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Let's just set the scene for everybody right now.
Let's just set the scene for everybody right now.
When everyone gets to watch and listen to this, the album is out.
But also people everyone should know it's a few days before it actually comes out.
So we're in this weird kind of drywall between reality and fantasy. >> Yeah.
I It's There's a lot of feelings in my body right now.
>> to ask you how you feel.
It's It's It's It's It's rare to be so close to the release of a record knowing that it's inevitable.
This thing you've lived with and loved that taught you so much about yourself is about to belong to everybody else.
Are you ready to let it go? >> I I am. I have to be.
But yeah, it's just even walking in here and hearing you play master brains on the speakers here.
It's like so I I've like never seen multiple people listen to that song before.
It's always been like, "Oh, I'm going to play it for a friend." or whatever.
And just like being in this room it it just takes on a life of its own in like such a beautiful way.
And I think it's definitely scary but but super necessary. Yeah.
>> How mad did you drive yourself finishing it with Dan in the mixing room trying to figure out the nuances?
I know you're a detail person.
>> I'm I I was kind of insane about it this time around.
Just like little things that I'm sure nobody else in the world would ever pick up on but just like stupid mix master things. I don't know.
I I feel like the older that I get the more I care about stuff like that.
I think when I made Sour I was so like, "Oh, if the lyrics are cool I like it." And I was like, "Yeah. Yeah. Just be quieter.
Can you hear what I'm saying?"
Like that's all that I cared about.
But it's it's it's been a fun process.
I always I always just feel like every time that I make a record I'm like learning how to make a record as I go.
And just the songs are the byproduct of my learning. You know what I mean?
I never I feel like I'll never be like, "I know exactly how to do this. I'm a perfect musician." It's all just that Yeah.
And that's what keeps it fun and exciting.
And so every day is just a learning opportunity.
>> Well, these songs are going to take you to new places. I mean they just do.
You know, even a song like stupid song which is you know, you're no stranger to to a dynamic shift.
You know, you like to begin with just yourself and an instrument finding something intimate to say something truthful.
And then you'll end and we'll be at a top of something with you.
But I feel like this album you really pushed yourself in a lot of ways in those dynamic shifts and really forced yourself to try to find new ways to reach what you mean. >> Yeah, yeah. Thank you.
That's a real compliment.
Yeah, I I love a song that has dynamics and grows and ebbs and flows and I think especially with this album which is sort of all about falling in love.
I think falling in love is a really volatile feeling and I wanted the music sonically to reflect that.
>> half is certainly about falling in love.
>> half, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The second half is maybe about the falling in love with yourself. Maybe. >> Yeah, maybe, maybe.
That's a good way to put it.
>> Um but yeah, I mean, I think the feelings that I was experiencing while making this album were very up and down and high and low and so I I wanted to have songs that reflected that.
And also I just I love that type of song.
It's like it's like the structure that I really enjoy.
I like love reaching like a big bridge and having some moment of catharsis.
I just feel like that structure works well for me and is so fun for me to create.
>> It's got to come from somewhere.
I think the first time we ever spoke we were just talking before we started recording this conversation about how the first conversation we had was in quarantine.
I think driver's license had like been out for 2 days and we immediately dialed into taste, like straight away.
You may or may not remember this.
I very very specifically remember talking about how your parents and you know, really informed your music taste.
You grew up in a in a house of of rock and roll, of hard rock, of of emotional rock and roll, of dynamic shifts.
You know, the light, the quiet bits, the loud bits.
Um you know, did can you really trace your music back to those moments, those key childhood moments of hearing music when it was when you could absorb it for the first time and it really moved you? >> Yeah, oh my god.
I mean, I it's still I I luckily like I feel like I still listen to albums for the first time these days and I'm like, "What the hell?
Oh my god, how have I not heard this?"
I feel like that love, that like childlike wonder and and like appetite for music hasn't gone away, luckily, thankfully.
But um yeah, I mean, when you're like 13 years old and you discover like Tapestry by Carole King for the first time, you're like, "Oh my god."
And your life just was like in black and white before and now it's in color.
It's just like such a beautiful, magical experience.
And I think definitely my parents were a huge um part of that for me.
My parents are not very artistic or creative and they're the most wonderful, but they just love music so much.
And even like going to concerts with them today, like yesterday I not yesterday, maybe like 3 days ago I saw The Cure with my dad and we were just like holding each other singing Pictures of You and I'm like this is so beautiful.
Like we're just like crying.
Like that's just a thing in my family.
We're very very emotional when it comes to music.
It's sort of our thing, so.
>> They've been with you obviously not just in life, that goes without saying.
Well, actually sadly it doesn't always go without saying, but luckily for us it does. >> Yeah.
>> Um but also they've they've, you know, been able to see you discover yourself through art, find an audience, find confidence through the love you receive in that way.
How do you think it is for them being in a place like Primavera watching you go on, surprise people, >> Yeah.
>> shut down the show like that.
I mean, do you ever sort of see it through their eyes or do they ever explain to you how they feel about that without getting too personal? >> Oh, yeah, no.
I think it's really really special for them, but I've said this before and I I really think that I I attribute a lot of my happiness and like groundedness to them because I, you know, like when I did SNL, they were like this is the best night of our lives, but I also think like had I graduated community college, they would have felt the same way. You know what I mean?
Like I really think they're just like proud of me as a person and see me as an individual and not for all of like the faff around me, which is just so wonderful and I know uh a context that not a lot of people are afforded sometimes in my position.
And so to have that in my parents and in my friends and people around me is just um it's just worth its weight in gold. I'm so grateful for it.
>> So there's this unconditional sense of pride and support that comes from a healthy family environment, which is beautiful.
So where does this really determined work ethic come from? >> I don't really know.
I have been the hardest worker ever since I was a little kid. I have no idea what for.
Even when it was like gymnastics, I'm like I have to grind at this.
Like if I don't get my back handspring, I'm going to die.
Like this crazy I don't know.
I think sometimes I think you're just like born with it a little bit.
Like, I've always been like that.
I've always wanted to be the best version of myself and wanted to do something better and like bigger and >> the way that it reflects on you, not in the way that it would reflect potentially on others in a more competitive way. >> No, no, totally.
And I think that's the most wonderful thing about music cuz you're only competing with yourself.
Like, you're just [snorts] trying to make an album that's better than your last album every time. And that's really hard.
>> that to some degree comes from, you know, the time that you would have just undeniably deniably spent on your own being an only child? >> Yeah.
>> You know, ultimately kind of growing up in your own company, even with friends down the road or whatever, you're going to spend time in your own company more than others do. >> I know.
I I I've been thinking a lot about that lately.
I like now I'm 23, I can like look back at my childhood with a little bit more perspective.
And yeah, I spent so much of my childhood alone.
I was homeschooled, I'm an only child, I was like a child actor, which is a very lonely way to grow up.
And um you know, and sometimes I'm like, oh, that's kind of sad.
But also I think that's why love music so much is cuz in those like quiet, lonely moments growing up, music is just like your refuge.
And I think that's not an experience that's unique to me, obviously.
I think so many kids feel that way.
They just feel misunderstood.
>> It was the only thing that was consistently there for me.
Fascinating you talked about kind of moving into show business at a young age. And I'm I'm like, okay. Only child, water sign.
>> [laughter] >> By the way, >> Are you a water sign? >> No, I'm a Leo. >> Okay, okay. Yeah, that makes sense.
>> No, if you know me, you know I'm >> [laughter] >> I'm a full-blown Leo.
But yeah, I you know, you you're one of the key water signs, and there's an introversion that comes out in your music.
So, you I think, to quote Little Simz, you might be an introvert.
>> [laughter] >> So, how does It's just one of those great mysteries, isn't it?
How somebody who on paper wouldn't be drawn into this kind of high-pressure, cameras, lights type environment finds yourself drawn to that.
Have As you've matured, have you thought about the dichotomy there?
>> Yeah, you You I think I do a really good at dissociating from it.
at dissociating from it. I think it was a blessing that my first song, I mean for many reasons, but like driver's license coming out was obviously such a a huge thing and I had to deal with so much crazy public weirdness that like normal
17-year-olds, 18-year-olds don't have to deal with and I think that taught me very early on in my career the importance of like separating Olivia that my friends and family know versus Olivia that everyone feels like they can have an opinion on. >> mechanism. >> mechanism. >> Totally.
And I think that it's it's not even like, oh woe is me.
It's just like I I think you have to do that if you're going to be in this profession.
Like I think if you're just like always so open and open to feedback and like wondering what people are thinking about you.
I just think you it's just unsustainable and so um yeah, I I think I do a pretty good job of keeping those those two people separate.
>> How does it affect your ability to open yourself up to new environments?
And I use this I ask this question in relation to the the world you built for yourself.
You know, you obviously move very deliberately with the people that you let into your life.
You've been working with the same producer now the whole way through with Dan, right?
So you like that entrusted environment.
You like the space to be able to open up and not like you say that and I know a lot of artists who are like, let me just experience everything and everybody in. That's not you, right? That's not how you are. >> Yeah. Yeah, I know.
I I I love working with Dan so much and obviously we made this record together and I think that there's something just so invaluable about having someone whose taste you trust like implicitly.
Um and also someone who has seen you through many eras of your life and like knows how to get the best work out of you.
Um >> Which comes from trust.
>> Yeah, it comes from trust and um comes from like love.
I think we like love each other so much.
We're like family at this point and so um I just think that there's a specific chemistry there that is like kind of hard to recreate with someone who, you know, I could have met 6 months ago.
Um and he's he's just he's brilliant.
I feel like incredibly lucky um you you to be able to work with him.
So >> you're putting it And but you never tried it.
You never did the kind of what we call the speed date writing thing where you go into a room with someone for 8 hours and try to conjure up a song on the >> Yeah, I think I did maybe really early on in my career to no avail, but um yeah, I I I just I feel like if it's not broke, don't fix it. And I I love him, so.
>> Look, you seem to be able to find new ground to cover because this album, you know, you're you're moving into all kinds of new sound design, sonic inspiration, sonic territory, and subject matter as well. But it's all new.
Every album needs to be new.
What you've lived and what you've learned and what you put it through.
Um when did you start to find the sound for the record?
If you knew what you were saying, if it was a album that was driven by the idea of being unapologetically in love and going through what we all, if we're lucky enough, go through, which is the loss of that love or change of that love.
When did the music start to show itself and say, you know what, I can nurture these words?
>> I think like sonically a song like Maggots for Brains was really informative and like illuminating.
Um I kind of knew that I didn't want to go like power chord rock and roll type of thing, which I think a lot of people maybe expected, but I kind of wanted to be softer and subtler.
And I was like pulling a lot of references from like new wave bands and stuff like that who were like rock in a sense, but not like, you know, >> Yeah.
>> punky like you would like maybe think.
Like um but I uh Yeah, I I remember making that song and feeling like that was a real discovery for me.
And I I love that song the way it sounds and it just makes me feel something really intensely.
>> There's something also about the way that that kind of music you talk about, that new wave sound, and particular things in the '80s were able to take um sad songs and make them weird and fun. >> Yeah, totally.
>> Which I think is a theme at times on this record.
There's some very open-hearted songs on here, you know, less begging and such, but a lot of it is like dealing with some tough stuff, but in a way that's like the synthesis kind of quirky.
>> [laughter] >> That's the dream.
Yeah, say something sad but say it in a weird way.
I guess that's the thesis statement for all cool music.
>> [laughter] >> Kind of.
I think the first time I ever spoke to you you talked about or maybe one of the first times I spoke to you on the first album you talked about writing songs on the floor and that you would just lie on the floor and just jot and write your thoughts down and everything else. Has that changed?
How how did you find yourself writing these songs?
>> I mean I think songs for me definitely always start from like a lyrical like seed of an idea.
I think that's you know um maintained as my like primary um mode of writing but uh >> Do you journal? >> I do journal.
I'm trying to do like artist way like three pages in the morning.
Have you ever done that before like >> all about it. >> God. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah.
>> I always try and then I fall off and all that but I'm I'm I'm trying my best I guess but um yeah, I love to journal and I I I just like have a notes app going on my phone all the time of just like random that I find interesting and um compelling.
So yeah, but every song is so different.
I mean it's so it's so hard to to be like this is my process every time.
It's just so different and that's what keeps it fun and exciting and what keeps you coming back for more. >> Mhm.
What's the first song you that What's the oldest song on the record?
>> I think Honeybee is the oldest song on the record.
Honeybee or maybe My Way um but I remember writing Honeybee and feeling so excited cuz I I I think that was the the the the challenge for me like lyrically and as a songwriter was like how do I write a love song that feels like it matters to me? You know what I mean?
I feel like I've written love songs in the past but they feel a little bit juvenile or which is fine.
I love juvenile love songs.
It's like so cool but um I wanted to like write a song that like captured this sort of more mature nuanced love that I was experiencing in my life and that was a really tall order.
Um I think it's really really hard to do that.
I think so many artists have been you know doing that for so many years and it's hard to find like a new spin on it obviously and so >> Your spin is it's it's you, right?
Like how that relationship and that feeling that you have is unique to you.
So So what is it about this song that you love so much that you realize is your love story and not anybody else's? >> Oh, wow. It's beautiful.
I think there's a fragility to that song that I really love.
Um I think the lyric like I hope I never see what your face looks like going.
A face I swear I could spend my whole life knowing.
Remember writing that and being like, "Oh, yeah. That is how it feels." You know what I mean?
Cuz being with someone who you are attached to and adore in this way, it's like the most terrifying thing ever. You know?
And I think I was at this point in my life where I was like, "Oh, I have all of this stuff and now I have something to lose." Which is terrifying.
That's like way scarier than like, "Oh my god.
I I lost something and I wish I had it back."
It's like, "No, I have it right now.
I hope it doesn't go away."
And there's something automatically that just makes me you know, just like tugs at your heartstrings like thinking about love in terms of of of that like sort of fearful knee-jerk reaction.
>> I think the lyric that it really gets me in that song is here's to hoping. >> Oh, yeah.
>> Because I actually, when I hear you sing it throughout the song, especially as you get toward the end, what I take from it is like this realization that who can control any of this anyway? >> Yeah.
>> I mean, here's to hoping is a pretty sad statement. [laughter] >> I know.
[gasps] Honestly, if there was one lyric that I feel like could encapsulate the whole album, I feel like it would be here's to hoping.
I feel like listening to it back now, I mean, in like the midst of it, you really can't see the forest for the trees, but now it is when I listen to it like top-to-bottom, I feel like I can kind of maybe see it more for what it is.
Um And I feel like a lot of it is about hope. You know what I mean?
Like hope Hope in the beginning, it's like, "Yeah, like this is this is I've always wanted this.
This is what I wanted to feel like."
Or like, "Oh, I hope that this love will make me feel better about myself." Yada yada yada.
And then at the end, it's you know, kind of the the unraveling of the hope or like the disappointment.
Um But I think that there's [clears throat] so much so much hope in in falling in love.
I think that's the of the primary feeling.
>> Oh, we're so lucky if we do and we're also lucky if we get our heart broken.
It means it was real in the first place. >> For sure.
>> This is one of those rare moments.
I've you know, I've spoken to a lot of musicians over the course of my life and often albums get made and then life gets lived and then we talk about it.
>> [laughter] >> This is one of those moments where I feel like the album changed shape as you were making it.
It's a chronological experience.
You know, when I hear Drop Dead and as a first song, it it it's kind of easy to assume that it's this sort of really wistful, hopeful, pretty, innocent look at what falling in love is about.
But in hindsight, it sort of changes shape a bit. Do you know what I mean?
Like it it it feels to me a little bit like was I naive in the beginning of all this in the first place?
>> I mean, I think that there is also a level of anxiety in that song, too.
Anytime you meet someone that you like, it's like, oh god, they'll like I hope like oh my god, I hope this person likes me.
Like I hope everything's going to like be as cool as it is in my head and I think that's like such a natural feeling when when falling in love for some falling in love with someone, but um yeah, I I think the album is chronological, which is one of my favorite things about it and I think that there's like a song for someone maybe in any stage of relationship on the record, which is kind of exciting to me.
I've always been someone who writes what's going on in the moment.
I know a lot of people are like, oh, like I have so many songwriter friends who are like, I can't write about something until like 6 months have passed and I can like look back at it with perspective.
Like for some reason I've never been like that.
I like love sitting at the piano in like the like drudges of the feeling and like really, really intensely experiencing that like while I'm writing the music and so I think this record was was a an exercise in that.
Just like sitting down at the piano and being like, what's going on today? You know what I mean?
>> Can I ask you what the toughest rep was if we're talking exercise?
Like what was the song with that was the hardest to understand and to allow itself to exist in its own terms? >> The Cure, for sure.
Um >> It's your best song. >> Aw, thank you.
>> I mean, >> [laughter] >> you know what?
I I I don't I've got so many favorites on this record, which we'll get to over the course of our conversation.
>> No, but like we're we're obviously recording this and no one has heard the record, so I'm I'm very curious your thoughts.
>> well, I mean, first of all, purple into the cure, it's if you're a track listing nerd like me, it's right up there.
I mean, even the piano that slows down and makes way for the cure to show.
Sorry, this is where I go in my head.
Like the level of time it takes from the end of that piano note to the beginning of the cure is so deliberate.
It's just like, "Whoa, gather your thoughts, get ready for shit." >> Flip the record.
>> [laughter] >> Cuz shit's changed, right? >> Yeah.
>> So, those two moments are really important and the cure is it is, to your point, the heart and soul, to some degree, of this album.
So, let's talk about the making of that song, please.
>> Yeah, I think I've been trying to write that song for a really long time.
Um and I was having conversation with my friend about it.
I think it was sort of the nexus of the entire album.
It's this conversation that I had with one of my friends and I was like, I just like want to write this record about love.
It's supposed to be a love.
I have all these love songs that I just love and I'm in this like relationship that is like, quote-unquote, happy.
Like, why do I feel so depressed?
Like, why can't I feel how I think it's supposed to feel in my head.
And we just had this conversation and after we had that conversation, I went home and wrote the cure and um I think that it songwriting for me is kind of like best done when you're like a little bit afraid to write it.
And I think having written that song, I learned so much about myself, which is not always the case in every song.
And um I think I could never have written that song on guts, I never have written that song on sour.
I think that I had to have like a lot of life experience and um you know, look really deeply inward in a way that um you know, 17-year-old me couldn't have done.
I think like in in like Sour or maybe in Guts a little bit it's you know, and and just being a teenager you look at love sort of like black and white.
You're like, "This person hurt me and I hate them."
Or like, "I love this person.
They're the best person ever exist."
And I think this record for me and also this is a period of of time in my life is me sort of playing in the gray area a little bit more and I think writing The Cure was um was just illuminating and and and and and you know, being like, "I can write about this gray area.
I can write about this confusion and this like, you know, push and pull between these two sides of me."
And um you know, and it can turn into a song that I really like, so.
>> You've opened up on the record in a really tasteful and eloquent way about that stuff. >> Thanks. >> It's real work.
I mean, we're all searching for increased levels of self-respect microscopically every day, right?
Trying to find ways to get to know each go out and know ourselves even better.
And I think one of the things that really jumps out at me on this record is it's not an angry record in the sense that there's there's not an overwhelming sense of revenge or frustration or resentment.
There's a lot of actual accountability. >> Yeah. >> On this record.
And I feel like The Cure starts to unlock the beginnings of this of one of the themes of the album which I'd love to talk a bit about which is um to your point, getting to know yourself a little bit around understanding what improvements you can make in your life so that you don't end up in the same situation again. >> Mhm.
Yeah, breaking the cycle. Yeah.
I think yeah, I think that that was a huge like listening back to the album, I think that that was a huge just like learning lesson for me in my life and also in my creativity is just like being in a relationship that's real and not sort of like puppy lovey just really shows you so much about yourself. >> Yeah.
>> I think Maggots is a great example of that, too.
It's like, "Ah, I want you to be with me all the time."
And they think I don't know.
There's just so many there's so many examples of it in the record and I don't know.
I was like listening to like the masters on my night way over here and I was like wow, it just it it really took shape in a way that I could have never known it would take shape like a year ago, you know what I mean?
And that's always exciting.
>> Yeah, I love the checklist as well. Maybe it's maggots. No, it's not maggots.
Which is the one where you talk about trying to endear yourself with this sister through the cynical humor? >> me. Yeah.
>> That's brilliant because it's just like okay, what do I have to do to be my best self to make sure all of this is going to be great.
>> I know that's a funny line.
I I the yacht rock music taste one was Stan's contribution.
He's like it has to be something that you don't like really actually like.
Like it has to be kind of cringey and funny and >> That's so disappointing.
That is the first disappointment of this conversation.
That the yacht rock is the is the first like actual non-truthful and authentic line on this record.
>> Yeah, yeah, yacht rock was a little a little fake.
I wanted it to be like >> I need to wipe a lot of this interview.
It's going to [laughter] be very big yacht rock deep dive.
>> I know, sorry to all the yacht rock lovers.
>> Cross and Don Henley which I can't >> [laughter] >> go into right now.
I can't believe you don't like yacht rock, dude. What's not to like? >> I know.
Maybe if I was spending more time on boats I would like it.
>> [laughter] >> This is terrible.
Am I digging myself in a deeper hole? >> Yes. Yes. >> Okay. >> Yes.
>> [laughter] >> Man, there's just so many interesting chord changes.
What didn't you like about a cerebral chord change?
>> me a playlist and send it to me.
Maybe I'm not like up to speed on all of the coolest yacht rock.
>> I'm going to send it to you right now. >> to me.
>> I am going to send it to you.
Oh, yeah, I am going to send it to you.
>> what are like actually technically yacht rock songs?
Like what's like the biggest yacht rock song?
>> Oh, Christopher Cross, Sailing is literally a yacht rock song. >> Okay.
>> What a Fool Believes by Doobie Brothers.
It's like the playlist is it's epic. It's incredible. It's called Soft. >> Okay.
>> [laughter] >> Perfect.
That'll be my 4th of July playlist.
>> picture of my wife flipping me off and I'm flipping her off on the cover.
>> Wait, that's really sweet. >> Isn't that sweet?
And I'm going to send it to you right now.
>> What's some your and your wife's like love song?
>> I mean, I would tell you, but that's going to open up a whole other depth of conversation for the two of us now.
If you If I'm going to go there, you better go there. >> there.
>> Um we have an old one and a new one.
So, our song that we fell in love with is kind of a Yeah, it's a Jeff Buckley song. >> Okay.
>> Um and uh it's called Morning Theft and it's taken from his posthumous album Sketches for My Sweetheart the Drunk. It's not on Grace. >> Okay. >> It's a beautiful one.
And then our new one is called Right Back to uh to it by Waxahatchee.
>> Aw, that's like the best song EVER MADE. >> OH IT'S SO GOOD.
>> the best song ever made.
Like >> It's the best example It's the best example of what of of holding on to something for a long time and and honoring it and knowing that you'll take it for granted, but you'll come right back to it.
>> it's so That's so funny that I cuz I actually perceive it as a Maybe that's me projecting my own experiences onto it, but I I look at it like a like it's like a situationship song.
Like it's like two people who like can't ever really choose each other, but like whenever they're in town, they like are seeing each other and like they just get right back to it. >> Interesting.
>> Yeah, they like pick up where they left off, but they like can't ever like fully be together in a real way.
That's how I perceive it.
>> Vocally on this record, uh there's a moment which I that the last note of Beg is I think my favorite per- piece of performance you've done on a record because I just feel like you went somewhere that was very real in that moment.
I heard something in your voice that I haven't heard before and that's throughout the whole record, but that's really cuz it's there's very little accompaniment going on. It really jumps out.
Um can you tell us a little bit about the environment where you recorded the lyrics and and the and the words in the songs and what it was like to reach again for these feelings >> Mhm.
>> and know that if they don't translate to us in the music, then you're not honoring them when you wrote them and felt them.
>> I love that song so much.
That was one of those songs like There's certain songs where you like toil over them and you go over and over again and like rehash it and like tweak lyrics, but that song was like kind of presented to me as like one complete thought and I like sort of wrote it um like beginning to end in one kind of go.
Um >> [clears throat] >> and I I was actually I was in a hotel room with my best friend in London and she was asleep, but I was so jet-lagged that I like woke up at 4:00 in the morning and like wrote the song.
And so I like love picture like whenever I sing it, I picture what it felt like to be like in the hotel room trying to like whisper saying this song cuz I didn't want to wake her up.
Um >> It's something really cool about writing songs when the world is asleep, too. >> Totally.
The same thing with stupid song.
Sorry, I'm jumping all over the place, but um I was such a I had so much fun writing that song.
I had I was super jet-lagged again.
This jet-lag thing is really good for this song writing process.
>> It is because you know, your your subconscious kicks in and you actually the cognitive work that you're doing to try to ask yourself questions is gone. >> Yeah, yeah.
No artifice, no like self-judgment, but um I was actually I was coming from London to New York and I woke up at like 4:00 a. m.
and couldn't go back to sleep and I walked around New York and there was nobody outside and I at the time was having a little bit of trouble like living in New York.
I was being like bothered a lot. I was super anxious.
Like every time I went outside, I just felt like, "Oh my god, what's going on?"
and um it was like the first time I was able to walk around New York just completely anxiety free and felt like so happy and like unencumbered and um so then I went home and I I wrote the song, but um yeah, something about feeling like alone in the world and everyone else is asleep is just like a beautiful beautiful uh you know, bed to plant song writing seeds, I guess, but um what was I talking about? Oh, uh begged.
Yeah, so I I wrote that song and and showed it to Dan and we mocked it up and um Dan is very particular about um vocal production.
That's one of his strong suits and obviously you hear it on like the Chapel record, too.
It's just like he managed to get vocal performances out of singers that are so incredible and so emotional and um you just do it over and over again until until he would say he's like, "Do it like this. Do it like this." And he's always right.
Um >> But how does he get that How does he get that that that performance that you deliver on your records over and over again where you it it's you're not the kid in front of the camera anymore doing it cuz you can.
You're a person doing it cuz you have to. >> Aw, that's beautiful. Yeah, I don't know.
I think Begged was particularly special cuz I think it was something that I'd been trying to say for a long time, too, and was so frustrated that I couldn't say.
And then when I wrote that song I was like, "Oh, yeah, I don't know if I think it's quite enough when I know that to get it I begged."
Which is something that can be translated across like many different experiences in your life.
So, yeah, I think I felt really emotional singing and I love the background vocals, too.
The background vocals I think give it sort of like a grit and edge, almost like an anger to it, you know, cuz I think initially we're like, "Oh, let's do like kind of soft background vocals and make it really pretty."
And when we decided to just kind of go full out and almost like yell them in the back, the song took on a another like meaning and and an emotional quality.
>> I actually think it's one of the angriest songs on the record. >> Oh, really?
>> Yeah, because I think what I think it's like, you know, I'm not quite sure where you're laying whose feet you're laying it at.
But it kind of flips between the two.
>> of angry but yeah, yeah, totally.
It's like self-blame and also >> you give me a little more and why am I keeping Why do >> Yeah, why am I keeping doing it? Why am I setting you up? >> it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that leads I think it's kind of a got a good relationship with Less because Less is very much like a the realization that like, "You know what?
This would just be so much easier if you loved me again." >> Yeah.
>> And it has one of the most brutal lines on the album as well in it which I think which is um and I'm going to botch this up, but um you say you can't watch me cry anymore. >> Yeah.
>> And then you do the noble thing and open the door.
>> Yeah, it's a little yeah.
>> I took that as like, "Fuck you."
>> [laughter] >> I'm glad. That's cool. That's cool.
I Yeah, we actually almost changed that line.
That's funny that you said that.
I almost changed it and Dan was like, "No, you have to keep it."
And I think he was definitely right. He was definitely right.
I was almost like honest or something like that, but I think noble is Yeah, I'm glad that I'm glad that you perceived it that way, but that that song was That was a hard song to write.
I think that was the song That was I think the last song.
Maybe Cigarettes & Milk was the last song, but that was definitely one of the last ones.
And um Yeah, talk about nuance in a in a relationship and a breakup.
I think that one was um I definitely could have written that one sour.
>> What have you learned about by writing that song?
What How did you grow How did you grow?
Where's the growth in that for you?
>> [sighs] >> I mean, so much.
I just think like this album is all about like the ands. You know what it's like?
Oh, you can be in a happy relationship and still feel kind of miserable.
Or like, oh, you can break up with this person and, you know, still have nice things to say about them.
Like, I think it's just like that duality and that gray area that was really important for me to express on the album.
And also, just it's just hard to like sit with that as a person.
It's so much easier to be like, "I hate you. This is sucks. Why did I do this?
Blah blah blah blah blah."
Or like, "Oh my god, you're the best person ever."
And so I think it took a lot of like emotional um effort and, you know, uh time spent with myself to even get to that place to be able to write that song.
And also, um you know, creatively it's it's it's a it's a challenge unlike any other song I've written before, so.
>> It's exhausting though, isn't it?
>> [laughter] >> Having to go through all that. >> to put them out.
Like, talking about them with you right now, I'm like, oh, yeah, wow, people are going to hear that song and like hear that line. Like, wow, okay. Okay.
>> Well, I don't want you to be nervous, but I do want to I do want to honor the music, you know, because as an album, it's going to be something that people will refer to in their life when they need it.
How did you come to the conclusion that that the whole thing could exist in in a chronological way in symbiosis and be one tapestry? >> Yeah.
Um well, I just I mean, I started writing sadder songs. Life happened.
And um I always had the title though.
The title uh you seem pretty sad for a girl so in love even even when I just had >> Even when you were happy.
>> Even when I even when I was writing you plus me equals a heart forever, like that was the title.
>> An automating life, man.
>> [laughter] >> Oh my god.
>> I I love the title so much, but even back when, you know, before things, you know, life happened and the whole thing started to unravel, I I always just thought that my favorite love songs were songs that were a little bit sad and a little bit broken and a little bit gut-wrenching.
It's like like Love Song by The Cure is like the saddest song ever.
Like that's so depressing.
Or like one of my favorite love songs, which maybe actually isn't a love song, is um First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes. Like I love that title.
It almost is a breakup song.
Maybe similar to The Wicker Park song. >> Maybe.
>> Maybe that's why you love it so much.
I love that title because it also reflected all of my favorite love songs, you know, you know, songs that were about romance and about positivity, but were also like a little bit broken and so um I think obviously when when life happened and, you know, things started to go a little bit south in my my personal life, I think that title was like the emblem of what I wanted the album to be. You know what I mean?
And then it suddenly became, "Oh, yeah.
Like that's why I I called it this."
It's because, you know, life has, you know, two sides.
There's two sides to the coin of love.
>> I mean, listen, for all the pain it causes anybody and there are people who are going through it right now as we speak all over the world who are going through this right now.
Which is again why music exists and why it will be embraced and absorbed and loved by people.
Um you know, we do get this gift of expression if you have the courage and the pen to be able to get it out of your system. >> Yeah.
>> Um the writing on this album is is as we've now come to expect from you, Olivia, is just phenomenal. >> Thank you.
>> Um and especially when you're lining up a song with Robert Smith who is a phenomenal writer.
So, um I think we should probably really honor that and dive into that with some detail because you performed it with him now.
You've developed a really great relationship with him over time.
Um and now you have a song together, which is a whole other thing. >> Yeah. Um I just love him.
I think he's a national treasure.
I think he's like one of the best people I've ever met and I >> international treasure. He's a global treasure. >> Global treasure. Yeah.
Um Yeah, I I >> Can I be granular?
Can I ask you a real granular question? >> Please.
>> I'm assuming you were in the room when you recorded the vocal cuz why would you miss that? >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. We a little bit of both.
I was in the room for some of it and he played guitar on some of it while I was in the room and then some some of it was done across the sea. You know what I mean?
>> As long as you got to see him do it a little bit, that's Who would miss that? >> so incredible.
I learn so much from him.
Um obviously everyone learns so much from him.
Everyone who's a musician learns so much from him just through his songs.
But um he's just an incredible person and like a true artist and doesn't give a about any of the faff around anything and it's just a really, really good person and um >> Does he Does he ever acknowledge when you guys are together, at least in the beginning hanging out, where you'd be like, "What an Like I've got a friend of mine who's like one of the grumpiest people in music and hates everybody and somehow likes me?"
>> [laughter] >> I'm the biggest puppy dog in music and neither of us understand why and at times he looks at me and goes, "What an odd couple we are."
>> [laughter] >> Does he ever sort of I mean, it's it's interesting, isn't it?
Because we know you better now through this album and that you love this music. >> Mhm.
>> But for you to be the person that kind of came out of the success and end up on stage with Elliott Smith is kind of wild. >> It's kind of crazy.
I feel incredibly lucky that he has, you know, kind of taken me under his wing in the way that he has, but um >> I love that you put it that way.
>> He's just he's spectacular.
I can't believe that he's on the record and his voice is insane.
I think he has one of the best voices ever.
It's so singular and perfect and it's I feel like his voice is like better than it was in like the '80s. He's incredible. It's so emotional. He's He's so wonderful.
>> How much confidence do you take from artists that you admire? >> Oh my god.
I mean, I think that's the coolest thing ever.
Like to be respected by people you respect is like the most awesome thing ever.
It's like kind of the holy grail.
Um I think that that's always been sort of the number one goal for me in my music.
If I can like write a song that inspires someone else to like want to sit down and write a song, I think that will be like the craziest, most awesome thing ever.
Cuz I just remember when I was first starting to write music, listening to all these records and being like, "Oh my god, I can do this. I want to do this."
And how important that was to me in my like self-growth and my creativity. And so I don't know.
If even if like nobody liked this album that I put out and like three girls were like, "Hey, maybe I'm going to buy a guitar and like sit down and write about how I feel."
That would be the hugest success in my mind.
>> So, speaking of success, with a little bit of perspective now and on album number three, looking back on the first 6 months from the day driver's license was released all the way through to going out and doing your first shows and and legitimizing it.
And we spoke a few times during that that time.
Um what are your feelings about that time looking back on it now and and and how it felt to be, to your point, thrust into this world and very very fast? >> Yeah, crazy.
It's like baptism by fire. It was so so insane. Um yeah.
Looking back, I just have so much compassion for myself.
And I think it was a really insane thing to like had thrust upon an 18-year-old. Do you know what I mean?
And um I'm really lucky that I was around so many wonderful people who I think kind of insulated me and protected me in most ways.
And um yeah, and I just I just like love that record, too.
I think listening to it back nowadays just feels so feels so special to have a time capsule of you know, your first heartbreak. How beautiful is that?
I can like play my kids how I was feeling when I was 17 going through my first real breakup with my first real boyfriend.
Like it it was um it was pretty special and obviously has afforded me so many opportunities and you know, experiences and I think it's kind of also I think sometimes people are like, "Oh gosh, like [sighs] do you like worry about like Sour being so big and like trying to follow it up and yada yada yada?"
And I'm like, "I think that is the dream as an artist to like make a record that is big as your first record and then these like I don't have to do anything that I don't want to do now, which is so rad.
I can just make music because I love making music."
Now, I remember when it came out older people coming up to me and being like, "Oh my god, it like took me back to my first heartbreak." And yada yada yada.
And like now I can have that experience, which is so funny.
Like now I can listen to that song and be like, "I remember when." You know what I mean?
>> Especially when you listen to "cigarette smoke", which is yeah, a whole other thing.
So, the album the album ends in a very, very real way.
Um and very purposeful as well with a line that um is just an undeniable one.
Um "Tell me something honest so the memories turn dark."
Uh and then the memories go dark, go dark, go dark.
And I mean literally >> [laughter] >> yeah, I mean you know, you're in your feelings when you do it.
Um Tell us a story about writing that song, recording that song.
It was the last one on the record.
So, obviously there's closure there for you and there's literal closure on the record.
>> I think that was one of the last songs we wrote for the record.
I think it was like 1 week until we had to turn everything in for vinyl and we were in the studio working on something else and Dan started playing those chords and I was like, "Oh god."
I immediately like had a full body visceral reaction him playing those chords, which is not a very common feeling.
Um and so I I had a poem in my phone um that was something along the lines of like, "I thought we played the perfect couple, but you didn't like the part." Or something like that.
And um so I gave him that and we like sort of worked off of worked off of that that little lyrical idea but I remember like being in the studio writing it and having a really special feeling and feeling like it like captured something and there's really no way to describe it with words. You know what it is.
It's like there's like just some weird electricity in the room in between like you and the other person you're writing with or you know between you and the divine or whatever the hell you want to call it. Yeah, yeah.
Totally totally and I felt it and it was it was really thrilling.
Um but yeah it's a it's a pretty like dark way to end the album but I kind of like >> [snorts] >> how the first song is like the happiest song ever and then the last song is like the darkest song ever and kind of >> have a very different take on it.
The first song to me feels really sad because I'm like I just feel like Drop Dead you know it's over before you even start.
[laughter] That's honestly what you're doing to yourself baby.
>> It's just so cuz it's so innocent and like it's just so just like oh my god everything is so wonderful like this is not going to if this is a movie I know this is going to end >> [laughter] >> very badly. >> That's hilarious.
>> This is going to end very badly and then I I think the idea personally is that you know of the memories going dark.
Um it's a very it's a variation of of what people tell you who love you more than anybody when you're at the bottom of a heartbreak.
Which is it will get better. >> Yeah. >> With time. >> will fade. Yeah. >> Things will fade. >> For better or worse. >> Yeah.
>> Yeah no I actually I don't think I think when I listen to Drop Dead I like think of a person who was so full of hope.
It's like the Cheers to Hoping thing.
I think that song is so the hope and desire is so palpable in it and I think the last song is like all of the hopes come crashing down.
>> Honeybee is that's the best song on the album in the collection in the collection of songs. >> Thank you.
I think that's my favorite.
>> I can't even review this album in front of Olivia. I'm happy to do it.
>> [laughter] >> Uh The Cure is the best it's The Cure is the best song you've ever written as a whole. >> Oh wow.
>> cuz it's the most it's where the self-reflection begins in a real way. >> Thanks.
It's like, "Oh, Let's see what you write now." >> [laughter] >> Right?
Because it's like It's It's not It's no longer about um the perception of others.
It's about the reflection of yourself.
That's what that song says to me.
In every way, I love purple. >> Thank you. I love that one, too.
>> Do you get pressure from people that that that love you to go back into acting at all?
That just want to see you broaden and and and sort of Or even just to yourself to diversify your you know your talent?
>> people are really curious about that.
I get asked that question a lot.
I think it's really hard to do both. >> I agree. >> Really, really hard.
Because I think being an actor is you're a great actor if you can convince somebody that you're someone you're not.
And you're a great writer if you can show someone really deeply who you are. You know what I mean?
And so, they kind of contradict themselves a little bit.
>> you your own boss as well?
Isn't it nice to not have to go and sit and be beholden to somebody else's vision?
>> And like I have friends who are actually brilliant actors and it's so wonderful.
But like if there's like a few months where they're out of work, they're like, "Oh my god, this thing that I love to do, I can't do it."
Like no one could ever tell me you can't write a song.
I can always write a song and do the thing that I love 24/7.
Like I just love having that easy accessibility. >> I love that.
That's a huge realization that most artists dream of coming to, which I'm so glad you have on album three, which is no one can take it away from you. >> I know.
Even if no one wanted to listen to it, I don't care.
I love writing songs so much.
It's like my favorite thing in the world.
So, I I'm very, very lucky in life because of that.
I don't take that for granted.
>> Are there any Rodrigo songs or co-writes we don't know about?
>> For sh- I mean, for sure. I mean, a ton. What do you mean?
Like >> Like are there songs inside Apple Music that you've been associated with that haven't put your name on or anything like that? >> Not really.
I would be really interested in doing that, though.
I think that that would be fun.
I've been so in like >> The Jack White thing of like sliding a demo down the back of a couch and not finding it again. >> I love him so much.
I went to um Like a week ago, I went to see art show in um in London and it was really cool.
He like painted these chairs with melted down vinyls.
I was like this is the most Jack White thing ever. >> He's the greatest. >> incredible. He's such a true artist.
I really appreciate people who just have an artistic impulse and follow it through.
Like no matter how random it is.
If it's painting a chair like with melted down vinyls.
I just like the older that I get I feel like when I was younger I was like more judgemental like oh well nobody wants to like hear this 10-minute long instrumental or whatever, you know, insert artistic thing here.
But as I get older I have so much respect for people who just have a desire to create things and have the work ethic and discipline to carry it out.
I just think that that's the coolest thing ever.
>> Well, also real aesthetic inspiration too and especially as you're getting ready to tour and and whatnot.
Um you know, you ticked so many amazing boxes in on the last round.
I mean to headline Glastonbury to become a bonafide festival headline it was incredible. >> Yeah.
>> You know, really an amazing achievement for any artist on the second album.
Um you know, where does that leave you in terms of how you bring this music to life?
I know you're in the rehearsals right now. The tour is sold out.
It's a great space to be in.
Are you feeling adventurous?
How how are you feeling in terms of reinterpreting this music for the audience?
>> I think because of the unique way that that you know, I I came into this business and um you know, I the first show that I ever played my own music for was the Brits.
Like it's so crazy and I think >> nuts. I forgot about that.
>> like the Brits and SNL are my first two performances of my own own music live. It's wild.
>> It's almost like a kind of cruel way to start in a strange way if we're being honest because it's like hey, you may only have one song.
Let's give it a crack and we'll see what you do in six months.
>> there's a million people watching.
Um but so I think for the past like few years uh performing has been like something that was really anxiety-inducing for me and I would white-knuckle it so hard just because I didn't have experience. You know what I mean?
And so I think doing you know, I did like almost a hundred arena shows last tour which was insane and headlining all these festivals.
I think I like did so much touring that now I feel really comfortable in my body on stage and I feel really comfortable in my abilities and like I feel like myself on stage as much as you can.
>> You have to for this music.
You have to to play these songs. >> yeah.
And so I'm actually really excited about it.
I think before I felt a little like, "Oh, move arm here."
Or like, "Who am I on stage?"
Like all these people are looking at me and it felt like it was an awkward thing that I was very stressed about, but now it feels really natural and fun.
And I think that's the that's the main thing I think I've been thinking about in in music these days.
Obviously I take writing [snorts] so seriously and I take my work and my job really seriously. >> that.
>> But like I'm making music and it should be fun.
The music I'm making pop music, I'm like pulling from references that I love.
Like this should be so fun. You know what I mean?
If it's not that, it's sort of like what's the point? >> Yeah. Yeah.
I also think when you do a show like Glastonbury when you headline the Pyramid Stage >> Yeah.
>> after that, you've sort of got this thing in your back pocket that only a few a finite amount of people have.
And when it's really scary, the next thing you're like, "Yeah, but I did that." >> Totally. >> I did that. >> Totally.
I mean, you know the antidote to insecurity is just experience. You know what I mean?
There's only so much you can like hype yourself up into.
You just kind of have to have things in your back pocket where like, "Well, I can do this cuz I got through that."
Even just in your personal life, it's like you know.
>> Did you Did you look around the curtain before you went on at Glastonbury? >> Yeah. Honestly, oh god. >> do or you don't.
Everyone I've spoken to you either do it or you don't do it.
>> All my friends were up there and they were really nervous because like 5 minutes before I went on, like the field wasn't like a quarter of the way full cuz everyone was like coming from another thing and they were all like, "Oh my god, no one came to see Olivia's Glastonbury."
So then everyone was like freaking out. >> know this.
>> Cuz it's a people are coming from like like filtering in from other places. >> I >> I know.
Honestly, oh god, it was such a beautiful experience.
It was one of the best experiences of my life.
>> don't want the director being like, "Guys, guys, guys, medium close-ups and close-ups only.
Medium close-ups and close-ups. No wide shots. Kill the drone shot. Kill the drone shot. We will not be drone.
>> [laughter] >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, obviously.
Obviously people showed up which was incredible.
Yeah, just personally too, it was a huge dream of mine to have to have done that and to have done it surrounded with a bunch of people that I love and with Robert who I love was just I Yeah, I love it.
to have that in your back pocket as you walk on stage knowing only you know it.
>> Like I could up every lyric and if I bring Robert on it would be awesome.
>> Basically [laughter] it's like you're a DJ with House of Pain Jump Around on your stick just ready to go just in case you need to pull out of your hat.
>> Pull out of your sleeve. >> Yeah, it's great.
You're You're an Anglophile, huh?
I mean I think you are because it's like you've always wanted to play Glastonbury. You're a huge Cure fan.
You've basically made an an a new wave album.
You know, you like a pint.
Um >> Everyone's been giving me pints in interviews lately.
They're like, "Welcome to our show.
Here's a pint of Guinness."
>> That's what happens when you sit there and sing "Drop Dead" [laughter] with half a pint of Guinness.
>> No, but I think they're secretly wanting me to get a little tipsy so I can tell my secrets on air, you know?
>> They got the wrong person.
>> I know, no, I'm buttoned up. >> You're good. >> on Disney Channel. I'm media trained. I'm good. >> You are good.
>> [laughter] >> You are good. You are good. You are 100% good.
Now, how are you feeling about now that you've come out the other side the memories slowly go dark?
Like the album reflects a really important time in anyone's life.
It's taking it it out away from you specifically for a second.
This is We all go through it, dude, right?
Um and what you learn you take with you.
So, where where do you where do you see yourself going now?
What do you What do you What excites you? What motivates you?
What are you >> I'm just so excited.
I feel the most myself that I've ever felt.
Obviously, I think like Sour and Guts through records that I made when I was really still finding my footing in my career and also just in my life.
And I still am Obviously, I'm only 23.
I'm still like figuring out, but I just feel more confident and like self-assured than I have and that's such a freeing feeling creatively.
And so, I can't wait to make this tour.
I'm I'm really excited to do this tour and feel comfortable in my body and in who I am on tour and I'm really excited to make another record, too.
I know I kind of just finished this one and I'm still in in like you seem pretty sad for a girl so in love land, but I've been feeling really inspired and so >> Who wants to feel pretty sad for much longer? >> Yeah, yeah, yeah.
>> Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's an interesting thing, you know, cuz you make this I I made this record 2 years ago and this is definitely the record that I set out to make 2 years ago, but your tastes change so much and who you are changes so much and so I do like the stuff that I'm writing now is so
dissimilar to to to this world and I I like obviously love this world and have such a reverence for who I was when I started writing this this record, but you just change so much and especially at my age it's like I just feel like I'm a different person every year and so it's like you can't make records fast enough a little bit. So,
So, >> [gasps] >> that's what I'll do.