just give me one minute - this is usually the present show where people need my glasses are steaming up a little hey what's going on everybody for first we feast I'm Sean Evans and you're watching hot ones the show with hot questions and even hotter wings and
today I'm joined by comedian David Cross he's finishing up the making America great again torn if you missed it don't worry cuz there's a Netflix special August 5th making America great again David welcome to the show thank you for having me my wife is not happy that I'm doing this she's no no
she has tried numerous times to persuade me to not do it well let me ask you this why'd you decide to do it I kind of like a challenge I like experiencing things that are very extreme and you know at least once so you know I watched like four or five of
these clips you can see people it stops them in the tracks and I know going into this it's not gonna be pleasant could be good 24 hours and just ass on fire just literally flames like a blue butane you know you could cut steel with what's going to happen eventually so let's uh
let's try it out I got a compliment you first of all on your production value it's fantastic do you mean it no I mean these wings look like the kind of wings you get at Madison Square Garden in the early 70s yeah just up behind the curtains I know
what a great experience it is to be on our show the making American great tour your first time on the road and what six years yeah it was a little under six but rounded up to six what did you miss most about being on the road wouldn't you miss least the thing I miss
most was getting to do sets where you go to people Bob loaded Kirk and I would do these little mini tours and then they would always be just like East Coast cities West Coast cities and you really feel kind of guilty people like we drove seven hours you know this is the closest
you're coming and and it really is nice to be able to go to two people the thing that I miss that I that I missed the least about it is then it happened a couple times we get depressed and kind of spiral into this little depression where it's usually in the middle of the
tour you're on your you know 12th show in a row and you really truly don't know what town you're in what time zone you're in and there's nothing to do that can get really oppressive you know jerking off watching 24-hour news whatever not not in that order not
simultaneously oh yeah definitely yeah yeah but not exactly in that order do y'all have toothpicks by any chance that's all right I'll wait till the end I it's my shitty British teeth or catching all this stuff I know that you're a big fan of the Sky Mall so much
stupid [ __ ] in it I love it I went oh Jesus it it it went bankrupt but you can still order online okay good I want to show you some items and just react to them tell me if you think you'd buy tell them if you think it should have been invented not invented just whatever I
just want to show you some that I think a you might have these out of SkyMall oh all the Marla's SkyMall okay a replica of the Oval Office desk if that's the president's where's like the cubby hole for the girl though where does it see Monica yeah yeah where would she well
they all had one don't be not just Bill Clinton looking at a [ __ ] for 5415 dollars what do you think of that money well spent for sure especially if you're doing kind of a Mission Impossible thing where you've kidnapped somebody and you know they come to and you're trying to
convince them they're in a room like this you know and try and commit some that you're the president that they've been asleep for you know 16 years and probably cheap for that kind of thing outside of that use then no they have a bunch ads racist I don't know what
you're showing me but that's [ __ ] racist a giant male silverback gorilla statue with a thousand seven hundred and seven dollars white cheerleaders it is weird but in frame at this and after harambe come on man have a hearts got pleases when you're thumbing through do
you ever see those cuz sometimes they'll have like an elephant that weighs 800 pounds and there's like 15 feet tall that you're just supposed to put in your yard I guess yeah well I love my favorite is the the creepy zombie thing that's like the grapes like who like
Sasquatch looking behind a tree and stuff it's a heated hoodie with a power bank on sale for 144 dollars that's that's one way to do it but you could also if you were really cold uh put something over the hoodie like a coat or something like that
if only they vented something yeah do you think like who buys these things are like who never what about this when you do an international leg of a tour are there certain towns that seem to like David Cross more than others people had told me oh they're more reserved in
Europe especially in Scandinavia and the last four shows I did were in fall in Scandinavia and I've been told like by number of people yeah Scandinavian audiences are very reserved you know they'll love you but they'll respect you and they're not gonna whatever and they
were great they were the best shows I had the throughout the whole thing they were like it was very raucous and those last three were fantastic pain is good louisiana-style so your movie hits it really Lampoon's modern-day celebrity culture what do you think the consequences are of
celebrating the anti-intellectual the way that we seem to do in 2016 you have a narcissistic kind of self-centered nothing we didn't have that already but I think it just it facilitates that negative part of you know society at the risk of sounding like a grandpa I feel
like there really is that kind of like put your [ __ ] phones down and you're looking at some beautiful pictures of nature or you know this thing and you're in it just put it down and observe you know and that's kind of depressing when you see a lot of that oh sure dork
mm-hmm mm-hmm how do you make a hot tub glad you asked that's good right yeah it's got almost got like a tomato easing we wanted it to be kind of hot so we have it hot but then we undercut it with like a pineapple citrus blend so it kind of Trojan it horses in that heat I
lights up your mouth and we got you a bottle so you can take one home a hedonist exclusive they distribute it and then homeboys hot sauce oh there's your name on there right on my name god I like this a lot as far as my question you know mr. show is considered by many
to be you know one of the best sketch comedy shows that's ever been made and I don't know if you're aware of this but it has kind of a second life because every once in a while you'll see these little articles pop up it's like yeah the the Ru pretty bad I'm sorry to
interrupt no I want you to finish it then mr. show comes true like yeah particular feature yeah yeah there's all these sketches that you guys did and then they've somehow think their theory list is like 14 or 15 at this point I have a couple a handful that I want to
bounce off of you and I just want to know it were you surprised to see that idea sort of come to life do you remember the Marilyn Manson pizza party and mozzarella employees are fun fellas extroverts who make their own rules and then there's this thing alice cooper's up in theirs town i've been
there in denver how do you think the women have to kind of wear a cross between like sexy referee or umpire outfits but with like Alice Cooper I like if it's quickly cleared it's a very specific fetish how surprised on a scale from one to ten four point six eight
four point six eight good baby massages remember yet the crazy died yes I have I when I was in London working on Todd mirga the first time for a second year was there I got a photo of it you know Dada Dada Dada and baby decide when we wrote that that was just made us all
laugh that absurd idea of like you know Jay Johnston massaging a baby and people like yes it's wonderful for the baby it's very good for its development how crazy and absurd is that an infant on a scale from one to ten how surprised were you on that one six point zero seven
okay you had that sketch about the government blowing up the moon America can should must and will blow up the moon and then I don't know if you saw but they kind of uncovered that there's this Cold War mission yeah to nuke the moon and everything that I've read about
it that was just to show how big our balls are like I thinking that was the reason that was a ten on the shot today that was a ridiculous comedy bit that was crazy the other ones I can sort of get but that one is insane this is High River rogue and this is where the game
starts I went rogue uh and Boulder they opened up for leftovers and this seems to be such a heated and divisive election year is someone who's done political commentary and satire for decades is there something unique about now we're getting in a hut that's what
I'm saying okay how does making people laugh in this election year compared to making people laugh in other election years when I started the tour it was in late January and Trump was still a punchline like this will never happen right at that point they were still I
think a good seven or eight people left maybe nine and then he became the candidate and that would that all happened in the course of the American part of the tour and this tour had more people that were less familiar with my stand-up work than the last couple of
tours and so I had a lot of walkouts on this tour some quiet some very noisy disruptive but there were walkouts concerts this one is paying 100 percent to me it's the worst tasting hot sauce it's not the hottest hot sauce but it is just a bad taste there tickled burnt my
god there are several layers levels of pain the pain levels are marked with a percentage of oh Jesus of a pain you experience I can't believe that's a selling point so you play the voice of zero in grand theft auto san andreas yeah nothing is up Carl apart from my
blood pressure I know that you're a big fan of Vice City which is kind of how you were able to work your way into San Andreas I cornered um his name is Shawn I camera from Rockstar yeah I cornered him drunk ed uh I think it was MX fish one night I was like I'm a huge fan I love it I'll do anything
I'll work scale whatever you know san andreas versus Vice City kind of pops up which do you prefer and why I here's here's why I slightly favored by City I thought the extra acting the things that people said and the and the voices were better and by City I love the hey
mr. V that guy [ __ ] kill me all Tyra Tommy come out of the mansion hey it's mr. B you know your mission is a wordy tough I just stopped and you do not listen nope I stopped I tried to cheat I could not listen to myself it was so annoying so annoying don't let him get
away punish him for his war crime hey I can I haven't heard it in years but so you're haunted by your own voice hated it and I couldn't [ __ ] do it the RC car thing for the planes impossible it's ridiculous and it's the most annoying voice you could ever imagine accompanying that
smells like victory to bomb beyond insanity is it what is there such a thing what is beyond it so let's find out so this one kind of taste it either mm-hmm none of them are good from here on out I saw you post a pic from what the grit in Athens Georgia would you get
the golden bone yeah I don't like that one Jesus I may need a do-rag - it's like a leaky tap my head sweat going yeah that's awful beyond insanity dude I don't even know what that is it's inconceivable can't conceive of it what's beyond insanity I don't know man
you tell me [ __ ] how would you describe beyond insanity I describe it as hot habanero peppers relatable smokey 20 members after the brunch based on the Blessed Mother classical music product of Kansas well those do things don't really go together I thought with all the juice
you have can you ever cut that line at Franklin's barbecue in Austin nobody can ever cut that line President Obama I think is the only one who's ever done it I never came in and cut in but when the very first time in which Franklin's which is astoundingly great absolutely
perfect somebody said Oh David Cross series would want to come down and and they have a table in the back and go kind of behind Franklin's there's like a little picnic table I never literally cut in line but we went to the back table and they said and they was
fantastic they don't do that for everybody no it was very nice so where is my wife and I and some friends and take some folks from Austin I mean it key exemplary it was the best of the best holding together yep this is Mad Dog 357 it used to be our hottest sauce
now it's our second hottest sauce so great all right ah so just knowing you and your sensibilities I think that you'd maybe be the worst in my job that isn't creative or isn't what you're doing what's the worst job you've ever had I've had lots and lots of nods I hereby
disclaim release and relinquish any and all claims and actions and lawsuits why would anybody it's not what's the point it doesn't taste good no it's unpleasant right and it's it ruins everything it touches like chocolate okay let's go all right worst job I would say actually the
worst job ever had was during the heat wave in Chicago in the mid-80s where a bunch of people died and I was in a warehouse working with terrible people one time we had to take a truck load it up this big big truck the guy who was driving any time we'd be at a light
crosswalk and would yell out to women yo [ __ ] uh lift up that dress let me see that mess and then like let me see that mess and I'm implicated but lift up that dress let me see that mess yo [ __ ] lift up that dress let me see that mess yeah and by proxy your you know guilt by
association I'm just like oh my god it's awful don't do that what what's up bro come on he's one of those real bro guys and that was like like my boss so you do it man how do you do this is it how do I often you take these things weekly so now that I've done so many
yeah I feel like I'm probably desensitized from just lighting my mouth on fire once a week and then the other part of it is I feel like a sense of responsibility not only for the audience but for you you're a busy and talented dude I don't want to let you down either
you know what I mean I don't want to let you down I don't want to let the people down there's just a lot of pressure and when you have that kind of pressure you can do amazing things I'm doing better than I expected certainly stomach wise but matte lips
really catching on the face so this is Megadeath sauce with liquid rage before you take the bite you don't have to if you don't want to but I like to dab the last wing for the pink pull out I'll let you do mine I get nervous doing other people's cuz I'm like cool I'm not the first person
to ask that Carly Aquilino had me do hers too not David Cross I won't I'm just having you do it because I imagine you're gonna do it less than I would do boom that already looks scary yeah all right okay so now before I ask this question let me just break it down
so of course you put the great device for you but this thing is so hot crack the lid on this thing Jesus or maybe I'm just so strong that I the tork am i screwing I think it's the former okay you played the great device for UK and Arrested Development fans are
kind of like Star Wars fans and are kind of like Game of Thrones fans where some of that fan base kind of knows more about the show oh for sure then the people who made it and the people who are in it what I want to do is we take a bite of this wing and I want to hit you with some Arrested
Development fan trivia okay and see if you can answer it with your face on fire okay okay I feel like you're two out of three on this okay so I'm gonna say before okay alright cheers David all right get to the end now the worst this series of self-help videos that George
senior stars and and produces from prison I don't remember caged wisdom cage was caged wisdom alright ready this is oh can we get to our three-year michael negotiates the licensing rights to this cartoon character away from joe oh the the banana the banana grabber
thank you and then if george senior has to rush out for milk he might accidentally run someone over and knock off his arm and that's why you always leave a note leave no no yeah alright David yeah you made it through how'd you do better than you thought you would
worse than you think Evan definitely better than I thought how does how does this company make money because it's not like you're gonna go through a bottle every month or so a long time a lifetime yeah Megadeth with liquid exuding the difference I've had regular Megadeth
sauce didn't care for it when they added the liquid rage that's what that's what got me that's what made you across the via all right David you made it through the floor is yours let the people know what you got going on in your life starting on the 5th of August you can
check out my comedy specials yeah taped it in April in Austin Texas it's called making America great again and hopefully they'll be in the audio release at some point when I could figure that part out thanks for coming through David yeah man you