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my students.
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I'll ask them how much money they expect to be making by the time they're 35.
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And about 90% of them expect to be in the top 1%, which is $750,000 a year in America.
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And then they'll talk about that, like that's what I expect.
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But I'll say, "What's most important to you in your life and moving forward?"
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And a lot of the time they say balance.
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And I'm like, "So you expect to be in the top 1% by the time you're 35, but you also believe you're going to have balance in your life?"
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I mean, I don't I've never seen that.
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I don't You can have it all, you just can't have it all at once.
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And by the way, that's That may not be the way to go. You may sacrifice.
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You may say, "I want to live a nice, kind of balanced life.
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I'm going to move to a suburb of St.
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Louis, coach Little League, work 40 hours a week, be a good citizen, find a good partner." Nothing wrong with that.
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But the majority of the people I know, the young people, think they're going to be in the top 1% and also have balance in their life.
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And I just think it's ridiculous.
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And I'm like, "Okay, the only way to get there, to achieve that, is if you have one thing, and that's rich parents."
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Uh otherwise, expect to go all in on your career or scale back your expectations around your economics and your influence because it's a competitive market.
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And one of the things people can control is how hard they work.
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I don't think you want to I don't think you want to work so much that you sacrifice your health or your relationships.
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There is going to be some trade-off with your relationships.
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I didn't see my kids a lot when they were little. I I I was divorced.
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I think it was a a contributor to that.
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I was always working in services companies and never saying no to any opportunity.
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The CMO of Samsung, can you be in Seoul tomorrow for a board meeting? Sure I can.
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You know, I mean, I just said yes to everything to try and move the company forward.
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But uh I I for a long period worked very, very hard and sacrificed a lot, and it it takes a toll.
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And I did it such that I could have a lot more balance now.
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But this notion, the myth of balance, get over it.
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If you expect to be influential or economically secure, you're not going to have a lot of balance for a long period of time.
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Some people are such geniuses that they can work a modest amount of time, make a lot of money, work out, have a great relationship with their parents, be fit, donate time at the ASPCA, and have a food blog.
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Assume you are not that person.
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So, just have a sober conversation, and also have a sober conversation with your partner.
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How much money do we expect to have?
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Who's responsible for making it?
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What's your approach to spending?
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Where are we going to live?
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You know, the number one source of divorce is not um infidelity or lack of shared values.
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It's usually got something to do with money.
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And also, 70% of divorce filings are filed by women who still, and we don't like to say this cuz we like to pretend women have no agency and that they're just doughy little thos.
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Uh is the man loses a business, becomes broke, or has a mental breakdown.
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When a man loses his status as a provider, he's very inclined to be on the wrong end of divorce.
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So, I think a lot about young men.
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I think a lot about financial security.
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I think every man should start with the notion that he's going to be responsible for the economic well-being of his household.
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And by the way, it sometimes that means getting out of the way and being more supportive of your partner who happens to be better at that money thing than you.
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And that's a wonderful thing.
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But, start from a position of this is my responsibility.
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Um and make sure you're aligned with your partner around this stuff.
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Because the thing we don't talk about is that your kids are going to have higher blood pressure if you're economically strained.
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Kids in Kids in low-income households have greater systolic resting blood pressure than kids in middle and upper-income homes.
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You're much more likely to get divorced.
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You're much more likely to have a stroke.
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You're much more likely to be the victim or the perpetrator of domestic violence when you don't have money.
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And America becomes more like itself every day.
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And that is it's a loving, generous place for people with money.
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It's a rapacious, violent place for people who don't have money.
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So, all this [ __ ] that money doesn't buy you happiness, oh my god, is that a myth?
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I'm not saying you need to be incredibly wealthy.
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The middle-income people are happier than poor people, and wealthy people are happier than middle-income people. That's the bad news.
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The good news is is that it tops out.
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You get diminishing returns.
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And you have to be cognizant of when you do get to some level of economic security, that's the means.
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The ends is such that you can have an exhale, release the anxiety that you feel, and then use the opportunity to really spend a lot of time with your your loved ones and cement those relationships.
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And the problem is you get on the Sedona treadmill and you get I'm so absorbed in your own success and your professional identity and money and making more money, that you never get to the ends.
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You wake up a wealthy person or someone who's financially secure who's always thought about their economic well-being, and you don't really have a great relationship with your kids.
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Or you never really leaned into your partnership and thought, "Okay, let's take time to really enjoy each other's company. Let's do nice things."
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Your parents die before you have a chance to really spend time with them as adults.
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I think that happens to a lot of people.
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They just get so caught up in "I need the next promotion.
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I need the next amount of money."
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And once I get here, I have someone very close to my life.
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It's a family member, and I'm taking them to Africa and they're like making excuses, but our kids in the choir or they were making excuses and I'm like, "You realize this is your last chance to go to Africa before you're dead, right?"
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You're 50 [ __ ] years old.
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When are you going, when you're 70?
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But you got to get back to work an extra day.
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I mean, what are you thinking?
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We're going to be dead soon.
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And I I just think so many people don't realize how fast it's going to go by.
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And never really never really like super not only super into the relationships, but just allow themselves just to have a great time.
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I'm going to Stagecoach this week.
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I'm going to go to a country music festival. I can't stand country. But I'm going.
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I'm going to buy a pair of boots.
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I'm going to and I'm going to have a great time and I'm going to do an edible and I'm going to drink a [ __ ] ton and I'm going to have arrested adolescence with my friends and I'm going to look ridiculous. And it's like, yeah. Why why not? Why the [ __ ] not? What am I going to do?
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Watch C-SPAN all weekend?
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I mean, anyway, I I can't stand it when people who are blessed with being in this country have some level of economic security, have people in their life that love them and they love, and they don't like crazily lean into it cuz you guys are younger than I can It just goes so god damn fast. It's just crazy.
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It is just crazy how fast it goes.
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All right, if you like that clip, there's a full conversation with a lot more just like that. Just follow my finger. It is right here.