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I thought people were I thought Ben Stiller was overdoing it. But this actually sucks.
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Hey, what's going on everybody?
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From First We Feast, I'm Sean Evans and you're watching Hot Ones.
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It's the show with hot questions and even hotter wings.
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And today we're joined by Stavros Halkias.
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He's a stand-up comedian who can catch live on the Dreamboat tour coming to a city near you.
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Keep up with him weekly on Stavvy's World wherever you get your podcast.
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And he also stars and co-wrote what is in my opinion one of the funniest comedies of the year.
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It's called Let's Start a Cult, which is available on demand now.
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Stavvy, welcome to the show. Oh yeah, dude. Thanks for having me.
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What's going through your head as you prepare to take on the Hot Ones gauntlet?
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Do you feel prepared for the meal in front of you?
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Brother, I'm the most prepared guest you've ever had in your life, dude.
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There's no one who's done this show that has had more wings than me. I am positive of that.
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No dis Ariana Grande hasn't had more wings than me.
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Yeah, you know what I mean?
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I'm ready to go about that.
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Here's what I've also done. I brought my own ranch.
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I went to a place right by my apartment and got uh 14 ranches.
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Um They also made me purchase an arugula salad with it, but I got ranches.
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I will have one bite and then I will have a ranch bite.
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You'll have a ranch chaser. That's better than milk.
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Ranch is better than milk in my in my you know, estimation here. So Come on, bro. I've seen the show. Mhm. Hell yeah, dude.
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Señor Lechuga makes a nice [ __ ] sauce.
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This is [ __ ] up though.
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This is hotter than the first one should be. What the [ __ ] is this? This is number one?
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Where's the [ __ ] buffalo one, dude? That is good.
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So, I guess I'll start by just kind of checking Even your [ __ ] eyes are watering.
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This is What are you doing? I I HAVE A LOT of miles.
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You know, this pedometer You're right. You're right.
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It's picked up a lot of miles over the years.
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You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
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What is the next stop on your journey to getting ripped?
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Like, do you have specific fitness goals? Thank you.
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Yes, I have a YouTube series called Stahvi gets ripped, which is the only health and fitness series where you can watch a man get fatter over 3 years.
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So, every year of being a touring stand-up comedian has been worse for my body.
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Everything fun, you just have access to non-stop.
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3 years ago, I was like, "This is the This is the year I turn it all around."
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And every year since then, I have also said that, but it's going to [ __ ] stick this time.
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This time is happening, so yeah, we got Stahvi gets ripped season 2, folks. Check it out. Mhm. Hell yes.
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I'm the type of guy, like I said, who's ordered wings at literally every restaurant that has them on the menu.
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So, this I recognize from getting Thai takeout and being like, "Hey, what are their [ __ ] wings like?"
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And that's This is bringing me back.
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I've eaten this with a drunken noodles many times.
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Let me get a little ranch in here. Yeah.
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What's the most bizarre venue you've ever performed comedy in?
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You know, from interviewing stand-ups over the years, I've heard horror stories about everything from boxing rings to laundromats. Yes.
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Um I had a family friend who had a who owned a seafood restaurant, and he was like, "Hey, dude, you should come."
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I was looking for a place to do my own open mic.
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And he was like, "Dude, it'll be perfect. Like, we'll set it up. We'll have a stage. We'll have lights.
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We'll have a microphone."
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I was very specific on the stuff we needed.
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And I got there, and it was just a sports bar in the round, nowhere to stand.
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Uh just TVs going, and some guy hands me a wireless microphone and I just had to like walk around like I had booked like 10 comics.
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And so we were all just taking turns harassing people trying to watch a Ravens game and eat crab cakes and we're like, oh, nice shirt you [ __ ] idiot. You know what I mean?
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Like and then one of the comedians had beef with another one of the comedians.
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That's That's This is the thing about stand-up comedy.
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Anyone can do like it's there is no barrier to entry.
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It's like a any anyone will do it and a guy who I don't know his real name.
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We called him Ice Pick Rick.
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It was a crab restaurant and he stabbed another comedian with a crab shell and so that was kind of the end of that show but in a fitting nickname for sure. Yeah, yeah.
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Shout out to Jimmy Seafood in Dundalk.
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Yeah, this is more like what number one should have been like. You know what I mean?
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And I didn't steer you wrong.
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I told you you know that first one puts you on your heels a little bit. You're right.
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Sorry, I got I got ranch on your table smelling salts of the show. You know? yes, yes, yes. Locked in. Do them. Two bites minimum.
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That's my pledge to the Hot Ones viewership.
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Well, I'll follow you right along, all right?
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We're hand-in-hand on this journey. Oh, yeah.
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So as someone who grew up idolizing the comedies of Judd Apatow, Will Ferrell, Adam Sandler, how would you distill the experience of making one of your own?
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Like are you hungry to make another one or did the experience of bootstrapping an indie kind of zap any enthusiasm you had for being a movie star?
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It was the coolest thing one of the coolest things I've ever done to just like get to play a really confident idiot just like those guy, you know, like a Sandler character, like a Danny McBride character, like a Will Ferrell character.
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And it was hard like it does suck. That's the thing.
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Stand-ups complain about how hard the road is.
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It's so easy to do stand-up is what I realized.
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Like acting, you have to like you know, you have to be on time.
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You have to like you have to know your [ __ ] lines.
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You can't just go up there and make fun of some guy, you know, and that's like oh that's that'll be 20 minutes today, you know what I mean?
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All I want to do is make dumb movies.
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We don't make movies where it's just like all you do is laugh.
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You come out stupider after 90 minutes.
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The the dumb confident funniest guy in the world in my opinion.
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And there's no one stupider and more confident than a cult leader. You know what I mean?
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So, that's why I was just like digging into that. It was it was awesome. Yeah.
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Loco fire, I don't like the sound of that. Okay, little spice.
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Little spice on the back end there. Yeah. Yeah.
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Kind of reacquainting us with the show a little bit. Yeah, another step here. Yeah, okay. Sick. No problem. Easy peasy.
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So, I've heard some grumblings from comedians about how the proliferation of crowd work Tik Tok clips and YouTube clips, they've created more hostile environments like for audiences.
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And I'm curious, as one of the finest practitioners of the form, what's your take on that narrative? Thank you. Thank you.
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Yeah, I'm I'm one of the best at nice [ __ ] pants.
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Um Uh yeah, well I do think something bad is happening to stand-up as a result of this for like you're right.
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The more you do those, the more people come in expecting that to be the whole show.
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Whereas like I do that to get to know the audience and then you know, my my beautiful jokes.
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That's what I want the people to see, right?
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Yeah, my sacred art about busting too fast.
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That's what I want people to see.
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And so, um it has it has created that weird thing where some people are like, "I'll get DMs and they're like, um, how do we make sure we are made fun of at the show?"
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As if there's like a text alert you can sign up for, you know?
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Um, and so, it definitely has made stand-up comedy worse, but at the same time, it's made it so that, you know, we play theaters now somehow.
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I don't That's That's actually also a problem.
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I don't deserve to be in an opera house, but hey, come out and see me in a 3,000-seater. Yeah, we're locked in. I'm wobbling.
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I'm It's like, I'm I'm trying to If we were in a boxing match, I'd be trying to clinch you right now and get back to my corner. All right, here we go. Okay.
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Yeah, this is this is saltier than the other ones. Less heat. Mhm.
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Might pair well with that ranch. One of those 14 ranches. Yeah. You will. Come on, dude.
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What What are you doing over here?
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You trying to get your ranch? me a ranch.
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I don't want to get it on.
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I'm sure that jacket weirdly cost $900.
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I don't WANT TO I DON'T WANT TO [ __ ] THROW IT AT YOU, BRO. IT. DO IT. THERE YOU GO. All right.
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You played some second base in high school? Yeah, dude.
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Turning that double play.
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All right, rec league softball, yeah.
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Outside of Baltimore, is there a region of the United States where your comedy hits the hardest?
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Like, is there a spot where you're almost like kind of surprised to be embraced so much by?
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Um, I've Your hometown, Chicago.
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I think like it's a I respect Chicago so much cuz it's a fat city. You know what I mean?
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It's like a place where the plus size is the plus size community is respected.
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Yeah, you know what I mean?
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So, people use the term pencil neck all the time in Chicago.
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That's like a pejorative you get over there.
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Any fat city, Buffalo, you know what I mean?
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Like, places, you know, the world has forgotten.
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Anywhere where the BMI is out of control, my my material hits extra hard.
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Blue collar cities with very cold winters and loves of sandwiches.
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That's the Tic Tac show that you're looking for.
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That's the Venn diagram, baby. That's the center. [ __ ] it, let's go. What do we got? Volcano? Ooh, hell yeah. Habanero. Mhm. I'm a big habanero guy. Coming in strong. This is [ __ ] awesome. You like this one. I love this one, dude.
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I'm eating the whole thing. Yeah, respect. I like a habanero.
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Cuz it's a spice that's it's deserved. There's some flavor.
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Yeah, and there's some smokiness to it. Yeah, yeah.
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You feel it in your chest a little bit.
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Exactly, and there's some it's like different.
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It's not just heat for heat's sake.
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You know, I don't want to talk [ __ ] on anybody coming up, maybe.
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Any of these Any of these sauces coming up, but this is a gentleman's sauce right here. This volcano.
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Where did winning best local comedian at Magooby's Joke House Yeah, please get it right.
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It's a very serious name.
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Where does that fall on your list of career accomplishments? Oh, yeah.
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Magooby's Joke House, man.
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Um, you know, it's ridiculous and the name is atrocious, but it's a good club.
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It's where I started and um, it's fun now cuz you'd rather win a stupid contest than like a good one. You know what I mean?
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Like it's it's it's pathetic to be like, I was the 2013 U comedian of the year at like, you know, the DC Improv.
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It's like you don't want to It's like a guy bragging about his high school quarterback days.
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But now being like, show some respect for the 2012 Magooby's Joke House champion of the year. That's awesome.
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So, I just I You know, I'm talking like I'm I'm past it.
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I did a show there December 28th. NEVER FORGET.
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NEVER FORGET WHERE YOU CAME FROM.
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Never forget where you came from, Stavvy. Hot house sauce, okay.
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Could maybe a get them creative with the name.
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We got like some some pickles in here?
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Yeah, you sneaking vegetables in my wing, Sean?
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Yeah, THERE'S SOME FRESHNESS HERE.
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I'M [ __ ] WALKING, DUDE. THIS IS NOT SO BAD.
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I MEAN, it's again, I don't want to I don't want to disparage any I'm sure you know, you got paid a million dollars but this hot You know what? Hey, no.
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Let me Let me go on record right now. Okay. We don't take Oh, yeah.
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take Hot Ones can't be bought?
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No, this is this is a sauce lineup of the highest integrity. Okay? well, THIS ONE SUCKS. AND YOU CAN'T SAY THAT.
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AS A RESULT, YOU CAN'T SAY THAT.
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It's just hot, it's too salty, it's no flavor. How about that? All right.
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When you were on Snack, what did you mean when you called the Utz crab chips the backbone of THE BALTIMORE ECONOMY?
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UM EVERY school cafeteria, every gas station, every work break room, you had Utz crab chips.
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I'm like I had that chip everywhere to the point where I left Baltimore and I tried to get a crab chip and people are like, "What are you talking about?
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There's no such thing as crab chips." Baltimore's a town.
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We don't have much, but what we have, we take a lot of pride in.
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Joe Flacco, Hall of Famer in your opinion?
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Without question, first ballot.
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That run in and of itself should be studied, should be like rewarded.
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The hot house is actually coming back now and is It heard me talking [ __ ] and now my [ __ ] lips and tongue are swelling.
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I really don't like the hot house.
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Uh but I love Joe Flacco when and when it mattered most, he couldn't have picked a better time to have his four best games of his life.
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Everyone should be so lucky.
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And so, as somebody who does not work very hard but I'm hoping that I get lucky and I'm awesome four times when it really counts.
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I really look up to Joe Flacco.
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You got this little toad that's going to [ __ ] YOU UP. HERE WE GO.
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This What [ __ ] you, dude. This sucks.
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THIS DOESN'T TASTE LIKE ANYTHING. IT'S JUST HOT.
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I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED and I'm pissed off.
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Oh, what the [ __ ] This sucks, dude.
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I I thought people were all I thought Ben Stiller was overdoing it. But this actually sucks. Yeah.
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I have to be a man of my word and take a ranch bite, but I don't like it.
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I know you're a man of your word. You know what?
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This is not bad, but oh, [ __ ] I know.
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And it's going to kind of grow from here. No. Lobby.
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Yeah, oh, no, that actually somehow was worse. Yeah.
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No, it like makes the ranch hot.
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[ __ ] [ __ ] Damn, I got to go milk.
14:44
If you're visiting a Greek diner sight unseen, what are some of the hallmarks that you know that you're visiting one that's like the real deal?
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Let me have some milk, for Christ's sake, John.
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Wow, THIS ONE IS [ __ ] HORRIBLE. OKAY. WOW, this really Okay. All right. [ __ ] this.
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I don't care about the bomb. Bombs don't affect me. Oh, my god.
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Then be careful around the eyes.
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It's good that you have the glasses.
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Just don't touch the eyes.
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How is it How's it getting under my tongue? How did that happen? It finds everything. Okay, uh Greek diner.
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Wow, this yeah, this is [ __ ] bad. But I'm with you.
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In fact, you're the only thing I can see in the room right now.
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Is this our meet-cute or are we going to start kissing?
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What if that's the secret to STOPPING THE BOMB?
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THEN I THINK WE MIGHT HAVE to do it.
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Is another man with A SUBPAR HAIRLINE UM GREEK DINER, ALL RIGHT, YOU want You just need the owner has to be there and he has to be disheveled, annoyed, he has to be yelling at someone.
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If he's not yelling at If he's not taking your order, pausing to yell at at somebody, not your play not the place to go.
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And yeah, just don't get the meatloaf.
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Don't get the Greek specialties.
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Don't get them at a Greek diner, man.
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They're there who God knows when they made that pan of moussaka. You know what I mean?
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Like that's been there for a while. Get a Get a burger. Get breakfast. Um that's it. You know what I mean?
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Yeah, I I halfway through talking about that, my my tongue stopped burning and now we have to eat [ __ ] this scorpion [ __ ] Don't just get it going again. All right, let's do it. A little more flavorful. Air's nice with ranch. Oh, [ __ ] Yeah.
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I swallowed with TOO MUCH CONFIDENCE.
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YOU LET YOUR GUARD DOWN A LITTLE BIT.
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DUDE, I was like, "Oh, this is bullshit." And then it got me. [ __ ] All right. But okay.
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Can you give us a buyer's guide for people that are looking for velour suits?
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Like are certain brands better than others?
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Can you mix with other textures like denim or leather?
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Are there accessories that pop with it?
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Like what can you tell us?
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The you could watch The Sopranos and just cut out all the violence and it's just Vesuvio and then at the strip club, that's what you're going for with a tracksuit. That that state of mind.
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You have an amazing Sopranos quote where you called it a more of a fat show than an Italian show. Yes.
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No other show has employed as many overweight actors in like serious positions.
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The like sex symbol from that show was James Gandolfini.
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There's fat ladies in there that are sexual beings.
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There's a fat lady who her husband almost kills a guy because he's so attracted to his fat wife.
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You're not getting that in any other prestige television show.
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It's one of the number one It's It's the best fat show of all time, no question.
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And maybe the best show of all time. I think The Wire. It's close. Amen to that. There we go, brother. All right, Stahli. God, this thing. All right. The last dab.
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So, why do you make me dab? You know what I mean? make you do anything. You do. YOU DO.
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I CAN'T JUST BE PRE-SAUCED.
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I have to [ __ ] I have to not be a [ __ ] All right. How much? Theatrics.
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We're putting on a show over here. There we go. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good.
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like I don't like how How vociferously you said that's good.
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All right, I got rid of one so now it's actually good. Here we go. Here we go. Cheers. Oh, no. I know.
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Just get I mean, what are you doing?
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This is [ __ ] This is stupid, dude.
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But the good just This is like when a guy pays to get a lady to step on his nuts with high heels. What is this?
19:03
Why does this exist if not just for pain?
19:06
It's a masochistic show, all right?
19:06
I can't fight against that.
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I can't fight against that.
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But the good news is the wings of death are behind us. We did it, baby. One more ranch dip. Mhm.
19:22
And to close things out, at the time of this recording, we are mere days away from the divisional playoff game between the Ravens and Bills.
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I can feel the tension in the air.
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Camera got Bill over here.
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I'm going to [ __ ] him up after the show.
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I'm going to pour the this IN HIS ASS.
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BUT, IT'S BEEN BEAUTIFUL to see the way the Ravens franchise has embraced your die-hard Ravens fan alter ego Ronnie.
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I'm just curious, if the Ravens, if it's their year and they win their third Super Bowl in franchise history, how will Ronnie celebrate? Oh. Oh, man.
20:01
It's going to be a wild one.
20:01
He might pay his back back due child support.
20:07
Oh, [ __ ] this to the what?
20:09
Wait, did you time this so it would just start [ __ ] me up after the question? I felt fine, dude. How did THIS HAPPEN? UM OKAY.
20:19
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU believe in numerology, but every 12 years the Baltimore Ravens win with a 28-year-old quarterback. That's true. Okay.
20:26
Trent Dilfer was was 28 24 years ago.
20:29
Joe Flacco was 28 12 years ago.
20:29
How old is Lamar Jackson? Is he 28 years old? It's in the stars. How was it IN MY MUCUS? THIS SUCKS. [ __ ] the last dab. Okay, sorry.
20:45
Do people like people buy this?
20:48
Yeah, actually a lot OF IT, TOO. DAMN, DUDE. MHM.
20:54
Ronnie's going to go crazy.
20:54
We're going crazy in Baltimore. I'm going crazy. Crab cakes.
20:59
Maybe we'll be at Night Shift.
21:01
It's a strip club under the overpass of Eastern Avenue. I'll see you guys there.
21:08
Well, look at you, Stavvy, taking on the wings of death, living to tell the tale.
21:12
Now, there's nothing left to do but roll out the red carpet for you. Oh, yeah.
21:15
This camera, this camera, this camera, let the people know what you have going on in your life.
21:18
The Dreamboat tour starts in Wheatland, California, in February. Please buy your tickets.
21:23
We're going all over the West Coast, the South, the Midwest.
21:26
And Let's Start a Cult is on Hulu soon. I don't know.
21:32
I'm bad at every aspect of my career.
21:33
I should have had a date before coming on the show.
21:35
But, it's coming soon, hopefully.
21:37
And listen to Stavvy's World, please. Subscribe. Thanks, guys. We did it.
21:43
Where's the Any ice cream?
21:45
I've seen ice cream before.
21:48
You guys didn't bring ice cream for me?
21:49
We got ice cream for you. We got ICE CREAM. OH. MHM.
21:55
I've never earned ice cream more in my life.
21:57
I've had a lot of unearned ice cream. I'll tell YOU THAT MUCH.
22:00
THIS I REALLY feel like I put in the work for it. Mhm. All right. Hell, yeah. [ __ ] awesome. Thanks, man. That was great.
22:14
Hot Ones fans, this is Sean Evans checking in to let you know that it's a new year, a new season, a new lineup of hot sauces, and that means the Season 26 Hot Ones 10-Pack is now available. Visit heatonist. com, heatonist. com, that's heatonist.
22:29
com to get your hands on the Season 26 Hot Ones 10-Pack.
22:31
Big spice, big flavor, but you don't have to take my word for it.
22:37
Take on the challenge yourself. Heatonist.
22:39
com to get your hands on the Hot Ones 10-Pack.