Former US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy: Is Technology Fuelling a Loneliness Epidemic?

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Welcome.

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It's an honor to have you on the show. Thank you so much.

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It's good to be with you.

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Let's start by defining loneliness.

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What does loneliness mean to you?

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Well, loneliness is a subjective feeling.

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It's the feeling that the connections we need in our life are greater than the ones we actually have.

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And in that gap, we experience loneliness.

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And it's in contrast to a objective measure of isolation, which is more measure of the number of people we have around us.

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This distinction's important though cuz you can be you know, in a situation where you're surrounded by lots of people, so you're not isolated.

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But if you don't necessarily feel connected to them, if you don't feel like they're people who understand you, who you can be yourself with, then you may feel profoundly lonely.

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And unfortunately, that's how many people in the world feel today.

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Give us a sense of the scale of it.

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That's that's the thing that really jumps out reading your book.

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I don't think many people grasp how serious but also just how widespread loneliness is.

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Yeah, it is shocking just how common a challenge this is.

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I think one of the reasons it's shocking is because we don't talk about it very often.

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So often we'll see people on the outside and think, "Oh, they seem like they're perfectly happy.

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They're posting pictures of parties and family vacations and their family just doing all kinds of day-to-day stuff together like having dinner together.

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They must not be lonely at all."

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But that can often obscure and hide the fact that many people are very quietly struggling with loneliness.

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Here's a scale of what we're dealing with.

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Across the world, according to recent World Health Organization report that a commission that I chair helped put out last June, there are about one in six people in the world who struggle with loneliness.

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That's a lot, one in six.

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But in certain countries, it can be even higher.

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If you look at the United States, for example, where I live, about one in three adults are struggling with loneliness.

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But if you look at young people, that number goes even higher.

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It's closer to one in two.

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So this is a real challenge especially in countries that have modernizing cultures which have a lot of benefits but unfortunately have also come at the expense of our connection to one another. That's fascinating.

2:04

You mentioned modern culture being kind of a strong correlation with loneliness.

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What do you think it is about modern culture in the modern world that is making us lonely?

2:15

You know, I I've thought about this a lot cuz I you know, I grew up you know, in one of these modern cultures.

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I grew up in the United States.

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And I I think it's actually a few things.

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I wish there was just one thing that factor that we could address.

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But here here's what's been happening.

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I think as time has progressed in recent decades, we've found ourselves one moving around more, often changing jobs more.

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And that comes with certain benefits, but it also means that we we tend to leave communities behind.

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We also in the last half century or so in the United States and many other countries, too, we've seen a decline in participation in the institutions that used to bring us together.

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So think about recreational leagues, service organizations, faith organizations.

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We know we see participation having declined in many of these organizations over time, which means that those forces that bring us together aren't nearly as strong.

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And then more recently, in the last few decades, we've seen the impact of technology on our lives.

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Again, a lot of benefits there, a lot of conveniences, efficiencies we've gained from technology.

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But what we've also seen is tech also means increasingly we can use services that require us not to see people.

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I can have my groceries delivered to my house.

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I can get virtually any product that I want delivered to my home as well by shopping online without having to go to a store or see people in transit to the store.

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But when it comes to social media in particular, that form of technology, we have found increasingly that there is more and more data pointing to the fact that it's had more harmful effects on us than we recognized especially in early years.

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And especially for young people, I worry that those effects have often led them to feel like their self-esteem is taking a hit as they're immersed in this culture of comparison online.

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They end up spending more time online than offline and that makes in-person interactions, as they often tell me, feel more awkward and harder.

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And ironically, even though you're virtually connected to other people, again, if you're in a performative environment, one where you don't feel like you can be yourself where a lot of it is about comparison, you're getting bullied and harassed online as too many young people are, then you can often feel actually less connected to people than you did even before.

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So all these forces together have led to us being more lonely and isolated.

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And again, the answer isn't to go back, you know, 75, 80 years into the past and discard all of the technology that we use now or the conveniences we've gained.

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But it's to ask ourselves, what's actually helping versus hurting us, especially in the technology that we're using.

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And how can we mitigate for some of the effects of disconnection by proactively building the social infrastructure that we need to create and support healthy relationships.

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We're going to talk quite a bit about technology and social media.

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We're going to do do a proper deep dive there.

4:56

But so is it fair to say that we've gained freedom as individuals to move around the world, to kind of pursue our choices, pursue our careers.

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But in that process, we've become somewhat unmoored from the communities that root us and the responsibilities we have to them.

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And so we've gained something but we've certainly lost something in that journey as well. I think that is true.

5:15

And in fact, if you look at many traditional cultures, many of them were based in this notion of a collective, right?

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Like they weren't again, traditional cultures, I'm not saying that they were perfect.

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But one thing that they had and my father and mother came from one of these cultures in India.

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And in fact, my father grew up in a very small village that had this very deep sense of connection.

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People looked after each other.

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They supported each other.

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They didn't have a whole lot.

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In fact, my father grew up in pretty dire poverty.

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But what people did is they shared what they had with each other.

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They looked out for each other's kids.

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And for example, when my father's mother died when he was 10 years old from tuberculosis, the village stepped in and became surrogate parents for him and his five siblings.

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So that was that was just what life was like in many of these societies. It wasn't always easy.

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There were some downsides, but folks felt a part of something and people looked out for each other.

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My father told me a very interesting thing.

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He said that he never as hard as his life was, he never really knew what it meant to be lonely until he left the village.

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And you know, he eventually made his way to England where my parents lived for 7 years.

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They lived in Canada for a couple years.

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Eventually moved to the United States.

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And he found beautiful, wonderful things about the community in all three countries.

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But he felt lonely in a way that he never had in his village.

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And I found that to be quite striking because what the folks there lacked in material possessions, they more than made up for in some ways in terms of their relationships.

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Let's talk about men and male relationships.

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So I think I'm right in saying that 27% of men only have six or more close friends.

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So a pretty small proportion of men in the US have have six or more close friends.

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And often, you know, the perception is that it's it's older people who struggle.

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But actually young men in particular are really suffering from loneliness.

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Why do you think that is?

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Well, I think culturally we've told men that there's a certain way to be a man and that it involves number one, being completely independent, which means you don't rely on anyone.

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That it also means being relatively stoic, which means you don't express your emotions, especially your pain.

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And the one circumstance where maybe it's okay to express some of that pain is in a romantic relationship, which not only is narrows, you know, who you can talk to but also puts a lot of pressure by the way like on that relationship.

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I think those are some factors.

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But I think the other thing that's happened to young men especially over the years is that I think in our education system, I think we find that there are a lot of young boys who are increasingly falling behind and who are tagged as having you know, emotional or behavioral challenges.

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And which often can lead them to even sort of even be further isolated in the system.

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And now what you have in terms of technology, not just social media, but you think about gaming, you think about other platforms that young boys are increasingly spending their time on, you have technology that's further isolating young men from each other. It's very interesting.

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I'll tell you about that I you know, I'll I'll give you an example of a story that I encounter all the time.

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I'll run into a couple in the airport or at an event.

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They'll tell me I ask them, "How are your kids doing?"

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And they'll say something like, "You know, my daughter's doing okay.

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She's you know, things have been tough, but she's working hard and she made her way and she graduated from college and she has a job.

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We're very excited about it.

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We're you know, she's met somebody who we really like as well.

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So you know, she's doing well overall.

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Oh, how's your son doing?

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Well, you know, our son, you know, he's funny in a way. He's struggling a bit.

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Um you know, he doesn't really have a job right now.

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He's he's staying with us until he finds his way.

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Honestly, he's spending a lot of time you know, just in the basement gaming and we don't quite know what to do about it.

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But we're hoping that you know, eventually that he'll find his way forward."

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And that is an incredibly common story that I hear from people of all walks of life.

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And I do think that right before our eyes, young men and boys are slipping into this profound profound set of challenges that's leading to not only more loneliness and isolation but to mental health challenges as well including depression and anxiety.

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And by the way, this issue of loneliness and isolation, this is not just a health issue, although it is a profound health issue.

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And on that note, like we have found that some of the research that I put together in the Surgeon General's report I issued in 2023, the people who struggle with this sense of social disconnection, they have a higher rate of depression and anxiety and suicide but also higher rates of heart disease and higher rates of dementia and premature death.

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So much so that the life-shortening impact of social disconnection is comparable to smoking and to obesity.

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But it's again, it's not just limited to health and as profound as those health effects are, but people who are socially disconnected, who are lonely, they also struggle with productivity in the workplace relative to folks who are not.

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It negatively impacts your educational outcomes and it contributes to the kind of division and polarization that we're seeing in the world today.

10:16

It seems like all roads lead to technology in many ways to this loneliness epidemic.

10:23

Do you think that technology has accentuated the problem or do you think technology is the cause of the problem?

10:29

Hearing you speak it sounds, you know, I I feel sorry for young men in their teens growing up today.

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There's such macro forces weighing on them that seems almost impossible that they would be able to overcome that and not be lonely.

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So I'm curious what you what you think about that.

10:41

I know Tommy has strong views on social media.

10:42

I'm I'm off Instagram, I'm off X and I'm very glad it wasn't it only emerged at the end of my teens, but yeah, what do you what do you think about that?

10:51

Well, Cameron and Tommy, I mean I I I'll tell you I feel the same way.

10:53

If I grew up today, I think I would be in a much worse place than growing up in the times that I did, you know, in the 1980s and and 90s.

11:04

And I think it's because the digital environment is profoundly different.

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I don't think technology is the sole cause of loneliness and isolation, but I think it is an important contributor.

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And I will also say somebody who's a believer in technology, you know, I spent 7 years building a technology company before I served in government.

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I'm a believer technology has the power to make our lives better.

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But it's whether it helps or hurts is determined by how we design it and that ultimately drives how we use it.

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And what I would love to see are a generation of technology entrepreneurs who are committed to using technology to strengthen and better humanity and that means to strengthen our connection to one another to help us build the skills we need to succeed in the world that helps us actually be more productive in the workplace and to to derive you know, joy from the things that we know reliably have given us joy over the years.

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You know, a sense of engagement in each other's lives, like meaningful relationships, a sense of purpose.

11:59

I think too often though what we see is technology that is doing the opposite of that.

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That's pulling us more and more into a world where our real life connections are being substituted for by online connections which are often of little quality, where the time that we would normally spend with other people or sleeping or being physically active or learning are instead consumed by time that's spent scrolling online.

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And the saddest part about this for me is when I talk to young people in particular about this, they are not oblivious to these negative effects.

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In fact, they are the ones who often would talk to me about this when I would go on the road.

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They're the ones who put this on my map in a way as a top priority because what they said is we want to get off of these devices and platforms, but it's really hard to.

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We feel like we're addicted to them.

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And they're not the only ones by the way and this isn't by accident.

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You know, the platforms are often designed, social media platforms specifically, to maximize how much time we spend on them.

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That's what the business model is based on.

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But again, that that comes at the expense of the health and well-being of users, that's too high a price to pay.

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pay. And that's why I think that we we got to if we don't change the direction that we're going in right now and we can talk about how to do that, I worry that we are going to take this natural experiment that we embarked on 20 years ago of unleashing social media on the

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population and we're going to continue to see negative effects which I think will be compounded in the age of artificial intelligence where we're now seeing AI chatbots and others which are accelerating this drive to replace human relationships with artificial ones. Yes,

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Yes, we we wanted to talk to you about about that about AI.

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Before we do that, Vivek, our our most watched episode on YouTube, until you, I'm sure I'm confident you'll outdo this, but the most watched one so far was Alain de Botton, the philosopher, talking about success and the meaning of life.

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And one of the quotes that really stuck with me from Alain was that the greatest challenge of a modern marriage is to be more interesting than your partner's smartphone.

14:03

And I think it speaks to this point you're making which is it's not just that technology is separating us from making new connections, but it's actually separating us from existing connections.

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I remember this very very poignant meme that that was circulating online a few years ago of a couple lying in bed with their backs turned to each other holding their phones, but the phones had been superimposed out and it just kind of made the point of how absurd it is the way that we don't talk to the people around us cuz we're stuck on our phone the whole time. How do we solve this?

14:29

What what is actually the the route to dealing with what everyone knows?

14:33

You're talking about the kids who say to you they wish they could get off their phones.

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Australia has banned social media for under 16s.

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Is that the really simple route we all need to go down?

14:43

Well, here's what I find hopeful.

14:43

I actually think this is a problem that we can solve.

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I don't think we're consigned to the fate that we find ourselves in today.

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But here are a few things that we're going to have to do and it's not going to be simple.

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Number one, we have to start by talking more openly about how social media and technology more broadly are impacting our lives.

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We actually don't talk about that nearly as often enough as we should and that leads to a sense of further isolation and shame.

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I see this particularly among parents who are struggling to manage social media in their kids' lives, but they feel like they're a failure cuz they don't know how to do it.

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But they often don't talk to other parents about it.

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So that's number one, conversation.

15:19

The second thing that we have to do is we have to create technology-free zones in our life.

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It doesn't mean we have to give up all technology 100% of the time.

15:28

What I am saying though is that we need to have some space in our life where we are focused on what is in present in front of us, each other, whether that is strangers, you know, if we're in a coffee shop, like you know, ourselves, just being able to listen to ourselves think and process, which we don't do really much anymore.

15:46

And so what are those tech-free zones?

15:48

Well, they could be, for example, meal times.

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When we decide that we're just going to focus on the people at the table and we're all going to put our devices away.

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This is a great thing for families to do.

15:57

Another way of creating tech-free zones is could be around bedtime.

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Saying, "Okay, an hour before bed, we're all going to charge our devices in the kitchen.

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We're going to go to bed and in the morning we're going to get them."

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And as crazy and countercultural as this seems, this is actually how we used to sleep.

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We used to sleep without the kind of constant distraction and disruption that we had which is better both for quantity and quality of sleep and the lack of both of those is actually impacting mental health as well as physical health.

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The third thing I think that we've got to do at a societal level is ask how we can both create more social infrastructure and those are programs and opportunities for people to actually connect and get together in real life as well as put in place more safety precautions and standards that will help protect people from some of the harmful effects of technology.

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And this is a one of the places where I think government has a role.

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You know, when cars rolled onto the scene you know, many decades ago and when we started seeing high levels of auto accident you know, auto accidents and related deaths, we could have just said, "Well, that's just the way life is.

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That's the price of modern technology."

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Or we could have said, "You know what, we're going back to horses and buggies."

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And we did we actually found a third path.

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We said, "We want to keep modern technology, in this case cars, but we want to make it safer."

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And in the United States and other countries around the world, we put in place safety standards that got us seat you know, so seat belts and airbags and crash testing and a host of other interventions that ultimately made cars safer.

17:22

But we actually have not done that at all with social media in the United States and other countries are trying to take steps forward.

17:31

What Australia has done, as you mentioned with banning social media for kids under 16, that I think is actually a very understandable and reasonable response in an environment where the platforms have no safety standards around them and the more data we get shows more evidence of harm.

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So I hope it we get to a place where we can actually have laws that require data transparency, require companies to demonstrate the safety of their products and subject themselves to public audits.

17:59

Until we get to a place where we can demonstrate safety though, in my opinion, these platforms are not necessarily not safe for kids to use and I do worry for many adults as well that the net effects are ultimately often harmful.

18:11

Do you wish that when you were surgeon general, either under Obama or Biden, do do you do you regret not pushing for a ban?

18:18

Well, actually when I was surgeon general under President Biden, I I did issue a report on social media's impact on youth mental health.

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I did say that social media was in fact not safe for adolescents and was supportive of efforts to restrict the use among adolescents.

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I said those publicly, I said those in my reports and the challenge though is that and even though we had actually at that time subsequently members of Congress who stepped forward to put forward bills, they ultimately never passed those into law.

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And so the lives of young people did not change.

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And that I is one of the things that I find most troubling is that, you know, there are a lot of things that legislators do each and every day.

19:01

You know, most of them are important, but what could be more important than protecting the well-being of our children?

19:07

the well-being of our children? And each day, you know, I either get messages or encounter young people and their parents who have been harmed by social media and in the face of that, I think the failure to put in place safety standards

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and meaningful restrictions you know, on use for adolescents, I think is a I think it's a black mark on many of our legislators and I think that unless we change that, I think we're sadly going to see more people hurt because of these technologies which have no proven safety record. So to

19:37

So to summarize, I guess four major things you think we need to do.

19:41

We have to have the conversation as a society, as as individuals about what social media is doing in particular.

19:46

Two, we need to take individual responsibility to have some tech-free zones as a family and as individuals.

19:53

Three, you think we do need to regulate in some ways.

19:55

And then four, you talk about kind of social infrastructure and and these solutions.

20:00

And I'd love to double click a bit more on what that infrastructure could look like and and what you think should be provided by the state versus, you know, obviously we're very interested in in entrepreneurs solving solutions at Giant.

20:10

That's what we do here day-to-day, particularly technology entrepreneurs.

20:13

So, you know, we we kind of I guess have a dual view.

20:15

I'm very curious as to what kind of solutions you think both the state and entrepreneurs can provide to this this problem of loneliness.

20:23

Well, one thing look, I think there's actually a lot we can do with our government here when it comes to building social infrastructure.

20:27

I think workplaces, for example, can think about how they can strengthen social connection in the workplace.

20:34

There are very simple low-cost ways of doing that.

20:36

In our office, for example, when I was in government, we used to once a week have a what we called our Humans of OSG, you know, exercise that was suited for Office of the Surgeon General.

20:45

But, we would bring our team together for our usual all-hands meeting and we would take 10 minutes during that time where we would ask one person of the team to interview the other about their life, about anything they wanted as long as it wasn't about their current job.

20:57

And what was very interesting is how much we learned at a human level about the folks that we were working with and we learned things about them, whether it was about hardships they had growing up or who their heroes were when they were kids or what they actually thought they were actually doing in terms of a career and the things that changed their life around.

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We learned things that we often had not understood even despite being with these folks for a year or more.

21:18

And so, we came to feel a lot closer to them.

21:23

It's a simple intervention we can make in the workplace and the school level as well.

21:26

We can make decisions to to to actually help build a social emotional learning tools that kids need into the curriculum as a number of schools are increasingly starting to do.

21:37

But, what that recognizes that you don't just come into the world knowing how to build friendships and maintain relationships, whether it's in the workplace or in your neighborhood.

21:44

We often need coaching and training on that.

21:47

A lot of kids aren't getting that at home.

21:48

And then finally, if you just think on a social basis about the kind of programs that we have that can bring us together, recreational programs.

21:56

Think about faith organizations and what they often do to bring congregants together to get to know each other, support each other.

22:01

If you think about other organizations like YMCAs and others which used to bring people together, you know, just for service activities or just to come to to get to know each other.

22:14

>> Why isn't that happening now, though?

22:15

Well, I think it's there are a couple of things.

22:17

I think one, a lot of these organizations have a lot of a lot of their their funding and support, but the demand has also gone down.

22:25

We're seeing participation in faith organizations has gone down and there are complicated reasons for that.

22:30

I think a lot of people have become distrustful of organized religion.

22:34

A lot of what's interesting is among young people, what's called spiritual hunger, desire for spiritual meaning in their life is actually quite high as reported on surveys, but they're not finding necessarily an institution through which to meet that need.

22:48

But, lastly I just want to say about entrepreneurs cuz this is very very important to me.

22:51

You know, I I spent a number of years building organizations, initially non-profit organizations, then a technology company coming out of government.

22:59

You know, I I felt one of the most important things that we that I could do in addition to continuing to tell the story of why this issue is so important and bring policy makers together to address it is I also wanted to support entrepreneurs in their efforts to use technology and other forms of innovation to create opportunities for us to connect more deeply.

23:17

It's one of the reasons I joined a venture fund, you know, as a partner in why now have ways to invest in entrepreneurs who are doing just that and and I think it's going to be really important cuz there are important roles for government to play here in helping to invest in in research, elevating the importance of these issues, passing laws to make tech safer.

23:33

But, ultimately I don't think this is a problem we can solve without the innovation and the ideas and the hard work of people on the ground and those include entrepreneurs, particularly in technology.

23:46

One more thing on technology that I'd love to ask you about before we come on to more solutions.

23:49

And this is more on the negative side of it, but we haven't touched much on AI yet and you mentioned briefly the influence of chatbots.

23:55

That strikes me as we're about to make this whole thing much worse and highly intelligent chatbots who are going to play back to people exactly what they want to hear and do it in a way that is perhaps much easier to deal with than real human beings.

24:11

It strikes me that we're setting ourselves up to go way deeper down the rabbit hole of people just confiding in their phone rather than their their friends and their family and other potential people they can speak to.

24:24

And and it's I guess the analogy is like, you know, potentially a very bad therapist who just tells you what you want to hear and makes you become, you know, more of a narcissist, more lonely, all the bad stuff.

24:33

How do we avoid that happening and and is that something that you're already starting to see?

24:39

We're already starting to see that.

24:39

I mean, you're flagging something that I'm deeply concerned about as well, which is that in some ways I don't know I think we have learned the lessons from social media that I hope we would have, which is we should have been really aggressive focus on figuring out how we use technology in ways that truly help us strengthen our relationships, our health and well-being.

24:58

And what what we're seeing with chatbots in particular is if you look at adolescents in the United States, nearly three-quarters of them have used an AI chatbot.

25:09

One in eight of those who do, by the way, do so because they say they have no one else that they can turn to for a conversation or to share their problems with.

25:18

Nearly half of young people who are using these chatbots say that they would trust the information that the chatbot shares with them, even though we have seen examples of where AI can hallucinate, sometimes can lead people down paths that are quite harmful and we've seen this with young people who have ended up going down the path of suicide after the chatbot actually not only encouraged, but supported them in that in in that terrible endeavor.

25:41

And it's it is really disturbing to see all of this like happening so rapidly.

25:47

The adoption of AI chatbots and AI tools more broadly is happening much more rapidly than what we saw with social media.

25:55

So, so there is real cause for concern here, which is again I think why investing in and supporting entrepreneurs in building technology that ultimately supports us, that helps provide people with the connect connection they need, but recognizes that technology that helps to bridge to offline connection is actually incredibly valuable and what we need more of.

26:15

Technology that doesn't seem to replace therapists entirely, but seems to complement them.

26:20

It doesn't seem to replace friendships, but seems to nudge us to interact more with our friends in meaningful ways.

26:26

Technology that actually provides almost a social coaching function, especially in age where so many people are feeling that their social muscle is weak, when some cases never really developed.

26:35

Those are really important and powerful uses of AI and that's what I'd like to see a lot more of. I love that.

26:41

That's a very human-centered design approach to AI.

26:45

Something that I find encouraging is that even when I look at the the the entrepreneurs that I encounter now, whether it's through, you know, our funding efforts through you know, through the VC firm or independently, folks who I meet at events and such, I'm actually finding that there are more entrepreneurs who want to do this. Oh, for sure.

27:02

>> Or asking that question, how can I use tech to make life better?

27:04

And I I I I knew this was the case because I met many of these entrepreneurs when I was in office and it's what I found to be hopeful and encouraging.

27:13

But, it's important I think all of us, whether we're angel investors, whether we're venture funds, whether, you know, we're governments giving grants, whether we're academic institutions trying to support our students, that we all encourage that spirit of entrepreneurship that supports humanity cuz I do think it's going to be an important part of what helps save us from our current dilemma. Absolutely.

27:31

I mean, our experience with the best entrepreneurs are all truly mission-driven and entrepreneurship is about solving problems and this is a huge problem.

27:39

So, I'm sure we'll see some great solutions.

27:40

But, one thing that I do think about, which I think will be a challenge, is that technology investing and technology entrepreneurship has been so successful and so financially rewarding in part because of the scale, in part because of the great margins, because it has removed humans from the loop in so many in so many instances.

27:59

And so, I think there will be um a gravity to fight against in in that dynamic where bringing humanity back into the loop may require sacrificing some sort of profit margins.

28:09

And so, you know, we had Andrew Yang on the podcast, the former presidential candidate, talking about how we have to figure out new ways to ascribe value to actions in society that don't necessarily drive financial value.

28:22

And I think it probably is going to have to be as holistic as that because otherwise I think the the kind of gravitational pull of classical venture models and technology and financial reward will be very very strong.

28:35

But, an incredible entrepreneur with conviction and mission and vision can always change the world and we we believe that strongly here at Giant. I couldn't agree more.

28:45

One more question for you on on how we solve this thing before we wrap up part one.

28:49

I thought it was very striking that you don't just talk about friendship and relationships as part of the solution here.

28:55

It's it's not that's not enough.

28:56

So, you also talk a lot about the need for community and for service.

28:58

And and both of those things you've mentioned have declined quite significantly.

29:03

The communities, whether it's faith communities or sports participation has declined and continues to decline.

29:09

And then volunteering and other acts of service are way down on their highs.

29:13

And those two things are basically bad for society, but also you're saying bad for loneliness. That's right.

29:21

You know, this this is something that was on my mind a lot when I was serving in office cuz I was seeing this pattern over my two terms, which is that many of the people that I encountered often felt this sense of emptiness inside.

29:35

They felt something was missing in their lives.

29:38

They often couldn't quite put their finger on it.

29:40

You know, often, you know, they weren't worried about money or maybe their kids were doing fine and they weren't worried about them.

29:45

And so they often felt like, "Gosh, I should be happy, right?

29:49

I've checked all the boxes, but something is still missing in my life."

29:53

And I spent a number of years just reflecting on their stories, talking to everyone from scientists to historians to philosophers to sociologists, trying to understand what is missing that's leading to this deeper lack of fulfillment.

30:09

And what I realized there is that there are three things that we need in our life uh for deep fulfillment that have been eroding over time.

30:14

There's our relationships, there's our engagement in service, but it's also a sense of purpose.

30:20

And you know, we've talked about the challenge with relationships when it comes to uh the high levels of loneliness.

30:25

Uh as you mentioned, service is also is quite low.

30:29

Uh we find that the number of people who are engaged in formal and informal acts of service uh is well below 50% in the United States.

30:38

And when it comes to purpose, one of the statistics that surprised and disturbed me the most was a study of young people, uh youth age I believe aged 18 to 24.

30:49

And it found that more than 50% of them said that they felt little to no sense of meaning or purpose in their lives.

30:56

Uh that was a chilling statistic.

30:56

You know, it's as a young person, there's no expectation you should know exactly what you're going to do in life, but to feel that you don't have a sense of meaning or purpose uh to me as a father, I remember reading that stat and just being so saddened by it, and thinking that no parent would want their child to feel that way.

31:12

So, there is no amount of money we can make, fame we can accrue, or power that we can amass that will make up for the lack of relationships, the service, and purpose in our lives.

31:26

On the other hand, if we have good relationships, are engaged in service, and have a strong sense of purpose, we can encounter struggles when it comes to uh finances, we can deal with other hardships in our life, and still, despite those hardships, find a sense of fulfillment because those three elements, relationships, purpose, and service, anchor us, and they feed something deeper uh in us at a soul level.

31:50

And so, uh when I think about life going forward, whether it's how I want to contribute to humanity, whether it's how I think about raising my own children, I'm thinking about these three elements.

32:01

How do we cultivate relationships, service, and a sense of purpose in our lives, recognizing that is the foundation on which we need to build everything else.

32:11

I think that's the perfect way to end part one.

32:13

Vivek, thank you for sharing your journey and idea, and we're looking forward to speaking more for part two about you and your journey to reaching that idea.