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When we were told that she's coming 27 weeks, I just shut down.
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And we got a text saying her birth is going to be put out.
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We were kind of forced into announcing her birth.
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We weren't ready cuz we didn't know what would happen with her.
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What's the most surprising thing that you enjoy about this stage of your life that maybe you wouldn't have seen 5 years ago or maybe you wouldn't have noticed 5 years ago, but you've kind of discovered as where you are right now of what's bringing you joy, what's, you know, lighting up your life? My daughter.
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>> [laughter] >> And also, I think I've found a sense of peace.
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I ran really fast for a really long time. And it was all I knew.
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Um I was dropped into a business at a very young age that I had no idea about.
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Nobody in my family had any idea about.
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It started with pageants and then Bollywood movies and and then Hollywood.
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But I think in all of that, it's so uncertain, right? Our jobs. It's gig to gig.
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So, when I first started, it was just like about you have to keep moving and what's the next thing and um it was sort of like this weird training that I didn't know how to unlearn.
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And I didn't know that there was any other way of being. Yeah.
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And over the last few years, and I don't know if it's the influences of my husband, moving countries, um working at a different pace, becoming a parent.
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I Maybe it's a confluence of all of sense of peace with what I've been able to achieve and what I may or may not achieve. Mhm.
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Like initially, I was I'm still a perfectionist, but I think I was greedier when it came to ambition.
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Now I think I um prioritize time with family, being at home, nesting.
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Like right now, we've just moved back to our house in LA.
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So, unpacking, packing, putting stuff together, editing out you know, Malti's closet. She's four.
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I have stuff in there from when she was two. You know, Nick's stuff.
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It's just It's so fun to go into like I I my mother-in-law told me this, but you know, seasonal to bring out like everything that's seasonal in your pantry and like make sure that the plates are right and you know, just it's It was never something I would have enjoyed doing even like 7 years ago or 8 years ago.
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It's a shift in just my whole being and I'm still coming to terms with it and familiarizing myself with it, but I'm allowing myself the time to kind of be in it.
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I would have, you know, berated myself earlier, you know, made myself feel guilty for taking a day off. Mhm.
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Um I really romanticized not taking time off.
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So, it's a it's like a complete 360, which is I'm I'm coming to terms with it myself. Yeah, I can imagine.
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I mean, it feels like you're the expert of knowing when to shift speed.
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Because when you think about the way you dominate Bollywood and the success you had there, coming out to Hollywood at peak success, you know, when when you're already winning.
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And then you go, "Oh, no, I want another gear."
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So, you come over, winning here, and then now as you're saying, winning here, and then going, "Oh, no, now I want a different gear."
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And it almost feels Would you say it's just time and age, or is there something else that allowed you to be at peace as you said?
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Because peace is such a I think we often think when we're young that pleasure and joy and enjoyment and happiness are the goal, and then as you get older, you realize peace was actually always It's having time to waste. Mhm. What a luxury.
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Not spend because it's a currency, time, I feel like, with your family, with people you love, or on the job. I love being on set.
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It's one of my favorite places in the world.
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But it's when you can just sit and not be answerable to anything.
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And I take that privilege also very seriously.
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I know this has not been handed to me.
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I have worked really hard to be where I am.
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So, I'm allowing myself Mhm.
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that time, you know, our daughter started in a new school.
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I love being able to pick her up from there, hear her stories, and like be around, and you know, maybe it's just time, age, space, where I am at the moment. I'm not sure.
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But I I think that every other pivot of mine didn't feel like it was something I controlled. Interesting. I felt pushed into it.
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This is the first time I feel like I'm allowing myself to not push myself so hard and see what happens. >> Mhm.
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I always feel like, you know, the sky will fall if I stop working one day. Yeah.
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And a lot of us, um, are wired that way.
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I think especially from India and Asia, we have this work ethic which our parents probably because they had to, you know, in order to survive and to make it in an ever-changing world in their generation, they they had to go really hard.
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So, I think our generation grew up thinking that that was the way to be, but I think I've learned to look inwards a little bit, and that's okay, and allowing myself that.
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Yeah, but the other pivots I just did the best I could.
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>> [laughter] >> I But But I love that that agency and that control, and and you're right, the same we were just talking about it off camera for a second ago.
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This idea of I was sharing that, you know, my mom would drop me to school, work during the day, pick me up, then she'd go back out to work in the evenings, and often I'd just go with her and fall asleep by her leg while she was in an appointment or a meeting.
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And I just got to see how hard my mom worked.
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And that of course has lots of benefits, as you said, in terms of building discipline, hard working mentality.
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And then at the same time, it comes a point where maybe you have to when you get the privilege or the opportunity to peel back from it to be able to shift.
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Yeah, and it's such a privilege.
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Like you have to work hard to survive in this life, and people work really, really hard.
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And some people, you know, work in jobs that you know, you might not want or be in, but you have to survive.
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So, I take that that privilege of this And it's just this year, honestly.
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Yeah, it's the first time here in your First time I'm actually doing it, where I You don't want to take that moment to kind of indulge in my family.
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And I think, you know, sometimes hard working limits your mind itself to finding that balance.
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And um but if you can find that balance, um that's the dream. Yeah. Yeah.
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Are you Nick was here just literally like two, three weeks ago. >> interview. Oh, wow. That's great. >> best interview.
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You didn't have to You don't have to say that.
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You don't have to say that.
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You don't have to say that.
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Like I had so many people who called me about it.
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And just hearing it, both of you I mean, it's who you are, but it's also my husband is >> He's amazing.
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just so sincere and honest, and it's like disarming.
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Um And to see that on camera, uh it was it was a wonderful interview.
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>> I was going to ask you, did you debrief?
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Do you both talk about when you get back from these Not when we get back, when the clips come out.
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Like You know, when you get back home, you're like, "Ah, let's watch a movie.
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Talked about myself all day." Can't do that anymore.
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So, I don't think we got into it.
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Like, I had no idea about what you guys spoke about.
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But, when the clips come out and I'm seeing it, then then of course we talk about No, my my favorite thing is to be sitting opposite someone who's that sincere because it just allows for this really genuine dialogue to come out and uh Yeah, no, I'm I'm I'm glad that you got a chance to see it.
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I'm glad that you know, I got to be with >> to be that. No, it isn't.
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And especially in our profession, like I mean, you do it differently, but you know, when it's a public-facing profession you get media trained. Mhm. You can't help it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Like, when you do it for long enough, you know how to navigate different questions, how to deflect from what you don't want to answer.
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And I have an added layer of it because I have a pageant background.
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So, that >> [laughter] >> I can really deflect. Oh, wow.
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You know, so it's for me, it has always been really, really tough.
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Um to reach that deep part of myself when I'm on camera. Yes. I find it uncomfortable. Mhm.
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>> Um but, it was very inspiring to watch that interview and see Nick do it.
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I mean, that's the most inspiring thing about my husband for me and which is why you know, I give a lot of credit to being married to him to to have been able to find this ease and and comfort as I navigate life.
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Like, even the the tough things um are kind of easier to handle because he's with me. Wow.
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And it's so different than what life was like 10 years ago.
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and so I think that, you know, it's being able to see him do that has helped me also get in touch with my feelings a little bit more and um articulate them. Yeah.
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>> Like both of those things are mutually exclusive for me, were mutually exclusive for me, but now I feel them and I can talk about it. Mhm.
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And um that was a big step. Yeah. No, I love that.
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I was I mean both of you talk so beautifully about your daughter and I was wondering are you the strict one? Are you the chill one? Are you the fun one?
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Like as a parent, like what is what is your go-to?
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If Nick's the sincere one and the you know, what's what's your Yeah, I'm the mom.
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I have to set down the rules like [laughter] Like I'm doing all the hard work here like Um no, we both do that.
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We both like the good thing about our parenting and we kind of fell into this beautifully as a rhythm together was we always talk about how we will navigate a situation. Mhm.
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Um and we are always on the same page when it comes to her. Mhm.
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So there's never a decision that I will say something and he will say something else or we're not on the same page about it.
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And we just kind of naturally fell into that.
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Um but yes, I'm usually a little bit more setting down the rules and you have to finish eating and you have to sleep at this time, we have to wake up for school like yeah. Yeah, yeah.
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One person has to >> her schedule. Yeah, yeah. One person has to do it. One person has to do it.
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Someone has to take the Take the responsibility. >> Yeah.
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>> Yeah. I love I love the I love what you were saying though like just about being open and honest in conversation and in the public eye and how hard that is especially now in a world where we do live in a world full of clips like where everyone's judging you off of what you said in 20 seconds without the context of even the fact and that's why I think
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podcasting has been so revolutionary and helpful in that space is someone can actually listen to someone for an hour, two hours and actually make sense of they're saying rather than oh, I saw this 30-second clip of a 3-minute interview on a TV show and now this is my version of who you are and or I think you're the character you play in your movies. I don't really know who you are.
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I don't really know who you are.
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So, I wonder why is it important for you to be yourself fully now on an interview or on a show like why why are you even trying to do that?
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Why is that even meaningful to you?
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What what would that provide for you right now? I don't know if I can.
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I'm trying it I'm trying it out with you. >> it out with me.
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>> [laughter] >> You're my guinea pig. >> I love it. Oh, great. This is the experiment. Amazing. I love it. I don't know if I can.
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I don't know if you'll be able to get past that. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Um but no, I think I it's the opposite.
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I think I have come to a place in my life where I'm more in touch with my own feelings. >> Yes, okay.
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>> Hence being able to >> Mhm.
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be confident enough to talk about real things versus deflect deflecting it into, you know, what I want you to Yeah.
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kind of thing and so now I'm like I'll try it with Jay. Perfect.
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Thank you for trusting me.
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>> Comfortable seat, trustworthy man.
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>> Yeah, I appreciate that. Thank you. That's very kind.
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No, it's but it's but it's real.
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It's it's it's such a real thing you're talking about.
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It's not easy to do that and I think you're so right about when you're still trying to figure yourself out.
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And sometimes when you're in the change, it's like everyone wants to know everything about you but it's like you're so in transition >> Yeah.
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>> that you're like I have nothing to share.
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I I feel like that between when I'm writing books.
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So, when I have a book, I have lots to talk about because I've just spent two, three years studying this theme and looking at the science and the research and the wisdom and all this stuff.
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And then people invite me on the interviews in between.
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I'm like guys, I've got nothing to say because I'm working on new ideas.
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I'm I'm building new ideas and I don't want to just say what I said before.
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I will give you credit though.
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I think you're being a little bit hard on yourself because I remember the last time we I interviewed you, the way you spoke about your parents and of you've learned from them and just how much impact they've had on you, that not only is extremely genuine, it resonates really strongly.
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And I know it resonated with our audience.
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Like that interview we did 5 years ago has like 3 million views. Wow.
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And it's like people got so much from it.
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So, I think you are being a bit hard on yourself.
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And I just want to let you off the hook a little bit because would you say that's been a trait of yours as well as part of your that that ambition, that drive?
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Have you been had to be hard on yourself through this?
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>> My therapist thinks so.
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>> [laughter] >> What does your therapist say about it?
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That's what I want to know.
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What is What is the therapist saying?
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>> Um yeah, that's apparently a character trait of mine that I'm very hard on myself. I didn't know that.
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I recently like I'm really turning the lens on myself a little bit in the last few years uh where I'm kind of trying to get to know this new me. Mhm.
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There's things that I do and say where I'm like, "Wow, this would not have been my reaction Wow. like 6 years ago.
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Patience I like I was not patient.
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I mean, I really I'm still like I move very fast. I make quick decisions.
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I try to be like I'm always 5 seconds ahead when it comes to work, but I I think having a toddler will teach you patience that it's never in your control.
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>> [laughter] >> I think that that's why sometimes I think about it, I'm like, "I know that the biggest personal growth I'll ever have is having a kid." Absolutely. You have no control.
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>> yeah, you you think Yeah, I'm always like, "Yeah, you think you've done all the self work."
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And then you'll have a child, Jay, and you'll know exactly how far you are.
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>> idea in the directions your personality will change. You cannot predict it. Yeah.
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It depends on who your kid is and who they turn into.
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And it just you become metamorphosized into this other person. Mhm.
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And in every aspect, priorities suddenly change.
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And everyone had told me that before, but when you're living it, it's it's it's really wild. Yeah.
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So, I'm still trying to get to know this new me Mhm.
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who's completely different from even the one you probably spoke about 5 years ago.
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Like, this was That was before I became a parent, and um so, it'll be fun to get to know her.
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Yeah, what what have you discovered so far that's been the most surprising to you or something that you're like, "Oh, I didn't know that was in there."
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Like, what what was something that you came across recently that stood out to you about yourself that you've been finding, discovering, searching?
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I'm much more patient with things when they don't work out. Mhm.
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I would like I said or you said, observed, was very hard on myself when something wouldn't work out, or I would, you know, like, just be mad, and my approach to like, figuring out why it didn't go the way I needed it to go, like, the control that I needed to have.
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Like, I just I I feel like it's okay to not have that, and that's a huge change in me because it's affected every aspect of my life, how I interact with human beings, um how I approach work that I take on, definitely how I parent, even how I am at home.
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It's made me self-sufficient.
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It's made me rely on myself a little bit more.
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It's like created a sense of confidence, which um again, this is something that I preached, I know, my mind knows, but I was never able to implement >> Yeah.
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to myself, which was, you know, when you're holding on to something really, really tight, you know, you're you're exhausting your muscles. So what's that? >> tiring.
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And that's people who like to control things, and, you know, like, alpha personalities are like, it has to go my way. Mhm.
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Um and maybe that was how I achieved what I did and my ambition showed itself in, you know, being a control freak almost, like holding on really tight.
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Um, but that's something I've really consciously and subconsciously worked on.
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As soon as I recognized the ease of letting the universe kind of push you in the direction you're meant to go, and then within that, of course, work hard every day to, you know, achieve your goals through the day.
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But it's okay if once in a while it doesn't turn out to be the way you thought it should be, because you might end up with what you need Mhm.
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instead of what you wanted. Mhm.
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Which is even even more important.
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Yeah, there's a beautiful Zen teaching that says letting go is hard, but holding on is harder. Definitely.
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>> exactly what you just described, like when you're trying to hold on to this rope and it's tight in the grip. It's exhausting.
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>> Exactly, it's exhausting, it's painful, you'll end up with, you know, scars from it.
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But you you just pointed out, do you think that it's almost like it's such a catch-22, because it's like, do you think you'd be this successful if you hadn't had that? No.
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Right, so then I don't think so.
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And I've I like I look at my 20-year-old self and I applaud her for surviving and doing whatever I needed to. Mhm.
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Flying all over the world, wanting to achieve everything, having the personality trait of of, you know, being someone who just wanted everything. Mhm.
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And not be apologetic for it.
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Like, my younger self was not apologetic for, you know, wanting a piece of everything, wanting a legacy, wanting to leave behind something and and I really had to separate myself and like look at her.
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And, you know, in fact, when I was writing my memoir, it was a really critical um experience for me, which helped me kind of navigate a lot of these things.
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Like because I was talking to my friends and family and you know, trying to corroborate my own memories cuz, you know, memories are a funny thing. >> Absolutely.
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What I might remember maybe just my perspective and pers- perception is definitely not reality.
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And I used to believe 100% that perception is reality.
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What you become is what people believe.
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And like as time has gone by, I was just like, man, that girl really had to believe what she had to believe to get to the other side. Yeah. >> And that's okay. Yeah.
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And you know, I I see a bravado which I admire today.
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I maybe don't have it anymore, you know, I'm a little bit more sensible, a little bit more level-headed, maybe. Still is funny, though. Still is funny. Still is funny. Yeah. The comedy is important. Yeah, exactly.
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Um gets you through stuff.
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But, you know, like it's okay.
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I think I needed to be And And as we grow older, I think for all of us, at whatever age in life you're in, but to be able to forgive yourself for how you were Mhm.
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when you were young or You know, we all hold on to so many burdens of our past >> Mhm.
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and are so hard on ourselves because of those things.
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And just I think focusing on the future and the present is just a way of kind of letting go of that control.
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Yeah, I really appreciate that perspective because I feel like so many of us as humans, when we discover a new way of living, we almost disregard >> shun shun exactly, the past way of being.
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And so we're like, oh, now I've figured out life. Now I'm at peace.
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And it's almost like, wait a minute, you're you're forgetting the part that that kid at 20 years old as yourself you're talking about needed to have that bravado, that holding on tight, that ambition, that drive to get here and I love what you're saying because I think that's really the work that we're all trying to do is accept that all these versions of us were just trying the best with what they know. >> Yeah.
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And now that we know better, we can do differently and do better, but that it's not a judgment or a shunning of that version of ourselves.
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>> And as we grow in life, we're going to keep changing.
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Like evolution is >> Yeah, hopefully. Yeah.
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Um and even if we don't, that's fine.
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>> [laughter] >> That's your individual journey, you know?
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And but like Nick's new song, it was so profound to me. >> Mhm.
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Gut punch because that's what it really talks about is when did I get so good at being mean to myself, right? And we all do.
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And if we with you catch yourself on the couple of things which actually helped me.
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One, is this a constructive thought? Mhm.
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So when I'm going down the rabbit hole of anything, stress, fear, anxiety, anything.
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Is it a constructive thought?
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Will it get me somewhere?
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And if it's not, it's not meant to be in your head. Mhm.
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And the second thing which has really helped me is um thoughts are not facts. Mhm.
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So when you're spiraling about something or anxious about something or berating yourself for having done something wrong, you have to kind of come back to the facts.
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Like what what are the facts that I know?
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And then it just takes away the power. Yeah.
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Um yeah, those are tools that have really I think helped me in this new phase. I love those tools. >> Zen phase.
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>> Yeah, I love those tools, yeah.
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Especially that second one because I feel like the mind is not a truth seeker, it's a storyteller. >> Absolutely.
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It will make up a story and it will create it and it will print it. >> it.
22:56
Yeah, and we'll plaster it.
22:56
It's the biggest fake news in the world is is the mind doing its thing and like you just start to believe whatever new story it tells you.
23:04
>> don't talk about it, which most of us are trained to not do, right?
23:06
Like we've got to be tough.
23:09
We've got to like at least when I was growing up, there was no importance to therapy or constructive conversation, even within family.
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It was like, "You're stronger than that.
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You don't have to feel that way."
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Like almost dismissive of actual feelings.
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And not just by parents, that was just the culture of society >> of how it was.
23:30
And I feel like um that's a wonderful thing that we've come to a place where we can actually talk about our feelings, but you know, the more you keep it in, the more you're not allowed to talk about how you're feeling, which is totally different than how you should be behaving or what you should be doing in a situation.
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Completely different thing.
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How you're feeling is so crucial to acknowledge.
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And then it's easier to kind of move on.
24:01
And but the initial validation you need is "I am upset about something and it's okay."
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Whatever that might stem from.
24:07
I might be feeling jealous.
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I might feel like angry that this didn't happen for me or whatever it was or but it's okay to acknowledge that feeling and I find it really beneficial to talk to like my best friend or my husband or someone.
24:26
Um this is also a Nick Jonas learning, actually. Go on. Oh, man. >> [laughter] >> Go on.
24:32
I just realized early into our our marriage, we had, you know, argument that everyone does when you're just getting to know each other and newly married and we had an argument and being the person that I am, you know, I'm the storm in Nick's teacup. That's how we are. Um or at least we were. I don't know. We're evolving. Okay.
24:55
[laughter] I was like, "Well, we need to approach it this way and you know this is how it'll get better and solutions and solutions."
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And he was like, "Well, we need to talk about how we're feeling."
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And those were completely two different things.
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And I didn't know how to do that or like the fact that I needed to do that.
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And he was like, "Let's talk about how I'm feeling, how you're feeling and then we'll be able to move on to a solution."
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Which was so mind-blowing to me at that time and profound honestly.
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And it just changed the way the direction of the conversation.
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It just It's so healthy to be able to acknowledge, you know, yeah this made me feel this way.
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And the same honest truth.
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So then you're like, "Oh my gosh, if something I said made someone feel a certain way, how do I feel about doing that to a loved one?"
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You know, like if a certain behavior from me or a certain behavior from you just makes me feel not nice, will you keep doing it again knowing that?
26:02
So it was such a big like learning for both of us and you know, we've never gone back to the storm in the teacup.
26:13
Radhi and I were still I mean Radhi and I have been together for 13 years now.
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It's our 10-year wedding anniversary this year. It's like a decade. It's super exciting.
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And at the same time my point is of course we still have stupid arguments all the time.
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We've just built tools and techniques over the years that have worked for us and everything that's you know, that everyone's dealing with.
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What gave you cuz I find this to be one of the biggest things at least for me and Radhi that I think has been beneficial.
26:36
What gave you the humility to be able to learn that from Nick, right?
26:40
Because I think in a lot of relationships it's kind of like well, you want to do it that way but this is the way I do it.
26:46
So like you're saying, "Hey, I want to do my solution." >> like that.
26:50
It happened for a few a few times and we argued where I was like, "This is who I am and like this is what I know." >> worked for me.
26:59
>> And it has worked for me.
27:01
But I think I heard him maybe for the first time.
27:04
And I don't know what maybe I wasn't hearing him.
27:06
I was focused so much on what I was feeling that I couldn't listen to what he was feeling.
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And over time maybe you know my husband is and I've said this so many times the most sincere honest person and that just disarms you.
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So when he looks at you with those eyes and says "Let's talk about how we're feeling."
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We're going to talk about how we're feeling.
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>> [laughter] >> Yeah, he has that deep presence.
27:44
The room calms down and it just the he just takes you in that the direction that he wants to and um that's the first thing actually that drew me to Nick when we first met is he has this quiet confidence which makes him like a natural leader.
28:06
You know, you kind of want to listen to him and hear him out and know that you know, he has thought about things and he's not impulsive and he's decisive.
28:19
But it's just this quiet confidence.
28:19
It doesn't need you know, to be put on display.
28:25
Um and that was just beautiful.
28:25
Yeah, I mean that takes a lot from you to notice that as well because sometimes I think quiet confidence is missed. Yes.
28:34
>> Because it's quiet as in it it doesn't have that flashy it doesn't feel like it doesn't look like leadership in the old way it's been propagated across the world and then it's easy to miss.
28:43
So it's it's also credit to you to be able to you know, have the time to be able to notice that and see the value of it.
28:49
I I felt the value of it when I've been around him and had conversations with him and It's always been something that has it's been something I have sought.
28:57
It's been something that I have always been drawn to.
29:03
And again, you know, it's at different phases, different you have to be different kinds of confidence.
29:09
There are times where you need to be a peacock and or a porcupine.
29:14
>> [laughter] >> It's fine.
29:15
You're just like >> I like I like that.
29:16
Yeah, I like You can be either or.
29:18
But you got to, you know, show it off a little bit.
29:20
Um and then there are times you don't. Yeah, yeah.
29:24
It's really up to us to figure out when, you know, how much you need to turn it up and how much you need to turn it down.
29:32
But the fact that you can turn it down, that is something like a lot of people don't know. Yeah. And use.
29:38
You know, confidence doesn't always have to be loud.
29:40
It doesn't always have to scream. Yeah. It just arrives. Yeah.
29:48
And that's the best type. Yeah. Yeah, I know.
29:50
I mean I mean obviously he has that.
29:53
You also have that like quiet confidence. Thank you. That's very sweet. That's very kind of you.
29:56
Yeah, I I found it really fascinating because when I first came here and I I don't I don't like this uh term that people would always be like, "Oh, you do motivational speaking."
30:04
Which I don't consider myself to do.
30:05
Because I would think about all the motivational speakers that have come before and they're like loud, they're big, they're like and I'm like, "I'm just a little Indian guy, you know?"
30:14
Like I'm like, "That's not my That's not my presence and I don't I don't think that that's the only way to be powerful. It's a way."
30:22
Um and I and I love >> move people, it's powerful. >> Yeah, yeah.
30:26
>> Yeah, yeah. And and and I love what you're saying that it can be done quietly and but it's I find it fascinating that you were seeking that because I think right now when we think about dating in the modern world, when
30:35
we think about whether it's marriage, any sort of committed monogamous relationship, I think what women and men are looking for sometimes we're all so confused because there's so many versions of what confidence, strength, attractiveness looks like. >> for you. Correct. And what's right for >> for you. Correct.
30:50
And what's right for you, but you knew that was right for you because there was something that was guiding you to that. Was that intuition?
30:57
Was it It happened so quick. >> Yeah. Like it was so quick.
31:03
And I wondered for the first like year I was like what was it?
31:10
Cuz I'm not one to jump in full commitment.
31:13
It was like six months, right? Yeah.
31:16
>> Six months since we first met, we not first met, like went out on our first date, we were married. >> Mhm.
31:23
Like we were engaged in like two months or something. It's amazing.
31:25
It was so quick, but there was no part of me that could say no.
31:30
I was so um drawn and compelled by him. Mhm.
31:33
And I think that was the one of those things was his natural leadership. Mhm.
31:39
And that comes from his quiet confidence.
31:44
Like he would just hold my hand and I felt the need to follow him. >> Mhm.
31:49
I'm the I'm usually the person >> [laughter] >> shows people the way.
31:54
You know, so it was just very attractive to me to be with someone that is so decisive and Yeah.
32:01
um is not afraid to show it and doesn't need to scream off the rooftops like what Nick says he can say to you on this microphone, he can say at home.
32:11
He's just like that's who he is.
32:14
um and that was very new to me and disarming and charming at the same time. >> Mhm.
32:22
I love the way you both speak about each other. Like this is so special.
32:23
I'm like I'm literally going to going to get the two clips of you both talking about each other and put them next to each because it No, it's wonderful.
32:30
It's it's so wonderful because it's real. It's not easy.
32:35
It It like I said, it requires a lot of humility.
32:38
Even as what you just said, I I'm used to being the leader.
32:41
I'm used to showing the way, but actually I'm really happy to let someone else lead sometimes.
32:45
>> Yes, that's what every girl wants.
32:47
>> [laughter] >> Is to be with a man competent enough that you will trust them to guide you in the right place.
32:53
Because usually, you know, women are really good at figuring out and and navigating through problems, but um like Nick has this innate wisdom that I trust and that I've always trusted.
33:09
His honesty I've like trusted and I think that was one of the first things that I was like yes, you will be great for life.
33:19
>> [laughter] >> That's that's it. That's amazing. That's so good.
33:24
And I loved I saw your um congrats on the Variety cover. It's amazing. >> you.
33:28
And I and I read I read the piece before as I was preparing for this and I just loved how you said in the article you were like, I just because when I hear you both, when I spend time with you both, I've been to your house, I've been you know, spent time with you over the the years at different events. You see that love.
33:43
You see the way you communicate.
33:44
You see it even when I'm speaking to you both here, there's so much genuineness and then naturally you talked about the Variety cover with the you know, the the negativity that naturally comes with having a relationship in the public eye and I love that you said you're like, I just don't think about it anymore cuz we've been together for 8 years.
33:58
It's like, you know, this stuff doesn't matter almost anymore.
34:03
How hard was it to get to that point to be able to be like, you know what?
34:05
Now I'm you know, we we've always been good. We're fine.
34:09
Like but how did how long did it take for you to feel I'm not even letting that get to me anymore? I mean, it's hard.
34:14
I still like will read a comment here or there and I'm like, why?
34:19
Like what did I do to you? Yeah. Why?
34:22
Why is it Why be so mean?
34:22
Like I don't even know you. I've never met you.
34:28
You've seen like some aspects of my life and decided I might be this horrible person or we're not right to get like why? Mhm.
34:34
So, it still sometimes in weak moments will get me.
34:40
Um like so many other things like mean things do.
34:43
But in general, I think I'm just in a place where I want to focus on the good in my life and I feel really blessed to have the good that I do.
34:56
It's not been an easy journey.
34:59
And to be in a place where you know, you come out of a storm and the sun is shining and you just kind of like take that moment. >> Yeah.
35:08
And I feel like I'm in that moment right now.
35:10
Yeah, we don't we don't like me and Roddy don't obviously have nearly the amount of eyeballs that you guys have on us.
35:15
But we went through this really interesting period where we'd been together every day during the pandemic and as soon as the pandemic was over, Roddy was so excited to go back home and see her family as as so many people were.
35:27
>> And so Roddy was spending a lot of time in London after the pandemic because she just missed her family, she missed her parents.
35:34
>> And I did too, but I have work here, I have my team here, I I I've set up a life here and I go back and forth, but not as often as she likes to.
35:41
And it was really fascinating cuz I get a call from my publicist one day.
35:46
She was like, "Jay, I just got a call from this major publication and they've just been reading on the dark web."
35:50
I was like, "What is the dark web?"
35:51
They were like, "I've been reading on the dark web that people are thinking that you and Roddy are about to, you know, break up and like you're not together anymore and that the pictures that you're posting are old and all this stuff."
36:02
And I was like, "We're in a really good place.
36:04
Like we're totally happy.
36:05
Actually, the pandemic was amazing for us because we spent every day together and fell more in love with each other, which was such a blessing to have that."
36:11
And [snorts] then I we've always had this communication me and Roddy where London is such an important part of her identity, our family, our niece and nephew.
36:20
And so we've always tried to live this LA London life as much as we can. >> Not easy. >> It's not easy at all.
36:26
And yeah, Yeah, so Roddy will go back a lot more often.
36:29
I'll I'll run in and out whenever I can.
36:32
And and it was just fascinating to me that like that was even being talked about.
36:36
And and she was like, "Yeah, there's loads of people just wondering whether you guys are still together, still in love, whatever."
36:40
And and it was just such a And I remember having the conversation with Roddy and laughing at it, obviously, because we know what we're doing.
36:47
But I was like, "Wow, like where do where do people even invent this stuff?
36:50
And then how does it go from we're living in different countries during a certain period of time with with context, but you take that to be we don't love each other anymore or don't want to be together?"
36:59
And I was like, "Wow, like And and like I said, it's nowhere near compared to the eyeballs that you and Nick have on you."
37:03
So it's just such a fascinating And I struggled with And Roddy struggled with it where she got to the point where she was like, "You know what?
37:10
I don't want to talk about our relationship publicly anymore."
37:12
Like that's where she got to.
37:13
She was like, "I just don't want to talk about it because I don't like all these opinions and I don't You know, it really affected her."
37:19
Well, I I have a couple of thoughts on how I kind of navigated it. >> Yeah.
37:25
One is we're living in a time and a period where we get to see and read the opinions that people have of us, right?
37:35
Like before social media, back in the day, usually the aunties weren't talking in the kitchen.
37:39
[laughter] Everyone was talking.
37:42
>> definitely That's brilliant.
37:42
Everyone was talking about everything.
37:43
We just didn't hear about it. Absolutely.
37:47
>> So, nothing's really changed. >> Yeah.
37:50
It's just how much information we are >> Smart. absorbing.
37:53
So, take that power away that this is all the same people that would have talked about you guys even 40 years ago if you were in the position that you're in.
38:03
That's kind of the gig when you become a public person.
38:09
People will have an opinion on you.
38:09
So, protect your sanity by understanding that this is this comes with the job.
38:16
It comes with the territory, right? So, that's one.
38:21
Of course, it can still affect you and you know, um hurt because it comes across your timeline and you're like, why?
38:29
Like, what's the need of it?
38:29
The second thing that I really strongly believe it's no one's business, honestly. And that's okay.
38:39
Like, you share as much as you need to and what feels right.
38:45
And even within our families, right?
38:47
Like, if you're going for especially Indian families, everyone's in your business.
38:50
Everyone wants to know all the things.
38:53
But even there, I believe that if it's not your business, I don't need to tell you.
38:58
And so, protect protecting ourselves from the cacophony of opinions is really important.
39:05
And that's just by like, you got to do the self-talk and be like, do I want to react to this?
39:11
Is this a constructive thought?
39:13
Like, just you got to kind of Yeah, you got to nip it in the bud and be like, that's not something I need to waste my time on.
39:20
Yeah, I think me and Radhi made a pact earlier where even with the family piece, it was like, we solve our problems together. >> Yeah, exactly.
39:28
>> And if we need to communicate with either of our parents, you communicate with your parents, I communicate with mine because that's the open line of communication that is given there for the guidance.
39:36
>> and it'll be you know, it'll be real. Yeah.
39:40
>> Whatever your version of that is is I think like, just the public scrutiny and it's for everyone now.
39:48
Like, there are comments on everyone's socials, right?
39:49
Like, not just people who are in the public eye. >> yeah.
39:53
Like, content creators, anyone who's out there, you have comments.
39:57
So, it's not just a problem of public people anymore.
40:00
That's just the nature of the world we're living in.
40:04
So, for everyone who gets mean comments on your comments or on your Instagram or TikTok or whatever, like, really recognizing and maybe young people don't even remember this, but like people always talked. Yeah, yeah.
40:19
There's a Hindi song Logon ka kaam hai kehna. Yes. >> Log kuch to kahenge. Yes. Logon ka kaam hai kehna. Yes.
40:27
Which means people have to say something, so they're constantly going to say something. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah.
40:31
And that's just human beings.
40:33
So like just a pinch of salt sometimes is important while reading that stuff.
40:38
>> Yeah, well said, good advice.
40:38
I was thinking I want to shift gears cuz I know we can talk about Nick the whole whole podcast, so we'll get back. Did he say that? Yeah, we'll get back.
40:44
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we'll get [laughter] back.
40:47
He did he did the same, so it's fine.
40:49
We'll get we'll get back to Nick and I want to talk about family as well, but I want to shift gears to something you said earlier.
40:54
You said to me that actually this is the first time where you're actually using agency to to be in the choice of what speed you're moving at.
41:02
And before there was almost this pivot that felt pushed on you or just felt like the way you had to go.
41:09
And I was reading online about a um there was a director in Bollywood who was saying that Priyanka was treated badly.
41:16
She was like she was treated badly in Bollywood, we pushed her out was was his language.
41:20
And and I was like I don't know how that feels when when you're at the top, when you've won, like you're one of the most iconic people we've ever had in the industry in Bollywood without a doubt, like celebrated, done every major movie, worked with, you know, every major director, every major person in in the industry.
41:39
To me it looked like a win, but that's what I mean people are almost coming out and confessing and feeling like, "No, we treated her badly, we pushed her out."
41:46
And what how do you feel about that when you hear that?
41:48
I have like conflicting thoughts with all of that because I feel like surviving in the movie industry is tough for everyone.
41:58
It's it's not an easy place. Um it's political. It's networky.
42:06
It's um you know, moment driven.
42:10
If it's the moment, you're the man of the moment or the woman of the moment, and then the moment's gone, it's somebody else's moment. So, it's fleeting.
42:18
So, I am pragmatic enough to recognize that.
42:23
I feel like everybody has their struggles because of their choices.
42:24
I did feel like I was in a place where I felt um cornered, where work was limited, and in order to survive emotionally, mentally, physically, um I just needed to move.
42:38
And that's always been my answer.
42:40
I'm not someone who stays stagnant.
42:44
I need movement to solve my problems.
42:48
Um and this time it just happened to be across continents, you know.
42:50
The hardest things to do, yeah.
42:52
Completely move like completely different country. >> yeah.
42:56
But, um I was talking to you about the universe, right?
42:58
So, I was in this place where I was doing I was doing good work, but I kind of didn't see myself um like I told you I look 5 seconds ahead of me.
43:08
Like always thinking ahead is my nature.
43:12
So, I just didn't see longevity the way I wanted it in um in my situation at that time.
43:19
Um and I'm honest about who I am.
43:22
So, you know, I was never afraid of living my truth.
43:29
But, that's what it ended up being.
43:29
I felt cornered, and um Anjula, who's our common friend, who's for people who don't know, now my manager, but at that time she ran Desi Hits, which was um uh a joint venture with Interscope Records, which, you know, shone the light on um Indian artists and South Asian artists, and brought them over to America.
43:55
And she saw an old movie of mine at her mom's house.
43:58
It was called Bluffmaster. >> Yeah.
44:00
And she was like working with Jimmy Iovine at that time.
44:02
They'd just done the Pussycat Dolls version of um Jai Ho. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
44:08
So, there was like that um you know, just cross-pollination.
44:16
I like to use that word of cultures within music that was happening.
44:17
And she reached out to me, you know, I heard you can sing.
44:23
I mean, that's I can carry a tune with a little bit of help.
44:27
But, um not like I used to enjoy it.
44:30
I used to go into the studio, sing with my friends.
44:33
You know how in Bollywood movies we have um music as a you know, we have a soundtrack to every movie.
44:39
And that's usually recorded with um you know, with um music producers.
44:45
And so, I used to go in for those sessions just because I loved seeing how music was made.
44:50
And so, sometimes I would take the mic and just sing or whatever.
44:55
So, I had a few songs out there floating around.
44:56
And um I don't know, she got her hands on them and she was like, you know, let's make you a pop star.
45:04
And because I was feeling it was like a the universe kind of just timed itself together.
45:13
I was feeling very limited in my work in Hindi movies.
45:17
I was feeling kind of like I don't have a direction to go on and this was like an olive branch.
45:25
And I I'm I don't get starstruck.
45:29
But, musicians like get me. Woof.
45:31
[snorts] Being able to be on that stage and command with a live microphone so many people is incredible to me.
45:40
So, I was just blown away by you know, being flown to London and then from there being signed to Universal, from there coming to LA, and you know, being in the studio with will. i.
45:52
am and Pitbull and The Chainsmokers and work with RedOne and you know, I met the most incredible people um during this two-year pop star era >> [laughter] >> of mine.
46:07
It was such a welcome change.
46:11
It was a breath of fresh air.
46:11
And this is behind the lens, like what I was feeling.
46:18
I was feeling like I was drowning and I was suddenly pulled out. And >> Wow. I could breathe.
46:27
And I didn't know if this would stick or not, but I was just breathing. And >> Wow.
46:33
I was breathing in excellent company.
46:36
I was making music that I didn't know how to make.
46:38
But you know, there was faith in something in me and I have to give credit to both Angela and Jimmy Iovine for seeing something that I didn't see.
46:50
I was honestly just breathing at that point and really happy to be given an opportunity to work with some of these incredible artists that I had admired for so long.
46:59
I mean I spent my 30th birthday with Bono.
47:03
How many people can say that?
47:05
Like it was just so cool to be in that rarefied air of just artists who make music with a guitar and you know, songs that come into their mind and I was just inspired and feeling a sense of being alive creatively and emotionally.
47:26
I lost my dad within that phase as well, which was a really big hit for me.
47:31
So it was a tough like period of 5-6 years, a lot of change a lot of full stops you know, a lot of leaving feelings and things behind and trying to come out on the other side of it.
47:47
And I was alone because I'd moved countries.
47:53
That was extra layer of tough.
47:53
I didn't really have a lot of friends.
47:56
I have a lot of family in America, but everyone's really busy with their lives.
47:59
So, um between I was bi-coastal between LA and New York.
48:04
Um and you know, hotel rooms get lonely.
48:08
And so, I moved into an apartment and you know, I after the music phase was over, I kind of was like after four songs out there, I was like, I don't know if this is you know, I'm as good at this as >> [laughter] >> as I would like [clears throat] to. Mhm.
48:26
And then Jimmy suggested that I find representation in acting. And I did.
48:30
And um that's how it started.
48:33
You know, I got Quantico, which was Amazing.
48:37
>> of auditions, which was also one of my first auditions in like years. Yeah.
48:42
Terrifying in itself, the whole process.
48:44
Cuz when I was working in Bollywood, I'd reached a point where, you know, people knew my work.
48:48
So, I didn't you know, I'd get direct offers.
48:52
>> [laughter] >> I just you know, the whole It's so crazy that as actors we do this.
48:58
And you know, rejection is such a large part of part of it, too.
49:04
But that first time when I walked into that um audition hall and there were all of these girls on a chair and I realized they were all here for the same part.
49:17
That was a crazy feeling.
49:19
And [snorts] And does everyone like look similar? Is that the goal?
49:21
Or they Or Or was that different because you're doing it here?
49:27
>> different for that show because they were It was written for an American girl, that show, which I clearly wasn't. But I'm an actor.
49:35
And I was like, yeah, I can study an accent and I can I went to school here.
49:41
I'm I'm not unfamiliar with the States. >> Of course.
49:45
So, I, you know, worked on on being American because she was was an FBI agent and you know, um so, I I worked a lot on that.
49:52
I worked with acting coaches.
49:54
I really wanted to see if I was built for America.
50:01
Like cuz it takes a different gears almost for anyone who's familiar with, you know, Bollywood and Holly it's just the industries are it's different.
50:11
So, the first few times for me, I I spent like about 6 months in LA.
50:18
I was also finishing a movie back in India that time called Bajirao Mastani.
50:24
So, I was flying back and forth a lot.
50:27
And um I just was like I do I have what it takes first and foremost to do that?
50:32
And which meant kind of erasing my accomplishments up until now when I walked into a room.
50:41
And I was it took me a little bit of talking to myself to do that.
50:47
I was like, "Okay, what are my choices?
50:50
My choices are to do limited parts and see what that'll turn out to be like, to do music, which I kind of thought I was mediocre in, or to try and work in a completely new industry, which um you know, you have to start all the way >> way to the bottom again. >> bottom again.
51:12
And that's all right, cuz the edge that I had is I was not new. So, I knew my job. >> Yeah, yeah.
51:21
>> I knew what it's like to be on a big budget movie.
51:23
I knew what it likes what it's like to be the lead of a part, like To hold the attention on screen, to >> stand on your mark, say the lines, know where the lights are, know where like I know the profession, I know my craft.
51:36
So, that's the edge that I have >> yeah.
51:38
>> over, you know, um like someone newer who is coming into that space.
51:43
And I think that's what really helped me is I focused on my craft. I focused on the job.
51:46
I took away the noise of you know, well, you've done like 50 movies in India or you've been on the cover of this magazine.
51:54
Why should you like that thing that we do to ourselves, which is, you know, you can get in your own way.
52:02
I choose to I chose to get out of my way. Wow.
52:03
And I don't know which part of my survival helped me do that. I I really don't know.
52:13
It was a really dark period of my life.
52:16
>> [gasps] >> You know, moving here, being alone, losing my dad, losing like friendships and, you know, my family. My mom was not here. Nobody Belonging.
52:27
belonging in a rented apartment not sure if I should live in New York or live in Mumbai living out of suitcases for a couple like for many years. Um it was just tough. And I don't know.
52:42
I just I was like, I need to get out of my way.
52:44
I need something to give.
52:45
I need something to work.
52:48
And it was many, many years of >> [gasps] >> trying to figure out what'll stick where I just like put my head down and I was like, just do the work. I worked on my scenes.
53:01
I went in for the audition. I got the job.
53:04
I continued working on because that didn't mean that the show gets picked up if you just did the pilot.
53:11
Um I continued working on like other things, you know, looking at movies, working with acting coaches.
53:19
Just learning scenes, learning how to speak in English language.
53:21
Not speak, but delivering dialogues in the English language.
53:26
I my brain was tuned to impro- improvising in Hindi.
53:31
I can do that cuz I'd done so much work in the Hindi language.
53:34
So it was a pivot of my brain as well to be able to read sides in English and deliver those lines.
53:42
So, I worked with a lot of acting coaches, all amazingly talented people, both in New York and LA to kind of be able to get more comfortable with that.
53:53
And um yeah, I just decided to focus on the work and slowly picked up and you know, it took a lot of like smaller parts, figuring out, you know, where I land to now, you know, producing the movies that I work in.
54:09
It was a long journey, emotionally traumatic, um in many ways personally for me, but I'm happy to be on the other side of it. Yeah, absolutely.
54:22
I mean, when you described that period of your life as drowning Yeah.
54:25
and transitioning away from the industry and then finding air even in the newness of music and and how that comes in.
54:34
I mean, that and then adding on all the context you just gave us of how hard that time was, whether it was personally with your father, whether it's professionally with new work, new industry. Just not knowing anyone.
54:47
>> Just not knowing anyone, the loneliness that comes with it.
54:49
I mean, it sounds like you you put you said it in your own words, it's a really dark time. It's It's It was tough. Yeah.
54:56
It felt really dark, but I think the fact that I could pull myself out of it with the help of, you know, some amazing people that came into my life, like Ange, like Jimmy, like um Dana, um my team in India, Natasha.
55:11
Like, these are people that like really held me together >> [gasps] >> at that time when I didn't have friends and family around me.
55:21
You know, we've all worked together now for 15 to 20 years, but, you know, I was very lucky to have had picked people around me that didn't let me feel the weight and the gravity of what it felt like to me, cuz it may not have been the reality.
55:36
Yeah, yeah, but it >> like that to me.
55:39
And now, you know, I acknowledge feelings.
55:40
[laughter] So, this is me >> there.
55:44
We're getting >> This is me acknowledging what I felt those 12, 14 years ago.
55:47
When I My What are we in 2026? This was 2010. >> 15, 16 years ago. >> But I felt like that.
55:55
Yeah, well, it's I I think it's fascinating that we we don't necessarily give people the credit they deserve when they're here with us and living on the planet and you know, that that is it's a really >> think about that so much.
56:09
>> an interesting human trait.
56:11
>> I always think about that so much.
56:11
And you know, I actually started thinking about it after my dad, honestly, because it was such a personal loss um for me and I there was so many people that came out for we call it a called it his celebration ceremony, but it's actually the chautha, which happens on the fourth day after you lose someone um in Hinduism. >> Mhm.
56:37
And so, you give the family like 4 days to mourn and fourth day, you know, everyone else can start coming in to give their wishes.
56:46
And there were so many people that celebrated my father and spoke so highly of him and and I was like, why didn't you say that to him when he was here? Mhm.
56:59
He would have loved to hear that.
57:01
And I have started actually making a practice in my life of reaching out to people just if I think of them or if I see some good work or you know, someone's on my mind and I haven't been in touch with them for many, many years, I'll just send a text saying "Hey, I'm thinking of you. I appreciate you."
57:20
And um it's usually like takes people They're like, "Why are you texting me after 10 years?" I feel like it heals me. Mhm.
57:27
Every time I think of you know, seeing someone's achievement or because I would have wanted that I would want that for me and I would want that for I think everybody deserves to hear if that you are appreciated or that you mean something to someone or you've done something that moved somebody. Yeah.
57:48
Um and we should try and do that while people are on this planet.
57:51
And it just takes a text or a thought.
57:57
The more you start doing it it's butterfly effect of just niceness. Yeah.
58:02
Yeah, and I love that you spoke about your father because this isn't about doing it for people just in the public eye.
58:07
It's just the idea of life.
58:08
Like this is Not at all in the public eye.
58:11
>> not a public eye thing.
58:11
It's just >> about like nobody needs to know this.
58:14
This is between you and that person. >> Yeah, exactly. >> on Instagram.
58:16
Yeah, that's why I love what you said about your dad.
58:18
Like it's >> it's a text.
58:19
Like >> Yeah, it's just people need to know while they're here, while they're living, while they're breathing how you feel about them.
58:25
feel about them. And for people to be celebrated and honored while they're here with us because yeah, you see all the time someone passes away and all of a sudden there's a eruption of love and joy, but it's like they weren't experiencing that while
58:40
they were alive and what a loss what a loss not only for them, but for us to even have the opportunity to express that gratitude or notice that about them or observe >> a privilege to be able to express to someone what you feel for them. Mhm. As a world, Mhm.
58:53
As a world, as a society, we don't encourage our young or our ourselves enough to be able to be honest when you feel something for someone.
59:05
Just appreciating people.
59:07
I didn't know that at all when I was younger.
59:10
It's again, I guess as you evolve in life.
59:15
But in my 20s, I was like my attitude literally was everyone is doing their job. Yeah.
59:20
>> So, you know, I'm doing my job.
59:20
I'm not apprecia- I'm not expecting appreciation.
59:24
So, why should anybody else expect appreciation? >> Mhm. It was so tough. >> Yeah.
59:31
>> [laughter] >> And >> hard hard on yourself.
59:33
>> I I guess I I was um allowing myself to not have the expectation of appreciation because I never got it. Yes.
59:41
So I think it came my attitude came from protecting myself. Now I understand this.
59:46
At that time, like even few years back I was like that I would just I was like I don't expect you to say I did an amazing job or if my scene is right I'm not expecting the director to be like clap for me.
59:58
So why do I have to do that for people?
1:00:01
It was like such a tough like attitude.
1:00:05
Um but I understood why because you know I would not get appreciation.
1:00:07
I was navigating this >> [laughter] >> um insane new industry and I didn't want to have to seek it. Mhm.
1:00:16
So I built this wall where I was like nobody needs it. But you do. Everyone does.
1:00:22
And you know now I've understood that it's just I don't know where what that learning was but I think just appreciating people is just nice.
1:00:37
>> [laughter] >> It's nice.
1:00:38
But I love the self-reflection of it that again it's we I think we all go through that phase where you're really blocking something because you're right we don't want to want validation. No one wants to want it. >> Yeah. But you do. >> of like it. >> Yeah.
1:00:53
And then and then you're fighting against that feeling of why do I want it?
1:00:57
I shouldn't want it and therefore no one else should want it. >> Yeah.
1:01:00
But really deep down we all need it because I was saying to someone today like I was we were talking about the need for usefulness.
1:01:05
Like everyone wants to feel useful. Yeah.
1:01:06
We think people want to feel important or significant or celebrated and it's like most of us like good humans are not narcissists or living in a we just want to feel useful.
1:01:17
And it's when you don't feel useful to someone that you feel valueless and helpless and Like did I add something? >> Exactly.
1:01:24
All we want to do is bring something to the table. Yeah.
1:01:26
And without having to ask for it. Yeah.
1:01:28
You know, you don't want to have to ask like do I bring value? Yeah.
1:01:33
You know, um and especially when you're starting out in any job you're like you if you're told even once that you bring value, it just it makes you want to do better work, you know? >> Correct.
1:01:46
And I think that why I did that to myself was because I didn't know if I would get it and I didn't want to put myself in a position where I had the expectations and then I was let down. Of course.
1:01:58
>> So I just normalized the fact that nobody needs appreciation. I don't need it. You don't need it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.
1:02:04
Yeah, we repeat what we reward. Yeah.
1:02:06
So if we reward the feeling of oh, I don't want it I don't need it, we're going to repeat that.
1:02:10
If we if we reward someone for putting in effort and doing good work, that person will repeat it because that's what inspires all of us.
1:02:18
I I really appreciate you going there on on that theme of just how hard that transition was because I think from the outside you make it look easy.
1:02:25
But but not like I said no one's business.
1:02:28
>> Yeah, no one's business.
1:02:28
Like it's hard for me to talk about personal struggles because there's just so much hardship in the world.
1:02:36
Like I feel really like even what was hard for me it's not as hard as what everybody like there's so many people going through so much worse.
1:02:49
So there is a part of myself that still is hard on myself for [laughter] um you know >> Because it's not hard enough.
1:02:55
Yeah, your life is not hard enough.
1:02:57
You're like don't you shouldn't be feeling that way. Don't be silly.
1:03:01
Like but you know, like everyone has struggles in their lives and it it's tough to talk about it because you're like like what was so hard about that? Yeah.
1:03:13
>> Just personally it was. Yeah.
1:03:13
Yeah, not in context or comparison to anyone else.
1:03:17
It's It's acknowledging how you feel.
1:03:17
I mean, that seemed like a big transition for you and when Nick was on the show, he spoke so vulnerably and openly about the birth of your daughter, which was traumatic to say the least and of course amazing, but in the in that moment just how heavy it was and difficult it was just for both of you and going through that process.
1:03:37
I wanted to ask you if you were comfortable sharing from your heart and your words what that experience was like for you.
1:03:44
The whole thing was tough because our journey to multi itself was really rough.
1:03:51
I don't want to get into details because I'm not I don't know if I'm Mhm. ready Mhm. to talk about it. Mhm.
1:03:59
But it was uh very hard on me.
1:04:06
And she's a miracle baby because she was my like only hope at that time to be able to have a baby.
1:04:14
So when we were told that she's coming like at 27 weeks, I just shut down.
1:04:21
I remember I sat in front of a fire fireplace in our house for I think like 9 hours or something.
1:04:33
And for someone who's always so solution-oriented, I didn't have a thought in my brain.
1:04:41
And Nick was somewhere and he came back and we just he grabbed me below the car and our dogs and we drove.
1:04:52
It was COVID time and just the situation under which she was born was so much duress for everyone involved and it was just really intense. She was purple.
1:05:11
Um and like we didn't know.
1:05:19
Uh the NICU nurses couldn't like their little finger was too big for her mouth.
1:05:31
How they intubated her um was like I still see that image.
1:05:42
Um and thankfully everything was fine with our surrogate.
1:05:48
Um so we could focus our energy and just I was just numb.
1:05:52
I I just remember like I didn't know what to do or how to be useful in that moment.
1:06:02
We went with her to the NICU.
1:06:05
One of us was allowed at a time.
1:06:09
And she cried the first time and it was like a cat.
1:06:14
Like just a just like that's all we got.
1:06:19
My mom flew down, my in-laws flew down.
1:06:23
But we were in the hospital and it was such a personally traumatic time.
1:06:29
But somehow because we were in and out of the hospital I remember it leaked and we got a text saying that it's going to her birth is going to be put out by the papers.
1:06:43
Um and I don't want to give credence to who sent us that um message or which network it was.
1:06:50
But um that if we don't like they're going to put it out in 3 hours.
1:06:54
So we were kind of forced into announcing her birth which cuz we wanted to hold on to our own narrative of of it but we weren't ready cuz we We know what would happen with her, how she would be.
1:07:08
>> [gasps] >> Um It was 3 months, almost 110 days. We stopped everything.
1:07:16
We were in the hospital every day.
1:07:20
With her, we did shifts so that she could be on our skin.
1:07:24
Um the nurses said from day two of life that we should be doing skin-to-skin, so Nick would sing to her on his guitar.
1:07:35
I used to have this little iPod which played all my mantras, my Maha Mrityunjaya mantra, my Gayatri mantra, my Om Namah Shivaya, like all of it would play all day in like inside her crib just softly.
1:07:50
There were a lot of people praying for her.
1:07:53
She was very, very desired, very coveted, and treasured because she was so hard.
1:08:01
It was so hard her journey um to get to this planet.
1:08:06
And she had like six blood transfusions.
1:08:11
You know, I used to feel like she looked just like Nick and I as a combination, but everyone says that she looked like him.
1:08:20
But even in those days like as soon as we would be switching out, like she would recognize our voices and smile.
1:08:25
Like just her eyes weren't open, but she would have a little like slight smile.
1:08:30
And if you ever meet our daughter, she has like the most glorious smile on the planet, like full face laugh.
1:08:39
So, it was >> [sighs and gasps] >> a brutal time, but I think I talked to myself when I'm in tough situations.
1:08:46
Once I got out of the stunned nature of it, I realized how afraid she must have been.
1:08:55
So, I didn't have the privilege of being upset or afraid.
1:09:00
I had to show up as her mom, And I had to be tough through it. I had to smile for her.
1:09:07
I had to equip myself to take care of a preemie baby.
1:09:14
And make sure she's the healthiest that she can be.
1:09:17
And that's just what my focus turned into.
1:09:20
And I was like it is not about me or him.
1:09:24
And this happened like immediately as soon as that she was on my chest for the first time at almost 27 and a half weeks or like two or three days after.
1:09:35
And she was so tiny that her fingers felt like butterflies on me.
1:09:40
She was just like this little 1 lb 11 oz.
1:09:44
In that moment, I was like I will go to the ends of the earth to protect you.
1:09:51
It's a feeling I have never felt before.
1:09:53
And I think every first-time parent says that.
1:09:59
But it's like your heart is beating outside of your body.
1:10:02
And especially with her cuz she was so vulnerable.
1:10:07
I became a tigress about everything.
1:10:12
From her nutrition to you know, her medication to her transfusions to Nick and I as a team we didn't have to talk to each other. It was just done.
1:10:28
We used to look at one another and you know, we'd have the diaper bag.
1:10:30
We'd have like tomorrow we have to tomorrow's her bath day.
1:10:33
We'd have the bath like all the little things.
1:10:37
Make sure that you know, she has this much of milk and is she just every little thing about her to make sure she gets to that weight and just survives was the only order of business.
1:10:51
Everything else took a backseat.
1:10:54
And the day we brought her home, she was still so tiny.
1:10:59
And I have a big mandir in our house >> Mhm.
1:11:02
with a big Shivji's murti.
1:11:04
I really I'm a big Shiv bhakt.
1:11:04
I really believe that, you know, Bhole Baba has guided me through Mhm.
1:11:11
every difficult moment in my life and I've like sat on his shoulders.
1:11:17
And we just as a family sat in front of his vision and I think that's the first time I really wept.
1:11:28
She was still so tiny, but I just I wept for the grace that she survived.
1:11:37
The gratitude that she was home. That she chose us.
1:11:42
That we could make this happen where, you know, she could be in this world and have this thriving life. Um IVF is tough.
1:11:54
And everything that contributed to her being on this earth, I was just so grateful for.
1:12:02
And just relieved and after that, we had, um, you know, big havan for her when she came home.
1:12:09
And, [clears throat and snorts] um, her naming ceremony and and then it just it became real. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Of course.
1:12:21
I think anyone who hears that, just, you know, so sorry you had to go through that and sorry that the family had to go through it together as well and I used to I was thinking about it, you know, cuz I saw on your podcast when Nick talked about it and, um, I knew we would talk about it also.
1:12:43
But, um, I was kind of thinking about like why.
1:12:47
I've started thinking a lot about the whys in my life.
1:12:48
Like how how did I navigate that?
1:12:52
Because when you're doing it, you just do it, right?
1:12:53
You just take your choices.
1:12:55
You're not really thinking about the why.
1:12:57
But, in retrospect, I like to kind of unpick at that a little bit.
1:13:02
And I was unpicking at it, and I guess my choice to have kids at a later stage contributed to this being a really tough journey for me.
1:13:17
But, if I would have done it earlier, would have have been the wrong time.
1:13:22
It wouldn't have been her.
1:13:24
So, I have to I kind of made my peace with the fact that this journey came from making the right choice for me and for my biggest flex, honestly, I feel is I'm living this life with the right guy, with the right father for this incredible baby that we have.
1:13:53
And that was meant to be.
1:13:57
And the journey was meant to be.
1:14:00
I feel really blessed to be on the other side of it, like I said, but it couldn't have been any other way. Yeah.
1:14:08
So, you have to kind of forgive yourself.
1:14:11
Yeah, I feel like that overthinking brain Yeah.
1:14:13
of well, if I did it this time, if I could have done it like this, we did it She wouldn't have had to deal with >> have had to deal with it.
1:14:18
Yeah, then >> what she went through, but it >> like, "Oh, it would be a different soul.
1:14:22
It would be a different >> be different >> Yeah. person.
1:14:24
And it would be different heart, different circumstances, yeah.
1:14:28
Different like, I don't know what that would have been like.
1:14:29
I can't speak to that, whether it would be good, whether it would be bad.
1:14:32
It just wouldn't be this. Yeah. And this is great.
1:14:37
So, you know, I can't speak for the parallel lanes of >> yeah, but that's what the brain does. So, what the mind does. life.
1:14:45
Yeah, that's what the mind like I was trying to bring back to the present and the gratitude of you know, our little family and being able to be together. Yeah.
1:14:56
Yeah, the mind plays all those games of Yeah.
1:15:00
the sliding doors and if this then that and shoulda coulda woulda and and it's it's fascinating.
1:15:06
I love how much faith in your life is such a Yeah.
1:15:10
central pillar of a stronghold of how you, you know, come back to that and I know that's been there since day one, right?
1:15:17
With your family and First of all, I think when you grow up in India, it's kind of ingrained in whatever religion you might grow up in and faith is a big part of Indian spirituality.
1:15:28
And you know, we are a country of multiple religions.
1:15:32
Um so I was very influenced by just faith in general.
1:15:40
The multicultural nature of my family as well.
1:15:42
My grandmother's Catholic, you know. Um my massi is Muslim.
1:15:47
Uh my we were grown up raised as Hindus but I went to like a Catholic school.
1:15:54
Like it was just a lot of influences and to me faith is basically a relationship with something larger than yourself. Mhm.
1:16:04
And religion is your path to get there. Mhm.
1:16:08
And it's unique to everyone and every journey.
1:16:12
But I've had a really really strong faith in my life since I was a kid.
1:16:16
Both my parents did, especially um with Lord Shiva. Mhm.
1:16:20
And you know, we've been Shiv bhakts from when we were kids and that's a big pillar of my faith and um it's really gotten me through really scary times and tough times.
1:16:35
Like I kind of just like close my eyes and go into a little box where I'm just talking to my God.
1:16:47
Like I'm just talking to Bhole Baba and I'm like I say my prayer and I'm say you'll get me through it and it's like I feel safe >> Mhm. in the box.
1:16:54
It's almost like I'm held and somehow I come through it. Mhm.
1:16:57
And that's what it is, right?
1:16:59
Like faith should feel like a hug, like a safe place.
1:17:06
And my faith has always felt like that to me. >> Mhm.
1:17:10
Thank you for sharing that.
1:17:10
It's uh it's uh as as hard as it is to hear and also to hear how hard it was for all of you.
1:17:16
It's inspiring and hope giving I think to so many to to just hear about how you all came together, how that hope and that fight and that persistence and the shifts that you both did for, you know, the months that you both switched for and probably not even seeing each other much in the change over because you're trying to give time and and the way you both describe her as the miracle baby.
1:17:39
It's such a, you know, >> Yeah.
1:17:41
such a beautiful >> Her soul was meant to be here. Yeah.
1:17:42
And she clawed her way into life. Yeah.
1:17:48
>> And I will celebrate that every day. Mhm. And so will Nick.
1:17:51
Like we celebrate her every day.
1:17:54
She literally said that yesterday to me.
1:17:56
She's like, "Mama, my birthday just doesn't end."
1:18:00
And I was like, "It doesn't." >> That's amazing. >> you every day. That's right.
1:18:03
Cuz somebody came in and got her a present.
1:18:06
Her birthday is in January. Yeah.
1:18:06
So she's like, "It just doesn't end."
1:18:10
>> [laughter] >> And I was like, "And it won't." >> That's so cute.
1:18:13
>> Every day I love that. >> I love that.
1:18:15
Well, Priyanka, we've reached out to um I reached out to Nick um to share a letter for you uh that I could share with you.
1:18:24
So, I'm going to read it to you.
1:18:28
>> this on the day you did the podcast? >> No, no, no, no, no. In between. Oh.
1:18:29
In between, not on the day.
1:18:33
So, I'm going to read it to you from Nick.
1:18:35
So, this is from Nick to Priyanka.
1:18:38
So, he said he says my Jan, which I love.
1:18:41
I like just seeing him write that is beautiful. Wow.
1:18:43
This is the first time I'm reading it, too. So, I've not read it.
1:18:45
I always save it because I'm not I don't like reading it before it comes. So, I've never read it. >> I'm embarrassed.
1:18:50
He says my Jan, I'm constantly in awe of the person you are.
1:18:54
It's not just the big titles, global icon, leader, force of nature.
1:18:56
It's how you show up as a mother, a daughter, a sister, and my wife.
1:19:02
The focus and thoughtfulness you bring to every single day is something I try to live up to.
1:19:08
Everyone sees the public side of you, but it's who you are in the quiet moments that really floors me.
1:19:14
You have this incredible patience and a way of listening that makes people feel completely safe.
1:19:20
I've seen people who usually keep their guards way up just let it go all around you finding a kind of healing they didn't know they needed.
1:19:29
One of my favorite qualities about you is that you truly never judge.
1:19:31
You just meet people where they're at and always find the good in people. That's a rare thing.
1:19:38
You're a leader in every sense in these last 8 years I've watched you take on challenges that would have broken most people.
1:19:45
Whether it's on a set or navigating the massive life change of moving countries and blending two very different worlds, you do it with a fire that honestly lights me up.
1:19:54
You've stayed so true to your roots while adapting with a kindness that seems to never run out.
1:20:00
I'm so incredibly proud of you.
1:20:00
I know your dad is looking down with that same pride seeing the woman you continue to be.
1:20:07
As you talk with Jay today and he better have those tissues ready, >> [laughter] >> just know that Malti Marie and I are right there with you.
1:20:15
You're the center of our universe.
1:20:17
Building this life with you is the greatest honor I have.
1:20:18
Knowing we're a team gives me a sense of peace I can't even describe.
1:20:25
No matter what life throws at us, I know we can handle it together.
1:20:27
I love you endlessly, Nick Jonas. That's crazy, man. Where are tissues? >> They're next to you. The said promised. I know.
1:20:35
I'm like I can't believe Nick. He's like all the time. I know. I know. I'm like Nick, come on.
1:20:39
He's like No, his wife knows what'll get me. Well, that's beautiful. Um I I love your love.
1:20:47
Uh long may it flourish and continue and thrive and I'm so glad that Malti Marie has both of your love as well and I hope that continues as well. Um you've been so kind.
1:20:59
I hope that was a I know he says it to you every day probably anyway, but um >> He is one to say it. >> He is one to say it.
1:21:06
>> not one to not say it and I think he promised me that very early in our engagement actually.
1:21:15
He [snorts] said when he asked my mom for my hand in marriage, which he did before even asked me. What a gentleman.
1:21:22
Um but he said I promised your mom that I'll always keep you happy.
1:21:28
And that's going to be my quest, is your happiness.
1:21:33
And I'll always tell you how loved you are. Mhm.
1:21:37
And you can say that like when you just get married. >> Yeah, of course.
1:21:40
>> But to keep up with it. >> Yeah.
1:21:42
And to make sure he tells me Mhm. in little things.
1:21:46
I was just I told you I was um I'm purging my house at the moment because we've just moved back to LA, right?
1:21:52
So I'm like switching it out for what's right for us now.
1:21:55
So I have this memory drawer in which I keep cards.
1:21:59
I love the cards that people write me and love a handwritten note.
1:22:03
So I was pulling out all my cards and they're all mixed up.
1:22:07
And all of these letters that Nick has written to me over the years.
1:22:13
And I put them all together and I was just reading them and right from the beginning he just always told me.
1:22:21
And you know, it's the simplest thing.
1:22:25
But tell your loved ones you love them. >> Mhm.
1:22:27
It makes such a big difference. Absolutely.
1:22:30
Such an important reminder and especially if you can write that well as well.
1:22:35
Marry [laughter] a musician. >> Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
1:22:36
Priyanka, [snorts] we we now end you didn't do this last time.
1:22:40
We end every episode with these two fun games that we created.
1:22:43
Uh one's called would you rather and the other one's got reaction. >> Okay.
1:22:48
>> So would you rather is first up.
1:22:48
So Priyanka Chopra, this is your would you rather.
1:22:52
Would you rather play the hero or the villain for the rest of your career? In movies of course. Yeah, I think so.
1:22:59
I mean I do love playing a bad guy.
1:23:02
But it it would get boring for the rest of your life.
1:23:05
Cuz I don't know how creative I could get >> Yeah. with how many bad guys.
1:23:07
But I I'll say the villain. It's more interesting. >> the bluff. Okay. Yeah.
1:23:12
We're going to get to see you Well, I'm not a villain in the movie. >> No, you're not.
1:23:16
But we get to see you do a lot of crazy action scenes.
1:23:18
Yeah, you know, it's so this movie which um I've I've done a lot of work with Amazon Prime and this is another one of our collaborations.
1:23:29
But this movie is at such a pivotal point in my life because my character um is a former pirate who was known as Bloody Mary. >> Mhm. Self-titled. I mean you can tell why.
1:23:41
Um she was tough and gruesome and based off of um like Grace O'Malley from Ireland and many other female pirates that did exist at that time.
1:23:54
Whose lives were just insane.
1:23:54
Like if you read the books, it's like I can't imagine being a female and a pirate at that time.
1:24:01
But um why this movie really resonated with me is something I said earlier to you in the podcast.
1:24:05
Which is how far would you go to protect your family? Mhm.
1:24:11
How far would you go to protect your children?
1:24:12
And this is the story of a mother and a woman who says, "You're not coming for my family." >> Mhm.
1:24:20
One of the most amazing lines in this movie, which I really deeply resonated with, is "You come to my home, you threaten my family, and then I kill him."
1:24:33
And I say, "Where is my husband? Where is my husband?"
1:24:37
Every wife when they're playing golf, isn't it?
1:24:40
>> [laughter] >> I love that. That's so good.
1:24:43
>> But, um you know, I really it's it it's that's what I love about this movie. It's really fun.
1:24:47
It's like a bloody gory >> scenes are insane.
1:24:51
Like >> Yeah, it's like I love doing that.
1:24:52
It's gory, it's got drama, it's beautifully shot, um based in the Caribbean. >> Yeah. What more could you ask?
1:24:59
But, our director was in- humongously talented, Yeah. >> um Frankie Flowers.
1:25:05
>> Yeah, it's beautifully shot. What would you do? How far would you go?
1:25:09
And you've lived through that in your own version of that, yeah. And I will continue to. >> Yeah.
1:25:13
Like, I'll go to the ends of the earth to protect my family.
1:25:15
>> saw that in your eye when you said that.
1:25:17
I was like, "Wow, do not mess with your eye."
1:25:19
Don't come for my family.
1:25:21
>> in your eyes are like, "Jay, do not."
1:25:22
And I'm like, "Priyanka, I'm like, trying to be family."
1:25:24
I'm like, "This is [laughter] like, you know, this is uh that was I saw that in your eye."
1:25:27
You're like, you're like fully locked in there.
1:25:31
And and I was like, "Okay, I'm scared now."
1:25:34
All right, would you rather have to wear your Miss World crown to every major Hollywood premiere for the next year, or have to introduce yourself as Miss World 2000 in every room you enter? >> Oh, neither.
1:25:46
Oh, no, that's the worst.
1:25:46
Um one should be a Miss World choice, and the other one shouldn't be. Um neither.
1:25:53
I I'm very proud of that achievement for my 18-year-old self at that time, but it's not something I would care to do again. Okay.
1:26:02
>> [laughter] >> Uh would you rather accidentally send a flirty voice note meant for Nick to your entire production group chat, or accidentally read one of your own romantic text out loud thinking it was part of the script during a table read?
1:26:14
Well, I wouldn't do that.
1:26:16
>> [laughter] >> But, um I may have even done this.
1:26:19
Like, I am notoriously known for sending the wrong messages to the wrong people. >> Okay, got it.
1:26:25
So, um I think it would be funny. Yeah. >> [laughter] >> Yeah.
1:26:29
I think it'd be hilarious. >> Yeah.
1:26:30
All right, this one this one applies to The Bluff as well.
1:26:32
Would you rather film a brutal stunt sequence in one take, absolutely nail it, but get injured and never be allowed to do your own stunts again, or play it safe, let a stunt double take over, and always wonder if you could have done it yourself?
1:26:47
I have done enough work with incredible stunt teams to know when I can and when I can't. >> Wow.
1:26:53
I'm very very safe and practical. Yeah.
1:26:57
I'm not a hero when it comes to set.
1:26:59
I don't need to prove a point. I'm a professional.
1:27:02
>> [laughter] >> I go to set, I see what I have to do.
1:27:05
The Bluff especially, in fact, there's a lot of one-take scenes and a lot of injuries that I did get in this movie.
1:27:11
But, because it's a dramatic performance of a you know, stunt movie, it really required my face in everything.
1:27:16
It required me to convey the emotion of what I was feeling while I was in the stunt scenes.
1:27:24
So, I did a lot of it myself.
1:27:27
I was trained by um an incredible stunt team, my stunt coordinator and double, Anisha Gibbs, worked with me very very closely.
1:27:33
In fact, we shot a whole year, um the first 3 months was Heads of State.
1:27:39
While I was filming Heads of State, I was training for The Bluff. >> that was great. Thank you. Yeah, so much fun. >> It was so fun. >> It was so much fun.
1:27:46
So, in between shots, we would train the sword fighting sequences on set.
1:27:51
So, I just and John would be like, "We don't use swords in this movie."
1:27:55
>> [laughter] >> But, we would be training for the next one.
1:27:57
Right after I finished that in France, I flew to Australia 10 days 7 days in and started filming The Bluff, which was for 3 months.
1:28:06
So, it was just so intense, and you were right in um training happened while filming. >> Wow.
1:28:13
Learning choreography happened while filming.
1:28:15
So, I would get like a few hours off after finishing a scene and I would go learn my choreo or in between shots.
1:28:22
So, it was just like very alive and creative and but I'm very safe.
1:28:27
Like, I learned very early in my career that the person doing the stunt, you have to walk your path.
1:28:32
Even if your stunt double is checked it for you, you walk your path, you see if there's you know, a nail coming out from somewhere, if you could get injured, if you know, where you're falling doesn't have like a protrusion, like you have to be really practical in order to be able to pull off stunts and stuff like that. You can't be a hero.
1:28:52
I like I like the pragmatism and the practicality. Very useful. >> Can't be a hero. >> Great answer.
1:28:56
All right, one last one of would you rather and then we've got reactions.
1:28:59
So, would you rather perform I think I know the answer to this one because I saw you already do this and it was amazing.
1:29:04
Would you rather perform one full Jonas Brothers song on stage by yourself What?
1:29:08
in front of a sold-out stadium or open a Jonas Brothers show with a 5-minute stand-up monologue about your relationship?
1:29:16
>> I'll do the monologue.
1:29:16
>> You did so good on the roast.
1:29:18
>> [laughter] >> The roast is so good.
1:29:18
That is hands down still one of my favorite clips of you. Can I tell you a secret? >> Yeah, please. Nick wrote my roast. >> No! Did he actually? No, don't tell us that. Don't ruin it. It was so good.
1:29:31
>> But I'm not ruining it. That's our partnership.
1:29:33
>> Yeah, yeah, that's your partnership.
1:29:33
But your delivery was brilliant. >> Thank you.
1:29:35
I mean, he didn't write all of it.
1:29:37
He wrote he brought in a lot of amazing contributions. >> Wow.
1:29:41
>> Um He's good at He's good writer at comedy, too.
1:29:43
What what can't this guy do? >> knows his wife.
1:29:45
Like, he wanted to set me up for success.
1:29:48
And he was like, "You need to lean into this joke. You need to say that."
1:29:51
And I was like, "No, I don't want to address that." He was like, "Say it." >> good. >> thing was all Nick.
1:29:56
>> It was such a good joke.
1:29:57
>> like, "You have the most Instagram followers of all three of us combined."
1:30:01
And I was like, "I'm not saying that on your That was so good, though.
1:30:03
>> And he was like, "You have to say it."
1:30:05
Um so, you know, he he like he was like and yeah, that's our partnership where you know, we want to set each other up for success. I love that.
1:30:13
What a beautiful >> such a beautiful moment for me where he just like came up with his own roast. >> That's awesome. They were great jokes.
1:30:22
They they landed so well. Thank you.
1:30:24
>> All right, gut reactions your instincts your response because you did the final five with us last time.
1:30:28
So we made this up for you.
1:30:30
Uh, the thing I pretend I'm chill about but I'm not is most things.
1:30:38
>> [laughter] >> I literally come across as the most chill and most confident but inside I'm I'm like a duck. Under the water.
1:30:47
But up front you don't see anything.
1:30:50
So I'm stressed about most things.
1:30:53
The most unhinged thought I've had this week was >> [laughter] >> It's not unhinged but it's an honest thought. Yeah. Just came up actually. In your library.
1:31:06
So when we first moved into our house, I was filming a lot and you know, we had people who were doing the interiors um, and helping us with the interiors of our home.
1:31:14
So when I I have a library which is my pride and joy.
1:31:18
And um, so I walked into the library and the books were color coded.
1:31:22
And I was like, what are you doing?
1:31:24
Whose library is color coded?
1:31:28
Your >> [laughter] >> library was color coded.
1:31:29
I was like, Jay, do you read your books? Or are they just pretty? That's so good. That's so good. >> read them? I love it.
1:31:37
I'm glad Thank you for being honest. This is good. I like it. I like it. That's good. Well, I have two.
1:31:42
You will see the one in the house when we go there later today. So that's my bookshelf. That's my pride and joy. >> Yeah.
1:31:47
It's all mixed and messed up and everything.
1:31:49
>> See, that's like the >> And and this was like during Zoom days of pandemic.
1:31:52
So it was like everything's ordered. Yeah, exactly. You can tell. Uh, great answer. Great answer.
1:31:59
Um, the most humbling mom moment I've recently had was So being a working mom is tough.
1:32:03
I saw my mom being a working mom I and her mom. So I know it's doable.
1:32:10
Whenever me or my husband leave, either one of us are with Malti.
1:32:13
So if I'm traveling, he's with her.
1:32:15
Or we have the grandparents.
1:32:19
My in-laws who are beautiful and gracious.
1:32:21
While I'm doing this press tour, they're with our daughter. Um or my mom.
1:32:27
But uh I was packing up and I was leaving for a film shoot I'm working on a Indian movie called Varanasi in Hyderabad. >> Yeah. Congrats. So excited for this. >> Thank you. >> This is huge.
1:32:36
I just want to point out for everyone who doesn't know, it's like This is the gentleman who made RRR, Rajamouli.
1:32:42
Who's yeah, who's making uh Varanasi and it's uh it's amazing. It's congratulations.
1:32:48
>> part and an incredible movie and great partners in the movie.
1:32:51
So I've had to fly back and forth from Hyderabad like every month because I come back to Malti.
1:32:57
Um yeah, I literally my airline status has gone up because of this one movie.
1:33:04
Um but I was leaving and I was packing up and before I leave for a trip, we talk about it and we have this invisible string which is in her heart and my heart and you know, we talk about the fact that mom is gone for like 12 sleeps or 15 sleeps and um so we were having that chat.
1:33:20
And whenever she has real feelings, she talks to her babies because she is a mama.
1:33:27
Um and she has little dollies which are her babies and um so when I was leaving, she was looking at her baby and she says I'm such a good mama.
1:33:35
I don't leave you and go to work.
1:33:40
She's 3 and 1/2 at that time.
1:33:41
>> Oh gosh, that's heartbreaking.
1:33:41
So what was the question again?
1:33:45
>> [laughter] >> Yeah, that was my child.
1:33:47
>> the most humbling moment. Wow.
1:33:49
>> I was like my toes curled.
1:33:49
I was almost about to cancel my flight. >> Oh my god. I was so stressed out.
1:33:58
And then she laughed and smiled at me. She knew it was a joke.
1:34:00
You know, she jumped on me and I was like, "Don't say that."
1:34:04
And she was like, "No, mama, no."
1:34:06
Like she doesn't like getting me or Nick or any of us like upset.
1:34:10
She's very sensitive to that.
1:34:11
Um so, I but I was like I was thinking about it the whole flight. I drove home.
1:34:17
I was like, "Oh my gosh, first to child to humble you."
1:34:21
Yeah, that in one second. That was painful. That's heartbreaking. That's really humbling. That's I know. So heartbreaking. So tough. I know.
1:34:25
If I have a little girl, I'm going to be wrapped around her finger.
1:34:29
That's going to be so hard. >> It's over. It's so hard.
1:34:32
>> have that little voice and those eyes. >> Yeah. It's just over. >> That's crazy. That's crazy.
1:34:36
How does it feel to be going back to India to do a movie again after so many years?
1:34:39
If there was any film to be done, it would have been this.
1:34:44
Like this is the best way of going [clears throat] back into Indian films. I missed it so much.
1:34:50
I missed, you know, dancing.
1:34:53
I missed the chaos on set.
1:34:57
I missed the creativity and um with SS Rajamouli sir, he's so his mind is and his vision is so far beyond >> Mhm.
1:35:11
limited imagination that um just to be able to see what he's thinking and and kind of be the vessel to tell that story is great. My part is amazing.
1:35:21
I have like a beautiful graph of ups and downs in the movie.
1:35:26
Um my co-actors are great.
1:35:26
You know, it's awesome to be able to work with actors who like know their stuff, arrive, you know, on time, like are great to be around, are fun, and you know, it's it's been a really really gratifying journey so far. It's long. >> Mhm.
1:35:47
He takes a long time to make movies.
1:35:49
It's almost been 14 months, but you know, it's going to be really special and the journey of it has also been special.
1:35:57
In fact, I took Malti to Hyderabad once and she went to the farm and she saw like they had this beautiful farm outside of Hyderabad which you know, so his wife, his family they like run themselves. And it was so much fun.
1:36:10
You know, she met like calves and saw paddy fields and like ran around and it was beautiful.
1:36:19
I'm so excited for you for the bluff, for Varanasi, for your family.
1:36:21
It's congratulations on it all and thank you today for just, you know, sharing it as it is and what's going on behind the scenes and >> What all did I say?
1:36:33
>> What's what's happening?
1:36:33
You know, what's what's really going on?
1:36:35
You can tell me offline if we, you know, got there. I don't know.
1:36:37
I don't like that's the thing about you.
1:36:42
>> Yes, one when I'm doing an interview, I try not to think about it.
1:36:46
But you also like have this amazing innate quality of being able to like get people to talk about tough things without Very sweet.
1:36:53
feeling judged or without feeling critiqued.
1:36:57
I don't know what'll happen when these clips come out, >> [laughter] >> while we're on this couch it's real good.
1:37:04
Oh gosh, well no, I my my only intention is just that, you know, that that people get to talk about the things they don't get to talk about anywhere else and and people get to really understand what's going on when we think we know everything.
1:37:15
I think we live in a world right now where we we think we know what everyone's going through, we think we know what everyone believes. Yeah.
1:37:20
And and it's nice to have an opportunity to create space and I think it's not just creating space for each other, but hopefully this ripples out into people creating space in their families and their friends and Yeah, just with amongst each other.
1:37:31
Giving each other benefit of the doubt.
1:37:35
Yeah, some grace and space. Some goodness.
1:37:36
Believing in people's goodness.
1:37:40
I used to think actually Nick writes this in his letter.
1:37:44
But I used to think that was like one of my worst qualities because you I'm the worst judge of people.
1:37:54
I always see people for the good in them.
1:37:56
Like I don't understand like why would you have a bad agenda? >> Yeah, right, right.
1:38:00
Like why would >> Yeah, Radhi is Radhi is like that, [clears throat] too. Yeah.
1:38:03
It doesn't make sense in my brain.
1:38:05
Like why would you say something to me that you don't mean? Mhm. Mhm.
1:38:08
It's so convoluted and exhausting to think about like but there are people like that in the world and as I've navigated, you know, many different countries, you have to and I'm raising a daughter like I want to be able to equip her to protect herself.
1:38:25
And sometimes that kind of transparency or just, you know, "Oh my gosh, what you're saying is probably what I'm getting" is not the right thing because, you know, there are tricky people in the world. >> Yeah. Yeah.
1:38:37
But um it's just tough on me.
1:38:40
I've just never been able to navigate that very well. Yeah.
1:38:43
It's a good quality as well. Is it though?
1:38:45
It's a little too trusting, Yeah, it's it's I mean I guess as long as you have good boundaries when you discover something, I think that's >> But the problem is the discovery.
1:38:56
>> Yeah, the discovery could be terrible.
1:38:57
It depends on how Or you never discover it cuz some people are really good at >> Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:39:01
maintaining, >> Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
1:39:05
like two-faced nature or whatever.
1:39:05
Yes, my husband's great at that. >> character.
1:39:09
Oh my god, he's the best judge of character. >> Yeah, yeah.
1:39:11
I don't know why he says that about me. I I'd like can't tell.
1:39:15
>> [laughter] >> I love that.
1:39:17
>> after you show me your cards.
1:39:17
Like after someone does something, I'm like, "That sucks." >> Yeah, yeah.
1:39:22
But I cannot tell without that.
1:39:25
>> [laughter] >> Well, you're a great partner, great team, great partnership.
1:39:27
Uh Priyanka, it's been a joy, truly.
1:39:30
It's been such a joy talking to you again.
1:39:31
I'm so glad to have you back on after 5 years.
1:39:34
>> I know I'm glad to be in the studio.
1:39:36
>> Please do not wait 5 years to come back.
1:39:38
I hope you come back sooner. >> sure.
1:39:39
Uh and congratulations >> actually.
1:39:41
In the studio instead of doing it virtually. >> Absolutely. You're the best. Congratulations. Thank you. >> You too.
1:39:46
Oh, you're doing production now. Yes. Yeah, we just announced.
1:39:50
Yeah, yeah, it's so exciting.
1:39:52
Having so much fun with it. >> Are you?
1:39:54
It's like, you know, when when you grow up where I grew up in London, I never believed in a million years that I'd ever have the opportunity to do something like this.
1:40:01
Especially what I what I thought I'd be when I grew up.
1:40:05
And so, the fact that I even have the opportunity is such a blessing and and such a fortune.
1:40:09
So, very excited about the projects we're working on and so proud of >> you.
1:40:13
I tell everyone navigating just your career, um, and maybe I'm saying this out of experience, but we are living in an incredible time where you can actually think of the most insane idea and monetize it. For everyone.
1:40:33
This is not just like for me as an actor.
1:40:35
In fact, it's limiting for me as an actor.
1:40:37
But, like you can you know, go beyond the medium that you've been given.
1:40:44
Like you could be a content creator, you could become a producer, you could write yourself a story, and you know, fund it.
1:40:49
You could be enterprising.
1:40:52
I tell every person who's navigating this ever-changing world of of any um, you know, any business that you might be in.
1:41:01
With AI, with There's so much change. Like, be enterprising.
1:41:07
Be an entrepreneur for yourself.
1:41:09
Learn to sell yourself and your strength.
1:41:13
And understand that, you know, the end goal might look really large.
1:41:19
Like, you know, you're working with Netflix and you're producing TV shows.
1:41:22
Like, that's insane if you tell your 10-year-old self. Totally.
1:41:26
Yeah, even my 20-year-old self.
1:41:26
Or even your 20-year-old self.
1:41:28
But, you're enterprising and you know your strengths and and that's just good business.
1:41:32
And to be able to be excited about the opportunity is very humble of you, but I would like to applaud the fact that you've been able to build that road for yourself and you've been enterprising for yourself and you know, built yourself into such a strong business and that's just what I really encourage everyone to think like that for yourself.
1:41:55
You know, it and dreams just we're at a time where it's kind of magical. Absolutely.
1:42:00
Well, it's it's people like yourself and even the story you shared today about pivots that may not even be the end point.
1:42:06
It may not even be the direction. >> the journey.
1:42:09
People like yourself and I think it's really inspiring when you're at the top of your game, you can pivot, try something, go no, this isn't me and then move again and win and it's like that.
1:42:20
I think watching people do that, people like yourself, I think it sets such a great example for everyone to not and and everyone around you will tell you the opposite by the way.
1:42:28
Like when I wanted to start doing this, everyone's like, "Jay, like you know your lane, like just do your thing, like know your lane."
1:42:35
And I was just like, "What is my lane?"
1:42:36
Like I didn't know this existed 10 years ago.
1:42:40
>> It's the worst advice, yeah.
1:42:41
>> Never stay in your lane.
1:42:41
That's like the worst advice because everyone is running so hard to find a lane. Yeah.
1:42:49
Like when you have something that's unique, which you do, about yourself, you can pivot that into anything.
1:42:55
Creativity is not limited to like a book.
1:42:57
If you're a writer, you could write a screenplay. >> Yeah, totally.
1:43:00
You could write a script. >> Yeah.
1:43:01
You could turn that writing and [snorts] problem-solving skill set into production.
1:43:07
You could turn production into direct like it could I I'm just talking about my field because I just know my field.
1:43:13
But, you know, even being able to pivot and navigate within the industry or the medium that you know is is really cool.
1:43:24
To open your mind up for that.
1:43:24
Never ever actually stay in your lane.
1:43:26
Yeah, well, you've you've set the standard and you've paved the way and shown a great example, so Thank you.
1:43:32
Uh happy to get your mentorship and guidance and [clears throat] and all the steering insights you have for me for sure along the way. >> for you. >> you. Thank you.
1:43:41
>> wait to hear more about it. >> so sweet.
1:43:43
>> If you're feeling inspired by this episode, you won't want to miss my conversation with Wicked's Cynthia Erivo.
1:43:50
>> We are afraid to let a person go, and we need to be okay with letting people go.
1:43:54
We don't know what path people are walking on when they walk into our lives.
1:43:58
We might just be a stepping stone in their path, just like stepping stones in their life.