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If I really wanted to, I'd be the biggest guy in the financial industry. You know that line.
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So, it's not that if you really wanted to, you don't think you can do it.
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So, that's really a cop-out way of doing it.
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We've all done this before.
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So, one of the first questions I wanted to ask you because I've seen this in your videos and I get fascinated because I'm I'm massively into visualization of being surrounded by inspiration.
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Tell us about the significance behind your dead mentors painting in your office because that we see in all the videos and I also see the uh Marvel characters, too.
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And I'm just like, "Dude, like it looks like you've got like Universal Studios in the house, you know?" So, I love it.
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You know, it's funny you say that.
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It's It's right over here to the side.
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I don't even know if you can see it or not.
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It's all the way over there.
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So, it's the office turned into a studio.
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So, you know, the painting to me is eight characters that mean a lot to me.
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Uh Einstein is obviously one of the most brilliant minds out there and I have a big statue of Einstein in my house.
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And Einstein's philosophy on math is slightly different than Milton Friedman, who was a famous economist, capitalist, but they kind of debate. They clash a little bit.
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And you have Kennedy and Lincoln and they clash a little bit and they're both presidents. You got Tupac and MLK.
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They clash a little bit, you know?
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So, and then you have the Shah of Iran, which is you know, the Shah was there when I was born in Iran 3 months before he was in exile.
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And then Senna, which in my opinion is the greatest Formula 1 race car driver and I named my daughter after his last name, Senna.
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So, my daughter's name is Senna Be David after his last name.
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And then they're sitting there debating two books.
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One book is one form of economy.
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The other book is another form of economy.
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So, they're debating Atlas Shrugged and Communist Manifesto, which you J, it's kind of like the complete opposite of religions in economy.
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And then, you know, they're they're just having that kind of a conversation in a bank vault.
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And then the three characters there with the Hulk and Batman and Joker is an element of my personality.
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I have a little bit of all three of them.
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And then at the front I also have Captain America uh not Captain America um Optimus Prime. He's 9 3 1400 lb.
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And it was custom made in Malaysia.
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We brought it in and I saw it and I said I got to have it.
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So those are some of the things that I have in my office here. Yeah.
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I mean that already tells us so much about you and how your mind works.
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And we we share a lot of people in common.
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So on this wall and my other podcast wall which I'd love to see when you come to LA we have Einstein and Muhammad Ali.
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I have Muhammad Ali on this wall.
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I have Tupac on my wall too.
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I also have some of Nikola Tesla's first ever patents of his motors.
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But what I love about what you just shared there is this embracing of paradoxes like opposites.
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And and I'm someone who gets fascinated by that too.
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Like what is Why do you find paradoxes and opposites and ideas that seemingly collide so fascinating like you have in that painting you described? You know what's crazy?
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When I was a kid growing up I watched Rocky IV.
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And when you watch Rocky IV in Iran when you watch Rocky IV in Iran with Persian dialect cuz it was all you know you watch some of the movies whether it's whatever dialect it is and you're in Iran watching it in Farsi Sly sounds different.
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But when you watch the movie at that time the you know tensions in America and Russia was very high.
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I mean a lot higher than what it is today with Russia.
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Today Russia's been replaced by China.
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But back in the days it was really Russia and US going at it right?
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And you saw him go into Russia to fight Drago who killed his best friend.
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And then at the end he says a message.
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He says if I can change if you can change if he can change anybody can change.
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I mean I just I just got the chills all over my body thinking about this message.
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And then in my family my parents my my father was an imperialist and my mother was a communist.
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I mean completely different philosophy when it comes on to politics.
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And I watched them go at it all the time.
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So, it always came down to Republicans think Democrats have no clue what they're talking about.
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Democrats think Republicans have no clue what they're talking about.
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I have friends on both sides that are brilliant, and I always want to know, "How did you come to your conclusion of your views?
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How did you come to your conclusion of your views?"
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And there's truth on both sides, and there's a lot to be learned on both sides.
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So, for me, you know, the reason why I look at it from that standpoint is you look at America today, we're pretty divided.
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Sometimes, just because somebody else is a different color or different background or different age or different religion or different political affilia- affiliation, we probably have a few thousand things in common, and maybe 11 things that are not in common.
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If we focus on more of the things that we have in common, we'll figure out a way to bring people together.
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So, this is one of the reasons why I love a healthy debate. I love watching debates.
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Like, for me, you know, people like to fight, you know, maybe watch a UFC fight or a box- I like to watch a good debate on YouTube. That's what I enjoy.
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That's entertainment for me.
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That's why these two topics always sitting down together kind of fascinating to me.
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Yeah, and what what a great answer, man.
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It's really really refreshing to hear that.
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What's something What's something that you've been debating with a friend or a or your family or your wife recently?
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Like, what's been a What's been a discussion or debate?
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It doesn't need to be serious. It could be anything.
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Yeah, I mean, look, friendly stuff.
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I have a friend of mine whose name is Steve.
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Let me tell you, Steve and I, we go back He was the Michael Jordan of our high school, okay?
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So, this guy holds all the records.
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And he was the guy that we would I would bring my dad just to watch this guy play. He was fascinating.
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Now, if he and I can go anywhere, we can be in uh you know, Madrid, Colombia, you're anywhere we can be, there's going to be a moment where we debate the greatest basketball player of all time.
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And we can go for 5 hours. Just say heated.
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People think we hate each other.
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We're screaming, "You're out of your mind. You're crazy."
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And it's just exciting, you know.
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He says he's a LeBron guy, and secretly he likes to say Jordan, but he's really a LeBron guy.
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And I'm going back with data, and I'm giving him data but it's not about data and then he comes up and he says, "You never played organized basketball.
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I play with the highest level guys.
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You don't really understand basketball."
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But it's so entertaining and I We have two of our friends who just sit there and they just enjoy it, you know, and then you can talk about debates about what's the greatest game, you know, what's the greatest leader of all time.
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I mean, it could be anything.
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When I was a kid, we would come down from uh Chevy Chase when I lived in Glendale, we would come down from Doran because I went to Wilson Junior High School and we would walk all the way down and I lived off of Broadway right by the post office and it was a good 20-minute drive. A 20-minute walk.
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That 20-minute walk when we would go with my friends, we would talk about things.
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We would say, "Hey Jay, let me ask you this.
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You could be the most powerful person in the world, president.
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You could be the richest man in the world.
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You could be the person that is the most spiritual leader that's from whatever church you choose, a Billy Graham-esque type of a person, a show promoter, somebody that has that kind of a stature.
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You can be the greatest athlete, the greatest performer, so Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan, president, all this stuff. Who would you choose?"
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And then people would say, "I would choose this."
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And that would lead to a dialogue.
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Why wouldn't you want to be the billionaire?
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Why wouldn't you want to be the president?
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I wouldn't want I would want to be the person that makes an impact.
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Who cares about making an impact?
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You want to It was exciting and you're learning so much.
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And I think, you know, uh more today if we had more people from opposing sides debating topics, we would learn so much rather than just one-sided message being given to us.
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Yeah, what a great answer, man.
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And you Then you feel and and I'm hearing this from you that it sounds like when you're debating with your friend or we're having these discussions, these debates are uh on when they're on, but then when you're off, you go back to being friends again and there's this mutual respect and understanding and you know, when I I remember being part of my school's debate team and and I I really enjoyed it back then.
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So, I was I was big into it back then, not so much anymore.
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But what I found is that the way we were trained was you could only debate when you knew both sides fully.
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So you couldn't debate just understanding your side.
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Like you had to understand the opposing side.
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So if I was debating with you on this movie versus that movie, I should have had to have watched and analyzed both movies.
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I can't simply argue it on the basis of my knowledge of my uh my you know my motive Powerful. as as you'd call it.
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And I and I just think that I think that's what you're you're raising.
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Like when I'm hearing you, I'm like, "Yeah, what what Patrick's really saying is that healthy debate is needed when when you're able to do it in a mutually respectful way.
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But sometimes the debates we watch today are just so like low boiling and you know then they're not respectful.
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I don't know if that's the right word, but that's the word that's kind of coming to the top of my mind that you know debates are ones where you have complete respect for the person you're speaking to.
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It's not It's not like a rap battle where you're demeaning them, you know?
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It's It's not putting them down because debate isn't about putting the other person down.
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Uh you made By the way, what school was this, Jay?
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What what school did you go to?
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I went to school in London called Queen Elizabeth's Boys School.
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So it was a it was a grammar school.
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It wasn't paid for, but it was uh it was Yeah, it was it was a good school.
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And that's the That's powerful.
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I mean, I love that idea.
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What what you You know, it's interesting.
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You remind me me of something because I I sat down with the Bush family and I sat down with RFK because I'm always curious about the Kennedy family.
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How do you build a legacy like that where so many people And Robert F.
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Kennedy Robert Kennedy Jr.
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the son of Robert Kennedy who was running, he said uh I said, "How was it like being a Kennedy?"
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And he says, "You know, it's crazy.
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Every night uh we had to debate a topic.
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And our dad would sit us down and he would say, 'So what do you think about, you know, fascists?
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What do you think about Germany?
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What do you think about what's going on here with What do you think about this?
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Do you think war is good? Tell me about drugs.
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Why shouldn't we use drugs?'
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I said, 'Your dad would ask you these questions?' He says, 'Yes.'
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He says, 'Because every night at the dinner table he wanted us kids to debate each other.
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And that was a Kennedy thing.
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That was a Kennedy thing.
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I remember one time Arnold told a story saying when he met the John F.
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Kennedy, he asked John F.
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Kennedy, "What's your favorite color?" And John F.
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Kennedy said, "We like red."
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And Arnold's like, "What do you mean?"
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He says, "What is your favorite color?"
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And he says, "We like red."
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"What what I don't understand what this means."
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It's just we are a tight knit of Kennedys and we back each other up, right?
9:59
And on the Bush side, it's the same thing as well.
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The the father all the way to back grandfather Prescott, which is senior's father, similar situation, which is a healthy debate.
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So, you know, when you said the only way you can debate another topic is to sit down and actually uh uh know more about the other side so you have the moral authority to debate a topic.
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I think that is a brilliant point you just made right there.
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And the other part I would say is the following.
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You know how in boxing, if you go under the belt, they take a point away.
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You know, if you go a certain side, what if they had a point system?
10:30
You know how they I don't know if you're a basketball guy if you watch the NBA a lot.
10:36
If you watched the NBA All-Star this year, do you remember the fourth quarter how how great of a fourth quarter was?
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I don't know if you watched the fourth quarter.
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Jay, it was the greatest quarter of basketball I've seen in my lifetime.
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And I've watched a lot of And here's why.
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They changed the guidelines because All-Star always had a black eye because nobody would watch the All-Star game because no one played defense.
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Just like, "Well, you know, you go score and you go score and do whatever you do."
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They changed the format and it was "Here's who gets to 155 first."
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So, it wasn't like who wins by 19 points.
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So, they took the clock off and they said, "Whoever gets to 155 wins."
11:14
All of a sudden, you saw LeBron playing the kind of defense you've never seen before.
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Giannis playing defense you've never seen before. And it changes.
11:20
So, you bring up a good point to know that maybe we needs to we need to change the format of the debates and have a scoring system behind it. I don't know.
11:29
I think there's a way of improving this thing because the way it's going right now, this is not how debates were years ago.
11:34
Today when you look at debates and it's getting uglier and uglier and uglier and it's almost as if everybody feels they need to do that to advance because if they don't then you don't take a shot first and you got to take the shot. So, I don't know.
11:48
If we debate issues, I really like the approach you're taking.
11:51
But for me, I just feel like when it comes down to issues, I I really think we need more debates.
11:58
I do think we need more people that are on both sides that are willing to be open to the other side's decision.
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Hey, here's how I feel the way I do.
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Why do you feel the way you do?
12:05
Like a lot of times when I'm interviewing guys, I'll say, "What brought you to this point?"
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So, I'm interviewing Joe Arpaio who's one of the hated guys in Arizona, sheriff.
12:14
You know, I'm sitting there and I'm like, "How did you become the way you are?
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Why are you such and that?
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Like you want You act like you like being an Why are you this way?
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What happened in your family?"
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And then you go back and you go back and you go back.
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Then he told a story then you're like, "No wonder this makes sense."
12:30
Of course a person like that has to be this way because you went through a moment where you were bullied and you had to almost stand up and it happened so many times that you lost trust in somebody and you felt like this was the only thing.
12:40
So, we have to kind of look at all those things combined together, but it'd be great to go to a different format of debating.
12:45
I think a lot more people would learn more about the topics we're dealing with today.
12:48
This is a fascinating conversation already because I wasn't expecting it to go here at all.
12:52
So, I'm really glad that we've kind of gone down this because I think the point is that for so many of us, we we're actually scared of debate because we see it as a negative thing.
13:01
Like we see debates as like challenging, conflict, you know, full of like and so because we've made debate that way, it's now something that people, you know, hide away from and try and avoid.
13:11
But if we can find a way where we can all start entertaining ideas that we may not accept yet and and processing it, there's a lot of value in that and it's and I'm glad that you've kind of brought that value out of it for us and and kind of pushed that because yeah, it's it's definitely needed more of.
13:28
But, I mean, when you talk about that, where you are now, what what I find interesting is listening to you is and this is how I feel when I watch your videos and and I've been really watching you during the pandemic and I think you've made some incredible points.
13:41
You have this ability where you like to really analyze things and you like to look at it from lots of different perspectives and it's it's kind of like how what you were just saying now, if you watch and I by the way, I'm a huge Rocky fan, too.
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So, if you watch just one fight of the Rocky movie, let's say number three with Mr.
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T and you watch the first fight where Rocky loses and you only see that fight, you now have no context of anything else apart from Rocky just lost.
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And and that's sometimes how we approach life, that if you look at things through just one lens or one snapshot, you don't get the bigger picture.
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And so, I want to ask you, when you were in debt, when you were in that snapshot of your life, what were you analyzing that helped you move out of that position?
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Because I think a lot of people listening or watching right now may be experiencing debt, may be experiencing experiencing financial challenges.
14:35
How did you analyze that situation or did you analyze at all?
14:40
When I was at my lowest point, is that what you're Okay, yeah.
14:42
So, you know, it's a good question because um it is December 31st of 2002, okay?
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I'm in my Ford Focus with a buddy of mine, Tony.
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We're at Laurel Canyon right behind Universal Studios.
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We're listening to Ryan Seacrest do his countdown.
14:59
We're across the street from that In-N-Out, if you know what I'm talking about. There's an In-N-Out.
15:01
I'm parked right across on an uphill like this.
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And we're sitting there and I hear Ryan Seacrest go, "10, 9" on, you know, 102. 7.
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"8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1."
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And typically, I would be in Vegas.
15:17
Typically, I would be in Vegas or party or a a or, you know, it's "Oh my gosh, you know?"
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And then you're dancing, you're doing what you're doing, and it's exciting when it's a new year.
15:27
Jay, it was the first time when New Year happened, and I'm just sitting there.
15:30
I'm I'm not excited about anything.
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It's kind of like, "So what? We're going into 2003. Nothing's changed. Life's the same.
15:37
Why would I be excited about this?
15:42
We just bought an In-N-Out.
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We split it with our hands.
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We bought water and bought the lemon on the side and squeezed it with sweetener to make lemon."
15:49
I'm just sitting there saying, "Let me get this straight.
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You are 23 years old, 24 years old at the time. You have some gifts. You have some talents.
15:58
Your dad's in and out of the hospital.
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Your mom went back to Iran because you ran out of money.
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And you're partying here.
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What do you want to do about this?
16:04
I mean, you have a few choices right now. You're in the $49,000.
16:08
You can go back in the army.
16:10
It's kind of like, you know what? I quit. I'm going back. I was in the army. I got out. It didn't work out.
16:13
I'm going to go back and be a soldier.
16:15
You can go back and work at another gym as a gym salesman, cuz that's what I was doing.
16:21
And then I kind of started looking at everything, and I said, "You know what?
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I went through every single one of my alternatives, and this is the decision I made.
16:28
I said, "I'm either going for everything, or I'm going to lose everything I have."
16:34
And I didn't have anything to lose at the time.
16:35
But I'm not willing to settle for a regular life, cuz it doesn't excite me.
16:39
Uh if these other guys can do it, you know, it's always a statistic.
16:43
When you look at today in America, I was doing a talk, and I was on a tour, and I got up and I asked a simple question.
16:49
I said, "Let me ask you guys a question."
16:50
I said, uh "How many guys would like to one day live in a million-dollar home?"
16:54
And they're all, "We'd love to have a million-dollar home."
16:57
I said, "How many million-dollar homes do you think there are in America?"
16:59
Jay, I wish you would have heard the answers. 2,000. 22,000. 30,000.
17:04
And they're giving me all these numbers.
17:09
I said, "You know there's a million million million-dollar homes in America?" They said, "What?"
17:12
I said, "There's a million million-dollar homes in America."
17:18
So they I would have never guessed there's a million, million-dollar homes.
17:20
I said, let me ask you, how many friends do you have that have walked up uh Mount Everest? And they say, "No one." I said, "Okay.
17:27
So, can we say that climbing Mount Everest is what?
17:29
We can you can say maybe it's impossible.
17:31
Maybe you and I cannot do it. Okay, fine.
17:33
We can make the argument. I'm 62 years old.
17:37
There's no way I can walk up Mount Everest. Fine, that's fine.
17:40
But maybe 80 people have climbed Mount Everest.
17:43
But there's a million, million-dollar homes.
17:45
What's the big deal about it?
17:47
So, it's not a big deal to think it's that that big of a deal.
17:48
I I was talking to an economist from Harvard and I said, "How many people last year" because he was saying the fact that it's so tough in America to become rich.
17:55
I said, "How many people in America last year do you think filed their taxes that they made over a million dollars?
18:02
Last year, how many people filed taxes in 2019 that they netted over a million dollars?"
18:06
And he gives all these small numbers.
18:10
I said, "Over 500,000 people in America last year made That's a lot of people.
18:15
You're not part of a small community by the way."
18:17
It's like, "Hey, I'm one of 500,000."
18:18
Nobody says like, "You're not a big deal if you're part of 500,000, you know?
18:22
You want to be one out of a billion, one in 500,000 that made a million dollars."
18:25
So, when I started breaking down these types of things in my mind and I said, "If these other guys can do it, what is so special about that guy?
18:34
What is so special about her?
18:34
What is so" And I really started questioning and the more closer I got to people that were very successful, I just realized these guys have a higher pain tolerance than I do at the time.
18:44
And I started asking myself, "Do you really want to go through the pain?"
18:48
The moment I started seeing the human side of other people that were winning, I said, "I'm all in.
18:52
I want to be able to go out there and pull it off because I'm willing to put up with the pain that I got to go through and it's just a matter of time."
18:58
And then obviously eventually great things started happening.
19:01
But in that moment, Jay, it's so close to go either direction.
19:03
You can either just I settle, I'm just going to go live a regular life or you're willing to go live that life.
19:08
It's so unique how close everybody is to to each It's If I sit there and I measure it, when people say, "Oh my gosh, Pat, look at your life."
19:18
I'm like, I wish you knew how close I was to go back in the army and do 20 years.
19:23
I would have retired 3 years ago.
19:25
You would have never known who I was.
19:26
It's this close, and most people don't realize that, but it's very close.
19:30
I love that answer, especially when you're talking about the human flaws that everyone has, and that you see that, because I think you're so right that we all can put success or fame or power on this pedestal that we feel like, oh, like I That's not actually real, but you're right, like everyone has their bad habits, their weaknesses, their flaws.
19:50
And I love that you said that was your motivation, because I think I think that's such a refreshing thing.
19:55
I've never heard that before.
19:57
And And the second thing that I loved that you said is is you're so right, like if you were in my shoes at that point, you would realize how close I was, because right now it's easy to look at Patrick Bet-David, you know, the best seller and all the views and all the interviews and be like, "Oh, yeah, yeah, you already had it together."
20:13
And And that's what I'm interested by, like you were saying that you could have gone to the army.
20:18
Did you gain a lot of Do you think you gained a lot of mental discipline for the army?
20:22
Or what was the habits that you did gain from the army that you think really have stood the test of time in who you are today?
20:28
Uh there's no question about it.
20:30
You know, the in in the personality types, you have the S's, the T's, the A's, and the R's.
20:34
The S's are the structured, organized system, strategy.
20:38
They're all about The T's are very analytical.
20:41
They're analyzing everything, data, numbers.
20:43
The A's are, let's go get them, let's go beat these guys, I'm going to take over the world.
20:48
And the R's are all about harmony, relationship, empathy, understanding.
20:53
In that moment of my life, pre-army, I was A, and that's it.
20:55
That's all that was it for me.
20:58
I was an A guy, bodybuilder, you know, I want to be Mr.
21:03
Olympia, partying, women.
21:03
It's the only thing that was a priority for me.
21:05
So, then uh I'm at my sister's place.
21:09
I lost my one of my cars uh uh and I'm at my sister's place. They stole my car.
21:14
I'm at my sister's place. I go to sleep.
21:15
I wake up in the morning uh 4:00 in the morning.
21:18
We got hammered with my friends at her place in Encino and I wake up.
21:23
I have nothing going on for myself.
21:24
I'm working at Burger King at the time.
21:26
I'm going to Glendale Community College.
21:28
I said, "Listen, if I go the way I'm going to right now, nothing's going to happen in my life." I called my dad.
21:32
I said, "Dad, I need you to come pick me up.
21:33
Take me to the recruiting station."
21:34
I went to the recruiting station.
21:36
I said, "I'm making a decision right now because if I don't do it right now, I won't If I even have to think about joining the army, I'll change my mind." I was 18.
21:44
So, I said, "You have to sign me up right now."
21:46
They said, "We can't do it right now."
21:47
I said, "I'm going right now."
21:48
2 weeks later, I was in South Carolina. And I joined the army.
21:49
When I went into the army, Jay, the biggest thing I picked up from the military was the structure and the system.
21:56
Like, literally, the system, the structure, it was a Every day was a routine and you're coming in 4:00 formation, then you're running, then it's chow, then it's formation, then it's going to the motor pool, then you're working on your trucks, then it's chow again, then going back on a motor pool, working on the second trucks, then you're coming back, then it's more training.
22:15
It was so routine and that routine kind of I'm not a routine guy.
22:19
For the longest time, I was not a routine person.
22:20
And then you had to mentally and emotionally be able to take the torture torturing you. You would take words. It was words.
22:26
The drill sergeants, the stuff they would say to you, Jay, to see how tough you are.
22:33
"Hey, tell me about your girlfriend." And you're like, "Home.
22:34
This guy wants to get to know me."
22:35
"What does your girlfriend look like?"
22:37
"Oh, my girlfriend looks like this."
22:38
"Oh, she's hot, ain't she?"
22:39
"Tell me about your best friend."
22:40
"Oh, my best friend, man, he's the best guy in the world." "Oh, really?" "Yeah."
22:44
"You know they're hooking up right now."
22:44
I mean, that kind of stuff.
22:46
You know they're You're like, "What?
22:47
They're together right now."
22:49
"Then wouldn't you love to call them?"
22:50
"Oh, I'm sorry, you don't have access to phones for 2 more months."
22:53
This is the kind of stuff they're telling you.
22:55
Like, who needs to go through this kind of stuff, right?
22:56
But then you can handle that.
22:58
Then when you come out and in the business world, somebody's talking trash or somebody's rejecting you're going back and saying you're not as bad as the drill sergeants games they played.
23:08
So, there was a lot of benefits to probably one of the best decisions I made in my life. Wow, man.
23:13
That Yeah, that's so interesting that I'm still cracking up at that because that's like the worst thing to hear, but it's interesting, right?
23:21
Like that resistance of being pushed to that extreme means then when you're getting the No matter I think we feel scared of this sometimes.
23:28
I feel like right now we always feel scared about what our limits are.
23:32
And I always say to the people that I know and my friends I'm like, you have no idea what your limits are.
23:36
Like if you keep stretching it and we know this because of neuroplasticity and how the brain can be rewired and stretched.
23:42
If you keep stretching it, you just expand your abilities, but we're scared of doing that because we feel we might break, right?
23:51
We feel we we might break and I guess it's having that openness because you had that openness to be stretched or even if you weren't open to it, you still allowed yourself to get stretched and now that's allowing you to deal with a bigger spectrum of of the same challenges and stresses that you see, but I I find like the biggest struggle is in convincing yourself that you're not going to break if you stretch yourself. How do you do that?
24:16
How do you push yourself and know you're not going to break because I think so today we're so much more fragile today because we are fragile because of the trauma we've experienced through our parenting or through our childhood.
24:29
And so, now we we avoid pain.
24:31
And there the whole time you kept saying pain pain pain pain pain, right?
24:36
Like you have to go through that pain.
24:38
So, tell us about how do you go through pain without stopping yourself from breaking, feeling like you're going to break?
24:43
You know, it it's it's funny you say that.
24:45
When it comes on to my kids, I have a I have a couple rules with my kids.
24:49
I have a I have an 8-year-old, a 6-year-old and a 4-year-old, right?
24:51
I've been married 11 years.
24:53
These are the three kids and they're very different.
24:56
My oldest likes vampires, have no clue why.
24:58
The middle one looks like a Middle Eastern Bo Jackson.
25:01
You look at his butt is like this.
25:03
He's got calves bigger than mine. He's got muscles.
25:05
I mean, it's everybody likes the middle one.
25:09
He'll come to the office and during the pandemic he was here every day for 12 weeks and they were, you know, making 102 shots a day.
25:14
They were supposed to read 20 books, 20 pages a day and they would watch a documentary every single day with me during the pandemic at the office.
25:21
And then this was a routine.
25:23
Every day they would do this.
25:25
The middle one would come to the office and Jay, he'd go sit in people's offices and he would say, "I don't know if you know or not, my dad's your boss."
25:31
I'm like, "You can't say that kind of stuff to people, Dylan."
25:35
And he's kidding with them. That's how he is. He's so witty.
25:37
And he would say, "So, what do you do?"
25:39
He says, "I do customer service.
25:40
Can I make some of the calls?
25:42
You want to make You want to let me?
25:43
Can I talk to the customer?"
25:44
He takes the phone and talks to customers at 6 years old.
25:46
Then the 4-year-old is a smack talker.
25:48
She's a whole different story, right, how she is.
25:53
But there's a few things I talk to these guys about.
25:54
I say, "We lead, we respect, we improve, we love as a family."
25:57
These are four things we do.
25:59
When we pray for four things, we pray for courage, wisdom, tolerance, understanding. That's what we pray for.
26:05
But we also talk about bullying.
26:05
I spend a lot of time talking to my kids about bullying.
26:08
A lot of time talking about bullying.
26:10
I tell them, "You're going to be bullied.
26:12
But in life there's two things that the Davids don't do.
26:14
We don't bully and we don't get bullied."
26:18
Now, having said that, many times when you see kids that are growing up, you'll see the younger one end up becoming the peak performer and does a lot of big things in their lives.
26:29
The older one's a little bit more responsible, maybe makes some conservative decisions.
26:33
The younger one pushes the envelope a little bit.
26:35
You know, he's a little bit more reckless than all the other guys. Why?
26:38
Cuz the older one bullied the other guys a little bit, right?
26:42
They pushed him around, they punched him. Why'd you punch him? Why'd you hit him? Give it to him.
26:46
And and and I know this is going to sound weird, especially to your audience, there's a bit of it that we do need.
26:50
I do think we need to be pushed around a little bit.
26:54
I do think we need to be challenged a little bit.
26:55
I do think we need a little bit of resistance.
26:57
I do think we need a little bit of pushback.
27:00
I do think we need it because when that happens to you, you get tested.
27:04
And when I when you're tested, you actually learn a lot about yourself.
27:08
You find that if you have what it takes.
27:10
You find that if you have the goodies.
27:11
When we were first starting the channel Valuetainment, here's what I said to the guys.
27:14
I said, "Look, we're going to find out 52 episodes.
27:16
But within 52 episodes, we're going to find out if there's an audience for this or not.
27:20
If there's not, I don't want to use the resources.
27:23
I'm going to go back to doing what I'm doing.
27:24
Here was 52 or 104 episodes. 2 years I went.
27:26
And I said, "2 years later we'll make a decision."
27:28
I said, "Okay, there is an audience.
27:30
Let's see what we can do with this." And then we built on it. Podcast, same thing.
27:32
Let's see if cuz some people can do good long-form interviews, but they're not good for podcasts.
27:38
Some people do good short motivational videos and it goes viral, but their content on vlog is not that good.
27:43
People are not entertained.
27:43
You have to find your niche, what you're good at.
27:47
Just because you're good in one thing doesn't mean you're going to be good at everything on blogs, podcasts.
27:51
So, you have to kind of find that out and be honest with yourself.
27:52
To me, it's all about that test.
27:54
You'll sit there and say, "I'm not good at that."
27:55
But here's the scariest part about the question that you asked.
27:58
Here's the scariest part about the question that you asked.
28:03
Jade, there is nothing scarier than uh never experiencing the unknown.
28:06
Let me explain what I mean by the unknown.
28:09
To me, I cannot tell you how scary it is for me if I never find out the potential Patrick.
28:17
Like to live a life without the unknown is just not worth living for me.
28:23
Yeah, I'll sit down with somebody.
28:23
And you know, a lot of people this morning I was doing a conference call with some of my executives and I said, "In the last 19 years I've been in this uh financial business and we have around 15,000 agents right now, nearly a half a million square feet of office space. I'm the majority owner.
28:36
We have raised a lot of money.
28:38
We've done good stuff for ourselves, right?
28:41
And I've mentored a lot of people.
28:41
And I've watched a lot of people, how they are and what drives.
28:44
Everybody's driven by a different thing.
28:46
Some of them are madness, some of them is advancement, some of them is individual, some of them is about, you know, a purpose.
28:51
They want to do something but everyone's different.
28:54
The one line that they a lot of people that never wanted to put up the effort, they would say a line like this.
29:00
They would say, "Pat, let me tell you, if I really wanted to, I'd be the biggest guy in the financial industry." You know that line.
29:05
"If I really wanted to, I'd be the biggest guy on YouTube.
29:09
If I really wanted to, I'd build the biggest podcast.
29:10
If I really wanted to, I'd be the biggest Instagram.
29:13
If I really wanted to, if I really wanted to."
29:15
And it's a form of a cop-out.
29:16
It's a form of a cop-out because let's just say you actually did what you you think you could do.
29:21
Let's say you came you became the biggest podcaster.
29:24
Let's say you became the best in the financial industry.
29:25
Let's say you became the biggest real estate guy.
29:29
Let's say you became what you think if you really wanted to become the biggest. Who benefits from it?
29:33
Who benefits from you becoming the biggest?
29:35
If you have kids, is it fair to say that Trump benefited from the Trump last name? Yes.
29:43
Is it fair to say that Kennedy benefited from the Kennedy last name? Of course.
29:48
Is it fair to say that there's a benefit to Chelsea Clinton for her last name being Clinton?
29:52
Is it fair to say that if you're born in the Duchess family, you want to talk you know, some of these families the the royalty family, you benefit from it. Yes.
30:03
So if you do what you're saying, "If I really wanted to do it, I would really be the biggest in XYZ."
30:06
Who would benefit from it?
30:09
Um your kids, your family, your loved ones.
30:11
Why wouldn't you do it if you know it's going to benefit them?
30:14
Why wouldn't you do it if you know they're going to have a bigger advantage at 18 years old than you do? Why wouldn't you do it?
30:18
So it's not that if you really wanted to, you don't think you can do it.
30:22
So that's really a cop-out way of doing it.
30:24
We've all done this before.
30:25
But the reality is if somebody's watching this, man, I I I just don't recommend.
30:29
I would much rather get in the ring and fight somebody and have an answer by the end.
30:35
And the answer is he beats you. I'm good. I can live with that.
30:40
Then not go in the ring and for the rest of my life think you could have beaten that person.
30:45
Let's get in the ring and hash it out.
30:47
Let's go out there and see if we can build this business.
30:50
Let's go out there and see if I can do this podcast.
30:51
Let's go out there and see because I am not willing to live a life knowing that I could have taken it to a whole different level, but I was too afraid of the risk.
30:58
I'm not willing to do that. That's the unknown.
31:01
So, you got to you got to be willing to accept not experiencing the unknown and I'm just not willing to do it.
31:05
I can fully relate to that, man.
31:06
That is like that is that's the truth.
31:09
It's the simple truth and you're spot on that if you don't explore it, you just never know where it may go.
31:15
And and I think, you know, we can all feel that experience.
31:18
I know I I definitely identify with that in my life.
31:20
I am so grateful for that moment where I decided that I was going to try and do what I do now because it was I was the same exactly what you said.
31:29
When you said like I was this close to settling for normality, security, stability, and safety. I was this close.
31:36
And every time I look back and I'm just like, "Wow, I'm so grateful."
31:41
And and the funny thing is people think you only make that decision once.
31:44
You have to make that decision all the time because there's a new safety net. There's a new stability. There's a new security.
31:50
And even 5 years in, your mind's still trying to get you to settle for that.
31:55
So, it's not that you make the decision once and everything changes.
31:58
You have to remind yourself that you made that decision.
32:00
And one thing I mentioned that one thing I've heard you mention is that you say you visualized your dad's funeral maybe 50,000 times.
32:09
And and I wanted to ask you what purpose does that serve you?
32:11
Like, what is what does that do for you when you do that visualization?
32:14
So, you you have to realize that for when I go through the category of madness, lifestyle, individual, and purpose, and what people are driven by, I talk about people being driven by 20 different things.
32:24
This is having worked with a lot of different people before, I know what I'm driven by.
32:29
I'm in the madness quality, right?
32:32
I'm the guy that's driven by a chip, driven by you can't do this, driven by an opponent, opposition doing something that's never been done before.
32:38
That's my And I didn't know this for the longest time.
32:42
By the way, for the longest time I thought I had issues until I read uh two of these books back here.
32:45
One is called Hypomanic Edge, and the other one is called First-Rate Madness, which is such powerful Neither one of the books did very good, but they're such great I've never heard of them.
32:55
Hypo- Hypomanic Edge talks about the the the the link between craziness and a lot of success, and it talks about all of these people the the upbringing of Bill Clinton, how hypomanic he was, and the the Jacksons, and all these other leaders It's a It's a brilliant book.
33:12
Both of those book I highly recommend it.
33:13
Once I got to a point where I said, "Listen, you hear all these different people speaking. You're not that guy.
33:20
You have nothing in common with Throw when it comes on to style and vision. That's fine. That's not you. You don't have his gift. This is you.
33:27
You are wired this way based on a life that you live, right? Okay.
33:31
So, once I saw that and I brought it back and I saw that what I was driven by what moved me, from there it was about, "Okay, what do you want to do with it now?
33:40
At what level do you want to go with this?
33:41
How high do you want to go with this?
33:43
What levels do you want to take it?
33:44
What you know, how big do you want to scale this?"
33:46
Then I used that as a way to motivate myself to go to the next level.
33:50
So, I think the biggest thing when you think about different people out there and what they want to do is they have to sit down and figure out what drives them.
33:56
Too often like, you know, like you do your videos, right? You've had what? 40 billion views.
34:01
I don't know what the number is.
34:03
You are all You One of your videos got a quarter of a billion views.
34:06
No, like you have one of your videos got a quarter of a billion views.
34:09
I don't know how many people can say they have a video with a quarter billion views. Now, here's the thing.
34:12
I see so many people, Jay, that try to be you. They can't. You're not Jay Shetty. This is Jay's purpose.
34:19
Jay is driven with a certain demeanor that you are so You calm people down.
34:25
Your Your strength is just your your a you're a unify you. You're a synergist.
34:29
You're good with bringing people together. You're calming.
34:32
You're good for the world.
34:34
We need more people like you, right?
34:35
But not everybody's like you.
34:37
So, you'll see a lot of people that will watch you and they'll say, "I'm trying to be like Jay."
34:40
And then they'll watch Tony, "I'm trying to be like Tony."
34:43
And then they'll watch, "I'm trying to be like Ger.
34:44
I'm trying to be like" Once you figure out what moves you and you get clear on that part, the rest is history.
34:49
That's one of the reasons why I wrote this book, Your Next Five Moves, which uh you know, when when I was writing this book and I was working on this, it's an interesting thing on what happened. This is years ago.
34:58
So, I started putting all this content together for this book years ago. One morning I wake up.
35:05
I wake up in the morning and it's 6:00.
35:08
At 6:00, I had a message from my mom.
35:11
Okay, my mom's message was, "I am so disappointed in my son."
35:14
"What happened to my son who loved his mother so much that would call me and tell me how much he loves" You know, the typical guilt trip type of message that moms are supposed to leave sometimes.
35:23
She left that message, right?
35:25
So, I get that message and at 6:00.
35:26
I'm like, "Okay, that's the first message."
35:28
Then I get my text from my girlfriend at the time who says, "I think you love your business more than you love me.
35:34
We have to really reconsider our relationship because if it's going to go this way, I don't see this going anywhere."
35:39
That's my second message, okay?
35:42
Then I just had closed a big deal the week before in email.
35:44
The client sends me an email saying, "I found another policy that's going to give me better returns than yours.
35:50
I signed with New York Life yesterday.
35:53
I'm canceling the policy with you."
35:54
I was This is a time I didn't have money.
35:57
I'm relying on this policy. Cancel.
35:59
Then my number one agent leaves me to New York Life at that time.
36:04
And I'm sitting there saying, "What" And at this point, Jay, it's 6:07.
36:09
For 7 minutes of the day, I have an issue with my mom, have an issue with my girlfriend, have an issue with my client, and I have an issue with my number one sales guy.
36:16
I'm sitting there in bed and here's what I'm processing. What do I do next?
36:18
So, first thing I thought about, okay?
36:21
So, you're you're going through and you're thinking, okay, do I call my mom first to make her feel good? Do I send her roses? Do I call my assistant? Do I call my girl?
36:29
Do I talk to her and say, "Come over to the house. Let's try to rekindle. You mean a lot to me."
36:32
Do I really want to do that?
36:34
Am I really going to compromise my career?
36:35
Why would I say that to her knowing that I'm going to have to choose my dreams over her and she doesn't buy into me?
36:39
But I love her, but what if I drop and she's so beautiful?
36:42
What are my friends going to say about me?
36:43
When I go to the clubs every What if my You're thinking all these thoughts.
36:47
What am I Do I call my sales guy? Do I call the client?
36:48
You think about all That moment, here's what I said.
36:51
This is what I thought about that moment.
36:52
You can have 10 different people experience the same exact situation and they're going to handle it in a different way.
36:59
All I wanted to know was, what is the right next five moves in the right sequence to make, right?
37:09
LeBron James and his partner, uh buddy Maverick Carter, they just got a funding of $100 million to start their own black media company called GreenHill, right? Big deal.
37:19
Congratulations to them, right?
37:21
So, you look at this LeBron James guy.
37:23
People think he's just a basketball player.
37:24
The guy is as methodical as they come, right?
37:26
So, he's in high school on the cover of Sports Illustrated, goes in the NBA, everybody's expecting him to be great. He does more than that.
37:32
So, he says, "I'm first going to be a great basketball player."
37:35
cuz he's studying everybody.
37:36
He's studying, "I'm going to take a play out of Jordan's playbook.
37:38
Go become the greatest by a basketball team.
37:42
I'm going to take a page out of Kobe.
37:43
I'm going to take a page out of I know this one's going to sound strange, Trump, because of social media and Apprentice and all that stuff." He puts it together.
37:49
He becomes one of the greatest in basketball, so that was his industry.
37:53
Number two, he goes out there and uses his market to make money, which he's made God knows how much money.
37:57
Then he starts a media company while he's playing at a peak of a time like this with what's going on around the world, perfect timing.
38:05
Then he's going to retire from basketball after playing with his son on the same team, Bronny, which is going to happen.
38:09
He'll be the first to do it.
38:11
Then he's going to own a basketball team.
38:12
What is LeBron's aspirations long-term?
38:14
Is he trying to run for office one day?
38:16
What's he setting up for? What is this?
38:17
He's not just a basketball guy.
38:18
Is he trying And when I'm studying that, I see brilliance, right?
38:22
When you think about Amazon just bought Zoox yesterday, a self-driving company for $1. 2 billion. What are you doing?
38:28
What did Amazon do buying Whole Foods just 4 years ago?
38:31
What are you doing buying Whole Foods?
38:32
What did Amazon do buying this company?
38:34
And you saw then Elon Musk tweeted out saying he's just a copycat. What are they doing? What are their strength?
38:39
Then you realize it's all about your next five moves.
38:44
So, in the game of chess, a grandmaster is somebody that knows their next 10 or 15 moves, right?
38:48
A master knows their 10 moves, a pro knows five to six moves, an amateur knows their next one to three moves.
38:55
The whole if you play chess, you kind of here's what I'm going to be doing.
38:58
Some of the guys know seven moves, they beat you.
39:01
The whole purpose of life to me is whether it's marriage, whether it's having kids.
39:05
You get people that come and say, "I want to get married."
39:07
Why do you want to get married?
39:08
What's the purpose of getting married?
39:09
Why do you want to even I want to have kids.
39:11
Why do you want to have kids?
39:12
Is it because everybody's doing it?
39:13
I want to become a millionaire.
39:13
Why do you want to So, when you go through the process and put it down and you put the right 15 steps in place, that's the right 15 steps, then eventually you get to go exactly where you want to go to.
39:23
And that's one of the reasons why I wrote this book, Your Next Five Moves, because most people have the right intentions.
39:29
Most people have the right vision.
39:30
Most people are thinking big.
39:32
There's not a lot of people Most people do think big.
39:33
They but they don't know what they need to be doing in the next five, 10, 15 steps.
39:39
And once they figure that part out, the rest is history. Yeah, I know. I love that, man.
39:41
And and and I'm I I absolutely love analyzing strategy and methodology methodology and all those people you just picked out.
39:50
It's it's fascinating to watch, but I like the way that you break it down into the next five moves because I think like you're saying, for anyone, their their next five moves may not even be building the next big thing.
40:00
Their next five moves is just getting off their couch.
40:02
Someone someone And that's why I love love the theory in the book because it's so practical because it's like, "Hey, whether you're sitting on your couch or whether you already have a million-dollar business or whether you just just rejected from a girl that doesn't like you anymore." whatever it is.
40:18
It's like we all need to know what our next five moves are, right? It applies to everyone.
40:21
And and I love that you start with the principle of master knowing yourself as move number one.
40:25
And and my question to you is let's let's dive into some of these because I think it's fun to break them down so people can get an idea of what's in the book.
40:34
But tell me, what is the sign when someone can say, "I feel I know myself."
40:40
versus "I don't know myself."
40:40
How does someone come to that decision of being able to say, "Yeah, I think I know myself right now enough to make this first move."
40:47
It's It's actually learning what you don't what you can't do and what's not you.
40:51
You know, for me it's what's not you.
40:53
Like when you want to get married like I was dating three girls in 9 years and each of them was like a two three year relation.
41:00
These are serious relationships. Patrick. Not at the same time.
41:02
No, not at the same time.
41:04
That was 21 years old, but not not at 20 or 29.
41:05
So, I'm dating these girls and at the end of it one day, Jay, I'm so furious because I'm like, "Oh my gosh, look at all these girls. They're all the same.
41:15
Same upbringing, same issues.
41:17
It's the same challenge with everybody I'm dating."
41:21
And then I sat there and I'm like, "Well, is it the girl or is it the way you're presenting yourself? What is it? What what is it?
41:27
What What are you looking forward to being?
41:28
Do you want to be a husband or do you want to be a daddy? What do you want to be?
41:31
What are you really solving for?
41:32
So, I made a list and uh one of my assistants, her name was Patty, changed my life.
41:36
She said, "I said, 'Listen, Patty, I've made a decision.
41:41
I was 20 and I said, "I'm never getting married. I enjoy my own company.
41:43
I like going to movies by myself. I have a lot of friends. I'm good. I'm happy.
41:46
I don't need to get married. I'm fine."
41:48
She says, "Listen, before you decide to not get married, go read this book."
41:52
I said, "What's the book?"
41:53
She said, "I heard it on the radio today.
41:55
I've never read it, but I thought about you."
41:58
I said, "What's the book's name?"
41:58
She says, "101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged."
42:01
I said, "101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged." So, I go buy the book.
42:05
It's by a man named Norman Wright. It comes in.
42:06
I start going through every single question together by myself.
42:09
I'm like, "Okay, it's pretty interesting.
42:11
I thought I was looking for this, but I have no interest in this. I'm looking for this."
42:17
But for the longest time this was a priority.
42:19
And one of the things is non-negotiables of what you don't want.
42:25
Once I figured out what I didn't want, it was a lot easier to go date and and you know what to say no to and what to say yes to.
42:32
It became so much easier.
42:34
From the moment I got clear on who I wanted to marry and what things I needed to improve in, I read the book, a year later I found my wife, and then we got married.
42:43
I mean, it's so funny how this thing worked out when I got clear.
42:45
So now, who do you want to be, right?
42:46
When you talk about who do you want to you know, master knowing yourself.
42:52
There's a lot of different routes in life.
42:53
One of the best things that a friend of mine told me, a mentor of mine, his name is Tom.
42:56
He was a former president at PHP for 3 years.
42:57
Tom used to be with Jam Dat.
43:00
They sold their company to EA Sports for $680 million in '04.
43:05
And he was the number six guy, the number six guy, Jay, okay?
43:07
But he still got a fat check, right?
43:10
And one day he sat me down and told me the most powerful thing.
43:13
He says, "Pat, here's what I've learned."
43:15
He was 48, 49 when he told me this.
43:19
He said, "I founded four companies as a founder and the CEO.
43:21
I made nothing off any one of these companies.
43:25
Anytime I was number two or number six, I made millions.
43:30
Anytime I was number one, I didn't do well."
43:32
He says, "It took me 49 years to realize I'm not a number one."
43:37
Do you realize how powerful of a statement that is to make?
43:38
Because everybody's trying to be what? A number one.
43:42
Jordan was a great number two.
43:42
You know, Jordan was a great number one.
43:46
Pippen was a great number two. LeBron's a number one.
43:47
You know, you have to look at everybody.
43:49
And then sometimes you may be a number one at a phase of your life, but at 58 maybe you are better being a number two.
43:55
Or maybe at 28 you're better at being a number two.
43:58
And maybe at 39 you're a good number one.
44:00
So you kind of have to go through these phases.
44:01
That is part of understanding and knowing yourself.
44:03
So once you know and say, "You know what?
44:07
I don't care to build a billion-dollar company cuz it's not me. I'm just not a founder.
44:11
I'm somebody that wants to go this route.
44:13
I'm somebody that wants to go this route. Great.
44:15
Entrepreneur, intrapreneur, salesperson, solopreneur.
44:19
But the biggest thing is to go through the question.
44:21
I have a set of questions that I went through years ago, and I put 28 of them in the book here to find out exactly who you are, to find out like questions such as, "Okay, Jay, who do you get along with?"
44:30
And you write down, "These are the people I get along with."
44:33
Then you write down, "Who do you not get along with?"
44:34
You know, "What kind of a question is that?"
44:35
"Well, why don't you get along with those types of people?"
44:38
Then you say, "You know, I don't get along with those three guys because they're just like me."
44:41
Well, maybe you got to kind of like yourself.
44:43
You got some things you got to like about yourself.
44:44
So, when you go through that part, then comes the second step.
44:48
So, number one is master knowing yourself. Yeah. I love that, man. That's a great answer.
44:52
a great answer. I I think that example of when you're a one or a two or a six, that's that's kind of currently one of the biggest challenges we have in the world because, as we know, social media, entrepreneurship, the conversation
45:05
that's happening in business, the availability of seeing the big business deals that are happening, unfortunately, you know, we see this all the time in society, and I think it's it's been out there like whatever's rewarded, we end up repeating. And so, we we go where the reward is
45:18
And so, we we go where the reward is rather than thinking about what's going to be a reward for me, right?
45:21
What's going to help me get there?
45:23
And so, I think that's a that's a brilliant answer.
45:26
I'm really glad you made that distinction, and I'm glad that there's questions in here as well because I think people need to start asking the right questions in order to get there, and that's really the step of self-awareness. Tell me about this one.
45:38
Move number three, I'm skipping because move number two we kind of talked to the beginning.
45:42
By the way, for everyone who doesn't know, move number two in the book is mastering the ability to reason.
45:47
We were speaking about that that earlier.
45:48
But mastering building the right team, I'm asking you this as a personal question, actually, because as I've been growing my team and my company and my world, I'm realizing that the biggest skill that I personally need to work on is how to hire. Like how to recruit.
46:06
And I'm realizing that this is something that I need to invest in at this time in my life.
46:11
If someone says to me right now, what's the number one skill you need to improve?
46:14
That's number one skill I need to improve.
46:15
Like I'm aware of it from a professional level.
46:19
So, tell me about building the right team, something that people I feel like it's so hard to figure out whether someone's right for you or not right for you.
46:28
There's so many different approaches.
46:29
I want I mean your approach for for making sure that someone is actually right for the long term.
46:34
So, a specific question here, not just someone who's right for you.
46:37
Someone who's right to become a long-term number two, number three, number four, number five, number six, etc. , etc. , etc. in the company. So, very good question.
46:45
Very, very, very, very good question.
46:48
And I'll kind of give it to you in the way I processed processed it myself.
46:52
So, first things first is it's not just who's right for you, it's who you need next today. Right?
46:58
So, for example, who I needed in in 2005 was different than who I needed in 2008 was different than who I needed in 2010.
47:09
So, for example, I came up I first needed an assistant to help me out with paperwork. So, Yes. an assistant, right?
47:14
Then I needed three assistants because somebody run my calendar, somebody send my cards and gifts to the client, somebody followed up.
47:18
So, it was three assistants.
47:20
So, then I got a person that did all my paperwork and compliance.
47:22
So, that person's a technical person, so they protected my business. Then I got this person.
47:27
So, then as we're growing and we started out of PHP and I'm a sales guy.
47:31
Traditionally, I've never been a CEO before.
47:32
I've never worked under a CEO before.
47:34
I've just been a sales guy.
47:36
I've been a good sales leader and I've made money selling.
47:39
So, when you go from an employee to salesperson to sales leader to starting a company as a founder, this is a whole different language.
47:47
You don't know what you need to be doing here because you've not got I've not I don't have an MBA.
47:50
I don't have a a business degree.
47:52
So, when I became a CEO, Jay, it was it was three four years of anxiety, panic, and worry about making the right the wrong decision, and it was constantly I don't know what to do as a CEO.
48:03
And so, as I was going through this, and I kind of started looking at everything that I was doing, I said, "Okay, I need to figure out what I have to do on a daily basis, myself.
48:12
What I need to do on a daily basis as a CEO."
48:14
I went to a course I took, and I spent four weeks together with 144 other CEOs from 64 different countries, and the guy I teamed up with for four weeks was the founder of the Victoria's Secret of Australia and and South Africa, okay?
48:31
He's worth $900 million at the time.
48:33
He's worth about a billion and a half right now, and for weeks is my partner.
48:36
So, here I am trying to be a CEO. He's in his mid-50s.
48:39
Look what he says to me, Jay.
48:42
And I said, "You know, Bob, I'm trying to be a CEO.
48:43
What are the keys to being a CEO?"
48:45
He says, "Well, he says, "I'm trying to get seven CEOs of mine that are running seven different companies to be CEO."
48:50
So, his challenge was getting his seven CEOs to be CEOs.
48:57
My challenge is I'm trying to be a CEO.
48:59
Look how many levels behind him I am because he went from being a founder to a CEO to giving up his position, then they bought a bunch of different companies.
49:06
Now he's got seven CEOs reporting to him.
49:07
And we started processing through all these different things, and he said, "Look, there's a couple things you got to be thinking about.
49:12
There's a linear, there's exponential.
49:14
There's a lot of things that people do when they start a business that doesn't explode the business.
49:18
It's linear, meaning I need systems.
49:21
So, you fix your systems and your protocols and standard operating procedure.
49:25
It's like, here, first step we do this, second step we do this, third step is this. Okay, fine. And then it's biz dev.
49:30
You go shake hands, collaborate, network, and all this stuff.
49:33
It's fine, it's good, but it's not at the highest level. That's a linear.
49:36
Helps you grow, but it's a linear. It's not exponential.
49:37
Then he said, "At the highest level is exponential is one, the next innovative campaign.
49:43
A next innovative campaign is Jay Shetty coming out with a new show.
49:49
Okay, what is that new show?
49:49
It could be a new series of videos.
49:51
It could be a new podcast.
49:53
It could be a new collaboration.
49:54
It could be Jay debate topic with compassion and you bring two people in LA and they come to your studio and they debate.
50:01
Boom, that's a great idea.
50:02
All of a sudden you got 17 million new followers.
50:04
They love Jay's new show, right?
50:06
That's a next innovative campaign that Jay came up with.
50:09
And the last one is leadership development.
50:11
Leadership development is is two ways of looking at it.
50:13
One is how good you are at building leaders, which that is the pinnacle because if you can take a six and turn them in eight, you're always going to be needed.
50:23
There's a lot of people that don't know how to turn a six into an eight where they have to go just find an eight.
50:26
And they're never going to improve the eight, they just go find an eight, right?
50:30
And the eight stays an eight, won't improve because of you.
50:32
So, one is improving leaders and developing leaders.
50:35
The other one is being able to find the right leaders that want to work with you.
50:38
So, when you want to find the right leaders to work with you, my phrase, Jay, is very simple.
50:41
Everybody I have here that are working for us behind this window, I ask him a question and I say, "So, what do you think about what we do?"
50:52
And all I'm trying to get to is are they true believers in me?
50:55
The smaller I am, the more important it is for you to be a true believer in me.
50:59
And once it's a company, are you a true believer of what we're doing as a company?
51:02
Like right now, we are looking for a new COO and a CEO.
51:07
I'm looking at I'm interviewing a CEO from a Fortune 50 company to replace me.
51:12
This is a man that ran a company that I sent tens of thousands of insurance policies to.
51:16
He's not going to replace my position.
51:19
And one of the biggest challenge we had together was, "Look, you're coming from a Fortune 50 company.
51:23
We're not a Fortune 500 company.
51:25
We're not a Fortune 1000 company.
51:27
How are you going to be from the snobby people in your world to being able to level down and work with these types of people?
51:32
You're going to make the same money.
51:34
That's not going to change, but maybe you're not fit for this."
51:37
So, we were going That was the biggest hiccup for us, by the way.
51:40
So, I had to see if he would be a fit for us.
51:42
And eventually, when I saw people that were true believers in me.
51:45
So, if I hire somebody who says, "Jay, man, I'm such a believer in you. You're awesome. You're amazing.
51:49
I'll do anything for you."
51:50
but capacity is low and talent is low. What's the purpose?
51:54
What am I going to hire you for?
51:54
But if you get somebody that says, "Jay, obviously I love the work you're doing.
52:01
I'm a true believer in the difference you're making.
52:02
I like the values and principles you have in place.
52:05
But if I can be open with you, I can talk to you about a couple things.
52:06
What I can help you in the operations.
52:07
I think what I can do is the following.
52:09
I don't need the limelight.
52:11
I don't need to be on the camera.
52:13
I don't even want to be doing any of that, but behind closed doors, I think you're missing out on an opportunity to make $6 million a year here.
52:19
I think you're missing out on opportunity to turn this thing to a business over here if we come up with this this app and sell it this way and team up with these guys over here.
52:26
If we go to CNN or get a contract with Pepsi or Coca-Cola.
52:29
I can help you do that, but I'm 100% with you.
52:32
So, it's it's identifying the true believers in you around you and identifying who you need exactly next.
52:38
And typically big personalities like yourself and myself, these are personalities operation becomes a challenge.
52:46
The challenge becomes finding the right COO.
52:47
I cannot tell you how much a COO can change your life.
52:54
A COO can change the right COO believes in Jay Shetty can take your business from what you're doing today to being astronomical and they're behind closed doors.
53:03
So, again, that's some of the ways I look at on who I need to hire next. I love that, man. What a great answer.
53:09
Everyone you can hear this Patrick Bet David, your next five moves. Incredible storyteller.
53:13
I could listen to you talk for ages.
53:15
Like look at just just think about it for a moment.
53:17
Everyone who's listening or watching obviously Patrick's a great business person.
53:19
He's a great storyteller. He knows the stats.
53:23
He's analyzing, but he's reflecting.
53:25
It's not just You're not just repeating stuff. This is his reflection.
53:26
It's his You can hear the process in his mind.
53:30
That's what you're going to get inside this book.
53:31
So, your next five moves must be out of business strategy.
53:34
If you're struggling, you're like, "What do I do next?"
53:37
Here it is, your next five moves.
53:38
Right not just the next one.
53:38
So, go and grab a copy of this book.
53:40
Patrick, I want to end with two segments on the podcast that we do.
53:44
You're going to be great at this.
53:46
They're the rapid fire segments.
53:46
So, we have the fill in the blanks and the fast five.
53:49
We're going to start with fill in the blanks first.
53:51
So, you just got to fill in the blanks at the end of the sentence. Sure. Okay.
53:54
The challenge with big massive success is staying humble. Nice. I love that answer. Okay.
54:01
The game of entrepreneurship is never about you.
54:09
Being the best version of yourself means constantly beating your prior best.
54:17
Shocking your business involves recreating yourself. Nice.
54:22
The biggest mistake people make in business is thinking it's all about them. Nice.
54:30
I love all all of your answers that talk about humility and getting out the ego. So, that's great. Okay.
54:37
These are your fast fives.
54:37
These are questions that the answer has to be one word or one sentence maximum. Okay.
54:45
Oh, I've got so many for you. All right.
54:47
Um I've got so many questions I want to ask you.
54:49
Oh, this is this is what I want to ask you because I want everyone to go and watch this video.
54:51
I believe every creator has a video that they make where they think that they have put their best message and their best insight.
54:58
But for whatever reason, people are not watching that video.
55:01
What is that video for you, Patrick? Oh my gosh.
55:04
We we did a video We did a video about you know, how nobody nobody pays attention to certain people and they've been rejected.
55:13
It's not even the life of an entrepreneur.
55:15
It's another one that we did.
55:16
And I thought this one was for sure going to blow up.
55:20
It got 40,000 views in a week.
55:20
We're like, are you kidding me with this video? So, What's it called? Tell us. Tell us.
55:26
I want everyone to go and watch it.
55:28
What's Yeah, you know what?
55:28
Let me let me I can it's it's two of them.
55:29
One of them is sleep, sweat, grind, repeat.
55:34
I thought for a fact sleep, sweat, grind, repeat.
55:36
If you just type in sleep, sweat, grind, repeat, it's 101,000 views, but in 1 year, you know 101,000 views on a platform with 2.
55:43
4 million subs is not viral or anything of success. But you know what? It's my favorite video. That's good.
55:50
That's what I wanted to know. That's really good.
55:53
favorite video that didn't do anything. Didn't do nothing. love that. I love that.
55:56
And please, everyone who's listening or watching this podcast, please go and watch that video because that's the one that Patrick Patrick put his heart into.
56:01
And and I can relate to that.
56:03
I've got I've got tons of those videos as well. So, awesome.
56:06
Okay, now we'll get into the fast five cuz I wanted to ask that question. Okay.
56:11
Uh if you had to start all over again from ground zero, what would be your first five moves? Uh great question.
56:16
Number one, identify one industry that can bring you out your talents.
56:21
Number one, identify your industry that can bring you out your talents.
56:24
I'm a numbers guy, so what is it that you see that you can go and bring out talent.
56:27
Number two, find out who's the best in that industry and identify working for the best guy.
56:34
So, sometimes you cuz like let's just say if I'm a real estate guy, I want to go into real estate. I'm in LA.
56:36
Who's the best realtor in LA?
56:38
I want to go work for that guy.
56:40
But if I can't go for that guy, I put a top five list and I'll go work for them. That's number two.
56:45
Number three is I work for that person and I do anything I can to help this person advance.
56:51
So, if their goal is to get to 10 million year, I'm going to do my part.
56:54
If you want to get to 100 million, I'm going to do my If you want to get to a billion, I want to do my part.
56:57
The fourth thing is to replace you or ask you for equity in the company.
57:03
So, if I've paid the price and I'm working for Jay Shetty and Jay said, "Pat, I want to be able to take the business to 50 million year."
57:07
I help you get to 50 million, I want to say, "Jay, I've gotten you 50 million.
57:11
Can I be your CEO and you be the chairman of the board?"
57:14
And I want to get 4% of the company.
57:15
I want to get 2% of the company.
57:17
And if Jay says no or whoever that person is says no, then go start your own company.
57:21
But the last thing is to become an entrepreneur.
57:24
There are other ways to make your millions and billions before becoming an entrepreneur. That's the last step. Great advice, man. All right, awesome.
57:32
What uh This is one of my favorite questions asked.
57:34
What's something that you know to be true about business, but a lot of people would disagree with you on?
57:40
It's a It's an ugly world. Very ugly. Uh very ugly.
57:43
I know it's not what people want to hear.
57:45
It's not the whole let's hold hands kumbaya behind closed People in front of you will tell you, "Oh, we can't wait for you to blow up.
57:51
I support your business."
57:53
All this stuff, but you know, if it has to come between them getting the client and you getting the client, you better believe they're going to do whatever they can to get the client.
58:01
So, you cannot be I was a kid that grew up naive.
58:03
I didn't play in the streets for 10 years in Iran cuz my dad didn't trust me.
58:07
I went to Germany out of refugee camp, J.
58:09
I experienced betrayal at 11 years old and I said, "Wow, I had no idea what the word betrayal meant until I just experienced it."
58:18
But, that kind of gave me ideas saying, "Okay, in the business world, how is it different?" It's the same.
58:23
How different is it in military? Okay, got a little bit. How different is it?
58:26
So, you have to understand that you cannot be naive in business.
58:28
If you stay small, it's fine cuz you're no threat to anybody.
58:32
But, if you choose to want to compete and ruffle feathers, you better believe you're going to piss some people off. Absolutely, man. Well said. Well said.
58:40
All right, if you could create a law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?
58:44
Everyone in the world had to follow? Yeah.
58:47
Uh if I had to create a law that everybody in the world had to follow, say if I'm a president of United the United States.
58:54
At least the United States.
58:56
Yeah, if I'm a president of United States, what would I do every single month?
58:59
Here's what I would do every single month.
59:00
Every single month, I would have a set of books that every everybody would need to read and submit their paper and I'd put a scholarship behind it and I would go specifically on educating people on the concepts of money and mindset because for whatever reason we're not doing that and it's not a tough thing to do.
59:19
I I I can't think of the last time a president recommended a book to read from stage.
59:26
You know, I just think education and not education from a school standpoint, education from the standpoint of you reading a set of books.
59:31
There'd be a monthly book club if I was a president. That'd be for sure. I love that.
59:36
The president's book club would be the Can you imagine that? Imagine that.
59:41
It would be a I mean, I I makes perfect sense.
59:43
It's a great It's a great idea.
59:45
Imagine what kind of community that would build. It'd be really cool. I love that, man. That's it.
59:49
We've never had that answer before. Not even close.
59:50
That is by far the most unique answer we've ever had today. All right.
59:54
Two last questions for you.
59:56
What's the best thing that money can buy?
59:59
Uh I'll give you a story.
59:59
So, I'm My wife and I are going to Dubai.
1:00:01
We're taking 100 of our guys.
1:00:05
And when we go to the airport to go to Dubai, the flight attendant says from Air France, "You can't go." I said, "Why not?"
1:00:10
I said, "I'm a US citizen now."
1:00:12
She says, "No, you can't go because your passport expires in 5 months.
1:00:14
And France wants it to be more than 6 months."
1:00:18
I said, "You got to be kidding me. It doesn't expire."
1:00:20
She says, "Well, this is what it is."
1:00:21
So, my wife goes and I said, "Babe, you go.
1:00:24
I want to go to the federal building. I'll fix it.
1:00:26
I'll be there in 2 days." So, she goes. She's with good friends. I trust her.
1:00:29
I go back and I come to the house and my nanny's with our two kids at the time.
1:00:35
And we were getting ready to move to Texas.
1:00:37
And I said, "Hey, Melva, so we're going to go to Texas.
1:00:39
What's your biggest Daddy, I can't go."
1:00:40
I said, "I heard you told Mommy you can't You told me you can't go 2 years ago.
1:00:43
You just changed your mind." "Daddy, I can't go."
1:00:44
"Melva, why can't you go?"
1:00:46
By the way, she's the most amazing nanny.
1:00:48
She's not even We feel uncomfortable calling her nanny.
1:00:51
She's like a grandma to our kids.
1:00:51
She's been in our lives for 11 years.
1:00:55
She says, "Daddy, I can't go because I got six grandkids in LA."
1:00:56
I said, "Melva, question for you." She said, "What?"
1:01:00
I said, "What if I fly you back to LA every month for 5 days and you come to Dallas. You live with us.
1:01:07
I get you a nice master bedroom.
1:01:07
You get your own shower in the corner, privacy, car, everything.
1:01:13
And I fly you back to LA 5 days a week. 5 days a month.
1:01:15
Would you be willing to go to Dallas?"
1:01:16
She says, "You would fly me" I said, "Yes."
1:01:19
She says, "I'm going to Dallas." I said, "Perfect."
1:01:21
So, when I got on the flight and went to Dubai, I said, "Baby, I got some news for you." Cuz she was down. She was worried.
1:01:25
I said, "Melba has agreed to go to Dallas."
1:01:29
So, when you say money, you know, you get to do certain things like that.
1:01:32
It's not the cars, the travel.
1:01:34
It's to be able to make certain decisions that help some people out and also helps your family out as well.
1:01:38
So, I would say that's what it would be.
1:01:41
That's a beautiful answer, man.
1:01:41
Thank you for not giving a This is This is what I really appreciate about you and I appreciate about you even more today.
1:01:47
It's like there's no shallow answers, you know, no quick answers. No.
1:01:49
She's really thoughtful, really really special, man.
1:01:52
I I I appreciate you for that. Thank you.
1:01:55
Uh fifth and final question, what was your biggest lesson from the last 12 months? Good one.
1:01:59
So, last 12 months, when the pandemic came up, we were getting ready to go through uh uh uh we had our company valuation.
1:02:05
Everything was going on and I'm getting ready to hire a CEO and I'm in LA at Beverly Hills Hilton.
1:02:11
We're having our board meeting with De La Hoya.
1:02:12
Everybody's getting ready to fly in and it's the day NBA canceled because Gobert and some of those guys got coronavirus.
1:02:20
And NHL canceled and then Disney closed.
1:02:22
Everybody closed and I'm with my wife and my three kids and my nanny.
1:02:26
And my board calls me and they said, "We're not coming to LA."
1:02:28
I think it's like February 12th or some number like that.
1:02:31
So, I said, "They're not coming to LA." March 13th.
1:02:32
March 13th or March 12th.
1:02:32
I said, "What do you mean you're not coming to LA?"
1:02:36
"Well, because of corona."
1:02:37
I said, "You You mean to tell me one person has died and you don't" "Yes." I said, "Oh my gosh."
1:02:42
So, I sat there and I talked to my board for an hour and they said, "Pat, this is serious.
1:02:45
This is going to affect the economy."
1:02:48
And we were scheduled to stay in LA for 5 days.
1:02:50
I said, "Baby, we got to go back."
1:02:51
We stayed in LA for 23 hours. We flew back to LA.
1:02:53
Jay, I have no idea what's going to happen. Here's why.
1:02:58
100% of all the insurance policies and annuities we sell is face-to-face.
1:03:03
It's at your house at the kitchen table.
1:03:06
And And now, I can't do my sales meetings.
1:03:09
I can't do sales training.
1:03:09
I can't come to your house.
1:03:11
You're worried about sitting down with me.
1:03:14
You don't even want to shake my hand.
1:03:14
I have I mean, this is a very awkward situation and we're we're about to go through a transaction and I'm sitting there saying, "Oh my gosh, what the heck is going to happen here?"
1:03:25
And I said, "Listen, all I know is I got to go and do my research."
1:03:27
So, I came back, I dropped off the kids that at the house.
1:03:30
I made sure my dad was good cuz he's 79 78 at the time. My mom was good, 75. Everybody's good.
1:03:34
I came to the office one night.
1:03:36
I was here for 16 hours straight on a weekend and I studied every single thing about how the market has reacted to a pandemic.
1:03:44
3 months later, 6 months later, 12 months later.
1:03:50
So, I come in and I'm like, "Okay, we're going to lose a lot of money." I call my investors.
1:03:54
I said, "What are you guys expecting for us to lose the next 60 days?"
1:03:57
He says, "Well, the investors are assuming you're going to lose 40%." 40%? Okay.
1:04:01
So, in my mind, I know when I'm doing my next board call, they're going to be okay with the numbers being 40% less cuz they just said it. It's normal.
1:04:09
It's going to happen cuz it's face-to-face sale.
1:04:12
Once I did the research on the pandemic and I know I'm giving you the longer answer here, but there's a a reason why this is going this place.
1:04:16
I look at the data and I see out of the last 10 pandemics we've had the last 50 years, only one of them the market was down 12 months later and it was AIDS.
1:04:27
Everything else, every pandemic, 6 months later, 12 months later, they all 100% recovered.
1:04:33
Meaning if the Dow was at 10, it went down to seven, it came back to 10, right?
1:04:40
So, I saw this and I said, "There's a 90% chance based on the data that the market's going to recover within 12 months."
1:04:45
I didn't sell a single stock.
1:04:48
Every time the market went down, I just bought more.
1:04:49
Every time the market I I bought more.
1:04:51
18,000 I bought more, right?
1:04:53
Immediately, I called everybody, all my carriers, everybody.
1:04:56
I said, "Guys, we got to figure out a way for us to be able to sell through Zoom."
1:04:58
Cuz if I can sell through Zoom, we have a problem here.
1:05:02
You're going to take a hit.
1:05:03
Then we have to get insurance carriers to not take payments from clients.
1:05:06
Meaning if I can't make a payment for 4 months, you got to forgive them. 100% they forgave them.
1:05:09
And 100% of them converted everything to sell where I can talk to you right now, I can get you on a share and uh have you sell the policy and sign it. It was all squared away.
1:05:20
Once we did that, Jay, we went from selling 4,000 policies in the month of January and February, last month, in the month of May, we sold 10,968 policies.
1:05:31
It was our biggest revenue month ever, biggest profit month ever, biggest EBITDA month ever, biggest commission month ever.
1:05:37
And this month we had the most people ever make $100,000 in a month in the month of June.
1:05:41
We've never had this before.
1:05:42
So, I tell you, I went 4 months straight during the pandemic.
1:05:47
There's only 3 days that I didn't come to the office, 3 Sundays that I didn't come to the office.
1:05:51
Every other day I was at the office.
1:05:52
And I had no idea what was going to happen.
1:05:54
We were ready to be prepared that a lot of it was going to shift.
1:05:57
But the best thing that came out of it, today, 90% of all the policies we sell is through Zoom. Wow. 90%.
1:06:04
So, this crisis changed the entire business model.
1:06:08
And it's fascinating what we're doing today with the with the insurance company.
1:06:12
So, ex- But I tell you, I sound excited today.
1:06:14
I guarantee you, if you were to talk to me 4 months ago, it was an act.
1:06:18
I had to figure out a way to stay poised. I get it, man.
1:06:21
Congratulations, by the way.
1:06:23
That's a That's a great story of a greatness that's come out of this time.
1:06:27
So, that's an incredible story, man.
1:06:29
Thank you for sharing it in depth. Yeah, huge congrats.
1:06:30
I mean, that's not easy to do at all.
1:06:32
And right now, so many people are panicking, especially like you're saying, your business is 100% face-to-face.
1:06:38
My mom's a financial advisor, so I know what what the work's like.
1:06:42
Uh she just so works for herself. She's a solopreneur.
1:06:44
But, you know, it's Yeah, I can It's It's a tough industry to be in, especially this time. So, congrats, man. That's amazing. Thank you.
1:06:51
Thank you so much for watching that video.
1:06:53
If you enjoyed it, here's another one I think you'll love.
1:06:58
You should always take action a little bit before you were ready.
1:07:02
Several months before you're ready, go ahead and do it. Try it.
1:07:03
Because you're going to rise to the occasion.