let me tell y'all something aside from you see this hat you see this jacket I'm a nice presenting woman I'm hungry I want to be the best if I have 2 days if I have 24 hours I'm going to work my hardest to make the best performance because I want to be the best period don't let the jumpsuit fool [Music] you all right how do you feel when you hear this song with everything that has
changed since this song I was think of songs DOI as being like such an essential part of your chosen family you chose to make it and now it leads and it guides and it shows you the way so what does this song mean to you when you hear it coming out of the this song means alignment it means celebration it means arriving and it means being that girl okay all right as as far as as far as first uh comments in the show is
concerned you just won that award this year don't you it's nice to see you nice to see you how are you I'm doing amazing yeah congratulations on everything we're going to talk about what a year you've had and focus on the future too and just also try to stay as present as possible so it is December um do you love this time of year do you I do I love it for some reason these days I'm always working through December and I'm working
through the holiday yeah I think this is something that um a lot of people need to understand about people who are in the Arts is that even though it is a passion and you get to apply yourself every day to what you love there's no 9 to-5 to this and there's no actual traditional calendar to this world at all right no no off days you work 258 2 I like that 64 after 21 in the hour right now as we
have fun with time so 2024 yeah Game Changer yeah and it's not like you arrived overnight you spent years building up to this moment absolutely been making music for a very long time yes and we've appreciated it throughout but equally recalibrating your own inner self so that you're out of self reflects yourself correctly I feel like that's what these years have really been and and not to try to to put a ribbon on it
cuz that will continue throughout your whole life but how sort of important has the last 3 years been for you as a human before we even heard the art just the decisions you made to just get yourself in Balance yeah it's meant a lot to me I have learned so much about myself through the industry that's the thing it's not just about the industry I've learned so much about myself and my
mental willpower and what I like and what aligns with me and how that reflects through that through my music and so this year in particular has been uh this blossoming of work that I've been doing for a very long time internally and now it's it's finally showing itself I love that you say you learned through the industry because I think that when you're an artist and you're making music before you find
anyone that cares and wants to invest with the best of intentions you you think you got to do it all yourself and then someone comes along and goes hey I really like what you do and you're like ah my problems are solved and I think this has been part of the psychology issue of the artsts in the industry forcades and I think that artists of your generation and ones coming up now subsequently will learn that actually
know you have to learn yourself your own lessons through the industry right absolutely yeah what's one what's one of the key things that you think you've taken away from that process learned about yourself by fundamentally working in an industry that used to promise things they can't deliver anymore I think that I've um I've learned how to truly be codependent on me and validate myself because I think that when I first
started out I would internalize a lot of things like oh you know the I'm I'm being encouraged to make music like this or do it this way or work with these type of producers and I would internalize that as old they they don't like me but equally it's hard for people to know what you want to do when you're too scared to get past that fear exactly and ultimately when you're first starting you don't know everything
and me being a student I'm I come in humbly like I don't know everything but over time I started to realize that I have to become really really dependent on myself and and my gut and that's strong so you're a student by Nature absolutely and yet the world is stying to Look to You For answers how does that feel chill I do not have the answers I remain a student I don't know everything I'm
not righteous I don't know everything but um facts but none of us do but there is a hierarchy to success that means that people search to you for a little more of something extra and they and they stop searching to you for like oh she's learning and studying to oh she's figured something out can she help me figure something out even further I guess what I'm asking you is like how's success fit I think I'd have to unpack
that one I'm not sure I'm I'm I'm very much in the early stages I I still am learning a lot about myself and still learning a lot about this industry so I humbly say I have no idea what's going on and I am just a girl back we'll get back to that one yeah we'll get back I look forward to it I can't wait there's so much Life to Live between now and the answer to that question we may never get
back to that one either there may never be an answer to that question uh this is beautiful you know this is our final conversation um of the year um and I'm so glad and and you've been so kind to us at Apple music we've we've built this beautiful collaborative relationship with you and TDE who we love and everyone moves so beautifully um but we're really grateful that you've taken some time out of what is it i' like you
said very busy to send we're going to talk man you went crazy this crazy like are you good I know right I I'm okay I'm okay it's been a busy month but thank God it's been busy CH when it's slow it's it's hard when it's slow so every single piece of music on this project is the perfect canvas DOI for you to paint and self-reflect I feel like you woke up every morning if you were doing canvas
work and I see such a correlation between music and canvas work now um and you just took took a look inside took a look outside and painted whatever you felt and the music is just so nurturing on this record for you you know all the arrangements and the feelings um that one it speaks to me because it's just it's one of those great examples where you're moving away from Tempo and energy and and reflecting
on upon yourself um what kind of mood do you have to be in for a piece of music like that to be completed um you have to be in a courageous place to be that vulnerable um you have to be ready to face yourself and that takes time and patience it was a lot of moments of me walking in the studio and walking back out like I can't say that then walking back in like now you got to say it yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah does does it feel like it's almost like a an explosion like a vomit of sorts like I I cannot keep this in anymore it will hurt me if I don't release this ABS absolutely it's a therapy session that's like long overdue it's like you have to really pee do you love playing back pieces of music to people that are inside your real your real friendship group either either people you collaborate with or
your crew or your oldest friends and just I don't know I do you do you one you corner right to see how they react to certain lines to see go oh God like you know because so much of it is so beautifully truthful I don't like sharing or playing music for anybody like literally my mom gets mad at me because she's like I want to hear what you're working I can't the only person who hears what I'm working on is my
engineer and my label once I'm done with it is it hold on I got a question though is it weird for you because the musical landscape where it was before you dropped alligator bites never heal it didn't point to the fact that we needed an album like that and it wasn't like you were the first person to make music like this or the first woman to make music like this but to a degree you kind of shifted the musical
landscape and you made labels and other parts of the music industry realize like no there's a place for this people love it people stream it people are receptive to it did you feel that when you're making it maybe you didn't but did you feel it once it dropped and you seen the reception I felt it once I was making it I felt a very very strong feeling that people needed this they didn't even they
didn't think they wanted it but they definitely needed it and I knew that when I made it for sure the aesthetic across it for someone like me I I can recognize things that are familiar to me but obviously entirely unique and modern but I hear things that like oh yeah yeah that reminds me of that feeling that I got back in 1992 or you know what I mean and and so you know what are some of those key without I personally love to
talk about influences I know some artists get nervous outwardly describing who inspired them but I love the paying it forward and backward so who are some of those artists that are kind of key just to this project not even just to your development as a human but just this project I have no problems talking about that because I love talking about it a lot of my Inspirations when I was
making this project that feeling that I got when I listened to my first Outcast album uh miseducation of Lauren Hill how she was singing and rapping and the topics that she was discussing between romance and self-introspection and things like and hard too still still hard um inspired me a lot old Kendrick Lamar like I'm talking about like mixtape Kendrick Lamar when he was like 16 17 inspired me a lot Wayne the Nissan
Ultima like that to that yes these artists MF Doom oh my God just like this pure hip-hop essence of like creativity with no bounds and no uh restrictions no formula you know it reminds me of like that that story that you know you hear about Mad Lib you know what Mad Lib does if you work with Mad Lib apparently he makes it once on his on his samp drum machine gives it to you and there's no
mixing or adjustment out the fact it's just yours you can spit on it you do it you jump on it but after that the moment has passed it and that's it it's done yes right cuz you got to make another one yes is it you took so much time to get this project into a place I don't know how much actual recording hours but certainly personal development time how did it feel when you finally knew that you could let it go and move
forward with your life it felt so relieving because I was so obsessed with like this idea of a day album when I frame my mind in a mixtape I was like oh this could be anything it's weird the psychology is so weird like that isn't it yeah it is it is and so I was like I'm going to make this mixtape in a month whatever I get in a month that's what it is I'm letting it go yeah yeah yeah done um we were talking a little
bit while we while we were playing the last song um about the just December for you and and one of the most recent things you did was we'll talk about tiny disc because a lot of people have would love to hear your reflection on that cuz you created you set the again for that um but the cold bear performance to me was just so spectacular um you know you and your friends up there your your team
as a crew provided one of the most visually interesting and brilliantly choreographed performances I've seen in a long time and and often choreography and I'll try to narrow this this description down but choreography is can be a separate thing to the music at times sometimes I'm feel like I feel like I'm watching a performance alongside music or over music but I'm really supposed to focus on the
I felt like this choreography was there to enhance the music so can we talk a little bit just about like from the spark to the flame to the fire of of of how you created that performance cuz people are watching it every day I think it's good to put context around it yeah originally I had a choreographer and this choreographer Is Amazing by the way but after I went into one rehearsal I was like you know what I think I'm going
to make this myself because my body wants to uh be theatrical and act out these lyrics in such a way that only I can translate myself and I was like okay I'm going to choreograph this I've never done this but let's do it you never choreographed anything you done before this performance no I'm sorry I I I I I have to drop I have to drop I have to drop a bomb and that was the one you put
okay all right okay yeah you should do that more yeah or maybe not maybe just a one time genius moment it's a collectible experience for everybody so okay so you get yourself this challenge to do it and so let's begin what where do you start absolutely I started with the message and I found this insert from MF Doom he was doing an interview and he was talking about the meaning of his mask and why he wears it to draw more
Focus to not what he looks like but what he sounds like and that was kind of the basis of my performance um and I was like I want these movements to not be distracting like 1 2 3 4 we sexy ah like but I wanted it to tell a story and act as like a play I don't want these distracting lights moving all over the place let's bring them in one scene one color brown three girls dressed the same
I don't need to be the center of attention we look the same let's just yeah some sometimes sometimes it's like sometimes it's like a it's like a sidewalk trick of what's in the cup like I'm trying to figure out where you are and there's only three of you because the way you're moving and interacting with each other was so seamless it took me about 60 to 90 seconds to realize that you were connected as well it's it
just reveals itself in the most tasteful way thank how long did it take to get right uh we have four days Jesus come on listen let me tell yall something I was four days for that and I had I had just traveled to let me tell y'all something aside from you see this hat you see this jacket I'm a nice presenting woman I'm hungry I want to be the best if I have two days if I have 24 hours I'm going to
work my hardest to make the best performance because I want to be the best period don't let the jumpsuit fool you you're kind of you're definitely the best dress in here right now but that's sitting the bars somewhat lower than well Eddie exception he always shows up he always shows up but um four days and the limitations of late night television you know you don't see that you know what I mean like it operates on such a
narrow like View and then like you just come in and make the most of what those limitations are it just speaks to I don't know the equilibrium yeah Co Bear's team was very um very accepting my ideas too I think the guys were very excited you think you think they're like okay no disrespect to anyone else who shows up on late night TV but they got to do thisy n chsky ladies and gentlemen DOI you know what I mean they're G to do
this every single night so so so they're like ah another performance they're like okay fire up and this like and they're like hey was that good they're like yeah you the best of the year Well Done That was great thanks move on next we're do you come on and do your thing in rehearsal everyone's like yeah we're we're going to be fine um were you nervous or did you feel you had it I knew I had
it you know I love that too though cuz you say you want to be the best and that shines through in everything you do it's the visuals it's the performances it's you know we're going to talk about tiny deaths later but I want to rewind like I went to TD had like a showcase for you I think it was 2021 maybe oh God when I with the fire yes the truck in the fire why you saying oh God because it was hot as hell too it was super hot I had a
ponytail on and I was naked with boots and like body paint it was it was just but but let me tell you as somebody who was in the crowd and as your name was starting to circulate and you became one of those like fan favorites inside the music industry so we go and everybody's excited right let's see what's happen what's going on and usually when you go to artists when they first start at least to us like
when we're seeing you for the first time it can be a little rough it can be a little this it can be a little that from the rip we were like yo we left that joint like oh she's it and what people don't realize is if you rewinded 2021 and you fast forward to now to us that feels like a long time know felt we were toing oh yeah you got that in your your genetic code you had that cuz you had it
then thank you no you're right it's what does it feel like does it feel like a second ago does it feel like a lifetime ago that performance it feels like a lifetime ago honestly it feels like so long ago but it was only three years ago right but that just feels like a life I mean God quarantine feels like another life it's like we quantumly into a new like space after you know when people go into denial it's been a collective
Global denial experience that's been happening um that check is in the mail like you're going to have to deal with that at some point you know what I mean I'm dealing with it baby you're not dealing with it oh you're I feel with the 9 to 10 clock hours for this what we do with it every single day all my days you say so you don't have to reflect it so we're not going to ask you to peel back those stories even deeper but was
that one of those moments where you walked out the room was like do I really talk about I literally asked by engineer I was like okay nobody's here with us right now is this too far and she was like a little bit but go off you are an artist you made a courageous decision at a very young age to back yourself you are an entrepreneurial Spirit by Nature therefore you created a bespoke industry
designed around you so why wouldn't you allow yourself to Day drink once in a while cuz no one's telling you to show to work then you have to make a decision that you know what the thing I really enjoy doing is hurting me that that kind of is a really important turning point is it not absolutely it was hard to come to terms with that and and also take self-ability yeah yeah yeah as to how did I let
myself get here what happened and whose fault is it really those are big questions yeah yeah yeah so how did you get there what what what was in you do you think at a certain point that made you I look at it as the as the as the perfect distraction I have 100% and and and open to this myself there's times I just don't want to deal yeah so I'll have a drink in my hand or I'll work too hard I'll do whatever I can to avoid the
situation and it's taking me a long time to figure out that like you got to work through the situation absolutely I think that um when I first got signed it was kind of like a celebration era for me and then also with Co and stuff it's just like you it builds into this whole like situation until I'm just like okay this is no longer serving you this is no longer you know a Vibe anymore and
that's okay you're outg growing that you know I'm like I'm in my 20s I should be able to have fun and and you can have fun just it's not serving you anymore and that's okay I was at fogor and um I flew in uh from very far away uh and and went straight to fogor and I got to very late and all anyone wanted to talk about was your show and I know people say that kind of stuff all the time but you must
have know you had a moment because when you want you know when you feel when you're on the site and it's like you had a moment so when it comes to performing live in situations like that um I know that you found your flow but do you recognize each each opportunity like that is like okay I can take this and I can actually reach more people I can have a real moment here rather than just
another show how do you treat each show like that absolutely I I treated one I was just honored to that uh Tyler allowed me to Grace the stage especially a big stage like that I'm still up and coming and so that was huge to me um but also I was like this is an opportunity for me to expand my fan base and it was just that a lot of people in that crowd weren't familiar with me a couple of fans were there but most of the crowd
wasn't familiar with well it's almost like a Tyler show really in a lot way yes it is a Tyler a Tyler show but afterwards you know a lot of people are like hey respect okay see that's cool and it's amazing how the word of mouth can still really affect that we try to find our audience through all these digital ways and and lots of billions of little kind of lanes but really sometimes you just have to take the big
road and just put your best self in front of as many people as possible and let that word of mouth thing happen people remember how you made them feel I search for fundamental truths in these conversations cuz we've all heard everyone say everything over and over again we're in a conversation loop at some point in our life when you say something like that I realize like oh my God that's that that is a fundamental
Playbook truth they want it's they remember the feeling yes that's it what do you what feeling do you remember what really comes to mind out of the many that was a very important feeling that's attached to music for you throughout your life something that really has bookmarked for you in your mind and an important feeling at some point H it would probably be the moment when I was writing denial is
a river I realized that I didn't want to hold any secrets within myself anymore I don't like living that way I don't like Secrets I like to live honestly in my truth and that's the most important thing to me now as an artist cuz you broke through the threshold yes I have to be honest all the time or I get really uncomfortable maybe I'll get sick yeah or I'll die now it's true it can it can't no it can it can manifest itself
in you in a bad way can't live that way yeah so that song is the most most important song you've ever made in some respects absolutely yeah I love that yeah what's Tampa like oh God small yeah but also big yeah oh that's interesting I like that so how would you create the distinction between the two and one singular okay it's big because it is a big city but it's small because our music Community is very
small um and so it's warm everybody knows everybody everybody shows up for everybody a lot of the audiences are just other artists supporting you yeah yeah yeah which is very cool I love that Anam man's from Florida yeah not far away from you I'm the other side of the on the other side of the boat you're on Tampa Sebastian Florida oh I never heard of that tiny tiny it gets tinier it gets small uh but
there you know there's a reason I don't live there anymore like you feel like it's too small you outgrow it feels very small yeah but like your ambition and that sort of like gut and that intuition tells you that you got to go yeah and I think I when I listening to this record I mean I mean the fact that you have a trap called boiled peanuts is just like I'm I'm like dead I'm like dead you know
about that yeah that's fire I don't know I love the song but I would like to the inside take on that from a Local's point of view you have to try them you have to taste it and you have to experience it but they boil it it's kind of like a a stew with peanuts and you can get them on the side of the road anywhere like in on any side of the highway you just get a bag of boiled peanuts it's like an acquired taste but like everybody's got
their own sauce everybody's got their own this is what's L about America I just went to Missouri for the first time put a pin in the middle of America and that's it right and I literally stood there and I and I realized I was at this I was getting a coffee in this Tiny Town Square and it turns out this is the first place that there was ever a a recorded gunfight oh my God Wild Bill hi
yeah I think the NRA was born there I think while Bill Hickok and some Giza got into it over gambling shot their way out of this town square and if you if you kind of close your eyes a little bit and remove the kind of um whatever the the storefronts that are modernized it still feels like the wild west I realized like America is so gigantic that there is this sense of like escapism even though you're only going
across the country like you're leaving did it feel that way when you you were looking to get out of Tampa and what was motivating you to search for something new absolutely I think that I had done every show I did every Club in Tampa and I was looking for something else I wanted people to know about my city I wanted to learn new things and I felt like I reached like a cap um and I wanted
to I wanted to get in a space where I wasn't the best oh I said that I rock with that come on I say that humbly so I went to New York because I was like when I went to New York that was like oh everybody here is hard how am I going to push myself further now you also disappear in New York right especially at your age you walk in there and everyone's your age and no one's looking at you going y that's a cool
looking person cuz they're sitting there looking in the mirror yeah they're looking in the reflection in the window going I'm looking pretty cool today exactly but the only way you're going to get better is to spar with somebody who's better than you that's it that's it and that was the goal so you conquered New York conquered New York and then I moved to LA and now I'm here we'll see Main Event Main Event time
Main Event DOI we're seeing we're not we'll see we're seeing it's a beautiful thing it's this is why I love this story it's so unique but it's also an example of somebody who got themselves right and so the music is right and it's not like oh you landed on great music but now you got to do the self workor and that that's tough so yeah man the music's always going to be right [Music] n [Music]