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Ugh, [ __ ] Ugh, what do you take for this? Almond milk.
Ugh, [ __ ] Ugh, what do you take for this? Almond milk.
Hey, what's going on everybody?
For First We Feast, I'm Sean Evans and you're watching Hot Ones.
It's the show with hot questions and even hotter wings.
And today we're joined by Chelsea Handler. A hot [ __ ] Woah. Woah, woah, Sally.
She's one of the world's most successful TV host, a writer, producer, actress, and New York Times best-selling author many times over.
Speaking of her latest book, Life Will Be the Death of Me and You, too, is set to release on April 9th, followed by 22-date comedy tour.
Chelsea Handler, welcome to the show. Thank you very much. Thank you for having me.
I appreciate you coming in.
I have a bad history with chicken wings, so I wanted to come and kind of face it.
I mean, I like spicy, but I mean, I don't I don't I don't know what's going to happen now here.
I mean, I don't know what kind of, you know, [ __ ] you're going to throw at me, but I'm ready for it. Okay. It was good. It's spicy. I very like. Mhm.
So, comedy, it's full of bizarre origin stories, but I never heard of anyone who got their start at DUI class.
How did that click for you?
Like, did getting big laughs in the classroom give you the confidence to try stand-up? Yes.
I got a DUI when I was 21, and that scared me straight, and I haven't ever had a DUI since.
But the I punishment, I had to go to this DUI school, where they you go one night a week and they teach you how to avoid getting more DUIs, but the avoidance isn't really necessarily to stop drinking.
It's like what you say to a cop when you get pulled over.
And I'm like, "These are They're enabling us to get like to just keep drinking and driving and not get caught."
And then everyone at some point had to get up and tell their story.
And I was like, "Fuck that."
I didn't want to publicly speak. I was so embarrassed.
Finally, on the very last day, he's like, "Get up and tell your story."
And I started telling everybody the story about how I called the cop a racist. We were both white.
I had my sister's ID that I was like using, so I got in even more trouble. And it went great.
Like people started laughing and they were howling.
And I didn't get off the stage.
I'm like, "This is [ __ ] fun."
And then people like, "You should do stand-up."
And that's how I got the guts to do it. Yeah, I mean it's good.
This is definitely a lot spicier than the one before.
In your series Chelsea Does, there's an episode where you eat this six-course marijuana-infused meal.
Is that the trippiest dinner experience you've ever had, or does the crown still go to that Taco Bell run you did on mushrooms with Large Luke?
Thank you for bringing that up.
I know that's from one of my books.
I I spent a lot I mean, the marijuana-infused dinner, those are tricky because you're high for like three or four [ __ ] days. You know what I mean?
I woke up the next day and I had to shoot something and I wasn't right.
Like I wasn't right in the head for a while.
And your eyes are like half-cast, you know, you're just like kind of not fully awake.
Um and I once had a marijuana facial accidentally. I didn't request it.
The woman just assumed I wanted one, and she wasn't wrong, but I wasn't right after that.
So there's something about marijuana putting it in your system like when it's porous Different. it is different.
So the facial and the edibles, the meal of edibles, it was just I overdosed.
Um that's why microdosing is so important, I think, cuz I don't want to feel like that.
I want to just have a little, you know, take the edge off and have everybody be a little bit less annoying. Where is this from? I went skiing last week. Done for Colorado. Okay. Speaking of.
And I have um I got this really bad windburn, and my lips are really chapped, so this on top of it is exceptional. You know what?
That is such a poetic segue into my next question because skiing is something that we don't talk about enough on Hot Ones, and it's something that you quote [ __ ] love.
What are the logistics of taking the chairlift when you're famous?
Like do you engage in that chairlift small talk or do you just hide behind the helmet and the goggles and hope you make it to the top unrecognized?
Well, I was once on a chairlift and I think I was in Whistler, maybe, and I was just going off about this one guy at lunch who had something and the guy next to me goes, "Are you Chelsea Handler?"
He goes, "I He goes, "I recognize the way you say [ __ ] idiot."
And I was like, "Yes, thank you. I am Chelsea Handler."
I definitely engage in small talk on the chairlift. I like it.
And then, for a season drinker, there are few things that hold the romance of the après ski post jump off the slope socializing thing.
Can you close your eyes and describe your ideal après ski environment as much detail as possible? Yeah, a lot of hot men.
I like I I want I need a I need a hot ski guy.
So, this is actually a great place to say this cuz I am looking for a boyfriend now.
I'm ready to be in a relationship.
And I think this is the place to announce it.
And I think this is the place to announce it.
I need somebody who has a [ __ ] life and is a great skier. Okay.
Those are the two things and I don't want them to be a ski guide.
I want them to do skiing in their spare time and then they have some business that they're in that's outside of skiing. It could be anything. Almost anything. You know what I mean.
Do you worry about climate change as it relates to the shortening ski season or is that too big an [ __ ] concern to open with when you're talking about environmental issues?
Yeah, that sounds like a pretty jackass thing to say.
I don't think about climate change with relation to skiing.
Like this year for instance is a great ski season.
Everyone's getting dumped on.
There's tons of snow everywhere in the states.
So, it can work in both ways.
This year is getting hotter.
Yeah, that's how the game goes.
I almost just swallowed my tongue.
It went like it jolted back. Uh-oh. Yeah. We got a ways to go.
Yeah, my lip is really burning. Where's it from? Yes, Long Island.
So, is the wing from Long Island or is the sauce from Long Island?
All the sauces are local.
The wings we source from throughout the country. Okay.
And how do you source them? Who's your source?
Well, are you into is this like you just are a wing lover, you've always eaten wings or is this just You know, we just we're trying to solve for a problem, which is like interview shows, celebrity interview shows are boring.
How do you make them not boring? Tell me about it.
[ __ ] boring as [ __ ] Do you have a take on the state of celebrity interview shows?
Like is the late-night format failing its audience or is that a position that's a little overstated?
No, I think there's an audience.
I mean, people like that stuff.
It's just It's what you're into.
I don't love interviewing celebrities, you know what I mean?
I I've done it for like 10 years, so it's not my favorite thing to do.
I'd rather talk to a real person, like you. Wow, I'll take that.
take it however you want to.
I don't like being fake ever.
So, my problem is That's what I like about you.
with a lot of those interviews, you have to be fake and it's just not my game.
You haven't had a sip of your milk. Not yet, not yet. I'll feed you after. I'll catch you.
I'll breastfeed you after. It'll be fine.
Some people eat the bones. Like you.
I just I took a bite of a bone, that's why I'm saying that.
I just want to have like other people do it, too.
I And if no one would share, I'd [ __ ] eat the bone.
All right, Chelsea, we have a current segment on our show called Explain That Gram, where we do a deep dive in our guest's Instagram, pull interesting pictures that need more context.
So, I'll bust out the laptop, I'll show you the picture, you tell me the bigger story. Does that sound good? Yeah.
All right, laptop, please.
I haven't had a glass of milk since I was like Is this your first glass of milk in a It's almond milk, so it's kind of like [ __ ] milk. You know what I mean? It's not milk.
Is this the Miss New Jersey era Chelsea Handler?
Well, I would did Miss Teen New Jersey and they told me I needed to lose 15 lb. I was like 14 or 15.
So then I lost 15 lb as you can tell in that [ __ ] picture and went to this other pageant and the guy was a total shyster.
Like he screwed everybody over.
My parents paid like three grand to get me in the pageant.
You take all these classes and like, you know, you have to learn how to dance and have a talent.
Um do your hair like that and then there was never any pageant.
So my parents got [ __ ] over Yeah, so it's like a fire festival situation. Exactly.
That's exactly what it was but not right.
Well, less fun though cuz I was with my parents.
Here you are yelling at a guy for wearing a robe to a restaurant.
Do you remember this confrontation?
and a guy came over and asked me for a picture with him and I was like not you're in a restaurant in a robe.
Excuse me, I just burped.
You're in a restaurant in a robe.
You can't ask me for a picture.
You're [ __ ] inappropriate.
Like your balls are under there and food is nearby.
And look at him trying to defend himself. We took the picture.
Eventually you folded on that.
I just said, "Listen, this is your morning.
I hope I don't see you again in this outfit." Do more for you Chelsea.
What was the most majestic animal you saw on safari Mary McCormack and Charlize Theron?
Oh, and Charlize's mom and my cousin Molly are in that picture. Yeah.
Being on safari is like the [ __ ] best experience of all time.
Mm, it's right up there with skiing without the activity.
You could just stare at those animals for hours. It's gorgeous.
I mean, the elephants and the mat like you see how big they are and how protective they are of that. It's just beautiful.
I could sit there and watch a lion just sitting there for like two or three hours.
So, you know, you bring your cocktails in the car.
They make you these little like lunches and you just get shit-faced while you're like at the zoo. Yeah, it's a nice vibe. Yeah, totally.
And then one more for you Chelsea.
This is a classic Chelsea Handler thirst trap.
Can you give me one time Can you give me one Yes, it is.
Can you give me one time when you were unfairly targeted by Instagram's community guidelines and then one time where you thought, you know, maybe they have a point? Um I don't know.
It's very It's a tricky subject to say that women aren't allowed to be topless when you guys can just walk around like [ __ ] nipples everywhere. It's like yeah.
Why are our nipples not available?
Like why is it not okay for us to be topless because we're it's sexual? Like why?
I was also coming into my own.
I had a boyfriend that made fun of my boobs cuz they were being too big.
And when we broke up, that's when I went on my topless rampage cuz I I had another guy who was like, "These are great.
What are you talking about?"
I'm like, "You know what? They are great."
He and my boyfriend I had for a couple years was like, "Your boobs are too big.
They're not They're not elegant." I'm like, Elegant. you.
So when we broke up, that was my coming out party.
Yeah, that was my coming out party. And you know what?
My tits are [ __ ] awesome.
So I'm [ __ ] happy about that.
Are you eating yours fully because I feel like I'm doing more eating than you are?
I'll go bite for bite with you, Chelsea.
It's not a competition, but I'm just curious.
Well, you did bring it up as semi-confrontational, you know.
Everything I say challenged.
Everything I say is sort of semi-confrontational and I don't even mean it.
I don't know why people Like when people say, "Oh, you're such a [ __ ] or you're you know, intimidating or I'm scared of you."
I'm like, "What are you talking about?"
I'm like, "Listen to you talk." I get it now. I heard myself talk. I understand.
When you left Chelsea Lately, one of the notes that you went out on was that you were happy to not have to worry about what the Kardashians were doing from time to time or know every headline in the tabloids.
But I'm curious now, do you experience some of the same burnout with this 24-hour news cycle and this everyday is Armageddon thing? I hate it.
But there is a steady diet of news.
I think it's reading the news, being informed so you're not an idiot.
Like I don't want to be uninformed.
I want to know what's going on, but I don't want to be angry all day. Right.
So, uh and I now I have the tools to do that.
I get up, I meditate I meditate on Headspace.
I've never been like I was like, "Fuck meditation.
I'm so sick of people talking about mindfulness and meditation."
Cut to I wake up every morning I'm like, "Headspace, put it on."
Which is more of a viper's nest to navigate, PC culture of the 2000s versus, you know, this like Twitter woke era?
Are they the same thing or is there a distinguishable difference?
Well, I mean, right now we're in a PC phase two, you know?
Everybody have with me, too, and times up like everyone wants to be an ally and an advocate to or not everybody does, but I mean, you know, mostly people in Hollywood are trying to do the right thing and it's like you you're it's tricky.
You don't want to say the wrong I just filmed a documentary for Netflix on white privilege and you don't, you know, I offended a million people while I were filming that.
Every day I was getting into trouble by asking hard questions, but instead of looking at it as a hindrance, it's just I try to look at it as getting a better understanding.
We're in a period of overcorrection, I think, and hope because we have to correct the behavior. Right.
So, it goes hard to the right, hard to the left.
Eventually, you got to get the car.
Yeah, I mean, I'd like to be able to hit on guys at work, you know what I mean?
So, I'm hoping that we can all figure this out soon. I like garlic a lot.
It's too bad I'm That's hot. Mhm.
It's not pleasant hot, either.
It's like it's a offensive.
The garlic's not saving it for you, huh? No.
No, it's like hurts my roof of my mouth. I'll finish it, though.
Do I have to finish each wing?
You know you don't have to. are the rules here? I'd like some rules. I like need parameters.
Yeah, so I want it to be like the most uncomfortable comfortable interview. Uh-huh.
That being said, if you like rules, people seem to respect the people who go hard on the wings, you know?
I was Wait, is that right? Thank you.
For the people, you know. Uh-huh.
Yeah, it's for the Oh, it's burning. Yeah.
In your book, Life Will Be the Death of Me, you pulled back the curtain Sorry. I interrupted you. Go again.
Do you like how I'm directing this? I like it. I like it. Take the wheel. Take the wheel. Take the wheel, Chelsea.
So, in your book, Life Will Be the Death of Me, you pulled back the curtain on this year-long self-exploration.
First things first, is the cover photoshopped, or your chow chows just that well-behaved that they can just sit there for the photograph?
No, my dogs don't [ __ ] around.
They sit there, and it's not photoshopped.
I mean, I'm sure it's photoshopped on my face and stuff, but not the dogs.
My dogs are a little bit of [ __ ] I have two chows, and they're part chow, they're part Rottweiler, which I found out when I got their 23andMe done.
And I'm like, "Fuck, I don't want a Rottweiler."
They'll be with me if they have to, but they prefer my cleaning lady, Isabel.
And so, when she leaves every day at like 4:00 or 5:00, they sit at the door and stare out the window.
And then at 9:00 or 10:00, when I'm going upstairs to my room, I have to put them both on a [ __ ] leash, bring them up to my room like prisoners, and put them in there.
Did you visit a shaman this year? No.
I did that a couple of years ago for a special.
I did the ayahuasca, which I also wrote about, um cuz it was a it was an awesome experience, and I would recommend it to anybody who can handle like really hallucinating. What's that like?
How is it different than mushrooms?
Mushrooms are more joyful, like laughy, in my experience.
Ayahuasca was more like you see this fast-forward iPod shuffle of your life, and you're not in it.
Like, so I saw myself as a little girl running on the beach with my sister, playing with our dog that I had forgotten that we had as a kid.
Like, every memory is real, and it's just somewhere in your psyche, and it just lets it out.
And it just gives you this overwhelming kind of you feel love.
Like, it's not like ecstasy where you want to [ __ ] It's like, you feel oh, overcome with your emotions.
For in my instance, it was my sister, but a lot of people feel it for their spouse or their kid.
You know, I don't have those, so I have to find love somewhere else. Okay. What's this red? Yeah.
Oh, yes, this is too This is too spicy. Oh, this is too much. This is the bomb. Mhm. Oh. Oh. Oh, dear. Yeah. Yeah.
This is where people go off the rails. Yeah.
Why do rappers make the best talk show guests? You know why. It's too spicy. That's too spicy. It's wild.
If you look at our guest list, it's clear that we love hip-hop artists, too, but I don't think it's unfair to say that they are by far the latest guests.
Has that ever posed a logistical challenge for you or your crew?
Oh, [ __ ] Oh, what do you take for this? Almond milk. Is it the I can't.
I'm trying to think about something else. Yeah. I don't know what to do. You okay, Chelsea?
Yeah, I mean, I got Can I have some Vaseline for my lips?
Do we have any Vaseline in the building? Ah. But rappers are late. Yes.
And I yes, I once had Who was it? P. Diddy? Mhm. He was 3 hours late. Ah. Come on in. Ugh. Feel in this spice. Oh, [ __ ] All right.
I'm going to take a break from the wings and try and answer your questions. I'm flooring.
50 Cent, obviously everyone knows I dated him or maybe some people don't. That would be great.
But 50 Cent was so late to my show when I had him on that he sent me some cuz I yelled at him when he got there and I was like you're that's [ __ ] irresponsible and blah blah blah.
And he sent me flowers every day and filled up my office with flowers like hundreds of bouquets of flowers and finally I was just like I got better have sex with this guy because I mean how am I going to get him to stop? You know what I mean? Right. P.
Diddy came to my show and was so obnoxious and so late and I went off on him on the show.
I waited, I didn't see him and I was like I'm going to approach this differently cuz I didn't want to also have to sleep with P. Diddy. You know what I mean? Right.
So I waited and I just yelled at him on camera during the interview and that felt very satisfying.
I don't know if I can I don't know if I can eat anymore. Yeah.
What happens now if I don't I just can't handle it and I can't talk.
So that's the goal is to get me to shut the [ __ ] up.
Like this is like if you want to get [ __ ] up.
Like this is what the label should be if you want to take an edible that's going to knock you down, it should also look like the bomb. Right.
You know, that's where you can't get mad at it.
Don't eat me is basically what the label says.
What do you want me to do? Take another bite?
I mean our communication is really dwindling. Oh, here. I'm still connected. I'm still connected. Mhm.
I'm connected to not continuing to eat these wings but if you need me to, I will. I really respect that.
And I know that you're at this moment and you're like, "Well, what is this?" I'm at a turning point. Yeah, I know.
Like Beyoncé was with whatever When When was she at a turning point?
What was that movie or the song? Turn, turn, turn.
I think that was Bonnie Tyler.
But it's like you're so close to the top of the mountain.
And then what happens at the mountain?
I die at the top at the peak? See, I don't care.
I'm not competing at the top.
People will say, "Oh, you could You'll accomplish something.
You'll climbing" Like I don't hike because I don't give a [ __ ] about You do hike sometimes. What? I hike? Yeah. What?
No, I don't think I hike.
When did you How do you know what I'm up to?
Because you know, I do a lot of I do a lot of reading on you before the show. No, I don't.
I'm not into hiking in LA.
I don't think the views are that pretty here.
If I'm in some great location, I'll go hiking.
Like South Africa, they have this thing called Lion's Head. Right. And I did that hike.
You did do that hike and you got to the top and it was a beautiful picture.
That's where like, "Oh, wow." Yeah. Wow. That's interesting. Good for you.
You take your job seriously. Oh, thank you, Chelsea.
Well, I mean, you're welcome. All right. I know. All right.
I'm just going to let this one go, right? That's fine. That's fine.
tried it and I don't want to deal with that. Right. Let's move on. Let's turn the page.
I was going to just [ __ ] straight shot it. You know what I mean?
Get the chicken wing in and just not even deal with chewing it. So. Hot? Yeah. A different kind of hot.
I don't know what you have working behind the scenes, but there is a lot of great press about what an amazing boss you are.
Is it true that when you're at Chelsea Lately, you had set up scholarship funds for the employees' babies that you worked with? I did do that. Yeah, that's funny.
I only hear bad things about myself. Really? Mhm.
That I'm a [ __ ] you know, that I'm difficult, that I'm um um I don't know. any bad things.
But you always hear that stuff.
I don't, you know, you never listen to the good stuff or maybe you just don't hear the good stuff.
So I'm glad you brought that up.
Yes, I did [ __ ] get them college funds FOR OTHER [ __ ] KIDS.
Do you think that HR departments focus too much on discouraging office romance?
Yeah, first of all, well, there shouldn't be harassment.
I think like people should be allowed to the freedom as adults to participate in a relationship with each other.
Also, I feel that people, if they need to get high to be at work, go for it.
As long as you're responsible and you want to do If you want to have be, you know, have a cocktail in the middle of the day, you should also be able to do that if you can act responsibly.
It's people who abuse a situation and think that they're in a position of power and can like harass somebody.
That's totally not acceptable.
And I think a lot of us don't realize how much that was going on in everywhere in every worlds, you know, until this whole Me Too movement happened.
I think it's made us all just kind of like look at ourselves and say, "Okay, this behavior's not acceptable.
Can't touch people on their bodies. It's not received well.
Some people don't have issue with it and some people do.
So you just have to operate on the fact that everyone's going to take issue with it and behave yourself."
Which is why it's a good thing I don't have a TV show right now because I would probably have lawsuits against me.
I've never done anything sexually inappropriate. Well, that's not true.
I probably have done that too. I don't know.
I'm inappropriate as a general rule.
So I just have to keep to myself for a while. All right, Chelsea. This is actually Tracy. I feel so stupid. Yeah, I know. It's Tracy.
So I don't know why This is the last dab, Tracy.
We call it the last dab cuz it's traditional around here to put a little extra on the last wing.
You don't have to if you don't want to.
I'm not doing anything I don't want to do with these wings. That's enough. That's fine. That's fine. Sorry.
I See what happened there? Yeah. Yeah. Interrupted. That's good luck. Cheers.
Cheers Chelsea, Tracy, whatever your name is.
I'll eat where I didn't put the sauce.
I'm going to poison you on this last one.
Look, food just flew out of my mouth.
I told you guys that was going to happen.
All right Chelsea Handler, here we are at the end of our journey and we've touched on a lot today, but one thing we haven't touched on yet is that you're something of a guru about self-improvement and you're not an [ __ ] about it.
Always committed to the next day.
Turning the page on the bomb. Always self-improving.
So, now that you have the hot sauce coursing through your veins, the death wings like a truth serum eroding that already non-existent [ __ ] meter that Chelsea Handler has, can you give the people out there, the viewers, a chart, a path to being an adult?
Like what's worth trying and what's not worth wasting your time with?
That's funny you mention that because I'm reading this book, it's called Essentialism and it's about getting all the clutter out of your life and focusing on doing say two things really great instead of eight things mediocre.
So, by not doing my show, by taking the year to write a book, to film a documentary, I do feel like the quality has risen.
And so, I would advise anybody to stop saying yes to everything and focus on the things that you really want to excel at.
For me is being a [ __ ] badass skier and being a great writer.
Well, if Tracy Handler says it then you know it's the truth and look at you.
10 chicken wings up, 10 chicken wings down and now there's nothing left to do but roll out the red carpet for you Chelsea Handler.
This camera, this camera, this camera.
Let the people know what you have going on in your life.
I have a new book, it's called Life Will Be the Death of Me and I'm coming to a city near you.
I'm doing a sit-down comedy tour with celebrity guests in each city that will be interviewing me on stage.
So, you can get your tickets at livenation.
com and then I have a documentary coming out in the summer on Netflix. THANK YOU. THIS IS FUN. READY?
LET'S gargle that together.
I would spit this out, but we know what that looks like. So, thank you. Thank you for watching.
Hey, what's going on Hot Ones fans?
This is Sean Evans checking in from the Museum of Curiosities with a very exciting sauce update.
If you have not subscribed to the Hot Ones monthly subscription box, April is the month to do it. Why?
Well, first off, limited edition sticker.
But, second, because this box is going to have three hot sauces that have never before been tasted, never been released, never before seen until this month.
They're all made by hot sauce makers that have previously been featured on Hot Ones. That's right.
Three bottles of hot sauce no one's ever seen before, no one's ever tasted before, no one's ever touched until you reach into that box and pull it out and put it on your Caesar chicken wrap for the very first time.
That's April subscription box, three bottles, 30 bucks, plus a limited edition sticker.
Who's looking out for you? Us.