[Music] this is your new album as a broadway play in seven seconds oh i'm in love i love love i'm out of love love no i love love no love no i love hate myself i want to one of the best party titles of all time by the way well yeah i had to change it why because i hate myself i want to die no because it was called ps5 and miss playstation herself said no said please
no really and i was like wait i'm signed to sony this is the i was like my whole i'm oh i am a sony product like similar to a ps5 i also am run by sony this is one of the great conversations conversation starters of all time we have everybody listening and watching right now wherever you are one of the preeminent meta-modern icons of music and art straight out the gate trying to appeal
to the owner of a major gaming corporation based on the fact that she's signed to a parent company this is why the world's so i i didn't really understand the problem i mean first of all i play a lot of people because you understand too much that's why because you can connect the dots so easily because you told me the song is not enough about the play the playstation device i'm like
do you want me to run through its functions like like if i if i literally outline the functions of a ps5 would would you let me make my song title ps5 oh love is like a playstation i tried to do psv like i was like oh they said no they said that's too similar so not similar enough and too similar where was goldilocks when all this was happening you need it needs to be just
right in order to feed about a reference to playstation and the fact that your parent company couldn't actually help you it really hurt my feelings um it hurt my feelings for a lot of reasons i i really love playstation and i hope to my dream is to make a video game right so and i have an idea that i can't tell you because you'll see it's too good what she was gonna say
did you catch what she was gonna say she called herself i was gonna tell you the idea but i'm not gonna tell you no after that you said because you'll steal it is that what you think of me you think you think i'm an i'm a creative ip thief this feels think tanky in here i mean it's like i don't want you to like get any ideas i see you you're looking at me like he's oh he's a harvester i
just i just saw him with a little notepad trying to write down my idea a little tablet gaming idea no so that's what i want one day you know for myself and for the for the children you'll achieve it you just may have to go to nintendo no no i want ps5 exclusive you really but now i have a relationship yeah because you're a sucker for relationships your whole
album is about it you can't even divorce yourself from your gaming company after they tell you you're good enough it's nintendo are lining up ready to sign you a check and you're like no give me hell playstation i i got dumped by my place playstation where i was like we're like we're like cousins no we're not related no they said um so yeah i had to change it to uh
i hate myself i want a party which is still great which is a great title you're such a b-idea winner like at the end of the day even your bees are eight oh thank you i'm serious all right listen you and i could just chop it up and talk for an hour but i got something serious i want to say all right um when we first met it was obvious what the talent and ability and
your love for making music and you produce everything yourself right it was all pretty really impressive for what it's worth as a fan and we're all instantly drawn in but this album is another level and not took a long time to make in fact i was surprised i was like no there was one in between surely i'd lost track this is on your second album but i just want to say man i i can only
imagine the perspective is something that's been lost towards the end of this process so just if it offers you a little bit this is an amazing second record oh thank you i really appreciate it really really blown away by this album thank you yeah how did you feel when you knew it was done still confused i think that i was really really proud i was really proud um
i write in excess and then i have to reel it in and i think i'm in a kind of unique position where i write so much and then you know my team and everybody who has input on what makes the cut besides me like we you know we have to sift through really good songs that don't make the cut yeah and it's just us being like what you know what what really is the heart of
the matter on this record and i feel like i i was able to uh deduce it and i think that what came from it is a record that's really about me it's less so about like some some girl or you know a broken relationship i mean there's still moments of heartbreak traditionally but i think that there's i had to find a different heartbreak because i was really more so struggling with like not liking
myself you can hear that on the performance what's crazy actually is before you even dive into the words fans will no doubt immediately acknowledge that it is like you're whispering at times to yourself um yeah there's certain songs the songs i did with aaron destner i made a really like cognizant decision to uh uh use like like really close mic those songs
and i sing them differently i don't know if it's something about being at errands or just the way we wrote those songs but there's when you have those moments on the record like crowbar change the locks like i'm really close to the mic and then with the ethan songs and the dave songs i'm like screaming which is i thought was cool as a nice little there's a dinette there's a lot real
dynamic on the record what is it about aaron desna that gets that out of people because it's not like i can draw through line in the artist that you know he's worked with lately whether it's taylor or ben howard yourself but he's gentle there you go he's gentle he's just like you know i i found that working with people because i you know i it's exhausting to
feel like you have to do everything yourself and it it's also not conducive to great art isn't that what you wanted it to start though yes but i was an i was an i was like i went now i'm gonna play arrangements like no girl shut the up like there's people who are better than you and one of the things i realized with this record was that i need people who
can be my hands and so i can sit down and focus on the song and i have these incredible people like aaron who so gently lay down the hardest guitar part you've ever heard you know what i mean and i trust him to not with the integrity of my writing boy that trust that word trust like i can tell that that's been a big one for you in the last few years yeah i mean like i'm
gonna i i really trust the people i work with but you had to learn how to do that right yeah i mean i think that i approached making music on the defensive for most of my life when we first met even i felt like i had to sort of somehow let you know that it was okay i wasn't here to like ask you questions to be a kid you know what i mean think about think about what it's like it's
like you know i came out of the gate like real hot as a as a gay person and you're immediately and i'm thankful that i can do that and i'm thankful for my predecessors who allow me to do that yeah but it's important to point put into context as we're just playing table tennis a bit that even four years ago things have changed a lot between then and now exactly and also i was being
asked questions that were really stupid like all the time like what's it like being a gay artist like who which can you imagine yeah well you know asking a straight person that zayn what's it like being a straight radio host oh dude it's tell me about it does it help your art it's really boring no no seriously because there was a conversation i was lining up to have
with somebody who was dancing around that subject and it was shocking to fans and i was getting ready to address it and it was my kid who told me he said no one cares well just like i want to live in a meritocracy where it's all merit-based like you know it's like you have to make good you have to make good yeah yeah you know like i to me becoming a better musician
each project getting better the songwriting the production if it's not getting better then i'm worthless that's what kind of people are going to remember about yours and on a legacy level but in the moment it's got to be challenging for someone like you who is a strong voice and is championed because you champion and because you are passionate you don't shy away from who
you are so others who are looking for support and looking for strong voices to help build a continuously strong case for equal rights do look to strong artists it's ultimately a cape that gets thrust upon you so how do you kind of reason with that when you want to live in a meritocracy well i first of all i think i'm working on being a lot softer because i am really
soft and i think that i've been i use i use humor as a defense and i've used it online i've used it with my fans i've used it in here i've used it in here and i think that part of me wants to be you know helpful to people by telling people it's okay to be messy it's okay it's okay to feel a hundred different things at the same time and and and that's what makes you special and
now that i feel like i can accept that about myself i feel a lot more down to be like what you're saying wear the cape help help encourage people to find themselves through art in any way that they want and that's all that's all my heroes did yeah i mean it's just like you need you need people who who get up get up and do the thing and say like you know next time you're
at home playing guitar and you feel like you know you need a label or you need a you need recognition on the internet or something know that you first need to know that you're good and that you love what you're doing and that's the thing that really jumps out on this album i'm so glad you landed at that realization because it doesn't feel like you're chasing anything or anyone on
this record at all like it's crazy i feel like and i know it took a long time probably didn't expect it to take this long i'd imagine like two and a half years ew that's too long yeah but when you listen to it it sounds like you tucked yourself away in a space that you felt really trusted in yeah and what you came out with was a really intimate experience and i think
a lot of times albums that are poured over for that long can feel discombobulated you know really tough to listen to this doesn't have that i don't know how you achieve that i mean i i i what i'm trying to say is i don't know how you didn't didn't get lost i got i think i had um did you get lost i did of course i did but i think that you know what i have a wonderful girlfriend who
i work on the creative with and um she was kind of like what are you know what are your totems for this record like what like who are who are you okay like let's get down to it like who am i i'm who am i i am somebody who is a nerd who you know spent a lot of time in the woods like whittling sticks and like playing with nature and i love animals and i love nature and i love my
grandparents and the family that i come from and i'm i'm this weird anomaly of things that that that don't make sense and i want to be that those are my totems those are the i had to go back to those things yeah because that's not how any of us would have recognized you two years ago we would have seen this kind of person who's striving into the
unknown future looking for ways to connect you know snap things break things morph and twist even your previous you know videos to some degree have have been i think you know really pushing things forward and so to hear you say actually at the heart of this album is somebody who's trying to get back to that meaning yeah i think about myself as a little kid and how like honest
um i was to the person i am and how confusing and complicated the world is for any young person and we have to have empathy for young people because it's really up and confusing right now it's like there's drugs are killing people like they're not just that drunk really easy to access drugs coming people like when i was growing up was pretty clear don't snort that don't shoot that that is
dangerous now it's like there were kids who were going to parties and having one experience and their friends can't save them you mix that with the social just the social dynamics of right now i mean we've all been cooped up and now we're all out and we're all showing face and it's complicated and it's stressful and especially if you're a young queer person like
it's a really hard landscape to navigate i feel like i was so lost in the sauce in la and for for a couple years and i really did not like the person i was and um so going to the east coast and going upstate and being in the woods and doing that was really helpful for me taking care of my grandmother who just passed i was there for for three months taking care of her so i'm glad you got
that time out yeah i was there every day and it was like you know it's like how that's that's the most truthful thing i you know i've ever done it's like i'm sitting next to this woman who is like this is like my you know i always think about like when my grandmother was born right my mother was inside her as an egg and i was inside my mother so we have been
with each other for three generations so i you know i really like i needed that truth and i needed i needed that to finish this record i'm so glad you got that time so many didn't i know and i feel really lucky and i do recommend anybody if you are if you have the means and and someone is passing go and spend that time because that is it is so spiritual yeah and crazy but this album
you know it went through a lot of iterations but the totem stayed the same like the owl on my album cover that's like a big thing in my family the owl why because it's this i know my grandfather loved owls it's the name of our house upstate is owlite it's a dylan thomas poem and uh it he loved owls and he would always see them and and i and he would take me out to go
look for them and i i found i just found them really beautiful like this this bird that that is like a a truth teller mythologically definitely i'm sounding really woo-woo don't check yourself yeah but i am woo-woo i'm getting a little i'm like you know i'm getting a little more like in touch with my like i've been enjoying it because it's it's when you make an album like this where
you're just like like bearing your soul like you wanna can i just be really honest with you owls are cool owls are okay and you know that this was a real owl yeah on that oh yeah of course we bonded what so that's how do you bond with an l tell us so the bird handlers came there was this adorable couple like full ll being like like straight to the llvane like hat
likes vest like so cute and they've got these two cages and one's an owl and one's a falcon the falcon was their backup bird and i was like the falcons in the background couldn't bring another owl this is a crazy choice so they were like this is e.t the owl and um and i was like okay can i um can you can you take him out can i hold him so that he
gets comfortable with me and they were like oh my god you're like interested in the owl like usually he works with models that models don't care they're like you know and i was like yeah and i don't want a glove i just want him to feel me and then i want you know i i pet him and i let him nibble on my fingers and and then the whole day he just we just hung out he didn't want to leave
and then he fell asleep on my titties there's a video of him sleeping that is the sweet it was so cute couldn't why can't all human relationships be like that so i took them out and they nibbled on my fingers a bit and then they fell asleep right here yes if it was only that simple [Laughter] it takes years to get to that point it was really emotional and cool and it was
cool because it was like it felt like something like look look to my grandpa like check this out that's what's going on i'm doing right now if you want to go i was gonna what i was gonna ask you was do you think that the owl recognized that you had that there was uh an understanding of the language that there was a connection that had been instilled in you from a young person so there was
just something intuitive because i truly believe animals see way deeper than we see they're definitely spiritual beings i i think that the owl knew that i was safe and whether that was a really you know in relationship to my grandfather i don't know but i do think that it felt like that to me because this creature that you know was a hired actor on my you know album cover shoot
felt safe and felt comfortable the owl goes back to the crane just like it's a new point it's like she was a good egg she was a good egg i like that that was that was a good session i like that more of that models they just put me on their arm and act like i'm a like i'm porcelain like i'm a real living breathing now she gets it she gets it i and i genuinely fell asleep
like i always knocked the out you just ruined what i thought that owl sounded like that was a boss i thought the owl was like quaint i was getting like hello no that was a newport smoking whiskey drinking she was great she was great like i was i haven't had a power nap like that for ten years i tell you those titties those pillow titties i was asleep i was fast asleep you could
have driven me off a cliff i wouldn't have woken up i swear um that's how comfortable that hour was how long have you been with your girlfriend for was she with you through the making of the record she was and she's a tough critic yeah well i was going to ask as well because this album is full of unrequited reflection and self-reflection based on your identity
in the face of someone else yes well said and you know but yet you're in a relationship that you're searching for an increased equilibrium in because that's what relationships are searching for new balance every day so there's a dichotomy going on there right because if you'd asked me up front straight away hey do you think i was in a relationship when you made when i made this album i'd
have been absolutely not you're putting yourself back together how do you how do you deal with loving someone and being in a healthy relationship when you don't like yourself so that's what i was missing and that's the nuance was that it was you were you'd broken up with yourself i was like who the f has been in this skin suit yeah for you know 23 years um
i i think with quinn it's so funny you call it that i call it i call them meat i always say that to people i'm like you know people my friends are always like you're always naked you don't even you know you use your body for physical comedy all the time and i'm like well it's just this like flesh suit i've been assigned like it happens to look nice but it's it's
really just steak yeah they go they think they picked well and buff baby yeah they picked well off the wreck of nordstrom's that day yes they did um no but i do think you know with this record i was like you know really searching for a different form of heartbreak because it was really getting boring to me to constantly be talking about other people and how pissed i was
at blah blah and how blah blah did this and you know i wanted to be the person who because it's like you know i don't know i find it really interesting and more even relatable on a mass scale for people to like listen to music and think about themselves versus like you don't always want to think about the person you're sleeping with yeah you know what i mean like you want to think about
yourself too and there's the artists i love do that well there's some real moments on the arm where you do that there's a line in here and i'm going to really mess it up i'm going to torture it i'm sorry but in as many words you say you know i i i hate it when you're around i just miss you more when you leave oh you like that line yeah i hate when you're home i said
it wrong i just love you more when you're gone it's real good i love that that lyric because it to me it's like that song is the the physical manifestation of fumbling over your love for someone yeah like not not really being put together enough to know what you have to know know what you have and know how to express that to someone like that's how i feel a lot in
this relationship because i love quinn so much and i but i do like i'm 23. i really don't know what's going on in my you know i i i'm a mess and i i luckily i have parts of my life that are very solid but i think emotionally i'm just starting to like hit the tip of the iceberg of like how to be a good person so how are you getting there like i mean obviously
that's a practice that goes through your whole life and once you acknowledge that and realize it's actually gonna be really great and it's not a destination process like it's really great work like i think the first thing you do is don't pretend you're a good person because that never works for anyone especially when you're like an artist because the minute you say i'm
nice i feel like somebody will find out that you're not nice what is a good thing i've never said i was nice so i'm i'm already like a step ahead yeah but i felt like your disclaimer was really just trying to prevent anybody from misunderstanding i always felt like there was a disclaimer that came along with the king princess experience at the beginning it's like just in case you
were wondering before any of you say anything i mean i'm mean and i miss and i'm up and i'm there so i'm just getting it all out of the open so you don't that's kind of i do yes i love that and i think that's fierce and it's glam because you know no i i don't think this whole like self-love moment is necessarily like it's great because you're manifesting to some degree you're
like yes you're manifesting it if you dream it you can be it vibes and another part of me is like nah we gotta normalize self-hate like people have to feel okay with not being okay and i was not okay with feeling depressed and anxious and needing to like be on meds like i was i was not okay with that because i was i had this weird like toxic masculinity of being like no i'm
fine that's like like i'm not gonna go on pills but then i was like no i literally need to be on pills so i for me it's like that was a huge thing therapy and like you know that's what therapy teaches you how it taught me which was um it's it's all of it it's it's like you can't come in there expecting it to leave one thing behind and become something else it's like you
are that one thing you're trying to be something right that you can be proud of over time yeah i wanna i want i wanna be good i wanna you know i wanna be good that's the cutest thing of all time i wanna be good i want to be good but i'm mean i uh well this album i think i talk about that a little bit like you know like oops it's giving oops there's a little bit of oops in there um
there's also like uh you know you're really really good at dialing into the complexities of relationships um you know a song like cursed i love that song and i actually really enjoy that song even though the subject matter is always is you know pretty barbed and intense i really enjoy it well it's kind of like there's two perspectives to look at it like for me
when i wrote that song i was thinking about obviously somebody but i was thinking about me too it's a curse to be your friend saying that to yourself yeah like all the things i list like you know did you stop smoking weed or trying to please your dad like saying that to yourself like hey did you did you stop doing all these awful things unhealthy things yeah which i did not
yeah good no not good i mean you do you i stopped trying to please my dad but i'm definitely still smoking weed right okay that's what i'm kind of getting at like i have a gorgeous new little bowl it's shaped like an apple why you just do it in an apple because this one's glass yeah but because the apple goes bad you have to make a new one yeah but it's like a
thing it's vibe i know i actually used to smoke um an apple bowl during fencing practice because i joined the fencing team in high school because i didn't want to be on the basketball team so and they had like a random fencing team and i was awful i fouled out of every game what was it like fencing stunned like awful and also like i was awful at it and i thought it would have made you
better like just flowing like water through that situation well did you know that when you're fencing in a match in a fencing no before you even ask the question no i don't know well if you curse you get taken out really so i was out get the away from me and start like overhanding it oh you want some of this flooding a fly i was out but i used to yeah we used to
smoke a apple yeah he used to smoke an apple bong and he used to go out there and fence yeah i mean like fencing was fencing was a loose term i really what i was doing was probably not was school fun for you or were you just like getting out of here no i mean when high school i like i was so horrifically bullied as a child because i was so so gay like and then i really did i was like
really trying to be straight and like everyone was like now you're just weird they were like why yeah you don't need we don't we never asked yes yeah we just want you to be yourself so we can bully you that's your purpose could you go back to being that because it's no fun if you're trying to fit in and i was rude and like weird and loud so yeah because
that's what happens when you get bullied yeah i was i was rude and weird and loud so i and then i got to high school and i got there and i was like okay here's what's gonna go down i'm gonna be straight i'm gonna be hot boobies to the sky and i'm gonna be mean and i did one of the two i was mean i was not i was not but i was tough like i just didn't want to be with so i was really tough and i
was really like i could like throw it down so in some respects if you think if you think back to that incarnation of kp that we met on album number one which you said in your own words when we started talking that there was a real defense mechanism that was up and you were trying to kind of like basically create this sort of macho identity of like i got this like i'm in
charge kind of sh and i really believed it i really believed that i had it of course because you needed it to survive from what you went through as your kid yeah i did but i realized that my plan that i had made in my head of this career only went until 1950 came out and then i had no plan past that so i was like i literally had this moment i remember sitting in my
first apartment being like i did not plan what's next like no and then i felt stressed out by that and then didn't continue to not plan so when the rest of the world is sitting here at this point like we are and telling you you're great because you are and then you know here comes the fashion house and they're like we like your look and you're sort of getting validation in
all these areas but there's kind of is there this kind of creeping feeling underneath it like i've got no plan b i've got no option i've got no follow-up here yeah and also like when you have a song like 1950 that like immediate essentially went viral yeah it's a platinum record like i'm still a new artist that's developing themselves and i had this platinum song weren't you
grammy nominated for that song no oh well i have i have not been nominated for grammy i would love a grammy i'll put that out there yeah that would be fierce it's cool to have an award that's like i don't know like i want i want all the awards oh i i agree i'm that type of person though i agree and i also think it's for the team i think when you win it it's like the greater
good wins it but there was definitely and then man you missed the 90s boy the 90s were not good for awards you know the amount of artists would get up even they have really nice they get up on them it's like yo that's not what this means man like it's a competitions and i like kind of kids i like that too but they still have the award and it's still on
their mantle and they're like you know or whatever like you'll do i've seen the future you'll win a grammy and then you'll be up and like i don't know what this means man but you know i don't know i don't know what i would say i would be like thanks you need to work on your accepting speech you need to prepare a little more for a real fascination get the car performance because it's a car coverage
i'm sorry i don't know what to do with my hands he went on such a tear i feel like that team for like five movies in a row were just unstoppable tall dignity is one of my favorite films of all time yeah but don't forget like semi-pro unbelievable such a good film blades of glory blades of glory both hand commands i don't kill anyone says two had some really funny
moments i'm blind he's like trying to tweet which the nerf depart the wine it's like ketchup it's like run surely you can tell it's a small bottle and not a large bottle i would but i'm blind living at the lighthouse there's also so there's a funny story so when i was making this record i was with ethan gruska a lot and we were at his house just like drinking and
playing golf and making music and at one point um we would we would watch tv and watch survive i got him into survivor but i was like great reference in that by the way yes i was like could we could we uh please watch challenge nights and he was like yeah and so we watched it and i started crying i was so happy i was just so like and he was like are you crying and i was like this movie
makes me so happy i'm sobbing yeah so he and i'm sure he would say the same that that was very odd you know the collaborators you talked about wanting to collaborate with more people and get out of your own of your own head a little bit and you've certainly achieved that i mean looking at the people you've worked with we talked a little bit about aaron amy allen oh amy
my little cherub you guys got a good vibe i love amy i really do i love her so much i give her so much you know and she's just like it's cool because i think you know that's like my my roots were always hanging out with songwriter girls yeah like you know and she's so much more than that you know she's she's a she's an artist her music's amazing she's a she's a producer but what did you learn from
working with her because that's the art of collaboration is to is to get a great result but ultimately get a learning from it i'm a type of artist who knows what i want to say most of the time except for when i don't and then um but needs sometimes structurally needs to be steered and because i think that there's that part of my brain that's the indie that goes
well no this let's let's sabotage the chorus and then there's part of me that's like no i want the biggest pop song ever so there's amy is a great balance because she helps me compile and and fit things and so that's why i feel like the goal on this album was that none of the songs feel clunky oh they definitely don't i don't want clunk i want to ask you what what song
you worked on with tobias with gesso junior i worked on uh dotted lines yeah that's one of my favorites he is something about that was a bad day i was not having a good day when i wrote that why because i was sad so i wrote that song but don't aren't you like keyed in enough to know that's when the good stuff is waiting to be yeah but i wasn't sad in like a way where i wasn't sad
about like a relationship i was like sad about like the industry like i was having like a big ol moment about you know you just felt like just feeling like i was just not and like living up to the expectations put on me and i hate that it's like so that's a bad day yeah it was a bad day and they were they really coaxed me out of it so yeah how do they do that how
that's i think what people want to know is when you're an artist and you're vulnerable and i think we really ignore the vulnerabilities of the arts way too much we have to acknowledge it comes from a very real place it's also like you have to like understand as an industry it's like you're hiring like you have to be a certain level of narcissistic and deeply mentally ill to
want to be a musical artist it's an insane thing to do you know and this construct of born out of contradiction yeah and it's a this construct of a of a industry that we work in it's like it's just all so wild if you think about it the other thing as well is that that was probably a pretty every day because you realize you weren't as tough as you
thought you were because when you first came out i felt like the vibe again the vibe we always go we got from kp was just like oh this industry's my like i got this i know what the to do here i make my i do my sh i partnered with a label they're going to give me my what i need to just do my and then you have a day like that when you walk in you're like i don't know yeah i i think that
that works until you aren't viral like that so what does that mean well i mean like you know for me it's like my the most important thing to me is good music but now you have this unrealistic expectation attached to your songs it's like a post everybody gets this when they snap when they land on one really big post and they're like my next post only has a thousand likes what if i do
wrong it's like doesn't mean as much as you'd like to think like that this you cannot deny that that weighs on you as a person and you know on my best day i'm like you know what i'm doing me i'm going to make the music i want to make always and i'm not going to compromise it for anyone and that is why the album sounds as good as it does yeah and part of that was
writing about feeling pissed the off you also got um a first-hand look by doing a couple of pretty interesting tours where two artists have come to that re sort of that realization in different ways right like like sean lives two lives there's the teen idol right right that people still look at and kind of hold him up as this but he's traveled so much further from that he's
just like a phenomenal person he's one of those people where you're just like you're just like a really you know like there's certain people of his level where you're just like you meet them and you're like yeah like yeah i loved him straight away like you're just like the person that you present to be yeah we connected on a very personal level because his music
wasn't really in my frame of reference when we first met and i met him in an awards thing grammy was thinking and i was just straight away like oh this guy's a real one like he's straight into conversation engaged going deeper he just cares he cares about and i think that's like the thing that you know i i want to put forward always is like it's cool to care it's really cool to care it's
really cool to care about your music and your art and to want it to be the best that you can make it and i and anyone else's opinion about that who isn't a musician isn't really helpful in the studio can i ask you what what is an artist you get out of support supporting an artist on a big tour aside from the 30 minutes a night where you get to go and sort of stay oh it's
amazing oh i like with casey i was like chillin are you joking 30 minutes i was like wow i guess i was like i just get to throw my ass around for 30 minutes and then go drink this sounds amazing that's how i would have responded to it for sure i was like this is honestly it was amazing i was like get in do the best job you could be sitting at a delicious
japanese restaurant straight after you you'd be there by nine listen i i'm not saying you're not gonna see casey but i mean it's like 40 shows you'll see casey well i was no i watched casey like almost every night to be honest with you i was super intrigued by the whole thing because i had not seen the inner workings of a tour that big yes either so i'm and i'm a nerd for
like things that are built to be on stage like i think that's cool so i was watching and you know talk to like the crew guys you know like kind of watch them and um but yeah no i just love that i got into i went in i did my job and i left yeah yeah i was like yeah oh this is brilliant this is amazing and she was super sweet and and and made it super comfortable and
yeah i don't know like we had this really great day where we set up all these bud light cans and we found a baseball we just knocked down bud light cans you and casey no you and your band me and my band right casey was not she would have she honestly she might have been but we were just that we were just sitting in the parking lot in like freaking you know oakland just knocking
down cans i mean it's like a scene out of stranger things it sounds like the most beautifully boring day of all time that was the vibe and i really i had so much fun and i felt really healthy like because it was it was healthy i mean not the drinking but the i felt yeah and i no i wasn't healthy but listen i felt healthy no but you you were having fun and you also get i just
like that idea of like looking at your touring schedule and knowing that in six nights time you'll be in madison square garden that's exciting it's like that was nuts yeah can you believe i can but i can imagine that you couldn't exactly no it was but it felt right i was i was on that stage and i was like this house this feels great i could do this again for longer there's a song on the album
that finishes it which is called let us die which is one of the best songs on the album and um it's a really powerful song and taylor hawkins played drums on it before we lost him the world lost him and he passed away um and you know that's that's an emotional obviously that's an emotional observation they're learning experience and um i think as we continue
to do our best as fans of taylor to in our own very small way just continue to build on the legacy that he established and make sure that his music and his name and who he is has never forgotten i think it'd be good to share and reflect on that experience a bit well so when i wrote let us die i knew that this was the probably the best song i've ever
written like i felt that i felt it from when we laid down the chorus i was like this is the type of that i want to do this is this brings me the same feeling i get from alanis and that that is what i strive for you know and um i uh showed mark the song and mark was like this is amazing which he does not always say so i knew it was something special um and he was like but you know we really
need a drummer who's gonna bring life to this like this needs to be um a living and breathing person behind a drum kit and not not a programmed beat not a sample like this is this is the type of song that needs humanity behind all the instruments and i was like i agree who and he was like how about taylor hawkins and i was like do you think that you could get taylor hawkins to play in my song like
can you say that he was like michaela don't even worry about it anyway he he called him he called him and he said you know he sent him the song and he's like do you want to play on this and he was like yeah man it's a great song yeah and i was like are you serious you're beautiful when you get so scared and everybody does before you know an outreach like that and you
realize that for the people you're reaching out to it's just a great experience for him and when we facetimed because he so he was recording it at their studio and i was in brooklyn and we were feeding it through the console so pretty trippy too to be in my childhood home studio almost with your eyes closed listen to this guy listening to this guy
play on my dad's speakers like i was and my dad sitting there like watching and like just like oh my like we were just i couldn't even i can't even describe it i was so emotional it was crazy but in between takes you know we'd facetime and he would you know he's just so kind and um he would just how was that how was that i was like it's amazing you want to do one more time yeah let me do
a couple more i'll do a couple more i just did it he took he took as long as he needed and he and he did it and he was so kind and so gracious and he was like i'm just so thankful like you know that i just love this song and like i just love playing he was just saying he loves playing drums you know and to hear that from somebody who's lived such a life that you know at his age and and and
playing for as long as he has in so many different bands and his own projects for him to just love to play the drums like that to me is just what we should all strive to be yeah somebody who does not lose that love of their instrument how did you process obviously as the rest of the world and all of us and and none more than his family and his friends band
mates and and teammates but the world is processing his loss in in real time and um you have to think about the song and and being careful and gracious and thoughtful like well that's that was a big thing was the first thing we did i texted mark i was i was devastated i i you know i just met him you know and so i just met him you just met him and he
left a mark on your life left a mark on my life maybe the most transformative experience i've ever i've never had drums on a record like that like i've never felt what it feels like to have a drummer like a gift so he gave that to me and he was so kind and and and then to find that out i was just like completely in shock and then a couple weeks later i was like guys you
know i think that the i think that what we need to do is reach out to his team and just let them decide and whatever they want because it's really it's up to them and it's up to his legacy but but i will include that he did love this song and that that's the reason that i would want him on it it's because he loved it but we sent this message and it was very respectful
i think and and and saying there it is they came back and said you know as long as he you know wanted to be on it that sounds sounds great and they were just so kind and so and i can't even imagine getting a message like that during that time so i i feel part of me feels like you know i was just so anxious and and sad and nervous to just ask of someone like that but they they
felt that it was an homage and it is an homage it's for taylor life huh it's crazy it's really crazy and you know it's crazy the rock gods man yeah well the rock gods i mean the rock and roll lords it's cause they see it in you they hear it in you they know what's in you that's spirit and song about you know mess it's a song about messiness that's what is so amazing about this album is
you've leaned into the mess again but you've got this clarity of thought that has just inspired this performance on this album which is just pure and i can't say that about your first time my first album scrappy it's scrappy and this album is just like clear yeah i feel that that's the best way i could describe it i feel that though i i do feel like it's
clear i feel like there's there's such um intention in each song you're listening to this song now yeah and as different as they all are the through line and the story it goes like you know i'm just happy because i know you you're not going anywhere and and i and i i can imagine how you felt that day with tobias and i and i can and there are artists all over the world right now who
are asking that question of themselves right now and i think that's important and i you know obviously you know talking about it like this is awesome because it's like when you do it on tick tock or you do it on instagram or you do it on social media you're still receiving like validation from it and the the truth of the of the issue with validation is that you'll you're
not gonna ever get it when you need it you're never gonna get enough of it from other people especially when you need the minute that you need validation that's that is when it is not going to come to you and so in these when we talk about like this and feeling really bogged down by the state of the industry and by art and what's happening with art right now
it's like you know it's nice to talk about in this format it's nice for me too because i'm not looking at light counts it's very look i don't even know what's left and right or how long we've been talking i if it's good i never do this is good for me and i i think what's really interesting is the perspective that you can offer and some of your peers and contemporaries can
offer from the last of four or five years i was there that night we had a little soiree for new artists around coachella week and you were there i found a photo the other day so cool of course i never posted it but it's like you omar billy there's four or five of you i remember that it was an incredible photo and all of you are just giving great faces i look so stoned in that photo everyone's
pretty i think i don't think you're the only one i think i was just blasted yeah but it was perfect kp at that moment right that was that's that's who you were at that time right holding on for dear life and and everybody kind of was in their own way and that photo is pretty iconic i may frame it christopher personally just put on my walk because i've got
this wall with the special goes and i'm like that one's going to go quietly in my house but it's really cool and i think that you are astronauts in a lot of ways because the way that you came out the internet was already firing but it was the it was the connection between math and math it was different math as an artist and then social math then it was streaming
math and social math and that is a lot of as mcconaughey says it's high frequency like how can you hold on to yourself and what drives you when it's all numbers live live shows that's what that's what does it for me there's a part of me that i always was a studio rat you know like i was in the studio a studio was my safe haven the studio was my safe place it still is yeah but the stage
that is where you actually see your work and what it's done like streaming yeah you got a bajillion jillion gajillion streams it's like get in front of an audience yeah see how you're responded to and how you respond because like what i have been so blessed with in this life is an audience of people who make it fun like these kids make it fun we have fun at my house was it your first ever show
and it was fun it was fun and it's i haven't done it in a long time uh my solo tour and i'm going on my tour yeah but it is going to be balls to the walls fun at the greek bowls to the wolves fund at radio city musical get the radio city is a dream that i have had my whole life amazing and even maybe more than madison square garden was i think radio city is well
because it's your it's you yeah i mean that's like i saw jack white at radio city with the all chick band epic that was one of the best shows i've ever seen yeah he'll do that i saw robert plant allison krauss that's a weird collection of people but i saw it i saw it underneath jethro tall at i now go weird yeah well i do love jethro uh but yeah no it's amazing but when you
get on stage you know you know you know what your music is done and you know the songs that maybe that songs that you care about that aren't streaming songs are the ones that people are gonna cry to you know and that's that is a crazy feeling you're an album's artist so you're here to stay i'm an album artist i'm sorry guys i love it you're the best thank you [Music]