I think what I've learned mostly out of all of this and writing this record and all of the emotions that it comes with with grief and loss is it's it's one of those things too I read something not everyone is deserving of your story or worth it or worth your time like and it doesn't mean that that person is never is bad and you're good
or you're bad and they're good it's just like that's not what it is right now like they're not ready to to receive that or hear that or whatever and and if you don't have a partnership where you're both open to like the other one's perspective and thoughts and vantage point it's just never gonna work [Music]
it's nice to see you smiling especially when you listening to a song like this which is called I hate love it's funny you know because if you listen to the lyrics if I if you wrote this down as poetry I would read it and there would be humor like all things human yeah but at the same time be heartbreaking and then you dress it up
in this thing with Tempo and groove and it's almost theatrical at times the thing feels like you're presenting this concept very challenging Concept in a way that is manageable for you but also for us because it's a heavy topic it is a heavy topic but I think honestly I didn't there was no thought process to
this album for me really it was all just I mean thought process in the sense of I'm going through something and trying to figure out where I'm at and what I'm feeling and what I'm gonna do that but like as far as like oh this is a song that I'm gonna put on a record like that wasn't it um it was really just a lot of it like
before we even got here I was listening to with your people and I was like man this is like I was very angry yeah and Foundation being hurt um so yeah so it's really just yeah I didn't really think about it and I do like the idea of taking a quirky pop happy sound melodically and like the sound of the you know the production and
then putting a dark lyric with it contrast is a big part of what makes music connect with I like that I think if you just Hammer heavy things in heavy ways and some people do it beautifully and brilliantly I mean Tom York will break my heart every time but um there's something really special about being
able to I mean you know the Smiths man let me dance while someone like tells me that yeah their life is basically over yeah it's a dumpster fire it's a dumpster fire a Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis right I'm gonna do the Running Man On The Dance Floor for four minutes while you tell me how your heart is broken into Smithereens oh my God Jimmy
Jimmy Lewis yeah great producers you know I mean just uh what we call them heartbreak bangers yeah I love those yeah obviously I still feel like I owe you and I owe you a an unintentional well an intentional apology for an unintentional situation at the end of last year we were speaking about a Christmas album yeah when Christmas
comes around that's the last time we talk yeah that's right yeah yeah I was in my office yeah we got into it and the conversation kind of got into places that you know were very personal I could tell you we're going through it and it's in my nature to want to to want to kind of be a part of the that process from a
holistic point of view not from a sort of ripping it out I'm not like a trufflepig for trauma you know I'm just yeah if the conversation presents itself I'm into it yeah um and at the end the sort of the vibe that we got was like it's too soon it's too soon for those conversations to happen because you're
still in the process of figuring out what their music's gonna do yeah and I respected that and and I'm glad we're having a chance to sit down and meet properly face to face for the first time to talk about this album now for real for real yeah I mean because it's it's a interesting though because um The Christmas record touches on it I
mean it's kind of a lot of it doesn't break up Christmas right it's a breakout yeah I mean the saddest song I think I've ever written is on that record uh Merry Christmas to the one I used to know so um no but I was very much in it so uh even the label they're really respectful because I was like look I can't put this
music out one I'm not even sure what I want to put out if I'm gonna put whatever out I was like and two I just needed to be at a different chapter you know or season of this relationship to like be able to talk about it without literally breaking down well you just you summed it up beautifully because you said you were listening to it you're
like oh I I and it wasn't lost on me the the I was angry I was mad I was Furious when I made this music when music arrives in our life we think we know you but that's who you were yeah that's the difference so I needed to be I needed to be at a different place so I understand that but I will say contrary to what you
just said I don't feel like I have to avoid it I'm not that person that like has to avoid something and it was also very um uh thought out and and and very much on purpose um to have the album not just be like a divorce or breakup album it was more of a relationship album so there's stuff on there like favorite kind of high or
magic chemistry like there's stuff on there that's like you know with magic it's like okay it's hard relationships are hard this is worth it I'm willing to like get beat up for this like I'm willing like if you can do it and I'll do it if we do this together I can do it you know and there's that you're not really sure
like of what you're gonna do you know and then it has to be that way doesn't it I mean if you sit down and said to your collaborators I'm gonna spend the next three months pouring my heart into something that I'm going through that's that visceral but I don't think it's normal to have something like a favorite
kind of high on an album like this but no but it was important to me because I don't I think it's a waste when somebody says you know they jump in and they watch it all off it's like I don't want to wash it all off my whole thing is like yes there's parts that I'm like you let go of um dreams or hope or things like that
but like there is a very big part of that relationship that was I never thought I'd experience love like that I never thought I would ever have that and people are fortunate to have that you know to at least experience it it didn't work out but that doesn't mean it was all bad it just means it didn't end well well I mean you that's an enlightened
place at the end of uh I mean three years of therapy that's therapy yeah I was gonna say that see if that takes work yeah you know you don't get to come to a conclusion like that after something is life-changing is losing someone you thought you're going to spend the rest of your life with unless you have the tools in the Box yeah
you've got to get the tools and I did not have them when did you start to feel better you know what I don't know that there's one moment I think it's um gradual and that's what people tell you too I mean it's interesting because this album starts off with a song called skip this part and I literally say can I
skip this part it's heartbreaking you know it's funny when I met my therapist I said I just want to get to the end no that's literally so I literally said to my therapist like and it wasn't even honestly we weren't even divorced like we weren't separated then it was like when we first started talking it was
like marriage counseling it was like trying to make which one I'm trying to figure it out like I really I desperately want to make this happen but I think I knew in my heart it just wasn't going to you know so I think it just happens over time and people tell you that they're like don't worry the end is there and you're like shut up
like it's like at the time you're just like I don't want to hear I don't want to hear that I don't want to hear the end of the light is in the tunnel I don't want to hear all the bumper stickers you're about to feed me like it's just shitty and that's where I'm at and like I just I don't want to go through it but I think honestly people
you can call it hippie dippy La whatever you want to call it because I'm from the south and people don't generally go to therapy they didn't when I live there and so you can call it whatever you want but it's very helpful to have a trained professional that knows how to kind of navigate you through rough Seas of like
and it's a roller coaster that's the album too it goes up and down it's like I'm out and it's like wait I'm in because you love it makes you do really incredible things and Incredibly stupid things and and so um I don't think there was like a moment I think it just gradually happened to where one day I think one thing that did
help me is she was she was like you don't have to attend every argument that you're invited to and like that really stuck with me that's a good one I get it that's a good one no and it really helped me because I was like because I think I'm the person I'm a fixed which is really annoying and
I'm and I think everything is salvageable and I think everything can be there's no loss person I think change exists I think all these things yeah but you know we have to be careful of is that we don't insert our own identity into other people's problems in order to serve our own Purpose By even with the best of intentions that is emotionally
mugging people and that's what I got absolutely absolutely but at the same time you can't um and I learned this as a child like you know they had us like even in church they had us like stand up on a chair like you had partners and one was standing on a chair and one was standing on the floor and it was like okay so try
and pull the person up on the chair and it was like so hard like to do like a lot of us couldn't do it we're kids but then it was like okay try and pull them down yeah and then obviously all of us fell off the stool like you know and it was just like that's you can't you can't help someone uh if they're not willing to climb up
there with you you can't help someone and I love the lesson in that and and also like not just one-sided like there's two people right so there's and it's in and and sometimes you go in different directions and and it's you know and that's Lighthouse the song Lighthouse it's like you know we're both
out here treading water and you know I started writing that song thinking because everybody's told me since I was a kid oh you're such a light which is a lot of pressure to put on a kid so then you feel like every time you enter a room if you're not the light you're not like living up to what you're supposed
to be doing yeah like what's wrong with you yeah why are you sad yeah we feel it yeah yeah so it's that that's hard but I think it's funny though because I started that song off um ego alert um but I was like I I was the lighthouse and when I started writing it and then I figured out while writing it no one's the lighthouse the
lighthouse is what we never got to like we just couldn't get there we could not we're never gonna get there to get we were in the dark lost at sea Treading Water couldn't find each other no matter how hard you swam now I think when you when you finally go I can't fix this I can't there's no amount of hope that will you know or
trying or whatever like it actually is freeing it's incredibly sad and it's a dark place and fetal position on the floor crying and you know there's so much loss with that and I'd never experienced grief like that but I also think it's very freeing to go hey I can't like we're both we we gotta we gotta let each other go this is not
this is not working like it's not gonna this is not gonna pan out for and it's not working for either one of us and then we have two little kids watching us yeah and you don't want to set that example for like this is what this is what they're gonna set the bar for I'm like I don't want my kids to be in this
relationship like I want them to aim higher the commitment's coming from a place that isn't necessarily true to itself it's coming from it it's almost not a form of abandonment issues you know where you're just like yeah yeah which I 100 have yeah which is you know what we were talking earlier um not that you want somebody to go
through that but I also think because of my childhood stuff um I think having to go through that and having to learn that lesson definitely developed a thick skin and able to survive an industry that can be very hard on people um and also set me up I think unhealthily in certain areas but also I'm very strong in other
areas I don't think people are like I'm able to compartmentalize better than anyone I know wow where does it go well it doesn't go away and I know that so I know that's not healthy to like completely but I just mean like okay example even when you were talking to me like for the Christmas record like I was going through it like I was literally I
remember talking to you because by the way I was in court right before talking to you so like I know because they're wrapping you up yeah like she couldn't go and I was like I've heard that before and they're like no she has to go no I have to go like it was like it was a really hard time am I running sort of
line with people I work with it's just music No One's Gonna Die yeah no that's my thing I'm like it's music I'm like it's music I think you're also telling yourself that at the same time because I do that too because even with like Kelly Okies if I had to learn the songs right before I sing them generally because there's so many songs
and I'm like okay I didn't nail it how I wanted to No One's Gonna Die I have a different mantra for myself which has helped me sort of navigate my way into a place of some water equal Librium which is I'm just here for the LOLs acting nothing but positivity through the idea that actually even when it's
really tough there's something in it that's funny I mean there is just something oh humor you have to find humor and this humor on this record dude there's a lot of things like even the dark deep sad ones it's like I have to find humor I I have to I have to have a little tinge of that like it's one it's helpful to escape like
once you said you know even when you're paying attention to something else it's nice for perspective and you know it it is detrimental in the moment and you feel like everything is you're gonna mess up your children you're gonna mess up your whole lot like you're everything is so huge and like now three years
later even from separation like it's like you know what I was like yes it is important yes it was what it was but like at the end of the day we're all fine we're doing fine everybody's finding their own you know Lane and we're figuring it out and it's gonna be fine how are you able to process all of this and while you were making an album
and building a TV show and also to some degree protecting your children from the reality of what you're going through I mean this is probably one of the most hectic and pressured heady times of your entire life and I don't know how people do that um yeah I don't know how people get through anything like that because I'm
not going to say I did it gracefully behind closed doors like by myself like it was not I mean just to be brutally honest like I did not handle it well I had like many sessions with like just my friends of like I couldn't even speak like I was crying so hard so it's like it that that that's just what it is and it's because it
matters to me you know it all of that matters to me and also your body and your mind and your heart and your soul and everything that's part of your chemistry and your makeup that makes you live and breathe and exist is telling you you need to get this oh even before separate like I mean there were
like just a lot of you know now and healthy habits you kind of recognize or habits that you recognize that you didn't see before you know hindsight is a lot easier so um no that's I mean you like that I didn't even see happening or that I was doing you know not to get too specific but like um that I that I was doing to make sure
somebody else felt you know enough or important or validated and then trying to like I think it's it's a really good thing I think sometimes um being spiritual because I I do love that I grew up in religion and having a servant's heart I think that served me well um but it can also really not go well
for you when you're always putting yourself in somebody else's shoes or you're always taking care of the other person and not yourself so um that that did not serve me so well it turns out in a relationship um but but I don't want that to change because I do like that I see potential in people and I see who they can be and I see um
where we could be I think that I think that's nice I like living a hopeful existence there's a term that I like to use in that situation because I had to work out where where I was best suited as well and what was best for me and not just to walk into every scenario and just try to fix it yeah I can fix it
yeah right and that is like be thoughtful with your thoughtfulness I think you know even if you have this desire I don't want to go in there and make something better and be thoughtful with it be thoughtful to yourself be thoughtful to the person are they ready to receive really just take a step back for a second and just realize that um
there's a lot going on here rather than just the desire to resolve I think too is just I think what I've learned mostly out of all of this and writing this record and all of the emotions that it comes with with grief and loss is it's it's one of those things too I read something not everyone is deserving of your story or worth it or worth your
time like and it doesn't mean that that person is never is bad and you're good or you're bad and they're good it's just like that's not what it is right now like they're not ready to to receive that or hear that or whatever and and if you don't have a partnership where you're both open to like the other one's
perspective and thoughts and vantage point it's just never gonna work if there are people who have grievances or issues with the way something's being managed and you're at the center of it even a relationship relationships workplaces whatever we're discovering this now and I think that it is the age of discourse and I know it's
uncomfortable for a lot of people because it's not uncomfortable for me no not me but I think but I think a lot of people are like well hang on this stuff just we just used to get you know pull up your bootstraps get your head down do your work figure it out it is what it is you know swallow it up all those lines
get kicked around which basically says keep the Train on the track and I think what people are saying right now is like who wants to be on a train that's like yeah yeah right exactly like either relationship whatever kind of relationship you're talking about like it's not why are we working so hard you know I'm saying like and I love like I
think I've developed that I didn't like confrontation as a kid but I love it now what changed I think I just got exhausted I got exhausted from dancing for so many like I just got excited and I'm just too old for it now I'm just like and I think that comes with age a little bit of wisdom of like you're not
an if you just point out like hey like um I'm exhausted from this conversation or being attacked in this way or accused of something like it's like I'm it's exhausting like you know what I'm saying like it's like let's fix it like let's remedy or let's at least work towards you know not having this conversation over and over again you know so it's
because obviously there's something with that person like if you keep bringing something it's called projection 101. so it's yeah it's like what's going on you know like and if and if you can't figure that out then like get off the train find get me trains there if you don't know if you don't absorb it it will bounce
back at the person but honestly and it just is a ping pong from game from hell this album is called chemistry uh it is you know like you said it is a it is a a wonderful all-encompassing very Human Experience based out of the idea of what a relationship is in the reality of what it becomes right because we have ideas I
love is an idea at first you know it's a feeling and then an idea of what it can become and then it's like okay yeah and then it's like okay how much work can we put into this realistically to see it through well that's the thing too though I don't know about you but it's like I know the everything takes work I mean
good Lord I love working like I love jobs I love all that kind of stuff and I even love in a relationship friendship family whatever I'm the person that like politics are on the table faith is on the table everything's on the table because I don't know everything so I like learning and I like other people's
perspective work as an investment in people exactly and that's that's the thing it's like when you're trying so hard to do that with someone and they're not reciprocating it's like okay then that just shows me like I'm not worth that to you like you know what I'm saying that just shows that like you know I'm saying like you're not willing
to like so and that's in a lot of relationships you know so I don't know it's just a it's a it's a difficult thing I get it like relationships are hard you have two people coming from two different worlds especially like when you're 30 you know especially when you have abandonment issues you want to fix things and you
don't like confrontation what you're saying to people up into a point which you've gotten to now in your life through the music and the therapy and the trauma what you've said in the first half of your life is like well I I'm not going anywhere and it's like that you think people like I think we sometimes
think I'm not going anywhere as like a sign of sort of loyalty and respect and everything else but you're just holding yourself in a place that maybe you should leave yeah you're holding yourself hostage yeah yeah 100 and it's like it should be work like relationships will work like whether it's a working relationship lover family
whatever but it shouldn't be that hard like you know I'm saying like that's my I was like I'm like this is this is like you shouldn't feel like it should be I feel like I don't know but I feel like it should feel at least like you're if there are hard days but every day isn't a struggle you know so I just because people will be
like well it's you know they're like oh religion I had oh I had this yeah I think we took it out of the interview but I had so many in it I was interviewing someone during this whole time for me for the show hilariously enough they're getting divorced now but whatever but they kind of shamed me um when it was announced or whatever
that um divorce is happening and it was like oh my God this is so triggering from coming from the south but it was like they kind of shaped me I was like well a relationship is hard and I was like oh I was like you're that person right now like assuming you know what happens behind closed doors assuming you know my
life I was like okay and you're gonna shame me for it right now hilariously enough this person's getting divorced but like projection we spoke about I said no but it was just it broke my heart and it's like okay I'm gonna and then you whatever you're working out and you're like they're going through something I'm gonna let that go I think
also when you give people Solutions Kelly like since you've been gone is a solution for millions and millions of people yeah right it's like you gave people the key and then you're on the other end of this experience a lot of people don't know how to translate that and help you all of a sudden the identity is tough for
people to figure out like hmm we're used to getting it you know what how how do we help you what do we say what do we do and maybe the answer is nothing oh maybe it's just listen maybe just listen and don't try and offer any sort of kind of prototype page six in a handbook Solutions just let somebody be which is
hard for people to just listen it's hard for people when they think they know you or feel like they know you um and they love you for reasons that don't translate into that really challenging equation because love is very different like the way that you talk about love on this album is different at how fans love you yeah yeah
but I hope that I think that the thing with this album though is that unfortunately I think everybody has gone there's some kind of relationship in your life to where you felt like you try so hard you're in it's going well then oh my God what and then it's and and especially like I know a lot of people that
um even like a crew member that I've worked with forever is like oh my gosh girl I listen this record like coming because we were doing a show and you had to listen to it for work and he was listening record he was like you nailed like every stage like like what it is the high the intoxicating part but like
you hold on to things like that and what it could be but not what it actually is like so hopefully you know people connected don't feel isolated alone and because that's the worst part when you're going through something no matter what I said to my friends no one would get no one got it you know it being so
public misinformation well things that were right and then people talk to you about you want to scream at the top of your lungs right like you know it's just no one knows that and I don't know that whatever theirs is you can experience you know full on what someone else is experiencing so that's just and it's very isolating oh it's the most
isolating thing in the world I remember being on the floor crying fetal position um heartbroken many many years ago and uh friend coming around to check on me and he picked me up and he tried to give me that pep talk and I was like bro it's like you're talking like you may as well just be making noise right now yeah and
I don't need a notebook right now you're not getting through to me so let's just stop just maybe just just sit in silence because yeah you're not ready to receive that maybe you just need to sit in it man I'm so grateful you made this album I think people are really gonna I think you know and I can tell I can tell you
uh necessity this this could almost have not even come out no oh trust me there's tons that didn't [Laughter] which actually isn't like somebody will make that by the way some kind of remix um no that's there's a lot that didn't that didn't make it but yes but I do think that that's the cool thing about art though like whether you're a painter
sculptor writer or singer whatever you're doing like a dancer like you can tell when someone's been through something that's the worst thing too and I it's it's my it's my pet peeve of art whenever um it's so transparent that you have no idea what you're singing about yeah or talking about it it's like it's so
transparent with the artist I'm like I can't hear it's you're undeserved you're undeserving to sing that lyric right now because unless you felt it like don't try and talk about it don't try and tell me what I'm feeling like you know I'm saying that's like that's very hard for me to hear there's a young artist I want
to put in your radar which telling everybody about his name's Ryan Beatty Ryan Beatty yeah he's a young guy he's worked with you know some really great artists he's collaborated with Tyler the Creator he was in brockhampton for a while but he's come out he took three or four years out he went traveling he made
this album he made up in Shangri-La very small group of people and he's made this remarkable body of work I think we don't give youth enough credit because everybody's like oh they're young they don't know and I'm like the youth are God when you're young you feel more I feel no more you do when you're young you feel too you're open to everything
exactly you're like a sponge to it so it's like you're you feel I think pain more you feel you know because then when you're older you have enough wisdom and experience to know I will get through this it sucks but like there is another sign when you're there it's so here you feel everything the impact is this is
the key right the lyric on the next song I cut the bruises off a peach not as beautiful but just as sweet I mean it's like I love the lyrics it's interesting though he used the word sober I have the I use the word sober and Lighthouse and it's like I didn't choose sober but one day you're you see it and then you can't
unsee it you know did you did you feel did you feel that in that moment Lighthouse is this song where I like I finally decided I was like okay and I just we're gonna tread water and drift away to different oceans like it's like it's and let the lighthouse shine on somebody else yeah and like and sometimes the light you
know there is no light to find you know like sometimes unfortunately it goes out you know so um but that's the thing I like to I'm talking about sober because like one day when you're sober and it's like one day you wake up and you can't you can't not see it like once you see it like people will tell you non-stop like hey this is
unhealthy and like hey this is happening and you don't see it because you're in it and you love someone and like with your whole being and you don't see it but then the day you do see it there's no one seeing it I love promoting like music that I love I know I know like but even in like I I it's it's so it's like I need somebody to be
able to heal like I did like in here like this is important and like people don't get like there are songs and records that do not get the recognition that you feel like you're like why is no one listening like why is this not like number one right now I'm Relentless with that yeah I mean that's why I knew I had
to do this because my friends would be like it's important what you're doing okay yeah same you were talking about the idea of still being in it foreign that to me is real pain knowing that you're in it and and but but there's going to be a moment when you get out of it are you familiar with the song hyperbala by Bjork I love Bjork but no
I'll read you the lyrics we live on a mountain right at the top the beautiful view from the top of the mountain every morning I walk towards the edge and throw little things off like car parts bottles and Cutlery or whatever I find lying around it's become a habit a way to start the day and I go through all
this before you wake up wondering what it's like to be that thing that's fleeing well that's the second person I know I know it's going now so I can feel happier to be safe up here with you I go through all this before you wake up so I can feel happier to be safe up here with you Jesus yeah I'll read it it's early
morning no one is away come back at my Cliff still throwing things off I listen to The Sounds they make on their way down I follow with my eyes till they crash I imagine what my body would sound like slamming against those rocks and when it lands will my eyes be closed or open wow like my brain went to like
knowing I think when you're in that painful place too it's like whenever you first started reading the lyrics it's like when you're craving the feeling of just that kind of freedom of like and you know it's gonna not end well you're gonna die you know when you're craving that like in that lyric when you're craving that
there's something wrong like you know when you're craving that amount of free fall like just because you either need to feel free you need to feel something other than pain you need to like that's she's a great writer I like New York to feel safe again yeah with you because you're not yeah yeah that's yeah that's what I'm saying with these these
albums are so like people keep saying too like oh why do you think people look forward to like the divorce album or like whatever it is called who asks that people ask who the asks that almost almost every single interview actually asked that question yep people are like why do people look forward to divorce
albums are you fine serious I know they do almost every interview um but here's the thing here's why is because tragedy and that depth of sadness is really relatable and people don't talk about it enough you listen to it with your headphones on and you to feel connected to something because you're supposed to because society says like
let's you know let's change it let's be happy let's be and then what is Happy everybody can't be happy all the time but like it's yeah that people say that almost every interview that's a really tough question but the reason why is because I mean think about it John Lennon's imagine like I said this is another
interview I'm like that's not from a happy place no that's from war that's from people literally like War I can't live that's the thing is without you yeah exactly but like all those songs that are huge for us are like yeah imagine all the people imagine what we could be like that's terribly sad that's
because we're not bad you know what that is people talk about unrequited love and songs in terms of relationships imagine is the great unrequited love song for our species oh it's like it's like when you fall out of love with somebody and you write a song that's like what we could have been it's that but for us as people yeah let's write that
that's right yeah I'm like it's been ruined yeah I know but no but let's write another version of that that's nice that's like that's really that's intense Friday what we could have been right imagine what we could have been oh people sing it and they wave their arms in the air sway side to side and hug each other and say what a great date
night and they know they're actually on the precipice of the Apocalypse yeah I think there's a song though like I have a song called Magic on there and I don't think about it on this new album like it's like that's why though you hold on because you do you are imagining it you feel it's magical because here's the
thing about chemistry and why I named it that is like it's intoxicating it's fun it's wonderful it's a high that you will never experience from a drug like you know I'm saying there's no kind of drug that can give you that like and then also it can be detrimental you keep coming back to this place yeah because
it's magic for a minute you'll it's like people that are addicted to drugs it's like you're willing to throw away all this other time for that one moment of like euphoric like whatever you know um yeah and then you come back to reality and you realize things are tying me down chains you're writing the song right now
you just that's a great free it is it's a great it's a solid pre-chorus what's a hot Korea highlight for you I wrote a great pre once in an interview about devastating relationships it's track 14 on a 13 song album it's funny Mariah Carey has a song actually that I love that I come back to called side effects I don't know if you
know it but that's a it's a really solid song don't give her enough credit I think they give her quite a lot of credit people don't give her no no people give her credit it's like a singer I don't think people give her credit as a writer right I don't think people realize oh my God no and the thing is she like I
interviewed her all that does she wrote everyone thinks that um The Christmas Jam everyone thinks yeah everyone thinks that that's like a com like a combined effort and the perfect Christmas song she wrote that on a Casio tone in seven minutes totally I believe it she told me yeah she's like I woke up one day and I was like
for Christmas everyone thing I need on a Casio tone keyboard Casio she's like Ross on Friends right he didn't even get C Lee on it right so she's won the boss an overbeat writing that song and she's second only in passive income to Michael Jordan boom yeah that's what I'm saying I'm mean yeah no financially she's rocking it
because of what she's done I just mean I think people think of her as a songbird and and don't and don't lovely way to put it and they don't think of her as like the writers because we talk about Carol King we talk about James Taylor those are all amazing people yes but I'm just saying uh she's a beast there are a
number of it's not even not even voice was dead never watched wrestling but I'll take it um there are the main amount of hits like and not even hits like God looking at like she's got all these album trials I'm just saying like she's a beast she's a beast yeah you think about great writing I think about your journey and I think
about what music was for you as a kid and how it helped you form an identity that was your own and helped you connect with people with desire for connection I know you have a deep desire for connection I know that through the music through the TV show and just spending this time with you you like to connect you're curious you like the connective
tissue of humanity very curious I'm saying so I get it takes one to know one and and so I think about what music was for you in the beginning and I think how wonderful it must be now if if I may just provide you with a bit of perspective you probably wouldn't allow yourself um to be able to take a step because
artists don't no I know you you know me well to take a step you're about to compliment me I am I am I am and I've heard that Kelly doesn't take compliments very well but but I will receive it I to be able to take a step back from where you began and and just just absorb and and feel this this 14 song album and what the artist you become
and now what music means to you versus what it meant to you right like it's not the ticket to ride anymore it's yours to tell your story to leave these beautiful documents for people to absorb for your children to hear for your fans to hear like it's it's there for you now for the rest of your life do you know what I
mean when I say that yes but I will say this I think and I think for a lot of artists this is true probably um I think I've always been that person because you can ask labels they're not a fan of me because I'm always never about the money because they're always playing you know they'll shove money you to like
just record this I'm like I don't want to record that like that's not me like and there are compromises along the way whatever but um I think I've always been the person like music has always been a necessity for me um even like when I was a kid I had like a like I was saying I had a hard time with confronting
not only others but even myself if I'm being honest like with what I'm feeling and where I'm at and it was very hard for me to to describe or or put into words to have a conversation with someone so my mom shoved a journal in front of me and was like you if you're not gonna talk to me or anybody else
like write it down and Mom gets one that is so it started to change poetry and then it became lyrics and it became so I think it's always been a necessity yeah I'm being too simplistic you're right but I but I do I do I just think this album I just I guess what I'm really trying to say in a hand-fisted and clunky way is that you know
albums like this if you're lucky you get to write an album like this hear me out if if you go through something as visceral and is life-changing and is and is disruptive and heartbreaking is this and you get to come out of it with something that reflects that time in a positive and Healing Way in a validating way yeah that's that's
that's that's why I feel very blessed and fortunate that I am a person that can at least have something tangible like to like showcase that like you know for me like just even for me um I I do feel lucky because I don't think everybody has that voice not technically I mean like metaphorically that voice to like even be able to
to have something to hold or listen to or whatever to not to to memorialize it by any means but almost like a scrapbook like just a different chapter in your life and yeah I feel very lucky you've got such a perfect balance now because you get to immerse yourself in the human stories and you get to write your own yeah and
most artists write their own stories and they don't get to get the Curiosity of everybody else's to your point it can be very bubbling inducing experience yeah very egocentric ones yeah and now you get to give as much as you you get as much as you give and I just think it's just beautiful like long may that balance continue for you yeah I mean
congrats on everything that's happening for you I mean I know that your fans get the reason not to tour and and it will come when it comes but the Vegas shows will be fun and yeah we're excited about them because we usually only play two minute songs on the Kelly Clarkson show my band was like oh my God this is what
it feels like it's a pleasure play a full song one and then a full show yeah we're excited about it well I really enjoy this conversation Kelly and um I was looking forward to you know ever since we connected at the end of last year and I'm glad that we were able to go we went so thank you for your time until next time [Music]