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Hello everyone and welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world.
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Today's guest is none other than the incredibly talented, immeasurably kind, Renaissance woman herself, Jennifer Lopez.
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Jennifer has managed to not only be a cultural touchstone for more than 25 years, but has reached invaluable success while staying so authentic to who she is.
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J Lo just launched her skin care line, J Lo Beauty, in January and she performed inauguration for President Biden.
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So, as expected, it's already been a busy year for her.
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I recently had the opportunity to speak with Jennifer as part of Coach's new YouTube series, Coach Conversations, and now I'm so excited to share our talk with you all in full.
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You really did know a song. Of course we did.
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They should have a whole school for that.
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That is a great question that my wife and my mom still ask me every single day.
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Hey Jennifer, it's so good to see you. Hi Jay.
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Give me Let me give you a hug.
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I think you have to strive to be the best.
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I think that's an important key.
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But you don't have to be the best to have success.
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Welcome everyone to Coach Conversations, a monthly YouTube series where we get together to talk about the things that truly impact our minds, our hearts, and our lives.
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And today's theme is finding your purpose, leading with gratitude, and as the new Coach campaign, Coach It Forward, encourages, telling the people in our lives how they've moved our world forward.
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Now, who better to do this with than you, Jennifer, someone who found her calling so early in life, someone who's dedicated her life to pursuing her dreams and done it with so much authenticity. And what can I say?
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You've been a cultural touchstone for the past 25 years.
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You're a member of the Coach family and what I'm most inspired by and what I want to dive deepest into today is how purpose drives everything you do. I'm ready. Let's go.
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I'm fascinated to know how you define your calling and purpose today and why you think it's important to define it.
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Wow, that's you know, I I went like that when you ask the question because it's it's such still such a big question for me.
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Even though I I kind of know what I do for living and what my life is and the things that drive me.
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For me today in January 2021, I think my calling is to empower, inspire and entertain.
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Those are the things that I do and in an entertaining I kind of hope I'm always empowering and inspiring people to be the best at whatever they want to do.
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You know, I went and before Ruth Bader Ginsburg died, um I I got the the privilege to meet her in chambers while I was on tour and I said to her I said, "What can I do to help?
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Like it seems like the world is so crazy right now."
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And she said, uh "Exactly what you're doing."
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Every person just has to do what they do best and be the best that they can be and in that they will help the world. What a perfect answer.
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Thank you so much for sharing that by the way.
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Since we're talking about purpose this month and that's the the topic, tell me a bit more about you.
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What exactly does a a purpose coach do?
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That is a great question that my wife and my mom still ask me every single day.
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A purpose coach helps people figure out how they can have the deepest and biggest impact on people's lives using their gifts.
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And I believe there's someone out there right now, Jennifer, who's going to cure a disease and they don't even know it yet.
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There's someone out there who's going to inspire millions of people and they don't even know it yet.
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And if I can play even a tiny role in helping them get closer to that, then that's what I'm trying to dedicate my life to.
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Yeah, that that's amazing. I love that.
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That's like a perfect answer.
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But you you weren't always a purpose coach.
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You had a you had kind of a second act.
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You know, I didn't we call second acts.
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I'm always about we we we wrote that movie with this whole idea in mind of like you can do many things.
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So, how did how did you get to where you are today?
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I thought I was going to be in business because it was the safe option.
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And then I completely went on to the other side and rebelled and then went and lived as a monk.
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And then I came back to the real world 3 years on where I found more stability back in the world of management and business.
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And then I found that that wasn't my true calling.
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What drew me to the purpose work is that I saw a lot of pain in humanity.
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And the source of that pain was a lack of education.
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People were just never given the tools.
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So, if you think about it, we have a class for biology, but we don't have a class for the heart or emotions.
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We have a class for math, have a whole school for that.
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Yeah, Yeah, they have a whole school for that.
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I always say, why don't they teach kids from very young to love themselves?
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I'm I'm with you on that.
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That's You should start that school. Or course or something.
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I remember when I was like going through therapy at the beginning, you know, you know, kind of like in my late 30s and I and it was there was a lot of talk about loving yourself.
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And I was like, I love myself.
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But obviously I was doing all these things in like my personal relationships that didn't seem like I was loving myself.
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But so I didn't even understand the concept of it.
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And it took time and it's a journey and it's still a journey for me.
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How do you feel that, you know, people are struggling obviously as you know, as as we're aware?
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How do do you feel like finding your calling and purpose happens at difficult times and at tough times?
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Is that the right time to open your mind and heart up to that?
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Is there ever a right time?
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You know, this is such a tough moment.
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It's a very tough moment and uh and and the whole year has been tough.
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But, many of us, if we're lucky, one of the blessings of 2020 was that we had a moment of pause.
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There was a moment where we could just stop for a second and we could look inward.
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Even if it was just taking a few moments every day to to take stock in those things and to prioritize what was really important in our lives, our family, our kids, you know, and and not only see what you want, but more importantly, who you want to be when it all comes back around.
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It's a great insight, great advice.
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Let's talk more about the words calling and purpose, all right?
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Because that's what this month is about.
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How would you define them?
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It's not the same thing as as career, for example.
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Yeah, I I think there's a difference between a calling and a career because a career feels like something you're always pushing.
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Like you're like pushing it, trying to make it work.
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And a calling feels like something that's pulling you closer to it.
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Like it feels like you're being pulled towards it.
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And so, but I I have to say that I do feel careers can evolve into callings.
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And so, I often find that when people just start on their career, and rather than feeling like, "Oh my gosh, my calling's so far away or my purpose is so far away, let me just learn what I can from this because it's going to be useful later.
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There's going to be some part of it that's actually powerful for my future."
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And so, I think that's how they connect and overlap.
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I think when you when you take on any job or anything that you have to do, even if if it's like, "Well, this doesn't feel right."
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If you put your heart and soul into it and you do the best you can do, you're going to get something out of it.
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It's going to lead to something else.
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And when you're trying to be, like I said, you have to try to be the greatest of all time.
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Like you have to aim for that.
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And that's what I am and when you're aiming for that, all of a sudden as an actor, you're like, when you're aiming to be the best actor you can, you realize that you have to learn what it is to direct.
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You have to learn what it is to produce.
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You have to understand what it is to be the set designer, to be all cuz all of it works together and you wind up, you know, growing and growing and evolving and evolving just because you're open to being the greatest in the job that you have right there.
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It seems like even in your new single in the morning, you speak to metamorphosis and it seems like what I'm hearing from you today is that everything's highly intentional.
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You're picking things because they seem deeply purposeful.
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Have you always been like that?
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Has that always been the way you've approached everything in life where it feels deeply intentional?
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Yeah, I think because you know, I started as a dancer.
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And I wasn't always the best dancer.
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I was a great dancer, but I wasn't the best dancer, you know, and everybody's so competitive in these fields, right?
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But I knew that every from the beginning because of that, I I put something extra into it. I put my heart into it. I put my soul into it.
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Into each move there was a a purpose behind it.
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Like everything had to speak something and I learned that early on when I was when I was dancing from when I was very young that I had to for it to affect people since I couldn't kick my leg the highest cuz I couldn't jump and make the split the highest that I had to have something else that was connecting because that at the end of the day doesn't really matter.
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What I realized what matters was actually, you know, connecting in a way and putting a passion into each move and making everything mean something.
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Everything I do, I want it to have a a purpose to it.
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I I really want to remind people to own their power always.
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You know, morning to evening, it's not it's not just when you're in the spotlight.
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It's like being your best self at every moment, you know, even when the cameras are not on.
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I think I love hearing you say that you weren't you didn't think that you were the best dancer because I think there's a lot of people just hearing that and going uh you know like just taking the pressure off of like thinking that you have to have thought you were the best from that point on. So, I I did that. to be the best.
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I think that's an important key.
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But, you don't have to be the best to to have success.
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To have you just have to not give up. You have to keep going.
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You have to always just know that you have something special to offer.
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But, you have to strive I think striving to be the best is is part of the secret.
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When I've watched you, whether I've been watching your interviews or your performances, I always feel like it's more than entertainment.
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It's it's more about empowerment.
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Tell me about what's going on in your mind and what you want people to experience when you ask them to dream on.
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My mantra for this year, one of them cuz I always have many, I always have many, is to dream on.
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I really believe 2021 can bring change and healing.
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And my dream is that you know, together this year we can make a more unified, more loving, more accepting, more understanding world.
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I always want to inspire inspire different things in people and whether it's to make them laugh or cry, affect them in some way.
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And in these times um where all of us can feel lost, I I wanted to give people some hope and some direction.
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And I'm interested to hear about how you go there in your creative process because to be able to do that, it means you're having to go through things yourself.
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You're having to feel things.
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Yeah, the creative process for me, especially in building a show or a performance, is is really a a many-layered, you know, process for me.
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I don't think anything has an impact if you're not 100% in it and behind it.
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So, when I'm creating something, I I do it because I love it and I love the moment-to-moment connection that I get with with the audience, whether it's through a song or a movie or a live performance.
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I want it to be successful, of course, and I want to do my best, but I believe that that things that resonate with me will resonate with other people.
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And when you make choices that way, yeah, there's always some risk involved.
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Some people are going to love it, some people are going to hate it. Whatever.
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But I I don't let that worry kind of overcome me, you know, is this the right choice or should I be more cautious?
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Cuz I want to feel passionate about the things I create and I and I think that that that shows in my work.
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Yeah, one of one of the things that really resonated with me was when on the last day of 2020, you used the launch of your J Lo Beauty brand to tell people to literally wash away 2020.
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Like ceremoniously, right?
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Like And I feel like everybody needed to do that. Go ahead, I'm sorry. I I agree with you.
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Everyone needed to do that.
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What do you think you were washing away in 2020 or what were you letting go of in 2020?
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With the launch, because it was on January 1st and because it was a symbolic kind of new beginning of a new year, that the idea of washing away the year before, which is 2020, which was a year we all wanted to wash away, it it was it was a chance to kind of wash away some of the pain, some of the uncertainty, some of the fear that we've all been experiencing this year.
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It was a chance to just wash away the energy of that year and really start fresh and know that that that that's possible.
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But we, as a collective, have experienced a lot of trauma over the past year, physical, emotional, psychological.
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Is is there such a thing, do you think, as universal healing?
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How do we move forward with purpose as you know, because we're all emotional works in progress. I love that.
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I'm so glad you asked me that question.
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There's a There's a beautiful thing I read from a writer called Russell Barkley.
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And in it he says that people who need the most love often ask for it in the most unloving ways.
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And And And I thought about that.
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I think about that a lot about how every cry for attention is a cry for love.
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Every cry for validation is a cry for love.
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Every act of pain or hurt to someone in in one way or another is a deep cry for love.
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also like it's just not a cry.
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Sometimes it's like that person who's really angry.
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The person who's like really angry, you're like, "You just need a hug."
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Like you don't give me Let me give you a hug right now. Like you can just tell.
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YEAH, IT IS EXACTLY THAT.
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Now I know exactly what you mean.
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I I find that a lot of people right now feel this pressure to find their purpose.
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When someone's feeling pressure, like if someone's sitting there and they're going, "Oh gosh, I just don't know what my purpose is.
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I feel so far away from it."
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How do you deal with that pressure of redefining your purpose and evolving?
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People always like, "Oh, she reinvents herself."
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Like there's a reinvention. I don't like that word.
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I'm not reinventing or trying to be something different or trying to trick people into like something new.
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It's just It's an evolving. Right?
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So when you're talking about a calling or purpose, there's there's there's a lot of pressure around it, right?
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The most important thing is that you have to listen to yourself.
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And the words that you tell yourself, because what you say and what you think, and I tell this to my kids all the time, becomes your reality.
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If you're telling yourself you're, you know, "I'm going to be this" or "I'm going to be that" or you're telling yourself, "I'm a loser," then you'll be a loser.
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Whatever it is, you tell yourself that and it will manifest.
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I really believe that we create our lives.
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Again, not just with our actions and the things we do, but the things we think and the self-talk that we give.
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Being in this business where people are always trying to tell you what you should and shouldn't do, you really have to have a strong sense of self and gut and instinct and follow that.
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about listening to the inner voice, but we also have to listen to voices around us, surrounding ourselves with the right mentors.
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Tell us about what coach it forward means to you.
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I mean, it's about really telling people in your life, taking the time to let the people in your life know that they've impacted your life.
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That to me is such a beautiful idea and why I love being associated and working with them because they're always thinking about kind of more, just not, you know, the the brand itself, but what the brand stands for and its social good. And uh and I love that.
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And I love this idea of coach it forward.
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I mean, we all know what pay it forward means.
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It's like you have a blessing and you somehow pay it forward selflessly to somebody else. And I love that idea.
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But I also love the idea of coach it forward, which is just, you know, simple as picking up the phone and calling somebody and said and saying, "You make my everyday better."
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I I would say who I talk to everyday, maybe multiple times a day, is my producing partner and one of my very best friends, Elaine Goldsmith Thomas.
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And she just pumps me up everyday.
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She just, you know, she goes, "I feel like I have to remind you all the time because you're so hard on yourself and you're such a perfectionist.
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I want to remind you that you're doing great."
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It's good, you know, cuz I'm always like, "Ugh, got to do this. I didn't do that."
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But but she's like, "You're a good mom.
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You're a good, you know, person."
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You know, and it's important to have people like that in your life.
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And so, I'm saying to Elaine right now, I love you and I love what you bring to my life and um everything about you and how you make me feel is priceless to me in my life. I love that.
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That's That's beautiful to hear.
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And I'm so glad that that gratitude was personalized and specific.
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Like that's when it works.
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Like studies show that when you're actually specific about gratitude and it's so personal and I could see when you were talking about them it was just pouring out from your heart.
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Like that's when gratitude is beautifully received and given.
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Like you feel as as much joy giving gratitude as the person feels receiving it.
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But Jennifer, thank you so much for your time today and to join me in this first ever episode of coach conversations.
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I feel like we were able to dive so deeply into purpose and calling, but I want to end with a quick fire round of fill in the blanks.
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I'm going to ask you a question and you're going to ask me a question.
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My favorite affirmation is I am open and receptive to all the goodness and abundance that the universe has to offer. Oh, I love that one. That's beautiful. Yours.
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My biggest cheerleader is My mom, my my sister, my wife probably.
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I'd have to go with family.
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So yours, my favorite dance move is I don't have a favorite dance move.
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I think the thing that I'm probably known for is is maybe the booty shake. Okay, um yours.
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The first thing I do in the morning is Uh avoid looking at my phone. Oh, yeah. That's a good one. Okay, this is for you.
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I I laugh most when When I'm with my mother.
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Yeah, she makes she literally makes me laugh out loud.
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Okay, um for you My favorite J.
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Lo song is Uh that's a tough one.
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I'd have to say the one I played the most is I'm going to be all right.
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I think that HAS TO BE MY that has to be my favorite song. I wrote that song. Oh my god.
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Yeah, I love that song, too.
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I think the message the messaging, the the meaning behind it still to this day.
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I can put it on any time in the car, at the gym, when I'm walking around and and that song is like it gets me in the zone. So, Thank you. Thank you. I love that.
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That is so you're a real you really did know a song. Last question.
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My calling in one word is Uh it's it's too hard one word. Okay, one sentence. One sentence. Okay.
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My calling in one sentence is like I said, it's to empower, inspire, entertain, and put out into the world a message of love.
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Thank you to everyone who's been watching this today.
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And I'm so, honestly, deeply grateful for this time we got to spend together.
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And I'm excited to see if we can start a school together to to help people find those emotional skills and emotional abilities.
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But everyone who's been watching today, make sure you subscribe.
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Make sure you share this conversation.
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And make sure you share the insights and the inspiration from Jennifer that really resonated and stuck with you.
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Because when you pass it on, when you pay it forward, when you coach it forward, it allows you to build meaningful relationships with everyone in your life.
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Thank you so much for watching.
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And a big thank you to Jennifer for being here with us.
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If you want even more videos just like this one, make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here.
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I'm also excited to let you know that you can now get my book Think Like a Monk from thinklikeamonkbook. com.
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Check below in the description to make sure you order today.