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Did you ever want to be a relationship counselor or a counselor?
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Wait, did you ever be good at it?
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I feel like Yeah, I feel like your verbiage or vocabulary.
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I feel like, you know, you could really dig deep into I'm just trying to get us further every time. I love it.
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[Music] I was just going to start by saying, Cali, that um you've created such a a beautiful, honest, and immersive body of work.
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I mean, the amount of love you've put into this for us as fans, let alone just for yourself. What a gift. Thank you.
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This is a real manuscript for your life right now.
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I feel like this covers all the great things about love and devotion, but also the some of the hard things that come with dedicating yourself to those feelings and disappointment and happiness and all of that.
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Where do we begin on this, Cali?
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Where do you want to start? Yeah, it's hard to say.
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Yeah, I guess I've been realizing that I really made the album that I needed to heal myself because there was so many songs that I looked back on and without knowing the things that I would later have to go through, I had written them pre, you know, to everything that happened later. Yeah.
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So, in a way, it was it was like I really healed myself through the album. Wow. But almost in advance. It does happen.
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It's like your inner voice is trying to tell you something that you're not quite ready to acknowledge. Yeah.
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I think a lot of times because I make my my music is so like intuitive based most of the time, especially with this album.
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I wrote majority of the songs with no music.
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They just popped into my head and I would just voice record them and then I would later start working on them.
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There was never a session where I went in the studio and just made a song in the studio. Yeah. Yeah.
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You were just Didn't happen like that with any of them.
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You were transcribing life internally as you were living it. Yeah.
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Things would just kind of messages would just feel like they were directly coming through me and I just had to get them out.
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What was the first voice note or the first idea that that you remember recording where you realized that something had arrived?
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Um, the very first song that I made for the for the album, it was actually the first song in the album.
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Um, Heaven is a Home, the one you were just playing.
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That was the first song that I ever worked on for the entire project.
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And I just felt like something really special had just happened as soon as I made it.
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And I just knew that I had to open the entire body of work with that one.
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Must have been really great to be focusing on the words of the sentiment and the feeling without thinking about the the sound design or what was going to go into it because you can almost arrive at that point and just be like, "Okay, we can we can play with these any way we want because I'm not attached to the beat."
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You know, when you're writing in a studio normally, it's like, "Oh, that beat inspires me. I'll do that."
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And then you're sort of attached to the arrangement. Yeah.
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It's been really nice to come in there and be like, "Hey, I've got these words.
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I've got this this melody.
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I've got this What do we do with it? Yeah. Yeah.
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I feel like definitely my most free in regards to creatively and I mean I try to get as creative as I can with all of my albums.
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I always try to not restrict myself when it comes to being expressive, but with this one because of the way that I made it, pretty much all of it was made either at home or in random place.
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Like none of them were made in a studio. Yeah.
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So yeah, it was really different and I didn't feel obligated to have collaborators or I just don't feel that type of pressure for this album.
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I just feel like its purpose is meant to be um emotional and true and more so an encapsulation of my heart and me really pouring my soul as much as I can into a body of work. Yeah.
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And it didn't feel like for instance Orchidas it was so I had so many collaborations cuz it was more like a celebration.
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um of womanhood and femininity and Latin versus this one.
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It was kind of just a personification of a chapter of my life in a very honest and raw way and more so I I wanted to be able to really show because it's it's easier to make fun music.
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It's easier to make dance music just because you don't have to really put so much emotion into it.
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But when you're making emotional music, you have to actually dig into difficult subjects or thematically you have to pour a piece of yourself into it. And it takes a lot more.
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I think um I think being able to to really put a piece of me into it was my main goal.
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Were you expecting to make this album when you when you had any kind of creative space and you started to think about music again and and what you might want to make?
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Has it surprised you the depth and the honesty of which this album has become? Um, yeah.
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I mean, when I first started working on it, I knew that that was my intention and my goal with the project because that's the type of music that I love.
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Like more so, I'm either listening to Yeah. fun upbeat music.
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It's never anything in between.
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It's either something fun or it's something kind of emotional, melancholy.
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Um, and who ticks that box for you?
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Not to sidebar, but just quickly, who are some of the artists that fit into the the sort of emotional and melancholy side of your music taste? Um, I would say this.
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It's funny because I don't think if I would tell you that my inspirations and my the things I was listening to that inspired this album, you probably wouldn't necessarily hear that in the music.
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Um, Cockto Twins for sure. Love Cockto Twins. um loveless Fraser.
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I would say the most sonically that you could hear the influence of of that band in particular is the second half of Lose My Cool when you go and listen to it.
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I love Fiona Apple's writing just how it's so, you know, direct and it's so honest and cuts to the her use of vocabulary and the way it's real poetry.
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Um Amy Wine House, I also love her songwriting.
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M um just very direct right as and then cranberries I would say just things that are a little bit more um alternative to my other to my other work but I tried to also put a lot of um my original grounding in music like that dooop and oldie sound as well and kind of meet in the middle with it.
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What a beautiful place to arrive after this journey so far to get to a point where you're the most successful.
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That word's so weird now, isn't it?
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But it it does still translate.
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The most successful you've ever been in terms of having an audience and being able to reach people on math and to be able to make your most immersive and kind of beautiful body of work.
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And I love that word immersive because it is I have been struggling to find words that really, you know, explain this album.
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And I feel like immersive is a great word for it because it is one of those albums that I think it's meant to be listened to from top to bottom. Very much so.
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And I did because it came as one piece. I was grateful for that. Oh yeah.
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And you know I'm going to give you a couple of others just from my perspective as well.
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I I found the whole thing very comforting in many ways, you know, because you really are in the middle of it and it really surrounds you.
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It is that immersiveness and there's a sense of like, oh, it helps me and I'm sure will help millions of people better understand those feelings, you know. Yeah. Yeah.
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There's a lot of grief, but there's a lot of joy.
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And um I would say introspection.
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I think I have leaned a lot on existentialism like in a lot of the lyrics it kind of goes back to that theme of you know no matter how the world is you know or the state of the world and things of that nature.
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So I think um it's a broad term existentialism and it's such a you have to come up with your own unique combination of factors.
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It means something different to everybody. It does.
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The holistic journey is very unique.
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Um, how have and it's a lifelong process too.
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So, this isn't a neat there's no neat answer to this, but as of today, how have you approached your version of existential understanding?
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How do you better understand that life is full of ups, but also things you can't understand that take us low? Yeah.
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I think something that always resonated with me was feeling that my life was a movie and understanding that the lows are all a part of the journey and trying not to let them, you know, keep me there and um and but I think more so like now that I have experienced even more
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um I think accepting, you know, that maybe death isn't really the end and that life isn't really necessarily what majority of us make it to be and that a lot of the things that we're doing here aren't necessarily important and um it's not it's not it's not the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah.
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And kind of just looking at the bigger picture in regards to in regards to our existence is a lot of what the album even though it might not always seem like that's what's what it's about.
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I kind of always fall back on that kind of trying to look at the grander scheme of things.
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It feels like it when you hear it. That's what I mean.
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And it feels comforting to know that what we don't understand, it's okay.
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Like I get a sense that you're immersing yourself in that I and everyone who cares about you and your music was sorry for your loss. And Oh, thank you.
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You know, it is it's a ter terrible loss when you lose someone who ultimately guided you through a big part of your life and was there for you. Yeah.
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Um if I may ask, you know, what was the immediate feeling beyond grief that you got from that in terms of like, okay, let me focus on the strength that I'm going to take from from my life that I got to spend with with my mother before she moved on. Yeah.
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Well, I I actually have lost a lot of people since I was really young.
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And I had a series of years where every it felt like the holidays used to always be really hard for me because every holiday I would lose somebody.
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And um and and so when I first started working on the project, I did have a bit of that sense of grief in Heaven Knows and like songs like that, but without knowing that my mom was going to pass.
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So I think later and that's why I say when I made the music I ended up making the music that I needed to heal because later when I listened to it it took on such a deep it resonated with me on such a deeper level than I even realized when
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I like you know when I first wrote some of that I was thinking more so about like my niece she's also passed away and my cousin but I didn't realize my mom was also going to be one of those people that I was thinking about. Um so yeah I think it's I think it's in
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Um so yeah I think it's I think it's in it in its own way also similar to how I said okas is a celebration I think it is a celebration of life in its own way in the sense of um finding beauty and the pain and um taking the good I have some songs that
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are going to be on the deluxe which were written after my mom's passing which are more so focused on that more so remembering the good things and um making those memories be the most pertinent in your mind so that you can really get through the bad. Where do you
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Where do you trace this love of art back to?
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Honestly, from my very first memories, my very first um time that I could write or that I could speak, I was writing music and I was coming up with songs and just as long as I can remember.
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I remember, you know, embarrassing my family because when we would be out, I would just be in my own world like on the side like woo in my own little world.
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I was that little kid that was just, you know, very imaginative, coming up with songs and singing.
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And I was in a whole play over there on the side.
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It takes a while for families to understand.
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It takes a while for families to understand that we're all different and unique because we all want to roll as one as one thing. Yeah.
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But I I grew up in a household of a lot of different people and I have a lot of brothers and sister and um Yeah. and everything.
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So, but I was the youngest and so a lot of times I would play by myself and I think that that also helped me creatively just kind of become more imaginative and I was always in my own world in a sense.
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What story if you if if you know whenever you would be in a room with people when your mom would be there or you anyone who knows you truly really well would be there.
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What's what's the one story you can share that everyone would say?
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Well, I remember when you were little you would do this.
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You're like there's always one story they pull out, right? Yeah.
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My aunt My aunt made me laugh cuz I forgot.
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She was telling me about how when I would play with all the neighborhood kids, I was always the one telling everybody what to do. Typical young.
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I was always the one coming up be seen. Yeah.
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I was always the one, okay, so this is what we're going to play.
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You're going to be this person.
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You're going to be that person. This is the game.
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This is like I was the coordinator of the neighborhood.
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Um, you know, play playtime or whatever.
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You already had that DVA energy, right?
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I used to do performances for them too.
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I used to sing for them and um yeah, it was really fun.
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I still remember I have this core memory that never left me um in Colombia and I was like in a tent with my cousin. Yeah.
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And I was singing to her in English and I just remember opening the tent and all of these people were outside of the tent listening cuz they were like who is that in there? Wow.
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I think it was more so because they were like who is singing who is this little girl singing an English song?
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You know like nobody at that in that neighborhood spoke English.
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Um, but it was just this core memory I had while I was a crazy core memory.
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I was like, "Oh, I gagged the neighborhood. I'm shutting it down." Um, what was it?
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What What are some of your favorite memories of of the time you spend in Colombia?
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I'm actually due to go this year for the first time. What are you going to? I don't know yet.
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We're waiting to find out.
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But, um, it's Everybody loves like Barancija, Mein, but Kartahena kind of like more of the if you're more into like the island and stuff. Y and the coast.
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Um, but my core memories is definitely going to school, walking to school and having it be pouring rain out of nowhere and then just the rain stopping and it just be rainbow.
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Like it was just just the energy of of in the streets was just the best probably energy.
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And then I still remember every morning like waking up and me and my cousins having to help each other like take showers like having to heat up the water and pour the water on each other and playing all the time.
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I had a cat named Bruito cuz we found him um during Halloween.
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He was just in one of the rooms.
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A lot of the houses well that that I've been in will have kind of like a open patio situation in the house.
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And so I guess that's how the cat got in and he was on the ceiling hanging to the ceiling.
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And so we called him Bruhito, which means like little witch cat. And um he stuck around. Yeah.
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He used to let me dress him up in baby doll clothes and a little stroller.
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And he was just the best cat. Cats are so strange.
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I mean, you just can kind of figure it out, right?
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Like some cats are just literally like feed me and get the away from me.
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Another cats are just like, "Yeah, I'll play doll." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was such a sweet cat.
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But yeah, I have a lot of good memories.
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Um I still remember my first big earthquake.
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Actually, a lot of people lost their homes and their lives that day.
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Um, it was a huge earthquake.
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I remember the house shaking and running into the street and asking my mom what was going on.
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And so, I have a lot of core memories growing up there.
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Um, that randomly pop into my head sometimes.
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And, um, it's interesting.
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Now that you're a mother, you must be connecting the dots in a really unique way as well because obviously you built a life for yourself in another part of the world, but it's all part of this beautiful history, this family heritage that you have.
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And it's so easy when children are born generationally for that to get lost, right?
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No, he he knows Spanish already. There you go.
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He knows Spanish already cuz I speak Spanish to him all the time.
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And then um all of his books are bilingual books, so he knows everything.
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You know, when he wants bread, he's like banan. Yeah.
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When he wants more, he says mass. Yeah. Aua. You know, he knows that. He knows everything. Yeah.
15:49
And he's very he's very cognitive already of like if I'm talking to him, he knows everything that I'm saying because do you speak to him in a pretty direct way? He fully understands. You don't baby talk him. No. No. Well, yeah. Well, yes.
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That's my baby, so of course I baby talk. I baby talk my man.
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Like I baby talk all the time.
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But when I'm telling him, like if I'm like, "Oh, can you gra can you get this for mommy or bring this to grandma or whatever?"
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Um, he will immediately know exact he, you know, he'll grab the whatever it is I ask for, he'll give it to that person.
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Like he always knows exactly what I'm asking him to do.
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So he's very, very smart.
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Can we talk about the song on the album that best sums up motherhood for you? Oh, yeah. Definitely.
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Love you so much, it hurts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
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So, let's talk a little bit about writing that because I was just talking to someone before we spoke about how it it can be much more straightforward sometimes to sing about the pain.
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Uh, and you know, to reiterate the same thing you've been saying and and that um, you know, it's to to go into a deeper place and and to and to deal with that pain can sometimes just be more available.
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But when it when it's time to write a song that's just about love in its most undiluted, purest, most dedicated form is a whole different thing.
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Um, you've written love songs before, but this one must have felt different. Absolutely. Yeah.
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And it it quite literally came to me as I was in the hospital bed still.
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So, it was pretty immediate.
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And um like hours after birth. Yeah. Yeah.
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And so I start that's when I started the song.
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I started the voice recordings and I started writing.
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And then as soon as I got home, I finished writing it and um and I sent it to Josh Crocker who I work with all the time. He's from the UK.
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He did a lot of isolation and um he started building around it and then I sent it to Dylan and Dylan built around it a little more and that was how it came to life.
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But it fully got finished while I was just on my you know on my bed resting and recovering with tears in your eyes literally. Yeah.
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Because every time I looked into my son's actually as soon as my son was born we immediately both just were crying holding him and it was just a feeling that I've never ever felt before. Um, yeah.
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And a connection that I never ever had before.
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So, yeah, I felt I felt really inspired.
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But I mean, people it's people can artist subjective.
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People can dedicate it to whoever they want.
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Of course, cuz I have been seeing a lot of discourse about like, oh, don't you guys shouldn't dedicate this to your boyfriend is deeper than that.
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But I'm like, you guys can use it however you like. Yeah, it's a trade. It's a trade.
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At the end of the day, the songs get applied as and when.
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Um, you know, that's that's the right of every fan to be able to feel them in different ways.
18:19
But I think it's also good to get the context, especially in a song as specific as that because you do really beautifully sum up that sense of just unbridled devotion, you know, in that song. Yeah.
18:30
The tears show up a lot on this record.
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Either tears of joy, as we just talked about, or the tears of sadness and of grief.
18:35
That's kind of the theme of this, isn't it?
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Like, let the emotion be. Yeah.
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I love um a lot of people have been saying that the song made them cry.
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And I love that because I love the idea that the music is able to touch somebody that deeply that it really, you know, hits them in the heart. I love that. Yeah.
18:51
Do you choose music in your own life to do that specifically? Like absolutely.
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I definitely have songs that are like this song is going to help me cry cuz you have to like you can't your body literally can't hold on to that.
19:03
And you know as women we are so much more predispositioned to even just autoimmune diseases, illnesses because we retain so much and we hold so much in and we you know think we have to be strong and actually it's okay to let it out.
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It's a very very astute point because I spoke to somebody about the job and it is a job that the body does to protect you.
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If your brain hasn't created a bridge for you to process the information, the body will jump in front of it for you.
19:32
People don't realize we really have to let go of all of that stuff. So, yeah.
19:35
Otherwise, it can make you really sick.
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Yeah, you have to go through it.
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And that's that's something I've been talking about a lot is just about not and that's a big theme of this project as well is about not avoiding pain and letting yourself feel it in order to let go of it.
19:51
Kelly, this is one of those moments where I hope that, you know, the trust that we've built up in conversations over the years, you know, will resonate with you as I try to approach this really thoughtfully, which is to address some of the pain on this record and and where you want to go and to talk about just some of the some of the experiences that have found their way into these songs and what just what you're willing to talk about really. Yeah.
20:10
Like what ultimately have where do we find you at this point on this album and what have you had to let deal with and let go of?
20:17
Well, obviously like the main two things that I was going through in my life, pregnancy, because when I wrote the first song, Heaven Knows, I didn't even I I don't know if I was pregnant yet.
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I didn't know that I was pregnant yet.
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So, I went through this music is over the course of my entire pregnancy and my postpartum journey.
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So, I wrote it over the course of a long time.
20:37
And you started the album with your mother, which is like there's such an incredible combination of things going on here.
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So, you know, it's it's it's the grief and the lifealtering event of losing my mom while that joy and grief also of becoming a mom. Yeah.
20:55
And um and then all the little things in between.
20:58
I think just life experiences in general that if anything was a self-titled album like this is Kaluchi, it would be this album.
21:09
Um, you know, even in It's Just Us that, you know, I talk a little bit about leaving home and getting kicked out of the house when I was young, which I've never talked about in music.
21:19
And I just wanted to tell more about the stories of my experiences.
21:25
Looking back on on that moment in your life when you were forced into independence because there'd been a disconnection between you and the people who were raising you. Mhm. Who were you back then?
21:36
Do you understand the decision back then?
21:37
Does it do you see all sides of that equation?
21:41
And like what are your feelings about that moment?
21:42
Because it's a pivotal moment in one's life. Yeah.
21:45
When you realize that I've I've now got to stand by my own behavior, my own actions because I'm no longer fitting into this environment the way that I was. Yeah.
21:54
Well, I think in general, it's funny because a lot of my friends from back home always say that I have never changed and that I'm exactly the same, but I feel that I have changed so much.
22:04
So So what do you think they mean by that?
22:06
I think they mean more so probably in a positive way of like, oh, you didn't let the fame change you or get to your head, you know?
22:15
I think they mean it more so in that sense, but I don't necessarily take Yeah, exactly.
22:18
But I don't I don't take it as a dig if someone says you changed.
22:23
Um I take that as a compliment cuz I'm like, "Oh, I would have hoped that I would change over the course of 10 years."
22:28
You know, I would hope that there was some type of evolving that occurred during that time.
22:35
So, I think looking back on that period in my life, I mean, obviously, I was very naive.
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Um, I was just getting started making music.
22:42
I didn't really understand where that would take me or that that would actually be a career.
22:48
I I think I never expected it to get this far ever.
22:52
Um, so I was kind of just making a decision to choose myself and my my art.
23:00
And I knew that no matter what, no matter where life took me, the most important thing to me was being who I am, an artist.
23:13
Backing yourself and choosing Yeah.
23:13
and choosing um choosing that over comfort.
23:20
And I so I knew essentially that it was going to be hard for me.
23:22
Um my issues in regards to my home life, it's it goes so much deeper than people really understand because I've never really talked about the main underlying issues that were the root of the problem really.
23:37
Um but I would just say there's no child really that just chooses not to come home for no reason.
23:45
Like there's always a reason why you're not going home. Yeah.
23:48
And I think a lot of times people blame because in my adolescence I was you know wild and crazy and a lot of people blame the kids when at the end of the day I don't really think you should ever blame the kids.
23:59
I think you should always look at why a child is acting that way. Yeah. Yeah.
24:02
Um so yeah I would just say that you know obviously um everyone is just figuring out how to be a human and going through their own stuff.
24:15
And so I've learned to give grace to a lot of my family members and, you know, my parents and everybody that I grew up with.
24:23
And I've learned to just forgive and accept that all of it made me who I am today and that God had a bigger purpose for me. What a relief.
24:32
What a relief to get to that place where you don't have to carry it. Absolutely. on you anymore. Yeah.
24:38
Well, of course, it's a lot easier because my life is great right now.
24:43
So my life could have taken a turn for the worst easily.
24:45
But isn't it one before the other?
24:47
Like ultimately don't doesn't that it's like in order to reach a place where you can acknowledge and appreciate the life that you've built for yourself, you have to be able to acknowledge and let go of the life that was laid before you. Mhm.
24:58
Look at you being prolific.
25:04
But you know what I mean?
25:04
I'm just repeating kind of what you're saying.
25:05
I mean I think I don't think that they're unrelated is my point. Mhm. I see that. Yeah.
25:11
Yeah. cuz I just remember there was a lot of there was a couple I want I don't want to say a lot but there was a couple people in school who used to be like all right girl like when you're like later in life when you're uh homeless just call me I'll let you sleep on my couch like a lot of people used to expect that I wasn't going to make anything of
25:30
myself that projection of fear is such a crusher when you're that age as well it's like your fear is not my fear I used to just I used I honestly have most times let things roll off my back because I think From a very young age, I understood that people project a lot and also there's a lot of there's always been a lot of jealousy out there, envy. And so I used to take that as, you know,
25:49
And so I used to take that as, you know, people who were afraid to live their lives.
25:53
They used to, you know, try to project fear onto me.
25:55
That's not like that's like, you know, projection 101.
26:00
It's like, oh, you're going to take a risk.
26:01
Well, I'm terrified of taking a risk, so good luck with your risk. Yeah, exactly.
26:04
See you right back here in a year. Right. And I understood that.
26:06
And even, you know, when I worked at the grocery store, I've always been so um I've always been so disappointed by the way that older women treat young girls in the workplace.
26:19
And that's in every workplace.
26:20
I just feel like they're such haters.
26:22
And I don't understand why because you literally know what it was like to be a young girl.
26:26
You know, I remember what it was like, we're talking about it right now, to be that age.
26:29
And I would never try to discourage a girl from chasing her dreams or from being who she wants to be.
26:36
And um I don't know, I just feel like there was so much hate and envy and just all around um discouragement from um everybody that that lived in my town.
26:52
People you should feel comfortable looking up to. Yeah.
26:53
So I felt like I needed to get out.
26:55
And that's why young girls and young women love you.
26:57
That's why whenever I've seen you perform live, it's so many women respond to your music in such a real way because you, you know, you offer them that sense of understanding and empathy like, "Hey, I'm on the stage right now, but I I can sing these songs and we can sing them together." Yeah. There's no division.
27:13
It must feel really special for you at times when you're on stage.
27:17
I know that you're Calli, you're an incredible performer. Thank you.
27:21
And you know, you approach everything with the same level of detail and love that you do in your art, performance included.
27:26
So, and I know there's a lot of, you know, you you're in a very stylized environment, making sure that everything is shadowed and angled perfectly, but you must allow yourself the space to be able to see how the music is reacting with people. Must be moving for you. Yeah, definitely. Definitely.
27:42
I think I don't think that I've ever had a song where people were like, "This song, well, that this many people were like, "This song touched me to the point where it actually made me draw tears."
27:52
Um, so it's it's very special for me and I'm very special to just be more vulnerable in general because I feel like how I said oras was a really special project but it was also just fun and easier because of that because well you had purpose right for that you were you it had it had a different intention.
28:14
This is for this is for this it's for this is this is for me it's for lots of these things whereas this is sincerely you.
28:19
Yeah, but this one is harder for that reason because I think that it's a lot more challenging to actually dig into yourself and put a piece of versus like a dance project. It's just fun. I don't know.
28:34
It's complet It's a completely different environment in making it.
28:36
You just It just happens so easily and it's just like, "Oh yeah, throw this person on it.
28:41
That's going to be cool."
28:41
And this one is like nobody could just get thrown on one of these songs.
28:46
You know what I'm saying?
28:47
It's not that type of music. No.
28:49
As soon as it begins, you realize that this is going to be a completely different experience in a very very like I've said, immersive and also committed way. Like you're committed.
28:58
Like you don't there's no skips going on here. Oh, thank you.
29:00
Um, what song was the hardest for you to finish?
29:05
What was the one that was really that you had to really wrestle with?
29:06
I wouldn't say any of them were hard to finish.
29:10
If anything, I would say they all came very naturally because because there's so much there's so much musicality going on in these songs. That's true.
29:20
But I feel like when something feels difficult to finish, I usually scrap it. I'm not going to lie.
29:27
Like if something is just not naturally coming into finished classics. Oh yeah.
29:32
I have so many demos because if something just feels like it's not coming into fruition the way that it naturally should, I'm like, I guess the song wasn't meant to be because it's just not working.
29:45
You so you put it through the filter of like it's it's not coming to me through the portal of inspiration.
29:52
So therefore, it's not meant to exist, which is another way of being lazy. No, I'm just No. Oh my gosh.
30:00
I want to say I put so much work into finishing them in regards of the details, the mixing, the production. Of course, I'm kidding. Listen to this album.
30:08
The songwriting, if the song isn't isn't just coming like, okay, for instance, Loner, one of my first songs that really got me my core fan base, Loner, from my mixtape, by the way, it's not an album, Borvida.
30:24
Um, this is a free body of work.
30:24
Uh, that was literally I didn't, like I said, I was very naive at that time.
30:30
I didn't even know what punching a vocal meant.
30:35
I didn't know that people could actually do multiple takes and comp a vocal.
30:40
I didn't like this completely uncomped.
30:46
Just that song in particular, one take and it just I was like, that's perfect. It's done.
30:53
And then I did the background vocals.
30:54
I did the harmonies and it was finished.
30:56
And I did it all within like a matter of an hour and the song was done.
31:02
And I think the fact that it resonated that way that it did, sure the vocals might not have been perfect.
31:08
I might listen to it now and cringe like, "Oh my gosh, I sound horrible.
31:11
I could not sing at all."
31:14
But the way that it felt it fell together intuitively that way made me realize because that's happened time time and time again.
31:23
Wishy Roses for instance, Moonlight.
31:25
These are things that kind of just came into my head.
31:27
They came out of me in a way that I couldn't explain that felt just very natural and they were my best ones that resonated the deepest on a on a grander scheme on a bigger level.
31:41
So after just having that experience of witnessing that and seeing the difference between a song like that versus a song that I'm kind of like I call it like Frankensteining like you're trying to like yeah comp this calm that
31:53
cut edit this that that yeah I end up just being like you know what it's okay you're talking about this really essential life experience which is letting go which is a whole that's the it's the journey of life is to try to get to that point where you Yeah. And And it's hard. It's really hard.
32:06
It's really hard to let go.
32:09
And it becomes increasingly hard when you have things that you're holding on to that are more precious than yourself.
32:13
And so like for you to have made it a body of work where you've let go of of your emotions in such clear and and such generous way to me is is fascinating given this time in your life when you know you're experiencing a deeper kind of love that is hard to let go in.
32:30
like it's really hard to let go of your fears and anxieties when you become a parent.
32:37
I felt Oh yeah, definitely to balance but somehow you found a way to cut through into this place.
32:43
So I guess my question is what do you know better about yourself having made this record?
32:50
Where's been a really clear learning for you in terms of your your self-awareness, your self-nowledge?
32:57
M I feel like every time I make a project at the ends of it I'm like okay I did that like I can do whatever I want.
33:07
Like I I had somebody a writer recently that I was speaking to and they're like you know before I put your album on I really didn't know what to expect because everything that you make is so different and I just never know.
33:18
Like I'm like okay this could literally be anything like whatever any genre or like whether it was Spanish or English.
33:24
He didn't even he wasn't entirely sure what to expect.
33:26
And for me, that's the beauty of my artistry is that I'm able to just freely express whatever I want to express and push myself.
33:36
Um, and with this project in particular, I feel that that emotional range was what I was trying to show myself that I could do.
33:45
Um, it feels like your opus to me as of right now.
33:47
It feels like, you know, the grandest statement artistically you've made in your life today. Thank you.
33:52
And that's not to that's not to detract from any of the other records you've made just in terms of the overall commitment. Yeah, I agree. I agree.
33:59
I feel it's my most heartfelt work and that was that was really what I was trying to do.
34:05
I think um I think it would be a lot easier as an artist to just follow a path of like you know telepathy was a sound that worked for me.
34:17
Let me just do telepathy again 20 times. Right. Right.
34:18
I could have done that in my Sell a few more tickets. Sell a few more tickets.
34:24
Yeah, let's just do a whole tour and play talia 90 times.
34:25
Um, you know, I could have done that in my sleep if I wanted to, but as an artist, I feel that it's my it's my duty to keep pushing myself to do different things.
34:36
You know, there was a fan that said to me like, "What's the moonlight off of this album?"
34:45
And I'm like, "There is no moonlight from this album."
34:47
Because question though, right?
34:48
Cuz it's just like, "I kind of love that song.
34:50
It must be like something that relates to the same thing, but I'm like, I'm sorry.
34:53
I cannot make the same thing twice. I just can't. Yeah.
35:00
Yeah. Um, yeah, artists say that all the time and it's I think it's hard for people who don't make art to understand why can't you xerox your No, but I feel that there are so many artists that I know what to expect in regards to
35:12
because they found their niche or they found their what works for them and their demographic and they can just copy and paste the same sound and the same, you know, thematically ideals over and over and over again and know that it's going to work. Yeah. But you referenced Yeah.
35:26
But you referenced three artists that never and they do that. Yeah. No. No, but exactly.
35:29
The artists that I look up to don't do that. So, yeah. Yeah.
35:33
How does it uh how does it work at home in terms of music?
35:36
Like, do you listen to a lot of music at home that when you're not making music, do you try to keep a silent house?
35:40
Like, what's your relationship with music in the house?
35:43
Um, I have a playlist that I continually add to, which is my house music, and it's normally now and then playing.
35:51
I also have my music, my playlist for my son, which is usually playing cuz his playroom is the entire living room.
35:59
So the whole house is just his playroom at this point.
36:00
He's got the ox at all times basically. Yeah.
36:03
So most of it is but he has great taste in music. So it is What's he into? Can I ask? Um okay.
36:09
Some of his favorite songs.
36:09
How is he now by the way? How old is he? Um he's over a year.
36:12
So he's he's a year in a couple months. Okay, cool. So he's Yeah. So he's moving to what?
36:15
Um he loves um Forget Me Not by Patrice.
36:19
That's like one of his favorite songs.
36:21
You go forget and then we do the claps, you know.
36:25
He He does the claps on time.
36:27
Um He does the claps on time.
36:30
Yeah, he loves There's like a break in that song that is just claps and he always knows when it's coming. Yeah, it's so funny. He loves that song.
36:37
He loves Space Cowboy Juai. He loves that song.
36:40
We start the day with that song a lot. Um amazing.
36:45
Yeah, he loves Thundercat.
36:45
Gaba Gaba um Orange Cat song. He loves that song.
36:48
So he's like a neomodern newwave soul funkier right now. Yeah.
36:55
At the time that's that's his way.
36:57
But he also, you know, his dad his daddy would play him like random obscure rappers and trap music and he likes that too.
37:05
So he you know he a little bit of everything.
37:07
Um do you catch do you catch his dad just like don't you love it when you're a parent and you catch the other parent in a moment that they don't know you're there just observing and just the love that you see in that?
37:19
Yeah, he's obsessed with him.
37:21
He's so obsessed with our son.
37:22
But it's so cute because he knows when Don is playing his music, he knows that it's his daddy.
37:28
And when I'm playing my music, he knows that it's me. Amazing. Yeah.
37:32
And he he loves both of our music, too.
37:34
So, yeah, that's always fun. I love you, fella.
37:36
You know, it's it's the dream.
37:37
You found this beautiful, amazing opportunity to share what you both love to do together, to better understand each other, that the push and the pull is necessary in order to re realize your dreams.
37:47
And there's an empathy in this relationship that allows you to continue to do that.
37:50
And that's really special, isn't it?
37:52
Because a lot of times when you when you fall in love with somebody who there's a lot of exceptions that have to be made based on what it is you want to do with your life.
38:02
But you two kind of understand the need to do this, right?
38:05
It's a need to make music. It's a need to travel.
38:07
It's a need to do these things.
38:09
Did you ever want to be a relationship counselor or a counselor?
38:13
Why did you be good at it? I feel like Yeah.
38:14
I feel like your verbiage or vocabulary I feel like you know you could really dig deep into I'm just trying to get us further every time cuz by the way like we've met quite a few times and I feel like Oh yeah, definitely.
38:27
We but we've covered some ground. We have.
38:28
And so every time that you say yes to come in and talk to me about your music, I'm always like I get to cover new I get to cover new ground.
38:37
Um but this is our third session now.
38:40
This is our third session off the back of a few sort of short FaceTime get to know each other type situations.
38:43
You hold the record for being one of the best conversations in the worst rooms ever.
38:49
Do you remember that one you did where you sat down in a chair in the middle of a fourtory spiral staircase? No, dude.
38:54
This is Kelly said, "Great, Cali. Good to see you. Hello. How's it going? How you doing?"
38:59
You can't hear, but really I don't remember that. When was that?
39:04
There was like a 35 second reverb on everything that you said. It was the best. Oh my god. It was so funny.
39:08
Maybe I needed to add some theatrics to the interview.
39:12
I was like, I'm going to You sound like you were coming from another dimension. Oh my gosh.
39:17
Anyway, my question was like just that beautiful ability to be able to share this experience.
39:21
Let's talk about not taking that for granted and what that is to be able to know that you know you're in an art in a house full of art and full of artists.
39:28
Yeah, it's really fun cuz we like to do creative stuff with him.
39:32
Like we paint a lot with him.
39:34
you know, his dad is doing piano lessons and so he's he likes to play piano with his dad and stuff like that.
39:41
I think it's just fostering that, you know, we see that very early he has that passion for whatever it may be. He is an artist, too. Yeah.
39:47
Um, so fostering that as much as we can. Yeah.
39:50
Let's talk a little bit about where you want to go with this record because now you've made this beautiful body of work and again once again so stylized and so beautiful.
39:58
I can imagine the images and the visuals are coming to you thick and fast.
40:00
So, uh, what is your capacity to bring this to life for people in in on a tour and whatnot?
40:06
Yeah, we're working on the tour visuals right now. How's it going?
40:08
It's definitely going to be the most exciting that I've ever done.
40:12
I'm really really looking forward to it.
40:14
And um, is it is it can I without giving anything away cuz obviously the reveal on night one is the most important thing, but um, has it come easily to you given how sort of again immersive and creative this album is across the board?
40:27
I feel like touring things are never as easy.
40:30
For instance, making music is the easiest thing for me.
40:36
Touring things get a little bit more complicated, right?
40:40
Because sometimes you might even have ambitions that go beyond the budget, you know, or you may have, you know, you may have certain things like I want everything, you know, like.
40:51
So, I'm trying to, you know, get as grandiose with it as I can while still being economically conscious.
40:59
But you're really good at that.
41:01
Like, I feel your the last show I saw you do, you know, the the your the effectiveness of the silhouette and the way that you used color and shade in order to create drama.
41:09
Um, I'm sure it wasn't cheap, but it definitely looked like a creative exercise rather than a check. Thank you. Just got cut. Yeah.
41:19
Probably my favorite stage production and I designed it was um these stairs that it was kind of like a cake like it was like a little circle, a bigger circle, a bigger circle.
41:28
It was on the Cali Georgia tour and the top circle revolved and it was so funny because obviously I was meant to come out and have this moment where it revolved and I was at the top and I'm supposed to be standing on it.
41:41
But when I got to the production rehearsals, it was like big enough for just my feet to be standing on it like with my legs together. It's like spinal tap.
41:51
It's like I said 20 ft, not 20 in. It was so funny.
41:53
We still laugh about that how I showed up to the to the rehearsal and I was like, "What?"
41:59
And I had to have my I had to have my what the is this?
42:01
Take this back moment, you know?
42:05
Um, so you know, I had to get I had to, you know, do that and yeah, they ended up figuring it out and we ended up getting Yeah, cuz they end up figuring it out cuz you were like, "What the is this back?"
42:16
I was like, "Um, I was like, Mike, please you go stand on that.
42:21
Stand on that and tell me what you think about that the dimensions you a little bit a little wobbling and you just falling down the whole stairs." Insane.
42:29
At what point do you think they put it together and we're just like, "Huh?"
42:32
I I thought I was being I really thought it was a joke at first when I got there.
42:35
I thought they were trolling me and I was like, "Okay, bring out the real one. Where is it? It's in the back."
42:40
Awful moment when you realize it that that while you're laughing, they're desperately straight.
42:43
Like, yeah, I think that's why it's so important, you know, over the course of time, I've kind of just found people that understand now, you know, what I'm trying to do and we try to be a lot more Who inspires you out of your out of your out of your peer group?
42:59
Who Who's really, you think, getting it right right now? Who do you love to see? Who inspires me?
43:01
Honestly, I'm so inspired by all the girls.
43:03
I feel like everyone's doing great right now.
43:07
Um, Sis is doing her thing. JT's doing her thing. Who's on tour right now?
43:13
That's why you came out with Jenny at Coachella. Oh, yeah. We love Jenny. Peie. Yeah, she's so good.
43:16
And I love I just love that she can really dance.
43:19
I wish I could dance like that.
43:20
She could dance her ass off.
43:21
And I just have to tell myself like, okay, not too much on the dancing because I'm not a trained dance.
43:28
Some of these girls are really trained dancers.
43:29
Yeah, but the way that you use shape, the way that you use your kind of just making it more sultry, more intentional. I can't do choreography.
43:37
I just it just goes in one ear or the other.
43:41
It's a different kind of feeling though when you It's more so I like to just be intentional with my movements on stage.
43:46
And I think that I think learning myself as a performer meant kind of being able to understand what works for me in regards to movement, what works for me in regards to um the show and the story that I really want to tell on stage.
44:01
So yeah, I'm really excited about this next tour because I just feel like I have unlocked a new level of my artistry and also just even how we were talking about how my capacity to feel is a lot deeper than before. Yeah.
44:15
Um, and so I feel that I will be sometimes I felt that I was just going through the motions on stage if I didn't really want to do a show that night or I'm tired or might be going through something or my my head might be in another headsp space.
44:27
I don't feel that that's going to happen on this tour because I feel that I am just in a different more focused locked in mentality.
44:35
Do you feel like this tour you can tell all the stories in one? You know what I mean?
44:39
Because there's so many use, you know, in a great way. Yeah. Yeah.
44:43
Well, something really fun that I can tell you about the tour that I haven't said anywhere else, I don't think, is that um we are going to do a A and a B stage because I didn't get to tour oras and so that's going to be its own oras is going to have it own moment. Yeah.
44:58
You're going to get to be able to party as well and do your thing in a very different because they're so different. Yeah. Yeah.
45:01
That's going to be really special.
45:02
How how long do you want to tour this record for?
45:04
Like how do you look at touring these days and travel?
45:07
That's the difficulty right now because you know obviously my team is like they just want to take it there and you know um cuz you do real tickets Cali.
45:18
I mean you sell a lot of tickets. Yeah.
45:20
And I've been avoiding going overseas for a long time.
45:23
I know I'm asking on behalf of the world right now. Yeah.
45:27
Um it's just it's just so much and I don't know.
45:31
It's so um Do you travel when you're not on tour? Yeah.
45:33
But with my man, I travel.
45:35
I pretty much go most places with him.
45:38
But so it's something to do with the same. It's not the same.
45:41
So what is when you're just on somebody else's ride and like this is cute. Yeah. Great show, baby.
45:46
Versus like actually, you know, tour is so stressful and it takes so much and I have to put majority of my focus on my son and if I'm doing, you know, if I'm doing that, I can't like focus on him the way that I need to and it's just not it's just not the same.
46:00
But so, okay, that is 100% fair. I'm figuring it out. trying to figure it out.
46:05
And you don't need me to say that or anyone else to say that, but my opinion for what it's worth is that that I think makes total sense. There is a lot.
46:11
We are figuring out a way to You knew there was a butt coming, so you're jumping in.
46:15
You knew there was a I had a butt lined up.
46:17
I don't want to make people think there's no hope because there is.
46:20
And we're we're trying to figure it out. Where Okay.
46:22
So, where do you really feel you're overdue?
46:24
Like, where would you want to go and play where you really feel like Okay.
46:28
I think, you know, they've been asking for a long time in Europe and I've never done a Europe tour.
46:33
I've done some festivals in Europe, but I've never Bad Bunny, man.
46:36
You and Bad Bunny have just been Has he never done a tour in Europe?
46:40
Never done a European tour. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. Yeah, I never done it.
46:44
Um, but uh yeah, we'll see.
46:44
I mean, it's such a big production this next tour that my team is just like, you'll be crazy to not utilize this as much as you can and like actually go knock it out in Europe.
46:56
Is there a part of you that's excited by that idea?
46:58
Honestly, um, speaking honestly, yeah, always I don't really want that right now.
47:12
I kind of almost feel like I mean, I do want to tour this album because it is such a special, you know, I do miss the stage.
47:20
I do love to I love touring to an extent, but I like to have boundaries with it.
47:25
And especially now that I'm a mom, I just feel like I can't, you know, if it was up to, you know, if it was up to other people, I would have just been on a tour 5 days postpartum, you know, like I would have been I would have been blah blah blah working every day, my whole pregnancy, my whole postpartum.
47:42
I would I would spend 10 minutes a day with my son.
47:44
Um, if that So I have to like if nobody like if no if anybody's going to do it, it's me.
47:55
I have to stick up for me and my kids. So, yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
47:57
But I mean, I'm excited to see it on stage and see how the music, you know, translates on stage.
48:08
I mean, this is that my butt was going to be I I understand why that there's an interest in trying to get this to in front of people because this is a body of work that, you know, if it's immersive to listen to imagine what it's going to be like to experience with people. Yeah. Yeah.
48:25
I think it's going to be really beautiful, really fun, but we'll see logistically how we can Yeah.
48:32
how long we can really do it for.
48:35
Listen, in 2025, if we've learned nothing else over the course of the history of arts and commerce, it's trust the artist. It's trust your vision.
48:43
You know, you know what you want.
48:45
You know what you're capable of at this point in life and what it is that's going to keep you excited.
48:49
So, who are we to say anything otherwise? Yeah, definitely.
48:50
Because I think a lot of people end up burning themselves out.
48:53
And yeah, of course, that's going to be counterproductive at the end of the day.
48:58
But you got music to make, huh?
49:00
A lot more music to make.
49:03
Um, honestly, I felt like I was just going non-stop for for the last few years and working like how I told you on multiple projects at the same time.
49:13
So, I'm kind of relaxing on that right now and just letting myself live for a second because I feel like the best music I make is when I come back from those breaks. Yeah. Mhm.
49:24
It's kind of like um you know that Dr. Seuss book, The Lorax.
49:27
It's like I don't ever want to feel that I'm I feel that my talent is God-given and I feel that my purpose is God-given.
49:37
And I don't ever want to feel that I'm exploiting myself and over pushing myself.
49:43
And that's how it feels like sometimes when I'm just like trying to just keep going, keep going, keep going, and I don't give myself those breaks.
49:48
I feel like I'm exploiting my talent.
49:51
So, you know what, Kelly?
49:56
You know, you haven't changed at all.
49:58
and you've changed an enormous amount. Yeah.
49:59
I mean, even just in the times that we've spoken and I remember all our conversations really, really vividly.
50:06
Um, I love to just always dive into your music cuz I always get a better sense of who you know yourself to be.
50:10
And I think that's really inspiring to artists.
50:14
I think the fact that you have a good grasp on the word know and that you understand what matters to you the most as life changes around you.
50:23
As children are born, it's parents pass away.
50:25
It's a process because I feel like a lot of it also comes from when I first started. I didn't used to say no. Yeah.
50:32
And I had to realize that that wasn't what was the best for me.
50:36
So, everyone will get to there in their own time.
50:39
And some people might, you know, some people might want to do everything and whatever works for them.
50:44
Whatever works for them at the end of the day.
50:45
Well, here's to life and the fact that we're here and uh and grateful for that fact and that we have this beautiful album.
50:51
Sincerely, Calli, you've done it. More than done it.
50:54
So grateful for our time as always. Thank you so much. Thank you my friend. Appreciate you. [Applause]