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My marriage, I felt the love dying. I was crying every day.
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I fell in the deepest depression that I had ever had.
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>> The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty.
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The one, the only, Jay Shetty.
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Cardi B, welcome to On Purpose. >> Hi. >> Oh my gosh.
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I I have to tell you something, and I mean this.
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You can go back six years when I launched the podcast.
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People would always ask me, they'd say, "Who do you want on the show?" Yeah.
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>> Like who would who would be your dream guest?
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And I'd always say Cardi B, and I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why.
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Because no one would ever put us in the same room together.
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We're just so different externally, but I believe there's a there's a spiritual connection that we'll find out today.
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>> You know what's so funny?
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I saw a video of you, and I definitely won't I was like, "I want to send it to my boyfriend, but it's about like asking uh difficult questions, and it's like when you when you ask difficult questions, and you get through and you get over the difficult question, and you discuss the difficult questions, it really do make you stronger.
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It really do make the relationship stronger.
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It's like, "Oh my gosh, he really It's like, "Is he a psychic?" Did you send it to him? Huh?
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Did you send it to your boyfriend? What did he say?
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He was like, "Yeah, exactly."
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And I was like, "Yeah, exactly."
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Did it Did it change any behavior? Did it Will see. Okay. Okay. On the next question. I love it. I love it.
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I wanted to ask you, first of all, I heard that you have a hidden talent.
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That you can name the 46 presidents in order. Is that real?
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>> It It go It comes and go. It comes and go.
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I just know a lot of weird different facts about presidents. >> Okay.
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And people will be like, "Well, why? That is so random."
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Like when I was younger, I didn't really have like Nintendos, and I didn't Sometimes I had cable, and sometimes I didn't.
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So, I just really didn't have no choice but to read and like I like to read like factual stuff.
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So, I would just read like a whole bunch of history things.
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Like me, I would literally when I'm bored, like you know how they give you the history books in your school?
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I would literally read the whole history book in a week from front to back just just cuz I'm bored.
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Wow, that's impressive though.
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Do you still get bored now?
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Do you even have time to be bored or I don't be bored, but that's like what I really just like to watch and everything.
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So, like I watch it like I watch YouTubes on like factual things.
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Like I just get into certain certain topics and I always go down a rabbit hole and then I'll be obsessed with it for a week and then it's just like whatever.
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Yeah, I feel like you can't go anywhere without being recognized.
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I mean you have such an iconic look.
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Even today I was admiring it when you walked in.
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I was like what inspires this?
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But if you could be anonymous for 24 hours, what would you do?
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If if no one could recognize you, no one could see you, what would you do?
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Well, you know what's so funny?
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Like I really do like I don't always look like this.
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So, I usually go outside probably with glasses or probably not, but I always go outside with like a oversized hoodie and then I'm not even going to lie due to COVID for like a long time.
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It really did help using the mask.
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But I I do a lot of things by myself with no security just cuz I'm a person that if I want to if I want to go and buy uh a steak to cook, I will go downstairs to Whole Foods and buy it and I don't care. >> one will know. And no one will see you.
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They might or they might not, but I feel like already maneuver how to like oh, it's Cardi B and I just walk fast and maneuver my way around. That's impressive. >> Yeah.
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You know, this show is all about getting to know the person behind the music, behind the stardom, behind the fame, getting to know the human behind it. Yeah.
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And I feel like your journey, even though you've talked about it, I'd love to dive into some parts that I find fascinating.
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And I wanted to ask you, what's a childhood memory that you have that you think defines who you are today? Oh. It's it's a lot.
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Well, it's not really like a childhood memory, but me and my sister, we used to go to the same school, right?
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Even though like she's 3 years younger than me.
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And she always be telling me this thing, right?
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She always be telling me this.
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She used to say she's always tells me like, "Oh, I used to see you in the cafeteria in the morning by yourself with your head down.
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And I used to feel so bad for you." And it's like, "Why?"
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And she's like, "I don't know cuz you just looked so lonely."
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And I used to tell her like it's like, "I was not lonely.
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I just always need time to think and be by myself."
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Like I'm a person that I have friends, but I don't really like to be around people that much sometimes.
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I just I'm always in my thoughts.
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Like there's like a hundred people and I feel like it's been like that since I was 5 years old that talk in my head and plan things out, plan my future, plan my life.
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It's like I'm playing doll house in my head.
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You know like when you play with your dolls? >> yeah, I get it. And you make a scenario.
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Not a scenario or like you you build your home and this and you're that.
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>> Yeah, like a little universe or world.
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>> Like a little universe.
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I'm always planning a universe in my head and it's just sometimes people say that I have like an interesting look, like like if I'm spaced out. I'm not spaced out.
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I'm I'm deep in my universe and planning 5 years ahead. Wow.
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So, you're dreaming, planning, visioning.
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You do these different workers, different yous in your head have different names or personalities or no, it's just No, it's not really no different personalities.
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It's just straight planning tomorrow, straight planning for 5 years, straight straight imagining what I what I want. >> Wow.
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And it's crazy because it's like everything that I planned for since I was five and dreamed of I really gotten it. Wow.
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Even when I was like younger you know when I was like younger, I used to look at my mom and I used to be like, I want to be so pretty and beautiful like her.
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And I grew up to be the pretty beautiful woman that she is, but I also wanted like to be very successful.
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Very I'm not going to say rich, but like very successful.
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I really hated being poor. Mhm.
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And I used to say like is that I refuse to have kids and raise them in the hood.
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I have to find a way to never do that, but I always wanted kids and I figured it out.
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And I Not only did I figure it out, but it's like I always have plan B's, and D's.
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But I don't have I didn't have to settle for plan B, C, and D.
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I had I settled for my dream.
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Like this is my dream job and I have it.
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It's a little bit more difficult than what I saw in my dreams, but I'm living it.
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It's what I always wanted. Yeah, that's incredible.
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As as that little girl who was sitting alone that your sister said she would see you and she'd feel sorry for you, but inside your head you were dreaming, was it dreaming about music?
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Was it dreaming about getting out of the hood? What were those dreams?
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What did they look like to that little girl back then?
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I always felt like I was going to be a superstar.
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And it's so weird because my grandma, she has like a lot of grandkids.
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But she always used to tell me that.
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And it's like why you always used to tell like I don't understand why she used to tell me that all the time.
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Like I used to be like a little black sheep.
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I used to like nag a lot.
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I have like cousins that they're very pretty.
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They have beautiful beautiful eyes.
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They just stand out so much.
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And I it's not that I don't stand out.
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It's just like out of everybody my grandma used to be like you going to be a superstar.
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You need to practice how to sing because you going to be a superstar.
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And I just knew I was meant to be something.
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Like for some reason me and my sister we have like really strong personalities.
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And I feel like like the things that they used to tell me they would tell her the same thing too.
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Like all my teachers all my friends they going to be like you going to be somebody.
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You going to be somebody someday.
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But I always used to wonder like it's like what is my calling?
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Cuz I used to like acting in school.
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But I'm not a good actress. I used to like singing.
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But I'm not a good I'm not the greatest singer.
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Like from the pack from the school I'm not the greatest singer.
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Like if I would audition for a play they would pick somebody else because they sing better than me.
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Or they'll pick somebody else because they act better than me.
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So and then it's like oh people used to like I'm so funny.
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But it's like I'm not a comedian stand out show.
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Like it's like I am I'm naturally funny.
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But I I can't see it as my job.
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This is just just my mouth.
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This is just me being me.
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So it's like what is my calling?
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And I always wonder what is my calling that everybody say that it's like I'm going to be somebody.
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But what am I going to be? I don't know.
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And and God gave it to me. God showed it to me.
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And and God really did gave it to me. And here I am.
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And I just can't believe that millions of people know me. Yeah, congratulations.
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When I hear you say that and you always exude this confidence. You're outspoken. You're bold.
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Was it always like that since you were a young girl or did that develop over time?
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What did Where did that come from?
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I was like born like this.
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I was always I I always been like this.
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I guess I got my real quiet side.
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And I always got like into myself side cuz like I said, I'd be in my own universe, quiet, planning and planning.
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But I feel like when I open my mouth or when I am who I am, it's just this is just how I am.
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But if I kind of think about it, I mean, like my family are very like funny. They're very loud.
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I My parents are a little different from each other, but they're very loud.
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They have very strong personalities, both of them.
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So, I feel like it just all Came into you. Came into me. Yeah.
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So, it's like you know how people I don't know.
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Maybe You know how people uh parents give pe- uh their kids their looks? Yeah.
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I think my parents gave me a mix of they both personality.
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I'm a little bit of both of them.
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Cardi B even still today finds time for her quiet side.
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I'm naturally quiet, though.
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>> I I mean, like tell me about that.
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I want to know about that.
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I mean, like I don't think people know that.
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>> Yeah, like I'm naturally in my room, just deep in my thoughts.
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And just deep, deep, deep.
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I might just talk to you the whole day as a friend on the phone, but I don't really want to see you. Which is so weird.
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Like I could talk to my friends all day long, but I like to be by myself all the time.
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I don't really >> surprised when they figure that out with you? Yeah.
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And my friends don't feel a certain type of way about that because they know me.
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They know Yeah, they know I'm not the the friend that want to go out to dinner.
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They know that I'm not that.
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They know I'm not the friend that Oh, I'm just going to go to your house and chill and blah blah blah.
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But we will be on the phone like forever.
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So, what about like parties, events, all of that kind of stuff? That's like is it work?
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Is it networking or I do like to party, but some sometimes I have I haven't even really had the time for it.
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Lately, I haven't really had the time for it.
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And to be honest with you, even before I was like famous and everything, I wasn't really a club girl. I was already a dancer. Mhm. So, I work in the club.
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So, it's like I didn't really care to like, "Oh, I'm going to the club today. For what?" I work in it.
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Like, it's just like I've always been like a person that just work work work work work work work work work.
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Focus on the bigger picture.
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Just focus on the biggest thing. Yeah. I always wanted kids.
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So, the goal is to be comfortable before the kids get get here. Yeah. Yeah. That was always my goal.
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I My goal was always to be a mother, but having your own.
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I had my own before I became a mother.
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Yeah, I mean, you said just a few moments ago that you didn't want to raise kids in the hood. Mhm.
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Talk to me about what we don't know about that. Like, how hard was it?
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What What was it that was so bad that you were like, "I could never raise my kids in the place I grew up in."
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It's It's just It's just a lot of things.
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Like, sometimes when kids are like bad or they get into trouble, people automatically blame the parents.
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And you can have the best parents.
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Like, my parents, they are not criminals.
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They have never even committed a crime.
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My grandma used to tell my mom a lot, like, "Is it you're pretty for no reason."
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And I feel like they used to tell her that because it's like she's so pretty.
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So, it's like, you know, Caribbean folks is like when you're pretty and you're this and that, it's like they always expect you to be with a man that got a lot of money.
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And my mom, she was never even that that type of person.
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She was a very modest and honest, hard-working woman.
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So, and my dad, he's he's a good man.
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He's he's a party animal, but he's a good man. Man, he's a good person. He's a good dad.
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However, you will end up going in the wrong path or going in the wrong direction because the influence around you because certain peer pressure or because you almost have no choice, especially if you're a boy.
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You never know if you're going to have a boy or girl, especially if you're a boy.
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And when you are a girl, it is a little bit difficult.
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It is a little bit tougher.
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I feel like people just grow a little bit faster in the hood. Mhm.
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Like when I was 11 years old there was girls in my class in the sixth grade, 11 years old.
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I have nieces that are 11 years old.
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They all they want to do is play Roblox nowadays.
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But when I was 11 years old >> Yeah.
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there was girls that were already at 11 in sixth grade.
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So it's like you go certain paths path of your environment.
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Like boys too in the hood, they're a little faster.
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So you know, you will be walking down the block and the typical little bad boy, he'll slap your ass out of nowhere.
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He'll slap your ass out of nowhere.
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You start arguing with him, he'll smack the [ __ ] out of your face.
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There that's how boys a lot of boys in the Bronx are.
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They're very like aggressive.
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They're aggressive with girls. They're aggressive. They groped out. They they grope you. You just never know.
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Like one of the one of the reasons also why I'm so witty with my mouth.
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People are like, "Why are you so witty? Why are you so thin?"
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Like going to school, it was like It was almost like like I think that's why I'm always so tough.
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Like boys or girls, mostly boys they used to like kind of like make fun of certain things.
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But not only just me, to everybody.
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Like they Like you look at your shoes, they're leaning.
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Look at your hair, your hair is never not done.
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So I used to go home and I used to go in the mirror and practice my jokes.
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And the next day I will be like, all right, I can't wait till he flame me.
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I got a joke or two for him.
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That's why I'm so witty, too, as well.
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So, it's like I don't want to raise my kids in that type of environment. I don't want to.
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And then on top of that, it's like it is fun.
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I had a lot of fun in the hood, but it's like it's not fun like for me, right?
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It's not fun living in an apartment, right?
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And contrary to what I say, I don't cook, I don't clean, I grew up with a mom that would make me brush the corners the corners of the apartment, like brush it by hand.
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That's how clean my my home had to be, my crib had to be.
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Every day I was doing dishes.
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Every day I was mopping floors.
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Every day I was making sure that I go outside to the parking lot and take out the garbage.
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And even though, no matter how clean your apartment is, there would still be roaches, there would still be mices, because your neighbor probably a hoarder.
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The person downstairs is dirty.
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Y'all live in the same building.
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You cannot avoid certain certain rodents and stuff.
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And it's like I don't want to put my my kids through that.
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And it's like I have to find another way.
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And then And then another thing that always like gets me in my [ __ ] head is like this one time, my mom, she was working very hard, but we still needed help.
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So, she went to welfare to get like benefit, like a benefit card and stuff like that.
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And the lady like my mom, she's the type of person like it's like if you're rude to her, she going to be like, "Oh, I don't got to take this."
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And she would just throw him out.
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Like, "I don't got to take Nobody got to talk going to talk to me like that."
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She got a very strong character.
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And this lady was talking so rude and so nasty to my mom, and she was taking it because we needed the help.
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I don't I nobody to feel like they have to talk to me a certain type of way because I need the help and it's like this could never ever be me.
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I would never want to like be in a situation where I have to go get welfare and the and the social worker is talking to me like I'm a dog.
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Like I need you and I just felt so bad for my mom because she just felt so I could tell on her face that she she was just like looking for the papers that she needed like it just that vision is always in my head and it's like every getting me mad I hope that lady I won't punch in her face to this day. And I don't want that. I ain't wanted that. Yeah.
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And as a woman even if you get with a man with money you should have your own cuz one thing you learn from young one thing I learned from having aunts you can have a man with money you can have a kid with money if you stop doing what that man ask you to do or if that man decides to leave or if you deal with a man from the streets and he go to jail that's your child. That's you.
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That's your responsibility. That's your hustle.
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You got to grind for that child.
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It's always two parents but sometimes it's not really two parents and if that could be a life right there and then that's why you always got to have your own.
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It's not even about oh I don't need a man I don't need the father I don't need the thing but sometimes they get to the point that it's like they're going to make you feel that way. That's why you need it.
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I had cousins and I had aunts and I had a that is like they they may have a little bit of money have a little bit of land have a little bit of this and when those men are done and through with you and put you off the ringer is like yeah I'm not dealing with that kid no more or like you go you get these $200 every three four months when I want you to.
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I'm not dealing with that chick. Mhm.
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That's why I was like but I always wanted to have kids so it's like I have to have my own [ __ ] before I become a mom.
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And that's exactly what happened.
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And not only do I not only have one kid, I have three kids, and that's exactly not exactly the number that I want, but I always wanted a a big family. Like, I'm I love family. I love family.
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And there's a higher possibility that I won't be in a living assistant home with all the kids.
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>> How many kids do you want? >> I want like six. Okay, so three more. Mhm.
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I want like three more kids.
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Three more kids, I love that for you.
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I mean, I mean, hearing hearing you say that, I mean, as I was listening to you, I could tell there's like a there's almost like a you can almost vision what that life was like. Yeah.
19:53
And there's a part of you that's like so happy you got out, at the same time there's there's such a part of it that's there inside of you that you've been fighting against, you've been breaking out of, right?
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Like for all of these years.
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When was the moment you felt like ah, I'm out, like I broke out.
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Like, when was that moment where you really felt like I did it. I'm out.
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I I made it, you know, I'm safe now.
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It's crazy because every single time I feel like I feel like I was safe, I really wasn't. Oh, interesting. Yeah.
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When I got on TV, when I first got on TV, I was like, did I make it?
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I didn't feel like I made it because I used to see girls go on reality TV shows, and then they would end up right back in the strip club where I was at.
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So, I never felt like it's like, oh, on TV, I made it.
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It's like, I'm almost there, but I didn't made it.
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Then when I got signed to a label, it's like, I'm almost near making it because I'm signed, but I'm not where I want to be.
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Where I really felt like I made it was when Bodak Yellow came out.
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The million that I made, the first real million that I made, I had to share with nobody.
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I had to share with managers because they signed me to something. it's mine.
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It's mine, but I never felt comfortable.
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I still to this day don't feel comfortable.
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Especially with how everybody is just trying to take it from you all the time.
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It's like It's like I fight every day to keep this level of success because people want to take it from you so bad and people just feel like they could they could tell you when you deserve to to have this success because it just looks so easy, but it's not. It really is not.
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It's It's a It's a challenge to stay here.
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It's a challenge to stay relevant.
21:42
It's a It's a challenge to to to keep your mental health, right?
21:47
It's a challenge to getting up.
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It's a Every day Every day is a challenge.
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It's It's It's It's a It's It's a job. Everybody has a job.
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You can't complain about getting up and doing a job.
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The only thing I could complain about is millions of people that love you and then millions of people getting in your head and telling you that you don't deserve your job that you work hard for. That's what it is. We all have jobs.
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That's what it is about being a Oh, don't don't complain to me.
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Everybody want to complain. I work so hard. I work so hard. I work so hard.
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You have to work hard to pay your bills.
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But when you work hard and people tell you that you don't deserve the success that you have and you don't deserve to do what you do after you put in so much work that's what with you, for real.
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What makes you feel like that every day?
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What are the things that make you feel like there's people constantly coming at you?
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What does that look like in your life?
22:49
I'll tell you something that like been going on for like a hot minute, right?
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Like a lot of people think that I put out music, that I ain't out a album, that I ain't I don't be putting out this and that because I don't know, they always say that like I'm always getting pregnant all the time.
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But I don't think people follow timelines.
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When it comes to having kids, I'm very seasoned by now.
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I'm very seasoned right now.
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When I had my child at the beginning, I canceled going on a tour with Bruno Mars because it was my first time having a kid. I did not know anything.
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I didn't have no nanny, no night nurse.
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I was figuring out all by myself.
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I was figuring out postpartum.
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I was figuring out everything, right?
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But even when I had a child, it didn't stop me.
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3 months after I gave birth, I was going I was doing shows, four, five shows a week into COVID. Then COVID happened.
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And I put out this big record, WAP, and I put up a Then I got pregnant.
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And people thought that I didn't put out an album because I got pregnant.
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But the reason why I didn't put out an album is because I didn't have a body of work.
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I just didn't have a body of work, so I couldn't put out no music cuz I didn't have a body of work.
24:14
Then last year, I was planning to have an album.
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I was planning to put out an album. But I couldn't focus.
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I fell in the deepest depression that I had ever had.
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And with that depression, I couldn't function.
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I couldn't function at nothing.
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And when I talk about function, it's not even like, oh, just working.
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I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't do nothing.
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So, that just halted everything that I had.
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So, it's not really because of having a baby.
24:50
Sometimes, too, I don't be wanting to put music because I love being in the studio and I love creating music and I love perfecting my craft.
25:00
And that's like baking a cake.
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You bake a cake, you practice baking the cake, you practice baking a cake, and then when you put out the songs, sometimes they'd be good and sometimes, like for ex- people would just be like "We hate it and she shouldn't be doing this."
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And that's like you baking a cake.
25:17
You bake a cake, you bake a cake, and people eat the cake, and then people be like, "This is the worst cake ever."
25:24
And they spat Have you ever seen The Simpsons movie in the [ __ ] when they they spat the cake?
25:28
That's how I'd be feeling and it's like, that is the worst feeling ever. >> Mhm.
25:34
That's like a guy [ __ ] you and you think you have the best [ __ ] in the world and they tell you your pussy's trash.
25:40
You should never [ __ ] nobody no more. That's just how I feel.
25:41
Like, you work, you work, you work, you try to do your best to perform perfect your craft and somebody just tell you like, "You shouldn't be doing this.
25:50
You should never do this ever in your life."
25:54
It brings you down so much and it [ __ ] with your mental so much that it's like, this is why I kind of avoid it just for a peace of mind. Mhm.
26:01
Just for a peace of mind.
26:06
I've been okay for almost a year.
26:10
Like after I gave birth to my daughter I was a little happy. I was going outside. I started dating.
26:18
I started feeling really good.
26:18
Sometimes I have bad days.
26:20
Sometimes I have good days because I feel like I'm I'm resetting in life.
26:26
Last week when I put out a song and it's not really the criticism in the song, the way that people ate me up, tore me up, chewed me up just because of one song, I feel like I didn't deserve that.
26:39
Especially for a song that I put so much work in.
26:44
That I just was like, this is this is why I don't really put music out like this because I remember how this used to feel. >> Mhm.
26:52
This is a very terrible feeling to have.
26:57
This is a very terrible feeling to have.
26:59
And you tell yourself like it's like a lot of these people that are telling you these type of things don't have no jobs, don't have no titles, don't have no this.
27:07
But when there's millions and millions and hundreds of thousands of people like it's like not only are they criticizing the song, they're criticizing you as a whole.
27:14
It just be like, this is why I don't really put things up too much.
27:20
Because it's just like the mental health, the peace of mind.
27:25
It's it's so much it's it's you just got to ask yourself sometimes is is it even worth it? >> Mhm. Is it even worth it?
27:33
Cuz I haven't felt down like last week for a very long time.
27:38
For almost like almost like a year. Almost like a year. Wow.
27:40
I'm very compassionate and I'm very understanding and I'm a Libra so I see always two sides of the scale.
27:48
I have sympathy for [ __ ] that my man and they have taken a family loss and I'm like, damn, I feel bad for her.
27:56
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29:53
Talk to me about that depression.
29:56
For For you, as confident as you are, as bold as you are, to be so vulnerable, and I'm so sorry you went through that.
30:02
But to be so honest and open about the fact that a year ago you were in this dark depression, and it seems like the worst it had ever been. Yeah. What What got you there?
30:12
Why Why were you feeling so low?
30:15
It was just a lot of pressure from my career.
30:21
And I also felt like my marriage Like I felt the love dying.
30:29
From my end, from from from my end, from his end.
30:34
I was very lonely because I chose to be lonely. Chose to be lonely.
30:36
I was saying like, "You know what?
30:38
I can't go through this anymore.
30:40
I have to put a stop to it.
30:42
But when I said I was going to put a stop to it, cuz you could say you going to put a put a stop to it, and you could you could go a month without being around somebody.
30:53
It's not It's not until you It's not when you say so.
30:59
It's when your heart say so.
31:03
I kept telling myself I will not contact this person for a month. I will not give in.
31:07
I will not forgive this easy. I will not go back.
31:11
I will not go to the patterns.
31:13
I will not go through it.
31:13
But I was crying every day. I was hurt every day.
31:17
I was out here in LA in a mansion by myself.
31:19
I was thinking about it every single day.
31:25
And when your heart is not done, your heart is not done.
31:30
Then I told myself I'm pregnant.
31:40
I'm going to accept the I'm going to accept my flaws, the flaws that I bring in this marriage.
31:50
I'm going to apologize for it.
31:50
And I'm going to work on it.
31:54
And when I take accountability and you take advantage of me taking accountability and you take that as a See, I know she'll be back instead of me taking accountability and you taking advantage of that.
32:11
It really just killed everything.
32:11
And while it was dying I had a human growing in me.
32:20
And I just had And I just kept thinking like it's like, what's life going to be without this person?
32:25
What life going to be without raising my last child without this person?
32:33
What's life going to be with that person not being my friend anymore without nothing.
32:37
When you have those type of thoughts, it would make you sad.
32:40
It would get you depressed. It would have you lost. But, I overcame that.
32:50
And I am the the strongest that like I have ever been.
32:53
Like I almost feel like When was I ever my strongest?
32:58
My The I felt my strongest when I was 22, 23, 24.
33:03
That's when I felt like my strongest and I was like living in a power.
33:06
And that's how I feel right now.
33:08
Like I feel like I live in a power.
33:12
And it took months for the heart to say, "You're done."
33:18
Instead of my mouth and my brain.
33:20
My heart had to be like, "You're done."
33:24
Cuz you could say it and you could take actions, but even if you take actions, if you're not done, you're not done.
33:29
Like I kept asking like around that time I was working with Shakira and I was like, "How the [ __ ] did you over- overcame this?"
33:35
Like, "How did you overcame this?"
33:36
And it's like, "It's going to happen."
33:38
And it's like, "It would never happen." And it happened. It took some crying.
33:45
It took some thoughts, scary thoughts. It But I'm here, honey. Yeah.
33:52
I'm I'm here and I'm the strongest I've been and I'm just I love hearing that. Mhm. But it was hard. >> I can tell. Like I can tell.
34:04
I can see it as I'm speaking to you.
34:06
It's It's not easy and I think those moments in all of our lives are are the most difficult moments.
34:13
What did you do for your mental health at that time? What What did you do?
34:16
What actions did you take?
34:18
What did you have to do to keep yourself together and come back the strongest you are right now?
34:22
I think there are so many people who are listening who've probably been through similar things, who feel broken, feel hurt, feel lost and confused.
34:29
What worked for you that helped you come back to strongest you've ever been?
34:34
I don't know if it was just time because I kind of did a little bit of everything. Like I I did do therapy.
34:45
I did saw I did saw therapist.
34:45
She's really good by the way.
34:48
It was like on Zoom and it was like I I was telling myself like it's like I can't believe I'm telling a whole stranger my feelings, my thoughts, my personal business for 3 [ __ ] hours straight.
35:07
I was just like What the [ __ ] am I doing?
35:09
That just feels so weird. Yeah.
35:10
I was in there I did therapy for I did a couple of sessions. They gave me no nothing.
35:19
Um I was all spring all summer recording.
35:25
It just wasn't like enough.
35:27
I just felt like I just had to let it die. Mhm. On its own.
35:32
Let things die on its own.
35:32
And the bad thing about it is that it's like not only am I dealing with that, that's that's my personal life.
35:39
I was also dealing with fans putting pressure on me cuz they want you know, they want an album, they want products from me.
35:48
I had people that don't like me talking down on me and then I had peers trying to start problems with me.
35:57
And all of that what I was going through a mental [ __ ] breakdown at home. So it was just a lot.
36:04
It was like I'm trying to work it. I'm trying to sleep it.
36:11
After I gave birth to my daughter, my my baby girl, I was just like [ __ ] it.
36:19
Take a break from work and I was just going out every weekend with my friends.
36:26
It was scary talking to somebody else and giving them a little piece of me.
36:32
Not just my heart, just a little piece of me. And but I overcame that.
36:45
And I just That's where I feel like I just became a little bit more better, like just resetting.
36:48
Yeah, it's a good It's a good reminder that time is the ultimate reset. Mhm.
36:52
And time does have a healing power that we, you know, the cliché of time heals all wounds. But is it true? >> But it's true.
37:02
Yeah, it's a cliché because there's truth in it.
37:03
There's some reality in it that time and distance and and being patient enough.
37:07
I was I was working with a client recently who was going through a breakup.
37:14
And when we would speak in the first month, she would tell me every single day that she couldn't stop thinking about the guy she was breaking up with. That broke up with her.
37:27
And then the second month, she'd tell me every other day.
37:32
And then the third month, she'd tell me once a week. Yeah.
37:36
>> the fourth month, she was just telling me once a month.
37:37
And I was like, "You don't see it, but I see Yeah.
37:39
that it's affecting you less and less and less as time goes on.
37:43
But when it's you, you feel like you're just still stuck there.
37:47
And so, it's such a great reminder that time is the ultimate reset and time does heal.
37:52
And and just because time heal, like in the meantime, don't don't think that like you shouldn't like try to get help.
38:00
Because it's like therapy didn't really help me like that. >> work for you. Not as much.
38:04
Well, maybe because maybe because I didn't get to the part of where you get the help. Mhm.
38:13
I mean, I did do it like six sessions.
38:13
I don't know if I don't know how long.
38:18
Um like sometimes when I give advice to girls, I be like, "Bitch, boss up. Boss up. Go to work. Get pretty."
38:24
But even when I was doing that, I had like a pain in my heart.
38:29
And sometimes when I was going out with my friends and I was having a good time, it would always be like around 4:30 a. m.
38:38
when it's time to go home and I'm drunk and I'm thinking to myself, "I am alone.
38:46
I don't have nobody to talk to."
38:46
And it feels really weird and it feels very lonely, especially when you're used to that.
38:55
However, don't don't avoid that.
39:00
Don't like don't avoid that, but it will be time that will heal it. It will be time.
39:06
Time just heals everything.
39:08
When you said again last week, you're saying when you put new music out, it's kind of the lowest you'd felt in another year. Mhm.
39:15
What's the hardest part for you to take that criticism?
39:17
Because like you said, you're quick with it. You've got responses.
39:21
You've lived in a place where you had people coming at you.
39:24
Why is it so hard to put out something you love?
39:28
It seems like you really put your heart into your work. >> Yeah.
39:31
>> And so when you put that out, is is that why the criticism hurts the most?
39:35
Because you put so much heart and soul into your work?
39:37
Yes, because I put like a lot.
39:41
I always I don't like what like I'm not a lazy person. Mhm.
39:44
And I do understand my flaws.
39:47
Well, it's not really my flaws because a lot of people will say something about my accent, right?
39:50
But it's funny because my accent to some people might be my flaw, but it's also my superpower and what makes me unique.
40:00
Some people say that I have a Spanish a Spanish accent, but I really don't really have a Spanish accent.
40:04
I have a very unique accent. I talk very unique.
40:08
When you try your best to like perfect your accent, perfect your flows, perfect everything.
40:17
I always try to perfect at everything that I'm doing at the time.
40:20
I was trying to perfect it.
40:22
Like even when I was a stripper, I guess I okay.
40:26
I'm a stripper, but I'm going to be the best pole dancer in here.
40:31
And I'm going to [ __ ] bust my ass, bust my knees, get practice every day until I could be the best at it.
40:37
That's the same with music. I'm going to perfect it.
40:39
That's the same with my um marketing. I'm going to perfect it.
40:45
That's the same with my business. I'm going to perfect it.
40:47
I like to perfect things that and if it's not the best things, if I if I'm not the best at it, I could say that I tried to be and I worked my ass off to be and I didn't make it easy for myself.
41:00
So when people just throw it in your face and then make other narratives on top of it with that, it's like that is so mean and and it's also like different narratives of you like it's like well, you you don't even know me.
41:17
You don't even know me and you're making all these stories, scenarios, all this this over one song.
41:23
I for example, when I did the song and people didn't like the song, so many people was like they just Cardi was Cardi never deserved to be a rapper.
41:35
They just made it so easy for her.
41:38
And it's funny because it's like this [ __ ] was not given to me.
41:43
I worked my ass off for me and I planned it.
41:46
Just like you see when I was a little girl, I used to plan everything. I planned every step. Every single step.
41:55
And I might even be inspirational to other artists coming up because for a long time since I have such a big personality, people just felt like she's funny, she's funny, she's funny.
42:08
So it was really hard for labels to take me serious.
42:10
And some labels were trying to [ __ ] give me scraps to do a a slavering record deal.
42:18
And even when I was on TV, and I thought I was going to be my big break for like people to recognize me as an artist, it wasn't.
42:27
I was doing good numbers on my mixtape. It wasn't enough.
42:32
So, the money that I was getting for partying and hostings, I took that money.
42:38
I made my own concerts, and the best thing about it is that everything is documented.
42:43
I did my own concerts for 400 to 400 people in New York.
42:46
800 people came out singing my songs.
42:54
And I went to the a label, and I was like, "This is why you need to sign me.
42:59
It's not just [ __ ] Instagram. It is real life."
43:05
And the $15,000 that I used to get for hosting parties, I used it to rent cars, rent buses, rent venues to perform my songs, to show these labels like it's like I'm the one. This [ __ ] ain't fake.
43:22
This [ __ ] ain't a personality thing.
43:25
This ain't a Love & Hip Hop thing.
43:27
This is This is what my music is doing.
43:29
This is the people singing it.
43:31
I'm doing all of that, and now being this far after you plan everything, and people will tell you that you don't deserve it, and you got it because of this, this, and that.
43:42
That pisses me the [ __ ] off. >> Yeah.
43:45
Cuz everything Everything that I did is documented.
43:47
This [ __ ] wasn't given to me.
43:50
I didn't open my legs for it, either.
43:55
So, that's the type of [ __ ] that be getting me angry.
43:56
Like it's like, "Don't tell me that I didn't put the [ __ ] work in when I put the work in."
44:01
There's days that I I miss I miss birthdays. I miss I miss birthdays. I miss family events.
44:09
This [ __ ] has gotten in the way of like my my my personal relationships, marriage and everything.
44:14
Just for somebody to tell me somebody that never did [ __ ] in their [ __ ] life tell me that I don't deserve it.
44:19
Get the [ __ ] out of here. Absolutely.
44:24
I mean You know what though?
44:26
I also find that Instagram and Tik Tok or whatever platform it is, the comments that are negative are just loud.
44:35
Because you can literally go to someone's comment section and see negativity or whatever, but then like you said, you go to an arena and everyone in the arena screaming their name and singing their songs.
44:45
And so it is this really weird thing that I happen that happens for the mind where you're watching your page or you're watching yourself on someone else's page and there's criticism, but then actually there's all these other people that love you.
44:55
The negativity and the hate is just so loud and people say stuff.
44:59
Whereas the people that love you, they just press the heart. Right?
45:03
So it's always like that weird thing where I'm like the mind just overvalues negative feedback and undervalues the positive feedback because the negative feedback is just so critical and loud and heavy.
45:16
When you reflect on it and after you think about it for a week, do you think I want to prove them wrong or do you go actually who cares about them?
45:22
Where do you Where do you end up after a week of reflecting on it? Like last week, right? I was in tears.
45:31
And I was telling myself I was telling myself like it was like Not only myself, I told this to my friend actually.
45:39
I told this to my friend.
45:39
I was like sometimes people say don't let the devil win.
45:45
But what happens if you let the devil win?
45:47
Maybe I need to let the devil win so I can have a peace of mind.
45:51
And then I'm like thinking to myself like why the [ __ ] would I ever say let the devil win?
45:56
Imagine praying to God on your knees every single night asking God, God please bless me with this. God please give me that. God please give me this. Please give me that.
46:08
Please bless me with this.
46:09
Please bless me with that.
46:12
Just so you could like everything that God gave you tell the devil here you can have it. Mhm.
46:19
Because he's sending Sometimes the devil sends evil in human forms and human mouths and hu- and humans tongue just so you could tell the devil to have it.
46:33
Like imagine how God feels.
46:33
Imagine God be like all right, baby. All right, girl.
46:37
Here you Here Here Here have this. You wanted this?
46:40
Here Here's what you get.
46:43
And then Like imagine Like it's like it's like he's giving you something and then you go to school and they'll be like that's ugly and that's something that you've been asking for a long time and now you don't like it because somebody told you that it's ugly. Yeah, well said.
46:56
And it's like how almost that the devil win? Mhm.
47:01
And I was telling myself that.
47:01
I was telling myself that and like I said I was telling it but sometimes you got to have believe it from the heart cuz your mind could tell you it.
47:08
Your mouth could say it but you got to believe it from the heart.
47:11
This week though I feel so much better and I feel so much confident and I was like I'm not going to let the devil win.
47:17
I'm not going to be like, you know what?
47:19
I was telling my team like I said, you know what?
47:21
I just need some days off.
47:24
And it's like how the are you going to take some days off when your team been planning all of these all of these things that you had to do for your album roll out because of these people that are spewing things that the devil wants you to to think of yourself.
47:37
I almost let this [ __ ] win. Don't let the devil win.
47:43
Cuz How you think God feel?
47:47
How you think God feel, Cardi?
47:50
Gave you all this [ __ ] you've been asking for forever just so you could say that.
47:55
That really pissed me off about myself cuz I can't believe I said that.
47:58
Well, no, I think it's human.
48:00
I mean, even as I'm listening to you, I'm thinking everyone will be relieved because you know, when someone is confident and as bold as you are and as outspoken as you are, which is which are all amazing qualities, the truth is though that we all have these human moments. >> Yeah.
48:15
And it's not a weakness, it's natural for all of us to feel pain, to experience sadness, to experience and it humanizes you in a good way.
48:24
It makes me feel like, "Oh, wow, if Cardi feels that, then hey, I I can feel that, too, you know?
48:30
Like, if if she goes through those days and she gets out of them and a week later she's feeling better and a year ago she was in a real mess and she's feeling better, then then maybe I can take something from that, as well."
48:39
I'm not a perfect person.
48:43
You know what I'm saying?
48:43
I'm not a perfect person and sometimes I'm a little bit misunderstood.
48:45
How do you think you're misunderstood?
48:50
I don't even want to bring this up again, but it's like I could tell you how I'm misunderstood.
48:55
I actually got dragged for weeks cuz of this.
48:59
So, I made this uh I think I'm just a little misunderstood.
49:04
Sometimes I could be I don't have a dark I'm not a dark humor person.
49:09
I'm not a dark humor person, but sometimes like my humor could be a little rough. Mhm.
49:13
And I feel like my humor could be a little rough because like you know, like I said, like boy boys in the Bronx >> Mhm.
49:21
they will make really tough jokes on you and then on top of that like cuz I like a family like mine we're always cracking jokes on each other.
49:28
Like, it's like like being Caribbean Caribbean people like if you too skinny, they'll be like, "Girl, you shaped like candle.
49:35
Like, you shaped like a [ __ ] candle, just small like a [ __ ] candle, like a white candle."
49:40
Or like Dominicans, like when you shaped like big from the top and small on the bottom, they'll be like, "Cuerpo de yuca." What does that mean?
49:48
It's a certain type of yam. Okay, okay.
49:51
And it's like it's rude, but it's like it's just something that is like people just joke around that it's just so naturally.
49:57
So, sometimes my jokes might be a little bit not for everybody.
49:59
And when I make certain jokes like like I made a joke the other day with my fans because they they literally started the joke and then I continued the joke and because of the joke and I refused to apologize for it, people was just saying that I'm just such a mean person, that I was trying to bully people, that I'm hurtful to people, but it's like I wasn't even trying to hurt nobody.
50:23
My intent wasn't to hurt nobody.
50:25
It's just like everybody naturally jokes with their friends.
50:30
Everybody naturally jokes with their peers.
50:32
Everybody just might say not not the most nicest jokes or stuff like that.
50:37
However, like I'm not trying to hurt nobody.
50:40
I don't want to hurt nobody.
50:41
And so many people criticize me cuz of that or like judge my character cuz of that, but it's like I'm not this evil mean person that people think that that I am.
50:51
I'm very actually compassionate. I'm too compassionate.
50:55
That's why I cry for There's something that might be going on in the other side of the world and I'm crying for it and it's like, "Why am I crying for this? Like this is crazy."
51:02
I'm very compassionate and I'm very understanding and I'm a Libra, so I see always two sides of the scale.
51:11
I always have sympathy, just a little.
51:11
I even have sympathy for for [ __ ] I have sympathy for [ __ ] that my man and they have taken a family loss and I'm like, "Damn, I feel bad for her."
51:24
That's how sympathetic I am.
51:24
What what Why do you feel sympathy for them?
51:28
Like where does that come from? Or what do you feel? I don't know.
51:32
It's just It's just how you're made.
51:35
>> It's just how I'm That's just how I'm made or stuff like That's just how I am.
51:39
However, people just have this thought of me and that's because my mouth is so rough.
51:46
Like I'm a little rough, and I curse like a sailor.
51:49
And I give advice very strong.
51:54
But everybody in my family give advice like very strong.
51:56
And I don't have yes men's neither.
52:00
So my friends will give me advice in the most rudest way that is like, "Damn, [ __ ] do you like me?" But it's the truth. Mhm.
52:10
And that's just how I am.
52:10
That's how I'm going to talk to you, and that's just how I am because it's the truth.
52:13
And you're like that with everyone.
52:15
It doesn't change for anyone.
52:16
And I'm like that with everyone. How about the kids?
52:21
Oh, I'm like that I'm like that with my kids too.
52:23
Like God damn it, I'm tired.
52:30
But you can't tell me I'm a I'm a bad mom. I'm a great mom.
52:33
If I'm good at something, it's being a mom.
52:35
But sometimes be like, "Get the [ __ ] you little [ __ ] Get the God damn it, I'm sick of you."
52:43
But that's just how I talk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
52:45
Does that make me a bad mom?
52:48
I don't I don't think I'm a bad mom.
52:50
[ __ ] I give them too much. I'm a bad mom.
52:54
It's It's funny you say that.
52:55
I was I was talking to a parenting expert on the podcast a few weeks ago, and she was saying that parenting is the most inconvenient thing.
53:01
She goes, "You love them, but they're inconvenient." Like it's hard.
53:06
Like if you're honest about it.
53:07
And so there's a There's a real feeling about how how tough being a mom is.
53:11
How do How do you balance being a superstar and being a mom?
53:16
Like how do you make it You You said it yourself.
53:18
You want to be the best at everything.
53:20
When you do something, you want to be the best at it.
53:22
So I assume that applies to being a mom, too. Yeah.
53:24
And so it's like, how do you do that? What What is it to you?
53:27
What makes you a great mom?
53:28
What are the parts that you focus on, and how do you balance those two crazy worlds?
53:32
I think that what makes me I think that what makes me like a good mom I don't give my kids It's not that I my kids everything, but they just think I'm so funny.
53:44
Like even when I curse at them, they just think I'm so funny and it's like I'm being serious with y'all, but they just love me.
53:50
I don't know why they I mean, of course I know why they love me, but it's like why y'all love me so much?
53:57
I guess I'm a good mom because they love me so much.
53:59
They just think I'm so entertaining. They think I'm so fun.
54:03
Even when we just laying in bed, they just want to lay in bed with me. Ain't no Target.
54:06
We ain't going to no god damn Target.
54:07
We ain't going to Target.
54:07
Do I ask you for no more god damn Roblox?
54:12
That's exactly how Don't come here asking me for no god damn Roblox.
54:14
You ask me one more time for a [ __ ] iPad for one of your cousins, we're going to have a problem.
54:18
This I This exactly how I talk to my kids. And they still love me. They just love me. I don't know.
54:25
They love me for who I am.
54:25
They love me I don't even know how to explain it.
54:27
I do I do give them everything though, but not giving them everything doesn't always make you the greatest mom because it's like you seen you seen cases where like the parents work so hard, they give they their kids everything and it's not enough.
54:44
Like them two brothers, what's they they called again?
54:46
Uh oh yeah, the Menendez brothers.
54:49
>> Yeah, you could give them everything, but if they don't love you, they just don't love you.
54:52
And I don't know, they just they just love me.
54:54
I just always remind them that I love them, but I will curse them out though.
55:00
What what What what's What's a quality or a skill that you have that you really want them to learn and develop and grow as they get older?
55:08
I know they're young right now, but Please don't be a bum. Please don't be a bum. Please don't be lazy.
55:18
Some people are Some people have the look, the intelligent, the talent.
55:27
Some people really have that.
55:29
But they don't go nowhere because they're lazy. Don't be lazy.
55:33
Don't just be all your parents this and that. No, be your own person. Be your own human. Be something. Be something.
55:43
Be something that you could be proud of.
55:45
My mom, she was not She's She was She was a lunch lady practically, but I am very proud of my mom because she used to work her ass off.
55:56
She could have went to my grandma like, I I'm going through a tough time right now.
55:59
Can you raise my kids for a year or two? She never did that.
56:01
My My grandmothers as well, one of them got 10 kids, the other one got 13 kids. They worked every day.
56:15
My grandma from my dad's side, she gave birth to all her kids in her wooden house.
56:19
And then a couple of days later, she working back in the farm.
56:21
And she brought all her kids to America.
56:23
One by one, different time. Same with my grandma.
56:28
She had For my mom's side, she had 13 kids.
56:30
She used to cook cook cook cook soul food soul food soul food.
56:33
She brought all her 13 kids over here. Like it's no excuse.
56:37
But I could say that because they did that.
56:40
And you're going to be able to say that about me.
56:41
Like it's like, my mom worked every day.
56:43
I seen my mom work every day. Be that. Be that.
56:49
One day you're going to have kids one day and you want your kids to say that about you.
56:52
That you worked hard every day.
56:54
That everything you got you deserved it. That you made it. Nobody gave it to you.
56:58
You don't want to be like, you're just you're just successful because you're a whole man.
57:02
Like I have son I have a son.
57:07
You don't want nobody say that you you fly and you fire because you somebody's son.
57:14
No, I'm fly because I'm my own man. I made myself a man. I worked my ass off.
57:19
You going to have a [ __ ] one day.
57:21
You don't want your [ __ ] to be like, he a mama's boy. He a daddy's No.
57:26
I'm a hardworking man, baby girl. You Go on. Same with my daughters.
57:29
You know [ __ ] going to roll you over cuz you got your own [ __ ] You're more than just a pretty face. Be a boss. Be something. Please.
57:37
I don't give a [ __ ] what they do.
57:40
Whatever the [ __ ] just just do not have that lazy bone on you.
57:45
Like the the Ain't no way that I'm busting my ass for you [ __ ] Just so you could end up not being [ __ ] I'm giving y'all everything every even when even when they 18 and it's stuff like that and it's time to leave.
57:58
If you want a apartment, if you want a if you want a a car, I'll give it to you.
58:02
But please please become something.
58:10
Don't be noth- Please don't be nothing.
58:13
That'll be the worst disappointment they could ever do.
58:14
Don't disappoint me like that.
58:17
Whatever the [ __ ] y'all do, just don't be a nothing.
58:21
If if you give it to them though, don't you think they'll be lazy then?
58:23
Cuz if you give them an apartment and you give them a car, then they'll feel like, "Well, I don't need to work cuz mom's got me."
58:30
No, because it's like like All right, for example, I I I went to college I went to college, right?
58:36
But I had to drop out of college because I had to work to just feed myself.
58:38
If you got a crib and if you could maneuver to to college or you probably want to open up a business or something.
58:47
If you could maneuver and you don't got to worry about a bill then it becomes easier for you.
58:54
But don't get Don't make me give you an apartment or [ __ ] car and you just out here not doing [ __ ] I better Every single time I FaceTime you, you better be [ __ ] doing something.
59:04
If you in bed at [ __ ] 12:00 p. m. Yeah.
59:11
Ain't that car under my name? Or it's coming with me.
59:14
You need a You need a real world. >> Yeah.
59:16
You need You I I'm going to have to And don't go to your daddy.
59:20
You know, let me go and see your [ __ ] daddy.
59:23
I will take the [ __ ] away. I don't play that.
59:25
You ain't going to be nothing.
59:28
Yeah, you're clear about that.
59:30
>> You got two feet, you got two hands, you got a brain.
59:32
You better do some [ __ ] Yeah, for sure.
59:35
I I found I found like I started working when I was 14.
59:38
I used to deliver newspapers at the time.
59:40
And then I started working at a grocery store.
59:42
I used to work at the back and stack the shelves, pick up all the pallets, bring all the goods in, work back of house, and then I worked and sold jeans at some jeans shop.
59:52
It's like I found working since I was 14 is what made me realize the value of work.
59:57
And I've been working hard ever since and it's if I didn't start working hard at 14, I feel like my parents didn't have anything to give me either. Yeah.
1:00:05
But I feel like that work ethic has to start early.
1:00:10
It do have to start early and that's why like I said, like sometimes when my Here come my parents sometimes.
1:00:14
My parents they be getting on my nerves sometimes.
1:00:17
Like they be getting on my [ __ ] nerves sometimes because like my kids they have school to 3:00 p. m. , right?
1:00:22
And after school, I don't care and I don't want y'all at home talking about like I'm a little tough and [ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ] This is what I work hard for.
1:00:30
After school, my kids four times a week they have tutoring, reading, math, whatever the [ __ ] They have tutoring. Mandatory in my house.
1:00:38
Then Coach you have piano or she got gym class.
1:00:42
Wave he got sports class and he still got to do the tutoring.
1:00:47
And I don't know, I'm still I'm sleepy.
1:00:49
I don't I don't want to hear that [ __ ] I don't want to hear that [ __ ] It's discipline.
1:00:53
It got to be in you and you have to be better than me.
1:00:58
I want you to be better than me.
1:01:00
There's things that I cannot do that I want my kids to do.
1:01:03
I don't know how to swim. I would love to swim.
1:01:09
But the one time I went to a pool in Highbridge, there was a crazy fight that broke out.
1:01:15
People was getting cut left to right.
1:01:17
So I couldn't go swimming because I didn't have no pool.
1:01:21
If I have a pool, you going to learn how to swim.
1:01:22
You're going to take your swimming classes.
1:01:26
I'm not really good with my feet.
1:01:28
So, you're going to take dance classes because if you want to if you ever want to be a superstar, that's your going to be in you that you are a dancer. Mhm.
1:01:33
I want you to be smarter than me. Like I could read down.
1:01:41
But my grammar's not that great.
1:01:41
I want you to be not perfect cuz you cannot make your kids perfect and you don't want you to put pressure on your kids perfect, but I want you to be a a hundred time better version than me. Mhm.
1:01:54
And I'm going to install that in you.
1:01:56
And you're going to be mad and you're going to be crying, but you're going to appreciate that one day cuz I wish I wish the things that that I put on my kids that I that somebody put in me when I was younger. Mhm.
1:02:08
But they couldn't put that in me when I was younger because they couldn't afford it and they couldn't really have time to be like Kulture, Brooklyn, Brooklyn, Brooklyn, Hennessy, Hennessy, Hennessy because they had to work. Mhm.
1:02:19
I have to work, but I'm going to give you classes for it. Yeah. Grab me something, boy. Grab me something, girl. I'm playing with y'all. I love it. I love it.
1:02:27
You success is so much of who you are. It's who you breathe. It's what you do.
1:02:34
What makes Cardi B happy?
1:02:37
It's like little little elements like my kids make me very happy.
1:02:39
They're just so [ __ ] cute and funny like it's just And they say stupid stuff like it's like What do they say?
1:02:48
Just things that is like what Girl, what? It's funny.
1:02:55
It's and it's funny seeing your kids grow and develop a little character and they're like when my baby, she be hitting her brother and her sister, it'd be so funny to me cuz it's like a baby and she's And they're and they're just there taking it.
1:03:08
So, to me the little things like that is funny and makes me happy. Romance.
1:03:14
You know what I'm saying?
1:03:14
When I'm when I'm in love and when we having a good you know we having a good week when you showing that you care, that makes me happy.
1:03:23
You know actually when I did saw a piece of an interview with Selena Gomez and you where she said I might have a 14-hour day and just one phone call and knowing somebody's there for you is a good feeling.
1:03:41
That's a good feeling as well.
1:03:45
What else is a good feeling for me?
1:03:48
When I'm with my cousins when I'm with my family and we just cracking jokes and it just feels it feels like it feels like childhood. It makes me happy.
1:03:57
Music make me very happy. I love music.
1:04:03
When me and my team we plan something we put in so much work and it goes good, that makes me happy.
1:04:08
That makes me happy, the team happy and then motivates me and then motivate my team and it more and it's just like we did it.
1:04:18
So stuff like that stuff like that makes me happy.
1:04:21
Seeing all the work that you do and the time that you put, the process, the progress that you put and it's like it hits, it's successful, that makes you really happy.
1:04:32
Like it's like thank God, thank you Jesus.
1:04:34
It makes you want to keep going.
1:04:37
Just like >> That's a good list. >> Yeah. That's a good list. I like it.
1:04:39
So So connection, it's all real as human, it's love, it's family, it's >> Mhm.
1:04:45
friends, it's intimacy, it's it's it's all the it's all it is all the most beautiful things that we're all looking for.
1:04:50
How do how do you see love now?
1:04:52
Like how do you define love?
1:04:56
effort It's not going to always be perfect.
1:04:59
Effort is is like a lot to me.
1:05:02
It means a lot to me like calling me, studying me personality as well. I love me a joke. I love me a hee hee hee.
1:05:11
You know what I'm saying?
1:05:11
Like if you if if I if I come to you and I'm in tears, when was the last week?
1:05:18
I saw I saw my little boyfriend I saw my boyfriend and I was in tears.
1:05:22
I was like, "It's so much pressure on me."
1:05:26
Like, "It's so much pressure on me."
1:05:27
And just one little joke it make I like I'm in tears.
1:05:33
I kind of forgot the joke, but it was so funny. That's good though.
1:05:35
And like snot coming out of my nose and it's like it made me laugh.
1:05:39
It just made me feel good and it's like, "You know what?
1:05:40
Things are going to be okay." Yeah.
1:05:44
Someone you can Someone you can Someone who can make you laugh, cry, and someone who can be there for you when you're crying real hard tears. >> Yeah. I like that. And I like effort.
1:05:52
I like what you said, "Study you."
1:05:53
That was really interesting.
1:05:56
Now, I've never heard that before, but I like it.
1:05:57
The idea that if someone loves you, they study you. Mhm.
1:06:00
What is What does that mean to you? Tell me about that. I like that one a lot.
1:06:03
Certain things are just the obvious.
1:06:05
You know what I'm saying?
1:06:06
Like, certain things is like, "Are you really studying me or is just the obvious?"
1:06:09
Like, for example, if you get me a purse, if you get me a a Birkin or a Kelly, right?
1:06:16
It makes me happy, of course.
1:06:16
Like, who who don't who Which Which woman don't a bag make them happy?
1:06:22
But, you know that that's what I like.
1:06:24
So, it's not like you study it.
1:06:24
It's that you see it on my page.
1:06:26
But, like when you do things that you don't normally do, but you're doing it because you heard me talk about this.
1:06:35
Like, like when you rent a castle and I know you don't want to be in this old ass castle that you literally got to go up and down the stairs just so you could pee and it's hot and there's no air conditioner.
1:06:48
When you rent a castle out just so you could just because you you keep saying like, "Oh, I can't wait I can't wait to have a day off in Paris so I could go to Versailles.
1:07:00
I'm obsessed with castles. I'm obsessed with kings.
1:07:03
I'm obsessed with queens."
1:07:05
And it's like you listen to that and you like do your best to make it happen.
1:07:10
It's like it's like little things like that. Yeah.
1:07:14
So, you were just leaving clues.
1:07:16
It's not even like leaving clues.
1:07:16
It's just like me talking about my >> just you talking. >> It's me talking.
1:07:19
It's like It It means stuff to me and stuff like that.
1:07:24
When you get to know my personality, too, and get to study me, it's like, okay.
1:07:33
Cuz I'm a I'm a I think I'm a hard person to figure out.
1:07:35
Some people just see me and think certain thing until you really get to figure me out and crack me. Mhm.
1:07:42
Cuz I might give you what I want to give you.
1:07:46
You haven't cracked me yet. Mhm.
1:07:50
Will anyone ever crack you? Is it possible? Yeah.
1:07:55
Little by little I open up. Mhm.
1:07:58
And I show more of myself. Mhm. Real self. Yeah.
1:08:03
It's been It's been 7 years since you released new music.
1:08:07
And you've talked to me about releasing it, the hard work that went into it, the journey that got you there, why you waited.
1:08:15
What finally made you feel confident that you had the right piece of work?
1:08:18
What did you put into it?
1:08:18
How did you know that now is the right time and the work was ready? Because it feels good. It feels good.
1:08:26
Like it's like this I feel like people are missing this. Mhm. It feels good. I feel good.
1:08:33
I feel confident about it. Mhm.
1:08:37
I feel very confident about it, to be honest with you.
1:08:40
So, that's why that's why I'm like, it's time. Yeah.
1:08:42
Where Where did the name Am I the Drama What inspired that?
1:08:46
What did What did What's What's the subtext?
1:08:48
What's the hidden meanings behind it?
1:08:51
>> I don't want to keep saying when I was a little girl.
1:08:54
But it's funny like it's like Say it.
1:08:54
I love I love knowing that you manifested this. It's beautiful.
1:08:58
No, cuz it's like ever since I was a little girl, I always get in trouble.
1:09:07
And it don't really be me.
1:09:07
Like it's like, if we having a sleepover, me and my cousins, I will be the one that the aunt is pulling their ears cuz it's like, "Yeah, I know this was your idea."
1:09:17
But it even was it wasn't even my idea.
1:09:19
And sometimes when I used to go to school and I used to fight, my mom used to be like, "Didn't I tell you to avoid the fight?"
1:09:27
And it's like, "Mom, I swear to God it's not me.
1:09:30
It's these girls, they keep trying me.
1:09:32
That's why I keep getting into fights."
1:09:35
And and when I was in school, too, like it's like, when I do get in trouble just because I'm being mischievous, it's like, like my friends' moms used to be like, "It's cuz of her.
1:09:45
It's cuz of it It's cuz of Belcalis. I know it's her."
1:09:47
And it's like, "It don't really be me. It really don't be me."
1:09:51
And that's just how it is with my life.
1:09:54
Like it's like, "Yo, I'm always in a scandal.
1:09:55
I'm always in some [ __ ] I'm always in some beef."
1:10:01
And it's like, no matter how much I avoid it, it comes to me. Am I the [ __ ] drama? Is it me, Jesus? Is it me?
1:10:13
No matter how much I avoid it, no matter how much I think I'm in a bubble and it's like, nope, that bubble is always going to pop.
1:10:20
Something is always going to find you, girl.
1:10:25
But that's why I like to Am I the drama?
1:10:26
Is Why am I always in some [ __ ] Whether it's good or bad.
1:10:31
Why am I always in some [ __ ] What's the answer? Am I?
1:10:39
That's the That's that The answer is through the question, am I? Am I?
1:10:48
Only one person can answer that. And that's Jesus.
1:10:52
Cuz God, why the [ __ ] am I always in some [ __ ] When is the [ __ ] boat going to start smooth sailing?
1:10:58
Why we always in the ocean, in the middle of the ocean, in the roughest We in the We in the Pacific Ocean all the time. I love that. It's a great question. It's a great question.
1:11:11
It lines up for a great album.
1:11:14
It's It's It's such a great name.
1:11:14
It's such a great It's such a great energy.
1:11:18
Even just hearing you talk about it is such a great vibe.
1:11:20
What's the uh I mean, how does it feel when that drama gets televised?
1:11:24
And then it's all over TikTok. How does that feel? Look.
1:11:29
Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.
1:11:31
Well, you always show up looking fabulous, but I'm like, how how does that feel when like you know Well, I try to come in here having eyes like you, but one of One of the contacts wasn't cooperating.
1:11:43
So, I'm like, I'm not taking this other contact off.
1:11:45
So, that's why we have the uh >> Yeah, and that's why we got three blue eyes and one set instead of four. I love it. I love it. I love it. So.
1:11:52
How does it feel when when your drama is televised?
1:11:57
Like when that is televised, how does that feel?
1:11:59
It just feels Sometimes it feels okay cuz there's going to be people that's going to cheer for you and sometimes going to be very overwhelming, like and very stressful, very annoying, and then it's like Unlike other celebrities you know, a lot of people be wanting me to be like certain celebrities and stuff like that. >> Oh, really? Like who?
1:12:22
Like they just want me to be like the type of person that just don't respond, that don't tell my feelings.
1:12:30
And they be thinking that some of these celebrities like they're perfect.
1:12:37
Which they are amazing, but don't think they're not going through what I'm going through.
1:12:42
Don't think they don't feel like what the pressure they that I go through.
1:12:46
Don't think they're not saying Yeah, I hate you [ __ ] What the [ __ ] you think you are to tell me that I'm this this What the [ __ ] you think you this and that?
1:12:57
I'm just the person that tells it.
1:13:01
So, it's a blessing and a curse because sometimes I feel like I I speak for them and that's why when a lot of celebrities see me, they be like, "Yo, you be saying what I want to say." That's cool.
1:13:14
But then sometimes it's like a curse because sometimes people be like it's like, "Oh, you the only one that do that.
1:13:19
You the only one that do that."
1:13:20
And it's like, "Well, I'll be the one that do that." Yeah.
1:13:21
I can't do it all the time though cuz then people going to think I'm just crazy.
1:13:26
But I'll be the one that do that.
1:13:26
Y'all need to leave [ __ ] people alone.
1:13:30
Y'all think because as a celebrity we make a little money and we make a little this like it's like, "Bitch, I feelings too, ho.
1:13:38
I ain't no chopped liver.
1:13:42
So, maybe that's why I'm sometimes like the punching bags.
1:13:45
And sometimes people be like, "You need to stop doing that.
1:13:47
You need to stop being this.
1:13:48
You need You need to be more like them."
1:13:50
And it's like, "They feel the same way I feel too.
1:13:53
They want to tell these people [ __ ] you.
1:13:56
[ __ ] you and your mom and your dad and your whole bloodline.
1:14:02
What the [ __ ] you talking on me? [ __ ] you.
1:14:05
Trust me, they want to say that to They want to say that >> Yeah, I think everyone does. Yeah.
1:14:09
But I'll be the one to say it.
1:14:13
But that's because sometimes it do feel good to say it. [ __ ] you. [ __ ] [ __ ] you. I'll be the one. Yeah.
1:14:25
Not all the time, but I'll be the one. Yeah.
1:14:27
Yeah, I can I can see that from all the clips that I've seen.
1:14:29
Like you're always yourself.
1:14:30
Like you're never not yourself wherever you are.
1:14:35
The glam, the looks, the fashion, the wigs, the everything that comes out of your mouth.
1:14:40
It's like you're never you're never filtering yourself.
1:14:41
No matter the environment you're in. >> Oh, trust me. I I filter said a lot. Oh, you do?
1:14:48
Yeah, I Sometimes I feel like I think who the [ __ ] am I?
1:14:52
Who the [ __ ] have I become?
1:14:52
Cuz I I used to have no filter.
1:14:54
Now it's just like I'll be like, all right.
1:14:58
But still, [ __ ] you, though.
1:15:01
Where do you filter yourself, if you ever do?
1:15:02
Where do you filter yourself? This mouth. I could be a piranha. What are we today? A shark?
1:15:18
No, today's No, today I'm a goldfish.
1:15:19
Okay, today you're a goldfish.
1:15:22
>> I said nothing bad today. Today I'm a goldfish. I'm really nice today. You have been wonderful.
1:15:26
But it's like sometimes I be seeing people and I'll be like I could get really nasty. This all facts.
1:15:34
I could get really nasty.
1:15:36
But you hold back sometimes. >> back so much.
1:15:38
I hold back I hold back so much so much so much so much so much so much. I really You know what?
1:15:44
I really did change a lot.
1:15:46
I don't know what changed me. Maybe Maybe the age. Maybe the kids. Maybe life. You softened up a bit.
1:15:55
I've always been soft, but I could I could really give it to you. And I won't stop. But I stopped. Just for mhm. Is it the age? Is it the kids? Which Which one is it? Or all of them? All of the above? >> It's a combination. Mhm. Age really wise you.
1:16:14
Wise you and make you afraid. Yeah. Got more to lose. Mhm.
1:16:21
That That I think that plays a big part. Mhm.
1:16:23
When you're young and you're dreaming and you want all these things, no one ever tells you the cost that it comes at. Yeah.
1:16:30
And how much it tests you and brings all sorts of other challenges into your life. Yeah.
1:16:35
Yeah, you you've talked about how money doesn't fix everything and success doesn't solve everything. Mhm.
1:16:45
And and it almost feels like when you don't have those things, you think it will. Yeah.
1:16:48
And then when you get it, you realize, "Oh, wait, there's all this other stuff that we haven't figured out yet."
1:16:54
What is What is something that you're still trying to figure out, learn, solve in your own life?
1:16:59
What What's What's the part of your life you're like working on, dreaming, envisioning, imagining to be better and different? I mean, life in general. >> All of it?
1:17:09
All of it, to be honest with you.
1:17:11
Life just doesn't get I wonder when life is going to do start getting easier. Cuz life is just hard.
1:17:19
No matter if you have money or not.
1:17:22
You got problems when you poor, you got problems when you rich.
1:17:27
You just always just trying to figure out every single day I feel like people is just trying to figure it out, trying to figure themselves out, trying to figure life out.
1:17:33
And it just will never stop. Mhm.
1:17:35
It will never stop, I think. When will do it stop? When you're 60?
1:17:40
But even when you're 60, you're going to start having other problems. Like back problems.
1:17:47
And it's like another thing, another problem that you got to figure out.
1:17:48
You know what I'm saying?
1:17:50
Like it's like it's just will never stop. >> Yeah.
1:17:52
The older you get, the more people you lose.
1:17:54
The more kids you have, the more things you have to worry about.
1:17:56
The more money you have, the the more you have to learn about managing.
1:18:02
You have a partner or where you don't have a partner, you got to figure out how you If you want to how you want to deal with being alone.
1:18:10
When you have a partner, is that how you got to figure out how to be their peace in everything.
1:18:17
And I really don't want people thinking either that it's like just because you have money, like it's like you live the easy life.
1:18:23
Everybody that that have money that are successful, that are good, how well they do, if you notice a pattern, they work their asses off.
1:18:34
You think that Beyoncé got a [ __ ] boat and imagining this and that because she's just Beyoncé?
1:18:39
No, she worked her ass off.
1:18:41
She's one of the most hardest people ever.
1:18:43
Why people cannot go to her level?
1:18:45
Why people cannot this and that?
1:18:45
Because they just she just have a insane work ethic. Insane time.
1:18:54
And my partner, he wakes up every day at 5:30, 6:00 a. m.
1:18:56
and leave work at 7:00 p. m.
1:18:59
and then you got people that hate on him and it's like what what why he so good? Cuz he works hard. Mhm.
1:19:07
Why am I here after 7 years?
1:19:07
Cuz I'm every day every day working every day, what we doing next? Hello, what y'all doing? Wake up. I got something planned.
1:19:18
I just I just thought of something.
1:19:19
I just had a dream or something.
1:19:21
We got to make it happen.
1:19:23
And working hard, you could say working hard and it sounds like working hard, but it's like it's hours and hours hours and time and body and brain. Mhm. I'm exhausted.
1:19:31
I'm really exhausted right now. Back hurt, butt hurt.
1:19:37
I'm sleepy as [ __ ] I got a headache on the right side of my head. Mhm. But I'm working. Yeah. After this Yeah.
1:19:44
I got to do a promo shoot and then I'm going to the studio and then tomorrow I got to do something else.
1:19:49
Every single day, every single day, every single day.
1:19:50
If you want it, you got to do it. Yeah.
1:19:52
No complaining, no crying [ __ ] In this conversation you've talked about Jesus, you talked about the devil.
1:19:58
Do you talk to God a lot? Do you pray? Every day. Every day? Mhm.
1:20:01
I feel like I have a very deep spiritual connection with God.
1:20:12
And it's not even like about praying, it's like talking.
1:20:13
Like even when I talk to God, I talk to him just like I'm talking to you. Mhm.
1:20:17
I'll be cursing >> I love that.
1:20:18
crying Cuz people be like, "Oh, cursing is bad."
1:20:21
But it's like God God know God knows who God knows who I am.
1:20:23
God knows God knows how I be.
1:20:26
Like it's like it's almost like I'm talking to a friend. Mhm.
1:20:30
And I really do believe in my weird mind, in my weird universe that I made, like I have I have angels.
1:20:40
I really do believe that God gave me angels. And I believe in them.
1:20:45
I feel like God is here, and I feel like you got your angels here, then you got your other religions here.
1:20:51
I believe in God so much, it's not even funny.
1:20:57
And you know, some people might not believe in God, but it's like don't try like it's like I'm not going to convince nobody to believe in what I believe in.
1:21:04
But if it how you expect me not to believe on the person that I've been praying to my whole life and gave me what I wanted?
1:21:14
So that little girl was talking to God in that dream. >> Always, all the time.
1:21:19
It's like the the imaginary friend, the voice in your head that you think is your friend, that you think is your your your voice.
1:21:24
That's That's just what That was just you talking to God the whole time. Mhm.
1:21:30
That's just you talking to God the whole time. I love him. I believe in him.
1:21:33
I always tell this to somebody like it's like the most the most the most I could give you, the most powerful thing that I could give you is me praying on you.
1:21:43
If I pray on you for you, it's cuz I love you.
1:21:47
It's the most powerfulest thing.
1:21:50
And I do feel like when you pray together, miracles happen. I love him. Mhm. Love you so much.
1:21:56
Why do you love me so much?
1:21:59
Why do you love me so much?
1:22:01
Tell the Tell Tell Tell Say it already.
1:22:03
I'm like one of your favorite kids. Tell them.
1:22:06
Jesus Lord, tell these people I'm one of your favorites. Don't lie to them. Don't lie to them. That's beautiful.
1:22:14
Cardi, you've been so so generous with your time, your energy, your heart.
1:22:19
I really felt you know, this surpassed every one of my expectations that I had of meeting you and getting to interview you. Hey, your wife.
1:22:25
I I knew there was so much I knew there was so much spirit.
1:22:28
I knew there was so much soul.
1:22:30
I knew there was there was just this energy inside that that I'm I'm really grateful you let share today and and people got to know you a bit more deeply.
1:22:38
Uh we we end every episode with a final five.
1:22:40
These questions have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum.
1:22:46
So, Cardi B, these are your final five. You know I talk a lot. I know. You can. You can.
1:22:50
You You think I can answer with one word?
1:22:52
I'm giving you permission. You can. You can. All right. So, question number one.
1:22:56
We ask these to every guest who's been on the show.
1:22:57
What is the best advice you've ever heard or received?
1:23:02
Well, I'm going to go with one advice that I heard today.
1:23:07
No, I didn't hear it today. I heard it yesterday.
1:23:09
Ask the difficult questions.
1:23:14
The difficult questions make the relationship stronger. It could break it. It could make it.
1:23:22
But, you still have a understanding.
1:23:25
If you become that understanding, then y'all might become stronger. You said it better. You said it better.
1:23:31
Whoever said it, you said it better.
1:23:31
So, uh question number two.
1:23:33
What is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?
1:23:40
I think you've had a lot.
1:23:42
Sometimes when somebody told me to wear a certain outfit or when somebody told me to drop a certain songs, you never know.
1:23:49
It could go from here to that. Mhm. Question number three. Finish the sentence.
1:23:54
One thing I'll never apologize for is my mouth. My mouth. My mouth. My mouth.
1:24:03
Well, sometimes I might apologize for my mouth.
1:24:05
Sometimes I might Maybe I might laugh too hard. I don't know.
1:24:07
I'll I'll apologize for my mouth sometimes, but not all the time. Question number four.
1:24:13
What's something that you used to value that you don't value anymore?
1:24:20
Uh having have like the streets I value it a lot and I don't.
1:24:27
I value it because it made me and it gave me a certain mentality.
1:24:32
But I wouldn't want to advise that I advise it advise that to people that I love, people that I care or to young kids, to young boys, to young girls because it don't always lead you to where you think it's going to lead you. It's very grimy.
1:24:46
It don't love you back ever. Mhm.
1:24:51
And fifth and final question, we ask this to every guest who's been on the show, if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?
1:25:00
If I was Kim Jong-un What law? I'm not sure.
1:25:04
I got to come back to that. >> Yeah, think about it.
1:25:07
Matter of fact if you hurt children, you got to get What's that thing when they clip you? Castrate castrate size? Whatever it's called. >> yeah.
1:25:19
You just got to be clipped.
1:25:19
And if you're a woman, they need to burn it. Oh, wow. >> If you hurt kids. Wow.
1:25:25
>> Yeah, that should be a mandatory thing all over the world. Wow.
1:25:27
Cuz kids are so precious. Mhm. They're so precious. They're so innocent.
1:25:31
Well, some of them some of them are kind of evil.
1:25:34
They born with the devil inside.
1:25:37
Uh, you if you see dark memories, some of them is like, "Oh, [ __ ] You was born today.
1:25:41
You was born to be a devil."
1:25:44
Jesus Jesus upon you, child. Cardi B, everyone.
1:25:48
The album is called Am I the drama?
1:25:51
I'm so excited for everyone to hear it.
1:25:53
Love your energy, love your spirit.
1:25:55
So grateful to have spent this time together. Thank you. >> And uh, all the best.
1:25:58
God bless and I hope that you continue to succeed and win at life and keep being the energy and force that you are. So, thank you so much. >> Thank you. >> Thank you.
1:26:08
If you loved this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.
1:26:18
My fears are only going to continue to show me what I'm capable of.
1:26:24
The more that I face my fears, the more that I feel I'm gaining strength and gaining wisdom, and I just want to keep doing that.