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Join Radhi and I for a special on purpose episode today with BMW.
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Radhi and I love taking road trips together and today we get to take you on a drive in the all electric BMW iX.
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First ever episode in a car together. I know, how fun.
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going on road trips and I thought today we'd just do a little spin. little chats. Yeah.
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Find a nice lookout point, enjoy the sunset. Mhm.
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You know, uh you know I'm a romantic, hopeless romantic.
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You've got questions next to you. Amazing.
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The team chose these questions. Let's dive in.
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What is something you would ask my opinion of?
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I would ask your opinion of what's good for my health.
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Like I'm like, "Okay, I want a dessert.
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What should I eat that's healthy?" Mhm.
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I would ask your feedback on, "I've been doing this workout.
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I'm not sure I'm feeling good from it or bad from it.
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Like, how should I change it up?" Uh-huh.
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I would ask for your opinion of, "I want to feel like this in the morning or this in the night or I've got a headache.
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What should I do that's natural and a remedy that's going to help straight away?
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My gut's not feeling so well.
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What's a change I can make that will make me feel better?"
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You know, I think I ask your opinion of of me sometimes as a person.
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Like I I find it really reassuring and it means the world to me when I know that you love me and you appreciate me and that you value me.
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I think that means a lot to me because I really value your opinion because I think that you are an amazing person and I think that you have a really good moral character and are a very honest, genuine person.
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And so when you think good things of me, I think that if I have a choice or a decision I'm making or if I'm sharing something or writing something or thinking about something, I always like getting your opinion because I feel that if I've checked it through with you, then it'll be authentic and deep. Aw, thanks.
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Those are like a good amount of stuff. There's more.
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There's so much more I'd ask your opinion of.
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I would ask you for advice on people.
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Like if I've got some sort of discrepancy with people or I'm feeling a certain way about someone, I know you'll give me a really honest opinion about both sides.
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Like you're someone who doesn't really take sides about things, which I really appreciate.
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You see it as the actual situation versus who's involved.
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I ask you about some of my fashion things, even though sometimes we don't see eye to eye. I'll get your opinion.
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Cuz I may not take it all the time, but I will still get the opinion. Got it.
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I would ask you about Every time I need any motivation or I'm feeling like I'm lacking in trying to get through my day or figure out what I should do next.
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You're so good at figuring out step by step of turning something that feels so big into manageable steps and achievable things. So I appreciate that.
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That's really great for me cuz I feel like I always make things really big in my mind, and you really help to break it down.
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You're like, "Actually, let's strip it all back, and this is actually what you need to do."
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I would ask your opinion about Oh, work stuff.
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Like it's just such a beast in terms of work and constantly reminding me to go back to a deeper intention, and I think that's what's so important.
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It's less about You're obviously so good at what you do, but on but even deeper than that, I feel like the motivation and the intention behind it is what you always remind me of.
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And so I definitely ask your opinion on whether something feels right or wrong cuz I think you're always quite aligned with intention.
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Those are just a few that come to mind. so much.
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I really appreciate that.
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What is something you wouldn't ask my opinion of?
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I think what I avoid now asking your opinion of, sometimes, is my fashion choices.
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Because I think I've been I've become quite adventurous. You have.
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And I quite enjoy like pushing the boundaries, trying new silhouettes and shapes.
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And to me, it's all about like I feel like I get to express myself.
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I feel like I get to I feel like creatively I also get to push my own limits.
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When I'm like, "Oh, that's what I thought worked and now I'm able to open my mind up to a new shape, a new color, a new space and I enjoy that not just in fashion but in all areas of life and I think I get scared sometimes cuz I I do also want you to think I look cool but obviously some of the stuff I try sometimes is pretty out there.
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Yeah, and I want to be honest but I still think you should do everything.
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Like for me it's more you should do whatever makes you feel happy.
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Which is why I still do that you want to do but then I'm not going to tell you I like something if I don't.
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Sorry, it's going to be which I appreciate so that the the no asking is probably the best route to go with.
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Because because I'm using so much of my confidence to pull it off that then if some if I ask your opinion and then you don't like it's like that's really hard cuz I already know cuz it's already had to push me out of my comfort zone.
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But I always say I don't like it but you should wear what you like.
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Like you should wear what you you feel comfortable in.
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You should wear what you makes you happy because if you don't feel comfortable or happy in what you're wearing then it doesn't matter who likes it. Who really likes it. No difference.
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So I think it should be a personal expression.
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I think it's so cool that you express yourself in that way and I think it's cool that you feel free to do that.
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I believe like you have to have separate people for different things. I completely agree.
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And I recommend everyone does this activity where you write down every need you have in your life, you match that to a person in your life and if you have a gap, often what ends up happening is you expect that of your partner or you expect that of your sibling or you expect of your parent rather than going well let me be proactive and take responsibility for finding the person that solves this gap.
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So let's say you're like, oh, I don't have someone to go roller skating with for some for example cuz I know you love roller skating.
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It's like, okay, well let me go and find that person because I'm horrific at roller skating and it's it's an acquired taste, right?
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And so it's a specific interest that other people may not be talented or skilled at just like I like It's a specific interest that other people may not be talented or skilled at.
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Just like I like playing football and you don't.
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And so I think finding that person is really important.
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You're using You know what I really like about this car?
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It does this You can use hand gestures to do things. what?
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But so you're moving your hands around cuz you're an expressive talker, but you're basically it does everything from like you can use So which is kind of cool because you don't have to press buttons.
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But it does it to change songs and stuff, see?
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But because you're so expressive, it's doing things without you even knowing. Right. So tone it down.
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Yeah, so yeah, what was your thing that you would come ask your opinion of.
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I know you're good with like solutions, so if I don't want a solution and I just want to vent, I'm going to probably won't come to you. That's so good.
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I probably I want you to feel comfortable with me. No, not like that.
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I was just half joking, but yeah, I know that sometimes if I don't want a solution, I just want to like Well, I know you can always tell me that, you know that. Yeah, I know that.
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always come to me and say, "Look, I don't want to vent." Totally.
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What else would I not ask your opinion on?
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I probably wouldn't ask your opinion about food. Definitely not.
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I like sometimes asking other people to pick for me, but then you don't enjoy doing that either, so. I don't.
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Um yeah, I think that's a good good good selection, really.
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What is there in your life do you think that you have a need that you haven't found the person yet?
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Like what what is it that you would think you need on a weekly, monthly basis in your life and you're like, "You know what?
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I don't have that friend yet."
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Or like I haven't built that relationship.
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I haven't proactively figured that out. to work out with.
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I have friends that I can call just to pass time with.
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I have friends to have meaningful conversations with.
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I have friends to do sports and activities with.
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Not necessarily as much here as I do in London, but still.
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Yeah, that's for me as well.
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Um I have my mom for a lot of stuff.
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She ticks a lot of boxes. You tick a lot of boxes.
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My friends I I don't know.
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I I feel like anything that's a complete life. That's good.
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I feel like my sister ticks a lot of boxes for me. No, but that's good.
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That's a good place to be.
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and nephew for some fun and silly converse.
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I've been looking for a competitive FIFA friend. Oh, yeah.
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You have a competitive FIFA friend.
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Like someone who really gets me to become better.
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Maybe you know what I miss having a like a friend that just comes in like sits and does nothing with me.
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I like having friends like that sometimes. We just exist together.
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Maybe we take naps together.
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Maybe just like watch something but you don't have to talk together. Right. Got it. Yeah.
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Like a lot is said but just like nothing is actually said. Got it.
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I like friends like that. Next question.
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Oh, and a friend who really likes watching reality TV show because I that's my like little secret indulgent pleasure thing where I just like switching off.
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And I haven't quite found a friend who likes sitting and binge-watching reality TV.
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If we had to switch roles for a day, what's the first thing you'd do as me? Meditate and work out.
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Those are the fact Those are the two non-negotiables in Radi's life.
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I will be late for everything. 10 years.
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But I will not be late for that.
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Never be late for is a workout and meditation. She's always there. Yeah. That's amazing. It's really impressive. It's impressive. not mentally. It's impressive though.
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Like I I think it takes a lot of dedication to have a non-negotiable. Yeah.
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And I think it's amazing that your non-negotiable habits are so important because they set you up for the rest of the day.
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And it's like if you compromise on those two things, could you imagine what life would be like?
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No, I think I'd really struggle going through the day without it.
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And I think what's really amazing is that you having those non-negotiables has inspired me to have similar non-negotiables, especially with working out, in a way that I don't think I would have had if someone forced me to, if someone preached to me to do it, if someone made me do it.
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Like when I see you dedicated every single day to your workout, whether it's a weekday, whether it's a weekend, whether it's two workouts a day, I look at that and go, "Okay, got it."
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Like that's a really great discipline.
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Yeah, it's nice having things that you really appreciate in your life that you don't feel like you need breaks from?
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I feel like they're few and far between cuz it doesn't ever seem like you're working.
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It's just like part of your being and it's the person that you are on screen, off screen, with friends, with family.
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Like I don't see a difference in that because that is just what you absolutely love doing.
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It's like your full nature to be that.
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And so those non-negotiables come because you just feel and see the deep impact that it has on you.
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And then you kind of can't like you just know that I just know I'm not going to have a great day.
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Even if it's not crazy workouts, even if it's just a walk or movement, it's just so important.
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And I always see movement as mind movement, body movement, both equally so important.
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And I think meditation is great mind movement.
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And walking or workouts is great body movement, but both of them help with your emotional well-being, your physical well-being, um your communication, just get things flowing.
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Yeah, there's an amazing Zen teacher that says what movement does for your body, mindfulness does for your mind or meditation does for your mind and I love that.
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What was the question now?
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If it's just roles for the what was the first thing you do as me?
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As you, I would I would go on a Facebook live. Facebook?
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Or like an Instagram live, whatever, and I would fully start acting out.
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Like just things you wouldn't say, things you wouldn't do.
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Yeah, it's more This is more like Freaky Friday. That's the point.
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Yeah, I would dress crazy and I would Oh, you know what I'd do?
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I'd get people to just realize how wacky and like fun you are cuz sometimes people don't see that. Got it. You know what?
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You'd go into work and I'd be like, "You know what today guys?
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We're not going to work today.
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We're just going to sit around, cook something, Right. have a little chat."
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I then I want to answer that question back for you cuz that's a fun one. Yeah. So beautiful here. Look at this. Unbelievable.
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I love these lookout points in LA. They're really special. They're really special.
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Just open up the mind and I love how you can just pull up and find a spot and Yeah. really take it all in.
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It's really so beautiful. It's so nice. Okay, go on.
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Ask the question for me then.
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Well, what would I do as you?
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So, I like your answer for me.
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So, if I woke up as you, Freaky Friday, what would I do?
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I think I'd go do I'd test out all the things I think you have so much talent.
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I think you have just so much potential.
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I think you're one of the most entertaining people in the world not singing.
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Everything about singing and Not dancing.
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Everything about from singing and Like sleeping.
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Yeah, you're good at sleeping. I'm Korean.
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Everything about from singing and dancing and I would literally just that's what I would do.
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I would just go and do everything that I think I know you have the hidden potential for. That's fun.
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Cuz you're just You're so talented. You're so gifted.
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I can't wait to see you host a TV show.
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I can't wait to see you write more books.
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I can't wait to see you I'll let you write a book for me. I would do that as you.
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But, I just see you like traveling across the world, studying cultures, teaching that culture, passing it on would be really fun.
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through TV, through film, through movies. You could act.
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You could do whatever you wanted.
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Like, you're so talented.
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So, I'd I'd try and do all of those things.
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On a hard day, what is the thing you will do to make each other start laughing immediately? That's a good question.
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I'll start doing my Indian accent or dancing or something. Dancing.
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You You I still remember that video. Do you remember? I don't know which one. Do the bacon. Do the bacon. Do the bacon. Yeah, I do remember. It was so good.
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Like, one day This is before Rothy ever made content and people were unaware.
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She randomly started doing this dance and I filmed it for fun.
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And I was like, "You have to post this because it is just pure joy."
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And you posted it and I remember everyone loving it, too.
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And it was just like, "Yeah, you you can literally burst out into dance or make a funny face."
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You can make me laugh very easily. Very easily.
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If I was trying to make you laugh, I'd put on an outfit I love. I I would laugh at you. try and help you cook. I wouldn't laugh at you. Yeah.
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I would What else would I do to make you laugh?
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I mean, you're really good at finding funny TikToks. You are.
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Wow, that's my luck skill. No, you do though.
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You find really good quality Right. funny TikToks.
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Oh, you know what you do sometimes?
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When you're like gassing yourself up, that makes me laugh a lot.
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To make you laugh, I do that. Yeah. You're good at banter. Next question.
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Do you have any fun memories when it comes to driving?
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Oh, moments spent with family, friends, driving off to university. I do.
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I have such fun memories in cars with my dad.
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I feel like when he was dropping me to university or when even now when he's dropping me to the airport, they're really special times where I feel like it gives space to just open up and we'll just share stories about his like youth where that I didn't know about.
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We'll just talk about random things and I'll just find so much out about him and he's usually quite a quiet person.
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person. And so it feels like the car journeys are when things are changing and even when we go back to where his family lives in Norwich, it's like a 2 and 1/2 hour 3 hour drive and I always think along the way we're like this is
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where this happened, this is where this happened or yeah, there's always little moments where he'll just suddenly start reminiscing in journeys and I think that cuz you're going on a journey, your mind kind of goes back to journeys in your life and yeah, definitely enjoy that. And then also with my grandma because I
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And then also with my grandma because I drive her and her friends around sometimes to like take them to different places.
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So imagine like four 90-year-old women in the car that are just laughing and hanging out and so I love doing Uber service for them. That's fun.
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And singing along Singing along with my nephew in the car, that is a good one. That's always fun.
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We've done so many fun road trips as well.
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I just I love being out and about on the road.
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Videos of you and Arjan singing in the car. They're so fun.
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I love a good karaoke moment in the car.
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Yeah, he's like singing his heart out.
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Singing his heart out Adele.
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I think for me, I actually love car time as a space for reflection.
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I don't know what it is about cars for me. You do that a lot. I I will play music. I I don't.
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I I drive in silence a lot of the time.
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I will listen to my own thoughts. I'll reprogram them.
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I'll take a moment to I find sometimes when I'm in the car I talk to God the most. Yeah.
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know what it is about that, but I find it a really easy way to talk out loud and just listen and pray and reflect.
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Like I do that a lot if I'm driving alone.
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I think my favorite memories of road trips also include all of our road trips, like our weekend trips.
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Whenever we're like doing a playlist, when we're you know, just hanging out having conversations like this.
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I always find that when we find like our Even when we do road trips with friends and stuff, I feel like we play good games. Yeah. Cracking jokes. It was so fun. fun. It was so fun.
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And then I think when I was young, I remember cuz my parents would drive from London to Europe.
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So, we wouldn't get a plane. We'd drive.
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We'd get the ferry from Dover to Calais and then drive through Europe.
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And I always found that to be so incredible because we'd go through you'd get to see like every country in a really intimate way.
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Like now when you fly, it's almost like you don't get to see the roads and the streets and everything.
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Where do you drive to when you miss home when you're in LA?
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When I really miss home, it's weird because what I really miss is this might sound really odd, but seeing Indian people and being around Indians and seeing like grandmas with saris on and I feel like in LA you don't we see people, but I would say I see a lot less brown people than I do when I'm in London Right. on a daily basis.
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So, as you know, especially during festivals or like Indian festivals, I want to go to Artesia. Cerritos. Cerritos.
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And eat Indian food, buy Indian clothes food, buy Indian clothes, be like in a place where there are just so many people that feel like my community. Yeah.
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And um there's something about that that makes me feel nostalgic.
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So sometimes I'll go to an Indian like at this like veggie Indian restaurant that I really like here. Yeah.
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If usually my missing home is like missing my mom's food because when I'm feeling sad or I feel like I need comfort, it's usually Food.
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mom my mom's specifically my mom's food that brings me that comfort.
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And if I can't get that, then I have to go see some like old Indian women in saris. So it feels Yeah. like around my grandma. Yeah. Yeah. I love that.
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So yeah, that's probably it.
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If I think about it, it's either that or I'll sit just by myself and eat ice cream and watch a Bollywood movie or something. Nice.
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I think for me I drive to places I can make new memories.
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So if I miss home, I'm always thinking, "Well, what's a new cool fun thing I can do to create and build a new memory?"
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I think it's very easy for me sometimes to think if I miss something that I have to recreate it or sometimes we think if you miss something, you have to remake it.
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For me, I just like to think, "Okay, well, what opportunity do I have or what possibility do I have Yeah.
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to just build something fresh?"
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So I think that's what I do.
18:25
What is the thing you were most scared of going into this past year that you ended up doing?
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Literally a month before my world tour, I was so close to pulling out because I was really worried about whether I'd be able to stay healthy and fit traveling to all those countries.
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And I was concerned about my well-being.
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I was thinking about work.
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I was thinking about all the things I had to put on hold.
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It was like I wasn't going to see you for months.
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I wasn't going to see most of my team for months.
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I wasn't going to be able to do so much of the work that I'm used to doing every single year.
18:59
We had to tape meditations in advance.
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We had to tape podcasts in advance. There was so much work.
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And like a month before, I was like, "Okay, I don't think I can go on tour."
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And the thing that kept me going was Nicole and Annie had worked so hard on putting the tour together and the team had worked so hard on putting the tour together and I was like, I can't let them down.
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Like if I cancel it, it's going to let down all these people who worked so hard putting it all together and I can't just pull out and I never told them that till afterwards.
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And I think I think they were relieved.
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But it was just one of those things of just like when you're doing something new, what I've learned is it's so natural to feel scared and it's so natural to feel fear and what I've realized is before I used to think you have to wait to get over the fear to do something or you have to wait till you don't feel scared so you can do something.
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So you spend all your energy going, "Okay, well how do I take care of my fear?
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How do I control my fear?
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How do I move past what I'm scared of?"
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And the truth is you have to be fearful and do it anyway.
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Like you're going to be scared anyway, so why not accept that you're scared, accept that you're fearful, create a plan, and then do it.
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Like when I went on my tour, I remember after finishing the US leg, I was exhausted.
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And then when I went international, we started in Australia.
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Again, there were some crazy highs and lows on tour when it came to like health and wellness, fitness.
20:23
We were literally in a city for a max 1 and 1/2 days.
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And so for me Yeah, that was intense.
20:30
For me though, I mean you came with me for a week and it was exhausting.
20:33
Why am I getting a massage in my car?
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Guys, I just found out that there is a massage feature in in this car and I am I just activated it.
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While I was answering my question.
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Yeah, for While I was opening my heart For some relaxation.
20:47
This is what Roddy is like.
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So this is how Roddy makes me laugh.
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I'll be having a really vulnerable, deep, open, heartfelt conversation and then you'll do something like this. Can you feel it? Yes, I can feel it. Ooh. That's really amazing.
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Who doesn't want a bit of a back massage when you're driving around? going on.
21:04
I've never seen that in a car.
21:06
All right, um no, that is true. yours?
21:08
Oh, yeah, that's what you would do.
21:09
You'd totally detract away from my deep meaningful point and be like, "Oh, yeah, that was really No, you are No, I'm so sorry, but tell me that feature's not worth being distracted for. It was worth it. Um, what was the thing?
21:19
Oh my god, this was the year that I literally did so many things that I would normally say no to or was scared of. I spoke on stage. Oh, yeah, how was that?
21:29
Explain that process for you because I think you put it up on Instagram and I remember everyone that week being like, "Oh my god, that's amazing."
21:34
It was such a big thing for you. Walk us through that.
21:36
It was such a big thing to me.
21:38
Um Why was it such a big thing for you?
21:40
So, you were invited to give a speech for I was invited to give a speech for an organization that had like, what was it, 3,000 people?
21:47
Right, in the audience, which is huge.
21:49
yeah, it was spoken to more than like, what, 300 people maybe?
21:51
I've never really spoken to people like that on stage.
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I've maybe done one panel or something back in the day, but I remember freezing and not even talking to And this was a keynote. This was not a panel.
22:01
a keynote where it was a full like, what, 30 minutes speaking to the crowd and then like 15 minutes of Q&A.
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But it was I was practicing for months.
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Like I was going over and over again, writing it, practicing.
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It made me realize how when you write something, it's so different to when you're speaking.
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Like things when you write and then when you say it can feel so cheesy. Yeah, yeah.
22:23
It was just such an such an weird experience cuz I was literally getting to the day of and I was like, "I'm I have to cancel."
22:29
Like No, the the night before, well, you know, it really helped practicing in front of a mirror, that was really great.
22:34
But it still didn't take away my fear and I have to say it wasn't something where I did it and I was like, "Yeah, I can't wait to do it again."
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It was like "Okay, I'm so glad I did it."
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And it's so nice to know that I can overcome a fear of being in front of so many people and worried about not sounding smart or not sounding like I know what I'm even talking about or getting words wrong or not see You always want to feel like an expert before you do something.
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I always have felt like an amateur in things that do, and so that's always stopped me from doing things where I've been too scared of being seen as someone who's not doing things really well or doesn't know it, and so then I'd hide away from it.
23:13
And so it was just interesting for me to do it, and even though I wouldn't say I was an expert at it at all, I still gave it a go and was okay with getting things wrong and maybe not being perfect at it.
23:24
And so even more than feeling successful, I just felt liberated. Mhm.
23:30
Of like getting over that fear. What do you think it is?
23:31
Cuz I feel like when we feel fear or we feel scared, we feel fearful and scared of so many different things, but really there's a root to where that comes from.
23:40
Mine, if I'm completely honest, roots from always feeling like I've never been smart enough because of grades or people in my family being smarter than me.
23:50
And by the way, I'm not like, "Oh, that's so sad."
23:53
I'm just saying that is where it roots from.
23:56
Because I've always had that, and so and I've told myself that for so long, and I've always turned to other people to fix things or make things better or to tell me whether what I'm doing is right or wrong that I never believed me start standing by myself doing something was going to be as good as other people doing it with me. That's incredible.
24:16
So it definitely roots from that, and then I've just realized that just get over it.
24:21
There are worse things that happen in life, and you don't have to be an expert to do things.
24:26
That's why I started trying to do things that I'm really not good at because sometimes I really enjoy things that I'm not good at, but I stop myself from doing them because I just think that I shouldn't because I'm not good at it.
24:38
And I think that we're just trained to feel that way when not everything has to be about being really good at things.
24:40
It can just be because you want to try or that you you want a new experience.
24:44
I mean, it is about being really good at things.
24:50
Yeah, for people who are good at things.
24:51
No, no, I think I really appreciate your resilience.
24:53
I remember when What was it that you tried when we were on vacation a couple of years ago? Was it wakeboarding? It's wakeboarding.
24:58
I think it might be, yeah.
25:00
Anyway, that was like watching you do that and I remember the next day you felt like you'd had whiplash.
25:04
But you just kept getting back up and trying it even though you'd stand up for like 3 seconds and fall over. I remember timing it. And it was just amazing.
25:12
You're so you're resilient to like keep trying something even when it's so difficult.
25:17
Like you do love that, too. I do love trying it.
25:19
But yeah, I really enjoyed trying all those things this year.
25:23
Um and recognizing that that you know, lots of people are like, "Oh, I tried this thing and you know, I tried it once and then I just got that" You know, people kept asking me.
25:34
They were like, "Once you start actually speaking in public, you're going to get this bug for it and you're going to want to do it."
25:38
And I was like, "I have not got that bug for it and it's not something that I'm craving to do again."
25:43
shows how different we are. I love it. Yeah, you do, of course.
25:45
I mean, just And And the thing is, you're so good at it, but it's taken so many tries and doing it from a group of five people to 50 people to 100 people to 1,000 people to, you know, however many people came to your show.
25:58
Like you really built that. Why are you laughing? Cuz that's so funny. Why is that funny?
26:05
Yeah, cuz like so many endless, countless people came to your show and you did that over and over again.
26:10
And I just think that it's something which you see your comfort on stage.
26:15
I do not feel my comfort on stage.
26:15
I feel my comfort in other areas, yeah. Which is nice to see.
26:21
Well, I thought you did amazing. Thank you. Incredible.
26:22
Um what is the biggest lesson you have learned this year?
26:24
The biggest lesson that I've learned this year is This is going to sound so lame because the only thing I can think of right now cuz I'm tired, but like how important sleep is.
26:33
Especially because I've stepped up in what I actually do in my day.
26:39
What I've realized is how important one, conserving your energy and being able to have alone time is, and also how important like relationships are in terms of what you gain from human connection and how energetic that can feel and also how draining that can feel and knowing the difference between both and who gives you both of those things.
26:58
Who are the people you spend time with that actually help feed your energy?
26:59
I think I've had to really learn that in the time that I'm expending with people because I feel so drained and then how important sleep is, not in a superficial way, but in the way that it affects your mood, your energy levels, your ability to wake up and even meditate in the morning, your ability to work during the day.
27:18
It just affects so much of your life.
27:20
What you want to eat, what you crave.
27:22
Like it just impacts everything.
27:24
And so I've really been trying to prioritize sleep lately of like at least sleeping earlier and that's that's that. That's good.
27:30
I really think the biggest thing I've learned this year, which I feel like the universe keeps reminding me of this, but it's a big one, is don't judge an emotion in others that you've never felt because the universe will make you experience it. gosh, yes.
27:45
So often we look at other people's lives and we go, "Why are they so stressed about that? That's so minor.
27:47
Like why are they so anxious about that?
27:49
There's nothing to do with that.
27:51
Like why are they so mad about that?
27:53
I wouldn't be mad about that."
27:54
And then all of a sudden the same thing happens to you and all of a sudden you're like broken.
28:01
And I've seen that happen so many times to friends.
28:02
I've seen that happen so many times to myself where you're judging someone else's pain thinking you could deal with that pain. Mhm.
28:10
And then you go, "When I'm actually going through that pain, I don't want to feel it anymore." Yeah.
28:15
And so whenever I find myself thinking, "Oh, I could handle that better or that's not a big deal or can't believe they're struggling with that."
28:25
I've started to realize just don't have that feeling because you have no idea how that person's navigating it, what their trigger is, what their trauma is, what their pain is.
28:33
And it's so easy to be like, "Oh, well I find that easy."
28:36
And when you actually go through it, it's another ball game.
28:38
And so I remember, you know, like it's it's kind of like when people are like, "Oh, you know, and not that I say this, but a lot of people will say like, "Oh, there's no such thing as depression.
28:47
There's no such thing as anxiety.
28:48
Like, it's just all in your head." Like, things like that.
28:52
It's not actually helpful.
28:52
And I think everyone goes through something like that in life that really breaks them down.
28:58
And when I go through that, like when I feel like I've judged something and then I'm going through it myself, I go, "Ah, got it.
29:04
This is making me more compassionate now for that. for other people's pain.
29:08
And I hope that I can keep this feeling when I'm feeling confident that even if I haven't experienced someone's pain, I can still be compassionate towards it because I recognize that I don't understand all types of pain just because I think I do mentally.
29:24
It's so interesting how we think because we understand something theoretically, it should be easy practically.
29:29
When we're not going through that challenge right now, we underplay it and undermine it.
29:34
And then as soon as we're going for our own challenge, we overhype it. Yeah.
29:40
The next question is, what is something you want to work on for next year? Oh, nice. Yeah.
29:43
I think my thing is I think that it's easy when, and I'm sure many people have felt this in relationships or even when friendships, where you see someone with a specific purpose and like they know what they're doing and you can almost either jump on the bandwagon of their purpose or intention and try and mimic it without actually feeling it or doing the work it requires to maintain it.
30:08
And I've been thinking about that a lot because I think seeing you have your purpose and have seen you do that for a long time, I think I've kept trying to create the same purpose for myself or jump onto your purpose and make it my own, but the problem was I didn't have the deep-rooted feeling that you have with what you are doing.
30:28
And so, that's why my energy and my desire for it would run out so fast and I'd have to keep motivating myself to do it.
30:35
Keep motivating myself, but it there wasn't an actual motivation because the motivation was coming from you.
30:40
I think for me next year it's about actually figuring out what my deep-rooted purpose and intention is behind what I'm doing and everything I'm doing to feel like it is mine versus one, what other people think my purpose is, and two, trying to jump onto someone else's because it seems so amazing because you're so connected to it, but it's not mine and therefore don't have that connection.
31:09
It's interesting how our mind does that even when we know purpose is individual. It's It's unique. It's not adopted.
31:16
Like we always talk about that famous line in the Bhagavad Gita which says that it's better to do your own purpose imperfectly than to try to do someone's perfectly. Yeah.
31:27
Because the point is doing your thing is way better than trying to do someone else's.
31:31
And also the other verse that I love about purpose is when you protect your purpose, your purpose protects you.
31:38
When we try to imitate or project someone's purpose onto ourself, it doesn't work because we actually have to protect the the diamond of our purpose that we're holding onto.
31:47
And we have to care for it as if it's a rare gem.
31:52
What's something you want to work on for next year?
31:54
It's been a few things I've been thinking about.
31:55
One is that I really believe that my best work for me at this point in my career comes when I'm when I have space.
32:06
And there was a time in my life where being productive and efficient was what helped me achieve.
32:12
And I feel like I'm at a place in my life where I feel like the more I'm reflecting, reading, being thoughtful, I feel like a better version of myself.
32:21
And so I think I've been reprioritizing from being productive to almost zooming out and gaining more perspective.
32:32
And that requires a lot of restructuring of my life.
32:34
I have I have of commitments.
32:35
I have lots of responsibilities.
32:37
There's so many things I have to think about in order to do that, but I'm realizing that I'm better with more time than less time.
32:44
It's not about more socialized.
32:46
Like I'm not trying to create more of a social life.
32:49
That's not really what will make me happy, but I'm trying to create more of space to be more curious and be more even more reflective and thoughtful than I believe I already give myself time to.
33:00
I find that I'm often putting myself in a lot of discomfort to operate at a high level, and I want to give myself some mental comfort.
33:10
And I believe that will really create some fascinating projects and vision for what I want to do in the world.
33:17
I think that there's points in your career where you just have to like put your head down and work really hard, and then you get to points in your career where you have to look up and take a step back.
33:25
And I think I'm at a point in my career where I want to do that because I want to really think about the impact I want to have in the world.
33:32
I want to really think about the work I want to do, the the pathways I think are going to really shift culture in the world, and I want to give myself time and space.
33:41
That's not going to come from productivity.
33:42
That's going to come from perspective.
33:45
What is something you valued this past year in our relationship that you did not value in the past?
33:53
Ooh, that's such a great question.
33:55
I'd say maybe for me is I think in the past because I wasn't You're always ready to give help, and I wasn't ready to necessarily receive it because I wasn't ready to do the work it took to do it.
34:04
And you're always someone who wants to help, and you always have the time and space to help, no matter what you have going on.
34:10
And I think in the past, I didn't value it because I almost wasn't ready to I didn't want to waste your time because I knew I wasn't ready to put in the work to actually take it on.
34:22
No, but you know what I mean?
34:24
Like it was more me not being in a place to do the stuff required because I'd get your advice, and then I wouldn't implement, and then it didn't, you know, it didn't make sense and it made me feel bad about it.
34:36
Whereas I feel like this year because I made a decision to really try and understand what my potential was and to push myself to to see and and explore that, I was able to take on a lot of your really great like advice and time and I value that advice a lot more now because I was ready I'm ready to actually receive it.
34:59
I think for me, there's a couple of things.
35:00
things. I think I learned to revalue every year just how much you do love me by your choice to you know, as we've always talked about, it's been so hard for you to move away from family, move to New York and then move to LA and then
35:13
and I know you go back often when it's nice, but you still base yourself here and I I think I learned to revalue that every year as a sign of how much you love me because I realize that that is the reason that makes you do it. Like you
35:25
Like you wouldn't do it if it wasn't for that. Mhm.
35:28
And I think that that is something I have to revalue.
35:30
I get a new found value for it every year because I realize it more and more.
35:37
And I think the other thing that I value that maybe I didn't value before was how much again, I think it's a revalue too of how much you're so flexible and adaptable.
35:49
Like if I said to you, I've got this amazing opportunity, I need to get on a plane tomorrow, you never make me feel guilty or bad about it.
35:59
And that is just I've thought about it a lot and I'm like that is really hard and yes, we're both like that with each other but I think it takes a lot to just be flexible and adaptable.
36:10
Life hasn't got less busy, it's got more busy.
36:12
So, I think that's a new found value again that I renew every year of like, wait a minute, you're more flexible and adaptable.
36:19
I went on a world tour this year.
36:21
Like I was gone for, you know You're really good at that.
36:23
I feel like you're all your state of mind and I'm not just saying this, you're very in gratitude.
36:28
You're a very in gratitude person on a daily basis with not just me, but literally every single person around you, and I think that that just pours into everything that you do.
36:41
Uh what is the change you have made this past year that impacted your daily life?
36:47
Putting in the work it takes to complete things cuz I'd have the I do the work it takes to start things, but I didn't do the work it takes to complete things till this year, and so I see how hard that is for people.
36:57
I have a newfound appreciation for people who actually get things done. My goodness. What a life to live.
37:05
I just want to say that basically because I've completed things this year, I do feel like I feel more confident in myself, and I think that it's impacted my daily life because I've started making little decisions by myself, and I've started trusting in my own voice, and I've started being more sure about the things that I actually think I
37:22
should do in a situation versus asking a thousand people or or trying to second-guess myself, and so with committing to completing things in my life, it has come with a boost of confidence in my own voice, and that has impacted my daily life in so many ways because yeah, it's just made me a bit more secure in who I am. Definitely not fully there, but it's
37:47
Definitely not fully there, but it's like I feel like the beginning of the journey of really understanding myself a little bit more, and it's all come from consistency and trying to commit to things for myself, and I actually really have appreciated that this year.
38:04
I think for me it's having an amazing team.
38:08
Your team is just literally just And it's not cuz they're going to hear it or are hearing it.
38:12
I feel like being surrounded by people you actually enjoy spending time with and as people, not just at work, and being surrounded by people that you trust and that trust you and that being surrounded by people that you feel There was a quote that I read the other day that said, "A great relationship is when both people feel lucky."
38:32
You so have that in your team.
38:35
feel like having that in your personal life, your professional life, in every area of your life, like that's what makes life special.
38:41
So, that has made a big change, like being surrounded by people who just have wonderful values and qualities.
38:49
I feel like you've attracted each other because, honestly, I don't know how your team is so as as special as they are.
38:55
Like, every single person has different personalities, but the same care, attention, desire, and it and and what's beautiful is there's like you feel no competition there, which is really difficult to create in a work environment.
39:08
Everybody feels so secure in their roles and how they see it as collaborative thing, like they all feel like part of a puzzle, and they all work so well together to do that. It's so beautiful.
39:20
I just I I I appreciate seeing you so happy finally because I think that you've worked so hard to get to this point to have people who feel the same way.
39:31
It's nice being surrounded by people who feel the same desire and excitement as you do every single day.
39:36
Yeah, it's been really special.
39:38
And on that note, I want to say a big thank you to all of you because I think it's been amazing just the amount of love and support that On Purpose has had in the last 12 months, the incredible guests we've had are because of all of you that watch, that like, that share, that recommend this podcast to your friends, the amazing conversations I've been having, the solo episodes that I've been recording.
39:58
Just thank you for all your love and support because I couldn't do any of it without you, and it's amazing to see the growth that we're having, and it's unbelievable, and so grateful to you all.
40:09
Genuinely, thank you so much.
40:09
And thank you, Radhi, for doing this with me. Of course.
40:12
Going on this little road trip.
40:14
like these conversations. They bring so much out.
40:15
You're such a good conversationalist. You are. If that's a word. It is a word. Oh, thanks. Love it. Love you guys.
40:23
If you love this episode, you'll love my interview with Kobe Bryant on how to be strategic and obsessive to find your purpose.
40:30
Our children have become less imaginative about how to problem solve, and parents and coaches have become more directive in trying to tell them how to behave versus teaching them how to behave.