10
But I guess the the best place to start, Travis, is why make it?
1:19
It started right after I finished my book or after my book came out and that that was the beginning of it and I just thought it would be cool especially cuz I came so close to not being here.
1:33
I was like it'd be really it would be really cool to share my story and share a more in-depth version of my story than my book which would be the documentary. Um, yeah.
1:47
And at that time, my mindset was like, yo, I'm the only one left.
1:54
Feel like I could go at any minute.
1:54
Um, and I thought there was like so many good learning lessons from my my doc.
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Whether it's if you're from a small town and your parents don't have money and you're, you know, grow up very, you know, minimal like low income family, you you could still dream and you could still, you know, achieve your dreams and and succeed if you just keep pushing.
2:24
Um, and then the story of, you know, like just survival, you know, whether it's like when my mom died or uh my my plane crash, it's like you have a couple choices.
2:40
You can either curl up in a ball and let the world just, you know, like completely take take over you and give up or you can fight and, you know, even come back stronger than you were.
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Yeah, >> I mean that is beautifully and succinctly put and more cap captured in more detail in this um sort of 90minute and change film. >> Yeah.
3:08
>> You know, and it it it really struck me when the story started how little we actually knew about you and how how effective you have been at being very successful in your life, very recognizable, but also very private.
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um and how it felt to start to open yourself up in the book and then in the documentary to let people in because I think in the all the times we've spoken up to this point, it's never even dawned on me that I would go down some of these conversation routes with you because you were just a very private person and I wanted to respect that.
3:47
>> I loved being the quiet one. I that was my favorite.
3:49
I loved being the mysterious one.
3:52
Not on purpose, but it's just >> you didn't want to fight it.
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>> It was that's how things naturally happened.
3:58
I was in a band with, >> you know, two of my my best friends that were really loud and crazy and, >> you know, would say really unhinged stuff and it it kind of allowed me to just take, you know, like fall back and >> really focus on the music and keeping our live show intact so they could go have fun, you know.
4:18
Um, >> and also you can't compete.
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Like the two competing is funny, >> dude.
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What could I say to out out outdo them too?
4:27
It's like I don't even know, you know?
4:30
>> I mean, there must be some moments when you're behind the kit, especially in the around the first 3 to 5 years of you being in the band.
4:36
And I don't know how tapped in you are to what they're saying or how much you're spending getting ready for the next song, but you can't help but hear what they're talking about.
4:42
And you must just been sitting on the drum stool just like, "These guys are out of their minds." >> Yeah.
4:47
I mean, it's all it's everything all my friends I grew up skateboarding with, we would say when we were out skating or whatever you say with your friends, but then they're like, "Yo, this is used as like for applause in between songs. It's wild, you know?" I know. >> So, um, >> yeah.
5:04
So, I I really liked being in kind of in the cut a little bit.
5:08
That was like my thing, you know?
5:09
So when you did open up in the times before we've gotten to hear and read and see the story come to life, when you did open up, did you have people in your life that you would speak to about things that were troubling you or have you been kind of processing a lot of this in particular early life trauma kind of in an isolated individualistic way?
5:34
>> Yeah, I think from the time my mom passed away, it was kind of like just be tough, you know?
5:39
That's what my dad taught me.
5:40
My dad was like a Vietnam vet and you know biker like I don't He was I was very much like kind of raised to just be strong and be tough and kind of not talk to anybody.
5:52
Um >> so I I guess I I don't even know I don't even know what kind of form of grieving I was doing.
5:59
It was kind of non-existent.
6:00
Just kind of bottling it all up and um really just keeping things moving so I didn't have time to think.
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That's always been my thing. >> Yeah. >> You know. Yeah.
6:10
>> Um, I'm sort of still like that, you know, that's what I do. I dive into music.
6:14
I dive into being productive.
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That's that's all I've known since I was a kid.
6:19
Um, but, you know, you're in a really happy relationship in a in a beautiful marriage, it seems, now.
6:28
And you've got your kids growing and grown and growing.
6:30
And it's, you know, I'm 52, you're just turned 50.
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So this is a time in our life we take a step back and we realize that all of the challenges of life and the relationships that worked and didn't whatever is you can kind of take stock and put it into a ball and go okay this is it.
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This is the shape of my life. >> Yeah, for sure.
6:48
After I had kids that that changed because I figured out I figured out so much. I had great parents.
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Like my mom and dad were amazing.
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It didn't take me long at all to figure out I was a a great dad and I wanted to be the best dad I could be and be as close as my mom and dad were like to me.
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So that's all I lived for.
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It was like the most important thing in my life once I had kids like um it [clears throat] I just never never turned back.
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Um, if anything, it was it was really hard.
7:24
Almost had like identity crisis once I had my kids because I was this this person who didn't care and would just tour and smoke and do drugs and take pills, whatever.
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And then I have kids and I'm like, "Oh, I got to really I got to change up now."
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Like, because all I want to do is be alive for them and be healthy for them.
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So, there was like a big push and pull.
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It's an arm wrestle though for a while. >> Yeah.
7:51
It was like even cuz your psychology is built into to your point at that stage up until that point your psychology is like whatever decisions I make I will live with.
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They're for me and the only people that will ever question them are my parents or my in this case your dad. >> Yeah.
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>> And sorry dad I'm my own man. >> Yeah.
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>> And now it's like to your point it's like I have to leave that person behind pretty fast. >> Yeah.
8:17
It was it was different because playing music and being a musician took me out of like where I grew up which I felt like there was no way out you know there wasn't a lot of success stories from where I grew up.
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No, no one really got out of there.
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I think Sammy Hagar lived there when he was a kid and he got out like he was like the the person everyone talked about but it didn't seem possible when I was a kid and no one around me was like oh yeah you're going to do that or yeah we can do that or didn't think any of us could do it.
8:50
I think everyone just thought they were confined to where where we were.
8:53
Um, so it it was it was a it was uh even take away drugs, alcohol, pills, just an identity crisis of like, well, this is how I make money.
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This is how I make a living, but I just want to be home with my kids because I also I think from a young age and like losing my mom at a really young age, I always had this fear of like, oh, is that going to happen to my kids, you know? >> Yeah.
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>> So, that that was a struggle in itself.
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And then, you know, you figure it out.
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You know, you have faith in God and um you know, you're leaving and you're going on tour because of them.
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And because it was my dream to play music, you know, it's like never thought it was possible.
9:39
You know, >> you got to figure out how to bring them along for the ride, too.
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And they got to see the world and be a part of that experience, which is the blessing of success, really.
9:48
I mean, the ability to be able to afford to do that and to have the space and the crew to be able to help you do that.
9:53
Um, but it comes from one very very fundamental relationship, which is the relationship you have with your drum kit, with those sticks. >> Mhm.
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>> Um, we've never really had the chance to go in and be quite granular about that.
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Um, but I do see the relationship people have with instruments as being precious, very special.
10:10
It's more than a way of communicating.
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It's it's an extension of who you are.
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And it probably is at times being the most non-judgmental relationship of your life, you know. >> Yeah.
10:21
And I want to talk to you about your relationship with drums, with the store, with the kit.
10:24
And um how you see it, not how we see it on stage or hear it on record, but how you define that relationship.
10:32
>> I mean, I can say that it's it's a form of therapy.
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It is therapeutic for me.
10:39
When I go play, if I play every day, even if it's 30 minutes a day, I feel so much better.
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feel like I've communicated or I've I've expressed myself in a way that I can't do like this or even with my wife and my kids, you know, and that's really really special.
10:55
But this is something it's just something different.
10:59
It's a different form of communication and a way of expression >> and you know, how do you see the instrument in itself?
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Like it it's not just a collection of of bolts and screws and finishes and skins and rattles and all these really important things that make the noise, right?
11:21
Like it's design, its makeup, its feel, how you choose to make it your own.
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These things are all really personal decisions.
11:29
And again, I'm not trying to overromanticize it, but like I say hi to my guitar all the time.
11:36
>> Yeah, >> I walk past it. It's next to my bed. I love this guitar.
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It's a vintage acoustic Taylor and I love it.
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And when I first picked it up and strummed it, it was mine and I knew it.
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I knew it was like waiting for me and I and I'd love to just again just to kind of lean into that a little bit more how you see each kit that you have and the components of it.
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>> To me, it's an extension of myself.
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I almost feel like bare without it.
11:58
I don't know if you've ever read or listened to Tim Grover, like that book Relentless, >> but he talks about like some people put a mask on to like go out on stage or whatever and they have to put on this persona or whatever.
12:15
>> Um, and I'm the exact opposite.
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Like I have to put the mask on to to be away from my drums and just come here or go get coffee or go what anywhere without my drums.
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Whereas like when I'm with my drums, it's the opposite.
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I don't need to put anything on.
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I don't need to have I don't need to get wasted before I play. I'm like that's my home.
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That's where I feel most comfortable.
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>> Anywhere else like, >> you know, accepting an award or doing an interview.
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That that's like putting a mask on for me.
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I'm like, "Oh man, where the are my drums?"
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You know, [laughter] like I feel I feel bare without them.
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>> And that's one of the things I love about the documentary when people get to see it is the very essential parts of your story.
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uh you are playing the drums and you're soundtracking this and accentuating parts of these stories through your playing.
13:01
It's really effective right down the very beginning in the relationship you showed between physical fitness, boxing in particular and the drumming and the fighting, you know, connection between the two.
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>> Yeah, >> it's pretty cool.
13:12
Um, I want to talk about the moments during the making of this documentary that when you I think the quote is like this documentary will come out after I'm dead like it ain't going to come out >> and what was prompting your feeling about what you were making because you continue to make it but you hadn't committed to releasing it or letting people see it which is a really interesting way to tell your story without distribution as a thought.
13:40
Well, at that time I wasn't working on it.
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It was completely it was just dead.
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>> There was no talk of it.
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It was >> just locked away and didn't talk about it for I think almost years, you know.
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>> Uh >> at what point in the in the documentary was that how much had been shot and filmed do you think at that point?
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So, up until the time pretty much up until the time I I'm with Courtney, it was about no maybe about 2017.
14:11
I think 2017 is when we started it >> and it was a lot of the footage that's on the boat and it's like beautifully shot and uh >> we got to a point where the producers were thinking about an ending to the the documentary and >> they had this idea of me walking in a plane or towards a plane or insinuating I'd fly again.
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And at the time it was it there's not even no considering I I wouldn't even think I wouldn't even think about it.
14:49
Thinking about it would >> give me so much anxiety, you know, >> when you can't shoot it unless you're going to do it. >> No. Yeah.
14:55
>> That's not a documentary.
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[clears throat] It's a fabrication of life.
14:57
>> And it seemed like like fraud to me, you know, because it's like but that's not a reality.
15:01
I would never, you know, >> but also every conversation we ever have after that someone it's going to be like, "Hey man, so you're flying again."
15:08
You're like, "Well, actually, I didn't do that." >> Yeah.
15:10
Actually, like when my We I lived in Culver City for a long time and um there was like an aviation field trip that we had to go to and my poor daughter couldn't even like she walked onto a plane and I I didn't really say anything with her and I was going to go in there with her.
15:24
She ended up balling her eyes out leaving like it was just like there and it was right around the time they had pitched this to me >> and I was like you're out of your mind.
15:33
It's never going to happen.
15:35
>> Um >> different ending guys. >> Yeah.
15:37
So when I I think two things happened when I said that'll never happen and I kind of felt like how do you even have the nerve to ask me to do that?
15:45
I think it also deep down inside bugged me that this thing had power over me.
15:50
[snorts] >> But I didn't tell anyone.
15:51
I was just like so I I felt challenged at that time and I I ded it and in my head I didn't share with anyone but my goal was to fly again and my goal was to get over this huge thing that had power over me.
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I just didn't know how or when I was going to do it.
16:13
do it. But I I did have the mindset where and I had you know I don't a lot of people know some people don't know after they see the dock they will like I had six transatlantic crossings to to Europe um that I do from actually to New
16:27
York to to London which is like 10day boat rides I would you know I was on a bus all you know for 10 15 years like I didn't fly and I think all that took its toll on me and um every time I did a trip like that it would remind me. Oh,
16:41
Oh, this thing has power over you.
16:43
This thing has power over you.
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>> Uh, and then fast forward, the doc's dead.
16:48
I remember one time I I had shared it with I think I shared it with Kels and like someone else X or someone that I was in the studio with and they were like, "Yo, that dock is so special and good."
17:00
And it wasn't even finished yet.
17:03
[sighs] I was like, "Oh, it's it's dead to me." Whatever. Whatever.
17:07
Uh Bobby Hundreds had seen it because like his neighbor um had worked on it too and he was like you have to release it.
17:14
And I think it was like people saying that they saw it and they really it really touched them also helped me think about releasing it again.
17:23
And then when I got with court, um, you know, I I just started opening my eyes a little bit more.
17:30
And I had said to her one time, I was like, "If there's ever a trip you want to go on that we can't drive to or take a boat to, just tell me, but don't tell me before.
17:43
Like, don't, you know, less than 24 hours notice.
17:45
Let's just I'm going to do it." And she was like, "What?
17:48
You don't have to do that. Whatever." I was like, "No, no, no.
17:51
I just I've I'm saying it cuz I mean it and I want to try and then um she just she planned something one time.
18:00
time. Um >> there's so many beautiful reasons why I can imagine you would think that that through because first of all right was was it partly because you didn't want to not be entirely available to her and to your family and to have to your point you mentioned multiple times something having power over you means you're not
18:22
entirely available to experience and to all the possibilities of what this love can bring to you right it's like I can only go so far I cannot do that I can imagine that's really really hard when everything else has just opened up all this possibility of what life has in store for you cuz of new love, new new lease on life, right? >> Yeah. It was similar to how I felt when >> Yeah.
18:42
It was similar to how I felt when I stopped doing drugs where I just was like where you have the epiphany and you you you have the realization that this thing has power over you like you just you just can't quit doing it.
18:55
Like you're just whatever you want to call yourself.
19:00
like you're weak, whatever, however you have to like amp yourself up to beat it or be more powerful than it that that it's kind of similar to what flying did to me, not flying did to me.
19:12
And then knowing my kids couldn't fly because of something that happened to me when >> they were just kids, but my kids never flew either.
19:20
Like I mean, if you think about it, our our our entire lives were infected by by affected by this thing, you know?
19:29
Um, so yeah, it just like it just started piling up where I just started seeing it in front of me and I'm like, "Oh, I'm going to attack like I can't do this anymore." >> Respect.
19:38
I mean, so hard and it's really it's it's beautiful and difficult to watch in the dark, but rightfully so.
19:44
And it's really clear that to some degree you are trying to clear the path for them to move forward in their life as well. >> Yeah.
19:51
I could like if I could do it, it meant my kids could do it.
19:54
Um, it meant it meant so many things.
19:58
I could, you know, I think deep down inside too, she would, you know, even my wife would be like, "I want to take you here."
20:04
And I'd be like, "How the are we getting there?" >> Yeah.
20:07
>> You know, I don't think we're going to go there.
20:09
And then I'm like, "Ah, I don't think that >> Yeah.
20:13
>> You know, anyone, you know, like some of my best friends that I lost in my accident would want me not flying or would want this thing to have power over me."
20:22
I'm like, that's that's not how this this plays out, you know? >> Yeah.
20:29
>> Um, so yeah, there was just so many things and uh touring would be easier like every everything my life would just my life would completely change.
20:39
My kids' life would change.
20:41
>> And have they been able to fly? Your kids? >> Yeah. >> Amazing. >> They fly so good.
20:44
I mean, they fly better than me.
20:46
>> You know, it's incredibly impressive.
20:46
I would say not to create hierarchy because it's different for every single one of them.
20:50
But I it's one of the one of the key moments in the documentary is the moment when your daughter is Alabama. >> Mhm.
20:57
>> Where she was, I guess to some degree tapped into something about that particular trip and she didn't want you to go and and that happens when you're a parent and you leave and they're of a certain age.
21:07
I remember when I'd go on, you know, we have to go away or whatever.
21:10
They don't want you to go.
21:12
That's the safety changes.
21:13
Safety zone changes, security zone changes and they miss you.
21:15
But it felt very pointed and it felt like, you know, she was really tapped into some energy.
21:20
And so I can imagine that was particularly hard for her because of that that story that she's probably been told that like on that day like something was going on.
21:27
You maybe you knew you didn't know, but something happened. >> Yeah.
21:32
And it's hard as a parent cuz you're like uh she's just she just doesn't want me to leave, you know?
21:38
But I could tell it was more.
21:40
Um, I mean there was so many signs with that particular trip that I even like talk about in the dock, but like I knew before I got on the plane, like I called my dad and I said, "This isn't this this isn't good, you know, and like >> if anything happens, make sure my my kids are all taken care of, whatever."
21:59
Like, it's just I had never really practiced the idea of like this doesn't feel good, I'm not going, you know?
22:05
But at and at the time I was probably too high to even I don't know be like, "Oh, this gut feeling is real."
22:14
It's just I I don't know what it was. I I'm not sure.
22:18
But >> now I you know, >> now that I fly again, I'm like this tale never changed.
22:24
I'm not going I'm not going on [laughter] this plane because I I do I I do like you know I fly but >> there's still uh a certain list of things that I need to that need to check out before I get on a plane. >> Yeah.
22:40
I mean I'm obsessivecompulsive. I can relate to this.
22:42
It's a control mechanism.
22:43
It's a way of trying to deal with the with the perceived and potential chaos of life. >> Yeah.
22:49
>> You know and it's exhausting but it's kind of keeps us going. >> Yeah. Yeah.
22:52
I mean, but you see you see like when you don't do it, what happens?
22:57
Whether it's like my accident or like that poor >> like woman that was like bungee jumping in Brazil where they just forgot to put I don't know like humans like we make errors, we make mistakes and if I could just make sure like okay you're a great pilot, >> you haven't been drinking today.
23:14
Uh I feel comfortable with you.
23:17
What you know what I mean?
23:18
Like that's so important.
23:20
And I've been on tour where uh just recently actually where we're playing and I'm having a great show and I look over and I see the pilot getting he's wasted dancing on the side of the stage and I'm like >> the pilot who's supposed to be flying you back. >> Yeah.
23:34
And my whole show I'm just watching him.
23:36
I'm like, "Oh yeah, he's drink what?"
23:38
You know, I can't like I just see it and I get off stage and I'm like, "Yo, I'm not flying.
23:42
Like this man is sauced."
23:44
You know, he's over there partying.
23:46
Sure enough, he was drunk.
23:46
But like, yeah, I feel like there is things like that that you catch and you should catch and you should >> pay attention to and call out when you see it happen.
23:56
I'm like, I'm not I'm not getting on an airplane with you, you know?
24:01
>> Did you used to play Did you ever play your instrument under the influence or was it what occurred after the shows or >> Not really.
24:07
I care so much about how I play and I and um usually it's high energy.
24:12
Yeah, >> I did one time like Tom and I on it was Blink No Doubt Cypress Hill tour >> and I I've always been close with B Real and Sen and everyone.
24:23
They're like Trav it's the last day of tour.
24:25
You got to you always smoke after the show.
24:26
You got to smoke before the show cuz we're leaving.
24:29
And I'm like >> I'm like man I really don't want to.
24:33
It's not you know like I [laughter] love getting high.
24:35
Just wait until I get off stage.
24:36
He's like nah homes we're leaving right afterwards so just just come on just smoke.
24:40
Dude, let me tell you, it was the longest show.
24:44
And like like songs felt like they lasted forever.
24:47
And I'm like, it was like it was like my body was working, but everything up here was silent.
24:51
And I was noticing stuff I don't normally notice.
24:55
Tom came to me halfway through the show and he was like, "I want to go home."
24:58
And I was like, "Me, too."
24:58
Like, [laughter] it was so awful.
25:01
Mark didn't know what was going on, but it was like, yeah, smoking before shows is not my thing.
25:07
I sort of feel like maybe B and Sin kind of got you that got you on that one.
25:11
I feel like they I feel like yeah, they may have wanted to it may have been a nice thing and they wanted to have that memory, but I think also they were probably on the side that I don't think they left is my point.
25:18
I think that I think they watched the whole show, you know.
25:21
I got through it, but it was Oh gosh, dude. It was like torture.
25:25
>> I I usually like back in the day when I would smoke, I would stop smoking around, >> I don't know, like 2:00 p. m. 3:00 p. m.
25:33
and then sober up by the time I go on stage at 8, you know.
25:35
Um, >> there's only I think the only other time I did it is with uh I I showed up to AOL sessions with game and I came and I had broken my my arm.
25:48
>> It was like during plus 44 times and I came to just to be supportive.
25:52
I was like, "Dog, I'm not I'm not playing cuz I broke my arm, you know?"
25:54
Um, and he's like, "Oh, no, you could do it with one arm."
25:59
And I'm like, "Nah, bro."
25:59
I'm like, "I'm not I don't think I'm going to do it like I I didn't even practice it cuz I knew I wasn't going to do it cuz I broke my arm.
26:05
And he's like, "No, there's a kid here.
26:07
Let's go up to let's go up to the roof. Let's smoke.
26:09
Let's come down and play."
26:10
And that AOL sessions there was no rehearsal.
26:12
I was high as a kite and I had one arm and I just had the pressure of game being like, "Motherfucker, you're doing it. Let's let's do this."
26:21
>> I was going to say, I feel like he must a pretty intimidating figure when he wants to where he's just like, "I think you're doing this."
26:26
>> It was more like I couldn't let him down. Like that's my homie.
26:28
I was like, "I cannot let this man down."
26:29
like even with one arm and he's like, "You could do it.
26:33
What are you talking about?"
26:33
You know, and I have no drum tech there. I'm like, "Okay."
26:37
Like, you know, like figure it out.
26:40
It was It was legendary, though.
26:42
So, I'm I'm glad when stuff like that happens.
26:44
And I'm >> I I practice and I prepared for situations like that where I can be like, "Okay."
26:51
>> I feel like they were all legendary when you get into a situation with the kind of people you're rolling with.
26:54
I mean, you know, you're not in Oakuckland in the '90s like I was trying to make a joint out of a $20 worth of shitty seeds.
26:59
I mean, you know, you're with transplants. >> Yeah. Rapper weed's different.
27:04
>> Rapper weed is very different. Yeah.
27:05
What who's the strong what's the strongest you ever smoked?
27:09
>> I mean, we always had the strongest.
27:09
Me and Skin Head Rob when people would come and and smoke with us, they would be I won't say any names, but they would be Comomaos.
27:16
They would be they couldn't leave my studio.
27:19
>> You can give us one name.
27:19
No one's going to feel bad about that.
27:22
>> You know, someone we both know.
27:22
I don't want to put out anyone else but like Kels's one time he came and skinned Rob was on tour with me >> and we were smoking >> like the early before the show like in smoking around 2 or 3 >> and he comes early and I I had just actually like started hanging with him like when he'd come when I'd come to Cleveland he would come through >> and this man tried smoking with me and Rob and he was done.
27:45
I think he couldn't find his way out the venue.
27:48
Um, so yeah, like but that would happen a lot. That would happen a lot.
27:54
That's the one thing like, uh, yeah, like legendary stories of I could I could definitely smoke.
28:01
You know, >> you um, you and the and Tim and Skin Hair Rob gave us, you know, a fleeting amount, but a really essential amount of really exciting music, honest raw punk music.
28:15
Um, and and you know, we'll I've spoken to you and and uh Mark and Tom multiple times.
28:22
I never really got a chance to talk to you guys as transplants properly.
28:26
Maybe one time in the BBC, I think, very long time ago.
28:30
Um, and I just wondered sort of like how how that has changed your life, that experience of knowing that, you know, you have this other family that that that you can check in with.
28:38
Um, and just what that vibe is like being in that band because it it feels very far removed from what success has become for Blink and all the things that come with it.
28:49
I feel like Transplants is >> it's never going to get above the curb side from an attitude point of view.
28:56
>> No, it's beautiful, you know.
28:56
It's beautiful like that.
28:58
I was in the height of Blink and Box Car Racer when I did transplants and we would we went out and played clubs, you know, us distillers.
29:08
Um, >> it was it was just so fun.
29:10
But that was like self-titled album wouldn't be what it is without Transplants >> straight up, you know.
29:17
Um, >> Transplants was just very spontaneous.
29:25
Drums were recorded in a the basement of Tim's house with no light bulb in it.
29:31
Um, everything Skin Head Rob is singing about actually happened.
29:34
you know, it wasn't like fantasy or like stories like it was it was like how we were living at the time. It was wild.
29:43
Um, and Tim had just learned how to use ProTools, so >> the production and it was it was just raw.
29:53
It was like >> I I have trouble even calling it a punk band.
29:58
It was like drum and bass mixed with hardcore mixed with punk rock, mixed with rap. No, no.
30:02
You You Tim and you guys brought ProTools to the rehearsal room, not took the rehearsal room into ProTools. >> Yeah.
30:13
>> You broke the software to fit the band. >> Yeah.
30:16
We didn't really know how to use 808s, so we were like crashing out on 808s. 808s were everywhere.
30:19
Um, Skin Head Rob was on a sick one at that time.
30:26
Like really living really wild.
30:29
Uh >> it was yeah it was a it was a a moment you know a moment in time.
30:36
>> There's a moment in the documentary where he talks a little about like um when you guys were partying really hard and and obviously he seems like he's made life changes too and you know it just he sort of glazes over a little bit but it's not like from a sort of reflective like wow we had wild times man.
30:52
It was almost like how do we survive that was the vibe I got from the way he was talking.
30:57
I mean, my story is interesting.
30:59
Uh, I'd like to say I would have figured out a way or I would have made the decision.
31:07
I think I'm pretty confident I would have with with the way my life panned out with all my beautiful children and my family and stuff, but my my getting sober in my rehab was my plane crash.
31:21
Uh, being in a burn center for six months.
31:24
Um, I think I went from doing a lot of drugs recreationally to being in a burn center where I like they couldn't even get my medication right because I had recreationally take taken painkillers for so long. You know, I struggled.
31:46
I was awake every surgery.
31:48
I woke up swinging on doctors that were saving my life.
31:50
um I had no control over it, you know.
31:54
Um so after that experience when I got out I never wanted to do drugs again.
32:00
I it it it was just the last thing I wanted to think about.
32:05
I couldn't even take my medication.
32:07
I didn't want to take it felt like I was taking anything had had to go.
32:11
and and all my doctors were uh were very um supportive about like and tried to talk me into saying there's nothing wrong with taking these meds, whatever.
32:22
But yeah, pain meds, uh bipolar meds, anything cuz I I was struggling a lot with, you know, survivors guilt and all this other stuff and just the trauma of the accident.
32:34
Um but I stopped everything and I just did post-traumatic worked out a lot and played drums most importantly after I got, you know, to a place where I could.
32:47
But yeah, from from then on it was like I'm I'm I'm just done.
32:53
What was your version of post-traumatic therapy like from a sort of like um because there's so many different levels of intensity to that?
33:01
And I can imagine that for someone like you being having been through what you've been through and living the kind of life you've lived the sense of being on the run constantly searching for new adventures, new experiences that you would have needed a very specific type of person to get through to you to help you that someone with a handbook is not going to be able to make much of a difference.
33:20
So how important was that process and and um how distinctive was that experience for you doing that?
33:28
>> Uh I think there was a couple sides to it.
33:30
There was there was accepting like the losses and and who I lost in the accident and everything that happened.
33:39
There was also that person that you're talking about that was always on the run, always on the move. I'm doing this.
33:45
I'm playing three shows a day. I'm playing with DJ. I'm here.
33:49
I'm playing with transplants here, whatever.
33:50
You know, next, next, next.
33:52
>> And then life just goes and you're in an accident and they're like, "We might have to amputate your foot.
33:55
70% of your body's burnt.
33:59
>> Your two friends passed away.
33:59
The two pilots passed away."
34:01
Like, I was I was just I was so overwhelmed, you know.
34:04
Um, so I had a great post-traumatic doctor in the hospital cuz there was times where I was like suicidal and I was like I was just losing it. He was so helpful.
34:19
Um, >> I also got really close with my burn doctor, uh, Dr. Grossman. >> He was awesome.
34:27
And then, I mean, once I was able to see my kids, that was the best post-traumatic therapy I could ever have cuz I just had something to live for, you know.
34:37
>> Um, but continuing talking to to a a post-traumatic, you know, years after my accident. >> Yeah. Yeah, understandably. I mean, I I don't know.
34:48
I >> I think having somebody who isn't in your life, >> but can give you a way to a better way to see life >> is one of the greatest gifts we can afford.
34:59
If we can afford it, we could provide up for ourselves. >> Yeah.
35:02
I think everyone around me was like, >> "Get up. Go go go do it again. You know what to do."
35:06
You know, like once you're able to do it, like we we all know what you're going to do.
35:10
Where he was like, >> "Do you want to keep doing it?" >> Yeah. Great question. >> Are you good? Like, great question.
35:14
You could also just stay home with your kids for the rest of your life and never play a show again if you want or you don't have to fly again. Don't ever fly.
35:21
Cuz I think I was already thinking about I'm never going to fly again.
35:25
I'm never going to, you know, all the things I would never do again. He was like, >> so what? Like so who cares?
35:29
How important was that simple question of like decision making is available to you?
35:38
You don't have to do anything.
35:38
Like I can imagine that was quite a profound moment for you who's been going from one objective to the next your whole life. >> Yeah. Dr.
35:48
dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr dr drums and music was my survival forever, you know.
35:51
Also like you know I think it's all I knew.
35:56
It's like I was a trash man before I was a successful musician, you know.
36:02
Um so it's all I knew and that's like what I've been like programmed to do.
36:06
But yeah, I think hearing that was was really helpful.
36:09
And then am having am who survived with me for the the year I had him and just being able to talk to him and be supportive of one another.
36:19
Uh I think we played about 6 months after I got out of the hospital.
36:26
>> Um that was just to know I could do it again felt good, you know, and am and I could do it again felt really good.
36:33
Uh that was I knew that was like my calling and that's where I wanted to be besides being with my children.
36:41
I never wanted to stop playing music.
36:43
How I would play music and how I would tour and how I would travel was uh uncertain for me.
36:50
You know the documentary is beautifully done.
36:54
Um you bring everything to the table.
36:56
Um and so there's a huge amount of respect to anyone who will watch this documentary in terms of how open you have been in through a remarkable and at times very challenging life.
37:11
The AM part is very emotional. Very emotional.
37:16
Um not just because of the kind of person that he he clearly was and will always be for people from a spirit point of view. >> Yeah.
37:25
But also, and I felt this way when when you know Chris passed away and others like him, you know, where it's like you get through all of this life and it feels like it's wide open for you >> and then but you can't make it to the next stop on the road. >> It breaks your heart. You know what I mean?
37:44
Like I think of all the songs Chris Cornell has given me as a fan of of his of his writing that have helped me through those times when I thought I'm not going to find it easy or worse and he couldn't make it.
37:53
It just broke broke my heart to pieces. >> Yeah.
37:57
It's like the people who who kind of um give you strength.
38:02
>> It's hard to see them >> hurt or >> Yeah.
38:05
>> or lose them, you know. >> Yeah.
38:07
I I don't want to linger too much on that because I think it I think that's a very private personal relationship that you had with him and the friends of people who know him really well will will carry that. >> Yeah.
38:21
I mean, my [clears throat] my doc is so therapeutic for me.
38:22
It's I mean, it still kills me every time I watch it, but it's it gets a little easier every time, you know.
38:30
Um, along with I mean AM and my doc and his story is really beautiful.
38:38
Also, Am's documentary is beautiful and it's like >> if you see one, you you have to see the other. Um, true.
38:45
And uh yeah, he's just he was not only the illst DJ ever, but like one of the best humans ever, >> man.
38:54
I mean, I don't don't think there really is one, but there I mean, there's a blink dock, right?
38:58
I mean, that in itself, a proper authorized unless I missed I don't think I ever have. >> There isn't one.
39:04
No, there's a bunch of one. >> Yeah. >> Uh oh.
39:08
When that happens, it'll be it'll it'll be something because there's so many >> so many things.
39:14
Our band is so I mean so fun and so like just full of energy, but then there's like this dark side to the band, you know?
39:24
>> No I mean that day we spent in your studio and we were hanging out and I mean just that moment we're in your drum room >> and it finally came to the surface >> and we talked about how it was going to it was going to and we'll navigate it
39:36
throughout and after the fact >> and that moment where you could just see Tom looked at me at one point and he was just like I mean it's just beat up Tom day I guess like he was [laughter] just getting hammered you know. >> Yeah. And I just think about like how >> Yeah.
39:48
And I just think about like how much you guys have had to kind of like just endure just to keep the friendship alive.
40:01
Bands are they're like marriages.
40:03
>> Uh I'm in the studio with a lot of bands and I see it in in other bands, too.
40:09
>> [gasps] >> Blink is definitely unique in the sense like we'll break up and then only get back together if someone's about to die, you know, and if they survive, then the band's getting back together, you know, that's the that's the reward.
40:23
>> That's why you write that song, right?
40:25
It's the final break of that spell. >> Yeah.
40:27
I was in the studio and we were we were about to write another breakup song or another song you dedicate to your girlfriend or your wife or someone and and I'm like, >> "Oh no, the Blink is very unique in this in this way that it it takes one of us to to almost die for us to play music together.
40:49
Even though, you know, we have this beautiful chemistry and this amazing band and this beautiful history of songs and being in a band together, it's like nothing I've I've experienced ever.
41:01
It's almost like if you and a girlfriend, you know, you're like, >> "Babe, you almost died.
41:05
Let's get back together."
41:07
You know, it's like >> it's uh it's kind of uh >> it's kind of cold.
41:12
It feels like sometimes, you know, but uh >> it is that's that's the chemistry.
41:18
That's the dynamic of Blink, you know. >> Yeah.
41:19
I mean, I think we live and hope that it's not going to be thea that case anymore and that, you know, perhaps like life and maturity and and all the lessons learned will will define it in a different way for the three of you. >> Yeah.
41:29
I feel like we're all grown enough now and like mature enough to know like this is Blink 182.
41:34
This is like the lineup and it and it won't change and if one of us leaves or something happens, it's just done, you know?
41:45
But it's not going to continue on with, you know, Paul, Dick, or Harry, whoever.
41:50
You know, it's like it is it is what it is.
41:54
>> It's the three of you. And it was the day.
41:56
Can we go back to that first show where you filled in with 1 hour's notice? >> Yeah.
42:01
>> Which you touch on in the dock, but what that felt like for you to be behind the kit on that day and how vivid your memories of that show with them given that you didn't know the music, but of their account is that they knew the second that you started playing that that was it.
42:15
there was no other drama for this band that this was it.
42:17
Did it feel that way for you as well?
42:21
>> Uh I mean I would hope it did feel that way but I didn't even think that was attainable.
42:26
I didn't even think that was a possibility.
42:27
You were just filling in. >> Yeah.
42:28
I was doing exactly like what we described uh with game where it's like I'm I'm I stay ready so I don't have to get ready.
42:35
And I just I would always practice, you know, that's that's all I knew from the time my mom died is practice, practice, practice. Stay busy.
42:43
You can always get better. you never stop learning.
42:45
Uh that that was always that was always where my head was at.
42:51
And um so when that when that opportunity came and I knew the tour was going to be cancelled if I didn't play and I've been hanging out with Mark and Tom every day anyways cuz we had so much in common even though I was in like the opening band, the Aquabats.
43:04
Mark and Tom both grew up skateboarding.
43:06
Like we both love The Cure.
43:08
We both love Propagandhi. We love The Descendants.
43:10
Um, we had so much in common and I would watch a lot of their shows.
43:15
So, some of it I would just be like, "Oh, I know a couple songs and then it was I got to do this.
43:22
There's no there's no there's no there's no way I'm not going to do this, right?
43:26
I'm going to like, yeah, I'm going to make it so the tour goes on and so we don't have to cancel these shows and I'm going to kill this set."
43:32
I mean, you know, >> that's like the mindset.
43:34
You know, >> your band at the time just must have been It must have just been like watching somebody fall in love with another girl slowly but surely.
43:41
You know, it's just like, "Hey, you seem to be spending a lot of time at the bar with her." Oh, no. We're just friends. Are you sure about that?
43:47
>> Yeah, it was it was it was such a hard time for me.
43:49
Um because I love the Aquabats.
43:52
Like I I still love those guys.
43:54
Those guys are so >> awesome.
43:56
And at the time I was I really just I got a taste of touring and being in a band with the Aquabats.
44:03
>> And it was my dreams came true. Like I had already won.
44:06
Like if if if anything was to happen to me at that point, I was already touring in a band. >> Put that wet suit on.
44:11
You were like, "I won the lottery." >> I was like, "Yes." Yeah.
44:13
Really, it was I I never I never dreamt that I would be on tour or be a professional drummer or doing whatever.
44:20
So, in between that time, I was I was I had filled in for Blink and then there was a couple weeks off and they were like, "We're going to see what's up with our drummer.
44:28
If we call you, will you play drums with us?"
44:32
I said, "I'd love to, but I guess figure out your situation."
44:34
In those two weeks time, I went and suicide machines were auditioning drummers and I flew to Detroit and I played with them and it was so cool.
44:43
But at the time, I was skateboarding every day and I'm like, "Where do you go skating here?"
44:47
They're like, "It's going to snow for the next two months.
44:51
>> You don't live there." >> I said, "Fuck, man. This is hard."
44:52
You know, >> great city, but you're right.
44:54
You know, you know, you're not skating for nine months of the year. >> Yeah. And then I flew home.
44:58
Uh, and I was kind of up in the air.
45:00
I didn't know what I was going to do and then they asked me to play my first show. >> The rest is history.
45:06
>> You know, I I've spoken to quite a few artists throughout my life who lose a parent early in life.
45:09
It not to try to create a lineage of experience here, but it it's not uncommon for that parent to have been a very early champion in what ultimately goes on to become your life.
45:23
Um, and I can imagine that that playing drums is a way of keeping her memory alive for you as well, knowing that that really was one of the last things she told you to do was honor this gift that you had.
45:34
Um, and and how it sort of enabled you to kind of, you know, live and and grow her memory throughout your your love of music. >> Yeah, 100%.
45:44
Even growing up after she passed away, like my counselors at school would say, "What are you going to do?"
45:51
And I said, "I'm going to play drums."
45:53
And they're like, "That's not on the college.
45:56
[laughter] That's not on the That's not on the plan here."
45:57
And I was like, >> "There is no other plan.
45:59
That's all I'm going to play drums."
46:01
And they would like laugh at me.
46:04
They would just be like, "What are you talking about?
46:06
This is, you know, >> um, >> and my, you know, my pops, we didn't really have money for college.
46:13
We didn't, it was, there was no plan B.
46:18
Plan plan B was making plan A work."
46:18
But your mom seemed to understand that even when she was alive, right? >> Yeah.
46:23
When she was alive, like all she wanted me to do was focus on on playing drums.
46:27
I started I started off by playing pots and pans.
46:30
Um way before I had a drum kit.
46:32
When they figured out that I really liked it, they saved up.
46:36
They bought me a drum kit.
46:36
I played every day for hours a day.
46:41
I learned how to read music.
46:41
I would lock myself in my room for hours a day and learn everything from like Paul's Boutique to like Sick of It All Records.
46:50
Whatever whatever I wanted to, whatever I was listening to, I was learning how to play.
46:53
Whatever everyone that I skateboarded with in my neighborhood was listening to, I learned how to play.
46:57
And yeah, at at the time my mom passed away, she also when I was growing up, I learned how to read like charts for jazz.
47:08
and my mom was basically at my skill level drum-wise when she passed away.
47:13
Um, so it was like something we did together and my dad was also in on it. Like he would drive us.
47:19
It was just I knew it was her dream. So it was also my dream.
47:24
There was no way it wasn't going to happen.
47:26
>> How important has it been that you've been able to share the success you've had with your father and that the relationship has grown into something where he can appreciate and what it is that you've become and what you do in the life you have?
47:36
cuz often these things can drift apart, especially when you're so far away from home.
47:39
But it's almost like you have a better relationship now than you did even when you were a kid. >> Yeah.
47:45
I always say my dad I think he was just worried I was going to end up like just unsuccessful.
47:53
I was going to be a I think he thought, you know, >> from like who I was hanging out with when I was younger.
47:58
And >> you know, there came a time when I was when I graduated from high school and he said, "You have three choices.
48:04
You either join the military like me or you work 60 hours a week and you pay rent or you can move out.
48:13
>> So I I chose moving out so I could go pursue music >> and um and then it's just a beautiful story cuz then I've come back, you know, years later and I got to buy him a house and buy him a car and um take care of my sisters like my family.
48:28
So [snorts] >> that's the dream. >> Totally.
48:34
couldn't have couldn't have played out better, you know. >> Yeah.
48:38
Um I want to talk about what life has in store for you going forward.
48:42
I can imagine making a documentary for all the healing attributes that it has in your life.
48:50
Um it clears space to focus on new things. >> It does.
48:56
>> Um you know, it's great to be able to talk to you and touch on some of the subjects of this doc and hopefully do it in a from a place of love because you know how much I I love you but also love what you've made.
49:04
But, you know, I want to I want to see you in a year or two or 3 years time with someone new to talk about.
49:09
So, so how has it affected your outlook on the rest of your life now that you've been able to come face to face with so many important subjects in the life that's it's been?
49:20
>> Well, it feels so good to finish it because it was something that was lingering without an ending.
49:23
So, the ending is something that I didn't think I could ever accomplish, >> which was flying again.
49:30
That that I never thought was going to happen.
49:32
So, the fact that happened and I got to tell the story of how that happened and uh that there that there is light at the end of the tunnel because there wasn't in the documentary that would have been finished in 2017.
49:47
>> And what was that conversation like with the directors who proposed it to you some years earlier that have made you want to shove the dock and then you come back and you're like, you know what, guys, maybe I can make good on what you suggested in the first place.
49:57
>> I'm sure everyone's wheels were spinning when they're like, he's flying what? You know what I mean?
50:01
It's like, but I wasn't even thinking out about my documentary.
50:04
I It took me so long to get there. >> Yeah.
50:08
>> And I didn't even tell anyone.
50:08
Like, everyone found out afterwards, you know.
50:11
I told my pops um and my children, but everyone else found out after the fact.
50:17
>> And your children were nervous about it. How was your dad?
50:20
>> Oh, my children were so nervous.
50:20
My pops was like like, "Of course, do it."
50:23
You know, like he was supportive.
50:26
He was never, >> you know, pushing me to do it when I didn't want to. No one was really.
50:30
Um, but yeah, I think he was I'm sure a big weight was lifted off his chest, too.
50:38
You know, >> I know you'll take this in the spirit in which it's intended.
50:40
You know, I It's so crazy.
50:43
I I meet so many people just like you.
50:45
I remember I was in the basement of Radio One.
50:47
You came in one time for a conversation.
50:50
Must have been with Blink. It was you on your own.
50:53
And at the end of it, this guy came up to me and had a chat with me and it was Chris.
51:00
And I just he made such an incredible impression on me straight away.
51:02
Like I'll never forget it.
51:05
Like he was talking about what you guys were doing with Famous and having a chat and he was just such a beautiful dude. >> Yeah. Oh, he's amazing. He's >> Yeah.
51:17
Chris stood about like 5 foot tall but was 7 foot in Chris's mind and was just of course he doesn't even know you but he's like, "Yo, this is what we're up to.
51:26
We're doing this, this, and can you do anything? Here's my card. I'm here for you. Whatever. We appreciate you.
51:32
And you hear that all the time, but it was different with him. >> Yeah. He was Yeah.
51:37
He was also an extension of me and uh I was an extension of him.
51:40
It was It was I've never had like, you know, that kind of bond or friendship with anyone. Yeah. >> Um, yeah.
51:48
I just met someone the other day who had like a similar experience and he uh he booked a show that me and Spider played and at the end of the day he was like, "Here."
51:58
And he gave me Chris's card that Chris gave him 30 years ago.
52:01
I was like, "Oh, >> crazy memories." >> Crazy memories. >> Yeah.
52:06
>> Yeah. Um part of the important you know in order to be the dad you want to be and the partner you want to be and the human being you want to be um you know never closure but always growth always searching um what have you learned about
52:21
the grieving process from your point of view in order to get to a place where we can have really beautiful just very gentle memories about Chris and it doesn't I know it must hurt but at the same time you seem to be in a place where you can celebrate the time you had. No, I mean I'm pretty awful about
52:33
No, I mean I'm pretty awful about it, honestly.
52:36
Like 90% of the the interviews I've done, I've been like balling my eyes out.
52:41
It's been it's been kind of difficult.
52:43
I think I had a funeral yesterday, so I think I spent most of my my grief yesterday.
52:46
Um, but it's it's not something that that ever gets easier.
52:53
It's like a for me, I'm like it's just a wound that gets reopened and opened and opened again, you know?
53:02
Um, but this dock helps so much cuz it like tells the story and it is like how you said, it's something that I can like put past me and I kind of get it all out into the world and I it gives me space to to move forward, you know.
53:20
>> Um, my book was like that too.
53:20
And this this is also like that but different.
53:25
Um, and it covers very little pieces of my life.
53:29
It doesn't cover all of it, you know, and it doesn't I I can't provide really big pieces or talk a lot about them because it's a documentary and it would be hours long, but it it it talks about what shaped me and um and how I got to where I am today, you know, and um how like whatever all the things that happened in my documentary, it could have completely destroyed me or made me stronger.
53:57
and I I picked making me stronger.
54:02
>> Oh, it's it's a survivor's tale.
54:02
There's no doubt about that.
54:05
>> Um, so what is life today?
54:05
What what what makes up your life today that that that you love to do that that you spend your time doing?
54:11
What are the how do how do you prioritize and how do you create a framework that gives you joy today?
54:16
>> I'm very fortunate to where it's always changing, you know, and that's how I like life.
54:19
I can't I don't like to think too far ahead.
54:21
Like I finished an alkaline trio album a week ago.
54:24
I started a yellow card album.
54:26
I played with Game of Versus and I have seven beautiful children. You know what I mean?
54:34
So, every day is something else.
54:37
I'm about to play this Ramon's 50th anniversary tribute with CJ, Billy Joe Armstrong, and and Tim Armstrong.
54:42
So, I I love that that there's new things constantly being thrown at me and I get to do what I'm passionate about and what I love.
54:51
Um, I have amazing children.
54:51
I love watching Landon's career.
54:54
I love watching Alabama's career.
54:56
Aiana's I have a 2 and a halfyear-old son that's just >> incredible.
55:02
He's like the coolest human. I have a beautiful wife.
55:05
I have, you know, my dad's still here.
55:07
So much to be happy about, you know. >> Yeah.
55:10
So much to be grateful for.
55:10
And as your kids start to develop their identity and figure out what they want to do, you know, and that's one of the great joys of life is seeing them find their path and ultimately begin their journey.
55:20
>> Um, you know, you want to be able to impart upon them some of the life lessons you have, but you can't go granular.
55:24
to your point, because it's not their trauma, it's not their experience.
55:27
You've got to keep the road open enough for them to experience it.
55:31
How has that been for you given that undoubtedly they're landing in areas that aren't too far away, if not closer to where you are? It's just how it is. [sighs] >> Yeah.
55:40
You know, how our parents will we figured out like we can't parent like our parents parented us, right? >> We break the cycle. >> Yeah.
55:47
You can't you just can't do that. And uh >> Yeah.
55:51
Even though like I've shown my kids everything and I've they've been on tour with me, whatever, they're still going to, right?
55:57
They're still going to choose their way of doing things even if it's close or sits close to where I am.
56:00
Um, [snorts] I I think like for me also I'm a drummer, you know, it's so rare like I a drummer is I feel so grateful to have the career and the life I've had, you know, and I think it was probably 30% talent, 70% hard work, you know, like I work my ass off.
56:22
So I see like my son is is having a moment right now and I'm like work like work like get on their neck, you know what I mean? Like go.
56:32
But he's like he's very relaxed, you know?
56:35
But that's like that's like his thing and I'm like oh I'm going to let you do it. My style is different.
56:38
You know, like I like >> you know they'll come home and they'll they'll say, "Dad, why are you practicing?"
56:44
And I'm like >> because I practiced, you know, they're like, "Oh, do you have a show tomorrow?"
56:49
I'm like, "No show tomorrow." Just Yeah.
56:50
That's just so you know different strokes for different folks.
56:53
I I do I you know that's just that's all I've known and um also it was like really what made me confident you know as a kid like when my mom died when I was 13 I was confident cuz I played drums every day.
57:07
Um and I had something I felt like I was good at.
57:10
So that was like really important to me.
57:12
So I I've tried to best prepare my kids the same way.
57:16
what whatever it is, you know, if it's like music or whatever, that's that's literally what saved me.
57:23
So >> So you you are very happy with the tenets of life, the way they're laid out, including the touring and the travel, like the back and forth and the wrestling with that and the idea of being away.
57:36
Um, you know, now that this is a part of who you are, this idea of of traveling and touring the world and doing shows. >> Yeah.
57:45
And now when I board a plane, I'm just like I just have faith in God and whatever happens happens where I could I could never be that secure with things before, you know?
57:57
Um but yeah, I still have my moments.
58:00
I I got home from a trip the other day and court was like, "So we're going to Idaho and this is the day."
58:06
And I'm like, "Babe, don't talk don't talk to me about a plane or anything.
58:09
Please, please, please, please, please.
58:10
I just can't like sometimes it's it's really hard for me.
58:14
I I do pretty good like traveling for work, >> but even for work, if it's the tour manager and they're breaking down all the flights, I'm like it could it could make me anxious cuz I'm like, "Okay, there's 30 flights this summer tour.
58:28
How many are going to be like frightening or suck?" You know what I mean?
58:34
Like I'm like just praying for good flights.
58:35
I don't I still don't want to like think too much about it.
58:38
I'm very It took me so long to be present and live in the moment.
58:43
>> I just keep trying to practice that but not drive people crazy because they do have like tours they've got to plan and my wife wants to plan vacations or you know whatever else.
58:54
>> I pretty much trust the people around me to plan whatever and I try to be present. >> How do you do that?
58:59
How do you how do you what's your practice of staying present aside from practicing the drums and being behind the kicks?
59:04
>> I can't really put a finger on it.
59:04
It's just something that I've trained myself to do.
59:08
I'm not like stressing about tomorrow.
59:10
I'm not stressing about yesterday.
59:11
I'm very much in the moment just here with you right now and whatever is going to happen in like the next hour.
59:16
Uh but yeah, it's just also just positive mental attitude.
59:21
I'm not stressing about anything.
59:24
Ever since my my accident, that's like one of the best things my post-traumatic [gasps and sighs] uh therapist, you know, I think got through to me was like, dude, like no, life shouldn't be stressful.
59:36
life shouldn't be stressful. you've been through enough like you need to go like just take you know just coast be you know but then there's times where whatever I'll go run half marathons or I'll >> box or do whatever like yeah but I'm bringing that on I'm I'm running towards
59:53
that stuff and I'm I'm like creating this torture or whatever it is because I love it and I fe off it but I don't want I don't I don't want you know to torture myself with thinking about flights or stressing about things I don't want to stress about it's not not my energy, >> man. That guy I met back in the 90s, uh,
1:00:10
That guy I met back in the 90s, uh, who was just playing the back while these other two were just clowning out front and dominating every conversation, every stage they possibly could.
1:00:18
Um, I knew I would see and watch and hear you play drums for the rest of your my life, as long as we're on this planet.
1:00:24
I had no idea the kind of life that you were going to go on to lead and live and the level of success and attention and fame and everything that's come with it.
1:00:32
what a amazing life you've lived even through the toughest and darkest times.
1:00:38
Um, I love this documentary.
1:00:38
I cried during this documentary.
1:00:42
My wife cried watching this documentary.
1:00:44
It's achieved its goal and uh I can't wait to talk to you again about whatever you're going to do next, not what you've already done. >> Thank you so much.