when I was around that album I really let go he went hard yeah to the point where I don't think I'm ever gonna do that again because it just got a bit I got into a bit of like a whirlwind with it I was like we do it because it was final you're doing it because he needed
to go needed to do it i doing it cuz I was sad right so I was like drinking a lot going out too much but at the same time I'm really hard on myself I was just having a good time but then after I recorded album I had one night out actually in London and it got really mental and I remember just looking at
myself in the mirror just like enough enough like what do you like I love my job so much and I and though that feeling of cancelling shows is makes me feel sick and there's actually when Adele cancelled those Wembley Stadium shows hmm I fell for him I meet him my heart broke and it made me think like I need
to look after my voice I've been drank for two and a half months Wow good for you and I've made a bet with my manager that I'm not gonna drink to Christmas Eve if he loses he has to get a tattoo of my choice I think I'm gonna get him making it dick was fir and lower back I mean I love this place
basically this whole burden was an old school and it split into five different houses now right I think this was like the nuns quarter probably haunted for sure really yeah you know I hear every night one hears the step oh really so yeah it's too regular to ignore and my
sister feels it's really weird she my sister sleeps in there and she says she can feel someone watching us but I'm live here with my best friend who I've lived with for five years we moved to London together no but thanks and then my sister moved in she just came out Vienna so it's it's amazing because
it's not about me all the time yeah at first I was the most honest heart break record in time especially coming from someone so young to put so much out on the line like that it was just so open hearted I don't know I look back in the record I thought I'd hate it by now but
I I really don't is that looking back on the photo album and I love how honest it is because I feel I and same with this wreck of coming up it's almost like I'm so honest that everyone know everything about me now they know the deepest parts of my life like everything else is pretty boring you've got to keep
something back though that's my happiness I keep back a lot and I like oh I think everyone sees me being saddened and singing sad songs but my I have so much fun yeah and I love going out partying and I have just being around people yo yo yo that do go from like real happiness to real sadness
yeah and this is what I noticed with them just not drinking for the last few months I need to be very careful I'm very I'm a control freak but I need to be very careful with drinking and going out because it can get I'm so emotional and that I'm either really really happy
or really sad and when you add drink on top of that I get really sad you know I wonder whether or not to someone who feels so much all the time whether that house you know it was the worst music I've ever made a mother come on please talk about those it was horrific and it
was why was really read of of smoking and drinking alcohol a lot of it going out a lot that I got so sad yeah that my poor team every day when I send them a son wants me like here we go again it was like it was too confessional yeah cuz I wasn't harnessing anything I wasn't actually saying in there just
moaning wallowing in it every artist has to go on a journey to some degree in order to get to where they need to be for them for their moment a time but you feels too mean please let's talk about it like you in particular went on quite a random journey doing round 2 this kind of really timeless body of work you know
I mean the first few months so I was writing this album 2015 on tour I wrote him on tour well Sydney and I wrote I wrote probably about 10 or 10 or 13 songs before the Oscars and then after dears because I went to Amsterdam for a week I had a fabulous time and then that came back
here and then I just went straight into it I was in the studio every day in Wood Green which is only 15 minutes remain with Jimi with Jimi mostly Jimi for the first few months and basically I wrote stay with me probably about 20 times you're too much of a groove I'd listen to my music too
much yeah and I was writing the same stuff and I have to give like credit to my label and my team but they were like scare yourself again let's put you in the studio with some different people and I really did they put me in the studio with her I went in with clean bandit and Timberland I did some
sessions with Jeff Bhasker MMH were amazing poohbear he made on the record he looked he made it on their agent and tired of it I mean it sounds like poo busy you been yeah he poo bare to me helped me write the song which is the the core which is which is which was called Bernie it was a massive charleen
era you know because I was in this amazing situation where it was like what almost felt like I could work with my dream team mm-hmm like whatever music I loved I could call up my team be like who who wrote this could I possibly get in with them to bounce off them and just
cuz you're a fan of someone doesn't mean that you're gonna make good music with them that's what I dunno you found it out and some yeah it just doesn't mean and it's really disappointing when you go into a room or something and I'm a huge fan of yours and then you come you
that you don't come out with anything because I then think I'm a bad writer right but for me to write with someone yeah and for it to work I need to feel super safe and it's like it's like going on a day that only work can explain it I've got it almost fancy George Michael let's talk about them for a second
there's what a huge influence on you and new music yeah did you ever meet him no he sent me flowers once and I was upstairs and I cried my eyes out Wow for any particular reason I think I had asked him to present something they'd like who's your dream person to present an award or something and he we asked
him but he was busy send flowers apologizing so it's awful oh he's amazing yeah when I was at that time when when the interlining I was going mad I would I mean being on the tour bus and I just watch interviews of him to see how he held himself and for me he was a megastar but he was so
human that the same in right he had fail abilities and yeah I love that about him because I don't want to become a robot hmm I think sometimes I don't people get so media trained that they're that they become a robot and he was and he was in interviews he said the wrong things and
he and there he was so flawed but in such a beautiful way and also he was gay you did come out and you were you know you in 2014 you are you open about it I remember that period of time is so weird I had to come out again what but I came out when I was 10 yeah like I I did all that like I came out to
my school come out to family I was 10 years old I mean I play it down but I did get teased a little bit in school I mean I still get homophobic abuse now but it's it's something that I I got used to but I it was never for me I was always more worried about my weight than
I was about being gay that was more of an issue for me as a kid growing up my family was so incredible and just so it's just know it was never really a thing so when you found yourself actually having to say it for the second time in order to satisfy people's curiosity because now they know who you are
was it easier or harder or harder yeah I found that harder than coming out to my parents but yeah then you've gone on and you've started something to help people come to that now I understand now I understand now I look back and I understand how important it is to come out yeah I was literally the only guy in
the village yeah I literally was did you laugh when their gag guarantee I love me a fairly being like I I lived in a village the only gay guy went to school only only gay guy who was out in my school in a Catholic school mission you open with your friends the way makeup in
school amazed when I was 17 18 but I was the only gay guy around really mmm in my area that that was open like I was moved to London and after a year and a half of being in London that came out yeah so I I hadn't been and I worked in a bar seven days a week I never actually got
to go gay club in properly and then think all words get got chucked around like being a spokesperson and stuff like that and it just freaked me out because I didn't know what to say yeah and I didn't know how to say and I didn't want to offend anyone but now I mean after the Oscar stuff and
all of that I feel more confident I feel like I know what I want to say and I feel great about it you feel like that that night yeah I do yeah you knew straight away when he came off the stage no because I was in I was so nervous yeah I'd she had a hip flask of tequila as well the reason why I was doing tequila
was because I onstage people don't know this I got given the wrong pack right so you do rehearsals for three days before the Oscars and you get given a pack with your all your mix in it so when I sing I have to have a load of my voice to support me when I sing I have to have an
Jimmy on the piano I got given Jimmy's packs and when I opened up to sing live on TV in front of no piano in people all I could hear was orchestra and piano in my ears I couldn't hear my voice ah and if you can't hear your voice you can't sing I got food a song so then I went back to my seat I was in a really weird
space then I got up won won the Oscar yeah and I've never experienced something like my life why I ever hear happiness yeah and I said what I said bye I'd read an article the night before that said no gay man had won an Oscar for best male actor yeah and I just missed that the best male
actor part when I did my quite an important detail is and I walked a stage I didn't I didn't realize I'd done it had an amazing night didn't look at my phone when we went back to our house in LA and we had all my family my sister's my friends and we had a big party it was
incredible then I woke up the next morning and I was like that's not fair yeah to have such a great night then wake up and I was like what have I done that's always dangerous ground because you know that you're taking these steps for the first time in front of it everybody yeah but I also need to take
responsibility yeah and that's what I learned is I have to take responsibility like I need to know my gay history before I speak on it I need to read more I need to work to to just open my mind up and grow up if I'm going to speak openly about being gay because by saying the wrong thing damage can be
done to a community so I I'm trying to take responsibility for that but I'm trying to that's not going to happen overnight you know I think though if you if you're gonna go through that kind of experience you're gonna stand on a stage and something's going to come out wrong
one reason or another best intentions or otherwise it's better to happen at the end of the tour when is talk minutes like okay and I'm good yeah he's different way for a bit it was a good thing to go out on wasn't it well probably do just drew a line in the sand for you I guess yeah I mean and also at
this point I look I evened up back on pictures of me at the Oscars and I wasn't in a great place I was very much like I'd stuck myself together and I was and and I needed to be at home with my family and my friends just get those relationships back on track I need I knew I didn't know anything about my
best friends I didn't know anything about my family and my sisters I didn't know them anymore so I needed to need to get back into that place you've been in this kind of crazy on this crazy rocket ship ride through the music industry a very short amount of time and we were
joking off camera about the Grammy night Annette party which was the most legendary party I've ever been to hands down I mean the messiest I mean it was out of us yeah he won't mind us saying there cuz I mean it was me and Edward together I was so pissed have you guys ever talked about writing
together ever we leave we jokes one time about doing something like don't let the Sun go down on me yeah would you write for others would you take the time next time too because that's something that Ed's done very well as he's been able to export his talent without watering down
his success yeah I don't know how he's done that he's like he's so super super talented in that way yeah like I feel like he can multitask I can't I can't I don't think I'll ever write music for the people have you had experiences you in meeting heroes that have lived your emotional I've had experience of meeting
who's that lesson that let me disappoint it and an emotional and that was a big part of it for me actually is when you strive to be like someone and then you meet them and it's I I mean you you have to never get your way out of that statement I have to ask you know who watching this just going like dude it's
a fly ball why did you put the bat down I'll never say oh yeah what's that about anyway but it is part of it you meet people I'm gonna hold it but then you also meet people like Elton John yeah who honestly changed the game for me when I met him and it was before releasing too good a
gobias we spent some time with each other in his house in France and he he just changed the game for me why cuz I've been the lonely hour and what it's done and I think because of the awards and stuff like that I forget how much I have to do and and how I'm still really
at the very very beginning I'm in like the toddler stage still and you look at him and he's got this huge career and everything he's achieved and he still remained such a soulful beautiful person too good at goodbyes is a great start number one in a lot of places around the world I didn't expect that
really no I genuinely didn't smash to could advise is not my favorite for me this album doesn't have it's not about the singles it's about the actual record there's my favourite songs at their album tracks but the first one was as well yeah you know our cuz I remember
talking about that with you and you're like I've got the tin and I know how it's gonna go and I know exactly it's gonna be 32 minutes and it's gonna day you spoke about it like a complete for but stay with me was always the Smasher for me for me the midnight I heard that song I just knew that that had to be
this song did you know your life would change around that Rick did that song no not agree I didn't know no not at all I knew that it moved me in a way that I've never been moved before I don't think no ever be moved again wow I just felt like I had captured my loneliness in an in that song that's what I felt in
that moment oh my god I've captured exactly what I felt oh yeah how do you deal with loneliness because we're in a time now where I think the idea of loneliness depression anxiety you know OCD mental illness anything that affects people and and you know we're just bombarded with
information distraction more than ever before and so that brings a lot of those feelings up how have you dealt with that do you still have your sad days do stuffy down clutter I mean my love my family friends suffer with mental health issues and I I cope because I have music
and that is writing is my therapy in that way I tried to go to therapy after the Oscars and stuff actually was after the Grammys when I had this really weird time in my life where I said itching over my whole body and I didn't have any rash I just start itching I didn't know why was it changed and I was going to
all these specialists trying to figure it out and I was only sleeping like three hours a night for hours and I and then they the doctor event she was like I thought your nerve endings just almost got frazzled and at that time I went tried to go to therapy and I tried it for a few months and it was amazing and
then I just know I just replaced it with music what kind of therapy were involved in I mean was it tongue was it were they were they trolling way back or they're dealing with the present moment or was it more like did one therapy session with this amazing woman who did that but
then she said to me you don't need me and she said you need a hit in the therapist so I went to his hypnotherapist and he really saved me it's better he basically taught me about this adult part of your mind in the child part of your mind and how the child part of my brain was just taking
full control and I was giving it too much time I do get really sad now but I wouldn't say that I have depression but I do get very sad do you turn to film and TV do turn to yeah oh yeah what are you watching but when I'm sad I shake it I shake sadnesses hand that's so that's what I do
okay that's what I do so you dive in you go in I'll if I'm ever feeling sad I like I just sit with it and I talk to it and I watch sad film and I listen to sad music you know and I embrace it and then it's theirs you can only cry so many tears right and then I'm done top five
people you most obsessed with and Judy Garland Judy Garland Judy Garland George Michael yeah Winehouse course Joni Mitchell and fifth harmony is that your pop group at the moment yeah but I'd actually I'd say Beyonce probably yeah I mean that's terrible she's the Whitney as well would have to go in
there yeah yeah yes too many yeah there's too many a lot of in the lonely hours from inspire by Judy Garland I did a whole I did film studies in for a levels and I did a whole year's work on Judy Garland I read every one of her biographies I listened to every album I watched every interview what was your
grade I got a B alright I was very average in school hmm yeah me too you know unrequited love man I mean now I think is like if we talk about love yes so we talk about heartbreak yes but the sweet spot is in the middle where you had both mmm unrequited nests of like not quite
getting it over the line something I'm really trying to break out of I think me need looking after myself now I'm I'm feeling hopeful about relationships because I actually think I deserve to be treated in a nice way now which is not as interesting so you come to the conclusion that you deserve it yeah I
figured out I figured out eventually that I actually deserve to be happy and I want to be happy and I don't have to be unhappy to make music and I all those things and I'm feeling really positive whereas for that yeah for the first time I feel like I could fall in love and be loved back