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Why not me and why can't I be intelligent?
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Why do I feel so unworthy?
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I would say that that is still something I still struggle with.
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You know, when you don't see yourself in positions of power, even in entertainment, the way that, you know, you see women and you see people of color portrayed, that's how you're going to see yourself in a way.
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In a lot of ways, that's how and that's also, more importantly, how other people will see you.
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And so, they're going to treat you accordingly.
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And you just kind of have to break through.
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Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world, thanks to each and every single one of you who come back every week to listen, learn, and grow.
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I'm so proud of the amazing community that we've developed over the last 2 years, and I appreciate all your reviews, all your comments on Instagram, and everything that you share with your friends and family.
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Now, today's guest is someone who was actually on my original list that I wanted to interview when I first launched the podcast 2 years ago.
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I've been a big fan of hers throughout her whole career and all the different transitions that she's been through.
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I'm speaking about none other than Jessica Alba.
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Jessica, thank you so much for joining the podcast today and for doing this with me.
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I'm genuinely so happy to be with you. Thank you for having me.
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It's an honor to be here.
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Well, yeah, I know it's been a tough 12 months and I I wanted to start by just saying, you know, I I hope that you're well.
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I hope your family's well.
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I know that your family struggled with COVID quite a lot at this time and, you know, I'm sending my best wishes and my love and just wanted to make sure everyone's okay and would you be kind enough to share with us how you and your family have been able to cope through this very difficult time and having so many people being affected?
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I basically got it from being in a small juice shop.
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And uh there was one other person in there that was sick obviously and and so that's how I got it and I was one of those fortunate cases where it wasn't you know severe symptoms but and and you know truly isolating and being careful and wearing a mask really does keep other people safe and even in my own home that's that was the case you have to wear a mask around especially elderly people and you and you just have to be safe and
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you just have to get vaccinated so it's not worth it I can say like just based off of the what happened to my family it's just not worth it and and and if if you can get vaccinated I highly recommend it just to in any way keep yourself from getting as sick as people did in my family Yeah well we're sending our prayers and love to you Jessica and everyone in your family and and everyone in Thank you
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who's listening and watching who also lost someone during this time and you know I've shared some of my stories on the podcast of people that I lost as well so thank you for sharing that really important message Jessica as well from from your experience you know you've played so many roles in your life you know you're an actor you're an entrepreneur you're a mother you're a a family person like you you play so many
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roles what I'm interested in is which one of these roles has created the greatest growth and development in your life which role has had the biggest impact on you as an individual Jessica I would say all of it right base every stage of my life I feel like I've always had I think you you have to have the mindset or or the mental for you know wanting to evolve and wanting to get better and I think I was just born with that, right? And I also was
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And I also was pretty early on I had a consciousness about purpose and and this this feeling that you know, we're all here for a reason.
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Life is precious and at any moment, right?
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It can go or you're here.
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And so what are you going to do with the life that that you're given the opportunity to live.
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So as far back as I had any sort of real understanding of of myself and a consciousness, I felt like I had a I had a purpose.
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I didn't know what it was.
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I came from very simple humble family and you know, I what I've done in my life and what I've achieved was in no way shape or form given to me handed to me.
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I mean, I think if anything there was nothing but blocks and challenges and walls and reasons why I shouldn't dream or even had the audacity to think that I could become anything.
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Every stage of every piece of my life I I feel like I'm always looking to be better and do better.
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So when I actually got the opportunity to be an actress at the age of 12 and I started working on a regular basis.
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I would you know, but I prayed a lot you know, whether it's God or spirit or whatever it is that people pray to.
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I felt like if I could just channel like I want to do good.
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I know I'm here to do good.
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I'm not sure what that end goal is, but I promise that if I get any breakthrough, I will do good with with my success and I always attributed success with with being able to do good.
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And and then when I became a mom, um you know, that really my sense of self and I would say my insecurities as a person um over silly things um really sort of kept me I think from fully realizing my potential before I became a mom.
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But when I became a mom, those insecurities sort of went away.
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And and I think it unlocked a piece and then having a successful business also um unlocked another piece.
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For me, that is such a beautiful foundation to start anything from because it's so open.
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I think often we start thinking that a purpose is something specific and it's dialed in and it's focused and there's a clear goal.
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And often that can actually take us away from that innocence and that joy and that impact.
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Where do you think that came from for you? Was it your parenting?
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Was it something you experienced as a child?
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Where did that intention to do something good come from and that desire to have a positive impact come from?
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You know, I think because it was such a struggle and so hard for my parents.
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They were young when they had me and every day was a very it was a very kind of tumultuous environment just because they were in survival mode every day struggling to get by and they also didn't have necessarily the maturity or the tools to have context.
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So if it's like they were they were just kind of like grabbing at anything, right?
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And and they were constantly sort of like getting in their own way or you know, it was just a lot um and their relationship is very much like they love to fight and make up, fight and make up, fight and make up and that's their dynamic, right?
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Um and you know, it it it uh confusing for me as a kid because I didn't know that that was their their dynamic, you know?
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And I also didn't know that like I think I just wanted uh peace and I wanted security.
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And I wanted a sense of um financial security to me meant that uh you could then have peace and not be so stressed out.
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Um and so I think that to me was like how are born into families where it's not like this and and others are.
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And then given just, you know, I can't do anything about the circumstance I was born into, how can I sort of like change that narrative or create the life that I that I felt um you know, I wanted to live.
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Um and I think in the process of wanting a different way to to operate, right?
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Um I also knew that like my parents in a lot of ways were just sort of like products of certain systems.
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When you have to support a family how can you sort of like get ahead?
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Um and they were learning as they were going.
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You know, it's sort of like flying the plane and fixing it at the same time.
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Um and so, you know, they they did the best they could.
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And you know, I have a lot of It wasn't until I became a parent I think that I had I really understood how difficult it was for them.
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Um just being so young and not necessarily having the tools and not having you know, their a setup, right? To thrive. Yeah, no.
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I I I couldn't agree with you more.
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We did a podcast last year and it was called the six reasons you need to develop the emotional skills your parents didn't have a chance to develop because the idea is they didn't have that opportunity, they didn't have the hindsight, they didn't have the experiences.
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Do you find that as being a parent that you're able now to show your children like this balanced view of peace and obviously anxiety and stress and pressure and all the incredible things that you're achieving because you're a high performer, you're extremely busy.
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Are you Are you kind of having that conversation with them so that they understand you a bit more?
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Tell us a bit about that.
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Yeah, there's there's definitely a like a wokeness or a self-awareness that happens when people it's like before it was only the select few that get to be global citizens.
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We're now because of you know access that people have to information, we all are global citizens.
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There is access to so much information about how to do things better and be better and be more effective, be happier, right?
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And so, you know like this podcast, right?
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There wasn't this podcast when my parents were, you know, young.
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There were We live now in a culture where so many so much of the stuff that just wasn't sort of serving humanity has been broken down and there's this generation that's sort of thinking through like I guess sort of like yes, we built these civilizations based off of like necessity, a lot of these things that are power and ego-driven, right?
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But now we're in a place where it's more about compassion, mindfulness, right?
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Openness and that's how we're going to thrive and and you know, continue to thrive as as a human race.
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Um and and so I think you know, for my kids I try to exemplify uh whatever that is and and at the same time, you know, they are very aware of my faults, right?
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They're very aware that I, you know, get stressed and I, you know, get irritable and I don't sleep enough and all of those things.
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Um but you know, we have a we have a dialogue about it and and you know, I try to create a space of compassion.
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Um obviously for for them, but also, you know, just for them to to sort of like know that I'm trying.
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I'm at least trying, you know. It's a wonderful thing.
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I think if children know that you're trying, like you said, kids are so self-aware.
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you said, kids are so self-aware. I don't have children yet uh with my wife, but but we plan on having them and it's I I can only look at it from seeing my friends or having been a child myself and always wondering like, you know, kids are so aware, but if you make them
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a part of the dialogue and they they feel like you're honest with them and everything that you just mentioned, I think that creates such a it creates a healthier, honest space and an open space rather than an unhealthy environment where there seems to be too much hierarchy or too much control or too much limitation. You said creating
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You said creating an environment of compassion.
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I think you know, for children to grow up in an environment where they can be compassionate on themselves, too.
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I I think that is such a, you know, that's such a brilliant brilliant energy to grow up around.
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I I wonder, Jessica, when you were going through transitions because when I look at your work and your career and your journey and your purpose, there've been so many transitions along the way.
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Uh which transition made you feel the most insecure, a sense of imposter syndrome?
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I feel these are things that people people struggle with that so much today.
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People are you know, everyone's trying to I think everyone's been trying to switch their career.
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They're trying to become something that ain't trained to be there.
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And and I feel like you'd have some really good words of advice. of my life.
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Um I felt like I had imposter syndrome always in everything at every stage from like you know, going to school with kids who I you know, when I got out of the we got out of out of the military when I was nine, we moved into my grandparents house and it was like a predominantly white you know, middle class suburb and there just weren't people that looked like us.
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You know, we were living in my grandparents house that was like a very different circumstance than most people.
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Most people had like, you know, domestic help and they had like all the things and their parents were had, you know, these established careers and were a little bit older and um and they were, you know, mostly white.
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And so coming from like with us, you know, I'm we're living my grandparents would stay with us half the week and you know, my parents are in a way like children and when they're around the parents, right?
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And then we're the children as well.
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So there was like this very different.
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So I felt like an imposter syndrome there for sure.
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And then when I started acting, I was like, you know, I guess I always felt like maybe I did I I guess I felt like I didn't belong and Hollywood didn't make space for people that look like me or were me, you know, they'd called me exotic, right?
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It was like even the word Mexican-American or like, you know, Latina.
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Like that was like such a specific thing to be that and it was like not me.
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And I was like, wait a minute, but there's a lot of people that are like me that are here, you know, um, in this country, but it's just Hollywood didn't recognize it.
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And so, I didn't even have a place in Hollywood and I remember, um, twice, uh, um, presenting at the, uh, at the Oscars and I just felt so uncomfortable backstage.
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I was like, I just want to get up.
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I just want to do the thing and I just want to leave.
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And I was like, and I was with my husband who was my boyfriend at the time and I was like, oh my god, and and there were a few actors that could tell how sort of nervous I was and they were so sweet.
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And then I jumped into being an entrepreneur and again, I'm in rooms where I'm the only woman.
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I've never done this before.
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Everyone has like, you know, fancy degrees, um, from business schools and Ivy Leagues and, uh, I've, you know, never had a desk job. Didn't do any of that. I stopped.
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I got my GED and I, you know, um, started working so young.
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And so, I'm sitting here, um, again, trying to find my way and about 3 years into Honest, I learned the operations of the business completely and in all the meetings where my, you know, business partners were like, no, no, no, you do the, the that thing and we're going to do this thing.
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And I, uh, I basically said, no, I'm going to, I'm going to figure this out. I'm going to learn.
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And I learned, um, and then I challenged them with stuff that didn't make sense.
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And then I was like, you know what?
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I'm maybe, maybe I do belong and maybe I am smart and maybe I do deserve to be here.
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Um, and maybe people are just judging me based off of like their own insecurities, you know?
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But it took me quite a bit to sort of like get to that place.
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And at that point I I was like 30, so you're 33, I think I was like 34 when it all kind of like started to come together and I had two kids by then and I two careers, you know, and and it took me a hot minute, you know. Yeah, that's amazing.
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What I I think that's a great lesson for all of us in patience around you know, we all going to feel that imposter syndrome.
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We all going to feel that insecurity and what I'm what I'm hearing from you is it's not really like oh, this is what I did and this broke it through and this is what I did.
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It was more just you had to be patient with yourself and you had to allow it to naturally develop when you found your home in Honest and your kind of like sacred space in creating Honest that feels like such a strong foundation to to who you are today and such the bigger part of your story and a big part of your story.
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Yeah, it wasn't like an overnight.
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It was sort of like along the way and then when I started like making space for like why not me and why can't I be intelligent and why do I why do I feel so unworthy, you know, or I don't deserve this um and you know, I think over the years I'm still I mean I I would say that that is still something I still struggle with.
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You know, when you don't see yourself in positions of power and um even in entertainment the way that you know, you see women and you see people of color portrayed, that's how you're going to see yourself in a way in a lot of ways.
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That's how and that's also more importantly how other people will see you and so they're going to treat you accordingly.
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And you just kind of have to break through.
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Yeah, and and I guess that's what you were saying that confidence is just built on not thinking about what everyone else is saying or thinking or believing.
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That's that's literally the only thing that breaks you through. Yeah.
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Cuz they're just products of their own stuff. Yeah. Right?
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Yeah, everyone's living in their own echo chambers and their own ceilings and their own Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.
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I obviously you called your company The Honest Company.
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I was interested to ask you something I I hope you've never been asked before, but the around the idea of you know, what's the most difficult thing you've had to be honest with someone about?
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You know, what when it when has it been most difficult to be honest with someone because it's such a beautiful value and beautiful quality, but at the same time it can be a really hard quality to practice.
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And I don't just mean in your company.
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I mean just generally, like tell us how you handle that when you have to really be honest with someone, but it's it's a challenge.
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I've learned, I think over the years, how to um probably starting with myself.
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Um it's like that inner dialogue of how you talk about yourself, um and how you sort of like treat yourself, um and give space for yourself.
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And when I started speaking honestly to myself and being real with myself in a kind way, it it helped um then me do that with everyone around me, right?
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Um but when I'm my inner dialogue is so like boom boom boom, like harsh, then that kind of that's the way the honesty comes out, right?
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With the way that I communicate and interact with other folks.
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Um it's it's a beautiful value to be honest, but I think it can be, like you said, tough to take when it's delivered um through the lens of harshness.
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Um what what has been hard What has been Who's been or what's been the most difficult thing about honesty? I mean, I don't know.
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I I actually really love honesty, and for me it's sort of the starting point to being able to then move forward.
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If you're not If you don't have that clarity of honesty of of any situation or circumstance, then you're just living in a delusion.
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Um you know, then it's hard to like grasp.
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You're sort of on shaky ground.
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Feels like a solid foundation to then move from. Yeah, absolutely.
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No, I can't agree with you more.
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I love the idea of the more honest we are with ourselves, the easier it is to be honest with others.
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And I think honesty is something that we often say we want, but then when we receive it, we're like, "No, no, no, don't tell me that."
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You know, it's We We kind of have this Like you said, the double-edged sword is a perfect way of describing it as a value and quality because often people will say, "I wish people were more honest with me.
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I wish people would tell me the truth."
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But then when they hear the truth or someone's honest with them, it's quite hard to to take it in even if it's Yeah.
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Yeah, so you're saying It's interesting like you I I I've heard you talk about when you were in the corporate world, you got a coach, and you probably had to see yourself in a very honest way, in a way that you probably never saw yourself before, and that is super humbling cuz I've done the same.
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You know, the professional cuz it's sort of like a therapist, but it's mixed with we're going to Therapy sometimes feels like it's an endless sort of winding road and da da da.
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This is like therapy with a goal.
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Coaching in the corporate world is definitely more forward-facing. It's more building.
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It's more development, and it's taking you somewhere, and I've I've always been grateful to surround myself with coaches and experts and mentors in specific areas so that they can be honest with me with the area that they are knowledgeable in or have wisdom and experience in.
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Have you found good mentors in your life? How did you find them?
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Or do you find that you've had to kind of learn along the way?
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What's been your journey with that with coaching, mentors, and outside help and support?
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It's weird like when I put the energy out there that I'm open to learn and I have like an awareness of like something that needs to be worked on.
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It's like the universe brings them in.
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They bring in the people or the circumstances or the relationships or the conversations, right?
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And it's not just one thing.
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It's sort of multiple things, right?
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It could be like a pattern that um my daughter and I are having.
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Uh and then it's also like I have a conversation with a friend who's, you know, going through an illness and it hits it there again.
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And then um I go to the doctor and my doctor brings up the same thing, you know, and you're just like, "Okay, the dots are connecting.
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The The spirit guides are coming in and helping me here."
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Um you know, whatever that is, God, a spirit, um and so you I think, you know, if you're open to being better and evolving, the universe will align to bring you all of those teachers, right?
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And I think there's also like you you talk about meditation, but there's also whatever that meditation is for someone just to like give yourself the space to sort of like sit and um and try to focus on that um on sort of like the the stillness which is very hard for I think type A people. Yeah. Yeah. To like be still.
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Well, you sound like a I mean, from what you're sharing, you sound completely like a spiritual type of person. In a good way. In a in a good way.
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And you know, I can hear that, you know, while you've been speaking, the language you use just so naturally flows between spirit and strategy and effort and energy.
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Like, you know, it's like you're you're in between both of those.
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Like, you've used words and language from both a spiritual and a strategic sense. sense.
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And I wonder where that, you know, being that little girl at 12 years old who was who was praying and didn't know even what to and saying, "Oh, I hope I can do good in the world."
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Like, now that you've seen the universe, God, whatever you want to call it, reciprocate with you, and you felt that, how much more strength does that give you in that process?
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I want to hear a bit about maybe that spiritual side that you shared earlier on, when you've seen that being returned in you trying to do good. How does that feel?
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It's sort of like reassures me, that like the journey is real and those sort of like, trusting my gut.
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Um and having it's sort of like, putting in the work.
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Um then when the opportunities arise, you can then be there and be ready for it, but you have to put in the work and prepare.
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Um and so, I think I was so focused on putting in the work, and I never knew I was like, "Are the opportunities ever going to arise?" You know, who knows?
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Um but it's true that when you put in the work and you're trying, you will get those those um opportunities um to progress.
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And and um and and doors will open.
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Um if you're being honest with yourself, right? Um and being authentic.
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And so, for me, I think I before it was sort of like, I think this is it.
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I think this is how this works.
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Where now I'm like, I know this is how this works.
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So, then it it gives me sort of peace of mind that also it doesn't have to be such a grind and such a struggle.
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Um, and my world used to be very black and white and I live much more in the gray area now. Mhm. Mhm.
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Um, and um, and where I was like all or nothing, um, I'm trying to be a bit more soft in my approach.
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Um, and more of a warm hug than a a strong punch.
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Which is what I used to be.
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Do you And do you think that's natural in like the journey of like building something to then having built something successful, of course?
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Do you think that's natural?
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Do you think that that transition of that hard punch to that warm hug, as you said it, feels like a natural transition?
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And it kind of has to go in that order, or do you feel not everyone has to do it that way?
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Is that I don't think people have to do it that way.
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That was just my way, right?
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It's your life circumstance, right?
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And and your fight or flight mode and your survival uh, sort of instincts that is really sort of like how you cope or or deal with things.
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I appreciate what got me here, but I know it's not going to take me to that next stage.
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Um, and I don't think everyone's journey is the same.
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But I do think that anyone who seeks to be successful in life has to have relentless perseverance.
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As someone who's so energetically focused, as someone who's so present with yourself and what you're creating and the energy you want to put out, what do you think are some of the things that you want the people around you to gain from you, learn from you, whether it's your children, whether the people that work with you on a day-to-day basis.
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What are the some of the some of the exchanges and values that you're hoping that you can give out to people? I don't know.
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I I feel like I've never maybe I'm not there yet.
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It's I actually listening to you and and you I mean let's put it this way.
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I feel uncomfortable even saying that I have fans.
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Um and I'm in entertainment and that's like a normal, you know, and I I don't know it just makes me feel like wait, what?
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Being forward or progressive or thinking ahead of like what is the impact that I want to have on people that are around me on on the daily?
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Uh is is maybe like my next my next thing to think about. Yeah.
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Or process cuz I just I feel like I don't know I've been so focused on all of the other things.
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I think the thing that I do intuitively is I see people's potential and I see who they could be.
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Um and not and and and I think I'm learning how to deliver that when people are ready cuz people aren't always ready for it, right?
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People aren't always like ready to to or or willing or wanting even to reach their full potential or to be their their best self and and but I see sort of like the the shining bright light of of someone's potential and it's so clear to me when I see people that that's what I see in them.
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I see this other side of themselves and and I interface with them in that way.
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Um but that isn't always like what they're actually ready for.
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Um so but I um I think I need I'm learning how to be a little bit more self-aware to only talk to people about that when when they're when they want it instead of just like here's what you should do with you know um cuz it can be a little bossy as well.
31:20
That's a wonderful and honest answer and and I I didn't want anything else.
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I honestly just wanted to know how you felt about that and so you know hearing that that's what you want to work on next and that's what you're trying to grow now and develop now.
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I mean you know I think that's so wonderful for our audience to hear because I think we're all going step by step.
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We all have things to work on and if that's the next thing that you're focusing on that's that's brilliant and I don't think it's I don't think we're always fully conscious.
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I think there is this expectation and that's what I'm loving so much about this conversation is that there's often an external expectation that someone has everything figured out and everything's perfect and everything's going on and we obviously know that's not true but but often that's the perception and and to just hear that hey I'm trying to figure this out and I'm learning about this and and this is what I'm listening to.
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I think that is just such a healthy thing for people to hear. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
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I mean I think people will see your life through their lens and through their experience without having the context of what you go through and your consciousness, right?
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As you operate in the world.
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Um you know I look at like Jeff Bezos and I'm like that guy's got it figured out, you know?
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Like he seems really happy. He's going to space.
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Or Richard Branson, you know?
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And I'm like they're they're so accomplished.
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They've like multiple times have gotten hit after hit after hit of like goodness and business and they also are like, you know, doing good with their platform, you know?
32:56
Like it's like they I don't know.
33:00
I And so for me, I guess I can see how through my experience I I project onto others and so I could see how that could happen.
33:09
Yeah, I I love hearing that, you know, at every stage we're all projecting onto someone else.
33:16
And and I'm sure I don't know Jeff Bezos, but I'm guessing that you can do it in business and then now you're looking at another industry and you're looking at an athlete or you're looking at an actor or a musician or But he's also just like a very like he feels like a very joyful person, just like a happy guy, you know?
33:35
And that's like to me, I'm like I love seeing happy people. I'm like, yes.
33:39
I will let you know once we have him on the podcast, definitely.
33:41
I'll I'll I'll let you know.
33:44
But uh tell me tell me about Have you ever struggled with or have you ever worked through perfectionism?
33:48
I feel like being a perfectionist is something that happens in art, it happens in business, it happens as a CEO, as an entrepreneur.
33:57
Tell us a bit about that because I think my audience and community often ask me this and I'd love to hear your opinion on this.
34:02
It's yeah, like I'm struggling with, you know, being a perfectionist and getting things perfect and getting things right.
34:08
Tell us about your journey with perfectionism.
34:11
I am 100% a detail-oriented perfectionist.
34:14
Um but I would say that often times that's used as an excuse to not actually do anything because you're constantly tweaking something before you um just do it. Um and commit.
34:32
And my uh my partner at Honest, my CEO, he dropped this really amazing nugget like early on, like a month into uh us working together when he came on to be um the CEO of Honest.
34:49
And he was like um it's the 80/20 rule.
34:53
Like, it should be 80% there and, you know 20% whatever. It's not right.
34:59
20% whatever. It's not right. It's not totally buttoned up, but you're going to learn so much once you put it out there, and you're going to have to sort of be malleable enough to sort of like tweak and change as you go um from
35:14
there, but you just have to like put it out there and and try it um before you even really know, cuz you could be perfecting and and, you know all these details matter so much, but then you put it out there and you were putting all of your energy into the wrong thing, right? No one cares
35:30
No one cares at the end of the day about all those things that you cared so much about.
35:34
Um and so um I think I think you should be a a detail-oriented person, and you should have a point of view, and you should have like conviction about your point of view, cuz, you know, we're not robots, right? That's what matters.
35:51
Um but at the end of the day, it can't hinder you from um putting yourself out there or trying something or innovating, you know? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
36:00
I think I think that's a great piece of advice, and hearing that early on, I'm sure made a big difference uh to your path and to your journey.
36:08
And, you know, just a couple of seconds ago you said you love you love happy people.
36:14
Uh and I was wondering what you think uh some habits that you've seen in the happy people that you've known, the people that you've met around you in your own life.
36:21
What are some of the happy habits that you think happy people have?
36:25
Habits that you have You seem happy, uh from from my perspective and in this conversation you've laughed a ton and smiled a ton and you know, you're not taking everything too seriously and allow yourself.
36:34
So, tell me a bit about what are the uh happiness habits that you think that you've practiced and ones that you've seen even in the people around you that you you admire and aspire for. Yeah, it's interesting.
36:46
Like to me happiness is more like an like it looks like a glow, like an energy.
36:53
It's more of like an energy uh for me association, like children are very, you know, they're like these bubbles of light, you know, they just sort of like you can see these little like light auras, you know, you can see their aura just these like golden bright white lights of of you can see that happiness, right?
37:21
And you can feel when someone is just like cool with themselves and just happy and they emit this positive energy. We're all energy, right? That's science, right?
37:33
We're there's we're all negative and and and and positive energy, but if you are putting more positive, that's what's going to emit from you, your sort of energy field, right?
37:47
Um and uh you know, there's like it was interesting.
37:50
My my niece um when she was 10 or 11, she was did something for the science fair and she's like a devastatingly beautiful girl and like wickedly talent talented, but she's very shy.
38:04
Um and she did the science experiment that she got into like some science fair and she basically took two plants and one plant she gave loving words to and the other plant she said hateful words to.
38:16
And in like a few days, the same plant treated the same way with the same water, same light, everything, the one with a negative um energy, or you know, the negative words, it it died.
38:28
Like, it literally was like it the soil dried up, it died, it was done.
38:33
And the other one was like growing, like flourishing.
38:35
And um it it's just so true that you emit this uh such positivity and love, right?
38:44
So, happiness to me looks like love and light.
38:50
Um and I I don't know sometimes people are just quiet, and you can see it. Yeah.
38:58
Yeah, I think you're right. I think you're right.
38:59
And I I love that I love that she chose to do that experiment.
39:03
That that sounds That's amazing.
39:06
What a wonderful experiment to do, and uh Yeah, for like a little girl, too, you know?
39:10
Yeah, it's such a such a special experiment, and to kind of get that proof so early on in life that energy's real, and what we say to ourselves is real, and what we say to others is real.
39:22
You You said earlier, and and I love this answer that you gave when I asked you about, you know, what energy do you want to give out to people, and you you actually flipped on its head, and it was a great answer, is that you were like, "Well, actually, I just notice potential in people."
39:37
And and I was wondering, when you see someone who you see potential in, but they don't see potential in themselves, how do you respond to that?
39:46
I'm sure you meet people like that all the time, where you see that.
39:50
I used to be relentless about pushing people towards it, and they then built up a sort of defense with me, because it was like they weren't ready for it.
39:59
And so, I've learned over the years to maybe keep it to just keep it to myself, and kind of like nudge people in more like ask questions, and let them come to it themselves, cuz like the more they feel like it was their idea, and you just sort of like serve up the prompts for them to sort of think about it and reflect on it.
40:22
Um, and they're either going to bite and be into it or they're not.
40:24
And that's their journey.
40:26
And like, even though you know they're not happy, even though you know they're stuck, even though you know like it could be so much better, but if that's their life choice, you kind of have to also respect the journey, you know? Yeah, definitely.
40:38
You You've said a few times another another pattern that I'm hearing is you know, and and I really appreciate it is your approach to like just not forcing people to change or not met judging someone or not making someone feel like you're preaching to them or teaching them or coaching them.
40:54
Like, I can see that from your approach, that's not how you think about it, and you really want people to come to things at their own time and in their own pace and even even in their own the way that it's their idea, as you just said.
41:07
Is that something you think you've experienced as well, and that's why you believe in it so much, or is it something that or or is that something that you saw because maybe you were quite preached to and taught and judged and coached, and you realized that that people didn't respond to that so much?
41:23
I think it was more of like me learning how people Like, I was like, who are the people who I've seen potential in, and they've like sort of they break through, and they actually like move in that direction, and then I see potential in others, and they're like, "No."
41:45
Um, and and so I guess it's just being mindful of maybe my kids. Maybe it's my kids.
41:53
I think my kids have taught me a lot about that.
41:55
The more I tell them something, the more they resist, and they look at it as parenting, and I'm just bossing them around, and my Honor even told me last night. It was so so annoying.
42:08
And over like something so stupid.
42:10
Anyway, um you know, she's she wants to redo her room and I'm like, cool.
42:15
So, I'm like Pinterest board, like show me your inspo.
42:20
And she was like, and my friend, she just redid her room and she has like all these plants and it's very bohemian and I love it so much and da da da.
42:29
And I was like, did her mom help her with it? And she was like, yeah. And I'm like, cool.
42:33
How does that make you feel?
42:36
And she was like, it doesn't make me feel like anything. I think it's great. Her mom's really nice. And I was like, cool.
42:40
And she was like, Mom, I just want this to be my project and I don't want you to, you know, tell me what to do or I don't want your advice on, you know, what you like.
42:50
She's like, I want to come to these thoughts on my own.
42:51
You know, and she's like so um she's so sweet, sure her little soul, but you know, she's the way she puts it to me just makes it so clear how people process, right? Yeah.
43:05
Um and so that's that's how I get a lot of my lessons is just the way that my oldest especially reacts um off of me on simple things and then you can kind of apply it to more complex things. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I I I love that example. I think it's amazing.
43:23
I I think that's partly why when I whenever I talk about children, I'm like, yeah, you've got to be ready to, you know, when whenever I think about having kids, I'm I'm always saying to myself, I've got to be ready to be humbled and taught and coached by them and and have to learn by them.
43:36
If I'm not ready for that, then it's not the right time yet.
43:42
I just don't know if you're ever ready or not ready. I don't know.
43:45
I just kind of feel like your kids choose you because they're they're they're going through their journey, right?
43:54
Um and your souls sort of like choose each other in a way at at at the right time.
44:00
Um I spoke to a uh this this woman, she's a uh seer uh and I see her once a year sort of like a a gift to myself.
44:09
And she talked about my son for gosh, seven years before he came.
44:16
Like she saw him and there was another one in France who also saw him and um, and they described him perfectly.
44:24
And they're like, it's not the right time.
44:27
Like he's going to come at this time and this is the the dynamic of your relationship with your husband and then your other two.
44:35
And that's when he's going to come in and they were right.
44:41
You know, spiritually we were all in a such a different place.
44:46
And our family dynamic was in such a different place when he came through.
44:50
Um, but they saw him like waiting.
44:50
And I was like, you know, meanwhile, I, you know, I was like, I am not having two more kids, you know.
44:57
And then I was like, I'm not having one more kid.
45:01
Um, uh, and so it's interesting how they sort of choose you.
45:05
And they're waiting for the right time. Absolutely.
45:07
Thank you so much for sharing that.
45:09
I I I absolutely love that message and it's it's wonderful to think that for people who are trying to be parents, who want to be parents, who are parents, to realize how much, you know, children chose to be there and and you somehow chose each other and your souls chose each other.
45:22
I think that's it's absolutely wonderful.
45:25
Jessica, I want to thank you for just being, uh, so incredible.
45:27
For anyone who's listening to this, you will not know that we had technical issues and and sound issues and all of this, but I just want to thank Jessica. Her energy did not wane.
45:39
She did not change her She's just been wonderful throughout this whole episode and just been giving so many thoughtful and reflective answers.
45:46
And I want to, you know, honor you for that, Jessica, cuz it's it's hard when we're doing this through a screen and all the rest of it, but you've, you know, you've just been amazing.
45:55
So thank you so much to you and thank you to your team who's been, uh, you know, behind the scenes.
45:59
But we end every episode with a final five.
46:04
These are the fast five questions.
46:06
So, each word Each question has to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum.
46:11
And so, Jessica Alba, these are your fast five. Are you ready? Mhm. Okay, awesome.
46:17
The first question is, what is the best advice you've ever received? Patience.
46:25
What is the worst advice you have ever received?
46:28
It can be more than one word. It can be a sentence.
46:31
The worst advice is that you can't do it. Mhm. Of course you can. Yeah. Love that.
46:36
Uh question number three, your current purpose in life, the way you see it right now, the way you see what you're doing right now and why you're doing it. To channel light.
46:50
Okay, question number four, what's the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning and the last thing you do just before you go to bed? Check my calendar. True. Good answer.
47:01
But, yeah, but It's a great answer.
47:06
Uh and And question number five, the last question I'm going to put you through the pain of answering is uh if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? Compassion.
47:18
Everyone has to be compassionate. I love that. Beautiful. Jessica Alba, everyone.
47:22
Thank you so much, Jessica, for sharing your uh wonderful abundant energy.
47:27
I'm so glad that this conversation went off in so many wonderfully spiritual directions, energy-based conversations.
47:37
Uh I'm really, really happy and thankful for your time.
47:38
I really do hope we get to connect in person one day without all of the uh all of the challenges of being digitally connected, but uh a big, big thank you to you.
47:47
If you've been listening or watching wherever you are in the world right now, please make sure that you share your biggest insights on Instagram.
47:54
Tag me and Jessica as well.
47:56
We'd love to see what resonated with you, what wisdom's going to stay with you, and what you're going to try and practice this week.
48:01
Thank you for tuning in again, and Jessica, a big thank you to you and your team again. Thank you. Thanks for having me.
48:08
If you want even more videos just like this one, make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here.
48:14
I'm also excited to let you know that you can now get my book Think Like a Monk from thinklikeamonkbook. com.
48:23
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