kind of would like to start a service where like retired basketball players can hold you like a baby I asked I said would you hold me like a baby and like then burp me and he was like girl you crazy you so damn silly we got a special guest in the building ammy award-winning actress and comedian became the first black female comic the host SNL please welcome Tiffany hadish I was like where are you
when cannot see you I need to see you I miss you hey everyone I've got some huge news to share with you in the last 90 days 79.4% of our audience came from viewers and listeners that are not subscribed to this channel there's research that shows that if you want to create a habit make it easy to access by hitting the Subscribe button you're creating a habit of learning how to be happier healthier
and more healed this would also mean the absolute world to me and help us make better better bigger brighter content for you in the world subscribe right now the number one Health and Wellness podcast Jett J shett the one the only Jett Tiffany what is the best part about being Tiffany hadish the best part about being Tiffany was the best part about being me girl I don't know I I have so
much fun I have a lot of fun I can tell I carry a lot but I'm built for it and I have a lot of fun doing it sometimes I complain about it sometimes I whine but I'm built for it and I enjoy it when did you realize you were built for it probably when I was like 21 22 cuz uh yeah 22 I say 22 because at 21 I was like I don't want to be here on this planet no more this sucks like
feels like everybody's taking their pain out on me like but what I realized is like oh I'm I love to hear people laughing maybe they're bringing me their pain and taking that cuz I'm supposed to transmute into laughter I'm supposed to take that and flip it for them and once I learn how to do that and perfect it then the easier it'll be for me and it is easier in relationships for me now
but um when it comes to other things it's a lot more difficult like cleaning my room I'm a I am a hoarder I think I'm emotional hoarder and it shows up it manifest in my bedroom what kind of things do you ho clothes okay knickknacks gadgets I love gadet gadgets I don't know why I bring the gadget to the bed like it's going to do something magical in the bed and it's not even for
the bed it's probably for the kitchen but I'm like let me see how this gadget work and I like exper I I'm big on experimenting and I do a lot of it in my bedroom cuz that's my layer and I don't let like people in my room so like I got a microscope in there it's like half laboratory half office half closet half what is all this over here W so if I walk into the I'm not allowed but if I
was to walk into your bedroom would I fall over and trip over and hurt myself over a basket of clothes and then you'll be like what is that in the corner you are you building something like is what kind of electronics is that and then like why is there clothes all over here and then what's that on the bed and are are you making jewelry or you sorting a jewelry like what is going on wow yeah
it's a lot going on W you need to show me a picture later I'm not g to show you no picture it's embarrassing it's EMB when I look at it I'm like geez Tiffany your brain is everywhere wow that's what it feels like yeah I cuz I imagine that like your your bedroom is a reflection of your mind mhm cuz it's where I do spend most of my time in the house and like all the rest of the house is pretty
clean it might be some little boxes in the corner here Bo like mail on the table but I go through that sort that out real quick but the my room I don't know it's like uh I'll get to that when I feel like it I'mma play with this right now let me see how these sea monkeys are doing in the corner over here let me see what this is doing like I you have pets in your room too I mean
no it's some sea monkeys are those pets I don't know I don't know I don't think those are pets experiment there's a there a there's a shrimp but I mean my cat might come in there occasionally and uh if I get really like lonely or whatever I'll bring the dog in you know and then the dog is like burrowing herself in my dirty clothes and I get her out of there cuz she likes to chew the crotch in my
underwears my dirty underwears I don't like it and you like that chaos like you you you like waking up to that sleeping in that that that kind of it feels cozy okay I don't have a man I don't have nobody else's mind assort but my own so yes when men do spend the night I uh only let them sleep in the guest room got it so uh cuz they're guests in my house until you pay bills you can't come
up in the in the main room and when they start paying my bills then I guess that's when I'll clean up my room and make space for them I'm a classic Virgo so everything for me has to be organiz organized like tidy everything has to be in its place like I think I can I walk into a room and I can spot the one thing that's like half a centimeter off and I need to
would be the kind of guy I would like to date so that he can like clean up after me got it and then I'll make him laugh and stuff and bring him joy and have a venture for him I have some Adventures for you not too much drama I'm not big on a drama but I am big on adventure experiences and then I'm but I'm messy yeah that's cool you're allowed to be messy but I'm not dirty but it's like I
get it I get yeah and I I mean I I saw that you said you've been celibate for the past six months is that who said that is that true uh okay okay okay so is that true I mean does kissing count no as that's still sell I'm just not yeah okay I'm not being penetrated that's for sure no penetration is that an intentional Choice was that something you were trying to work up to and
practice or is it been six months though I guess so I you're the only person who can tell us October does make it six months yeah yeah um yeah because I don't just I just don't want to lay down with nobody just anybody you know I just feel like dang I am the prize and these dudes gotta qualify like it and when I think about like my track record of like who I lay down with it it takes like a year or
so for for me to even warm up it's it's a line it's a line of dudes that's you know hey D hey I mean I love going to free dinners I go on free dinner dates you know I mean not free dinner dates but like yeah it's free for me so yeah but it do cost me money to get you know cute and stuff and the gas in the car or whatever but yeah yeah know I also because when I lived as a monk I was
celebrate for three years so it was like a it was a big big big commitment in my life did it make you feel like a in the beginning yes for sure for sure it was hard but then I bet it was hard yeah as time went on oh Tiffany Only You Only You it feels easy I don't know I've been working out a lot so I feel like I get my sexual like frustrations out in the workout and then like I said gadgets did it take you
a while to raise your standards like where did this qualification this language this vocabulary you have right now around dating was that something that has come with time is that something that was always there that no it was definitely not always there definitely if you read the book you know that it was not always there um I just feel like it's like it's certain things
that I want for myself and I want to um share the success and what I've learned is when you're like uh laying down with people that's not really as ambitious as you are or comfortable in their skin or confident with who they are or even just not even necessarily confident just know who they are um it becomes a problem and and I think when you lay down with somebody you are sharing your soul you
are sharing a piece of yourself you're giving a little piece of yourself up and I don't I think like I only got so much Soul left and I don't want to necessarily just give it over to anybody you know I don't think I don't know if the soul grows I don't know if you can rejuvenate New Soul like you do skin or hair but it just feels like I don't want to subject myself to it also now once I
let you inside my body I got to know you got to get to know got to learn you and all this stuff like and um I had so scientifically okay now we gon to get into the science of it some research on yeah yeah so I had did my scientific research I was reading about how you know once you let somebody um ejaculating sperm right once it the uterus is very absorbent so you absorb
all of that into your bloodstream right so now you like attracted to them so like when the Bible says uh you will only desire your husband this is part why because now he's like in your blood like in like bonding with your DNA and if you get pregnant by this person it takes like six months or so for them to get out of your DNA and if you decide to have a baby or get pregnant by this
person those stem cells from that baby is in you forever so they are forever a part of you do I forever want to be a part of somebody who's like mentally ill do I forever want this person to be like in my eyeballs in my brain in my like in my heart the stem cells from them and what we like you know could have potentially made do I forever want that and then I think about like like hoes
and why they be so crazy and it's because it's too many personal too much in it that's how I see it anyway that's my scient that's science when is the Tiffany edish sex ed masterclass coming well there's a there's a short sex ed portion in the book um you know I think I would have been a great sex education teacher that's what I'm thinking listening to you right now yeah I think
I would have been really good at that I think we need to get a national program yeah cuz I noticed like females that I know that like are really emotional like going like always the world is like a in an uproar and then if you find out like how many body what's their body count and like and especially if it's a high body count is a lot of them probably didn't have no condom on and then you
probably you probably absorbed a lot of that stuff and who's to say they didn't they might have been pregnant didn't realize they were pregnant and just thought oh this is a hard period but really they might have been having a miscarriage or it was just a pregnancy that didn't stick whatever like it's a lot it's a lot a lot it sounds like this has obviously been something that I know
we're laughing but at the same time we're learning like this has been something you've been learning about thinking about reflecting on especially when you dive into your book as we were talking about earlier you make everything sound really funny and there's this expression of the feeling but then there's the Deep pain and the stress that comes from it were there
particular romantic experiences that were hard for you to get over was a lot of our audience is struggling with breakups is struggling with missing their exes struggling with trying to move on and find the right person person what what have you been through that you could share with those people that may help uh yeah okay so I'm going to be real clear with you I the people that I
was missing I probably shouldn't have been missing right like the ones that like inflicted a lot of physical pain on me the ones that inflicted emotional pain on me I think I talked about one of them in this book I I know I talked about the the ex in the other book but this book um like okay so I had this like you know homie Ling friend for a long time a long long long long time
he's very disrespectful to me very kind of messed up to me but in my mind we was we could get married we had the most beautiful babies he handsome I'm pretty like it would be so cool he's smart and intellectual I'm kind of smart I think like it would be fun we have the best conversations like we have fun but then he would treat me like crap right so like and I would I would subject myself
to that man and I would be like happy to be in this presence but at the same time when he's not I'll be hurting so bad hurting so bad like in feing form like a like kind of like I don't know what it's like to do like hard drugs but I'm imagining that's the hard drug right there the D that D like when you really like like that could be the hard drug and breaking myself from that that would
be like okay what else do you love what else do you care about put your energy into something else I've seen her like all online like oh Tiffany's feing for or she's still pining over this guy that she was dating like that was fun that relationship was fun only thing I miss about that relationship is the fun everything else was like yeah cool but we had a lot of fun um and people I have
fun with I miss all of them when I don't get to see them often when I don't talk to them I miss all of them even if they were a bad influence I I miss them all but I'm not like oh God I got to have them more talking mess about them like no I genuinely love that person wish them the best I'm busy doing now they're busy doing that now cool but was there a particular like yeah that one that homie
lover friend who was like on and off for like almost 20 years oh wow 20 years yes I can be loyal I can be loyal with the homie Ling friends you know it's like oh we not we we on but we not in a relationship but in my mind I painted this yeah we was married we was I was cooking for him and doing all kind of stuff like you know make sure his telephone stayed on so could talk to him
stupid stuff stupid just dumb just dumb then like oh I realized okay this isn't going to go nowhere so I'mma go with this guy that likes me and then that don't like pan out cuz really I'm still feing over this dude then okay that didn't work out then I'mma get married somebody want to marry me I'm getting married you don't want to marry mebody else gonna marry me and then that didn't
really P because I I didn't want to get small like yeah I didn't want to be small and then sh then it was just like free for all you know what you working with what's up baby you got as long as you got a good credit score what's your credit score because that means you're gonna be responsible with my heart at least I think you are I hope you are and then uh but now I got a whole criteria
what did you find that people had a good good credit score did that have any correlation with I feel like it it it had a lot to do with how they treat me good credit score they're like more responsible they show up on to I know yeah I saw that like I I would ask like hey do you know your credit score first of all I think that's something you should know cuz that's your grownup
report card I just want to see how responsible they were and most of them were very like I I have yet to meet somebody with a pretty high credit score that wasn't like reliable you didn't find that you met people who were arrogant or show no no they might have been arrogant they might have been like showbo but they were responsible I want somebody to be responsible with my heart
like it's a I got a big heart right got a lot of love to give and I I'm very forgiving and all that but like don't abuse it it's been abused enough and I don't want to have to like attack you I don't want to have to like be vicious with you that's what like I would say the last like five relationships I've had like I really respect those dudes because they were they were kind with my
heart you know they they for the best for what they could you know they were good good with my heart they didn't like it up where I'm just like men I'm bring on the I'm gay now I think I'm still like two or three heartbreaks away from that right I don't even think that's a thing though for me I really think I'm a gay man but that's that's neither here nor there and what are your
criteria now you said I that's a lot of information I me I think I was a man in my past like you you believe in past lives yeah we were talking I think we were messaging about this yeah I think I was a man in my past life and I think I was a man that was kind of messed up I think I was like maybe I had a really big pen and I was a womanizer maybe I was bisexual maybe I hurt a lot of
hearts and I feel like in this life God said okay I'mma you know you g to suffer some but you're going to win too yeah and I think that's why I got endometriosis so I can really understand the pain of a woman and understand the value of the heart my wife jokes with me that she thinks we were married in our past life but she was the guy and I was the girl that's like the tradeoff cuz
I'm the Romantic one I'm the one writing her notes and messages and I want to do the grand gestures and stuff and I'm the one interior designing our home and doing all of that stuff and she does not care now she's like let's get money and go on a trip let's have some fun let's go do an adventure yeah I like Adventure I like Adventure but you were saying you have criteria now what are the CR what
are the criteria to date defy Tiffany um okay so now that I'm older I can't have that criteria of like oh he can't have no kids because we're older now so I expect like if he has kids cool but they need to be like grown 18 are over uh cuz I don't want to deal like with baby mama drama and I feel like you know I want to I I like communicating like an adult also he needs to have his own career or
some sort of business you know what I'm saying he needs to have like a EIN number I think that's really important he knows how to needs to know how to run something because you know men I think men like to uh have control and power over women and run a run women and want to be the leader well can you how's your business does your business run well are do you have do you have long-term
employees do you like is that doing well like cuz cuz now I'm if I'm going to give you access to me I need to know that you know how to do that good credit score now I will forgive if maybe your credit score fell off for a minute because you had to go to the doctor or something happen you know whatever okay I might could forgive that but then also I want you to be physically healthy and
fit so you better be on top of your health like because I'm trying my best with mine and I don't want to be changing nobody's diapers that's grown if you have pubic hairs I don't think I should be changing your diaper yeah I find I find that to be the biggest one like I find so many people don't grow up till so much later in life and I find so many of my friends are either with guys
or girls or whoever it may be that feel a young like they feel like they are the person's parent and they're their partner's parent and they I don't want that they're cooking for them cleaning for them taking care of all of this stuff it's it's it's bizarre to me that we're still living in that time yeah I don't want to feel like I'm your parent I don't want to feel like I'm your
doctor but if you got like a cold or something or you feeling like you got a little back pain I love to rub your back and I and I come up with Elixir and stuff to make you feel better or whatever yeah but you need to come already showing up pretty healthy like think of this like the military these Elixir oh these Elixir you know we got Ginger we got turmeric you know we got the little vitamins nutrients you know
uh aloe vera things for my garden um you grow some of this stuff I grow this stuff yeah I grow food like also I needed God is not afraid to get a little dirty you know help me in the garden like don't be afraid of bees and stuff cuz I got bees and I harvest honey wait do you have the full hazmat suit I got the whole suit but I barely I barely I don't know why you call it hazmat suit
what's it called what is it beekeeper suit The Beekeeper suit The Beekeeper suit uh keep you from being stun but I also some most of the time I sit out there with no suit on I just sit and talk to them listen to them like sing to the bees how many bees will you have on you at one time I don't know I'll be sitting there counting like oh look I got a 100y bees like they don't they
don't sit on me like they go they be around me I be singing telling them stories telling jokes maybe complaining um I'm pretty sure my neighbors hear me um so maybe the neighbors feel like I'm like crazy talking to myself or talking on the phone or whatever I don't know I sing songs to them all the time uh my favorite song is that I know the bees are probably like why is she singing
this song to us but I like butterfly come in here you stand up my hand I will not harm you or never need Al alarm you I want to see your pretty wings tiny dainty colorful things orange and yellow pretty fellow and I change the colors every time wow I sing that and then I sing skin marinky dinky dink to the songs that make me happy wow I sing to them mostly when I'm stressed out I go
sit out with the bees so you when you're stressed out you sing sing to the bees sit Outdoors yeah sit Outdoors laying the grass next to them sometimes just listen to them and imagine they telling me stories and I'm just really listening to The Hive buzz and it's they say that there's a the C tone or there's a tone in a beehive that helps get rid of PTSD oh I didn't know that wow yeah yeah
that's that's what they say when I was doing my research on bees that was something like that the noise of a hive helps with PTSD uh so I like that noise wow that's fascinating and that that you learned while you were getting the bees or afterwards or before once I got the bees yeah once I got the bees I learned that you know I was like oh I'm in a relationship now with thousands let's
let's figure this out how's que um there's a queen bee I'm the I'm I'm the master queen I'm the friend of the bees I feed them I give them like you know spirulina with some some sugar water or some like chlorophyll with sugar water and stuff like that you like really in touch with nature like nature seems to be I love nature that's where I can like you can go sit in the tree like in the
trees but I do be in the trees sometime you can go sit near the trees in the trees and you could cry in the trees are not goingon to be like what's wrong with you you know if anything that like blow the leaves and like rub your shoulder or something you know yeah wow that's my in my mind that's what I imagine yeah I have a very vivid imagination so and has that always been like that since you
were young always been like that always did you have an imaginary friend growing up yes I did I had two what were their names carolita and uh cracker cracker was a bird and I used to be like Cracker w a poly and I would break crackers up on my shoulders and stuff it was really the imaginary friends was to make real friends I mean they were A coping mechanism for kids as
well for sure coping mechanism I felt in my mind they listen to everything I said I know exactly what they look like in my mind I used really rock them hard in junior high and uh used to be like crack what's answer number seven they be like Tiffany is being racist I'm like no I'm not I'm talking to my bird and carita the carita yeah she's like a Puerto Rican Mommy okay yeah yeah
and she was what was her role her role was like to keep people away from me yeah so I'll be like oh you can't sit here carita sitting there you can't sit right there just her seat yeah you know carita said that you cute yeah she want to know if you want to uh share your coffee cake with her yeah yeah so she was that in between that go between and Mak comes close who stay yeah and people
would laugh they' be like girl you silly as hell it's fascinating isn't it I feel like that whole idea of imaginary friends it's like if you thought about that when you were young you'd laugh at it but now when you look back you're like oh wait there was a role that that person played that I didn't have someone else play in my life so I created someone yeah I would be like my sister
would be trying to play with me I be like you can't play carolita says she doing this one you can't do that one carita really I just didn't want my sister to be doing it but I didn't want to tell her I don't want you to do it so I say caral didn't want her yeah wow but it was really me wow I really didn't want her do so you told us the best things about being Tiffany hadish
Tiffany what are the worst things about being Tiffany hadish the worst thing about being Tiffany hadish is uh Tiffany is always under attack and got to just let that happen I guess I guess that's just a part of being famous but also I just feel like that's been my whole life is always somebody's been hating somebody's talking mess somebody but uh at least back in the 1900s people did it
to your face or if they talk behind your back and somebody told you they was talking behind your back then you went up to approach them and say you say this about me they would either say yes or no like there would be like you know account you can hold someone accountable for what they were saying uh even if there was a reporter you know you could call up to the the newspaper and say I
want to talk to this reporter why you say this about me and then they'll tell you why they said what they said right but um now it's like everybody say whatever they want and they think they can't be touched but that's why I'm investing in technology that you are yeah allow me to be able to call them okay why you feel like this you what did I do to you did I sleep with your man
and I don't know it what what's the what's the issue with you why you why you putting out such mean words I mean I think it's so crazy right now with social media because I mean suicide with teenagers right now is at a all with children alltime High higher than it's ever been in the history of because they can read and they're seeing what people say like I work with a lot of foster
Youth and my kids they be telling me they want they don't want me to be famous no more because they don't like what people saying about me and it makes them cry it hurts them so while it and I'm like don't worry it doesn't bother me I'm used to it that's normal it's normal if I was if I didn't have people talking mess about me then I wouldn't be doing good I mean do you believe in
Jesus if you believe in Jesus everybody was talking mess about him too and then look you know and look what happened you know they're like I don't want you to be assassinated like Jesus I don't want you to die like I'm not going to die okay I will die but I'm not going to die that way I'm pretty sure I hope I die during sex but I'm not GNA die in that way I don't think but you know and I don't
know but like we can't Fester on that and don't just block that person just take those negative words off your thing like block those words but I would love to be able to just call these people because what I what I found um is the people that be hating usually they really love me they really they study me super hard they spend hours and hours making videos and like just saying mean
stuff and talking about but you spend hours of your life studying me there's some love there there's some you got to really care about me to a certain so I'm honored but it sucks because you're not brave enough to say it to my face that I'll run into them at party they be like oh can I get a picture and I'm like why why do you want a picture with me you you did a horribly mean video about me
oh you saw that you saw yeah I saw you put my name in the title you don't think the algorithm is going to shoot me things that got my name in it when Google first came out bling all of them when they first came out what's the first thing you looked up I looked up my name and so the algorithm knows I care about me so it's going to send me the stuff about me so you was seeing I see
you and I'mma tell you to your face cuz I'm not fake I'm an actual human and I wish it was the 1900s where you could slap somebody for talking but now you can't even slap nobody no more they want to sue you or whatever like punks so that's that's the that's the that's the worst part that's the hard part yeah cuz I really want to fight but I can't I can't though it's not a battle
worth fighting right yeah but on my period I will um use my my fake little page and I will chime in in a little bit oh is it take it back to the 19 a fer yeah Fina that's what they call it right fake a fake insta yeah fake in but it's not an insta it's a it's a Twitter oh it's a Twitter okay so it's X yeah yeah yeah Sarah be going in okay yeah how does that help it feels good it feels
good it's like a little release and this is Sarah kind of like calita who's like protecting Tiffany or no Sarah's my middle name it's me [Music] it's me but I would love to develop like a AI boyfriend that like protects me and like make him look really good and stuff and he has the you know Instagram account and just like program him to protect me and to like shut down people
and like yeah but I found out I hired a forensic uh Tech guy and I found out like 75% of the hate I get is Bots it's not even real people and the other 25% is people responding to the Bots or making making videos because of what they read from the oh my God not even real a lot of these articles be AI articles not even real articles no way yeah it's my name but that's how powerful my name is like
that's what at least that's what they make me think like my name is so dope like they want those clicks they want that you know like I did this to like I got all these clicks now all these followers because I talk about Tiffany like it's kind of dope it's kind of dope it's kind of dope but key like hot words will bring in the Bots yeah yeah yeah wow you're I'm learning a lot from you
today sex headed it's like yeah I'm I'm multifaceted a little it's great it's amazing I I love how curious your mind is like I've I've already learned about bees like it's fascinating it's fascinating I I want to go backwards Tiffany because I feel like one of the things you do in this book is you really led us into some of the the trauma the challenges the the difficult experiences
and as I said to you before what I find amazing about the way you communicate is that we feel what you've felt even if we've not been there and I think the way you're writing this book is really powerful like you said earlier you said I think I'm smart you're smart because the way you express yourself lands and resonates even if you just read one or two lines that just grab hold of you and
at the same time you're making everyone laugh through the book too but I want to kind of go backwards because you did have a really you've had you had many different challenging traumatic relationships in your life I want to start with your mother because she went through something horrific herself which when I when I read about that I was I can't even believe what she's had to go
through and then how it impacted on you I was going to ask you has that relationship ever had an opportunity to heal or improve like getting better possible better and better every day better and better every day cuz I have a better understanding you know um I used to be really mad at her and really like upset with her like just take your meds just just heal already just be back to
my mommy my like my everything you know I always think about this time when um like I love that woman I like really really really love that woman like like immensely like that's my first love this woman fed me clothed me taught me I love this woman and it's like she came back from that accident somebody else not not the woman that I love but that's her that's her Meats suit that's her body
but that's not my mommy and I get glimpses of her and as time has gone by and you know I've I've used my money to like get her the best of the best and get her healthy and get her on track and um and get get my sister the education my sister's helping me like we help each other we we are working as a team right and U to see like the progress is like it's such a it's like okay what say money's a rot
of all evil but if you know how to use it right it's a tool and if you know how to use it right you can help like heal and get like glimpses of what was and um I remember when I was a little girl I wanted to like just make her happy that's all I want to do make her happy and she would work these graveyard uh hours at the post office and I was like three and and I wanted to make her eggs
cuz she would come in and make me eggs right and I used to always try to cook for her always I pull all the pots and pans and everything out like I'm I'm gonna cook for my mommy and I'm G play music too like like waste all this food I put oh me a wishes your sauce large season sauce all this stuff and like she be like no no stop messing around my stuff and I get a spanking this one
particular day though I was determined to make her some eggs so I did everything I saw her do the day before so I got uh I got the eggs out the refrigerator I did all the eggs all the eggs I didn't take the shelves off of them put all the eggs in this tupperware bowl I stirred it all up I put pepper I put garlic salt I put Larry seasoning salt stirred them all up stirred them
all up stir them all up and then I turned on the fire on the stove and I just put the Tupperware container on top of the fire and I was turning I was like why is it not doing what it's supposed to do and then it's like plastic it's like smoking and it's burning and my mom comes in there and she had just got off work right so she's in the bathroom whatever my mom comes what are you doing
oh my goodness she gives me a whooping she turn you know turns off the fire cleanser gives me a spank and says you not supposed to do this you don't touch the stove you don't this and I was just like I try to make you breakfast make you breakfast and she stopped and this is what I loved about my mommy this she's the best mommy she was the best what I loved about her she stopped right
and she was like I'mma teach you if you going to keep doing this I got to teach you how to do this so we cleaned the stove and everything together she got some when got some more eggs cuz I had did all the eggs I had did all the eggs she got more eggs and stuff we went to the grocery store she said this how you buy the eggs this how you this this how you that we get home she's like okay
I'mma show you how to make this and she got another Tupperware ball she said this is just for mixing okay and you use this and you do a dash like that and do the dash and I do the dash and she did you this then the dash I did the dash and did in a dash right and she's like stirring it up she showing me how to Stir It Up I Stir It Up and she said okay now you see this Skillet there's a
cast iron skillet you put the eggs in here always in the cast iron and then you have to have butter Tiffany so the eggs can slide and then she should give me the butter and then she let me scoop the butter and put the butter in there and she said now you turn the fire on but you don't turn it on super high you turn it on medium because you don't want your eggs to burn okay I'm like okay
it's I turn it on medium and then she's like very good very good and I pour the eggs in there and I pour it and she said pour it in slow you don't got to pour it fast oh oh slow slow and she said now take your thing your spoon and spin Stir It stir it this is scramble eggs you making scramble I like scramble scramble I was so happy I so happy now I had got my I got my ass L I almost burned down
the house and now she's teaching me how to do it and we did it and we ate the eggs together and I I just remember I was like like in love with this woman for teaching me this and then she's like now you have to clean up when you cook you got to clean so then it was then we cleaned the dishes together and then after that I was her dishwasher I always wash the dishes whenever she cooked I
was in there trying to cook with her I mean I was cutting up vegetables and stuff at three and four years old like I was the Sue Chef I was always like I wanted to be her best friend help her everything like and she taught me a lot like every like I have grocery shopping all that my sisters was born I'm changing diapers I'm making bottles I'm her best helper I'm her everything like
that was I loved her I still love her but I miss that Mommy I miss that Mommy and I'm her helper now um but she like to fight me so we gota be careful because I can't be shown up to work with a black eye cuz she different now I miss that mommy though iord of my imag how hard it is to know someone that intimately that closely and then they're not that person because of a horrific accident that she
had so it was totally out of her control and now not only do you have to get to know this new person you miss this person that you just so beautifully described when did you start even letting yourself process that grief because I can imagine it's just shock processing that grief I mean I don't know I think I think when my grandma passed who's my first best friend um who
I still miss terribly I think that's when uh I think that's when I start really like okay like the last since she's been gone it's been two years I think it's been the hardest two years in my whole existence cuz that was my shield that was my like protector I could tell her all my dreams like if she would be like when if you want to do that you better figure
this out you better figure like she was like a good sounding boy for me and it's my first best friend and I don't even some days I don't even know how I get out the bed cuz I miss her so much but then also I don't want to let her down and she put she installs so much like um no don't give up don't be a quitter like we know we not quitters over here so you can't quit so figure it out even if you
got to half ass do it half ass do it get it done figure it out and so that's what I do but I also had to like learn to like I I've been learning how to grieve I've been learning how to sit in and and like some people tell me I shouldn't make jokes out of everything but that's how I process yeah and I think you use the same the same muscles the muscles that you use to cry same muscles you
used to laugh it hurts so much when you cry I mean sometimes I cry so hard I throw up and it is like even though I could use the apps but it's like I don't want I don't want that I rather have the ABS from laughing so hard I rather like so I'll get to a point where I'm like oh miss my grandma and I'll try to remember something I'll click on something that's like in my brain like I'm clicking on
like opening files up like in the library remember those index where you have I'm like okay uh oh when we made a sweet potato pie when we went to the fair together and left everybody behind oh when we did like try to like click to the the good memories to the to the fun stuff even though there was a lot of hard stuff but like I mean I still got her wigs I'll be putting on her wigs sometimes and like
I'm getting afraid cuz they starting to lose her scent but you know I still it's in the back of my memory is in there sitting there but like yeah and I've been grieving my mom I guess I've been grieving her my whole life my oh like teens and 20s and 30s and all that but not not really focused on it so much as grieving because the the flesh is still here and I know she
in there somewhere and I could get little sometimes little like a little fix she in there somewhere that's when you wish I had I wish I had magical powers I could just mommy's back oh my God that would be crazy though because she was super thirsty for knowledge too she calls me sometimes we got her a cell phone and she been using it but she keep on trying to buy stuff so uh we had to be careful
like what don't put no credit card on it don't assign it to know nothing because she would want to buy stuff and she called me and said um I need to go to college I'm trying to go to college I need to go get certified in culinary arts I to go get certified in dog grooming I need to get certified in My Demo Deluxe program I'm like demo Deluxe she's like yes samples food samples in
marketing in grocery stores I was like well I'm building a grocery store so then you could just you know do Demos in the grocery store you don't got to get certified I got you she like no no but I need to go to college I need to I need to go to school okay I have to go to school and I'm like okay Mama well like and that makes me excited that she wants to learn that she wants to go to school
but then I'm like concern do I let her go to school do I send her to this Community College where she potentially might have an episode and fight somebody or she might disturb the class start talking or she starts seeing things and starts screaming at them or you know like do ey loudest and like well if we give her too much medication and she like falls asleep in the class and she
starts snoring super loud and they put her out and then we can't find her and do I hire a nurse to go to school with her do I like okay you trying to go to school then you got to go to school with my mama and y'all take the same classes like do I pay for somebody else at school to go to school with my mom and protect my mom and make sure she don't eat too much candy and make sure she
don't eat no junk food and stuff like because that that when she eats junk food or processed foods that sends her over the edge and now she's like in another dimension and am I blocking my mama from these Dimensions because maybe her being in those other dimensions is really good material and I need to be sitting with her when she talking to these people that I don't see and maybe
that's like something I could use for a movie or something I don't know and maybe God gave her this this like brain injury to see over there and maybe she really protected me and I don't even know it I'm blocking my protection because I feel like my grandma was my shield and my protection but now that's gone and I don't have the protector no more so I gotta figure out who's protecting me it's right now it's just
me my prayers and I think my sister my sister is definitely we we work well together so and your faith oh my faith is definitely protected yeah that's why say my prayers yeah yeah like yeah I mean God is that that's my dad I lost my actual biological physical father but I feel like God's been my dad all this time I've always believed in God always had a relationship been very
mad at him a lot but you know it is what it is yeah I still love him very much yeah I mean as I'm as I'm listening to you it's it's so challenging to think that you have someone in front of you where you know that the person you love is inside of them and like you said you get the glimpses but then at the same time like you said it can get abusive it can be violent it can because of the
brain injury and then when you look at your relationship with your father and you go to in-depth in the book and I want people to read the book but I believe your father left when you like three or four yeah and you always had this fixation of wanting to reconnect with him and you talk about in the book how like any back of the head you see that look like your father it's like
you're like you're like dad daddy dad is that my dad are you my dad like you know that book are you my mother like are you my daddy are you my daddy like so wanting a dad I needed I needed that like I think if I would have had him I probably I might not be who I am today for sure I wouldn't be who I am today and that would be a very just uh a tragedy but maybe I wouldn't have slept
with so many dudes maybe I wouldn't have been so like thirsty for attention or maybe I would have learned how to live with the men and been a better wife and been be a better girlfriend and understand men better like but I think like everything happens the way it's supposed to even though like I wish there was some male that was there that I felt safe with that could show me on a
regular basis how to be around men and not like how I learned how to be around men which was like I was a tomboy and I was like oh yeah I can do that too like stupid told you were figuring it out you were figuring out I was figuring it out but dang but how much time would I have saved you know and my dad probably would have felt so much less guilt had he been around you know but my mom was
threatening to put him in jail get him deported or whatever so I get it I get it he want to go back to a war I get it yeah but you were able to reconnect with him yeah from what when you read about that you're like wow like because you'd think most people would have resentment and bitterness and have this like angst against this person but actually you were just like this is amazing yeah well
see I wanted to have that I thought I thought that's what I would have I thought I would kick him in the balls and be like why' you even have sex with my mama and make me and leave me behind like I thought I would be like so mean to him and mad with him but that's not what my soul was feeling my soul was feeling like okay this is our new adventure this is amazing like oh he's
way handsomer than mama said he's actually way Kinder than what she said he's actually this like like everything that I was told was like the opposite and then like everything my grandma told me was kind of like right on point which I should have been listening to her she was my best friend I should have listened to her from the first but you know the love of my life is telling me
these things so I'm believing what she said and like to be in his presence was like the little girl the three-year-old and me was so happy and I was kind of upset that I was too big for him to pick up like I wanted him to pick me up and hold me and put put me on his hip and I still kind of got this fixation with that where I like I kind of would like to start a service where like retired
basketball players can hold you like a baby that's amazing like you pay them like $300 an hour and they just hold you like a baby and tell you it's going to be okay and Pat you on the back and burp you why is nobody burps you anymore I want somebody to burp me that's hilarious I'm just got this vision of like Shaq like I asked Shaq Shaq said girl you crazy you so damn you actually
asked him yeah I asked him he was like girl you Sil what did you ask him I said would you hold me like a baby and like then burp me and he was like girl you crazy you so damn silly was like have you asked any other BL I have mentioned it and they just laugh they I think they think I'm joking but I'm dead serious I don't even laugh when I say it I'm like would you hold me like a baby and then
like put me over your should and burp me and then like maybe hold me on your hip like this and just tell me it's going to be okay that everything going to be all right would you do that for me and they be like you crazy girl so stupid girl you stupid as hell girl this you hear Tiffany sh D comedian this a comedian right here girl it's a real request though I can hear what you're saying
like there's we all want this feeling of being embraced and being like just feeling like nothing else matters and that everything's taken care of and there's a safety that we're all craving even if that's like when I see my mom now like uh like see her all the time but but it's like right I could tell when my cycle coming right before it come cuz I see her and I just want her
to hold me so I just hug her super tight she be like get off okay okay like all right that's enough and I'm like no momy homie she like that's enough that's enough clearly My love language is touch right so then uh another time she was sitting on the couch in my house watching TV and she's just like this TV is so big and I felt so proud of myself that she said my TV so big so then I sat
down next to her and then I just tried to like crawl up in her lap I tried to like get in her lap and she's like girl you're too big get off of me get off of me and I'm just like I want her to hold me in her lap like she used to when I was a baby when I was little I said sit in her lap and watch TV L lean on her like this you know we watch TV together but I'm too big now I'm too damn
big walk me through that phone call with your dad when it comes out of nowhere because you're so much how old are you in that c 26 about to be so we talking about 34 to 26 27 it's like walk me through okay so I talked to this man that's at some facility said he knows my dad whatever he's going to give my dad the number and all of stuff and I said okay cool then like days go by and then
I get the car and he's like hello is this Tiffany and I'm like I knew like my whole soul knew instantly who he was like it's like DNA like recognition or something like the little girl in me lit up like like I like if I was like laying on the couch sleep was like Daddy was like Daddy is that you and um I was like yes he was like this is th your father I'm like daddy where you
been where you been are you sure you my dad how you know wait are you sure you're my dad like and I was asking him questions about family members he knew stuff that nobody else would know except like him and my mama would know and I was like where are you when can I see you I need to see you I miss you um where you been why you ain't come and get me like I just wanted him to keep
talking that that voice man I can't I'm not very good at impersonating it but I got like a lot of voicemails I always ask him like if if I don't answer please leave me a voice message I got his voice messages and I be listening to him make me feel better like I miss him I was missing him like I barely knew him and I was missing him right so like I be loving people too much I think uh
but I knew it was him immediately I wanted to see him immediately or set up a time for me to go and visit him uh so drive up to Virginia went up to Virginia and I went to see him as soon as I saw him it was like my whole soul rejoiced so happy he's very handsome I'm glad I met him like in that way instead of like in some night club or something cuz I probably would have tried to hit on him or
something I thought it was beautiful and we just talked and talked and talked and I was just like trying to crawl in his lap but I'm bigger than him bigger than him I was trying to get him to hold me trying to spend as much time with him as I could and like he was feeling a lot of guilt he's like I should have been there for this I should have been there for that and I'm like yeah you should have
but you here now like we got this now like and just getting to know him and I was asking him all these questions like is it true that I'm Jewish my grandma always said said this is this true he goes yes this is true but this and this and this and this is what happened and I had to leave and I had to this and and I'm just like wow like asking them so many questions what was it like for you
when you was a little boy did you use toilet in a hole did you use toilet in a toilet like did you have like what did you have and he's like yeah we had money we had a toilet I went I had Italian clothes I had this I got I learned German I learned this language I know this I know that like eight languages like I just was constantly like I feel like I was interrogating them the time
and then he came to California and then I would take him to go see my mom but then I would like snap at him and stuff cuz it would be this part of me that's like damn I'm doing all this for you when you gonna do something for me but like then I had to check myself like hey he gave us life like be nice like but sometimes I would be man especially like and he would get he would get the
business if I drank sometimes I would get like really like lit and remorseful then I would call him and I just cuss him out I just give him on I'm like that was a ho cuz you wasn't there I was this because you didn't show you didn't teach me how to do this did he did hear that yeah he did hear it he heard it from the drunk side of me when you were you funni at when you were
drunk like that or no that was like intense no I was intense I was sitting on the porch I was like I married this man I shouldn't have married this man I like yeah I was at home drinking the man it's on my nerves I'm like what did I do I ruined my life like I this isn't who I'm supposed to be with but clearly I was supposed to be there cuz I needed to learn some things and I learned a lot
from that relationship I'm grateful for that relationship but I would never go back I remember sitting on the porch just crying to my daddy about how like I made all these bad decisions and bad choices cuz I didn't have my daddy to guide me and I need I need my dad I need I need you like and he's like I will get the place with you don't have to be with them I will get the place and you can
have your own room and you can have your own this and he never did do that he never got to that level cuz he wasn't mentally allward he needed to be like he was and that man witnessed a war and then came here and witnessed a whole bunch of other horrible things that like I could only imagine and then the guilt that he was feeling for like abandoning his country you know
abandoning his daughter doing not like he's feeling super duper guilty and then he's learning learning how to grieve too his mother died his daddy died his brothers are all dead all he got his aunties and they you know if they're anything if they would if they were doing to him anything like what they do to me um and they probably did it to him more um I just you know yeah I I pray for him
I pray for his soul I feel like oh man this God to feel horrible he probably felt like on a daily basis so I really and then the next day I apologize so tough for going off on him like that and I'm like I should have never did that he's like no it's okay you know my friends my friends always like how is your daughter so nice to you and you didn't even raise her I raised my daughters and my
daughter's so mean to me and evil to me and your daughter's nice and kind to you and loves you like my daugh maybe I shouldn't have been there for my daughter maybe she would be nice to me cuz my daughter's mean to me and then when I was mean to him he's like telling all his friends she's falling was mean to me she cussed me out she was me that make like he could fit in with his group
of friends or whatever but he's like it's okay you got to express yourself you got to let that out express yourself and I'm like no but it's wrong because I really do love you I really do appreciate you giving me life even though I hate this life a lot of days like lot a lot of days I hate even like man why couldn't I have just been a tree like why could just stay in one place
and watch the world change around me like uh but then trees get abused too so yeah for sure for sure there's there's there's a great yeah I mean trees live through a lot but and they' SE a lot and they've been through they live through a lot of abuse yeah for sure but there's so much in what you're saying that I think resonates so deeply with me this curiosity and context around how our
parents became who they were is so huge like to actually have context of how your dad became your dad how your mom became your mom this isn't a matter of whose fault is it it's all your fault it's account it's not that it's let's understand people's story yeah so I don't feel that like that it's your fault yeah that it's not my fault it's not your fault you had these experiences
and I think I like to imagine that there's a contract that you signed with God before you got here that says hey this is the stuff you're going to go through so you can accomplish these things and maybe their job was just to make me maybe their their job was to you know be in certain people's lives and find this thing and then activate this person for that and activate this person
for this um maybe that was their job maybe that's the contract they signed and I hope my mom has like a whole bunch more stuff to do uh and lives a lot longer and and I hope I do get her into college and like she doesn't fight the teachers or anything like that like uh I hope that it turns out great and she does get her certification in culinary arts and she's able to cook and do
whatever it is she wants to do like whatever her dream is I want her to have her dream um and I want to I would love to facilitate it but also I want to protect the safety of others at the same time and the you know the mental sanity of others because you have to set up a private school yeah maybe it set up a priv maybe I have professors come to teach her but she wants to go yeah yeah
she wants to so maybe I set it up like you know hire some actors and you know some teachers you know like she's at school you're at school and then maybe they are psychologist like you know maybe that maybe she's work study maybe she's a study maybe it's a study program where there's all therapist in the room but they studying culinary arts and they seeing how someone with this type of
damage in their brain operates in this type of environment you know what I should make some money off of that that could that could contribute to the generational wealth I'm trying to create for this family did you always you know honestly Tiffany I think when people read this book they they're going to laugh as I'm laughing right now and they're also going to feel I and I'm not just saying this as
flattery and I'm not just saying it because you're here I I really do mean this it's very rare to meet someone who's been through as much as you have and hear it in a processed thoughtful way yes it's hilarious but it's also processed was what else apart from Comedy was your therapy like what else has been part of this healing journey to help process actual therapy order
therapy yeah I was like ordered by the course to go to therapy eventually and like uh that helped a lot and some therapists were really good and some were like horrible and I felt like I was like sitting in a therapist office just doing stand up for them because they're giggling and laughing and stuff and I'm like wa Heal Me heal me like get get the pain away like uh give me where I can
like function and and they would make suggestions and those suggestions actually like did make a difference that one therapist that said like get back to doing standup as a hobby just do it as a hobby and that turned into a full-blown living and I appreciate appreciate her for saying that but like um actual therapy actually reading books like actually like reading different books
about like self-care like self-care stuff and and maybe there be like you read this 300 Page book and it' be like one thing in it that I could take with me I man Louise Hayes I love me some Louise Hayes that lady oh if if she was still alive I remember when she died I cried for it if she was still alive I I kiss I kiss her right on her third eye and say thank you
kiss her right on her third eye amazing yeah CA that like her her like mantras the uh you could heal your body book like even though I don't know if those those mantras really help I do them anyways you know just distract my mind from whatever that's going on uh I don't think the one for endometriosis works I think we got to we got to rewrite that one but but but I mean just just those thing
like the self-care self-care being self-aware like um and it's a process you know look I've been drinking I've been drinking since I was 21 years old on and off I would go years without drinking drink no drink drink no drink whatever not really my bag you know had my incidents and I'm just like you know what I ain't gonna be drinking no more I'm cool and that was five months ago by
the way congratulations yeah not six months but we can roll with six it it'll be 6 months it'll be 6 Years it'll be probably 16 years from now like and I have like a big old mocktail company and I found this non-alcoholic Roseta is Bomb okay what is it it's bomb I can't even tell you the name cuz I I don't I need they need to pay me I done spend so much money on the N because like when I would go to parties
I always bring it bring uh whatever I like to drink to the party yeah yeah I just went to MGK's party his birthday party and I brought the the non-alcoholic Ros people like oh you drinking oh you drink what is that what you drinking I'm like non alcoholic Ros you want to try something they like oh this is good I was like yep and my body's not going to hurt tomorrow yours
will nice nice like so good oh my god well drop the name here they're going to come find you I don't know I don't know I don't I feel like they won't they W I feel like they won't they won I feel like they got to come find they they know they they they in Whole Foods okay they in Whole Foods all right you dropping the little Clues the little bread Whole Foods and it's a
rosé and it's a animal on the cup I love it all the hints are dropped all the hints are dropped I also like this non-alcoholic vodka too even though it's I just imagine that it's rubbing alcohol though that's what it kind of tastes like but it don't it doesn't T like what rubbing alcohol it tastes like like alcohol it's alcohol it is alcohol it's not alcohol it's not alcohol it's not
alcoholic it tastes but that's good though no it tastes exactly how you want it to taste oh you don't like okay I never look I never really like the taste of Voda but you know you put a little flavor little sugar in there like drop a Jolly Ranch in there you know what I'm saying some lemons make an alkaline that's what I would tell myself got it but it takes the pain away it would take
the pain away from me and now and now it now you don't use that to take the pain away so so you just sit in the pain which Hein got processed it with your father I felt like ultimately his guilt and shame kind of made you feel like you lost him again because that was so heavy for him that he kind of distanced himself he distanced himself from me I think he knew he was sick and then he didn't want
me to see him like that and he didn't want to have to depend on me CU he knew I would take care of him like he knew I he never wanted money he never like you talk about he didn't want money from you he didn't want to be a part of your Fame it wasn't it wasn't that no and I would still like quietly pay the light bill send groceries to his house and so he'd be like don't do that I got like he
wanted to take care of but he wasn't capable of taking care of me he was sick and I think he didn't want me to know that or have anything to do like I think he felt like this was his punishment or whatever for whatever wow but he left like a whole like memor like what I need to do how I need to do it and I did it all like I'm obedient when it come to my parents at least I try to be I
definitely am obedient did you end up organizing the funeral and attending or he didn't want no funeral oh wow okay but um he didn't want that he he didn't want me spending any money on him cuz he felt like he didn't spend nothing on me but I did but he didn't want to be buried with his mother so I um and it's against the tradition of create he did not like he's like they're going to be
mad at you but you know I don't want you spending all that money to take me back like go ahead and cremate me take me and put me with my mom and I told him if I cremate you I'll put half of you with your mama and half of you in my garden cuz you never really f me anyway so you have to grow me some food and I did that and did I just I just read this thing like last year that
if you have a cemetery in your backyard your property taxfree if you got family members like buried in your backyard I was like hm I wonder if Ash just count cuz I need get this property tax is killing me wow how do you come across all this interesting I'm always digging for information especially when it comes to my money and my health like so yeah I was just looking for tax breaks also I
saw that you know Trump buried you know his peoples in on the golf course and then now they don't have to pay no tax over there I think I did see that yeah yeah so I was like oh what can I do here in South Central LA I'm like bab my daddy's over here near the cagin he by the chili peppers and the mints let us know if that goes through let us know if you figure out they told me
no I already went to the city and tried it I was like my father is in the backyard they was like no you need to exume the body I was like well it's ashes I can't really I'm sure the plant done ate him up two years ago that was back in 2017 you know so I'm pretty sure he's gone gone gone but yeah you talking about taking care of your money and your health you were saying there was one
point in time where you had like a billboard up for your show but then you still had like a you know like a Obama phone I think you called it like this idea of like you've always tried to figured that out even now like at one point you lived homeless when you were growing up in your teens and like living in a car but now you still live in the area you grew up in yeah and and that's
to inspire others to see what's possible and see that you can still move because usually people make it and then they leave right but you you really felt that that was important yeah I felt it important to stay um also I like it over there I feel safe over there and I want to be where I'm you know I don't want to be where I'm tolerated I want to be where I'm wanted so it's staying in the hood I just feel
like I'm a great example to these other kids like look Tiffany couldn't read that good Tiffany couldn't read at all for a minute Tiffany couldn't this Tiffany couldn't that and look what she had she on the billboard right on the corner front of the house she on that house right there and like three other houses on this street she also doing this she doing that like she doing stuff
in a community like I'm a firm believer of like oh if my community is like messed up I don't have to leave my community I can stay right here and I can make it better now if if I was like if I was the gang member maybe it'd be more difficult but maybe I could be influencing the other people in the gang to like okay we gonna do this now this is what the gang's going to do now this
is what we doing now that now you the manager you the security you the this like you got to buy a house now you have to buy a house now it's some it's funny when somebody buys a house how they like perspective changes on what type of activities they participate in oh interesting like that's what I've noticed anyways from like my hood friends like people in the community
like what they was all about fighting all about this all about but as soon as they bought a house they like oh no I can't be doing all that I got to cut my grass I gotta this I got to do this I need to make my mortgage I need to do that like I got to go to work I got to do this like it kind of changes the activity that you participate in like you might still be a thug and still be a
gangster but I got to go get my money and I don't have time to be fighting you I don't have time to be like potentially killing you and losing my house even though house could help me post bail like I just also never always be telling them like I can't imagine you saying this my block this my block but you on Section A you don't own nothing on this block like you own nothing on this block
but this is your block no this block belongs to the herreras the zinski the go like this block everybody that owns land over here you don't own nothing you actually paying $12 a month in rent and selling dope like you a rental storefront like you you're not you don't own nothing over here who in your crew own something like to me that that's more like okay this our block like do
your your granny pass your granny don't even you sold like y'all sold it and still rent like you don't nobody owns anything on this block well but you saying it's your block it ain't your block bro you you can't even inherit anything over here so you look like a idiot you protecting all their stuff and you're not even really protecting it you running it into the ground like how you
expect anybody to really respect you you don't even own anything like would you own this old ass o mobile with them rims you own the rims no you renting those rims you don't even own the rims like yeah life is temporary but you got four kids they need to have something to inherit what are they going to inherit from you those rims you could do better bro do better
do do you see people do you feel that you see things changing and people changing and that slow even if it's slow and patient yeah it's slow slowly Chang but also the demographic is changing too so like why they thought they was going to be in that section A for I don't know how long they thought they was going to be in it now the landlord's like oh no I don't no longer want it to be section A
so you going to have to pay the $4,000 a month for rent or you going to have to move and now they in section A out Lancaster Palmdale hmet so now I barely even see them anymore if at all you know and they and and they like hey I got I bought the house I bought like people buying their stuff like I had to go way out of the out of LA to buy but I own something now like and this is going
better for me this going better for me so that I see changes in like the people that I grew up with and I'm really happy for them yeah that's beautiful happy for now I mean I mean it's incredible that you've been able to you know make home in the community and and you talk about it as your community it's a place where you feel safe you feel comfortable yeah and we'd be looking out for each other
and the Asian lady across the street be like I saw a man in the car with the camera I called the police like thank you the dude next door he's a retired police officer he be Cheo people off like every you should be behind the gate you should be behind the gate I'm like but behind this door is guns like they don't want no don't want to smoke like don't come up in here and and I might
make you clean my room up so it's amazing good luck finding anything of any value in there it's amazing Tiffany you've had such a you know genuinely we we've been talking about your personal life so much you've had such an amazing professional Journey as well when you're talking about your imagination and even your solutions for wanting a basketball player to hold you and make you feel
like a baby or you know just the way your imagination Works to solve things like what is your imagination saying about creative artistic expressive projects like where do you not what's next because I don't I don't find that question interesting but in the sense of like where do you let your imagination run free and how do how do you allow it to do that so that you can explore this
amazing world you have inside your head yes Tiffany land uh I wish I wish could be an amusement park black unicorn Island yeah black unicorn Island yes okay that's the next book okay so well it's been running so like with music I love creating music like I said I like singing to the bees I like singing I've been uh preparing like I got a band and so uh I've always been kind of in love
with like the 40s the 30s the 20s you know that Jazzy era the 50s and singing in a like a Supper Club and doing that so I just performed at verb last month and it was like super dope it was so much fun no that was this month actually it was super fun and like I had this like classic dress on and singing these songs now I am not the best singer but you know what if Bob Dylan could make a
career out of it I could too that's how I feel about it like you don't it's not about how well you sing is about how entertaining you are like how do you make how do you make them feel it's all about how you it that's what entertainment is it's like well you contain these people and you make them feel a certain type of way and is it a feeling that they want to walk away and say Hey I want other people feel that
too that was kind of great that was amazing or that was an experience right so like I'm very like about that so I'm singing like old songs from the 30s and 20s and 40s and 50s and then some of my original songs that I've made and I've been working with like Dian Warren writing some really dope songs to like Empower women Empower people anyways and then like a really cool breakup song
it's like my favorite I want you but I want you gone I need you but I need you out of my life I love it that's so good it did then then like all the movies I want to make right so like uh somebody was ask like you said you want to make 80 movies by the time you're 50 you got a long way to go and I'm like I didn't say I want to be in all those movies I want to create a opportunity for other people
to tell their stories and I'm just produc on it I'm being a part of the creation process like we still haven't shot the flowjo movie got to get that script right like and I could just imagine how dope that's going to be the nails the hair me running all fast my body like you know and hey if I'm too old okay I'm too old give someone else the opportunity or AI is coming in real
good but um tell that love story between her and her husband uh and then I want to do I want to see the Eda James story I want to see that like cuz she grew up in foster care like me she been through the ringer had to perform as a kid and all the different homes she was in like I want to see that story also I want to do some kind of like a documentary or something about like all
these successful women I have never met one successful woman that has not been through like any woman that I have ever met or heard of that's successful has has like been beat up in some kind of way physically emotionally mentally something been beat up some kind of way and bounce back and like stood strong T toes down I'mma make this happen and it happens right um and I want to do
something about that cuz I I think right now too like there's so many young girls that like that I've talked to that seem to feel hopeless feel like you know what's the point like no like nobody cares about me and it's like there are people that about you you just can't see them right now you haven't met them yet or you have met them and you just don't know how to identify what care is so
something about that uh I want to do who frame Roger Rabbit too I feel like oh that would be so good and I want to be the detective and Jessica Rabbit maybe I'll be Rebecca Rabbit Jessica's sister who marries Rogers brother I don't know uh but like I want to see that cuz that was a really good movie that was based off of some true stuff that happened in Los Angeles
that's why we have freeways now because of that that judge that was in that movie that's a real judge so I would love to like do something with that I have so many ideas anation uh I want to open this grocery store I could see it in my mind's eye it's like I'm shopping at it every day I know that's going to happen and uh create some like really awesome human beings I love how there's no limits Crea
and I think we I think we're now living in a time in the world where people can be multi highets and what you just said it's I think a lot of the time we've been like oh you have to be talented you have to be this and what we realized it's who can make people feel something in any sort of way and we resonate with that we all connect with it and I think if anyone who's listening and watching
and wants to do something thinks I wish I started 10 years ago I wish I started when I was younger oh I didn't get that you know I didn't have parents who were supporting it it's almost like it doesn't matter like it doesn't matter the KFC dude started at 65 70 years old he was old and that thing is all over the world KFC's all over the world Kentucky Fried Chicken every single country like it's
and they had enough competition too like McDonald's and Wendy's competition is all over the world now he might not have lived long enough to see it be all over the world but hey he started something he's a Visionary and I feel like that's that's what I am at the end of the day I'm a Visionary and I'm an administrator of Joy that's all I am and some people hate that and that's okay that's cuz you
don't know how to process joint you don't you got a lot of hurt in your heart got a lot of hurt and you need to figure out how to process that and if you want to learn I'm down to show you a little bit I can't you know I'm still processing my Hur but if you get this book Cur you with joy I curse you with joy might help you some it might help you some and maybe your breath won't
stin so bad I think people with a lot of hate in their heart got bad breath oh that's an interesting hypothesis wow that's that's interesting I'm going to start testing that out yeah just just do my research I mean I mean I don't it's funny like people that talk really poorly and negative about other people they breath usually stay that's fasinating if you think about it I mean
do you ever sit around people that just talk negative all the time I don't usually so you don't but like you could be at a party or something and they just like did you not a did this you be like breath is horrible they are dying on the inside or you ever been in a car with somebody and they don't stop talking and the whole car smell like their breath it's just atrocious been and then every when you
start to realize everything they saying is negative it's not even anything positive it's a lot of hate in their heart or they they needed dentist cuz that tooth is dead there that that tooth is hating hating the rest of their body and they could end up having a heart attack from that did you know most heart attacks come from bad teeth I did not that's not is that true
no that's not true I think so that's what I think so cuz y start believing all your resets if you start making claims the the dentist Association loves me for this but just think about this just think about this think about this every person that you know that's had a heart attack okay did was the teeth nice I have to look into it I have to look into it think about it bad teeth bad
heart Tiffany tell me what little Tiffany little if l t look at you now what would you be proud of little T be proud that we own so many homes little would be proud that we housing so many foster kids little T would be proud that we lived out our dreams of being like on oural Hall Show and although we didn't get pregnant by Areno or anything still happy that that's a friend that we could
call on for advice Little T would be really happy oh little T would be so happy about um the car that we have now even though it's a hoopty right now cuz somebody hit my other car little is happy that I got that car cuz looking it's like a Transformer when the hood go down even though it's old and Raggedy she loves that car Little T would be super happy about the fact that we have enough money
that we never have to be hungry again never hungry and never homeless again never no matter what m liil t be happy that we made enough friends that if something was to happen it would be okay it would be okay that we wouldn't we might not have our own home but we would have a place to stay and no Little T would be very proud that we didn't go to prison but little T is confident that if
we went to prison we would be like doing just fine in there because we was definitely thinking of ways to that could have ended us up in prison yeah thinking of some really crazy stuff and um and she would be proud that that like that we can give jobs that like I'm capable of creating jobs and that every time I say yes to a job that's two or 300 people that get to to work
immediately and thousands that get to work once it comes out you know and Little T would be like even she would be disappointed that you know we got a du but even more proud that if you Google black women with a DUI only I pop up glorilla what with little te and Josephine Baker at first before glorilla got hers it was just me and Josephine Baker wow look Google famous black women with a DUI see
what come up wow what what would Little T look at you now and feel like she'll be like you are international we International they talked about it on the Korean news the news in Africa is international you're world famous should be so proud what would she wish that you did what would you wish if there was anything that she was like I wish we could get back to that wish we
could do more of that I wish I wish there was I I wish we still did that there's something gymnastics cool and the rhythmic dance cool think she wishes that I I know she does wish we could have went to the Olympics and been a rhythmic dancer and stuck to that still possible she's disappointed in me that my splits are not all the way to the ground anymore she they used to be they
used to be to the ground used to be coochie to the floor not no more not no more not no more she's very disappointed still possible though it's possible it's possible with proper training still disciplined this can be done it but she is disappointed also that we didn't become hola dancers it's supposed to be a hoola dancer she's disappointed in that too but other than that then that's possible
I took I took a few classes I know how to work them hips I'm just not a professional hula just not but we could create a movie where I end up being a hola dancer everything is POS also she's a little disappointed that we not working in a Snicker Factory or know how to make panty hoes from scratch I'm supposed to know how to make panty hoes by now but I don't I love it but I could
sew some but I don't know how to like you know weave them and fix a run I'm supposed to know how to fix a run in the stocking I know how to put the nail polish on there and stop the run hit it with the hairspray stop the run but I'm supposed to know how to weave nylon and um stop it that's what I'm supposed to know how to do it's not too late to lch it's not too late I keep
telling liil T it ain't too late it's not too late we never know but she is proud that I did make my own beef jerky even though we supposed to work in a beef jerky Factory but I know I know how to make beef jerky so she she proud of that we got a food dehydrator and I talk about weat isn't me and Lil te she's still alive of course and she still be talking mess I love it Tiffany you who's up on
the uh did you Google it it's it is only you you are the only person that comes up legendary did you hear that we just checked it verify it I'm just saying that some people be like that's you should be ashamed of that but I know a lot of other famous black women who have DUIs but nobody knows oh interesting cuz nobody cares they care about me that's how I look at it now that might be a horrible
thing it might be horrible it might be horrible for me to think that way but I did my community service and I'm helping out in all these different places and I've made new friends because of it and I might be going on dinner dates with this police now because I'm everything happens for a reason dat on that everything happens for a reason every if I get married in Beverly Hills
you know why everything happens for a reason but that allowed me to know that uh like little T is like yo it's a lot of people that care about us cuz if didn't nobody care about you nobody would write about it they wouldn't make videos about it they wouldn't be like oh God she's having a break now whatever like they wouldn't be talking about it like I'm I'm like I'm white girl famous
they talking about it in Africa all over Africa they talking about it in Asia I didn't even know I was popping like that in a like in in Korean news these Studios can now not say she's not International you can't say that this is the proof you this is the proof internation BBC talked about it CNN a DUI and I blew a .03 I was sleep pulled over now maybe I was parked wrong it should have been a bad parking
ticket that's what it should have been but you know what it is what it is some things need to happen for can no Studio say she she's not International that proves it right there right there it might not be the best way to prove it but godamn it that proves it people care Tiffany you are a treat and a joy to spend time with I don't think I've ever laughed this much on the show he wasn't
even laughing he was just giggling I was I was I was laughing I was laughing honestly I'm so so happy that you put this book today I'm so grateful that I got to hang out with you and do this with you we've been talking for nearly two hours and it's flown by we end every episode with on of on purpose with a Fast Five a final five every question has to be answered in one word to one
sentence maximum Okay so luck Tiffany adish these these are your final five no these are rules Tiffany okay these are rules have to follow rules you hear that little T you hear that you hear that so question one okay Tiffany what is the best advice you've ever heard or received don't let nobody in your house they don't have nothing to lose I like that that would never had that love that
uh question number two what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received I'm just thinking of stupid Stu stupid stuff I've heard men say to me that I know is that you no because that's a statement that's not necessarily advice that makes sense they go and say it say it's cool it's if it's coming to your mind I want to hear the look on your face means we have to hear
it girl I a't got to put no condom on you know I love you that do not mean a man love you it do not mean he love you that's brilliant that is not love that's brilliant that is not love every woman out there just cuz he don't want to put a condom on does not mean he love you he is just trying to get wet spit on it glad you shared that uh question sorry I'm glad you saidar it that's the
honest trueth uh question number three what is your most repeated thought on a daily basis clean your room clean your room clean your room clean your room I got to clean my room I'm going to make some trying to clean this room I CLE my room that's good okay you can't keep working on that one project clean the room that's great uh question number four what's something that you used to value
that you don't value anymore um something that I used to value that I don't value anymore saving checks I used to save checks okay checks that people write me I put them in a photo album okay I don't do that no more because too many checks there's direct deposit but but yeah but if someone hands me a check today I will take a picture of it but I don't put it in a photo album anymore it's in a folder
though in my phone but that's beautiful but I used like cuz I thought it was so awesome when somebody hand write me a check they sign it even if it a company they send they mailed it to me and it's money and then when you could take a picture of in deposit I said I have two photo albums full of checks I love that uh Fifth and final question Tiffany we ask this to every guest who's ever been
on the show if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow what would it be well you have to hug someone every day oh I love that one I love a hug a hug a hug even if you don't like being hugged you gotta hug like if you don't get at least one hug in you gotta get a hug or make someone else laugh every day yeah that would make the world better it's a good look a lot of
people are angry because they don't get no hugs nobody touches them and they need a hug yeah but don't be just hug people be randomly just hugging me yesterday I was in the airport this lady just came up to me crying full tears and she said just thank you so much just thank you so much and I and I start crying I was like what why we think you what what's going on
and she just hugged me and then I was like happy that she hugged me but then at the same time I was mad cuz she had all them tears and it was all on my shoulders you said the L you said the law she just fallowing the law she was fallowing the law and I appreciated the hug but I did not like the tears on my show her but I really wanted to know why she was crying and I do not know why she
was crying I had to get on the plane I still don't know exactly why I think she was happy either she was happy that I cut all my hair off because all her hair was cut off or she was happy that I went to Israel because I did see a star David on her so I'm gonna go with this because I went to Israel go even though could be because we bheed yeah I went in February
for black history Mon and I went to find all the black people and I did what was that experience like it was amazing it's just like California bro it felt like I was in America but they speak Hebrew it's very interesting was this your first time first time first time was that quite a powerful experience in terms of it was very powerful because you know every religion
is there everybody's there everybody's there I know I've been as well yeah I went in 2017 you went in 2017 and when I went to Jerusalem um maybe because there a war going on there was barely anybody in Jerusalem like that so I didn't have to wait in no long lines I could do all the activities got the shop freely nobody's like bumping into me nobody's yelling at me so it was kind of beautiful cuz I had
been doing my researching seeing like oh you might have to wait in line to go in here you have to wait in line go wait for this I didn't have to wait to go in anything I went into all the churches uh I I did not get to go into the mosque uh probably because they knew who I was or whatever and that I'm Jewish so I but I looked I was like this I was over here like this what made you want to go right
now well I was supposed to go like four years ago okay I was supposed to go already was planning on going already had a ticket like trying to go you know it's funny cuz people saying they paid you to go there and I'm like that check I would have took a picture of and posted okay nobody paid me to be anywhere this was me wanting to like I'm super thirsty for knowledge I read about
these places in the Bible in the Torah in the Quran I read about like I went to the Church of Scientology they talked about Jerusalem like everybody talks about this place like I need to see this and this is like where Jesus was where this person was Abraham all the all the major players was in that area so let me go see this and I went and it was I got to go in that Tunnel right the
underground tunnel and that that where the Mikvah is and like learn about the that's where baptism came from from the Mikvah and all that stuff and people getting cleaned up coming from all the other nations to come visit the and that's the that's the trail that Jesus walked every year and then he walked at that one particular year and got assassinated at the top of it right and
built a church around where they had you know killed him and around where they say he was buried and um it's something there I don't know if it's aliens underneath the rock or if the rock is from Mars and they got some kind of energy it's some kind of energetic like reboost reset like on the soul I felt like I was surrounded like feel like I was surrounded by like my ancestors I
could feel like hear Whispers I was like looking around to see did they put some speakers in here or something like I was hearing like like hey this is what you need to do now this is what you need like like guidance like this is where you go for guidance I prayed at the wall put a little few prayers in there prayed in the church I was like I'm pray everywhere G if God is here if God is
all throughout this well then gez let me get some let me pray everywhere yeah you know that's how I felt about it I feel like I feel like we all praying to the same person we just doing it in different ways because we come from different cultures because of Babylon a b line where where everybody got the different languages and stuff sure where where in the Bible where it say uh where
uh everybody was speaking one language at first and then then Babel Babel when they was building a Tower of Babel in Babylon right and then everybody start babbling it was everybody speaking different languages and they start separating into different tribes different whatever because they didn't speak the same languages anymore right is that an I'm not sure of the exact place come on you a monk you supposed to
know all these different things different tradition different tradition okay so what so what did the monks say how did different languages come about we never really talked about that that wasn't part of the education so you didn't didn't care about why people speak different languages no I did I care about that but that wasn't part of our see but you don't know why people
speak different languages let's ask our researcher over there researcher can you tell me cuz I'm pretty sure it's I'm pretty sure it's Babylon bab where where what was the place where people started when God made people start speaking different languages because he was like oh they keep talking to musim that they doing too much got it he got caus some confusion that's like
my number one thing I hate is confusion but my room looks like it's confused but I know where everything at but I hate confusion oh the Tower of that the tower Tower of Babel yeah yeah the Tower of Babel there we go okay I know my research be sure my research I didn't want to say anything I didn't know so so I'm I say all that to say I don't know if it's aliens under that rock I don't
know if the rock is from Mars I don't know if that's actually God is in the Rock I don't know if God is hanging out in the mosque in the temple I don't know I don't know but what I do know about Jerusalem is it is a very powerful place there's definitely something spiritual going on it Taps into the spirit I don't know if it's like heighten energy where all your chakras open up and you can get
like messages coming through or whatever something's going on there and there all the different races and religions are there and all throughout the country like and they're and they're dealing with a lot of the same crap that we're dealing with amongst themselves uh I was talking to the black Jews uh that there's a very large African-American diaspora of uh Black Hebrew Jews up in
Demona and they say Demona is where the the nuclear weapons are but I think the nuclear weapons is them black African-Americans but the D aspa there they could they off the chain but but I could be wrong I don't know but I was hanging out with a lot of them and I was learning a lot and I went to a Masada and and that was like absolutely gorgeous I went to the uh Dead Sea do not pee when you in the Dead Sea don't
have Cuts before you go in don't they going to heal oh they going to heal bur and they say and they say they gonna burn well it's gonna heal it's gonna be disinfected they said they say that nothing grows in the Dead Sea but I I beg to differ because I seen them salt spikes growing on the poles over there I think the salt grows and then um uh and what else H I got some much say oh I
went to this other place called Sak and it's like natural springs and it's like the the whole like thing of 300 or whatever the Spartans of 300 was like not too far away from where Sak is and it's his natural experence and I was all in there I felt like I was getting younger or something there was fish coming up eating a dead skin off my feet so I was experiencing a lot of the
nature and the actual people and I was like talking with the better ons and talking with like I talk with everybody and there was Palestinians there too and I'm talking with them and I got to go to keep boots and I got to see I could see Gaza from there and it was horrible is absolutely horrible I I don't know why humans do this to each other maybe because they don't get
enough hugs I don't know why like I don't understand how like anybody would want to eradicate any group of people any kind of like I that part I just I don't know I don't have that in me I can't understand it I don't even want to make myself understand it I just would like that to stop I want peace everybody should have peace everybody deserves Joy so I curse the world with
joy the book is called I curse you would joy Tiffany hadish it's available right now this conversation I'm sure it's inspired you to go and grab a copy of the book dive deep into it you are going to laugh you're going to learn you're going to cry you're going to feel it all uh Tiffany thank you for being extraordinary genuinely you're extraordinary I can't think of another word you're thought you said I was
extraordinary and I got really excited because that's you know we I want to be ordinary but I know that I'm not I'm extraordinary right your presence is infectious your energy is magnetic I mean it's honestly just being around you is is Joy good and I want to thank you for sharing that with us and my onp purpose Community today than I got some of that rock in my pocket I love it
that's what it is rock it but I did steal some dirt from the uh oh from that tunnel and a two rocks from there I want to become an archaeologist that's going to be my next thing I'm going go over there and do archaeology for like three days I love it and go dig out some more stuff maybe open a dress shop in that tunnel it felt like a mall yeah I look thata looks like
a mall well their Ms probably copied that someone someone got the idea from there probably that's that's how they got it you right yeah that's how they got it you right see see Jay when I hang out with you I learn stuff too no I just know not nothing at all I think our intentions were met here today without a doubt and I want to tell everyone who's listening and watching make sure you
share what you learned from Tiffany tag both of us on X on Instagram on Tik Tok let us know what stayed with you what resonated with you what connected with you in the YouTube comments let us know because I love to see what Tiffany shared that's helping you become happier healthier and healed thanks so much thank you thank you you're amazing if you love this episode you'll
enjoy my conversation with Megan Trainer on breaking generational trauma and how to be confident from the inside out my therapist told me stand in the mirror naked for 5 minutes it was already tough for me to love my body but after the c-section scar with all the stretch marks now I'm looking at myself like I've been hacked but day three when I did it I was like you know what her thighs are cute