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What's going to happen?
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WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
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YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT REAL DANGER LOOKS LIKE ANYMORE.
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HEY, WHAT'S GOING on everybody?
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From First We Feast, I'm Sean Evans and you're watching Hot Ones.
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It's the show with hot questions and even hotter wings.
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And today we close out season 23 with Conan O'Brien.
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He's an Emmy award-winning talk show host who had nearly three decade-long run on late night.
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You can keep up with him these days on Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever you get your podcasts.
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He also has a brand new travel show visiting Conan fans all over the world.
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It's called Conan O'Brien Must Go and it's set to release on Max April 18th.
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Conan O'Brien, welcome to the show.
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Sean, thanks for having me. I appreciate it.
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I ask in good faith, how are you around hot sauce before we get started?
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up in an Irish house and an Irish Catholic home in Boston.
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I never saw a spice till I was about 52 years old.
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So, I'm terrible with hot food.
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I I grew up on tasteless food.
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So, this is a whole new experience for me.
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If you don't mind, Sean, I'd like to get a quick baseline read. Mhm.
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I brought my personal physician, Dr. Arroyo. This is Dr. Arroyo. Hi. How are you? Amazing. Hi. Nice to meet you.
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You don't have to talk to him, just to me.
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Um just get a baseline temperature. What are we looking at? 97. 8 97. 8. I run a little cool. Yeah. You'll be fine.
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Um also, he's been my doctor for about 25 years. Yeah, yeah.
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Where did you go to medical school? Uh in 1998. Where? Where? Oh, um out of state. You should go. Okay. I apologize. Dr.
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Arroyo, he's not the best, but he's very affordable. Okay. All right. Get nothing here. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
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And this is what you got?
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I guess this is where you start, right?
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I don't fear your wings, man.
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Bring what you got, okay?
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So, the travelogue is taking on these Go ahead. Go ahead.
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Let's get spots for him, yeah.
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So, the travelogue is taking on so many different forms from the anthropological approach of someone like Anthony Bourdain to the thrill-seeking perspective of a personality like Bear Grylls. Yes.
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How would you define comedy's role in the genre?
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Like, is it a hack being funny and connecting with new people and cultures? I love travel.
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And my mission is that you learn nothing about the country.
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My job is that you know less about the country after I'm done than when I started.
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So, that's why I love this new show is Max just let us go for it.
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And uh we visited a bunch of countries and uh you're dumber.
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You're dumber after you see the show.
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But, we had a lot of fun.
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Was there anything intentional about releasing the show on your birthday?
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Or is that just a charming coincidence?
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Thank you for doing your research.
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Um it was a total coincidence.
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HBO Max called us Is it HBO Max or just Max?
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I think it's just straight Max. I can't get used to it. It's not a better name.
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Anyway, uh Max said um Max, that really rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?
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It is kind of personal cuz it's just like someone's name, you know what I mean?
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Uh Max this said, "Hey, you're you're going to drop" I think that's what the kids say.
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Uh on April 18th, and I said, "Hey, that's my birthday." And they went, "Huh."
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So, I don't think it was anything intentional.
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It just happened to be my birthday.
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Well, happy birthday to you, Conan.
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Thank you so much, and thank Thank having me. I appreciate it.
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Are you ready to move on here to sauce number two on that note?
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Yeah, please cuz that first one I got nothing. What's this?
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What kind of sauce is this?
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So, this one is called Smokey Jay here. Smokey Jay. Smokey Jay.
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Anything I need to know about this sauce before I bite in?
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I think the less you know, the better. Okay. Okay, Smokey Jay. I like this so far. I am unfazed.
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You mind if I Yeah, no, go ahead.
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You want to have a bunch of them. Thank you.
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Take ownership from that side of the table. Go ahead.
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How often do you show up on location somewhere, right?
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You get to a destination and your first and immediate thought is how the hell am I going to make this funny? Often. That's 70%.
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70% of the time and what I call it, I talk to my head writer, Mike Sweeney, and I say, "You've brought me to a comedy vacuum. There's nothing here. You There's nothing."
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Once we were doing a shoot in Finland and I was in the Arctic Circle and I was standing on a tundra and in the distance about 400 yd away were some reindeer and my producers just said, "And go." And I'm looking around.
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And I'm like, "What What am I supposed to do?
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Improv with a sheet of ice?"
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But in those situations sometimes when you think it's going to go very badly, it goes well.
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Sometimes you think, "Oh my god, I have it made.
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This is the perfect remote."
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And you can't get anything.
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So, it's always going to a Vegas craps table. You never know. Mhm.
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Again, it's called Hot Ones.
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What the [ __ ] going on? This is nothing.
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I'LL REMEMBER THESE NOTHING.
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I'll remember THESE WORDS, CONAN.
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CONAN'S GOING TO GET HOME.
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HE'S GOING to have a hot This isn't even I've yet to have any spice at all. And you know what?
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I've got a little eye watering.
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I think you're going to teach me I I think That's what's happening.
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I get that from just about everyone in your demographic. Right. Yeah, go ahead. There you go. Got three in there. Yeah.
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So on a late night show, when you see the host toss to commercial, right?
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And then they lean in and they talk to the guest with the mics cut.
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Is that usually like a real chat?
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And if so, what are some of the go-to on the host.
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In the old days, back in the days when I was doing it there was just a couple of us.
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Oftentimes there wasn't much chat. Really not much at all.
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You know, if you were talking to a Letterman, he wouldn't say too much.
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The other guy, you know, I don't know where he was, but I always tried to make something happen.
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I tried to keep the rhythm going.
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And sometimes if I couldn't get them interested, I'd try and say something provocative.
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Like I bet you live four more years tops.
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And you could see them get a little rattled and the band would be playing, but I just wanted to keep them alert.
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But I remember I said that to Bea Arthur and I was right. Bea Arthur?
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You said that to Bea Arthur?
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Yeah, I said four years tops.
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And it was three years, 11 months. The sands of time. Yeah. Well, I'll say this.
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I know you This is important for me to say. I've watched your show.
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You are a very good interviewer. Thank you.
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And so, without this, I mean this is fun.
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I like this and I get why you guys do it and it's really fun and it's compelling, but you are a very serious interviewer.
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You take it seriously and you ask really good questions. So, Thank you.
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I'm very impressed with your dedication to it. Damn. Yeah. Wow.
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Yeah, we'll we'll shut that out. It won't make it in. No laughs there. What is this called? This is Los Calientes. Los Calientes? Okay, very nice. Dr. Royal. Yes, sir.
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Just going to get a baseline pulse here. Yeah.
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It's getting starting to race a little bit. Sure.
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You're You're just choking. You're just choking. I'm so sorry. No, no.
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You just feel for the pulse. Yeah.
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This assistant has been with me for a long time, but Yeah, it's there. Okay. He's very good. Very inexpensive. I can tell. Yeah.
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He has a office in the desert.
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What do you think is the most annoying trait or thing a guest can do when appearing on a talk show?
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The worst thing a guest can do is tell the audience it's not going well. Mhm.
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I've seen it happen many times. It's an amateur move.
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Uh because the host can do a lot to let people think it's going great, even if it's not.
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That There are many things the host can do.
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The host can be enjoying.
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The host can act a little bit. The host can do things.
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Audiences want to see a good show.
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They want to see a good interview.
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And uh I was always amazed when someone would come out and they'd be doing okay.
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And they'd make a couple of jokes, and it's fine.
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And then they would just go, and they would look right out to camera, and they would say, "This just isn't going very well, is it?"
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And you could feel I would look out at the audience, maybe 200 people sitting there, and I'd see 200 souls leave 200 bodies and float up through the ceiling.
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Because they were They were They were just told they were not getting a good show. Right.
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No, that's not show business.
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Show business is you're getting the greatest show in the world.
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I don't think there's a wing here that I can't eat like it's ice cream.
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I I seriously, I don't think there's a wing on this table that I cannot devour like it's cool whip cream on an August afternoon. Okay?
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You're like a Ric Flair cutting a promo right now. All right?
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That's the energy that I'm You're really challenging the wings on Dr.
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Royal, please, could you step in?
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My pocket's getting full. Oh, yeah, of course.
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Is there a most harrowing encounter with wildlife that you can recall from all the times that you had animal experts on the show? Yes.
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It happened during the Turner phase of of my career.
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We had someone who brought a lot of animals on and one of them was a water buffalo. Massive beast.
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And I'm standing next to it and I said, "Well, I don't even know what we do with it."
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And someone, a producer, just said, "Well, just hop up on it." I mean, rehearsal mode.
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So, you just do what you're told.
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And as I'm getting up on it, Andy said, "Don't get on that."
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But, of course, I never listen to Andy. to commit to the bit.
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So, I get up on the water buffalo and as my ass hits the water buffalo, beasts this size, it freaks.
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It tosses me up into the air. We had it on camera.
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I go up and I come down on my hip on a cement floor.
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And as you know, in a studio, cement it's poured concrete so the cameras can roll. So, I bounce off my hip. It really [ __ ] hurt.
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Water buffalo makes this bellowing sound, charges, everyone runs away, all the camera men run away, takes out a camera.
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Camera people are scrambling and slips and falls, then gets up and looks at me. I am lying on the floor.
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I jump and I run in the other direction and leap over the talk show couch.
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I had a hematoma on my hip that was so big I couldn't get my jeans on or off.
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So, they like had to cut me out of my jeans.
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It was this giant and I just kept thinking, "Why?"
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It's because you do a show every day.
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You get into the let's go, let's go, um, let's get this thing going and I'm there and I'm just thinking about the next thing and a voice just said, "Hop on." And I did. False sense of security.
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Just the rhythm of the show. Absolute idiocy.
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But, um, I lived to tell the tale.
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And uh the water buffalo and I made amends. We're good now. Mhm. Mhm. Great. Fantastic. to I love it. I love it.
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know what else to do with my hands.
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I know, you might be running out of pockets.
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Thankfully, you do have a lot of them over That's okay. We got pockets.
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Do you take any kind of perverse pride in the sheer number of hours of television that you've created?
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I was never that excited about volume.
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I It to me, it's whether it's good or not or you know, and and so to me it was much more stay focused on let's really try and keep trying to make something that's really memorable that will stick around and and then get back to it.
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And what I'm interested in is how it looks in the rearview for you.
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Like, does it all fit neatly into distinct eras or is it all kind of a blur?
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I would say there were eras, there's the early era in '93 to '95 where I'm uh in living in sheer terror all the time because I'm waiting for a phone call any second that I've been canceled.
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So, that is a real era that whole run, Rockefeller Center feels like an era.
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All the craziness I went through in whatever 2010 is a distinct chapter.
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Turner's a distinct chapter.
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Um, getting to do the podcast, which I love, sitting down and getting to talk to somebody for an hour is such a joy after almost three decades of That was great. Thanks a lot.
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Okay, we're going to take a little break. We'll be right back.
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And you do do do do be do be do, you know?
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That uh that I loved it, but I love this a lot.
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Different kind of muscle.
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now and I love trying this.
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And then with this new Max show coming out April 18th, um, I just like that we're really getting the resources to do one of these the way I always wanted to do it.
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So, uh yeah, I would say they they look like very distinct, separate times.
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But, my hands are all Hold on a sec. The Dr. Arroyo. Come in this place. Multi-faceted doctor. Thank you, doctor. Woah. What's going to happen?
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What's wrong with you people?
13:50
You don't know what real danger looks like anymore. Incredible. Yeah.
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So, my question to you is is there a point when these get warm? Just a little bit warm. Anything at all. Incredible. Incredible.
14:08
Oh, here's a question for you.
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Is it true that while writing at SNL that you would sometimes go downstairs to Letterman's 6A studio and then write material from his desk at the studio? would sit.
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They had like a a covering over his desk to protect it from any [ __ ] And so, we were our studios were at 9:00 and I would go down to his was in 6A, which is the studio I eventually took over, but I didn't know that was going to happen.
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And I would sit at Dave's desk and I had Dave's perspective and I would sit there and I would work on a sketch.
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And then this crazy situation develops.
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One in a billion chance where I get a chance to audition for that show and then get it.
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But if you would told me that when I was sitting behind Dave's desk as a Saturday Night Live writer I would've said there's no way.
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I'd also said there's no way there's ever going to be a Charlie Rose show where you eat hot wings.
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But I'd been I would have been wrong both times. That's exactly right.
15:09
You can't predict the future.
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You just don't know what's going to happen.
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connect the dots looking back, never looking forward.
15:16
When you took over that 6A studio, did you see any remnants of the old guard?
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Were there like pencils stuck in the ceiling or anything like no, cuz they put us in different offices, so we were not in Dave's offices, but we had his studio.
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There weren't remnants, but there were physical remnants, there were people.
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There were camera people.
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There was this guy Bailey who was a cameraman who'd been with Dave the whole time.
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And so he was our cameraman.
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I'll never forget that we kept coming up with these ideas that were much more involved a lot of running around.
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I was kinetic, Robert's kinetic, the writers we hired were very kinetic. I would just turn 30.
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So all my ideas were I've got an idea, I start running and the camera's running with me and I jump out the window and the cameraman jumps, too.
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And Bailey, who had been there probably since the '50s and was used to watching, you know, shooting, I don't know, some Edward R.
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Murrow smoke a cigarette down to the filter, no filter, no filter. It's Edward R. Murrow, god dammit.
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That's what he was used to and then suddenly I'm here saying I've got an idea, Bailey, we're going to put rockets on your feet.
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And you're going to fire you down the hall. How old are you, BAILEY? 77.
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YEAH, IT'S GOING TO BE FUN, BAILEY. FUN. ARROYO, work before?
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You get that over to my hands, they're very slippery, come on.
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It was in a 4-year medical school? It was supposed to be. There you go. Choo choo. Ever graduate? He's gone. Oh my god. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.
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COME ON, MAN, ARE WE DOING THIS OR NOT? YEAH, NO, I'M WITH YOU. ARE WE DOING IT OR NOT?
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NO, I'M ON THE SAME PAGE.
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OF EVEN BEING ALIVE IF WE CAN'T DO THIS?
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RIGHT NOW, I REALLY DO FEEL ALIVE. I do feel alive. You're okay?
17:08
Yeah, yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you. Yeah.
17:10
I might hiccup through this whole thing. Yeah.
17:13
This one, I'm not going to lie, I'm feeling it a little bit. I'm feeling it. I'M FEELING THIS ONE. LITTLE TREMOR.
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IT'S JUST STARTING TO PEEK THROUGH, YOU KNOW?
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I'M FEELING IT A LITTLE little bit.
17:26
I can't stop thinking There's a little bit of a burning, but not much.
17:30
Which US president do you think would be the best podcast guest on Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend?
17:34
Say that You you tried to talk. Yeah.
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But your lips have been paralyzed and what I heard was "I have a hard time conversating and I have a hard time talking about I got that out.
17:43
I think maybe you're having a problem here.
17:46
No, I don't think it's me.
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I think I think everyone in the studio will agree.
17:51
Which US president do you think would make the best podcast guest on Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend?
17:55
Do they have to be living? No, of course not. Richard Nixon. Nixon?
17:58
Oh my god, it'd be fantastic.
18:00
He's such a comedy figure, when you think about it.
18:03
And we could get into Watergate and then he would try to be funny, like "I've got a funny idea."
18:07
You know, it'd be fantastic.
18:09
The voice alone, I would have to say probably uh Lincoln.
18:13
Can I just take a second and say this is starting to hurt? I think No, yeah.
18:17
Can I just say I don't know.
18:17
I don't have a lot of regrets in my career.
18:21
Pouring this onto the wing. Right. And then licking it off.
18:25
And in retrospect I bet you it's good footage. No, yeah. It's good It's good TV.
18:31
I'm starting to feel some sensations.
18:33
And and you know what, Conan, if you weren't so bragadocious in this front half, I probably would have stopped you from doing that.
18:38
You know, I would have protected you from yourself.
18:41
stop me from being who I am. That's exactly right.
18:45
I quote my my hero, Popeye, I am what I am, okay?
18:50
I said it and Gandhi said it and and Popeye.
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That is the That is who I am. I've got to go for it.
18:54
Whatever I do, I have to go 110% got to commit to the bit.
18:57
Got to commit to the a bit. THIS IS LIFE.
18:59
THIS SHOW IS THIS SHOW IS A [ __ ] NOT A BIT. IT'S YOUR SHOW.
19:03
DON'T SAY COMMIT TO THE BIT. This is life.
19:06
YOU GOT TO GRAB IT BY THE BALLS. NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?
19:10
WOULD YOU CHECK ON MY HAND JUST get a quick test of this. Yeah, it's not good. Not good?
19:16
Do you have anything beyond that?
19:19
No, he's Okay, I'll just take you at face value on that. Not good.
19:24
Yeah, I Yeah, he's He's not a good doctor.
19:26
He's an He's an affordable doctor.
19:29
Do you have a favorite mediocre president?
19:32
Uh Well, that's a good one. Mediocre president? That's so mean.
19:35
I'm going to go with Warren Harding. Okay. Good-looking guy.
19:43
He was in the Oval Office like 3 days and he wrote on a note, "I am not fit to be president. This job is too hard."
19:51
And then to solve matters, he takes a train trip and dies mysteriously cuz he ate some bad lobster.
19:55
So, you got to give it up for Warren G. Harding in my opinion. Right? Don't you think? No argument there.
20:02
Yeah, he knew he couldn't do the job and said, "You know what?
20:04
Has anyone got some lobster that's been out too long?
20:08
I want to eat it on a train where there's no refrigeration."
20:09
And that's what they did. Don't do it. Don't do the sauce? What's on the sauce? I can't get this open. There we go.
20:24
And a little bit of this on it? Yeah, go.
20:27
I'll join you at the bar.
20:30
That's the sound these Three Stooges used to make when they were doing anything destructive.
20:32
Everyone watch The Three Stooges? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mistake.
20:43
I like to announce my mistakes up front. This is not a mistake.
20:46
Nothing about this is a mistake.
20:48
Every step of the way, intentional. Incredible. Oh my god. SOMEONE SAVE ME. OH MY OH, MY GOD. OH, YEAH. YEAH. YEAH.
21:14
I'VE NEVER FELT THIS WAY. YEAH, THAT'S I LOVE IT. I love it. Me, too.
21:17
breath for the FIRST TIME IN 15 YEARS. This is to you. HEY, TO YOU. ALL THE WAY. OKAY, YEAH, you got it.
21:29
I mean, at this point what are you going to do?
21:33
This is what's Tell us what we're eating here.
21:36
So, this is the Last Dab experience.
21:36
It is made with almost pure Pepper X. Incredible. Oh, my gosh.
21:44
I got to join you at the party. Going out with a bang. You got to go.
21:49
Isn't this the season finale? You're exactly right.
21:51
There needs to be a fireworks display to close things out. Okay, here we go. Ready? I'm ready. Oh, my god.
22:06
You said this is pure pepper? Mhm.
22:09
So, there's nothing here. There's no insulation. There's no safety net. No.
22:14
Straight concentrated pepper to the dome. In- credible. In- CREDIBLE. I'M NOT GETTING IT. I'M JUST NOT GETTING IT. OH, MY GOD. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? WHY can't I feel? No.
22:34
Is it going to hit me now?
22:34
It's going to hit me soon, right? It's got to build on it. It's got to build.
22:37
It's starting to build right now. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's building. Yeah.
22:42
And it's kind of not going to stop.
22:44
No, this isn't going to stop. okay.
22:46
I got a little bit of a wind up. Yeah, it's coming fast. I know. I know. It's coming fast.
22:50
We're approaching the the peak of the mountain here.
22:52
But, Conan O'Brien, the good news is that's a wrap on our lunch date with the Wings of Death.
22:56
We're here about to drop. I'm fine.
23:02
I'm perfectly [ __ ] FINE.
23:05
I'M NOT QUESTIONING THAT.
23:06
ONE WAY THAT HAD ANY EFFECT ON CONAN CUZ HE'S HERE TO STAY.
23:17
IF YOU ARE CRAFTING A curriculum of a comedy survey course, can you give us one book to make sure that your students understand that the building blocks of comedy are not at all new?
23:29
What are you going to read?
23:31
Read widely and read well.
23:31
There's comedy in the Old Testament.
23:34
There's comedy in the New Testament.
23:37
You can read all kinds of stuff.
23:41
Just don't lock yourself in to it's got to be some comedy from the last 10 years.
23:45
No, there's great comedy out there that was written a long time ago.
23:50
What's funnier than Don Quixote? Sancho Panza.
23:54
You know, this is good stuff. The classics are funny.
23:57
You know, you can watch Read Chaucer's Tales. They're funny.
24:01
There's funny everywhere. Don't be a snob. Look high and look low. A Mad Magazine is funny.
24:07
There's funny stuff online all the time.
24:09
There's no reason for us to try and exclude one category over another.
24:15
These aren't the rantings of someone who's had some bad chemicals and overdid it to be funny and relevant to people who are at least 50 years younger than him.
24:23
This is A GUY WHO'S JUST BEEN ON A SHOW AND IT'S LEGITIMATE.
24:28
SO, I SAY here's to you, Shane.
24:28
YOU'RE A GREAT [ __ ] HOST. RIGHT BACK AT YOU.
24:32
AND I'M GLAD I'M HERE AND I'M GLAD WE HAD A GREAT TIME. And I don't care. I don't care anymore.
24:38
Wise words from a wise and stable MAN, CONAN O'BRIEN.
24:42
WHO'S DOING EVERYTHING HE CAN TO BE ON THE SHOW THAT EVERYONE YOUNG WANTS TO BE ON. Just barely.
24:49
And now there's nothing left to do but roll out the red carpet for you.
24:52
This camera, this camera, this camera.
24:53
Let the people know what you have going on in your life. I have a show. It's on Max.
25:01
They used to call it HBO, but people found that TOO POPULAR.
25:05
SO, NOW IT'S MAX, CUZ THAT REALLY ROLLS OFF THE TONGUE. AND IT'S A FUNNY SHOW.
25:09
FOUR episodes are going to drop with me going all over the world.
25:13
You can check it out April 18th. That's right.
25:16
My intestines have turned into acid, and I can still REMEMBER THE PLUG. THAT'S A PROFESSIONAL.
25:21
If there was a mic drop, I'd do one, BUT I DO WING DROP.
25:28
APRIL 18TH, CHECK IT OUT. DR. ARROYO. OH, GOD. HUH? YEAH, it's not good. That's deadly.
25:43
You're not a doctor, are you? I I should be. Okay. All right, thank you.
25:50
Was he going to tell you what it's at?
25:51
No, he doesn't even understand the numbers.
25:53
It It's up 2° from when it started the show. No lie.
25:57
That's the info I was after.
26:02
I love how you ruined me, but saved your suede jacket.
26:07
literally I literally just bought I literally just bought that jacket and I do not want to get anything on it.
26:14
I admire a guy who hosts Hot Ones and WEARS BEAUTIFUL SUEDE. OH, YEAH!
26:25
CAMERA GUY BILL HERE FOR A SPICY PSA.
26:29
HERE AT HOT ONES, we love sports.
26:31
BASEBALL, FOOTBALL, go long, BASKETBALL, HECK, and even fancy horseback riding.
26:45
AND WE KNOW YOU SPICE LORDS ARE tuned in, too.
26:47
So, the next time you need a little a to go with your sports, make sure to make it a Hot Ones Buffalo Bonanza.
26:56
Our Hot Ones Buffalo sauce is made with real butter, cayenne pepper, and even a little bit of celery.
27:01
It's the perfect companion for chicken wings, dips, and all your favorite game day snacks.
27:05
So, don't fumble this one and order your bottle of Hot Ones Buffalo sauce today. That's heatness. com, heatness. com, heatness.
27:16
com for all your buffalo needs.