0:00
At its worst, it's an excuse.
Search this video
0:02
At its best, it's a lack of perspective.
0:04
The reality is you could never do that for that person.
0:06
On the flip side, if you're like, please just pay attention to who's giving the advice.
0:11
People say things to me all the time like, you've never built a business.
0:18
Hello everyone, welcome back to On Purpose.
0:21
I'm so grateful that you're a part of this community.
0:23
I'm so grateful that you keep committing to your growth, your development, and your learning.
0:27
And today's guest doesn't really need an introduction.
0:31
I know that you're all aware watching his content everywhere from Facebook to Instagram to YouTube and many other platforms, LinkedIn included.
0:38
But today, I love the fact that we're not watching a keynote, we're not watching a Q&A, we're not watching a We're getting a moment to dive in on purpose with the one and only Gary V, serial entrepreneur, investor, five-times New York Times best-selling author, and the founder of VaynerMedia and VaynerX.
0:59
Gary, thank you for being here, man. Thank you, brother.
1:02
Well, actually I'm in your office, so It's all family. I appreciate it, man.
1:06
Thank you so much for doing this. No, thank you so much.
1:08
it's on everything on this. Thank you, man. Really well. Thank you.
1:10
I've really been looking forward to this because I've been in this office a few times. Yes.
1:15
And those meetings with you have always been memorable. Thank you.
1:16
And I say this to everyone, when I'm thinking about being an entrepreneur, when I'm thinking about working hard, the person's content I switch on to is yours. I appreciate that.
1:26
So for me, your content has been really powerful for me. Thank you.
1:29
And I don't think many people knew this when I first came in and I interviewed for Crushing It, which was so much fun, but that for me, I when I hear you speak, I feel very aligned with a lot of it.
1:40
And actually it's helped me gain conscious competence on what I already do.
1:43
So I think a lot of us have unconscious competence.
1:45
We're doing stuff right, but we don't even know we're doing it right.
1:48
And then when I listen to you, I'm like, oh, I do that.
1:51
Okay, I'm doing it right.
1:51
And that's been a really nice reaffirming belief, man.
1:54
You know what's It's to hear you say that? I do that for myself. Yes.
1:55
I'm such an intuitive executor Yes.
1:59
that I live through life where I go, "Wait a minute. I'm doing this."
2:06
And then I'm almost doing it for myself, which is why I think it's easy for me to do it for others. Yes.
2:10
A lot of, you know, it's even what me just saying that out loud made me realize, "Huh, that's similar to the things I talk about."
2:17
I am so uncomfortable to talk about anything that I haven't lived.
2:21
It's easy to share my opinions and thoughts and aspirations cuz they're completely predicated on actually doing it, not on hypothesis or ideology or things I've heard from others. It's a very safe place. Absolutely.
2:39
Yeah, and this is Yeah, I totally agree.
2:41
It's one of the reasons why I don't have any advice on parenting.
2:42
Like I always get advice asked questions on parenting when I'm on panels or whatever, and I'm like, "I'm not a parent yet."
2:47
So, my opinions are there.
2:50
I I'd love to ask you a question. It's funny.
2:51
I've been that way for a long time, and then I started thinking about the great coaches. Mhm.
2:55
You know, there's some there's some all-time great athletic coaches who've never played the sport. Mhm.
3:00
And I always think about that, which is, you know, I am now a parent, but I can tell you that a lot of my opinions on parenting have become true because I was actually able to synthesize it from the perspective of the child. Sure.
3:15
So, I've been parented Yes.
3:17
which gives me quite a bit of a perspective. Absolutely.
3:19
That's something you may want to, you know, I also intuitively through our you know, a couple of our business meetings and some of our dinners, like I do think naturally we do align in a lot of ways, though we manifest our energies outwardly differently.
3:32
I think that um one thing for you to debate is what in the way that you were parented has created you Mhm. Mhm.
3:40
and what does that then mean is I think that I think that's something we need to I actually think that I am consumer-centric, which is why I'm a great salesperson.
3:49
I don't think about me trying to sell this basketball card.
3:53
I think about why would Jason want this basketball card? Absolutely.
3:56
I actually think that most of my parenting hot takes come from the perspective of the child, not the parent.
4:02
It's being the consumer of instead of the pontificator of. So, I don't know.
4:08
I actually think that children should be speaking more.
4:10
As we get older, as a 44-year-old, our parenting advice should be predicated on tapping into who we were as children, not who we're parenting today because a lot of the shortcomings of parenting is the opinions of other parents and teachers, not staying in a silo.
4:26
But, when you think of yourself as a child, you can only take the context of what your parents did in your perception at this point, right, wrong, or indifferent. Yeah, I like that.
4:37
No, I agree, and I think it's a part of it is just and I think you match this, and that's what I'm trying to do is if I am advising on something that I haven't done yet, it's balanced with humility, right?
4:46
Like it's coming from a place of Your You're more obvious with your humility than I am.
4:53
One of the reasons 25% of people, or whatever the number is, at first struggle with me, or as you've navigated through life, maybe you've been surprised at times like, "Oh, you don't like Gary?"
5:01
It's because my your energy as a communicator, the humility is extremely obvious, and that's why the audience loves you so much.
5:09
Ironically, humility is why my audience loves me so much, except there's a veneer of a competitive alpha cursing Jersey kid that doesn't necessarily immediately become obvious, Yes.
5:22
which allows a certain amount of judgement and and not misunderstanding because I am who I am, and so I don't judge others for that, but yes, I think that people see my humility tend if they dig in a little bit. Yes.
5:35
You are much more obvious, though it is absolutely our connective tissue on palpableness.
5:39
Um that yes, we do have some natural talents and life experiences, but there is an inherent understanding uh that we share on that.
5:48
I'm absolutely convinced that my humility is a deep foundational aspect to my success and I do not believe that most people actually see that at first with me.
5:59
Yeah, I know a lot of people would just say that when you're saying that about yourself it's like Oh well, yeah, it's easy to say but you're right.
6:07
Someone needs to dig in, right? You need to dig in.
6:08
You need to get stuck into someone's life to really know what they're for.
6:11
And when you ask me about that parenting point, the first thing that came to my mind is my parents never really got excited about metrics or achievements for me and I love that because it pushed me further.
6:21
So we didn't really celebrate every win.
6:23
Like if I got a first class degree, which I did, my parents weren't like shouting out the rooftops of it.
6:28
It was like well what's next?
6:29
And so for me my mindset's always In a healthy way. In a healthy way.
6:33
Not in like a No, but it's a The reason I jumped in is like people here, you know, like I even got goosebumps.
6:37
Like I can hear a lot of people now hearing that and saying oh that's a lot of [ __ ] pressure.
6:40
Like I don't smell the roses either.
6:42
I've never celebrated [ __ ] In a healthy way.
6:48
It doesn't it it it's like this balancing act of like that's awesome but I'm not going to let that achievement make me be a dick face.
6:54
At the same token, if I never achieve another thing, that's okay.
6:58
It's the opportunity to try to achieve the next thing that is exciting, not the judgment of if I do from others. Absolutely. Absolutely.
7:06
And I think we have that challenge where you either get cocky or complacent. Right?
7:13
When something goes your way, you kind of go either way and it's like you either let compliments get to your head or you let criticism get to your heart.
7:19
And I feel like if you're really good at letting compliments get to your head, you're more likely to let criticism get to your heart.
7:24
You know, it's the same thing I always say which is like I can't hear anything, right? I don't hear the boos. I don't hear the cheers.
7:28
I talk a lot about why people aren't capable of producing content to the world which is now the requirement as a human to achieve happiness.
7:36
I genuinely believe that.
7:38
I believe taking advantage of all of our abilities to reach out to the world through these new channels with no friction is an enormous gift and opportunity.
7:48
The reason most can't achieve it is because they're unable to take back the inevitable feedback that immediately comes with the opportunity. Mhm.
7:56
To your point, I genuinely believe the reason I can take the feedback is because when I go into my Instagram post that I just posted, literally in back-to-back content comments, excuse me, one will say that I'm walking on water and the next will say that I'm a snake oil salesman charlatan.
8:11
The fact that neither penetrate my psyche is absolutely where I'm at. Mhm. Absolutely.
8:17
And that's equanimity, right? Like that is that.
8:19
Whatever you want to call it, It's the game because people want the positive reinforcement that uh you know, there's so many models on Instagram, right? Men and women. You're so beautiful. You look so great. You're so beautiful. You look so great.
8:29
You're full of [ __ ] You look fake.
8:31
They're crushed because they take too much in that you look so great. Yes.
8:34
And I think And I think that's the point that we're hitting on here, which I love, is that that overemphasis on positive is what makes the negative so hard to take.
8:44
It's also an incredible place for me to add some clarity that I haven't done a good job on historically, which is something I'm thinking a lot more about.
8:51
Ragav, it's fun to see you here because we had this call yesterday.
8:52
I'm like, "Look, I'm at my worst when I'm excited in an interview and I'm and I'm drilling a headline." Because I love doing it. It's fun. It's showmanship.
9:00
It's wrestling promo videos. It's my natural state.
9:03
You know, I talk a lot about not giving a [ __ ] about other people's opinions.
9:08
The It's also because I take the complete opposite approach, which is every negative piece of feedback that I get, I genuinely go into two places.
9:13
A, I deploy sympathy and empathy for the person leaving the comment because inevitably, immediately on that action, I know that they're not in a good place.
9:23
If you go to somebody else's social, consume it, and then spew hate, you're not in a [ __ ] You're not in a good place. No, absolutely. You're You're unhappy. Yeah.
9:30
Next, I start trying to see the insight to any truth in it. Mhm.
9:36
You know, the second that you're high on your own supply, you're vulnerable. Yes.
9:40
And so, I don't I don't give a [ __ ] about anybody's opinion.
9:42
Ironically, I value everybody's opinion.
9:45
I just synthesize it and then decide to take the good from it. Yes.
9:50
By deploying empathy and sympathy to the deliveral of the I'm stunned by our lack of conversation in society right now on this part.
9:59
There's a lot of judgment and hot takes and comments.
10:02
We need to judge the person delivering the message. Absolutely.
10:07
Like Like how is your mother's opinion of you have the same weight as anonymous 54's comment on Instagram? Yeah. That is ludicrous. Absolutely.
10:16
In the same way of how does a co-worker's opinion you have to factor that in different than your mother cuz your mother blindly thinks you're the best at if if you're lucky enough to have that mother, you know? And so, it's super fast.
10:28
It's It's It's just pulling from opposite directions and I think, you know, I'm pulling so hard from opposite directions that my balance is coming in that. Yeah, no, I get that.
10:40
And I love breaking that down into what I call the four C's of trust.
10:42
It's like what are you trusting or judging people of?
10:45
Competence, care, character, or consistency. Right?
10:48
And these are the four things that you can judge someone of.
10:51
Like you're judging someone of their competency, but don't remember that that person may be competent, they may not care about you.
10:55
you a question quickly about your opinions? Yeah.
10:56
So, I hear that, which makes a lot of sense to me. Mhm.
11:01
I It was funny where my heart went and my brain.
11:04
I am stunned by how almost binary my judgment is completely predicated on intent. Mhm.
11:14
If you If I believe your intent was to be there for me, Mhm.
11:20
but your actions were not that you were consistent, I'm completely unbothered and I don't know what that means, but I'm super [ __ ] grateful that I have it.
11:28
Yeah, but that's an art and a skill that you have and I'd like to think I have the same where I'm I'm able to do that too. I'm able to let go.
11:35
What is the What is the concept of not having expectations? From your perspective.
11:40
Because I would tell you that that may be my great superpower. Yeah.
11:44
You know, somebody said to me, Tom Bilyeu on my podcast said to me, "Gary, your superpower is your ability not to judge yourself."
11:49
And I've been saying it a lot, and then literally on a flight this week, I was like, right, cuz I don't judge others. Yes.
11:54
Like, I'm able to not judge myself cuz I don't judge others.
11:58
A lot of people who are like A lot of Right?
12:00
So, tell me I don't know. I'm just I love that.
12:02
That's such a great point.
12:04
How do you feel about that? a great point.
12:05
No, you're you're spot-on because the reason why we have we judge others is because we judge ourselves, right?
12:11
The opposite of what you're saying.
12:12
And so, for me, it's the same thing.
12:14
The reason why I don't expect is because I see everything as my responsibility. Yep.
12:17
I see everything as my work, and I see everything else as a bonus. Yes.
12:20
Like, it's just amazing that anyone even cares about me or has time for me or makes an effort to do something or connect with or something whatever it is.
12:28
And that's just a beautiful bonus of life.
12:29
But I've got to be in charge of it, and I think that just came from many years of having expectations.
12:35
I think that came from times when I did expect and I didn't get, and I realized I don't want to feel this way anymore.
12:42
Like, I don't want to experience this anymore.
12:43
This doesn't make any sense.
12:45
And I think for a lot of people, we do start our lives expecting certain things, whether it's from a relationship, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, or whatever it is.
12:51
And then we have to deconstruct that. gets into parenting.
12:53
You know, this is the framework of what our parents are creating for us.
12:57
We're One of the most interesting things that are happening in a lot of modern societies is we have had disproportionate prosperity over five, six, seven decades.
13:05
America has had a clean run.
13:10
I mean, we've had a couple of recessions here and there.
13:12
We've had a couple of internal con- country scandals.
13:15
We have underlining issues of sexism and racism and things of that nature.
13:18
But in its most macro, this has been the empire.
13:23
Things have been good, and what has happened is we've created unbelievable levels of entitlement. Mhm. Entitlement, yeah. Entitlement. Entitlement.
13:33
I can't stop thinking about it.
13:35
It is It's starting to consume me. Mhm.
13:37
That I never You know, it sounds crass like never expect anything from anyone. Mhm.
13:42
But but I almost want to find new ways to say it just to help people understand it is the great gift of life. Yeah.
13:50
When you get into a place where you have zero expectations and you actually don't believe you're entitled to anything, Mhm.
13:56
you can actually start doing things. Yes, absolutely.
13:58
Because otherwise that's what's paralyzing you.
13:59
Because you feel like somebody else is in control. Totally.
14:03
The man, the society, the government, the president, the not president, the governor, the mayor, the system, the the systematic infrastructure.
14:15
And really it's a crutch, right?
14:15
Like really it's just a crutch.
14:17
Like that's another way of saying it. it's an excuse.
14:21
At its best it's a lack of perspective. Yes. Yes.
14:24
Yeah, at the worst it's an excuse. Exactly.
14:25
It's just like it's another way of not having to do it.
14:29
I hate when people that are uh the opposite of that uh aren't sympathetic to that some people don't use it as an excuse.
14:37
There are absolutely people who use it as an excuse cuz they just don't want to do and they want to continue to be entitled, lazy, whatever one would want to deploy.
14:45
But but I hate when people go the other way and a lot of people think I can go that other way where it's like it's on you.
14:50
It's like no, it's it's a little more subtle than that.
14:51
There are people that just don't have that perspective and that's why talking about it in moments like this lead to Look, when I do a podcast like this knowing that you have such a thoughtful audience, I come on knowing we overlap in a lot of places.
15:04
All I've been thinking about for the first 10 minutes and all I'll think about for the rest of this talk is can I bring one person value?
15:11
Can I add an adjective, a sentence, a saying the same thing in a different way than Jay or somebody else says that helps Karen who's listening to this right now on her treadmill, like actually do something.
15:22
There there's nothing more intoxicating than when you're a communicator, than getting the feedback loop of somebody saying, "You said something, I did something, I'm happier now." End of story. Yeah, absolutely.
15:35
And whether you're listening to or watching this right now, whether you're on a treadmill, whether you're commuting to or from work, whether you're walking your dog right now, I want to make want you to make sure also that you're listening for that.
15:44
Like I just want to prepare the audience, everyone who's listening and watching right now, make sure you're listening for that, to find that in this podcast.
15:52
Well, let me say this as an outside observer.
15:53
If you're listening to Jay's podcast, from my standpoint, you're you're you have a level of curiosity or subconscious understanding that there's a tweak or two that can really change the game.
16:05
That already puts you in an incredible place.
16:08
And when I think about individuals that I admire that are onto it, like yourself, and I'd like to think me, in you and me being different, listen, there's a significant not significant There's a There's a chunk of the audience right now that genuinely doesn't like me, that likes you because of the cuz I watch, I read everything. I know that. And I And I love you.
16:26
And I think But here's where I'm going.
16:28
My big thing is what I think we need to have more optimism and positivity in the ecosystem.
16:34
When we're lucky enough, here's my point of view.
16:36
There are people who are going to be attracted to my message style more than yours and vice versa, and we need to start thinking in an in Avengers talk. Yes, yes, yes.
16:48
I'm very grateful that I was an immigrant, came in through a rugged Russian DNA structure, grew up in Jersey, was a terrible student, didn't understand high society, high education, know anything, because what ended up happening is at its melting us down, we're the same. Mhm.
17:09
Adding the layers allows a 46-year-old born in Jersey to a shitty situation, [ __ ] everybody, [ __ ] the social left, [ __ ] everybody. They're attracted to me.
17:25
Yet, what I'm pitching in disguise is empathy, kindness, gratitude.
17:30
So, I'm getting far more DMs from people that say things like, "A year ago, I was addicted to drugs, striking my woman, thought you were cool, you were going to make me money.
17:43
I don't know what you did to me, but over the last year, I've reconciled that relationship, I've gotten help, I'm selling stuff on eBay, I've gotten this better job, my relationship with my dad has changed, I confronted my mother."
17:57
The reality is, you could never do that for that person.
18:02
On the flip side, you're doing something for somebody who sees me in Instagram explore, likes the title, clicks it, and in 8 seconds says, "Fuck this guy.
18:11
This guy's a piece of [ __ ] What how conceited like ego."
18:14
And they're out, and they're never coming back.
18:20
When I think about that today, I think it's unbelievably important and one of the things I I'm so happy about, we've never talked about this, but it you know, just kind of came to me here.
18:27
I'm so happy that we have this admiration for each other because I actually believe that there's too many people that are doing good in the world right now, but because of the veneer of how they're doing it, other good people are judging them to not do it their way, and we're destroying the upside. Yes. Yeah, 100%.
18:45
I'll give you a perfect example of how it happened on the podcast.
18:49
So, a couple of podcasts ago, I had Chelsea Handler on the podcast.
18:50
And a lot of people were like, "Jay, how can you have Chelsea on?" Right?
18:54
Like, "Chelsea's negative and she talks about celebrity gossip and all of this stuff."
18:59
And I met Chelsea at a Wisdom 2.
18:59
0 conference where we were both speaking about mindfulness.
19:03
And I was there and I saw Chelsea and she spoke about mindfulness and she sat through everyone else's presentations.
19:08
So, she was there for real, she was present.
19:09
And we connected afterwards and I realized that meditation has been a huge part of her life.
19:13
And so, I wanted to have her on because that's what her new book's about, and that's what we were discussing.
19:18
And and the judgment was so high of like, "Jay, how can you sit down?"
19:21
I was just like, "Wait a minute.
19:22
If I consider myself a kind, good, empathetic human being, if I can't display that to absolutely everyone to understand them from a different perspective, then I can't be a good, kind, or empathetic human being."
19:35
And so, sometimes Jay, that almost not almost everybody doesn't know everything Totally. about everybody. Oh, of course.
19:44
I mean, we the the the the eliminate me going through a process over the last half decade of curtailing my judgment.
19:50
I didn't start with a whole lot. Mhm.
19:55
But, whatever I started at to where I am now compared to 36 months ago has put me into a stronger position that I've never could have imagined and makes me excited for the next 50 years of my life. I'm just done.
20:08
Now, if there's something that is obviously black and white done, you know, like it doesn't mean that nobody can do no wrong.
20:17
But, boy, we are in hot take judgment land. Yeah. They don't know Chelsea. Yeah. I don't know anything. Yeah.
20:24
Like like they don't know. No. No. And we don't see it. And I just don't know. I don't know.
20:29
Like I I think people here, you know, like I don't know. Yeah.
20:32
And I I actually wanted to do this analysis, and you've just given me this thought right now. me real quick.
20:36
Somebody judging somebody for doing celebrity judgment when they're judging that celebrity in the output is the most hypocritical thing I've ever heard of all time.
20:46
Yeah, but this is the That's literally what they're doing to you in the comment section.
20:48
They're mad at her doing. Yeah.
20:49
This is the age of calling out hypocrisy, though, right?
20:53
Like that's like that's so huge. Oh, boy. Like it's so huge.
20:55
But, you you've just given me an idea because when I listen to you, and I think this is I would love to do, and I don't know if your team's doing it.
21:01
So, one of you guys, Raghav, or whoever else is in the room, please try this out.
21:03
I'd love for someone on Gary's team to do a search on how many times Gary uses the word gratitude or positivity or or humility versus even a cuss word that he gets said that he says too many of. We have it. Awesome. Great.
21:18
Yeah, I want to see it because when I listen to you when I listen to you and this is what I feel we have to look beyond and I think what we're encouraging people to do, I hear the words optimism, positivity, humility.
21:32
Uh the other one that I said, what did I say? Gratitude. Gratitude.
21:34
I see I hear gratitude more than anything.
21:35
Like every time I turn you on, all I ever hear is gratitude.
21:39
And so for me that's what I even better?
21:42
And I love you for that and we'll see what literally it looks like.
21:46
What I'm real why I love you and other people I admire, why I love hip-hop as a genre Me, too.
21:51
How about the fact of what about not taking it literally? Yes.
21:54
So, like what I know is before I got mature enough to start because I had a bad vocab cuz I was a poor student, before I got myself to understanding, how about the fact that I am my team I'm looking at my team right now.
22:08
How about the fact that I'm even using the word sympathy now where I never even said it once because I'm starting to understand slightly at least the world's interpretation of sympathy versus empathy because I used empathy sometimes when I meant sympathy. You know, I'm evolving.
22:23
But like like but how about go watch the first thousand episodes of Wine Library TV. I'm doing a wine show. Yeah.
22:29
I'm never saying gratitude or empathy or kindness.
22:35
But if you watch it Kindness.
22:37
I'm saying kindness and empathy and gratitude and positivity and optimism. Yeah. Yeah.
22:45
That's you know, to me that's what I'm trying to in the reverse, too.
22:47
I see a lot of people that everybody puts on a pedestal in society cuz they're saying the right things, but I'm seeing something different which is not as pretty. Right.
22:57
think that we need to get into a thoughtfulness conversation as a society of back to intent. Absolutely. People are so literal. Yes.
23:07
And like to me what I know literally to the day both one of us dies, there's nothing you're going to do that's going to upset me because I've already got enough data binarily on what you're about. The end. Yeah.
23:18
You know, I have the advantage of also being in the business world.
23:22
Like for everybody listening, let me let me say I'm about to give you a compliment that I've no clue of how you're going to take this.
23:29
I'm just enjoying watching from afar cuz I'm in the trenches of your thoughtfulness of how you're thinking about your professional career.
23:37
How are you thinking about what partners are you going to work with?
23:39
You know, people are pitching you.
23:40
Like, you know, this is my world, right?
23:42
So, like even just watching from afar without details of all the different parties, some reaching out to me, like, "Hey, can you put in a good word?
23:49
We want to sign him for a tour, for a book series, for like like just the thoughtfulness that you're putting in, you know, it just reminds me a lot of me and this may be me complimenting myself.
24:00
But no, listen, there's not a lot of people Listen, I will say this, Jay, in comparison to a lot of people that look like us, guys, gals, different people in society, I believe most people are not thoughtful.
24:10
And they're kind of into short-term KPIs, whether it's dollars or fame or followers or just checking the box.
24:18
And I think you've you're deploying currently one of the more thoughtful executions. I admire that. Well, thank you, man.
24:24
I think it's a big part of it is our value for patience. 100%.
24:27
And for me way, a word that's going to come up in here. I know. I know.
24:30
I know it's going to be in there.
24:30
That's what I brought it up.
24:31
Tell me about something I I've been wanting to ask you this because I I consume everything you put out.
24:36
So, for me it's, you know, I have my mind's a human algorithm of what you're saying, too.
24:41
But I'd love to know what is it that you've been thinking about lately that you can't put into a 1-minute, 4-minute video because you're apprehensive about the fact that people are just going to run in and, you know, because you you need more context. What have you been What?
24:57
Did I not you that I don't want to write the article we need six more months.
24:59
This is the first time it [ __ ] happened.
25:00
I can't believe you just asked that.
25:01
Ronald, in the entire time, how many times have I ever told you no, not yet, it's not ready?
25:06
I don't think it's ever happened.
25:07
It happened yesterday for the first time. Oh, wow. It almost never happens.
25:10
Something I'm thinking a ton about which is a complete and utter pot-committed thesis of bottom-up everything. Okay.
25:19
Meaning test and learn, MVP. Mhm.
25:26
What how I see it is a complete and utter commitment to lack of fear. Mhm.
25:33
So, what we were talking about I'm in this mindset of like everything should be a pilot.
25:38
You know, you and I are thought God, this is so meta.
25:39
I just got done telling you how much I admire the fact that you're thoughtful and now I'm about to tell you that you and I should put out new stuff every day that has no thought against it as a data loop back to the thought.
25:55
Right, but therefore it's thoughtful. I think so.
25:57
Yeah, it's still thoughtful. This is I like you. I like you. That's exactly right.
25:59
In the macro, the most thoughtful one can do thoughtful thing that one can do right now in our society to take advantage of the internet is to not think about output. Put it out.
26:11
You know what I manifested into?
26:13
This is really back to like me living my dog food or eating my dog food.
26:18
Last night I put up my single worst performing Instagram post in the last 5 years, right?
26:24
It's called what if Wednesdays.
26:27
After the call of like saying, yes, we're going to tell the world in 6 months this kind of pot pot concept.
26:34
We're telling them now, obviously.
26:34
We've now made the commitment.
26:36
This is again me like completely contradiction of my own self.
26:39
I'm giving it to, you know, you right here.
26:43
You know, we need to be more creatively brave. Mhm.
26:45
We need to take advantage of the internet, the feedback loop.
26:50
I knew that the piece of content wasn't going to work.
26:52
I I'm creating this thing called What If Wednesdays and it's this idea that I love products, right?
26:58
Baseball cards, cereal, wine, sneakers.
27:01
So, we're going to every Wednesday we're going to post something on Instagram called What If Wednesdays.
27:03
What if I made this product?
27:05
The first one we posted was a former employee of mine, Tyler Babin, actually Bobby Babin who just went through this incredible thing at Adobe, just left our team.
27:15
In an episode of Daily Vee like a year and a half ago went really viral in my community.
27:18
I was in the elevator with him, we were joking, we put it on the it was in the vlog where I was like, let's make Bobby Babin beef jerky.
27:23
And it was like this whole ha ha ha thing.
27:25
Anyway, we posted it last night. We posted it.
27:29
It did a troll I I have never had a piece of content not get 10,000 likes.
27:34
Like just like unbelievably poor.
27:36
And I'm so happy cuz I'm living my truth, which is we now live in a world where people are so into growth hacking the algorithm.
27:43
You know, I think it's something that you're going to go through because I watch you and I'm like, okay, that's working for him. Mhm.
27:50
He I hope he uh I can't wait for him to get to a place where he realizes that's great, but I need to be saying what I want to be saying, not what I know will work. Yeah.
27:59
And I call it mains and sides.
27:59
So, for me it's like I've always got my main course. Same thing.
28:04
And then I've got my sides and I'm switching them all the time. it the same thing. I call it side dishes.
28:07
I've called it Navy Seals to the Army.
28:11
I call it 85% core, 15% play.
28:14
I've said to everyone, do not have one Like I've always said to people, if I had seven formats that worked for me, I'd have seven videos and I'd keep re- marketing and growing I'm in the beginning process of putting myself in a position. I wanted to do Q&A.
28:27
I started a show called the AskGaryVee Show.
28:29
I wrote a book called AskGaryVee.
28:30
And now I'm able to do keynotes where it's 30-minute keynote, 30-minute Q&A cuz I know I'm at my best with Q&A cuz I can show my expertise, not my showmanship, right?
28:42
So, I know that I'm in the beginning stages of putting myself into a place because something I've discovered about myself that I had no clue, and I mean no clue, I'm dramatically more creative than I realized.
28:52
And I'm about to put myself into a place to be creative on a daily basis, to taste in an acceptance way as a side dish instead of a theory. Yeah, 100%. I love that, man. That's awesome.
29:05
One One thing I've been trying to figure out with you as well, and which I think is such a a thing that you balance so well, you can call it a superpower if you like, is your ability, we talked about this earlier and sparked it now, your ability to not judge yourself, but to hold yourself accountable. Mhm.
29:21
And I think that that is such a scary thing for people, because a lot of us don't judge ourselves and then we don't do anything.
29:26
Or lots of us so accountable to ourselves that we don't give us space to do what you just said you do now. I I Please. Yeah, no, no, no.
29:33
So, what I'm just saying is the action you just took yesterday shows the balance of the two.
29:38
It's also It's just Yes, and this is gets into confidence, not ego.
29:40
It's gets into loving yourself and not being delusional. Look what I just did.
29:46
It's also I literally told him for the first time ever, I'm not ready to tell the world about that, and 12 [ __ ] hours later, I told the world about it.
29:56
That is remarkably intriguing to me.
29:59
And I'm just trying to find Look, this is actually fun platform to probably say this.
30:03
Another thing I know that I'm going to start talking a lot more about is how much I don't think I'm right. Mhm.
30:08
I just know I'm right for myself. Yes.
30:10
And I desperately want everybody to find what's right for themselves. Yeah. There is no right. 100%.
30:15
Like, you know, especially, you know, a lot of people try to throw hustle porn and all this stuff at me, and I'm devastated by it, because I'm like, [ __ ] Because I use the word hustle and because of my energy, I mean, my first book I outlined work 30 hours.
30:29
This is about one big game of happiness. Yet, people hear 7:00 p. m.
30:30
to 2:00 in the morning, people are using my name to build up their profile, and I'm like, [ __ ] I don't want this, right?
30:39
This would devastate me if there's any confusion.
30:42
And so, you know, I'm being very thoughtful because I have to respect it.
30:46
I have to respect that people, you know, even though I know they're using it to build up their profile.
30:51
And it makes me so sad that people are falling for it.
30:54
And it's like the reverse of like things that they make fun of or are mad at that's are happening in society.
30:59
I still have to be thoughtful about it.
31:03
Uh but yeah, I I you know, like The way I always took that from you was and and I say this often, too.
31:09
It's just like it's work ethic, right?
31:11
And there is no substitute for that.
31:13
When when I started using hustle and it became like it was just my version of work ethic. Work ethic.
31:18
Yeah, it was your language.
31:20
but but And and and there's truth in it.
31:22
I also am probably the single loudest voice in entrepreneurship telling people they're not entrepreneurs. Mhm.
31:28
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, right. Right, Jay?
31:31
Like like like like like I don't know.
31:33
Like back to hearing things and the way you reacted, this one hasn't necessarily been obvious to you yet, but I hope people hear it.
31:38
I'm [ __ ] I'm talking about self-awareness. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
31:41
Like I think it's incredible to be a number four. Mhm. I How about this?
31:45
I sometimes fantasize about being a number four.
31:51
You It sucks being a number one. Everything's my fault.
31:53
I met with two employees today.
31:54
I want to blame their managers, but I know it's my fault cuz I hired their managers. Yeah.
31:59
So Yeah, I mean it's It's lonely at the top.
32:02
It's a uh I I I think that one thing that I'm getting excited about is creating more context and clarity around my conviction Mhm.
32:13
and confidence in myself, which allows me to do what you just brought up. Mhm.
32:17
And now I want to start pushing it out in a way that allows people to do it for themselves. Here's my thing.
32:24
And I always say this to you, so I'm glad I was I When we first started this podcast, I was about to say it again cuz I actually believe it.
32:29
Uh but I was like, "Nah, I always say it."
32:31
And now I'm happy I'm about to say it.
32:34
You have crazy beautiful eyes.
32:38
Like The first time you said that to me was like I think it was the first time we met and it was like one of the most awkward things ever cuz I was like Yeah, for me it was like I did not expect that from Gary.
32:45
Like it was the last thing I expected from you.
32:48
you did nothing to make that happen. True.
32:51
I always say I can't take credit for them. I say that all the time.
32:52
I don't take credit for anything I am.
32:54
All my accolades, I'm like, my parents, Yeah. my circumstance, Yeah.
32:58
Ooh, Soviet Russia to America, ooh, the '80s, oh, Jersey, Oh, this Oh, some form of learning disability that made me shitty at school, like ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, right?
33:10
Uh you know, by the way, not being diagnosed with a learning disability, which then either I'm right or I'm wrong, but it doesn't matter.
33:16
I didn't have to deal with that pressure, especially in the '80s when it was a little bit more like scary than it is now. Like, what if I was? What if I did? Maybe I didn't.
33:23
Probably not because they would have caught me.
33:25
Like, you get into all these circumstances.
33:29
This is a big deal, though.
33:31
I'm sure that what I talk about is right for me because I'm incredibly in tune with myself and I'm an incredibly good communicator in a style that hits a certain group, which helps them get the insight to create affirmation, to create lack of fear, to try something, to start the process, to get to a happier place. Yeah.
33:50
That is a [ __ ] blessing. Yeah, 100%.
33:54
Now I want people to figure out that things are right for them based on their luck, uh circumstance, what's their beautiful eyes? Yeah.
34:01
Yes, maybe they're not an entrepreneur because they don't lack they don't have incredible lack of fear, but maybe that they are incredibly compassionate, unbelievably analytical, remarkably competitive, incredibly gorgeous, wonderfully funny.
34:19
Like, let's lean into what we're [ __ ] awesome about.
34:23
Everybody's spending all their time on what they suck at. Yeah.
34:26
Themselves they're doing that and I promise you everybody else is spending all their time telling you what you suck at. Yeah.
34:32
I'm spending all my time thinking about what I'm [ __ ] awesome at.
34:35
And I'm spending all my time trying to figure out what everybody else is awesome at.
34:38
Some of it's very obvious, like beautiful eyes.
34:40
Others are like, "Hey, you're a good [ __ ] kid. Keep listening to me."
34:46
You know, like that's what's going on.
34:47
But that's because of awareness of story.
34:49
It's like we're all so addicted to watching other people's stories that we don't have a high awareness of our story and what we're telling ourselves.
34:58
Like, what you just explained all your connections from your past, to your parenting, to school, you've created the story arc that fits you, that works for you.
35:06
Because you could tell yourself a different story about that.
35:09
But what also happens as you evolve into it, what people don't understand about getting to a place of being happy with yourself, it starts giving you foundation to address what you're not as good at. Yes, 100%.
35:17
Like I 20 years ago, I couldn't speak to First, I didn't know this about myself, but today I could speak to my lack of candor along the way is a shortcoming of mine as a manager.
35:27
And over the last 5 years, Vayner's in a healthier place because I realized in my lack of being interested in conflict, I would hold it to myself, but then I would pull the rug from underneath you when I would fire you without giving you context along the way.
35:41
Even though my thing was like, "Fuck, don't you realize how shitty you're doing?"
35:43
But no, that's not your responsibility.
35:45
You're in your own framework.
35:46
That's not something I could say out loud 10 years ago. Yes. But you can now.
35:51
100% Because when you dig in and deep down triple down on happiness, optimism, self-love, you get to a place where you get such into a good place that you can start putting your toe into your shortcomings. Yeah. I so agree. I so agree.
36:06
And we're doing it the other way around.
36:08
Majority of people are doing it the other way around.
36:11
You're not in love with yourself, so you're not in a place where you can talk about your vulnerabilities.
36:14
So what you do is you start calling out the vulnerabilities that you have in others. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.
36:19
And then and then it grows because the more you're meditating on other people's vulnerabilities, the more they even become yours.
36:27
I've seen that sometimes when you keep talking about and thinking about and fixating on someone else's, you start mirroring them.
36:33
know what I just realized?
36:33
I actually spend no time on judging people's shortcomings, only focusing on their strengths.
36:37
I don't even have the capacity or the room left. Yeah.
36:45
Rudolph doesn't get feedback from me because we're doing our thing and the feedback he got yesterday is, "You're ready for this, brother. I see it. You can do this, right?"
36:52
This is a [ __ ] meta [ __ ] This is real. This happened yesterday.
36:55
I haven't [ __ ] talked to him in 6 months. He's writing for me.
36:58
We're doing his thing and what he gets from me yesterday is, "You're ready for this. You could do better. Here's why. I see it."
37:03
And we can do better and that's and I start with it's on me and then it's [ __ ] amazing.
37:06
The [ __ ] You're right, it's optimism. Like why?
37:09
Everything else is pessimistic. Absolutely.
37:12
And one of the best things I love about that is when you're all in on your strengths, you appreciate other strengths, but it also limits your envy and jealousy. Right?
37:19
Like when you genuinely start You know? No, no, no. in a minute.
37:24
What I was about to say is it's the same I'm blown away by my inabilities on those two things. Mhm.
37:31
But I had to raise them because they're such big things. Let's go meta.
37:33
Do you know how pumped I am your podcast is ahead of mine?
37:37
Champagne, dead [ __ ] serious. that.
37:39
I swear on my [ __ ] children's health.
37:41
I go into the charts occasionally, you know, once every 2 weeks cuz I like to stay on top of [ __ ] and I look and I see you there and I'm like, "Motherfucker, good Those [ __ ] eyes." You know? But no, I mean it. It makes me happy. It makes me happy.
37:54
Because here's my big thing when it comes to things of that nature.
37:58
If you don't have that gear, then you're not respecting the game that's giving you life. Mhm.
38:02
If I can't be happy for people who are winning in entrepreneurship and content, then I'm [ __ ] on the game that's made me happy. Totally. 100%. I completely agree.
38:10
I completely in love with, you know, what I've been afforded to be able to do that I want everybody else who can do that too to be better at me if they can. Yeah.
38:21
And and the beauty I think for all of us who know that, for me the same thing back is this is an exchange.
38:29
It's love, it's support, right? Like we all know that.
38:31
Like I've seen this for years that collaboration has beat competition every time. And I know we know that.
38:38
there's also an abundance. Yeah. Yeah, there's so much.
38:41
There's so much for everyone. Yeah, 100%.
38:44
100% and I think we live we live in this world where it's like, oh if I do this then no one's going to follow Gary V. Which is not true.
38:51
No one goes I follow Gary I'm not going to follow Jay.
38:52
I will listen to Jay but I'm not going to listen to Gary's podcast.
38:55
I was a I was letting you talk cuz I'm trying to be more thoughtful about that.
38:58
I I I literally I'm feeling that on this one.
39:01
I I literally was thinking in my mind as we were segueing from last part, some of my favorite comments ever have been looking at my friends and seeing people write things that say verbatim, hey let's use you.
39:14
Hey Jay and I'm trying let me give you a real example.
39:16
Maybe Sid Weikman, somebody awesome. Yes, I know.
39:20
remember somebody leaving a comment when I was going to look at my friend to like give him some love, like double tap or leave something.
39:25
Literally the comment that was above me, like I was writing a comment was like, hey somebody I don't want to make it up.
39:30
Yeah, used to listen to Gary V but [ __ ] that.
39:32
Like you're so much better and the sheer happiness.
39:38
And it comes in a couple ways.
39:38
It's actually back to double sided coins.
39:39
A, abundance, love, positivity, collaboration. B, competition. Mhm.
39:48
You know, I was pumped for her and I was like, let me go back to the lab and make awesome [ __ ] You know, like you have to like if you can't respect the game that you're in more than what it brings to you, then I don't think you're an all time player.
40:00
And and I think you see that all the time and I and I know you've been getting into football recently, like real football. Yeah, it's proper. That's what I call it. Yeah, like soccer. Soccer, yeah.
40:06
And it's like for me and I know you've been getting and I look at that in Ronaldo and Messi who are compared and I'm like they just wouldn't be as great as they are if they didn't have each other. more. Right?
40:17
And that's where the fact that they can both exist in the same world way, somebody wins the game. Yes.
40:22
Like Liverpool won yes the other day. Like that happens.
40:26
And I think we need to be careful cuz we're being very foofie foofie here. Are we? In a good way. Go on.
40:32
Like we're talking about very positive like like I think people get confused.
40:35
If you back to don't take the words, listen to what we're saying here, we are saying that there's ramifications.
40:41
We are saying that there's winning and losing. We are. There is competition. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
40:49
But we're saying that without each other, they wouldn't feel that same fuel to keep going. Correct.
40:55
you choose whether you want that fuel to keep going or you're going to wallow in that fuel and then just drop.
40:59
Or my favorite part is do you even want to drive that car and that fuel anymore?
41:04
I when I tell you the great question in my life right now is will I wake up one day and go completely the other way?
41:09
I think it's actually possible. Mhm.
41:12
And I smile with that because I don't know and I can feel that I'm not forcing it.
41:17
Like like I would actually argue the other way.
41:21
Like I don't want to disappear.
41:23
But if you told me that at 62 I woke up, sold off everything and took a five-year run of sitting in a cave in Peru and then came back at 67, I would say to you like yeah, I I it's I can't I can never see myself doing drugs. Yes.
41:38
I can never see myself stealing money out of somebody's wallet. It's just impossible.
41:42
It's not in my framework.
41:44
I can see myself sitting in a cave in Peru for five years. hearing that. I love hearing that.
41:48
Well, because I don't think anybody would believe that about me except people that get really really really inside or look like you which is disproportionately have intuitive superpowers.
42:00
No, I really believe that about you.
42:01
when I was 18, if anyone ever told me that I'd one day live as a monk, I would have laughed at them and spat in their face. Yeah.
42:05
So when you said yeah, exactly.
42:07
So when you said that, I was like I literally was I joined social media in 2015. Yeah, I get it.
42:13
And and it's like I wasn't I never joined because I was a monk for 3 know this is this is a funny thing.
42:16
Back to I apologize, but this will bring value to a lot of people.
42:19
Uh This is a game of best, not first. Yeah.
42:25
People are always trying to be first on the next platform.
42:26
People ask me, "What's the next platform?"
42:27
Cuz they want to be first. Mhm.
42:28
They Like I was slow to Instagram in comparison to Twitter.
42:32
This is a game about best. Yeah.
42:34
And for me it's longevity. 100% tomorrow. for me as well.
42:37
Yeah, it's such a long game. Mhm.
42:40
And and and and it's I think so many people get this bad feedback, too.
42:41
And I've had a lot of friends hear this, "Hey, you realize you've only got a 3-year lifeline." That's stupid. Right?
42:46
I've heard so many people hear that and make the wrong decision.
42:50
that have never lived it. Yes.
42:50
From people that have never lived it.
42:52
Hey, you realize it's all happening this year.
42:54
By the way, real quick, cuz this is the second time it's come up.
42:55
If we get anything across in this episode, if you're like, please just pay attention to who's giving the advice.
43:03
People say things to me all the time like, "You've never built a business."
43:08
Gary, you should do this with VaynerMedia.
43:08
I'm like, "You're you're an inventor of fruit.
43:14
Like I'm not telling you what fruits to marry. Mhm.
43:16
Like like we have to have a better conversation.
43:22
If you have two parents that were entrepreneurs and you want to aspire to be one of the great professors of academia, they're you got to be thoughtful that they're giving you advice as entrepreneurs, vice versa.
43:33
Many of us listening right now had parents that grew up in the Industrial Revolution and get a safe job and the rise of unions and like da da da da da.
43:41
And if you're dying to be an entrepreneur because you always sold lemonade and pencils and this is the great year of entrepreneurship and you want to do it, your parents' advice has to be contextualized. Yes. They believe in safety. Yes.
43:54
And that's what I mean by that, looking at things from a care angle and a competence angle, right?
43:58
Like you're going to have people that they don't like my mom.
44:01
Like my mom does not care what I'm doing.
44:04
She cares about has her son slept? Has her son eaten?
44:06
And has her son taken care of his health?
44:09
Like that's what my mom cares about. Mine, too. care about any awards.
44:12
She doesn't care about the podcast. She doesn't care.
44:14
And and that's beautiful and I love that, but I have to take it for what it is.
44:18
That my mom cares about my mental and physical well-being. Yes. Right?
44:21
Like that's what she's an expert in. Yes. That's her expertise. That's her zone.
44:24
That's what I should listen to her for. Couldn't agree more. Yeah. I love that.
44:28
And and that's what I'm taking.
44:29
Contextualize the advice. Yeah.
44:31
And otherwise we argue with them.
44:32
Sometimes we're like, "Mom, you don't understand. I'm working so hard."
44:33
But it's like, "No, take that." Like she can't.
44:36
what you know what you're talking about right now that I've that has I just realized been subconsciously on my mind?
44:41
Another thing I'm thinking a lot about, which is like and you start it's amazing.
44:44
You started this podcast with it.
44:47
For a lot of nobody is for everybody, right? Yeah.
44:51
Nobody out there sharing is right for everybody. No one.
44:54
However, most people that are resonating with a large enough audience probably have something to add to you. Mhm. Mhm.
45:02
And that's something I've been thinking about. Okay.
45:06
Like how do what's the 13% of me that brings value to somebody on the other side who generally doesn't like me or like it right now?
45:14
What's the 5% value that somebody can bring me that I don't see value in right now? Yeah.
45:22
It's not binary and that might become a fun place to dig deeper into. Yeah, absolutely.
45:27
No, I think it is a fun thing and I think Go ahead. Oh, go on. No, go on. No, no. No.
45:33
This is us being super polite.
45:33
Uh The thing that I've seen also is that we're constantly in that space.
45:37
We take pressure from the room we're in.
45:39
So, if you're in a room full of investors, you walk out and go, "Crap, I need to invest." Right?
45:44
And if you're in a room full of Dalai Lamas, you'll be like, "Crap, I need to meditate." Right? Like that's my point.
45:50
Like and so you've got funny about that?
45:51
Tell me about this, Jay, cuz where I go in those scenarios is actually the other way. Yeah, but that's rare.
45:56
That's what I'm pointing out. Go on. No, no, nothing. Yeah.
45:58
Cuz you were talking, I was like, "Huh, it's so weird.
46:01
When I'm in a room of investors, I'm selling Dalai Lama.
46:03
When I'm in a room of Dalai Lamas, I'm selling investing." So, I get that. Yeah, I get that.
46:09
And I talk about And that's actually the MIT did an incredible study on this, where they looked at connected thinkers, people who were able to take advice from people who didn't know each other.
46:18
So, we're not living in echo chambers.
46:20
So, basically, if you wanted to launch something, let's say you wanted to launch a new app, you would take advice from Mark Zuckerberg and the Dalai Lama, because that would be fascinating for humanity.
46:29
you I'll tell you what's really interesting, cuz you're really getting me thinking here. Yeah.
46:31
I One of the things that is extremely at the tip of my tongue is my ability to also take advice from my friend Rob Moose, who's, you know, lives in Atlanta, or or a 9-year-old kid who hasn't lived life yet.
46:47
Like I really really associate actually more to the trenches than the experts. Yes.
46:58
You know, Dalai and Mark are cool. yeah, yeah, yeah.
47:00
But for me, it's like The user. The user. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Brother, it's all I got. Absolutely.
47:06
I actually struggle with taking advice from Mark I My shortcoming is not taking advice from the Dalai Lama, and sucks, and taking Susan Karetsky's hot take on the upset of the different value, right?
47:18
They all have different value.
47:20
Like it's it I I said the same thing.
47:22
When people are like, "How do you not run out of things to say in your content?"
47:24
I'm like, cuz I'm talking to people, right?
47:25
Like that's my number one answer, cuz I'm talking to people. I'm listening. I'm listening.
47:30
I'm listening to just people.
47:31
I just read comments, man. Yeah, same. I read comments.
47:34
The last 10 times I've gone to your Instagram, I've read comments and didn't watch what you put out. Yeah. That's real.
47:42
You want to talk about weird [ __ ] that I'm sure most people aren't thinking about?
47:44
That's That's an insight. There's a hot take.
47:46
There's something you might want to build on. Yeah, absolutely. No, 100%.
47:50
And that's for for me, it's like I'm having the conversation with a random person who's had a breakup.
47:53
I'm having the conversation with a random person who's trying to start a business.
47:57
Those random conversations are everything. Are everything.
47:59
Like that's the first thing that I bring into the world. we get to?
48:02
Let's do a little bit of a weird speed round.
48:03
Okay, that's that's what we're in.
48:05
We're at the end now anyway.
48:06
So, this is the final five we do at the end of every round.
48:07
So, this is our This is our speed round.
48:08
You already predicted Well, what about what about final seven?
48:12
What two things on the first part of the page or second I don't feel like we're going to do this many more times.
48:16
So, I want to push my limits. Well, we will. We will.
48:20
I'm just talking about like cool like once a year we'll get to jam heavy, you know, like Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. Absolutely.
48:25
Do you know what the funny thing is?
48:26
We went on to all of this stuff organically without me even touching on it. Love.
48:30
Something I really love about you Thank you. You're welcome.
48:32
Is I feel like I In the last year I've realized why I like Star Wars.
48:38
Star Wars was the only sci-fi thing I followed as a kid.
48:43
Uh and actually WWF wrestling. Right?
48:47
These wrestling figures, these Star Wars things that are in my room. And I finally get it.
48:52
They are very classic stories of good versus bad. Yeah.
48:58
I mean Star Wars is just like super high-level good versus bad. Totally. 100%.
49:01
But there's something that wrestling does and Star Wars does it.
49:05
I can't believe I'm breaking this down right now.
49:06
I just had my thought on this.
49:08
Wrestling has a very interesting thing where somebody good can become a bad guy and where somebody bad can become a good guy. Right? Yep.
49:16
It's a like I don't know how many people follow wrestling to love wrestling.
49:19
Macho Man Randy Savage was my favorite wrestler.
49:20
He was a bad guy when he came in, then he became a good guy. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
49:24
The dark side versus the force.
49:27
If you watch that series you know it's a very fine line. Mhm.
49:29
You can feel like at any moment like right?
49:33
You've got the established but like you kind of understand the core subject matter Darth Vader it's right there, right?
49:41
I believe that you and I sit in the world right now.
49:43
There's a lot of personalities.
49:46
There's a lot of people talking about good and I don't believe the majority of them are actually good. Mhm. And I think you are. Thank you, man.
49:55
And that's why I've always leaned in every time you reached out. Right? Yeah, thank you, man.
49:58
Do you see what I'm saying?
50:01
And how do you think about it?
50:03
Because it's something I'm strugg- I don't want to say struggling with cuz it's not true.
50:08
I'm concerned that if some of the people our society and really our genre, podcasters, Instagrammers, YouTubers, personal brands, authors, speakers, if we aren't thoughtful about some people that people are considering good, but actually they're not good, they're selling things for the sake of their own personal financial growth, that it's a dangerous precedent. Mhm.
50:36
And I feel a sense of responsibility as somebody who sees it.
50:38
At the same token, I'm I don't have the bandwidth to do the investigative reporting to cross the Ts and Is so that I'm completely definitive so that I can say, "Fuck you, Karen Thompson." Yeah.
50:51
In a world where everyone's like, "Where the [ __ ] did that come from?
50:52
Isn't Karen Thompson awesome?"
50:54
and being right at the end. Yeah.
50:59
Now that I just spewed all that, what what are your random thoughts about what I said? why that's so crazy?
51:03
Because I just had breakfast with someone that we both know, who I won't say on the podcast, I can tell you afterwards, who was telling me about just this. It's so crazy.
51:09
Like literally I that wasn't even at the front of my What was she or he saying?
51:12
They were saying that this exists, you should be wary of it, what's your take on it?
51:17
Like they literally Oh yeah, literally.
51:21
They were like, "This exists."
51:21
And I was like, "Wow, why did And they've done the investigating work."
51:23
Like they've gone they've gone deep into the research of it.
51:27
And because I was like I was also, you know, playing devil's advocate.
51:28
I was like, "Okay, look, how bad is it? What is it?"
51:31
You know, because we're optimistic and I want to I want to give people the benefit of the doubt.
51:34
My take on it is it's kind of like when companies started doing CSR or environmental work because they knew they had to. Right?
51:41
I can't believe you that's where you took it.
51:43
I'm unbelievably cynical to to businesses with purpose Yes.
51:48
when I look because when I sit down with the founder, I leave with you're a piece of [ __ ] because you're using a cause to create commerce. Totally.
51:58
And I see that all the time. I see that all the time.
52:01
It's in our world, brother. Yeah.
52:01
And and I think that what I look at and I think this is what you've done and this is what I really saw as powerful and luckily the people I spoke to in my life always emphasize this was community first, right?
52:11
It was always about community.
52:12
It was always about family.
52:14
It was always about people.
52:14
And I think that we need to be careful and I do agree with you.
52:18
The investigation is important because I don't want to go out and start accusing and making allegations because that's not cool because I would I'm not even I'm not even good at publicly [ __ ] on people who are clearly 100% wrong.
52:28
It's not my natural state.
52:30
So to do it without the investigation but it is hap it is I'm glad yeah, interesting.
52:35
Anyway, I just was curious about that because I do think you're in the min ironically in the minority of pure good and I think and that doesn't mean you don't build a business.
52:47
It doesn't mean you don't get paid to speak or write a book or do a 10 city tour.
52:53
There's just differences. Yeah.
52:53
And I and I think that comes back to intention. I think that's right.
52:58
It starts there and it ends there.
52:59
That's what it's all about.
53:00
to uncover a little bit more just because it's being insightful like I've actually done a couple things in my career where I've gone on people's platforms that I don't believe are good to sub to like weirdly try to suck them out. Yes. Oh, I love it.
53:13
I'm so glad you brought this up.
53:15
So every time I get invited by a one of multi-level marketing conference or an internet marketing conference or whatever you call online marketing conference, I go and I talk about this stuff. Me, too.
53:25
So I'll go on stage and they're expecting me to talk about social media strategy and how I get views and all of this stuff and I'll subtext my my two starting lines are I did not build any of this to build a brand or a business cuz I didn't.
53:35
I just made content cuz I wanted to help this is where you and I are so fun as compliments like a tag team.
53:39
I go and start with do not buy anybody's products in the back room at this conference.
53:46
And everyone's like, "What the [ __ ] just happened?"
53:47
And I'm like, "What happened is I don't [ __ ] believe in the [ __ ] That's like I I come and [ __ ] try to like destroy." Yeah, absolutely.
53:55
At conferences, on on on like interviews, I'm trying to be subtle because the person's interviewing you. Yeah.
54:01
So I'm like, all right, how do I stay in this How do I not get kicked out of this room while winking to the audience of like get the [ __ ] out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right.
54:08
Though I've stopped doing that a little bit because right now people are not thoughtful enough.
54:11
So you get direct attribution and I think that is a vulnerability.
54:15
So I say no to a lot of association.
54:16
And I think that's the big message that's coming out here is please dig deeper.
54:20
If you're listening or watching, whatever you're listening or watching, please dig a step deeper.
54:24
Don't Yeah, be thoughtful. Be thoughtful. Push beyond the obvious.
54:27
Just cuz For example, once I make a decision, like if I saw you on somebody's podcast that I'm like, "Ooh, that's a dirty person."
54:33
I would already assume that you're there to do that same thing which is to pull them out. And I appreciate that.
54:38
Yeah, we need to we need to Yeah, 100%. here.
54:41
Hold on, before we do the final five minutes. Awesome. Oh, this is great.
54:44
Jim, did you do an updated version? Perfect timing.
54:46
Is this an updated version or you couldn't find it?
54:47
All right, while there's dead air, I just want to say to everybody, I love you.
54:50
I hope everything is good.
54:51
Uh one random thing, like it's been really working in my community.
54:56
Uh just call somebody you haven't talked to in two years.
55:00
Just literally go to your phone right now, contacts, hit the letter C, the letter F.
55:04
You're going to see somebody from high school, somebody that you used to date and you're over it now.
55:09
Like just literally call somebody. Call, not text.
55:10
Call somebody and just say what's up.
55:13
I hope everything's good and like that's it.
55:14
Like even if you hang up after that, like get, you know, like exercise, like eating, getting into practice of optimism and positivity and good matters.
55:24
So randomly just call somebody and hit me up on social and let me know how it went. Like but this is crazy.
55:27
I do this once in a while in my world.
55:31
Like people have called their father, estranged father for 15 years, their best friend that they just both got busy and now they're like back and their families are friends. Like this is It's crazy. Anyway, Jim. Yeah.
55:43
So, um when we look through 200 episodes, the words that were most common most common verbs were know, think, go, want, make. All core. Action. Action.
55:55
And then when you looked at word pairings, like what words you combine together the most, love and work. Mean and well.
56:03
Give and [ __ ] Listen, I curse.
56:08
New new and world and play and book. Interesting. So, yeah.
56:15
Now, what about these ones? These top emotions?
56:17
I like Top emotions, right?
56:19
Yeah, so if you go from from top to bottom, it's love, laugh, funny, appreciate, respect, passion, scare, inspire, and curious. There you go. No.
56:29
Thank you for bringing this. Thank you. Yeah. Absolutely. No.
56:31
To your point, you intuitively are able to interpret this.
56:33
There's not a soul One more time on emotions?
56:35
Yeah, the emotions were the ones that were Yeah, one more time?
56:39
Yeah, emotions are love, laugh, funny, appreciate, respect, passion, scare, inspire, and curious.
56:45
If you If you If you pull a million people that have ever heard of me and dug in a little bit, nobody's even going to be This is where I'm complicated. Mhm.
56:58
This is why I'm attracted to people that are able to decipher it.
56:59
This is how he, Jim himself, got his job here trying to get a job at separately in VaynerX, but I wanted him on my team.
57:07
This is why I leaned into you.
57:09
If one is emotionally intelligent enough with natural talent to have figured me out, I know they're an incredible partner because I'm extremely difficult.
57:18
Because for all the people listening right now that kind of know me or heard of me or actually genuinely don't even love me that much, laugh, love.
57:26
Like that is not That is not what my That is not what happens with me when I go on stage or when I'm recorded.
57:33
What comes out is Macho Man Randy Savage promo videos.
57:36
What comes out is Chris Rock and Eddie Murphy.
57:39
What comes out is other things that influenced me in the way that I communicate when a camera is on me.
57:48
And you're still saying the same thing.
57:50
It's just the way it's being said. Totally.
57:52
And and that that's yeah. It's funny.
57:53
I don't know if you guys saw it I've seen this at all.
57:55
Lately out of nowhere I've been for the first time thoughtfully trying to tone down my energy and my speed in communicating not because of anything else out of pure curiosity.
58:07
Back to what we were talking about testing stuff.
58:09
It's been really fascinating.
58:11
Just a 10% off the pedal is just such a different thing in watching the audience consume it.
58:21
Now I'm going to still go 150 cuz it's just where my natural thing is and again when I go 140 I'm missing that person who needs 147 who almost nobody else right now can get to. Yeah.
58:31
And unfortunately the only people that can get to the person that's at 147 are the bad guys and gals. Yeah. Got it? Absolutely. Got it?
58:40
That's I have come to realize my place in this Avengers role is I'm going to have to eat judgement from people I admire to get through to people that are only getting influenced by bad because the other goods don't have that one gear that I have that cadence that style.
59:05
And I'm willing to deal with the ramifications to achieve the actual good goal. I love that man. It's a great note. I love that.
59:11
I'm not going to add anything to that. I love that. That's awesome.
59:14
This has been so much fun.
59:15
We're going to do We're going to do the final five cuz I want to do it.
59:18
The first question is I know which sucks cuz that last sentence there would have been such a great way to end the pod.
59:22
Everybody Everybody here is like [ __ ] that would have been a No we'll figure it out. Put the final five. Makes it even better. Go. We'll figure it out.
59:26
Yeah you'll make it better. Yeah. Okay. this [ __ ] Yeah. yeah, yeah, fine.
59:29
This is the which I love that you brought up the Avengers cuz that's how I look at life and I look at being a part of the Avengers.
59:36
So, which Avenger are you and why?
59:38
I've never watched Avengers. No, I didn't know that.
59:42
You know that was coming? I don't. No. Wow.
59:44
I know who I think you are.
59:48
The reason I this is getting super triple meta.
59:51
This is a very thoughtful podcast.
59:52
I think you Yeah, I love this. Yeah. I said it earlier.
59:54
I may not watch J content, but I read J comments. Yeah. Interesting.
1:00:01
I've not watched one Avengers film, but I know what people think about the Avengers and I understand the framework.
1:00:07
Okay, I love the Avengers. So, I know who you too. Who? Yeah, Robert Downey Jr. Iron Man. Really?
1:00:13
Sounds cool cuz I know a lot of he gets a lot of take.
1:00:14
I'd say it's probably Iron Man. What do you guys think? You guys work with him. Yeah, okay. Anyone else? And is he the leader?
1:00:22
And now Spider-Man Yeah, and he can rub people up the wrong way sometimes.
1:00:26
That's why I said like he has that ability like he will cast off Captain America and they'll go off and form their own tribe and then hate him for a bit, but then they come back in the end.
1:00:34
You know, it's that kind of you know, the ability to push people up push people the wrong way sometimes.
1:00:39
So, Spider-Man's the new leader now? Spider-Man, is he?
1:00:40
Yeah, that's what they're setting up. Really?
1:00:43
Oh, I didn't But he's setting it they're setting it up. Yeah. With this new film.
1:00:45
Anyway, nonetheless Yeah, anyway.
1:00:47
So, I'm glad I'm glad we got there and I'm I'm glad that you agreed and I want to hear what you think next. What do you think, Rob?
1:00:53
I think I'll go with you. Think about it. Think about it.
1:00:55
You tell me next time I see you. Yeah, think about it. Okay, second question.
1:00:58
You have a videos titled the dumb stuff you buy owns you. Yes. Which I love. Yes.
1:01:04
What is the dumbest thing you've ever bought? Great question.
1:01:09
Cuz we've all bought dumb stuff.
1:01:09
My my current apartment in New York City. Interesting.
1:01:14
It made me super not liquid.
1:01:14
Made me miss out on investing in Uber.
1:01:19
Um, you know, it's the dumbest in but it established my family in a neighborhood that I wanted to raise it.
1:01:26
So, it's obviously way better.
1:01:26
But, in the second level, you know, probably the dumbest thing that I've ever bought are the things that I didn't buy. Right. Right.
1:01:35
Like like a vacation that I should have taken, which would have been a fruitful use of time.
1:01:41
Uh, that's definitely it.
1:01:41
I You know, as I'm trying to be a little bit better in communicating regrets cuz I can't focus on them, but I want to talk about them because I don't want to make it seem like I'm not human. Yeah.
1:01:51
I could have done a lot more balance of leisure 14 to 30 because I worked every minute. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:01:58
Uh, I wish and and when you start with I wish, that is regret.
1:02:01
I wish I had five to 10 more memories in my 20s with my high school and college friends of going on those trips that everybody does.
1:02:08
Like, there's a very interesting clip of me where you can really see it manifest where I talk about like, "I'm not lucky."
1:02:15
Like, a bunch of kids when I first started blowing up from high school and college would hit me up and they're like, "Gary, you're so lucky."
1:02:21
And I was like, "Motherfucker, I'm not lucky."
1:02:22
When you went to the Jersey Shore every weekend, I worked my ass off.
1:02:25
It's not necessarily what I want to be talking about right now and I I'm trying to get the temperature of society, but it's a very big truth. Yeah.
1:02:32
Um, so, I would say that.
1:02:35
The dumbest things the dumbest thing I ever bought were the things that I ended up not buying. Love it. Awesome. Question number three.
1:02:42
What's the worst advice you're hearing out there right now that you want people to be more thoughtful about?
1:02:46
Uh, all of it because it lacks self-awareness, it lacks pushing people into self-awareness, and it lacks context. Mhm.
1:02:56
Anything All advice right now is a problem, including all of mine, bec- it's why I'm trying to make them make it about them.
1:03:04
Um, there's a lot of bad advice, brother. Mhm.
1:03:05
Like, if somebody watches me and gets fired up to start a business and they're a schlemazel and can't do a business, they're going down a path of depression. Yeah.
1:03:13
If if they're a if they're a competitive, ambitious person, but they also went to high society education and right now the push there is balance and like like hard work is bad and we become too much of Europe Europe.
1:03:27
I believe this by the way.
1:03:27
Like that's bad advice for somebody because they're going to be depressed because they lean too into current social, you know, political correctness and what they actually are is a dog and they just want to grind.
1:03:42
But right now grinding is bad. Yeah, absolutely.
1:03:44
All advice is bad if you haven't deployed enough love for yourself and self-awareness to understand what to pick off. Great advice.
1:03:51
Question number four, what's the one thing you're most proud of?
1:03:56
That I give more than I take. Love it.
1:03:58
And question number five, which I think is going to give you an opportunity to to end up how we just ended up the point before the final five is you talk about so much about the value of human life. Yes.
1:04:07
And how rare it is and how amazing it is, which I don't know if you know this, but it's like such a deep Vedic concept, which is like thousands of So Vedic is like the philosophy that I studied it. Okay.
1:04:16
It's like one of the oldest philosophies of mankind and one of the biggest principles in there is about the value of human life.
1:04:20
Like the the like the way I think about 400 trillion is what? Correct. Correct.
1:04:25
It's helped so many people by the way.
1:04:27
Out of all the pieces of content I've ever put out, something in it has penetrated How does one get to like you when you hear when I hear you say it, when I look at the way I was taught it, when I look at the monks that I know live it, when I know people that really live that, what was it that helped you really accept and live that? There we go. Okay. Nice.
1:04:44
It's my All I'm ever doing is trying to take empathy, gratitude, kindness, positivity, optimism and create repackaging for it in modern society to help somebody see it cuz life is one big game of perspective.
1:05:01
And if you've been raised by parents in an environment and have natural DNA that makes you look at something upside down, I've got to flip it.
1:05:06
And when I say I got to, I have this enormous love and need for admiration that I've come to realize. Mhm.
1:05:15
Admiration will not come in the form of me making the most money.
1:05:19
Admiration will not come in any other form than if I give so much more to you than I expect from you in return. Mhm.
1:05:23
I was gifted an ability of the gift of gab. I am creative.
1:05:29
I understand attention graphs. I have work ethic. I have aspirations.
1:05:34
All of that is created one big game where I feel responsibility to be able to get this message out in a way that won't get to people that can never become monks or that won't become disproportionately high educated philosophical.
1:05:51
I'm in the trenches with my style, but it's the same [ __ ] product.
1:05:57
And so, 400 trillion to one was one way for me to get people to be like, "Do you [ __ ] understand?"
1:06:07
There's nothing any of us in this room will accomplish that is even in the [ __ ] galaxy of that we have an a chance to do something. Yeah. I just don't understand.
1:06:14
What are you going to complain about today that is even remotely close to never having the ability to have a life? Like what?
1:06:23
What are you going to complain about?
1:06:24
Like what's so shitty in your life?
1:06:25
Like you've got the at bat.
1:06:27
Even if you're the worst ranked person, 7.
1:06:30
7 billion in the world, you're born to slavery and genocide in a fifth world country where you're raped every day, starved, slaved, lose your parents, no love.
1:06:45
The game of life actually still creates the rare potential for you to break out of that and go on to do something and then bring positivity to the world better than not being born at all. I believe that. Mhm.
1:06:58
And so that Love it, man. Mic drop. Thank you, Gary. Thank you. You're the best, man. Thank you. This is amazing.
1:07:07
Guys, we all knew that this is going to be an incredible podcast, but that just blew the roof off.
1:07:11
It was one of those It was such a revelation, and that's what I loved about this podcast, that it wasn't a Q&A, it wasn't a thought process, it was a revelation.
1:07:18
I felt like you were revealing things as you reflected and introspected, and more was brewing up.
1:07:24
Can I Can I say one last thing that I think might be funny?
1:07:27
Hearing you say that, what comes to mind is this is historically what I've done completely predicated on the respect I have for the other individual.
1:07:35
When I I've I've always been fascinated by a lot of people early on in my career is like, "You steamroll everybody."
1:07:42
I'm like, "Cuz cuz I don't respect them."
1:07:44
Or because I know what they're going to say, and I just have that ability to interrupt, which I'm trying to work on.
1:07:49
Uh you know, I revealed and wanted to go deeper because I respect you, and more importantly, your audience. Um so, I enjoyed it. Yeah.
1:07:56
And my admins are looking at me like crazy cuz everyone's freaking out.
1:07:59
So, let's get out of here. See you. Thank you, man. Thank you, bro. You're the best, man. That was amazing. Yeah, thank you, man.
1:08:04
If you want even more videos just like this one, click on the boxes over here.
1:08:09
And if you want to continue seeing these kind of stories, you can subscribe by clicking the link right here.