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And so I remember at the age of nine, a teacher pointing to me, talking to another adult saying, "That's the boy with the broken brain."
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Parents have to be very careful with the words they use because your external words become a child's internal words.
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But your journey actually started off differently, right?
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You actually struggled at school. I did.
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When people see me on stages that we've shared together or on video, they'll see me do these mental feats, right?
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Memorize all the 100 people stand up and memorize their names or you know, 100 names or 100 numbers or 100 words forwards and backwards, but I always tell people I don't do this to impress you.
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I do this more to express to you what's possible because the truth is every single person who's listening today could do that and so much so much more.
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I mean, we discover more about, you know, the human brain, you know this, more in the past 10 years than the previous thousand years combined.
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And we're grossly, we found that we're grossly underestimating our own capabilities and our own superpowers as as you were.
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And I I really do I I love your work because I feel like in this age of information, we're drowning in data.
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We're drowning in information, but we're starving for real wisdom.
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And so that's why I really appreciate it.
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But yeah, as you know, I grew up with learning difficulties.
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Some people are surprised to to hear at the age of five I had a bad accident, head trauma, brain injury, and I had these learning challenges if you were.
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You know, I had bad focus.
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I had no memory to speak of.
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I didn't Teachers would have to repeat themselves four, five, six times and then I would I wouldn't get it.
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I would pretend to understand and I I don't know if anyone can relate to that.
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Um but I had this like imposter syndrome when I was a child.
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And um and I took me actually a few years to just learn how to read.
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I remember I I don't talk about this, but in school, in elementary school, all my friends, they they got invited to be part of this MASP program cuz I always played with all the the Dungeons and Dragons and comic book geeks.
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And the only difference with them and me is I didn't have the grades.
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They're really really smart, right?
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And um but they there was this group called MASP and MASP stands for More Able Student Program.
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And uh it was me and my friend Joey, we weren't invited in this program, so we created our own little group, our own clique, and we called it LASP, and we were the less able student program.
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And um and so I remember at the age of nine, a teacher pointing to me, talking to another adult, saying, "That's the boy with the broken brain."
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And that was my label, and and anyone who has a child, or anyone who's who was a child at one point in their life, uh parents have to be very careful with the words they use, because your external a child's internal words, and that became my internal talk.
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Every time I wasn't picked for the soccer team, every time I did badly on a quiz and a test, which was all the time, I always said, "It's all because I have the broken brain."
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And that became my my internal conversation.
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And um I always tell people, "If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them."
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If you argue for those limits, they're yours.
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And I And I had that all through school.
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I had it such a bad fear of I was painfully shy, not just introverted, but shy, because when you um when you feel like you're broken, you don't have feel like you have not anything to add in terms of values.
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Uh I was I didn't have a lot of friends.
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I I would just watch people and study them and just wonder, "Why was this person, you know, so successful at school, or have, you know, so popular, or picked for all these teams?"
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And um I was just painfully shy.
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I would actually I remember I don't talk about this a lot, but I I my um they pulled my parents in my English class in high school, and I was failing.
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And it He was like the teacher said, "Okay, I'll give you one chance.
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You do this extra credit report."
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And um you know, and it was on Einstein and Da Vinci.
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And you know, and I didn't know anything about them, but this is what's going to allow you to pass.
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And I was so excited because I put all my energy in there for months, and I did this book report, and it And I've never put all of my talent and time and focus into one project before.
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And uh the day I had to turn it in, I had it professionally bound.
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I mean, it was like so proud of it, cuz I'd never been good at anything.
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And um And at the end of class the teacher is like I have a surprise for everybody Jim come up in front of the class and tell everyone about Einstein and DaVinci and I I was so scared I didn't realize I had to give a talk like a book report on this.
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So I I said I lied I said I didn't do it.
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And after 3 months of pouring my heart and everything into it my potential if you will I just I lied I said I didn't do it cuz I was so fearful of keep getting in front of a group of people I know fear of public speaking is a big deal for a lot of people and after you could look at the teacher's face she was so disappointed.
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And I was disappointed in myself also and but after the class left I remember taking it out of my backpack and throwing it into the trash and I felt like when I did that I was also throwing away something else like maybe my my dreams if you will.
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my my dreams if you will. But at the age of 18 I I thought I could turn it all around I was lucky enough to get into college university I wanted to make a fresh start show my family show the world show myself I could do it and I did worse and um and at the time I just I just doubled
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down and and I was just ready to quit and then friends like hey why don't you get some perspective before you tell your family you're quitting school come visit my my family this weekend I'm going home and I did and the family was pretty well off and and happy and successful if you will. And the father
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And the father walks me around his property and says Jim you know how's school and I just that's the worst question you could ask me and I just start balling and I just I was like I tell my whole story about the broken brain so I tell Jim why are you in school? What do you want to be? What do you want to do?
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What do you want to have?
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What do you want to share in the world?
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And and I I just I didn't have any clue cuz it's funny when you don't ask yourself that question you don't have answers you know that wasn't conversations that I had growing up.
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And I and I and I go to answer him and he takes out he says stop he takes out a piece of paper out of his back pocket and makes me write it down and you know how important it is to write and reflect I never did that before but when I was done, I had this bucket list of all the things that I want to accomplish.
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And when I was done, I started folding the sheets and he grabbed out of my hand.
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He started reading it and I'm freaking out cuz I wasn't expecting him to look at my deepest dreams.
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And when he's done, he's like, "Jim, you're this close to everything on that list."
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and he spreads his fingers about a foot apart. And I was like, "No way.
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Give me 10 lifetimes, I'm not going to crack that list."
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And he takes his fingers and he puts them to the side of my head.
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Meaning what's in between is really the answer, the key, the bridge, if you will, which was my brain.
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And he walks me to a room of his home and to a room I've never seen. You would love it.
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It's wall to wall, ceiling to floor covered in books.
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And I'm phobic of books, right?
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I mean, I'm just not a good reader, never finished a book in my life. I bet you didn't. Yeah.
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And this is like I mean, now I I read I read a book a day.
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And I'm so They're my best friends.
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But, um but they're like, you know, a lot of people are afraid of snakes.
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It's like being in a room full of snakes.
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But, what makes it worse, he starts grabbing snakes and handing them to me.
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I start looking at these titles and they're classics.
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There's these incredible biographies of men and women in history and some very early personal growth books.
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Like Norman Vincent Peale, The Power of Positive Thinking, Dale Carnegie, I mean, Napoleon Hill, all the classics, right?
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He's like, "Jim, I want you to read one book a week." And I was like, "No way.
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I don't know I'm fighting for my limitations. I can't do that.
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I have so much schoolwork."
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And he's looking at me like, "Jim, don't let school get in the way of your education."
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And I didn't realize this was a Mark Twain quote at the time.
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It's like over 25 years ago.
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And I was like, "That's really insightful, but I still I can't commit to this.
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If I'm going to commit to it, I'm going to do it."
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And very smart man, he reaches into his pocket and he still has my bucket list.
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And he starts reading every single one of my dreams out loud.
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And I don't know what it was, Jay, just hearing Imagine you're this insecure 18-year-old kid and you start hearing your deepest dreams if you never articulated out loud yourself, much less you hear it from another man's voice incanted out into the universe.
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And it messed with my mind and my heart something fierce.
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And honestly, a lot of the half that list were things I wanted to do for my family.
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You know, my parents immigrated here from Asia.
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We I mean, typical story.
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We lived in the back of a laundry mat, didn't speak the language, didn't have any money, education, any of that.
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And I just I wanted to do stuff for my my family that they because of all their sacrifice.
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And with that leverage and and understanding the importance of of of drive and motivation to get to do I'm very curious what motivates people to do things.
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You know, to take I don't believe knowledge is power at all.
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You know, I you know, all the it's potential has a potential be power, right?
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You know, but all the podcasts, online programs, coaching, seminars, none of it works unless we work it.
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And and so with that motivation, I agreed to read one book a week.
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So, fast forward, I'm back at school and I'm sitting at my desk.
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I have a pile of books I have to read for midterms and I have a pile of books that I promised to read.
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And I couldn't even do one pile of books. So, what do I do? I sacrifice.
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I don't eat, I don't sleep, I don't work out, I don't spend time with friends.
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I don't I live in the library.
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And I just not very sustainable and I end up passing out one night out of sheer exhaustion.
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I fall down a flight of stairs in the library, hit my head again.
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And then I wake up 2 days later in the hospital.
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And at this point, I've lost all I was I lost I went down to 117 lbs.
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The scariest point in my life ever. I thought I died.
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And you know, when you have a near-death experience, I mean, it makes you think about like deep about who you are and you know, I think a lot of people have, you know, honestly, near-life experiences where they're not they're not, you know, stepping into that place.
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But um made me ask a new question, you know, why am I here?
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Why am I struggling like this?
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And I didn't have any answers.
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Just like, man, I have a really slow brain.
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And then at that time, you know, the nurse came in with a mug of tea and it had a picture of the same one the person I did the book report on, it's Albert Einstein.
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And it was like he and there was a quote on there.
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I felt like he was speaking to me.
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It said, "The same level of thinking that's created your problem won't solve your problem."
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And I was like, well, what's my problem?
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I was like, I'm a very slow learner. I'm a very slow brain.
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He was like, well, how do I think differently about it?
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Well, maybe I can learn how to learn faster.
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Maybe I can learn how to have a faster brain.
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And I put my studies aside and I just start studying learning.
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You know, learning how to learn.
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I think it's a superpower.
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If there's one skill to master in the 21st century, you know, with all this change that's going on, rapid change, it's the only constant is just how do you learn it and absorb it and think differently and apply it.
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And so I started studying neuroscience and adult learning theory, multiple intelligences, um anything I can get my hands on, mnemonics, speed reading, everything.
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And then about 60 days into it, a light switch went on and I started to understand things for the very first time.
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I mean, it was just like And I remember, I never talk about this, but I I remember the time, the moment it happened.
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It was um we were in class.
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It was about 300 people in a lecture center.
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And back then, there were these um these overhead projectors, right?
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And with these, you know, and it's like with these with these like with these pulling like and um and then and then the professor put something on the overhead projector and, you know, a few seconds into it, I just start laughing. And I'm so quiet.
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I'm the quiet one in class.
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I do everything to not Like if I was to have one superpower back in school, it was invisibility.
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Like I didn't want to be seen.
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I didn't I mean, I wanted to be seen.
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I wanted to be heard, but I didn't want the spotlight.
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And um and so, because, you know, when you're broken and you feel like you're not enough, you don't want that attention.
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But I start laughing out loud, really loud, and everyone turns around and looks at me. And I'm freaking out.
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Like, oh my goodness, like cuz I didn't realize it.
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And then about 30 seconds into it, other people started laughing.
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There was this ripple effect, and we were laughing at what was on the screen, but I had just read it and learned it really fast, right at that moment.
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And I didn't realize it at the time.
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Um but with my grades, when my grades improved, my life improved.
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And here's the thing, when my inspiration really was my desperation.
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You know, how I ended up on this path all those years ago was I couldn't help but help other people, right?
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You talk about your passion, and my passion became learning, but my purpose also became teaching, you know, sharing with other people because I felt really upset that I wasn't taught this back in school, and I had to go through all that suffering and struggling every single day, you know, sometimes crying myself to sleep, not feeling I was enough.
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And um so I started helping other individuals, and um I don't share this story um very often, but um I didn't know how to help other individuals.
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So I was like, "Okay, I'm going to I was walking as I was doing this meditation around campus," and I noticed there was this classroom that wasn't being used late at night on a Thursday night.
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And I was like, "Okay, um next week, I'm going to put five or 10 people in that room, teach them for free, and then maybe afterwards one or two of them want to be my students, and then I could tutor them."
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And then um I go back to my uh dorm room, and I take out a piece of paper, and I write free speed reading, memory tips, get better grades in less time, Thursday 7:00 p. m.
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And the next morning, this is like my first like, you know, uh opportunity to share this.
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Next morning, I make some photocopies, and on the way to class, just put some around the campus, not a lot.
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Um and then fast forward to Thursday 7:00, I go I'm walking around the hallway, I'm just hoping five people showed up were interested in this, and I turn the corner, and there's a crowd of people outside the door.
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And I'm freaking out because I was like, honestly, I was like, "Oh, I hope whatever's going on ends soon so I can do my thing."
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And uh I go up to there, and and there's this crowd of people, and I can't even see inside cuz there's a big tall guy.
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I was like tapping on him, like, "What's going on inside?"
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He's like, "There's a speed reading class."
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And honest to God, Jay, I was like, "Wow, what a coincidence."
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What What are the odds there's another speed reading class the same room, the same night, the same time?
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And I pushed my way in, and there's rooms full of people, people standing in the back, but nobody's teaching.
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And it takes my slow brain all that time to realize why they're all there, and I do a head count, and instead of five or 10 people, there's 110 people.
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Now, keep in mind, I'm phobic of public speaking, I'm 18 years old.
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I look, you know, like really young.
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I'm wearing t-shirts, shorts.
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I've nothing prepared to talk about.
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And there's teaching assistants in there, graduate students.
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And um my heart's beating out of my chest. I can't even breathe. And so I leave.
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Cuz I can't I can't do it.
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And uh I will go to this um the fountain and I have I always meditated in my in my life.
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It's just something more my nature cuz I spent so much time in my imagination to myself um as as an introvert.
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And um and I when I was meditating, I heard this voice inside my head and it's my mom's.
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And she says, I won't tell you exactly what she says, but essentially it's like 100 people came out because you promised to help them.
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And you're disappointing them, you're disappointing me.
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And um and I'm doing this walking meditation back to the my dorm room and I stop.
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And I take one step back to the classroom.
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And isn't it interesting that one step in another direction can completely change your destination Mhm. or your destiny, right? Absolutely. And I go back.
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And honestly, as a memory expert, it's embarrassing.
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I don't even remember what I talked about.
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I mean, I don't know how you are on stage, but sometimes it just flows just flows through you, right? Yeah.
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And uh I remember, you know, on stage with Wayne Dyer.
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He's like, he never preps. He just Yes.
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He just prays, you know, prays the servant.
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It just comes right through.
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And but after 2 hours, I come out of this trance.
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And I was just like, okay, but I remember what I said then.
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Consciously, I was like, oh, I don't know if I can help everybody here, but it don't take about 10 hours for me to teach you some of the things that I'm doing 2 hours a week, you know, um you know, over the next 5 weeks.
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And I'm just said, oh, you know, I get $30 an hour to to teach this cuz that's what I got um teaching tennis back in, you know, high school.
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If you're interested, I'll be in the student center tomorrow at noon.
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And then I I swear to you, Jay, 100 people just get up and they leave.
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And didn't know no interaction at all.
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And I am I feel two things.
15:15
Number one, I feel completely confused.
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I'm just like, what happened?
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like, what happened? Did everyone just not Did I just What did I say while this was going on and did I just was I complete idiot and then the other feeling I had was complete exhaustion because you know when you get yourself to do something you never thought you could do like you
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know whether it's public speaking or or talking to that person that you're always you know attracted to or starting that business or jumping out of that plane or whatever I was completely exhausted mentally emotionally physically and I end up falling asleep
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on the floor on that carpet it was it was the best sleep of my life I've ever had to this day and I get woken up by the class coming in the next morning and I mean scary you're like drooling on yourself looking up and seeing like you know class students and I run back to my
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dorm room and I shower I go to breakfast go to class 12:00 comes I promised to people I'd be in the student center I run there I just hope one person is there and when I get there the entire that crowd is this is there showed up and at the end of in about an hour or two
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71 of the 100 kids signed up for a program that didn't even exist and it was at a price point of a $300 because I didn't even do the math because I wasn't doing it for the money it was like 100 you know 71 times $300 because I didn't realize kids could go
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to the ATM machine and take out $300 because I didn't I didn't have an ATM card I didn't have that guy never saw $300 in my life and so I so now I'm not even 19 years old and I have $21,000 cash in my backpack and and I go back to my mentor his wisdom saying don't let school get
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in the way of your education and I feed my body because I lost all that weight but mostly I use that to invest in feeding my mind and I buy every book every audio cassette at that time there's no everything was it wasn't digital I traveled the world to learn my craft and
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the reason why I do this today is because one of those students 71 young adults she was a freshman she read 30 books in 30 days I mean can you imagine going online and picking up 30 books, you know, and and just absorbing, not skim it, but just really understood it. And I wanted to
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And I wanted to find out not how, but why, going back to motivation.
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And I found out that her mother was dying of terminal cancer.
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And was only given to 60 days to live, 2 months to live.
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Doctors um And so I I wish her well, prayers.
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6 months later I get a call from this young lady.
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She's crying and crying and crying.
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I can't get a word out of her.
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And I find out that her tears of joy that her mother not only survived, but is really getting better.
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Doctors don't know how or why.
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They called it a miracle.
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But her mother attributed 100% to the great advice she got from her daughter, who learned it from all these books.
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And that's where I realized at that moment if knowledge is power, learning is your superpower.
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It's a superpower we all have inside of us.
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And I devoted my life to showing people how to unlock and unleash it. Wow.
18:06
Um so I get I I get a little choked up thinking about about that.
18:10
But that that's my mission, the boy with the broken brain.
18:13
I just want to no brain left behind. Yeah.
18:15
Yeah, I want to show I want to show people really what they're capable of and then they that we all have genius inside of us.
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That it's not how smart you are, it's really how are you smart. Mhm.
18:23
And um and we've had this conversation, you know, with And that's what I feel like people are looking for that. Yeah. I love that, man.
18:32
That's Yeah, listening to it in full like that, and I'm sure there's so much more, but thank you for so much for sharing those stories as well.
18:41
They're really powerful and the the genuineness and sincerity with which you're doing this just comes across really naturally. I can feel the energy.
18:50
It's not even a And I already knew that about you, but it's not about anything else apart from no brain left behind. I love that.
18:58
But yeah, let's let's look at that a bit more and I and I want to unpack parts of that story because I think that a lot of people are listening right now or watching right now and they're saying Jim, I feel exactly how you felt. Yeah. Right? I was the same.
19:13
I never felt I liked reading growing up because we only read fiction books at school. Right.
19:19
I've never been a fan of certain types of fiction that we were exposed to at school. Okay.
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And when I got exposed to non-fiction when I was 14, I got fascinated with reading and I just kept reading and reading and reading.
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Because I loved reading about real people and real stories.
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And at the same time, I've been fascinated by superheroes or magic, but we never read books like that, fiction books like that at school. Right, right.
19:40
So, I also had challenges with what I loved and what I didn't love and what I believed.
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So, our biggest challenge is, you know this, I know this, are around our beliefs, are around what we believe is possible. Right.
19:52
You had a eight from eight years old to 18, that seems like a really tough time in your life in terms of your projections of yourself, your beliefs about yourself.
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What is your advice now to people who have those limiting beliefs?
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How do they start that journey or that process Yeah.
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of opening up their minds or whatever you feel is right for them?
20:12
I I really do feel this is one of the most important conversations people could be having right now Mhm.
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because to create any kind of results in our life, we need to behave a certain way.
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But in order to do a behavior, we need a belief that enables that to happen.
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And um I think the nature of a lot of the work that that we do is is about transcending.
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Is uh when I say we, I mean everyone who's here in this community, it's about transcend, it's about ending the trance.
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Ending this mass hypnosis through marketing, through media that says that you're broken, you know, exactly what I experienced as a child, that you need to be that you need to be fixed, that there is something wrong with you.
20:54
And I feel like, you know, a lot of this fear of not feeling like you're enough is is is at the root of a lot of challenges because in in in actuality, we're not so much a a thermometer reacting to the environment all the time as we are thermostat and our beliefs are kind of like the temperature we're setting.
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And when we set a goal or or a belief or a vision for something, you know, the environment changes, but I think people make them kind of money that they believe that they are worth.
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That they are in the kind of relationship or lack thereof.
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Maybe because of of what they believe about, you know, relationships or they believe about who they are and how valuable that they they are or maybe even the state of health, right?
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That the power of a belief or placebo that people could change the level of health just by having a certain a thought.
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And um and we know that there's a biology to belief also as well.
21:44
And so what I I know in in my experience of having students in over 180 countries, working with children with the most severe learning challenges to adults, you know, I don't I know I never talk about this.
21:58
My My grandmother died of Alzheimer's.
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You know, and so that affects your beliefs when you're a child along with my brain injury, labeled a broken brain.
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I remember going to see my grandmother and she would call me by the you know, my by my brother's name.
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You know, I would remember talk to my grandmother about something and then 2 minutes later we're talking about the same exact thing and people who know, you know, who have had this experience and who doesn't know somebody who had, you know, who has been affected by dementia or Alzheimer's, you just it's like you lose your mind, you lose part of, you know, who you are, your identity.
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And so all those things affect your belief about what is possible.
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So the reason why I do these demonstrations on stage is to really shake up what people feel is possible.
22:39
But I know and this is what research shows that regardless of your age, your background, your career, your education, your financial situation, your gender, your history, your IQ, only about a 1/3 according to the research is pre- your intellect, your potential, your memory is predetermined by genetics and biology, but 2/3 is in your control.
22:58
Now some people will say 100% is in your control, you know, epigenetics and your beliefs and the power of it, but I research, you know, traditionally speaking, 2/3 is you have more influence than you think. Mhm.
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That it's not 2/3 is good enough. Exactly.
23:12
That it's not it's not it's you know, the the whole mindset between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset is that um that it's not set.
23:18
Like your IQ, when you take an IQ test when you're a child, it's not what you're set for life.
23:21
It's not fixed like your shoe size.
23:22
And um plus, you know, the beliefs around IQ, people feel like that that a standardized test could This is your potential.
23:30
I mean, that's ludicrous, right?
23:32
That that something like that is set.
23:34
And so, I think when we're talking about beliefs, all of it is has to do with our our culture and what our influences what we're imprinted on early on.
23:44
And I also believe part of it has to do with our self-talk.
23:46
I remember I was preparing to to run a marathon, you know, with a name like Quick.
23:52
And people talk about my name.
23:53
I I didn't change my name to do what I do.
23:55
It's my father's name, my grandfather's name. That's so cool.
23:58
You know, and so it's um it's something that I was born with and and I would say that um when I was running this marathon, I read this chapter in a book on the psychology of it and it said this word for word cuz I'm a memory expert.
24:09
It said, "Your brain is like a supercomputer and your self-talk is a program it will run.
24:14
So, if you tell yourself you're not good at remembering names, you will not remember the name of the next person you meet because you program your supercomputer not to."
24:23
And um you know, I always tell people your mind is always eavesdropping on your self-talk. It's always listening. You know this.
24:31
If If people knew how powerful their minds were, like right now when people are listening to this, you have hundreds of millions of neurons firing off, you know, and they say a person's mind once stretched by new idea never regains its original dimensions, right?
24:47
Neurogenesis, neuroplasticity, we're always, you know, thoughts that you know, um brain cells that wire together, they they they they fire together, they wire together.
24:54
These thoughts are things.
24:55
And so, I would say, if you knew how powerful your minds really were, you wouldn't have a thought or say something you didn't want to be true.
25:02
And now, that's not to say you have one negative thought and it ruins your life, right?
25:06
Anymore than eating a donut ruins your life, you know, like you know, your body.
25:09
But, it's the habit of doing it, right?
25:11
We talk about habits like meditation and working out and eating right and gratitude.
25:15
But, you know, what about the habits of our feelings?
25:18
The emotional habits that we have.
25:20
What about the habits of our thoughts that were the the things we're saying to ourselves all the time inside.
25:26
Like, I have a friend, like, you know, I feel like we ask these things all the time.
25:29
We have these thoughts that we have to be conscious of in order to change.
25:31
But, um and we have certain thoughts that are just constant.
25:33
Like, um like like these dominant ones.
25:36
And I remember when a friend of mine we went through this exercise and her primary thought is, "How do I get people to like me?" Wow.
25:46
Like, can you imagine if you ask yourself hundreds of times a day, consciously or unconsciously, "How do I get people to like me?"
25:50
Like, Jay, you don't know this person.
25:52
You don't know her age, her background, her her career, any her her financial You don't know anything about her, but you know everything about her. Mhm. Right?
26:00
If somebody's asking themselves constantly like themselves, you know, "How do I get people to like me?"
26:04
You I mean, what's that person like?
26:06
Like, what's their personality like?
26:08
You know, they're always they're people pleaser, you know, their personality is changing depending on who they're spending time with. They're a martyr.
26:14
They're always looking to serve and they're and and you know all that stuff because you know one of their thoughts, because thoughts are things.
26:21
And so, I would ask people to evaluate, you know, your beliefs, your self-talk because it it runs these programs.
26:26
And it's so once you're conscious of it, you can make changes.
26:29
Like, you know, I don't have a great memory yet.
26:31
You know, simple a simple three-letter word at the end of a sentence changes everything cuz words have power.
26:37
You know, um there's even this little pet peeve I have is that, you know, people talk about nice and they talk about kind, but those are two completely different things, like night and day, you know, in terms of what motivates.
26:49
Somebody who's nice a a person who's nice could treat with somebody who's going through a bad day or a homeless person, they could treat them nice.
26:57
But somebody who's kind is different.
26:59
They invest their their time, there's caring, there's work.
27:01
You know, a nice person does things when they have the time, a kind person does they they make the time to do things, right?
27:07
A nice person is more It's a beautiful distinction.
27:11
externally motivated, meaning somebody who's nice usually sometimes they placate, they don't want to create waves, they don't want to upset anybody.
27:20
Um because they don't want to look bad.
27:22
Um and but somebody who's kind they're more internally motivated and they they they they do what's right because out of caring and compassion.
27:28
Because you know, a nice person might not recognize the the the broccoli in your teeth because they would they don't want to create anything.
27:36
But but a a kind person be like, "Hey, you got something there."
27:38
Or they'll call you on your stuff and they'll tell you what you need to hear because they'll speak the truth because they're not trying to get validation. You know.
27:45
That's that's a beautiful like little distinctions in words, even things like, you know, people say all the time, "I got to pick up the kids.
27:50
I I got to journal today. I got to meditate."
27:53
But you change that word got to get, "Oh my goodness, I I get to pick up my kids. I get to work out today. I get to eat right. I get to meditate."
28:03
So, you know, those those words affect how we think and they affect our core beliefs.
28:06
And so I would say one of the fundamental places to changing those that belief is to really be conscious of your your thoughts, especially those automatic they call them ants, automatic negative thoughts, right?
28:18
You want to want to be able to squash those ants cuz it's definitely good for your brain. I love that.
28:23
Yeah, I know and and I couldn't agree with you more.
28:26
I couldn't agree with you more.
28:26
It's it's it's incredible how simple it sounds and seems even though it has such a profound effect on us. Right?
28:34
Like it has such a profound effect.
28:37
Like changing adding that three-letter word yet. Right. Right?
28:41
Just that small thing can have such a huge impact.
28:43
But we need to give this attention in our lives because otherwise that negative self-talk has been playing for so long that it could just keep going on in the background.
28:53
Right, and we don't even know where it came from, you know, even when when when we're children.
28:56
So, we're not and I feel like that in order to be able to make any kind of change, you have to recognize what it is.
29:01
Otherwise, then we're at the effect of it.
29:04
Then then we're going back to being a a thermometer, if you were.
29:08
And that would that would be the big challenge, but then then you would call it fate when it's really, you know, you begin this awareness having those distinctions. Absolutely.
29:16
And we have to think about what we also want to invest in learning, too. Of course.
29:20
Because I feel like the pressure of I remember that you've just made me think of this when you were talking about your school experience.
29:26
Every year in my high school, so secondary school we call it secondary school, you call it high school, we used to get ranked for every subject out of 180 students.
29:38
And it would be put up in front of everyone. Mhm.
29:40
So, you'd be ranked against everyone in your peer group out of 180 in every single subject in school.
29:45
So, math, English, biology, chemistry, physics, art, design, English, history, geography, politics, whatever it was.
29:54
And then you'd be able to see where you were.
29:56
And I remember there were certain subjects like philosophy, art and design, economics where I would always perform well.
30:01
I I'd always probably be in the top five, three, and one more often than not in those subjects.
30:06
And then subjects like math and English, I was always pretty high up.
30:10
But things like math and geography, I was always kind of in the middle maybe towards the the latter half.
30:15
And and it's interesting how that we amplify that which we're not good at. That's interesting. Right?
30:23
We amplify It's like saying, for example, you give me the broccoli example, but imagine you dress up to go out to an event. Right.
30:30
Everyone at the event was just like, "Oh, Jim, I love your shoes. I love that T-shirt. I love the slogan."
30:33
And then you get one person who comes up to you and says, "Jim, that slogan makes no sense."
30:38
And we go home amplifying that one person who said that makes no sense.
30:44
Why does that happen and how do we stop that happening?
30:46
Like how do we stop the mind from doing that?
30:47
Because I actually think more people receive compliments, they receive encouragement, they're receiving support, but actually our mind tricks us into amplifying and magnifying Yeah. the one negative piece.
31:00
It's like in your comments, I'm sure you see it.
31:04
When you're scrolling through your comments, your mind naturally goes to the the critical one. Right, right.
31:09
see so many social media so many influencers, so many models, actors, actresses who get consumed by the negative comments on their feeds. Yeah.
31:18
So how do we stop that from happening?
31:20
Yeah, I'm really concerned about this digital age.
31:21
I feel like it serves and enabled I love knowing what you're up to and it's great for staying up to date with with friends and family and learning and inspiration and I love that.
31:33
And you know, we talk about superheroes and superpowers, but they're also there could be like the super villain in that this digital age we have digital overload, too much learn too little time, we have digital distraction. I mean goodness.
31:45
I mean when we pick up our phone every dopamine fix from every like, share, comment, everything.
31:49
And then you have digital dementia relying on your phone and you just does everything for you so you don't have to use your your mental faculties as much.
31:58
So you know, we're so dependent on that.
32:01
But then there's this digital depression that's coming from comparison.
32:02
Right, you see sometimes we see all the good stuff and we focus on the bad or you see every that highlight curated, filtered life of everyone's incredible life and know that you know, you don't see the struggle sometimes as much and that's why I could appreciate your work because it brings it's it's it's it's full and it's it's rich.
32:20
Um full spectrum and I think that one of the challenges is part of your brain through survival you have this reticular activating system that cuz right now there's 2 billion stimuli we could be focusing on.
32:33
I mean you would go go raving mad if if you did, right?
32:35
That's a lot of information, the noise, if you will.
32:39
So, we can only pay attention to a small bite of information.
32:41
You know, out of Harvard, George Miller says it's 7 plus or minus 2, you know, 5 to 9 bits you could consciously be aware.
32:48
And so, what do we become aware of?
32:50
And well, you're right, a lot of that stuff is the the the criticisms.
32:53
It's the it's the people it's the negative stuff that you know, you want to protect yourself from because you it's feeding that fear that we're not we're not enough. Mhm. Right?
33:03
And then you start asking those kind of questions cuz you can delete.
33:04
So, primarily your brain, people don't realize, is a deletion device.
33:07
It's trying to get keep things out. Right?
33:12
So, it deletes, it distorts, and it it generalizes.
33:14
And all of a sudden, you see one bad comment out of a flood of maybe 100 people are rooting for you.
33:20
And then you obsess about that one thing, and then you generalize like that's the real thing.
33:23
And it's kind of interesting when it comes to your happiness because I feel like people who are generally happy will focus, you know, on on the glass half full.
33:30
As opposed cuz at any moment there are negative We could always be sad and depressed and not feel good enough cuz there's plenty of stuff to focus on.
33:38
You know, but just also right now there you know, people getting married.
33:42
There people having, you know, babies.
33:43
There people who are learning new things and starting new careers.
33:46
So, it really is a matter of focus.
33:48
And I and I think, you know, I I did this podcast episode where I was in the power plant.
33:53
And I tell this story about a power plant that's very active.
33:57
And one day it just shuts down.
33:59
In the middle of nowhere, just shuts down.
34:00
And the employees are running around.
34:02
They're they're frantic with their heads cut off.
34:04
And finally, operations manager after 3 hours says, "Okay, well, we got to get some outside help."
34:09
They call local technician.
34:11
Technician's like, "You're lucky.
34:11
I'm right around the corner."
34:12
Technician shows up, and he's he surveys the power plant for about a few minutes.
34:17
He And there's full of beams everywhere.
34:18
He goes to one specific beam, and on there there's all these electrical boxes.
34:22
He goes to one specific electrical box.
34:23
He puts a big X with a magic marker on it.
34:28
He opens it up, and there are all these bolts and wires and screws.
34:29
He goes to one specific screw, and he turns it not a quarter of an inch and all of a sudden the whole power plant lights up again.
34:36
And the operations manager like, "Thank you. You saved our business. You saved the day. How much do I owe you?"
34:40
He's like, "That will be $10,000." And he's like, "What?
34:45
You were here for 5 minutes.
34:46
All you did was turn a screw."
34:48
He's like, "You know, how can you even justify that?
34:50
Just like, give me an itemized bill." He's like, "No problem."
34:52
Technician reaches in his back pocket, takes out a piece of paper, scribbles on it, tears off the sheet, gives it to him and he's like, "Oh, I understand."
34:59
And he goes to his desk, writes a check for $10,000, hands it to the man.
35:03
And he basically and you look at the the the invoice, if you will, and it says, "Turning screw, $1.
35:08
Knowing what screw to turn, $9,999."
35:14
And And the lesson is for people who are listening is not that you have a screw loose, is that little things can make a big difference, right?
35:21
It's like that It's a what I call it a focal point or a force multiplier, you know, where it's same amount of input, multiple output or the lead domino, if you will, that could hit a lot of dominoes.
35:32
And the same thing applies to our our our focus and our thoughts.
35:36
And I would say at the core level, people are trying to change their behavior at all times, right?
35:40
They want to change, they want to stop smoking, they want to meditate, they want to go for walks or do something with their kids, but you struggle and and willpower only goes so far, right?
35:49
But above that level is this level of capability, you know, and that's why, you know, people like you say, doing the deep work. Mhm.
35:58
Cuz people avoid the deep work, but if you don't want to do that, you know, if you procrastinate, put things off and you just do the easy things, life is hard. We know that.
36:04
But if you do the hard things, life becomes easier, right? So, the capability.
36:08
So, check do you have the the skill set on how to be able to do that behavior of stop smoking or meditation and such.
36:14
Because there's a there's a competence-confidence loop that the more competent you get, capable, the more confident you get. Totally.
36:22
And then you're more likely to do it and get better.
36:23
So, it's positive momentum.
36:25
But the level above that is the conversation we've been having about beliefs and values.
36:28
Because maybe somebody wants the behavior of of let's say um meditating every single day.
36:34
And maybe they even were were were trained, right, up to do it in capabilities, but the belief is, you know, I can't quiet my mind.
36:45
Or maybe the they the value is they don't value being still and silent with themselves or being present with themselves.
36:51
Or maybe the behavior is they want to remember names better, right?
36:54
But then they maybe and they went through one of our podcasts or something and they got the capability, but the belief is I have a horrible memory. Right?
37:01
Or the value is I don't really care about people.
37:03
You know, and so that that's going to affect the behavior, but people are trying to force it and try to remember names when they should be addressing a different level.
37:09
But the level above beliefs and values is this level of identity.
37:13
And you know, you've addressed this before.
37:16
It's like the two most powerful words in the English language, the shortest words, I am.
37:21
Because whatever you put after that is you know, if somebody they say their behavior is they want to stop smoking, but they, you know, and maybe they have the capabilities to do it.
37:29
They even have beliefs or values around health, but their identity is I am a smoker.
37:35
That's going to be a hard change to make.
37:36
Or maybe they want to stop procrastinating, but their identity is I am a procrastinator.
37:38
You know, that could be a big challenge for a lot of people.
37:42
And the last level I would say below behaviors is this level of environment.
37:46
And the environment really is like let's say somebody has the behavior of they want to, you know, do something like meditate, but their environment doesn't allow them to have time for themselves or maybe they want to um read 30 minutes a day, but their environment doesn't have, you know, it's too dark or whatever.
38:02
Now, the big thing going back to pull this all full circle is the power of beliefs.
38:06
We talked about the power of questions cuz your questions determine what you're focusing on.
38:11
Your particular activating system, what do you focus on is most real.
38:12
Now, in school you learn there are six major core questions, right? Five W's and the H.
38:19
So, look at this again There's these levels of transformation.
38:21
Identity answers the question of who. Right?
38:26
Beliefs and values answers the question of why.
38:29
Capabilities answers the question of how.
38:31
Behavior answers the question of what.
38:33
And the environment answers the question of when and and where.
38:35
So, when you're looking to make complete change, whether it's getting people to read three times faster, remember names, be able to learn another language, be able to meditate, be able to, you know, do any kind of change, start that business.
38:50
You want to make sure all those levels align, then you have alignment here. Mhm.
38:53
You know, mind, body, and uh and life. Yeah, absolutely.
38:56
Yeah, that's that alignment that point you just made at the end there is unbelievable because I couldn't agree with you more.
39:02
Just looking back, it's funny when you study something in school and we just take it as like, ah, you know. Right.
39:09
cute and fun, but when you actually break it down like you just explained it, and I recommend everyone who is listening go listen back to that what what Jim just said.
39:18
Because I think it was Gandhi who said that when what you think, what you say, and what you do are aligned, then you experience harmony in life.
39:26
Yeah, and you're not And I love that word harmony because a lot of people they talk about about balance.
39:32
And it's going back to like and kind, you know, somebody who's nice and kind.
39:37
There's a difference between balance and harmony.
39:38
Like so many people I say, I want a balanced life.
39:41
But balance, when you look up the definition, it's balance is like an equality, like an equal amount of time and effort.
39:48
Like I want But I don't want to spend the same amount of time at work as I do working out, with the kids, and everything.
39:53
So, you don't want to equality there in of of time, but you want harmony, like a like an orchestra, right?
39:59
Like you have not every single instrument or person is has equal amount of time, but they come together and they create this incredible symphony.
40:08
And I feel like we could do that with our with our life also as well.
40:12
And I think that exactly is what you just said.
40:14
What This everything we're talking about has just been brought back full circle because our mindset about our life is I need everything to be balanced. I need to fit this in.
40:21
Like the language around I need to fit something in. Right.
40:25
Or I need to make time for this. Right?
40:28
And it's it puts pressure, artificial pressure, and then it feels like we can't balance.
40:32
Balance kind of feels like you're juggling. Right.
40:36
That is spinning lots of plates or something.
40:38
Yeah, yeah, spinning lots of plates.
40:39
That doesn't feel like a great visualization for the mind or a mindset.
40:44
And then what you've just said that actually shifting balance to harmony. Right.
40:47
And you start thinking about it like an orchestra. Right. It's like, oh, wow.
40:52
And then Hey, so, you know, the the string quartet is playing for that long, percussion comes in then, etc. , etc.
40:58
And it and it all all of a sudden even the visualization of that just just calms the heartbeat right down.
41:04
You know, I I do an annual QuickBrain event and we had in our audience Quincy Jones.
41:07
We actually had Quincy Jones, Don Miguel Ruiz from, you know, wrote The Four Agreements.
41:12
I mean, the founder of the Four Agreements.
41:14
Like they're all sitting like and I just like Quincy comes up and he's 85 years old and I was like, "Tell me about everyone talks about successes, We Are the World, everything.
41:23
I want to I want What are your biggest struggles?
41:24
What are the problems you went through and you had to overcome?"
41:27
He's like, "Jim, I don't have any problems." I'm like, "What?"
41:28
Like I mean, everybody has problems.
41:31
I mean, if you don't have any problems, you're pretty you're 6 ft under, right? Yeah.
41:35
He's like, "No, I don't have any problems. I have puzzles."
41:35
Another change in word and languaging and all of a sudden, you know, for me a puzzle is like fun, you know?
41:42
Puzzle has a has a solution to it.
41:44
Something is something that I could take on.
41:46
So, that languaging plays a big role.
41:48
Even when people are going back to that levels of transformation using words, people say, "I am I am busy."
41:54
You have I mean, this is such a pet peeve of mine, just like nice and kindness, is people say, "Oh, you know, how's it going?" "Oh, I'm just so busy."
42:01
And it's like they get this secondary gain of you know, significance, you know, cuz the meta level message you're sending somebody when you're busy saying you're busy is like, "Oh, I'm really important and successful."
42:13
And for me, like you people will have this badge of honor saying they're busy all the time.
42:17
And then they wonder, you know, they design their whole life around being busy, and they wonder why they're stressed all the time, that they have anxiety, they're not getting any sleep.
42:25
But we're constantly programming it with our thoughts all the time.
42:30
What's your switch for busy valuable, too? Do you have one?
42:32
What do you What do you What do you use? Mine's productive. I like that. I like that. productive.
42:36
So when someone says, "How's your week been?"
42:37
I'm like, "It's been productive."
42:38
Because when I say productive, Yeah. I feel empowered.
42:40
I feel I've been effective.
42:42
And with what we teach, you know, people I don't share this publicly, but I um I have very bad sleep apnea. Mhm.
42:46
And so besides my learning challenges, so my two biggest challenges growing up as a kid were learning and public speaking.
42:54
And the universe has a sense of humor because what I do every day is public speak on learning.
42:58
But of recent um I've been struggling with sleep apnea.
43:04
And usually it's caused by um someone being overweight because they have this extra excess um weight around their neck, so it's hard to breathe.
43:10
And um that's not my case.
43:12
It's uh you know, it's genetic.
43:14
And I stop breathing 200 times a night.
43:16
And each time is at least 10 seconds.
43:18
So, you know, I went to UCLA, and they're like, "No wonder."
43:21
The doctor's like, "It's like you're not sleeping.
43:23
It's like somebody coming in with a pillow and suffocating you 200 times a night, and you I'm waking up cuz I can't breathe."
43:28
And I use a CPAP device, a dental device.
43:29
I flew down to spend 2 weeks with John of God in Brazil.
43:33
I mean, I've done all of this stuff.
43:35
You know, but I do believe that if anyone's watching this or listening to this right now, um the question I ask, we're talking about the power of questions and beliefs, is that there's a gift in every struggle.
43:46
And I ask myself, you know, what Where's the gift in this?
43:48
You know, people talk about post-traumatic stress, and I've had post-traumatic stress. We've all had loss.
43:53
We've all had, you know, a lot loss of loved ones, loss of relationships, financial issues, health issues.
43:58
But I believe that post-traumatic stress, what people don't realize there's also post-traumatic growth.
44:05
That some people, and I am sure you could identify this and a lot of um your community can also is that you've gone through adversity and difficulty and is something you would never wish upon another soul but those people have come out on the other side some people will
44:20
say I honestly wouldn't change it as hard as it was going through it I have a new meaning in my life a new strength a new clarity a new life purpose or mission and and that sculpt my my soul because I believe that difficult times they could diminish you they could define you
44:40
or they could develop you and ultimately we we decide and that's the that's the power we have that whether or not you believe you believe in fate certain things that meant to happen we also have free will to decide what to focus on what things mean you know also as well so with the sleep
44:55
apnea my gift from it is I I search it I'm like what do you know if I'm only sleeping two hours a night it's not like I gained six hours of productivity you're talking about being productive but my gift is number one it's forced me to double down on everything I teach so
45:08
I have to be very highly productive so I so I can read faster and be you know all the stuff that I teach and learn it's because I'm at this disadvantage so I live you know I we had started this conversation with the life you live are the lessons you
45:21
teach you know and so I can roll out of bed at 4:00 in the morning and do this because all I have to do is tell people what I'm doing because I don't have to rehearse it because I you know I live it I'm like just like yourself or anyone watching this but the other thing is not
45:34
only is it the gift was me learning these skills and developing the capability it's forced me to be very protective of my time you know when someone's talking about being busy you know everything in my life is heaven yes or heaven no like right now there's nowhere I'd rather be than right here
45:50
with you you know what I mean because a lot of people who are stressed and overloaded it's self-inflicted because they are self-opting in saying yes way too much you know and we've all read that book good to great say no to good so you can say yes to great. But a lot
46:03
But a lot of people have too many tabs open in their life.
46:06
They're saying yes, yes, yes.
46:07
And a lot of people in this community also do that because they're martyrs.
46:10
They're helping their friends, their family, their loved ones, their customers, their clients, but they're not taking care of themselves.
46:15
And we've all heard self-love and self-care is not selfish.
46:18
That you have to give, you know, to yourself before you can give to somebody else.
46:22
And what I would say to everyone, maybe this is a wake-up call saying that if you know, you have opportunities to rest, you're saying yes way too much.
46:28
Is it to take care and say no to to things so you can say yes to yourself.
46:32
And that's what I've learned to be able to do, you know, with myself because I you know, I don't have infinite energy because of my sleep and everything that comes from that.
46:40
And so, you know, through struggles, you know, can lead to strengths.
46:43
Can lead to superpowers, for sure. Absolutely. I love that.
46:47
You've helped so many thousands of people through your teaching, lectures, courses online, and so many influential people.
46:54
I mean, you've worked with everyone from like Elon Musk to Will Smith to Quincy Jones was at your event, which I didn't know.
47:02
All of these incredible people you've helped and help them learn.
47:04
What have they taught you in the process?
47:06
What have you learned from them?
47:09
So, I learned something from everyone.
47:11
You know, with Quincy, um not only was it um you know, I've I've he is amazing when people find their passion they use it for purpose.
47:17
But one of the things I learned from him is the power of perspective.
47:20
You know, he people don't realize this, but I when I was um you know, I we've been to I've I've celebrated eight of his past 10 birthdays and we talk about things.
47:28
We stay up way late in the night and he speaks 23 languages, which is extraordinary.
47:34
You know, so there's definitely a correlation between music and languages, you know, that part of your brain, if you will.
47:39
But when I'm talking what I've learned from him is the power of perspective, meaning he has this phrase saying you have to go to know.
47:45
Meaning he travels all around the world because he really, you know, I don't think there would be any kind of prejudice, you know, with with other people if people just travel more, you know, in their mind even if it's from books or anything because when you're exposed to culture and language and food and different things you learn a deep appreciation for us.
48:03
You don't have to tolerate it.
48:04
You know, tolerance is one thing but you can actually appreciate and acknowledge and be more accepting of things and notice that the patterns of how we're all the same also.
48:12
So, the power of perspective and you know, even when I went to my friend's house when I was, you know, ready to quit school, you know, that perspective of changing place and people because when you change people place you get a different perspective.
48:25
So, I encourage anyone who's struggling right now with a difficult decision or a different situation to step out of it and change your place meaning just even going for a walk, you know, helps.
48:34
But also changing your people because everyone's heard that who you spend time with is who you become.
48:40
You spend time with nine broke people, you become the 10th, right?
48:41
But there's a there's a real neuroscience reason.
48:45
You have mirror neurons which is your imitation cells that are always imitating what other people are doing.
48:53
That's why we can empathize so well when we're watching a movie.
48:56
We can feel scared when the person's going through a scary moment or you know, sports you can feel what they're feeling.
49:01
But we also when we imitate though also are those things, their capabilities, their beliefs.
49:05
We start imitating their values.
49:07
That's why it's better well done than it is well said for parenting, you know, certainly.
49:13
It's not people don't and then even in online I I I think people who are most successful like yourself is they don't just say it, they show it.
49:19
You know, they don't promise it, they prove it.
49:23
And I feel like that you know, the things that we do is teaches people more than anything else especially for children who don't learn, you know, Maya Angelou said, you know, people will forget what you say, you know, they they they'll they they'll they'll they'll they'll literally they'll forget what you say and they'll they'll forget what you do but they'll always remember how you made them feel, you know, through your example.
49:41
And so, I've learned that from Quincy, you know, from Elon and I actually bonded over sci-fi.
49:49
Our love of sci-fi books going back to fiction.
49:51
A lot of people and I I really do love fiction, but we never had that in school.
49:55
And so, like, you know, so many people in our community they read non-fiction books.
49:58
I totally appreciate that.
49:58
If somebody has decades of experience they put into a book and you can sit down in a couple of days or few days and read that book.
50:04
You can download decades in days.
50:06
Leaders are readers, completely.
50:08
But, um, so much research is coming out saying if people spend more time reading fiction it helps with imagination, Totally. creativity.
50:13
By the way, like, everyone's job right now, like, because where this digital age is going, you think about AI, artificial intelligence, think about automation.
50:21
Everything's being outsourced, right? And you know, it's Asia.
50:24
So, there's the three A's.
50:25
Automation, Asia, and and and artificial intelligence.
50:29
So, what what where's our humanity here?
50:31
It's what makes us special.
50:34
Things that they that computers aren't going to do. Imagination. Mhm. You right? Imagination is power.
50:37
You know, it's Einstein said that.
50:40
Um, what about um, creativity, right?
50:42
Creativity is like the the future belongs to the creatives, Yeah. right?
50:46
And but that's not taught in school.
50:48
You know, school teaches you what to learn, math, history, science, Spanish, and poor class on what to learn, but no class on how to learn.
50:54
They teach you what to learn and what to think, not how to learn and how to think.
50:57
Where are the classes on imagination, creativity, listening, you know, concentration, focus, intel you know, all these different areas.
51:03
You know, I always thought, you know, at least remembering.
51:05
Teach people how to remember what they learn.
51:06
You know, reading, writing, arithmetic, the three R's, but what about recall, retention?
51:10
You know, Socrates says learning is remembering.
51:13
Cuz if we lost half of our memories, we lose like a big part of who we are, you know?
51:17
And And the other reason why is people always students program like Google and somebody said, like, Jim, why do I have to remember all this, you know, I can just search on our search engine. And this is the truth.
51:24
If our life is a reflection of decisions we made up to this point, you know, the the the the the the sum of all our decisions, you know, but we can only make good decisions based on the information that we know and remember.
51:39
If we forgot half the words we knew, half the people we knew, half of our expertise, we won't be able to make good decisions for our life, good decisions for our health, good you know, decisions on our relationship and what to do.
51:48
And so memory really is is is a is a superpower.
51:52
And so with with um with Elon, you know, I read this book um we were bonding over this book called The Structure of Scientific Revolution and it and um and by the other way like the other thing you get from reading if um fiction is not only creativity and imagination um but also empathy.
52:06
You know, when you when you're identifying with the persons in there, you get to feel what they're feeling and how it builds emotional intelligence.
52:14
builds emotional intelligence. Um so we bonded over Ender's Game and all these great sci-fi books, but then the book we were talking about The Structure of Scientific Revolution and which basically says that all innovation from
52:24
every industry, fashion, technology, automotive comes from somebody usually outside the industry because it takes somebody from the outside who didn't grow up with the same limiting beliefs and education as someone traditional to look in and say, "Why aren't you guys doing it like this?" So that outside
52:36
So that outside perspective I learned from from Elon.
52:38
Um Stanley Stanley uh recently passed and he was a real superhero in my life.
52:46
You know, I was there through you know, many time even when he got his Hollywood star of fame um you know, and different moments.
52:54
The reason why I was you know, I I taught myself how to read, you know, 4 years.
52:59
It took me a long time by reading comic books.
53:00
Something about the superhero journey brought that the illustrations, the story brought it to life the words to life for me.
53:06
So he's responsible for teaching me literacy.
53:11
And for me Stan represents I'll give you three things.
53:13
Um for me he represents play.
53:17
Because at 95 even like you know, cuz I was I was with him recently, he um his later years, um he he was the youngest old person I knew. You know what I mean?
53:29
And he and that's I think that's so important because a lot of people say they stop playing because they grew older, but it's the opposite.
53:35
You grow older because you stop playing.
53:37
And he was so playful, you know, so play is a huge lesson for me.
53:42
Number Number The second P I would say is passion.
53:44
He found his passion to his later years, you know, even when most people have retired, he had two passions.
53:51
Number one, he still went to work 9:00 to 5:00 in his well into his 80s um you know, and in early 90s cuz he loves telling stories. Mhm.
53:58
You know, because he found his passion.
54:00
And I use it as a passion.
54:02
It was his wife who was 1 year older. Yeah.
54:05
So, that what a role model that is for me.
54:06
And then finally, the third P is his purpose.
54:09
He turned his his passion of superheroes and he turned it into a real purpose meaning superheroes, you know, what the underlying thing about superheroes is for us?
54:20
I feel like the lesson is one person can make a difference. Totally. You know what I mean?
54:26
With all their flaws and all their mistakes. Exactly.
54:28
And And all the biggest the most famous superheroes out there, they had the biggest challenges.
54:32
You know, all most of our my favorite superheroes, they were orphans. Spider-Man was orphaned. Superman's orphaned. Wonder Woman's orphaned.
54:40
Batman was orphaned, you know, Iron Man orphaned.
54:43
You know, they had the the biggest difficulties, you know, and That's the same thing I love about superheroes.
54:48
And then And they And they really represent hope.
54:50
You know, look to the sky, you know, one person, we could all make a difference.
54:54
And that's purpose for me.
54:55
Even I was a big supporter of the Stan Lee Foundation and it was all we all we we did is we brought entertainment with Stan as brought entertainment to the classroom cuz he knew education by itself is just it's boring, you know, you can't just you lecture to somebody.
55:10
Kids don't learn just by consuming.
55:11
They learn through creating, you know, and you talk about this a lot.
55:15
Education is one thing, but education if you want real empowerment, you melt education with entertainment, then you have that empowerment.
55:22
And Stan was was epic in that.
55:24
The lessons he taught even back in the 60s, you know, when we lost you know, Martin Luther King and you know, Kennedy and everything, he talked about he talked about bigotry like back in the 60s.
55:34
You know, Stan, so he was a real role model because for me, when we're talking about play, we're talking about passion, we're talking about purpose, it also is about um making a difference.
55:45
You know, superheroes just having a superpower doesn't make you superhero. Totally. Right?
55:49
Everybody Somebody can have a superpower.
55:51
And I'm not talking about superpowers of leaping tall buildings and shooting lasers out of your eyes.
55:55
We all have our own super um unique abilities or unique talents, you know, our unique strengths.
55:59
But just having those don't make you superhero.
56:01
You have to use that of those powers to make a difference. Totally.
56:05
To make the world a better place.
56:05
And that's what he did through his his foundation. Yeah. No, absolutely.
56:11
Big honor to him and his incredible work.
56:13
And yeah, teaching so many lessons through superheroes.
56:15
Whether it's comics or movies, I feel exactly the same way.
56:19
The reason why I love superheroes, super superhero movies and comics is because I literally look at that and go they've all got flaws.
56:26
They've had really challenging lives, but they're still trying to save the world and they're working together. Yeah. Right? They all collaborate. They That's huge. work together.
56:35
all of their flaws and with their different traits, they're not, you know, one superhero is not looking at the other one going, "Oh, I wish I had uh lasers coming out my eyes." Right, right, right.
56:44
They're happy and confident in their own power and ability, but at the same time they can appreciate the need for the other one. Yeah.
56:49
And that's kind of like any kind of relationship, even even in in a marriage or in your team, in your organization, you know, they talk about getting the right people on the bus and then getting them in the right seats.
57:00
And then we're all driving, you know, through this vision together.
57:01
But I believe that the the greatest thing I mean, I love books, but I think a single conversation with somebody could go so deep.
57:09
And so, I'm I'm name I'm naming famous people, like, you know, like a Richard Branson or a you know, because it the reason why though is is not to drop names, is because it creates these mnemonic triggers.
57:19
So, when you see this like, for example, with Jim Carrey, um you know, I help actors um speed read scripts or memorize their lines better.
57:28
And we I remember we were in their kitchen his kitchen, we're making guacamole, which is by the way, great brain food.
57:32
Avocado's great for your brain.
57:34
And I ask him like, you know, um, you know, why do you do what you do?
57:36
Uh, going back to purpose and mission.
57:38
And I he's like, "Jim, I act like a complete fool on camera and so extreme because I want to get people watching permission to be themselves."
57:46
He's like, "My my mission is to free people from the concern of other people." Wow.
57:52
And I really do believe, Jay, that you know, we could go broke buying into the opinions and expectations of other people.
57:57
That if we're being energized by people's, you know, fueled by other people's opinions, then we could run out of fuel and gas Totally.
58:05
really, really, really fast. Totally.
58:07
And I think one of the thing that represses our ability to express ourselves to the highest level is, you know, you know, I spend a lot because I I lost my grandmother to Alzheimer's, I spend a lot of time in nursing homes still to this day, to senior centers, not teaching them memory tricks, but really showing them, you know, having them share these stories.
58:26
And you know, so we could polish off their memories.
58:27
But the biggest regret at that age, when people are passing or you know, when they have limited amount of time, is their biggest regret is, you know, not living their life.
58:36
I believe, Jay, for people to feel truly fulfilled and happy, they want to have the curiosity to know themself, but then also the courage to be themself. Mhm.
58:45
You know, the curiosity to know yourself, you reflect, you journal, you meditate, you go through all these personal growth experiences to know who you are.
58:54
But then once you know more about who you are, you know, being who you are is it you know, it takes courage.
58:58
It takes boldness because, you know, you don't want to look bad and you don't want to make a mistake.
59:03
And those are, you know, big challenges people have.
59:05
And so, um, you know, I don't I don't want people to have that regret because if people are scared about looking bad, I think people should use that fear of saying, "Well, what if What if you would have done it?
59:16
It would change your life.
59:16
What if you would have done it?
59:18
It would have changed the world." Mhm. Absolutely. We've all been there. Yeah.
59:22
Moments where even now where we stop ourselves.
59:25
I've got five last big questions for you. This is it now.
59:27
So it's These are the questions.
59:30
What was the last thing that you learned for the first time?
59:34
You probably asked that a lot.
59:35
What was the last the last thing you learned for the first time like recently?
59:38
What did you learn for the first time again? That I learn we relearn.
59:44
I think one of the most important lessons I've ever learned is that the that I am 100% responsible Nice. for my life.
59:53
I constantly get that lesson over and over again that I'm not a victim, that I am responsible for everything in my life, you know, and I think that that's that's having that it really serves people. Awesome.
1:00:05
If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?
1:00:10
This is a big one, right? Yeah.
1:00:12
Um My I would love to have the superpower of having other people unleash their superpowers.
1:00:17
That that's I'm very I'm very passionate about that.
1:00:20
Self you know, like the ability to superpower to heal other people. Mhm.
1:00:23
Because we all know somebody is struggling right now.
1:00:27
Selfishly, it would be the ability to teleport because you and I travel so much and we seen each other in so many different countries. So uh you That's true.
1:00:33
You know, so teleporting would be nice, but the ability to help other people unleash their superpower. Same. I'm with you on that. I want the same one.
1:00:40
Yeah, I I feel like that's that's yeah.
1:00:43
modern day superheroes, the world you know, the world people the best version of ourselves showing up.
1:00:51
You know, imagine that like you you talk about it with team, right?
1:00:53
In culture it's just like yes, Captain America's great on his own, Thor is great on his own, Iron Man's great on their own, but when they come all together in the Avengers or Batman Superman in one room come together in the Justice League, it's a different it's a different story. Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay, this question.
1:01:08
Best advice you've ever received.
1:01:10
The best advice I've ever received Or the one you can remember. Right.
1:01:16
No, I can remember Well, I can remember a lot.
1:01:17
Um I would say going um going back to my my story about my original mentor is not to let school get in the way of your education that if you didn't perform well in school then that's okay.
1:01:31
That is not how smart you are.
1:01:33
It's it's really how are you smart. Mhm.
1:01:34
And everybody has everybody has these gifts. Totally.
1:01:37
Uh worst advice you've ever given someone?
1:01:39
The worst advice I've ever given somebody? Oh goodness. Um I would say this.
1:01:46
I would I would say this.
1:01:51
This is my favorite advice to give somebody but then there's the caveat of the worst advice.
1:01:54
So I'd say know yourself, trust yourself, love yourself, be yourself.
1:02:00
But if you're a jerk be somebody else. So don't be that person.
1:02:03
So that would be bad advice to give somebody who's a jerk.
1:02:07
Don't don't be that person. I like it. I like it.
1:02:09
And if someone wants to become a better learner right now in their life, what's the number one thing that they can do to start that journey? Yeah. I would say this.
1:02:19
Um Rumi said, "Sell your cleverness for bewilderment." Mhm. You know what I mean?
1:02:24
Like I people do not learn because they feel like they know it all.
1:02:27
And we talked about Stan Lee and his age 95.
1:02:28
I believe age is a state of mind. It's a state of heart.
1:02:34
And if you were you know the fastest learners on the planet, they're children.
1:02:37
You know, they have this sense of wonder, the sense of bewilderment.
1:02:41
They're they're they're fascinated.
1:02:41
They ask lots of questions.
1:02:42
They're not afraid of making mistakes.
1:02:44
And you know, a child could fall a thousand times to learn how to walk, you know, but sometimes somebody wants to learn how to sing or to dance.
1:02:52
They try one or two times and they have this fear of looking bad. Yeah.
1:02:55
And I would say trade and sell your cleverness for bewilderment and play a whole lot more. That is beautiful. We'll end on that.
1:03:03
That is Jim Kwik, everyone. Mind-blown. Absolutely mind-blowing.
1:03:07
That was absolutely incredible, man.
1:03:09
That was just such a pleasure and joy to listen to you speak and share your stories.
1:03:13
Thank you for sharing so openly as well.
1:03:14
I know you really Thank you. went there. Thank you for that.
1:03:18
Thank you to everyone who's listening and watching because yeah, I would I recommend everyone to listen to this one again and watch it again.
1:03:24
Yeah, I would I would say in parting words is to listen to this, maybe even take a screenshot of this video or podcast and then post it and then tag both of us and then share your big aha.
1:03:33
If you want to learn faster, the other thing I would say besides being curious and playful is to teach.
1:03:37
Oh, tell me When you learn how to and then you learn with the intention intention matters with you when you learn with the intent of teaching somebody else, you're going to learn it faster because when we share when we teach something we get to learn it twice.
1:03:48
So I would say if they can take if it's appropriate take a screenshot of it, tag us both, but share your big aha or your big learning.
1:03:55
So rewatch it, relisten to it and that goes a long way.
1:03:59
I believe that our life I compare it to an egg that if an egg is broken by an outside force, life ends, but if it's broken by an inside force, then life begins and all great things begin on the inside and everyone here they have greatness inside of them.
1:04:12
They have genius inside of them and I love shows like yours because it helps people to let it out. No, absolutely.
1:04:18
And it's it's exactly what you just said.
1:04:20
I remember when I was studying as a monk, my biggest inspiration was also a quote from Einstein who's who's standing right there behind me.
1:04:29
The quote was, "If you can't explain something simply, you don't understand it well enough."
1:04:34
And that's how I would study.
1:04:34
I would study saying, "How do I simplify this to explain it to someone?" Yeah.
1:04:38
Because if I can explain it to someone, articulate to them in the way that they can remember it, Mhm.
1:04:44
and they can remember and apply it in their own life again and again and again, then I'll be able to do it, too. Interesting.
1:04:51
If we're not No, you're living this.
1:04:52
Like you're a great example of this that if we're not unpacking it in that way, then there's no chance that we can live it. So I love that. Study to learn.
1:04:58
I mean, study to learn, yeah.
1:05:00
Study to learn and then when you teach, you learn more, too. Yeah.
1:05:04
Yeah, so we we learn and then we earn and then we return.
1:05:10
Thank you so much for watching that video.
1:05:12
If you enjoyed it, here's another one I think you'll love.
1:05:14
You don't even know the number of amazing things you do every day.
1:05:18
Instead, you focus and ruminate on the one thing you didn't get to, and then you use that as evidence.
1:05:25
Again, dust on the mirror.
1:05:26
To see a human being that's not measuring up and never will, and all that stuff their stupid fourth grade teacher said to you must be true. Dust on the mirror. No.
1:05:35
You need to interrupt this.