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When I would work in this Chinese restaurant, I would be daydreaming about just performing.
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And I'd imagine myself in my head holding a mic.
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That was one time I was doing the show.
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I'm looking at the crowd.
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I almost get like a moment of déjà vu.
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Takes me back to when I'm sitting in the Chinese restaurant.
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I'm like, "This looks identical to what I saw in my in my head when I was daydreaming about it."
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For a frame, for a second, I saw these people look like what I saw in my head and I was like, "This is crazy."
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>> [music] >> Whatever you put your attention on in your head, and especially a feeling, for a long enough time, it'll come true.
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>> [music] [music] >> Are we rolling? >> We're rolling. [music] >> Okay, great. How are you? >> I feel great. How are you? >> I'm good.
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>> This is kind of surreal cuz like I grew up watching your interviews.
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Being in the in the hot seat is is new.
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>> Well, we're here cuz you make great music, man.
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And you've you know, you've very effectively and quickly found an audience that are excited to hear this album, Terrified.
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We're also here in Coachella because you're playing the second weekend this weekend. >> Mhm. Yeah, tonight.
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>> You know, it's easy to be cynical about these kind of things, you know what I mean, because I I think that comes from fear, but I would imagine you're pretty excited to be here and it's a really good thing to come play this festival and and and do this. >> Yeah, I'm excited.
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I mean, I'm always excited before shows.
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Like I'm never nervous, but I feel like after doing last week of Coachella, I know now that I can't please everyone. Mhm.
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Like, sometimes they're like, "Oh, you're rapping all of the lyrics.
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You should You should give yourself space in between."
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And then when I do that, people are like, "Does this guy even know the lyrics?
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Like, he's just rapping half of the song."
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So, it's like I know I can't make everybody happy.
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>> So, the first time you realized you finally came to that realization last weekend? >> Yeah, last weekend. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Now knowing that I can't make everybody happy, I'm just going to have even more fun.
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>> I'm sure there've been British artists like Blur and these type of Britpop bands at like festivals like this.
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But, like having like a underground rapper at this type of thing, especially a British one, like I I give I gave even less of a Cuz it's like, here I am.
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Like, it's crazy that I'm at Coachella.
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>> If you really think about it. >> Yeah, yeah.
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>> Like, I was in London, there were these shows called My friend actually used to put them on. It was called Bar right?
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And the cap the venue cap was like five to four four to 600 people.
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And there would be DJs throughout the night and there'd be some performances.
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Even some people would just come to see the DJ and then when it'd be my time to perform, people are like in the crowd like looking to the left, looking to the right.
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And like maybe three or four people that'd see me.
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But, even then, the people that were there to see me were like my friends.
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>> And that must feel like it was only yesterday.
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>> Yeah, it feels like a blink of an eye ago.
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It feels great, but I've also never been someone that loved performing.
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I've never Anytime I've performed, I've never like basqued in the glory of it.
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Like, whenever I perform, I try to connect myself to the audience as much as I can.
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Like, a good example of this, I did a show in London last August in a boxing ring, right?
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I was level with the crowd or the crowd was above me, right?
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I don't like having the crowd below me because I know some people do stage design where they're above the crowd so much.
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They could either be like on a platform or they could be like on a box above the crowd.
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But I always like to put the crowd above me or be level with the crowd.
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You know when the Romans would have these like Colosseum fights? >> Mhm.
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>> It's like those people would be looking down on those people instead of like looking up to them.
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>> That's more of an immersive experience for sure and and I think that um it speaks to the relationship you have with your audience, too.
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You're close in the age, you're close in interests. >> Mhm.
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>> It feels to me in the last couple of years that, you know, you've been able to find an audience that you probably went to you know >> Yeah, definitely you're right.
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Especially >> all of us growing up on the internet, we we basically did go to the same school.
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It's good that you say that because I feel like there are so many schools teaching on the internet and it's like you grew up watching Zane Lowe interviews, you're probably going to listen to the same music.
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You're probably going to dress in a similar way.
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So it's like >> I don't know about that, man.
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I don't even know how anybody dresses who watches these things.
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I think it it's a conduit for a fan to better understand you in hopefully the most honest and calm and truthful way at that moment in your life, which right now is on the verge of releasing this album, which means an enormous amount to you.
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I don't want to kind of um pull back the curtain too far.
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>> You can pull it back a little bit.
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>> But in the there's very few artists who call me direct before a conversation to give me a deeper insight into how they feel about their music.
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Often they wait until we meet on set. >> Mhm.
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>> And you did that a couple of times in the last 7 days and I could tell from those conversations when we spoke, which were like 15-20 minute conversations, >> Mhm.
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>> how proud of this record you are.
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>> The last time I was this proud was probably in 2023 when I made London Savior.
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>> Yeah, that was a fairly self-produced >> but it was very sample-heavy. >> Yeah.
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>> But I was still able to make a lot of the parts from scratch.
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But the reason why I'm so proud about this is because I made all of this from scratch. >> Yeah. >> Except two songs. Two songs have samples.
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>> I couldn't even tell you what they are.
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I couldn't even tell you once I've even listened to the album three or four times.
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>> I tried my best to like chop the samples the the way that I did on London Savior in a way where it's like it masked them properly.
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It's hard to describe this album without saying to me like I'll go off you.
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Like I'll I'll speak about what you like I'm I'll speak about what you speak about.
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>> Well, to me it's To me it's very interesting, right?
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It it it it it has a a very distinctive intro that sets the scene in a in in quite a large-scale way.
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So you So what you're saying through that intro to me, through Terrified the title track, which is an instrumental intro, is that this isn't a collection of songs.
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Like you know, you you put out whatever how many songs in a in a summer of 50-plus songs in the summer.
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You pass that is the is the is the message I think.
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Like you got to like lean into the entire experience start to finish.
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And from there it there are times it sounds like the work of a mad person in a great way.
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Like you know, you're flipping between capitalism and ambition and wanting money and and all the trappings right through this existential kind of trauma bonding that you seem to be having, you know, with your life and it's it it which it's like a seesaw constantly shifting all the time. >> Yeah.
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I mean >> But it's very emotional as well, I have to say. >> Yeah.
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I don't know if I told this to you when we had our phone calls the other day, but the structure of this album, the reason why these songs are in this order and I made them in this order, because I made them chronologically.
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I made the beat I made the first instrumental first.
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>> Eyes on Me was the second thing you made.
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Playlist was the third thing you made. >> playlist, right?
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I made that I made playlist the moment I hit a million monthly listeners, which was more than four It was It was before August last year.
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>> And that's why you called it playlist? >> Yeah.
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Yeah, that's Yeah, that's what I was thinking about at the time because I was When I When I make a song, I make the beat and then I listen to the beat and then I write to that.
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And then I write I I record, do more post-production on it, and then usually I upload it, but because this song playlist is so special to me, I had to save it for the right time.
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And I made this song in London.
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I was living in London at the time.
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Like I made maybe 10 songs in that house, but that one is special to me because it marks like a certain period in my life.
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And I wanted to have something from that period on the album.
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But the rest of the the music is made in my house in Essex.
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>> The reason to come back and produce it, I want to go all the way back to where this started for you and and um with your blessing start to just dive into a little bit of the story before the story.
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You know, uh who you were before you started to make music, created this identity, changed the identity, became Fekky Menace.
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So, you come from a creative background, right?
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Your dad, at least your dad if not more people uh dabbled in arts, DJ'd and whatnot.
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>> Yeah, my dad used to DJ in the I think the golden age of DJing in in London, like in the '90s.
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Like >> he would DJ like at the Hippodrome before that was a casino. >> Crazy. >> that was a club.
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>> What did he used to play? What kind of music?
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>> Uh a lot of reggae, drum and bass, like UKG stuff.
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But on the other hand my mom, she doesn't have any type of favorite song or like a favorite movie.
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She can't even She probably couldn't name you a song if she tried.
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She It probably take her like 5 minutes to think of a song.
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Yeah, she's not really creatively gifted, but she everything else in terms of logic and like work ethic, finance, like managing your money is like she she she she's the best at that.
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So, I feel like having the blend of someone who's like hyper creative and someone who lacks that creative ness, I feel like that made me into a special type of person.
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>> That's the nurture side of it. Which is important. The parental guidance.
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The right moral compass, the right direction. >> Mhm.
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>> But there's the nature side of it.
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Would your parents say that that this was what who you were destined to be?
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That you were born a creative spirit?
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That they recognized it in you early?
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>> Yeah, they probably would have said that because um I've always been into music.
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Like when I was three I remember I got like this toy drum set.
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Like it wasn't a real drum set.
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It was like one of those ones that kids get.
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But I just remember being so excited to play on this drum thing.
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And then when I was like when I was nine turning 10 I got a laptop.
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And my dad would like pirate a lot of software and I pirate a lot of movies, brother. >> Yeah.
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>> He and he had like a hard drive.
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And I plugged this hard drive into my laptop looking for movies to watch.
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And then I saw an FL Studio download and I was like, "Wow, this looks This sounds familiar."
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Because like weeks before that I was I watched this this video called how to make vaporwave on YouTube and the person was using FL Studio.
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So when I saw it I was like, "Okay, this is something I can make music with." >> Self-taught? >> Yes, all self-taught.
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Like The reason why I'd say I'm so good at FL Studio technically is because I spent so much time watching like how to make Kanye West beats, how to make Drake beats, how to make jazz in FL Studio, how to make like orchestral film stuff.
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And that was before I even started rapping.
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So I would watch all of these like um tutorials on all these different artists for 4 years before I started rapping.
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And I mean it's been like it's been 11 years since I since I >> Yeah.
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>> touched FL Studio for the first time.
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>> Yeah, that that makes sense.
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That's a road map to living a creative life that you're living right now. It's beautiful. I love it.
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Finding something at an early age.
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By the way, your parents must have been thrilled.
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For a kid to find their purpose >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> is a dream.
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>> So I So I got FL Studio and I was using it up until like 2020, but I was in >> [clears throat] >> I went to uh British secondary school and >> [clears throat] >> my my father was very strict when it came to like what I picked for my GCSEs. >> Education and stuff?
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>> Yeah, like he was very strict on education.
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I was staying with him and he was like, "Oh, so what do you want to do?"
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And I was making music, but I didn't want to say, "Oh, I want to be a a rapper."
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to my parents cuz if I did they'd be like "There's not really much money in that." And >> Mhm.
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>> I don't know how plausible that is, right? So, I kept it to myself.
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I was like oh, I'll do I'll do science for GCSEs and then after that I'll do English in in college.
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It was only up until my second year of college I got paid for the first try I did.
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I was like, yeah, this might actually be something.
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So, in the second year I told my mom I was like, yeah, I can't do this anymore.
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So, after the second year of college is when they really knew I was doing music.
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>> What was their response? >> Okay.
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I just had to prove to her that money could be made. >> Yeah.
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>> Before she she actually was like, okay, maybe this could work. >> What was pushing you?
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I mean, aside from being good at it and having put a lot of hours into it.
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Quite a lot of artists I've spoken to if I if we get into the conversation deep enough will tell me that there was some you in there, you know?
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There was like a point to prove to somebody or something or even to yourself.
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Did that ever Was that ever a motivating factor for you?
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>> Definitely point proving the point to myself was a big thing.
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Trying to prove something to the whole world.
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More most I >> It is in you. You do feel that.
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>> When I say I I'm trying to prove something to the whole world, I'm really just trying to prove it to myself.
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You know, I'm not really that like haha, yeah, like I'm do like I couldn't care less what people have to think.
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I care so much what I have I have to think about myself.
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So, like yeah, the person I was proving the most was myself.
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>> How does that work when you're you're been born into this relationship with the internet where accessibility and opinion is constantly swirling?
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You know, I'd love to talk get your perspective on that because I think you make music that that has two very defining characteristics that speak to your generation.
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One is that the internet was already the number one tool at your hands and you you didn't have to discover that. And number two, COVID. >> Mhm.
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>> And I feel like these are I really feel not to drag everyone through that trauma again that we're only just starting to hear the music coming from the spirit of the people, young people affected by COVID.
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Okay, that's that's That's great that you talk about that because COVID for me I when when my area got affected it was like April May of 2020, right? >> Yeah.
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>> And I was in secondary school.
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I was just about to finish >> 15, 16?
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>> Yeah, so maybe even I think think 15 or 14. >> Wow. >> Like year 10, right?
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So So COVID's COVID started when I was about to go into year 11.
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But the school year just ended earlier.
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So when I went to school next I was in year 11, which is kind of crazy to think about because almost half of the year got skipped and then then we went back to school.
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But when we went back to school after COVID, that's when I started uploading music.
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That's when I had a SoundCloud account.
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Before that I didn't have any type of music uploaded or any SoundCloud account.
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I remember vividly coming back from COVID, putting my uniform on and showing like I had my uniform on and I was showing people this music.
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But COVID was honestly a blessing because it forced me to stay at home and at the time making music was just a hobby.
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So I was just doing my hobby.
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Like I was just I would have take my laptop to the garden and then I'd search how to make a Pierre Bourne type beat.
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And and yeah, thinking about it now, the way I was feeling I was like, uh maybe I'm watching too many tutorials. >> Yeah. Where's my sound? >> Exactly.
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Like I was like, damn maybe I'm watching too many tutorials.
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I need to find my own sound, but I thank myself for watching all of these tutorials because the mix of the Kanye tutorial with the jazz and then the how to make film orchestral film strings. Yeah.
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All of those blended together made me my sound.
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>> The feeling I get from the music in particular Terrified and I feel you've been building up to this moment.
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Obviously, there are songs that have served different purposes, but Terrified as a body of work feels at times quite dystopian and I feel like there's relief at the end.
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I I I love the the the the spoken word at the end, the talk about here we are, you know, the universe it seems has outlived us >> has survived us >> us all and and the bit about, you know, where you're talking about, you know, here we are, older, wiser, slightly embarrassed by the theatrics, but alive, I guess.
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When you think about it, that's not a bad outcome.
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There's there's kind of almost defeatist sort of sense of resignation to the album. >> Mhm.
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>> You know, and I I I love you to just give us an idea where that comes from and and if you think as much as a blessing it was to have freedom to create whether or not some of these gigantic global events ultimately seep into the music and into the outcome.
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>> This whole project was written by me and more importantly my friend Rush who I grew up with like I met him in year six and um he was supposed to go to a different secondary school.
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He went to this other secondary school and then his he his mom gave him a fiver for lunch and then the vending machine ate it up and then she thought he was getting bullied and then when when sh- he told her, "Oh, no, it's just the vending machine that took my money." She didn't believe him. >> Right.
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>> So, she was like, "That's it.
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I'm sending you to this school and then I was in art one day, like just like a couple weeks into the school >> Yeah.
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>> and then I see him come into the class and I'm like there's no way cuz I thought it was like year six is when you leave and then year seven is when you start the secondary.
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In year six, I thought, yeah, I'm I'm not going to see him again.
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But he was a great friend.
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But my eyes lit up when he came into this class.
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I was like, yo, how are you here? >> Vending machine. >> you here?
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If it wasn't for this vending machine that ate up his fiver, then his mom wouldn't have brought him to the school and we never would have been friends. >> I love it.
19:32
Then let's get into the sound design of it.
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And the fact that the music you made from scratch, getting back to just you producing all the sounds pretty much from scratch.
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There's a very dis- dis- distinctive sound to this.
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It is nearly tearing itself apart the entire time.
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>> In terms of the sonics? >> Yeah.
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>> Before I even made this project, me, Rush, and my my other friends, we were living in LA for like two two and a half months.
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And it really messed Rush up. And it messed me up.
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Even before we came back in LA, I was writing my notes.
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I wanted this album to have um a sonic evolution starting in hell, starting with like low frequencies, like ritual-esque drums, and the subject matter being like lustful and like prideful and like the first one to eight tracks are basically me indulging in all of the seven deadly sins.
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And then as it progresses, the low frequencies leave.
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Like in in the final song, Etna, there's no drums.
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There are no low frequencies.
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All the lows are cut out.
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So even if there were lows, it's all cut out.
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So it's just high frequencies.
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And there's no there's no drums.
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It's just the It's just like a a pluck and then guitar that I played.
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>> Yeah, it's almost ambient.
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>> Yes, it's it's supposed to be as ambient as possible because yeah, it's supposed it's supposed to be just like an ambient track. >> Feels like relief. >> Calm, yeah, calming.
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>> You're basically describing Dante's Inferno.
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>> Yeah, that's yeah, exactly.
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That is that is the trope that I used.
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Going through hell to get to heaven.
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Um and there being different levels >> Damn, you guys got up by Los Angeles, huh?
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>> So, the funny thing about that we were staying in this Airbnb that I rented myself, but halfway through the trip I was like, "Yeah, I need to be alone."
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So, I went to the Chateau Marmont.
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>> That's where you chose to go?
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>> Like a month >> What the >> And then, yeah, I know now listening Actually, it was the perfect place because >> No disrespect, great hotel.
21:45
I'm just not sure it screams peace and quiet. >> Yeah, you're right.
21:48
At this time, this was like in October.
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Like October of last year, but I was telling myself, "Oh, I need to get away so I can be so I can first of all make music.
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But also wanted to be in somewhere that would inspire me to do the first one to eight tracks.
22:09
>> I'd be shocked if that hotel wasn't haunted. >> Yeah. It's definitely haunted.
22:13
Like we also shot the cover out there. >> Yeah.
22:18
>> Have I shown you the cover art? >> I saw the cover art.
22:19
>> Yeah, it's it's my friend Victoria, but she's also the same person that does the interludes.
22:25
So, she she's from LA, but she's reading it in a in a broken Brit- British accent. >> That's so funny.
22:30
Can I tell you why that's so funny?
22:32
Cuz I was listening to this going, "This is almost like cosplay British accent."
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>> Yes, yeah, you the way that she says pass So, pass >> it's so theatrical.
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It's like, "I'm now talking."
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It's It's but it makes it super surreal.
22:43
It does have a a strong effect.
22:46
>> Yeah, I mean like one thing I love playing with like I'm I'm I'm so glad that I'm I'm able to do an album now after doing singles for so long.
22:54
I've treated Terrified like this exploitation horror movie. Right?
22:59
So, like we're doing like a short film.
23:02
We're also like doing like a book, right, which was written by Rush, but written from my point of view.
23:11
This book is this it's like a first-person book talk like me giving my account of my times in LA, New York, whatever.
23:18
And there's also this other speaker >> or the off-camera version?
23:23
>> The off-camera version.
23:23
I mean, it's a blend of both, but like it's a very personal look into the time me and Rush spent in LA.
23:29
But in this book there's another speaker which is in a different font, but me the me first-person can't is not acknowledging the speaker, but this other speaker is commenting on what I'm saying.
23:43
I'm treating this whole album like a exploitation film, so like the title track is supposed to be kind of hard to listen to.
23:55
Like the reason why that scream The reason cuz she sent me a bunch of takes saying terrified.
24:00
The first one that I used was her whispering like terrified. It was like a whisper.
24:06
But I wanted it to >> Just the one that on the link you sent me and then I heard the album for your rides [clears throat] and she's screaming at >> Okay, I'm glad that you got to hear it.
24:14
I'm glad >> I'm glad that you got to hear the whisper.
24:20
Okay, I'm glad I'm So so when you heard the scream, did you jump up a little?
24:24
>> It took me by surprise for sure because I cuz >> That's that's my goal. That was my goal.
24:27
>> My friends will attest to this.
24:27
I was lying there when the song ended and I went to to do it the way I'd heard it, which is go terrified in a normal voice. >> Mhm.
24:35
>> And then something interrupted the stream and it kicked back in and SHE GOES TERRIFIED!
24:39
>> [screaming] >> AND I WAS LIKE, WHAT THE >> YEAH, NO, I'M GLAD I'M glad >> I was super super undialed into your album because I didn't do it the right way.
24:46
[laughter] >> If I'm being honest, you're probably the third person to hear this fully.
24:53
Right, so it's like I'm so excited to like show people because I'm not trying to like toot my own horn here. >> Why not?
25:01
>> [laughter] >> What's the problem with that, by the way?
25:04
Why not tell people how great something is?
25:05
>> The claim I'm going to make is kind of bold, but right now we are in like the pre-terrified time, but when as soon as this project drops, >> Yeah.
25:16
>> music, especially like the underground scene, like the people in the UK that look up to me, especially, are going to listen to this album and be like, "Holy Like we need to step our game >> somewhere else.
25:30
>> This project is really going to mark a period in time when music changes because I I love music.
25:39
I listen to so much new music.
25:41
I try to listen to all these new underground kids.
25:45
Try to listen to every new project that comes out in hopes that I find something that impresses me.
25:52
Like I don't listen to this stuff because I hate any of these people.
25:55
I genuinely listen to it so I can hopefully find something that impresses me, but it's very rare.
26:03
>> So, that's that's a lonely place to be.
26:05
And and for a time at the beginning, it felt like you had found a, whether you meant to or not, a community of kids around the same age who wanted the same things.
26:12
You know, it's not out of pocket for me to say your name in the same breath as, uh, you know, S D Kid and Net Spend and cetera et cetera.
26:20
You know, now everyone's going off and doing their own things.
26:24
Did it ever feel like a scene at all?
26:26
And if it did, were you ever comfortable being aligned?
26:30
>> Yeah, I mean, if it used to really, really feel like a scene because there was there's a studio in London near Old Street, right? Called Virus Studios. >> Yeah, I know it.
26:42
>> And you can't really book a session there.
26:45
You just have to know someone who knows someone there because all these sessions would be free.
26:51
When you'd go into this building, you'd find um SD and Femi in one room, and then you'd find Echo 2K in another room, and then you'd see me in another room, right?
27:01
So, it's like whenever I would go to the studio, it would be like a school almost where I'd see my friends, see like the teachers, right? The the security guards.
27:13
And then like the people that were the the one person that was there managing the studio.
27:17
And it would just be like all of my friends um in different rooms making music.
27:20
So, when what cuz SD is from Liverpool, right?
27:25
He would whenever he would travel down from Liverpool to London with Rico, we would always go to the studio, smoke outside the studio, and then make music, go back upstairs, smoke, and then make music. >> Yep.
27:40
>> And that's how LV Sandals was made.
27:40
Like we almost didn't make that song.
27:42
Like that one day when we when we made LV Sandals, almost the whole scene came to that studio.
27:51
Like Femi, T Bo, YT was there, I think. And then SD and Rico.
27:58
I think I think everyone was there because SD was coming from Liverpool, and it's rare for him to come from Liverpool to London, so everybody came there to say hi.
28:07
When we were smoking upstairs for the last time, my cousin was there with me, and he comes outside the door, and he's like, "Yo, would you hop on a beat that goes down?" I was like, "Maybe.
28:21
Like the way that he's describing it sounds kind of weird."
28:25
And then I go down, and it's the LV Sandals beat.
28:27
I'm like, "Yeah, I'll hop on this."
28:29
So, I'm sitting on the couch next to the laptop, and I'm like thinking about what to write, and I'm like, I say to SD, "Oh, let me just do the hook on this, right?"
28:36
So, I just Doing hooks are easy cuz you really have just write uh five or six lines. >> Yeah. >> I wrote that hook. Did it.
28:48
We listened to it a couple times and then I forgot about that song.
28:52
And then when Ash dropped it, the whole thing went up. >> It changed overnight.
28:56
I mean it's a beautifully described experience of what a scene is, an example of a scene is, which is really just the desire to hang out, focus on your common passion together, and then for it to be a thing, one song or one album or one artist has got to change everything, right? >> Mhm.
29:15
>> And then it's like, okay, what am I going to do with this now? >> Mhm.
29:20
>> And I feel like you went crazy.
29:22
You just went song crazy.
29:25
What really inspired you to want to release so much music so quickly without using a a traditional architecture like an album or mixtape or whatever?
29:34
>> In December of 2023, I released this project London Savior under the moniker 1990 gates.
29:41
I wasn't Fekky Ink at the time. >> Yeah.
29:44
>> What inspired me to drop music is in that period, this like 6-8 week period after the project has come out. >> Yeah.
29:52
>> I'm looking at it and I'm like, this is a great project.
29:54
This should like surely I should have a little bit more reception than this.
30:00
>> There wasn't even good or bad reception. There just was nothing. >> That's the worst. >> Right?
30:03
Yeah, I really made this project and no one's really listening like listening to it.
30:06
Like all the songs stayed under 10,000 streams for like the longest time.
30:13
But after that I said, okay, I'm going to change my name to something that rolls off the tongue more.
30:21
And then I told myself, okay, I'm just going to make singles from now on until something hits.
30:27
And then and then when when when I make a hit, then I'll think about making the project. >> Mhm.
30:35
>> In that period, I dropped so much music, but whenever I would drop a song, I would say, okay, I'm dropping this, but I'm not looking back.
30:43
I'm just going to drop it and then think about what I'm going to make next. >> Mhm.
30:47
Because >> Proof of concept. >> Mhm.
30:50
>> Because at a point in time, I was dropping weekly. >> Yeah, yeah.
30:54
>> Weekly for more than 3 months. >> Multiples.
30:57
>> Yeah, like even even twice a week. It's a beautiful day.
31:10
My daily mantra is today is my favorite day because if you wake up and say, "Okay, today is my favorite day."
31:17
then it it really will be. I promise you. I genuinely promise you.
31:22
>> So, you are a manifestor and you and you like to write mantras and you like to really like live with intention.
31:27
>> Noa Dilan was saying this, right?
31:27
He said this in interview.
31:31
He said that everything I do from the way like I dress to the way I comb my hair, it's all to do with like my purpose or like my my artistic purpose, right?
31:41
So, I try to do every single thing with intention even even if it may not look like it.
31:50
I know in my head the the intentions.
31:53
>> So, let's talk about lifestyle for a second and being a young person, let's talk about some of the experiences you had in Los Angeles, you know, things that I would think would be contradictory to living with purpose. The the fight, right?
32:03
Between indulgence and diligence, living a purposeful life.
32:11
You're also a Muslim, right?
32:11
So, it's trying to I'm trying to figure out where the how you find balance in all of this, living this life, some of the stuff you talk about, the excess versus the discipline that obviously you're drawn to as well.
32:24
>> I'm definitely someone who fears God, but at the same time, as much as I might fear God, I don't act out of fear that God might strike me down. I I it out of love.
32:36
Looking at this floor right now, this is all God's work.
32:40
And me falling into my vices is also God's work.
32:45
I'm not blaming God for the fact that I fall into these vices.
32:47
When people ask me for advice, I don't say that.
32:51
I say that life isn't about just feeling good, it's about feeling everything.
32:55
So, feeling shame, feeling guilt, feeling happiness, feeling pride.
32:59
Life is about feeling all of these things.
33:04
I'm able to find a balance because I speak to God, and I hold high I hold God so highly.
33:12
Not out of fear, just out of like an innate feeling.
33:16
>> To love and be loved, to feel loved unconditionally even whilst you figure out your flaws through life. >> Yes, definitely.
33:22
I feel like you might find one or two other people that love you unconditionally, but God will love you unconditionally no matter what you do. No matter what you do.
33:30
Cuz people like I've heard people say "I love you unconditionally, but maybe you've heard that in the past."
33:40
It might not be as as true as they might like the the person saying it might like to think.
33:43
Also, the one thing about God, too, is that even if you're ashamed of something, like all like he knows your deepest, darkest secrets, right? >> God. I love palm trees.
33:59
When I saw one of the recent conversations you did, maybe the only other conversation I've seen you do a little bit of editorial work, someone asked you where you'd be in a period of time and would you still be making music.
34:08
You were so quick to say no.
34:10
I almost didn't want to have this conversation with you cuz I was like, "Why are we even then starting to have a relationship with you?"
34:15
>> I'm glad I have I'm glad I actually get to clear that up. >> Yeah.
34:18
>> When when I answered that quickly, I meant to say I'm not going to be rapping in the next 10 years.
34:24
Because me being the 21-year-old person I am now, I know for a fact even in the next 3 years, there's going to be another 18-year-old or another 15-year-old or 16-year-old that's making insane music, right?
34:44
And there will there will come a time where this 16-year-old or 15-year-old turns 21 and I I'll have to pass the torch to them.
34:51
Or me and SD and Femi, we all metaphorically have to pass our torches to the to the to the youth, right?
34:58
So, I me personally, I think when I'm 30 or 31, what I could possibly be rapping about may not be as important as what the next 18-year-old is rapping about.
35:13
But me personally, I just don't see myself rapping at 30.
35:16
I'll definitely be making better instrumentals than I ever have when I'm when I'm 30, 40.
35:24
I'll definitely pick up more instruments because I love I'm a lover of music.
35:27
I love rap, don't get me wrong.
35:31
And rap is the art form that I've nailed because one time I said, "Oh, I'm I'm not a rapper.
35:39
I'm I'm an artist, right?"
35:41
And that caused a lot of discourse online.
35:42
But what I meant to say is not only am I a rapper, I'm a producer.
35:49
I'm someone who focuses on writing, someone who I draw, I I make things on Illustrator.
35:58
So, like when I meant to say, "Oh, I'm not just an a rapper. I'm an artist."
35:59
I meant to say, "I'm not just limited to writing bars and putting them behind the beat that somebody somebody else made.
36:07
I'm a multifaceted person.
36:12
>> It's such a beautiful art form, though.
36:14
>> Rap is such a powerful art form because I'm able to express myself.
36:19
I'm able to show people things about me.
36:24
I'm able to show people things about my times in and I'm also able to show my people my show these people my struggles, but decorate it in a song where people can what jump jump around to.
36:37
So, I feel like rap is like I thank God for rap every day because I know for a fact I wouldn't be able to express myself the same way as I would over an old rock >> Mhm.
36:52
>> instrument or or because my brother listens to a lot of like Radiohead and Blur, right?
37:00
>> He said >> be able to express myself over a Radiohead instrumental >> Right.
37:03
>> the same way I would my own instrumentals, even though my own instrumentals are complex and they have depth to them.
37:11
They still have these rap drums where I'm able to keep that rhythm and like rap over that.
37:17
>> But do you listen to that music even if it doesn't >> I listen to everything. >> Everything.
37:20
>> Like the one reason in in terms of like that's type of music I listen to all of the things my brother listens to. >> Older older brother.
37:28
>> I only have one older brother. >> Yeah. >> His name is Nia. >> Yeah.
37:31
>> He's inspired me just as much as my my friend Ross has, right? >> Yeah. Yeah.
37:36
>> And me and my parents live close by and my brother still lives with my parents.
37:41
So, every night my brother comes, we we watch a movie, we watch TV, and we just talk about we what it's funny, we talk about the movies that he went to see the early like in the day earlier because in London there are all these cinemas that play these old exploitation movies, all these old weird movies, and then he usually watches two in a day.
38:05
So, 5 to 6 hours of the day is spent watching movies, and then he'll come back to me and give me the craziest references.
38:14
A lot of the terrified stuff, especially the horror references, were all from him.
38:18
Like just these weird >> David Lynch type >> Weirder than that.
38:24
>> Well, but I love David Lynch so much.
38:26
>> David Lynch is someone I look like I don't look up to that many people.
38:29
But David Lynch is someone that I wish I could could have spoken to.
38:35
>> I can tell how much you love home.
38:37
>> Nowhere on earth can hold a candle to England, but especially Essex.
38:43
>> Why did you call your your first project London Savior?
38:45
It's confusing if you're so proud of where you're from.
38:47
So >> Real talk, Essex is not in London. >> All right, yeah.
38:51
Essex is not in London, but right?
38:52
I was born in East London in Ilford, right?
38:55
Which is the So East London is here, Essex is here.
39:01
So East London is the closest part of London to Essex, but the reason why I named it London Savior cuz no one in London was making any good music, so I had to come out of Essex and save London.
39:15
Like as much as I [clears throat] love Essex and I'm patriotic about Essex, I I was still >> It's amazing you got away with that, man.
39:21
I mean, it's a bold statement.
39:23
>> I grew up I >> London is a proud city that's given incredible >> don't get me wrong.
39:27
London is a proud city, but I'm also proud of the fact that I spent the first five years of my life in in Ilford, in East London.
39:35
>> You got some bragging rights is what you're saying.
39:36
>> Yeah, maybe my true formative years, like 6 to 9 or 6 to 13, were weren't spent in London.
39:44
But I'm grateful that they weren't because Essex Like even the the the culture of Essex I I will always be drawn to more than London.
39:57
Like the the Stern Island, the spray tan, the going to Adventure Island the chippy, the Chinese again, the Chinese, like cuz I I I grew up working in a Chinese restaurant.
40:12
So the only ever job I've had was working at Chinese take No, not even a restaurant, It's take-out. >> Take-out. Take-out.
40:18
>> Where you can't even sit. You just come in.
40:20
You either pick your food up if you called on the phone or you come in there, order, take it, and leave.
40:26
>> So, let me ask you this.
40:26
When you're working in that restaurant, because we started like one of the first things you said when we were sitting up at the back >> Mhm.
40:33
>> was like it it's crazy to think that you're here at Coachella as a artist from England. >> Mhm. >> From the UK.
40:41
Making the kind of music you're making and getting the kind of attention you're getting.
40:43
So, this feels like kind of a full circle uh observation or at least a question which is um you're working in a Chinese restaurant.
40:51
You're a young guy just trying to get some money walking around money. >> Mhm.
40:56
>> Is there a driving ambition?
40:56
Do Do Do you see yourself here today when you're working there?
40:59
Does it unfold before you somewhere deep inside of you?
41:01
Cuz Cuz most people think this is like A lot of people listen to music just think it just lands, right?
41:05
Oh, you know, SoundCloud, the internet, something catches, la la la.
41:08
People like to discredit the work is what I'm saying.
41:11
>> So, when I would work in this Chinese restaurant from 4:00 p. m. to to 9:45 10:00 p. m.
41:18
I would be daydreaming about just performing, right?
41:21
So, in my head I'd close my eyes and I would just imagine a crowd.
41:28
And I'd imagine myself in my head holding a mic.
41:30
I never had performed at that point.
41:32
I would just imagine myself with my eyes closed seeing a microphone.
41:38
And there was one time where I was I was doing the show, right?
41:42
And I'm I'm looking at the crowd and I have the mic in my in my hand.
41:51
And it's I almost get like a moment of déjà vu, right?
41:53
It takes me back to when I'm sitting in the Chinese restaurant.
41:57
I'm like, this looks identical to what I saw in my in my head when I was daydreaming about it.
42:01
Like the part There were purple lights.
42:05
I didn't have my shirt on.
42:08
I had the mic and there were two people.
42:11
Like the way that the people were positioned in my head, it like for a frame for a second, I saw these people look like what I saw in my head, and I was like, "This is crazy."
42:23
>> What does it tell you about life?
42:24
>> Whatever you put your attention on in your head, and especially a feeling, if you put attention on a feeling in your head for a long enough time, it will come true.
42:36
If you keep thinking that your friends are betraying you, oh, this is my friend is betraying me.
42:39
If you keep telling yourself that, it's going to happen.
42:43
Because your brain is looking for proof of it. >> Yeah.
42:45
>> If you keep telling yourself the grass is green, right?
42:47
Even if you're inside, the grass is green, your brain will look for proof of this.
42:52
So, it will go outside, so your subconsciously go outside and look for this proof.
42:56
The same way I kept telling myself, "Oh, I'm performing. I'm doing these shows. I'm doing these shows."
43:01
I take words very seriously.
43:04
I don't joke around about, especially me and Rush, right?
43:07
One thing I I I had to discover is Like I've always known what banter was, but me and Rush, we never joked where we would cuss each other out.
43:19
Like we would never say anything bad.
43:24
Even as like the most light-hearted joke, we would just never even think to to speak in that manner.
43:32
But yeah, I take words very seriously, and especially feelings. Right?
43:36
Because especially negative feelings.
43:39
>> We just speaking these things on the record, do you get concerned ever if you're exercising the dark side of life and your experiences that you're attaching yourself to them still and speaking them into existence, or does it feel more like a release to you?
43:52
>> I definitely have both thoughts, but it it's definitely more of a release, right?
43:57
When I say this stuff, people might be scared like, "Oh, if I if I think of this bad feeling, it will it will it will come and stay in my life."
44:06
But it will only stay in your life if you choose to keep putting your attention on it. >> Yeah.
44:11
>> Because the feeling is one thing, the catalyst of it is actually the attention.
44:16
So, the more attention you put on this one feeling, it will snowball, and then eventually after 4 5 6 months, >> Yeah.
44:24
>> then you will see the work of what you've done in your head.
44:28
>> Terrified man, 19 pieces of music.
44:28
You know, when you sent it to me and I listened to it, I I I I went in with really open ears.
44:32
You You'd established that you were going to try to do something that was a big leap when we spoke not long ago.
44:38
And I I really I personally really think that it is, and um man, I think it's it's going to it's going to change your life for certain.
44:46
Where do you go from here?
44:46
You got to tour it, put it out, then what?
44:50
>> So, it's coming out right after the US tour leg, and then I'm going to finish the EU UK leg, and then I'm going to go on a Terrified the movie tour.
45:01
So, it's going to I'm just going to play the album start to finish. No E. S. P.
45:02
, no LV Sandals, just the album. And then off the stage.
45:08
I'm not showing them any hits.
45:12
It's just going to be this novella, live novella.
45:14
I'm going to get backup dancers, like choreographed, as well as characters. >> Any last thoughts? >> I feel great. The heat is baking me.
45:27
Um I'm just excited, like I'm glad I got to show this project to someone outside of my circle, and the reception is good. >> Yeah.
45:36
>> But, yeah, man, this is pre-Terrified time.
45:37
This is pre-Terrified right now.
45:40
After May 22nd, I will be post-Terrified.
45:43
>> So, what does Terrified mean to you?
45:44
>> Being full of adrenaline, like you're scared, but you're not confused.
45:49
You know exactly what's in front of you, but it might it might be thrilling you, it might be chilling you, but you're not confused.
45:55
You know exactly what you're facing head-on.
45:59
>> Which I'm sure you're feeling at this point, cuz you're about to go out to Coachella and this last thing has been fun. >> I had a good time. >> I love you, too.
46:05
>> Yeah, have a great show.
46:09
>> [music] [music] [music]