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And and now I WILL SING.
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I A WANDERING minstrel I. Oh. Welcome.
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Hey, what's going on everybody?
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For First We Feast, I'm Sean Evans and you're watching Hot Ones.
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It's the show with hot questions and even hotter wings.
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And today I'm joined by comedian Nick Kroll.
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You know him from Kroll Show and The League.
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His hit Broadway show Oh Hello is coming to Netflix this month and you can catch him in Captain Underpants which is in theaters now.
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Nick, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me.
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So you guys have your own one now, Hot Ones? Yep, Hot Ones. placement, isn't it?
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Ethically, how is that How do How are you on that? I'm good on it. I'm not.
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Ethically, I'm I'm a little concerned that all of a sudden you guys are sliding your own hot sauce into the mix here.
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There's got to be a separation of church and state.
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This whole show is just basically so that we can get celebrities to give de facto endorsements for our sauce and then just scale out of business that way. Hey, I'm Nick Kroll.
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I'm on Hot Ones and this sauce, Hot Ones sauce, can suck a dick.
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All right, so this first one is sriracha. Sriracha is no big deal.
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It's not, but I do like that you guys These are cold.
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So this is my first touch to the wing. This is a cold wing.
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So that's how we're starting. It's a It's Hot Ones.
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Have a cold one on Hot Ones.
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All right, so I want to start by taking it back to your time at The Mountain School. Okay, great.
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Because from what I understand, it's this sort of teenager hippie commune in the middle of nowhere Vermont. Yes. Uh what was that like?
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Uh that was like the best experience of my life.
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You live on a farm in Yeah, in the rural Vermont.
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Like 45 kids and you run around and uh hike and uh have solos and feed cows and muck [ __ ] There was a lot of mucking of [ __ ] I find um I'm I was out last night.
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First of all, I'm hungover. Second of all Yeah.
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This is quite the uh hangover Yeah, no, I was thinking about that.
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I was like, "Oh, this is going to be fine.
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This is like This is like a Saturday like going to Old Town Tavern."
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I mean, I can I have some wings and a diet Coke, please?
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I feel like Tabasco's kind of been left in the dust.
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Tabasco's like that first hot sauce in the game and then you're like, "Uh it's like Jamiroquai." I appreciate you, man.
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You You You did some important work for me, but end of the day, you know, I want your Outkast.
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I want to talk about your time at The League because for a lot of fans, it's untouchable.
2:44
Of all the guest spots that you had, which athlete was the best comedic actor?
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Um Terrell Suggs was very funny. J. J.
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Watt is unbelievably talented.
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Chad Ochocinco had four phones on him.
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We were in Vegas with him and he he started tweeting pictures of himself in his pajamas at the slots at like 4:00 a. m.
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and I was like, "This is a lonely man."
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Is it true that you slept through your alarm clock on the first day of filming?
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I'm always good on the first day of filming.
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It's the second day you get cocky. You're like, "I did it. I got to work on time. I did my job."
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And then the second day you wake up panicked to like a text being like, "Hey, just checking on where you are."
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And you're like, "Right now I am dead asleep 45 minutes away from where I'm supposed to be."
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And if you look in the pilot, there's like one day where like Ruxin's got bed head and it's not It was not a character choice.
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It was like I literally slept through the first uh the first scene. This is bull semen. Yes.
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Squeezed it this morning. Mhm.
3:52
So, your friend Aziz Ansari has become this food pop culture guru, which I imagine has some say he's just become an icon.
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But, especially in this food space, which is important to you because I bet that there's some fringe benefits to being a go-to eating buddy of Aziz. Yes.
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Aziz has turned me on to a ton of good food over the years, but he is very particular about what he will eat and and the but he has turned me on to some killer food over the years.
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And my first weird spit just came out out of nowhere.
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Normally, that only happens when you yawn and talk at the same time. Hot Ones. Not on Hot Ones.
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That was like a true weird release of fluid from me that I was not in control of at all.
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I'm trying to think, what was the last meal I had with him?
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I was at his house and he made brick oven pizza.
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He's got like a cool brick oven and he knows how to make like proper Neapolitan pizza.
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It's delicious, but I'm like, bro, oven's [ __ ] hot enough. Let's go.
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I'm not tasting the coffee.
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I am tasting that wolf, though.
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I want to talk to you about Oh, Hello Great.
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because like our show, it kind of puts its celebrity guests into this uncomfortable interview format.
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But, instead of making people eat hot wings, we make them eat too much tuna fish.
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And we load that tuna in in the earlier in the afternoon.
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So, I understand your food prep thing here, guys. challenge.
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It's a logistical challenge about like when you're going to get those wings.
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The difference being maybe your wings are cold when someone eats it.
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In our case, it's a huge tuna sandwich that's been sitting under the lights on a Broadway stage for hours before the show waiting to be dropped down on a weird silver platter with little wings on the side.
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Do you get some sort of sadistic pleasure out of unleashing Gil and George on these celebrity guests and your famous friends? Yes. Yeah. Yes, I do.
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Cuz when you're doing it through a character, it's like get away with anything.
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It happens also that John is like the fastest, funniest person on the planet, and so he's doing a lot of the dancing, and then I'm Both of us can sort of pop in and just give someone a shot in the in the kidney.
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I just had a weird uh wing burp.
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It's got It's sweet up front.
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There's a little sweet on the front. Um that's a good wing. Hot wing sauce.
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A lot of love and care went into it.
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So, the next part of our show is a recurring segment we have called Explain That Gram, and what we do is we do a deep dive on our guest's Instagram.
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We pull interesting pictures that need more context. Great.
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So, I'll show you the picture, and then you just tell me the bigger story. Does that work?
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I'm bummed that I'm not the picture I was going to post on my way up here of a old man in a biking outfit on a bike with a cigarette in his mouth.
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I hadn't gotten that up on the Gram by the time I could explain it, which I guess I just did. So, there we go.
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Is this from a high school yearbook, or where is this from?
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That's from another one of the privileged things that I did in my life.
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But truly, more than anything, it's the quote, which is get serious, Nikki.
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And I feel like I'm reading that quote to myself every day.
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What do you remember about your high school basketball days playing point guard?
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I was a solid uh seventh grade point guard in my Jewish day school. Peaked kind of early. Peaked in eighth grade.
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Athletically peaked in eighth grade, for sure.
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So, I got to high school and maybe five five and one, but I understood the game. Really? You know what I mean?
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You distributed the ball. I have good court sense.
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I have good good awareness. Not a great shooter.
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You don't have to be a point guard. You do now. That's the bummer.
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Steph Curry [ __ ] everything up. Uh me and Joan Rivers? On a plane. On a plane together.
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That was uh before she died. Oh, okay. Cool.
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This wasn't This is not a picture from after Joan Rivers died.
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This It of the best fights I ever had.
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I'm going to name-drop a few times. Love it.
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I saw Bradley Cooper, a dear friend.
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We go to the bookstore, he bought me a neck pillow. Sweet.
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Then we get on the plane and I'm seated next to Joan Rivers, who I know a little bit.
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She uh was so fast cuz she's dead now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's no longer alive.
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So, if you see again, if you see Joan Rivers on a plane, someone has put her there.
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She is not alive anymore. She is dead.
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Um all the flight attendants knew her, she had brought them gifts.
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She really like loved these people and they loved her.
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We sit We're about to take off.
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We're you know, putting our seat belts on. She goes, "Watch this."
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Looking at Bradley Cooper, she goes, "This plane is going to crash and the headline's going to read, Bradley Cooper and two comedians died today."
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Can we get a quick battery swap? Oh, yeah, yeah. Just for me.
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How many of these do you do a week?
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If we backload them, then I'll have like easier weeks.
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But then if our bank like our reserve runs dry, then you'll have to start stacking them.
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So, I've done as many as three in a week before.
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Do you eat a lot of wings the rest of the No, like it's ruined wings for me. You know what I mean?
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Like, you know, in two it's like I probably get this challenge is like sometimes I'm like, "Ugh, does anybody want to work with me when it's not wings?" You know what I mean? Of course. Like, yeah.
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Like, you know, like food network call me like, "What about a travel series where you go and make the best wings in America?"
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You know, I'm like You're like, "I'm done with the wings."
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This is yeah, I've been typecast as like the wing guy. I know.
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I've been typecast as the like handsome romantic lead. Must be tough. It's tough.
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It's tough to be treated like an object. I'll tell you that much. It's nice.
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So, your dad worked for what the New York Times called a private CIA and was even chosen by the Kuwaiti government to track down Saddam Hussein's hidden assets.
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And I wonder what it must be like to be in high school trying to hide weed from one of the most prominent private investigators in the world.
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Um Shout out to Jules Kroll.
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I wouldn't call it the private CIA.
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I mean, the New York Times might have called it that.
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But I'm a more reputable journalistic institution. Sure. One time I got caught. Some girl ratted me out.
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I got a party and some girl like told her mom about the party.
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And then my dad like woke me up the next morning and then like very quickly and succinctly interrogated me where I had no choice but to be very honest with him very quick.
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It was just It was such a shock.
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He did some crazy stuff, but the truth is is my mom was really the one who knew what was going on. And this is gluten-free? Yeah, it's gluten-free. Okay.
10:34
The zombie's brains are out? Is that how it works?
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I thought zombies wanted to eat brains.
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Well, a zombie is just dead.
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So, if you were to die in some sort of situation where you had your skull split open, then maybe you would just have exposed brain. Sure. Get get in a little bit.
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Well, but I'm just wondering if like a zombie like if they eat brains like they just start to eat their own brains like slowly. Slowly get in there.
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So, for my money, Kroll Show is one of the best character showcases that's ever been on Comedy Central, and that's really saying something.
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So, what I want to do is ask you some food questions, but there's a little bit of a twist.
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Now that the zombie apocalypse sort of soaking in, I'd like you to channel some of those classic personalities to try to answer food questions.
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For Bobby Bottle Service, what are the do's and don't do it's when it comes to ordering off a VIP menu?
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Bobby would be so psyched to be on this show, but I brought [ __ ] chicken wings out here.
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That Bobby's VIP at Hooters.
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Very much VIP at Hooters, bro.
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He can have as many wings as he wants, though. To Aspen, what is Dunch? Dunch? There we go. The research was Dunch.
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Dunch is It's all chicken wings, but it's all sous vide because like honestly, who has the time to bite through bone?
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You just want to be able to like We're sending an intern to get coffees. What does Liz G want?
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I'm doing Can I do a sriracha smoothie, please? Does water help or not?
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I'm sure you've done the studies and this is like again, what about bull semen?
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Is bull semen's Is that Does that Bull semen is the leading reliever of hot sauce pain.
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Wow, it's very interesting um cuz you you get you start to get cocky.
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I was like This show's not so [ __ ] hard.
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And you watch everybody do the show Mhm.
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and you decide whether they're trying to play cool or they're leaning into the heat.
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And you're like Could I ignore it if I wanted to?
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What are you feeling now?
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Now that you're actually experiencing it.
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I guess it medically would be described as mouth gonorrhea.
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The Bomb Beyond Insanity.
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This is like Oh, it is and it's literally a bomb.
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Well, it's not literally a bomb. I No, this is a bomb. It is.
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Here we are in the Time Life building.
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I am strapped with a bomb. I want this on camera.
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We all clear on this, guys? Okay. Mhm.
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Do people send you sausages trying to get on the show now? Crazy.
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Dude, you must be [ __ ] swimming in a hot tub right now. Yeah, bro. There it is.
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It's the back of the throat that catches you. And now I WILL SING. WANDERING minstrel I. Welcome. Ooh.
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All right, I'm ready to shoot my my parents' death scene now. I just miss them. Every day.
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I don't know why I pushed them off that bridge. I just miss them. That's a sleeper. Real tears right there.
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Be careful with the napkins, you know.
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There's hands, there's sauce, there's face, there's eyes. Wow. Oh, there.
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And now I have I straight up have that sauce in my eyes.
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I straight up have that sauce in my eyes.
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Has peo- have people have done that before, right?
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Yeah, you're not the first one to go down this road. Oh, wow. Woo. And there's a buzz now.
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This is the buzz that people have talked about. Mhm.
14:51
So, you have Like straight up I have like a vibrating on the side of my head. Yeah. Yeah. It's on the rim. It's on the rim. It's No need to panic.
15:00
So, you've had the distinction of playing a pig in Sing and an actual douche in that Seth Rogen movie Sausage Party. Yeah.
15:07
From the outside looking in, voice acting looks like the cushiest gig in Hollywood, but I know that there's something about it that has to suck.
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What do people not know about the plight of a voice actor?
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That you eventually go on a show to promote it and the side of your face starts to vibrate. Wow.
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And I keep getting You don't do a handy wipe or anything.
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Another non-absorbent napkin. Great.
15:30
Wow, I feel like I'm straight up tripping.
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Is it like actual acting?
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Do you get into a headspace or you just get into the booth and start talking? I do. I do the work. You know what I mean? I do the work.
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When I'm voice acting, I get out there, I do my best. I do the I do the work. I take the time. I commit. All right. Wow, this is crazy. Mhm.
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This is more than This is You can't imagine it. Right.
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I've never My face has never vibrated like this before.
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Am I wearing a Hawaiian shirt?
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It's like getting married. Yeah.
16:20
It's like you're you're having some cold feet on this one. Yeah. Yeah. All right.
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Is this for the rest of my life?
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No one's ever rectally eaten the wings?
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You'd be the first person to ever do it.
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Should we butt chug some Mad Dog? Mad Dog? Yeah.
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That's some rich dick [ __ ] right there.
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It's like, "Honestly, I don't even taste hot sauce anymore.
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I need to soak a tampon in Mad Dog 357 and then butt chug it."
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I don't want to eat the other half of it, but I feel like I also don't want to not do my best. You commit. You commit. Whoa. You know.
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I don't know if I've been this high.
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So, in 2007, you moved to LA and you did what a lot of aspiring actors and comedians do, where you moved into the Oakwood Apartments. Yeah.
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What was that living experience like?
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Cuz that place has this sort of notorious reputation as being this sort of island of misfit toys, like uh Hollywood's version of a roach motel.
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Well, like Mad Dog 357, the Oakwood sneaks up on you.
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And it's only a few minutes later that you realize that you've done something terrible to your body.
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They have like a little store, and the store is covered in children's headshots, like brooding 6-year-old boys, like that.
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And it's one of the sadder places in the world.
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Ooh, Mad Dog does sneak up on you. Mhm. I am lactose intolerant.
18:11
And you're risking it all.
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Wait, is does Bull's come have lactose in it?
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That's a good That's a good bit.
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I wish I had uh Wish you were on this That was on film. I wish I had THAT LINE. MHM.
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THAT'S THE HIGHEST PRAISE SOMETHING SOMEONE CAN SAY TO YOU. I'm lactose.
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And then if I would have said, do Yeah.
18:36
Yeah, that would have been great.
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That would have been great, but you know what? Missed opportunity.
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Missed opportunity for you. For me, home run. Ooh, shake it up.
18:50
All right, so this is Blair's Mega Death Sauce.
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I just want to add some motion sickness into this.
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Maybe if I think I'm going to throw up, I'll think about the hot sauce less.
19:00
All right, Nick, it is tradition around here to dab the last wing. Dab? We're going to dab? Dab it up.
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You don't have to if you don't want to. to dab?
19:09
Oh, is that the cool thing to do right now?
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Oh, yeah, Nick, that's a that's looks you look very cool right now. That's funny.
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I've never dabbed before.
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Look at Nick going for the dab. I do it like that.
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Like it's just a little bit of something. Oh, too much. Here we go.
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I put more on here than you did.
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I'm a little concerned with it.
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Do you want to Do you want to Do you want to switch wings? We can do that.
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This is like a Princess Bride moment. Mhm.
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I know that you want to switch chicken wings with me.
19:45
Wait, what What is How does Wallace Shawn do it? Is it Inconceivable. Inconceivable.
19:50
It's in the back of the throat.
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It's driving me crazy that I can't nail the accent, so I'm bailing on the bit.
19:55
I think that you did nail the accent.
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And you know what's amazing to me, Nick?
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You're now the second guest Really? to do that impression. Who was it? Jordan Peele.
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Hey, what what happens if whole thing of inconceivable. Huh. It's [ __ ] Yeah. Great minds. Great minds.
20:14
Jordan Peele might have the best mind. All right. Cheers, Nick. Cheers. To Jordan Peele.
20:22
I'm going to eat this whole [ __ ] thing now. Is it Oh.
20:27
I have um my yearly physical right after this.
20:32
I think that some of your vitals are going to be spiking. Yeah.
20:37
We got your test results back, uh Mr. Kroll.
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You have a tremendous amount of bull semen running through your system.
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But to the kids out there, I just want you to know we've said a lot of things today.
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I'm not going to I'm not going to endorse marijuana.
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I'm not going to endorse alcohol abuse.
20:56
And I'm for sure not going to tell you to go get a tampon, soak it in the hottest hot sauce you can find, and stick it up your butt, and then walk around all day.
21:07
Very principled It's brave of you, Nick.
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I'm saying don't do that. We did it.
21:17
Well, you know what you are officially is a champion, Nick Kroll, because you worked your way through the wings.
21:21
A little nervous to start it out, but settled right in and got on top every single one of these.
21:28
Is this not Can you see this knot on my nose or could I just feel it? We film in 4K. Great.
21:33
This camera, this camera, or this camera?
21:35
Let the people know what you have going on in your life. Hey, I'm Nick Kroll.
21:38
You can see me in Oh, Hello on Broadway on Netflix with John Mulaney.
21:44
I'm in The House at the end of the month, Will Ferrell, Amy Poehler, Jason Mantzoukas, amazing cast of people. Captain Underpants.
21:53
I play Professor Poopypants.
21:56
Uh Ooh, my ear just popped.
22:01
How much money will you give me to stick this dab of Death Sauce napkin in my eye? I'll give YOU 175 BUCKS. 180.
22:17
HEY, WHAT'S going on, Hot Ones fans?
22:17
If you like the video, maybe meet us halfway, throw us a subscribe.
22:20
If you didn't like the video, don't subscribe. I don't want you.
22:24
I don't want you in the tent.
22:26
But, if you like the video, subscribe. Thank you very much. I appreciate you. I love you. More than a friend.