0:00
Hey, I don't often do this, but I'm going to give you a note on how to listen to this episode.
Search this video
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I've never done this before, but I had to do it because of how powerful everything Shawn said was.
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The first thing is, watch out for the subtleties of what Shawn is saying. Mhm.
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Everything he's saying is experience, it's realization.
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So, you have to look out for the subtlety.
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Don't just go, "Oh, yeah, I know that.
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Kind of have heard that." Or, "No, no, no."
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It's it's focus on the subtlety of the application.
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That's step one for listening to this podcast.
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The second thing is have fun while you listen to this.
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Appreciate it, love it, let it flow.
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Uh, but definitely look out for the subtleties.
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I hope you enjoy this episode.
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Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world.
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Thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow.
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Investing in your mental health, investing in your mental fitness, investing in your relationships.
1:01
That's why you show up, and you know that one of my favorite things is listening to your comments, reading your reviews, and trying to figure out what resonated with you.
1:12
I'm on Twitter watching what you're tweeting.
1:14
I'm on Instagram stories seeing what you're tagging.
1:16
And today's episode is a special gift from our guest and myself to you because I don't think we've had an episode that has had more requests for a part two than today's guest.
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And that is not an understatement.
1:34
This is the most requested part two that we've ever had on On Purpose in the last three years.
1:41
And the guest is none other than my dear friend, someone that I met for the first time on the podcast last time.
1:49
Not only did that couple of hours create a deep lasting friendship since, it's created this desire to serve together, to have a brotherhood together, to create impact together.
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It's none other than my dear friend, incredibly talented, someone who needs no professional introduction, big Sean.
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People have been waiting, crying, asking for this. Yeah.
2:12
And you've been so generous and kind.
2:15
We've been talking about this ever since we did the first episode.
2:19
Yeah, we needed to do part two.
2:19
It's been like on our It's been on our to-do list, you know?
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Absolutely, and we're doing it.
2:24
And I just I I just want to let people know like off screen like, you know, I knew you were deep Mhm.
2:31
before you came to the show last time.
2:31
I knew that you were a deep thinker, you worked on yourself, you have this incredible relationship with your mom who's influenced you so deeply. Yeah.
2:41
But I didn't realize just how much of a brotherhood we were going to have and what a connection we were going to have. Right, right.
2:47
And I didn't realize how much people were going to love seeing us together.
2:51
When I saw the response and you felt it, too, right?
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Yeah, of course, I felt it like the people who are into me were just, you know, blown like the interview, the whole interview is the only interview that I've been out in public and people are like, "Yo, I saw the the Jay Shetty interview.
3:06
Like, I saw I saw I heard the interview. I saw the podcast."
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Like, literally every other time I go somewhere, you know, somebody approaches me like that.
3:15
So, the impact is unbelievable, you know?
3:20
That's what we do it for, right?
3:20
And since I came and linked up with you, we've had dinner at your house and Lemy, you, Janay, your wife, we all just been like kicking it.
3:28
So, it's cool to It's cool to deliver part two.
3:30
I feel like it's needed and necessary, you know?
3:33
Yeah, and part two means there'll be a part three and a part four, so we'll keep going.
3:36
So, there's no no limit, but Yeah.
3:38
Yeah, I want to thank you for just, you know, saying that because even your community that I got to connect with Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
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Your fans and your audience are incredible.
3:47
Like, I just saw this whole new group of people connect with my work because of you, through you. Yeah. And vice versa, too.
3:56
Yeah, and I was just like, I didn't realize that all these people would would care about the things I'm talking about.
4:01
And so, I want to thank you.
4:01
I want to thank your community.
4:02
I want to thank your audience who just showed me so much love, who they may not have even known who I was, but thanks to you, they they made a connection.
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a mission to be better, you know?
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They're on a mission to work on themselves.
4:14
And the whole world is going through so much right now. It's crazy, you know?
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So, that's one of the things I've been focusing on.
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I just been like really focusing on mastering myself more, still putting time into myself, just trying to be the silence and still in amongst the the noise and the chaos.
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And then when things are still and stagnant, to know when it's time to move, you know?
4:39
I'm really trying to find that balance.
4:40
It's like the yin and the yang and how there's like a little dot of each in the parts of the yin and yang.
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It's like that's what my life is trying to be.
4:49
Like trying to be the stillness in the chaos and the movement and trying to be the movement in the stagnation of things, you know? I love that.
4:57
Trying to be the stillness in the movement and trying to be the movement in the stillness.
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And are you saying external or internal?
5:04
Like how are you how are you learning to watch that in yourself? both, right?
5:08
So, it's like the external and the internal are so connected, right?
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So, I just have been realizing that it it most of the things that are external start internally, right?
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So, that's what I use it starts with internal.
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That's why I start my day with meditation, you know?
5:21
And the fact that we went through so many meditations last time we we met up.
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Man, that was so helpful because I learned I meditate every morning.
5:29
And I like to ask you, like what does meditation do for you like when you do it?
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Like what does it do for you?
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This this as we did last time, so I'm trying to figure out which which ones everyone's going to see first, but either way, Big Sean and I did a brilliant Men's Health collab to talk about the power of wellness and meditation.
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It was historic because it was the first time Men's Health are doing a train like me, but based on meditation, ever.
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It's always been physical. Right.
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And so me and you got to do this. cool, man? It's so cool.
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We got to do it together. It's awesome.
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And so I love that and you know, we worked on that together.
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And I have three different types of meditation.
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So one type of meditation, breath work, is for my body. Yeah.
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So if I'm feeling like my body's tired Mhm.
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or I'm feeling like my body needs energy or my body needs to relax, Mhm. I practice breath work. Yeah. I then do visualization.
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So if I'm going into a scenario that causes me anxiety or fear, Mhm.
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I will visualize not the perfect outcome, Mhm. but the perfect process.
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So I'll visualize myself doing that process.
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So for example, if I'm about to speak on stage to thousands of people, I won't visualize people clapping and thinking you're amazing.
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I'll visualize myself walking up those steps onto stage, Mhm.
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walking back and forth on stage, looking at the audience in their eyes, Connecting with them.
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connecting with people in their hearts and souls. So I'll visualize that. It's important. It's so important.
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And then the third type of meditation I do is mantra.
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And mantra to me is what connects me to the universe, connects me to God, connects me to my soul.
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It's what connects me to my service to the world.
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And so mantra's my third.
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So I practice all three every morning and each of them give me a different practice and different benefit that I need it for, if that makes sense.
7:23
Yeah, it makes total sense. Yeah.
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I change my meditations up frequently from I do mantra meditation sometimes and sometimes I do just guided meditations that are specifically for me, maybe for that week, things I'm really like not necessarily trying to accomplish, but things that I put in my consciousness, things that I want to approach uh right, but more importantly, it just gets me right for the day, man.
7:45
It's like Like I said, it's like taking a shower like after you work out and you take that shower and you feeling fresh, like that's what it does for my consciousness, my energy, and things just flow better, you know what I'm saying?
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I feel like I'm literally lifting my vibration up to a higher place of like just to be successful, you know what I mean?
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And it all starts right there for me.
8:06
And you can't do it a right or wrong way.
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There's no There is no right or wrong in doing it.
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The fact you take the time out to just uh be with yourself, to breathe.
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Your mind is going to race all over the place sometimes.
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Sometimes it doesn't, sometimes it does.
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You bring it back to your breath, you bring it back to maybe whatever you're listening to, and just the fact that you take that time out to breathe and to spend that time on yourself, you're going to feel a incredible difference every time. It's like a menu. Yeah.
8:36
In the sense of when you go to eat at a restaurant, you don't want to eat the same thing every day. Right.
8:41
So, one day you're feeling like, "Oh, I need a little bit of this."
8:43
So, one day you need a little bit of that.
8:44
And so, I think we have to look at meditation as like, "Okay, well, maybe I need to do an anxiety meditation today." Yeah.
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Or maybe I need to do a connection or a forgiveness meditation today or an empathy.
8:55
And I think we're living at a time right now where you can choose whether you're on YouTube or Spotify or wherever you are. Right.
9:03
has some phenomenal meditation mantras and meditations.
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We actually just did one where we I led a meditation and she was um sound healing at the same time.
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It was like an experience. seen that. I know.
9:15
We You know, it was our first time doing it, so we were trying it out, but it's something that you know, we wanted to just test out and try, and people really enjoyed it and benefited from it, but it's so many different ways of getting that energy out there like like that, right?
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So, yeah, there is no right or wrong way to do it.
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It's just you know, I realized that to it's the richest thing you could do for yourself. You know what I mean?
9:39
And when I say that word rich, I don't just mean it like money, right?
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Because you could be rich in a lot of ways.
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And I have experienced people who are rich in money and still broke in a lot of ways.
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Broke meaning broken, right?
9:53
But to me, the richest thing you could do for yourself is to not only just make yourself a priority, but to take that time out to be in the best position you can be in, right?
10:05
And to not be so caught up on what you want.
10:08
Just to kind of put the attention out there because when you're so caught up on what you want, it's so specific onto something, right?
10:16
It's like I want this new blue mug.
10:19
I want this new blue mug.
10:19
But at the same time, you're holding that vision of that new blue mug, it could be a a a green mug, a yellow mug, a gold mug that's sitting there waiting for you that's just as good or even better than this mug, but you are you're closing out all those possibilities.
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So it's important to you know, one of the things I do is I don't get so specific with my meditations.
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I just kind of say for the greater for whatever is best for me or what's the greatest, you know, for my happiness, for my joy, because that's where the real richness is.
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You know what I'm saying?
10:51
We've seen people who have all the money in the world who have committed suicide, right?
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Or you know, lead singers of groups, you know, we talk about Chester or you know, we talk about um Anthony Bourdain.
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All these different people who, you know, from the outside looking in, you would never guess, you know what I mean, that they're going through something.
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And everybody is going through something.
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You know, that's important as a society that remember everybody is going through something.
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We talk like we don't care what people are going through or like, you know, they're not going through something.
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Everyone's going through something really, really important right now that's really could be really, really hard.
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And even if they show it or not.
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And uh I think that when you when you take the time to create a rich life for yourself, uh that is the best thing you could do because when you take time to work on your internal or your external, it kind of takes the focus off trying to trying to worry or have anxiety about the things you can't change and realizing that the things you can't change can't change you. Mhm.
11:54
You know, so you get to that you get to that that that point of uh being able to go through anything.
12:00
It's like having armor on.
12:00
You know, you're going through the storm or having like layers on.
12:04
It's like they can't even get to you for real.
12:05
Every time I hear you talk, I shouldn't be surprised that you just constantly drop bars cuz that is what you do.
12:09
But literally, there were like there were like seven things you just said that I want to like piece apart.
12:14
Uh one of the things that I think you just mentioned, which was so powerful, was just you were like, "I don't I'm not I don't get specific." Yeah. And I love that.
12:23
I think that's actually such a fascinating thing because I think so much of what we're told today is, "Be specific about what you want. Mhm.
12:30
Be really specific about it." Mhm.
12:31
And the challenge is when you get too specific into that extreme, Yeah.
12:35
then you can't see what's right there in front of you that could be better. Mhm. be a different way. Mhm.
12:40
And I've always thought of it as like you have a projector screen in your head, which is your imagination of what it should look like. Right.
12:48
And then you have reality happening here. Mhm.
12:49
And you keep looking for this projection and you miss out, like you said, on the on the thing that's right there. And so Yeah.
12:58
I love the idea of not being specific because it releases you Mhm.
13:01
from your own insignificant goal. Yeah, it does. Right? It releases you.
13:08
If I if I got everything I ever asked for, Mhm.
13:12
I wouldn't be here today. No.
13:14
Because my goals were way too small, my ideas were way too small. Yeah.
13:18
And the universe and God and energy had way bigger plans for me than I had for myself.
13:23
I actually saw the interview you did with Lauren London, and she was talking about surrendering to the universe. You do.
13:27
You have to surrender, and you have to realize that, yeah, okay, and if you are specific, well, then just always make sure in that, you know, specification that you put, and more.
13:39
Or, and I'm open to whatever possibilities are are also available, or what other, you know, options there are.
13:46
You know, if you are specific, because we can be specific somewhat, but it you can't just be too specific and leave it there, like you were talking about.
13:53
You know, you could say, "Hey, I want to have the number podcast for, you know, that talks about mental health and all these things, right?"
14:01
But, you know, this this this specification of that it it's it's even bigger than that. Yeah. You know what I mean?
14:06
Your your your show everything you do is is way bigger than that.
14:10
You know, and it's a but you're open to all of those expansive options.
14:15
So, I just hope people realize that like whatever you want in life, first of all, wanting something is acknowledging the lack of it, right?
14:25
So, remember in our last interview I talked about God gives you what you ask for.
14:30
So, you have to really understand that it's, you know, I kind of don't say I want anything anymore.
14:35
I don't say that anymore.
14:37
I say, "I desire, or my intention."
14:38
You know, I don't say I want it because I'm just acknowledging over and over that I don't have it.
14:44
And I I don't want to match that vibration of not having it anymore.
14:49
So, instead, it's, you know, this is my intention, my desire, and I put myself vibrationally on that frequency of already happening, already being there. And that for me works.
14:58
You know, I don't know if that's works for everyone else, but you know, try it.
15:03
If If If life isn't uh going exactly how you want it to go, which, you know, is 99% of us in this world, try it that way. That's powerful.
15:14
For me, that hit right there, because I've heard people talk about what want means before, but the way you explained it Mhm.
15:23
when you want something, it often can remove gratitude.
15:25
And that doesn't stop you from desiring, and that's what I love what you said.
15:29
You say, "I desire, I intend, or my intention is."
15:33
It's not that you don't want to pursue or grow or evolve.
15:36
It's just that the word want as you correctly said, makes it feel like almost a sense of ingratitude for what you have. That's right.
15:46
And the lack of it starts eating away where you're chasing now versus pursuing.
15:51
I think of the difference between the word chase and pursue. Is there a difference? Chase feels desperate. It feels like fleeting.
16:00
It feels like if I don't have it, I'm incomplete. I want this. I'm I'm chasing this.
16:03
It's like, okay, like get I get that.
16:05
And you know, especially in the the industry we're in, it's like, yeah, it's great to have that hunger.
16:11
You know, it is good to have that, but it's never cool to just be desperate.
16:15
Like it's kind of like just always like uh realize those small things can make a big difference, especially when you're when you're manifesting something, you know? Yeah.
16:25
I I think that's great advice on manifestation.
16:27
I think that's really powerful, and I liked what you said about what you said about gratitude, though. Yeah.
16:34
Yeah, tell me how important that is to you.
16:35
Like how how to how often do you practice like gratitude?
16:37
Cuz I wake up every morning and I'm like thank you, man. Thank you, God.
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Like while I'm still half asleep, you know what I mean?
16:44
Because bro, like we're on the blessed side of the spectrum.
16:46
Just the fact that we get to wake up. Yeah.
16:48
I think gratitude is a daily, multiple times a day practice for absolutely everything.
16:56
I was saying earlier today to someone that if something went wrong today I would tell everyone about it. Mhm.
17:02
But if something went right today Right.
17:07
probably wouldn't tell anyone about it. Right? Right?
17:09
Like so, if if everything in my schedule went to plan, no one would hear about it. Mhm.
17:14
But if everything in my schedule went not to plan, I would tell everyone, "Oh my gosh, my flight got delayed.
17:20
Oh, and then I like missed eating my lunch.
17:22
And then I was late for this."
17:24
And I would tell everyone about it. does that mean?
17:27
Yeah, what does that mean?
17:27
It means that we are not noticing the greatness and the gifts in our life when everything goes to plan and we don't share that.
17:35
You never go to someone, "Oh, it was amazing.
17:36
Everything went to plan."
17:36
Like everything Like you wouldn't you wouldn't say, "Oh, my flight was on time. That's amazing."
17:40
We expect We expect things to happen well. Mhm.
17:42
And when you expect something to happen well, you stop feeling gratitude for it.
17:51
You stop feeling like, "Well, actually I'm really fortunate that this happened on time."
17:55
Yeah, and it makes it more pleasurable, right? Absolutely.
17:58
got when you got that gratitude and you you know, you feel just better about it.
18:01
Like, "Yeah, man, like Yeah, and and and I think also gratitude for everything from the smallest things.
18:07
Like to me, something I practice with my wife that's it came naturally and now I see it being beneficial, but if she's like helping me out with something or she does the tiniest thing, being able to be grateful for that rather than thinking, "Oh, well, you're my wife.
18:22
I expect you to do that." Right.
18:25
think the word expectation and the idea of expectations create a really unhealthy relationship with ourselves and with others. Right? What?
18:33
Yeah, setting expectations, that's like the recipe for disaster right there.
18:39
It's like you know, you got to just first of all, the gratitude and then somebody know that they're I I That's why every every almost I think every night at least that I can remember, every night that I work when I'm in the studio or working with people, I always tell my engineer like, "Man, you did a great job. You did great working."
18:56
You know, you could just see that they are wanting to keep doing a great job.
19:00
Everyone who works with me like, "You Man, you're doing a great job."
19:01
Like And that from just like my managers and every down to my assistant to every person who's involved in my life to my family members, my friends, I'll be like, "Man, you're doing a great job. You got to keep it up."
19:12
And it just is it's great to and I mean it, too.
19:14
I'm not just saying it because it's the same. No, I mean it.
19:18
If I didn't If I didn't think they were doing a great job, I wouldn't say that, you know?
19:20
I I would just be like, "Do better."
19:25
But but when they do a great job, you have to recognize that and not set yourself up for expectations cuz that's that's a recipe for disaster, man.
19:31
It's like expecting anything out of life, you know, even expecting to wake up.
19:36
It's like you can't even expect that.
19:38
That doesn't happen everyone. Yeah.
19:41
You know, so uh that's one of the one I read the book The Four Agreements and that's one of them.
19:47
Uh I think one of them was to not have expectations or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
19:52
I feel like also what you just said, whatever you recognize in someone, they'll repeat it. Mhm.
19:56
And it took me a long time to realize that if I make someone feel bad for something they don't do well, they actually get scared to try and do it right. Right.
20:12
If you make someone feel guilty Oh, yeah.
20:14
for something, they actually get more scared.
20:16
So, I used to do this My wife's the best example where I got this wrong for a long time. Mhm.
20:20
When my wife didn't understand how to, you know, what I wanted for my birthday or something like that. Oh, wow.
20:28
feel This is years ago when we were dating.
20:29
Like I don't know, like I don't know, maybe like 8 years ago or something. Okay.
20:33
And I would tell her like, "You don't You don't get me.
20:37
Like you don't understand me.
20:37
Like that's not what I wanted." Wow, that's harsh, man. So bad, man. So bad.
20:43
But I always thought that if I said that, then hopefully she would change and she would get it about how serious it is. Yeah.
20:50
And then she told me years later that that just made her more scared and fearful to try and get me a gift on my birthday. Wow.
20:59
Because she just felt she got it wrong all the time. Mhm.
21:02
And so we think that if we keep telling people they're getting it wrong, then they'll get it right. No. That doesn't work.
21:07
If you don't take the time to explain and to express and communicate and articulate what you really are looking for and why and where that comes from.
21:16
If you don't do that work, you can't expect someone to read your mind and understand you. No, you can't.
21:22
And we expect that so much from our partners right in relationships and everyone.
21:26
We get attitudes with them and it's just like like you said, they don't know what you're going through, you don't know what they're going through.
21:32
And on top of that, we're all just doing our best out here, man.
21:36
Like when you if you honestly ask me like that's what that's usually my answer for almost like how have you been doing?
21:43
It's like I'm not I'm doing my best, you know, and we all are doing our best in these times, right?
21:47
The world is going through so many things at once.
21:51
You know, I was talking to Sadhguru and he was telling me about how the soil is so messed up nowadays, you know, like we're getting 40% of the amount of food that the amount of nutrition we used to get from food is we get only get 40% of that now because of the soil has not been replenished, right?
22:10
And that you know, the population has gone from 4 billion to 8 billion people from 1960 to now or 9 billion now and soon it's going to go from 9 billion to 13 billion in you know, the next 30 some 40 years.
22:27
And they're saying that at that point if we don't replenish the soil and take care of the oceans and many other things that the famine is going to be not only at a a crazy crazy level we've never seen, but it's you know, food won't even be available. Wow. And or or affordable.
22:47
And you know, I was I was asking him like, man, how do we like how do we replenish the soil?
22:52
And one of the thing there's a lot of ways that you know, I can talk about that another time, but one of the things I was think he was saying that you know, as humans we're supposed to go back into the earth.
23:01
Mother nature, mother earth, we're supposed to go back into and replenish the soil, you know, and enrich the soil.
23:07
And I was thinking how sometimes we like, you know how we have like caskets and we like fill our fill our bodies, our shells with you know, whatever it is, the chemical to make us last forever.
23:17
But it's like we're never going to dig each we're never going to dig I'm never going to dig my grandfather up from his grave.
23:25
It's like I he needs to be replenished back into the earth because if you think about it that's just polluting the earth at that point.
23:31
That's almost like trash on the ground when you and no disrespect, you know, I don't mean that in any disrespectful way.
23:36
I just mean in a scientific way.
23:38
It's kind of like a matter that doesn't dispose, you know.
23:42
I'm not trying to I I get what you're saying.
23:43
You see you see what I'm saying because it is a very sensitive thing.
23:46
I you know, it's to talk about my relatives or even my grandfather who I love very much.
23:49
But what I'm saying is it would have meant just as much as he would have disposed back and became part of the soil in the earth. Mhm. You know what I mean?
23:57
And that's something to really pay attention to as the population grows and the space gets smaller and smaller and we need to build more and more developments over the soil that we really need to be feeding ourselves and taking care of the earth with, you know, what I mean? Yeah.
24:12
Yeah. Yeah, so that's that's something that the earth is just going that's another thing the earth is going through aside from the world you know, the possible world wars that could be upon us and besides from all the conflict and the you know, all these borders and just countries where slavery is still going
24:29
on and places is just you know, a a crazy amount of problems on this list that you know, that the world is going through and we just have to like really really boss up and be our best selves and you know, take care of ourselves to present our greatest version to the world, you know, to help out any way we can. Yeah, how
24:49
Yeah, how That's why this is so important.
24:51
Yeah, how how do you process that?
24:52
I'm intrigued because I I grapple with that a lot as well that exactly what you just said.
24:58
You look around the world Mhm.
24:59
whether it's poverty, racism, war, potential famine. Mhm.
25:02
Like, you're just seeing all of this, and I think a lot of people look at all of that Mhm.
25:08
and they get really overwhelmed. They do.
25:10
And then they feel helpless. Mhm.
25:12
And these are good people.
25:15
These are people who care. Of course.
25:17
They're empathetic people. Of course.
25:19
But then when they see all this, they just feel helpless and they feel confused and they feel disheartened. Mhm.
25:24
And then they don't know what to do or how to help, and then they feel paralyzed.
25:28
So, in that situation, how do you process this, or how do you think about getting involved?
25:34
Because the way I think about it is I realize that working on myself, as you rightly said, that's not going to solve it, but it helps me bring my best to the situation. 100%. Right?
25:49
Like, if I'm in a mess myself, it starts there, to me at least. It starts there.
25:54
Yeah, it's like I'm in a mess myself, how can I remove any mess?
25:56
The way it was explained when I lived as a monk is that if we ourselves are not trying to be purified, who are we to help cleanse anything? Right?
26:06
So, how can you cleanse something externally if you're not purifying yourself internally? It's not not possible. Mhm.
26:13
But then when you do that, the whole goal of working on yourself, and I think this is what's often missed, the whole point of self-care is service.
26:22
It's The whole point of internal purification is to help detox and cleanse externally, right?
26:27
That to me, the whole purpose of self-care is the complete opposite of being selfish.
26:35
You know, it's um it's actually, like you said, a service to the world.
26:37
So, when you were overwhelmed with all the anxiety of everything that's going on, you're overwhelmed with your you know, your personal problems and the world's problems, and just things seem to be too much. We all go through this.
26:51
It is the most important thing to rely on the faith that everything is going to be okay.
26:59
You know, and when you put your best foot forward, when you do take care of the the extra steps to take care of yourself to bring your best foot forward, you realize like we talked about last time that the faith that, you know, the reason that we're in this moment in the first place is cuz we have the ability to change this moment.
27:16
The great part about being in any situation, and whether you're up or down in life, is that it's a amazing opportunity, and you have the ability to change every situation, right?
27:27
situation, right? So, you know, when you have that faith like I talked about that invisible bridge, when you have that faith that you can just walk across and you don't really see how you're going to get across, but you know it's there, and you step on that off that cliff and onto the to
27:42
where you don't see anything and you still haven't fallen, that's what faith is, and that's what we have to have in each other as a society, and realize that the the more conscious we are, the more we work on ourselves, the the more steps we're taking to get to the to the other side of things. You know what I You know what I mean? Yeah.
27:59
And how do you think how do you develop that?
28:01
Because when I saw your face describing the the faith and the invisible bridge and the steps, when I watch you describe that, I can see that it's realized. Yeah.
28:12
it's a realization for you.
28:12
This isn't just some idea or something you read in a book or it's it's realized.
28:18
How did you develop that faith over the years?
28:21
Because it was a step-by-step process in being able to see that.
28:29
Because I think a lot of people, if you try and fake that faith, it doesn't work. Can't work, no. It doesn't work.
28:36
And if you try and avoid that faith, that doesn't work because you need to have something.
28:41
Like there was a amazing study I read recently, and they said that people who are involved in wars and stuck in trenches and stuck in the most difficult situations known to humanity Mhm.
28:58
when they had false hope Mhm.
28:58
and this is hope not faith.
29:01
When they had false hope they actually felt more dejected.
29:05
So, if they had the false hope that we'll be back by Christmas and they didn't get back by Christmas, that would break their resolve. Mhm.
29:16
But, if they believed we won't get back by Christmas, but we will get back. Mhm.
29:22
That allowed them to have faith to actually move forward.
29:25
That simple shift of not putting a timeline, not putting a deadline, not having false hope but having that long-term faith.
29:33
So, I wonder how do you how did you develop that because I think that's something that's not talked about enough is how is it developed?
29:41
I know it's a lot of yeah, I'm like Through no, through life, through experiences, through setting deadlines, setting expectations for myself and not realizing them from my worst fears the what I thought was my worst fear, the things that I wouldn't ever ever be able to you know, uh recover from, right? Or bounce back from.
30:02
It's like these things when they even happen, you realize that okay, I in the first place should never uh be mad at a timeline because how can I be mad at a timeline or something not getting done or a deadline when I'm on God's when I'm on moving at God's speed?
30:22
I'm not moving at my speed. I can set my intention.
30:24
I can give my attention to that intention of hopefully getting something done and make it done earlier.
30:30
I may want to finish something by April and it might get done in February.
30:34
You know, I may want to get something done in April and it won't be done till next April. Who knows? Because it's unknown.
30:39
But, when we embrace that unknown which a lot of us is hard to do because, you know, we always like to think about what's the worst that can happen instead of what's the best that can happen.
30:50
I had to change my whole mindset to think, "Okay, what's the best that can happen?"
30:57
You know, because I don't even want to attract what's the worst that can happen.
30:59
That's like such a normal saying that I'm like, "That saying is whack."
31:03
I I had to switch I had to flip it over to what's the best that can happen. You know what I mean?
31:08
Because I have 100% faith.
31:13
Just the fact that we wake up every day that everything is going to be all right. Yeah.
31:16
You know, just you know, and and get down to just the simplest things.
31:21
I like I love how you talk about breathing because you realize how much of a pleasure it is to to breathe.
31:26
If you hold your breath and don't breathe for, you know, I can hold my breath for like a minute and a half and you don't breathe and then when you breathe and exhale and inhale, you realize how much of a pleasure it is for real to even just be on be here today breathing. Yeah. You know what I mean? so well said.
31:44
Yeah, it's just we would choose to breathe over anything if you had to be forced to choose. Right. Right?
31:51
Because everything else would not be an experience if you couldn't breathe. Yeah. Right? not promised.
31:58
Breath isn't promised, right?
32:00
Your lungs could shut down.
32:00
The The earth, the environment could change at any moment, you know?
32:04
Something a natural catastrophe or disaster could happen and that could be immediately taken away from us.
32:09
Recently I was reading from I was reading from Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning Again. Mhm.
32:15
And I think it's called 12 Gifts for Life by Edith Eger.
32:22
So, they both survived the Holocaust. Mhm.
32:24
And I was reading that because of what's happening in the world Mhm.
32:29
and to me at this time when the world's going through these things, the only people I can turn towards are the people who've lived through it. Right.
32:41
I often think that those are the people that can guide us the deepest. Yeah.
32:43
And so, when people ask me for my guidance at these times, I go, "Let's look at these people's guidance." Yeah.
32:52
Because they were actually there.
32:54
Like Edith and Victor talk about them being in the concentration camps, seeing people dragged, seeing children abused.
33:02
Like this is all happening around them. Mhm.
33:08
And Edith Eger said something that I think you'll appreciate so much.
33:12
She said, "I realized, and I had to realize, that I wasn't the prisoner, but the guards were the prisoners of their own conscience."
33:25
And she goes, "When I realized that I wasn't imprisoned, the people who were being imprisoned by their hatred, and imprisoned by their own pain, and imprisoned by their desire to dominate and control and to abuse people, that's the real prison.
33:39
And isn't that the real prison?
33:42
Like you hear someone say that going through the most atrocious, horrendous thing they could possibly go through, but that was her mindset.
33:48
She's still living, she survived.
33:50
And what a crazy thing to survive through. Right.
33:54
And to have that perspective.
33:54
And she was saying that it was that perspective, it's what you're saying, that in that moment she had to rewire how she saw what was going on, so that she could get through it. Yeah.
34:08
If she just accepted it for what it was, she said she would have lost that resolve.
34:10
That's one of those lessons only life can teach you, right?
34:13
She was she That's one of those lessons.
34:15
Like we go through these things and these experiences that there's no other way to uh I just hope that people realize when they go through things, it doesn't have to be such a traumatic experience, or such a detrimental thing, or such a you know uh immeasurable loss or anything.
34:34
It's you know the fact that you're able to survive through the day.
34:39
You know, there was somebody who got murdered around the corner from in the neighborhood I live in and I'm just like Oh, you're saying actually like right now? yesterday. Wow.
34:48
Yeah, like in the same neighborhood and nice neighborhood but my point is is that we take for granted how much of a blessing it is to be here right now and to wake up and be here. You know what I mean?
34:59
So you know, we we we learn these lessons and I I just hope that we can pay attention to the lessons that life teaches us.
35:07
You know, because you have to really make a mental you have to really acknowledge what you're experiencing.
35:15
Or else it just goes in one ear and out the other. Totally.
35:16
You have to learn the lesson, you know?
35:18
And even that story you told me, she learned that lesson while she was in that concentration camp in the Holocaust.
35:23
She learned that okay, you're actually the prisoner because you're trapped in your prison of your consciousness and you know, you wanting to dominate another person and trap another person.
35:34
That is already a prison.
35:37
You know, I'm in here I'm in a cage but I'm the one who's free-minded and free-thinking and you know, has faith that I'm going to get past this and told two totally different experiences, right?
35:49
So just embrace the experience that you're going through and realize it and you know, we got the we're leasing these bodies for a limited time only, right?
35:59
Like our experience here is very very limited so we got to we have to make something.
36:04
You know, we can't just sit around and watch other people live their lives.
36:07
We got to go out and figure out what that means for us.
36:11
You know, and how you do that is you do do the work on yourself.
36:13
You A lot of people may be watching this and may not know what they want to do.
36:16
They don't don't know what they're passionate about.
36:19
Maybe they just like being on the internet all day.
36:21
Maybe they just like watching movies and TV all day.
36:25
But you know, you can't figure out exactly what you're all the way passionate about until you actually try things. Try things out.
36:30
I had to try things myself cuz I didn't really know what I was passionate about besides music.
36:35
I had to go jump out of a plane.
36:37
I had to like try new things, start working out.
36:39
I had to, you know, do hikes and be like, "I really like hiking.
36:43
Like, I really like this."
36:43
You know what I'm saying?
36:46
You know, I think that's one of the things that one of the quickest escapes people can go to is like drugs, right?
36:51
It's like an instant escape and a way to get high.
36:54
But, man, there's so many other ways to get high, you know what I'm saying in life without without using that.
36:59
And I don't not even to sound like, you know, inspir- you know, corny or whatever whatever people may think that sounds, but it's like there are a lot of ways, you know, to that I've been high off of life that a drug could never give me.
37:13
You know what I'm saying?
37:13
Like, the type of high that is like God-given, that only the universe can provide, you know? so well said.
37:21
That's the best That's the best high. It's so well said.
37:23
And, you know, it's in the scriptures it's called the higher taste. Yeah.
37:28
Like, the idea that when you it's almost like when you look at a child, Mhm.
37:32
if you give a child a popsicle, the child will want that. Yeah.
37:38
And if you try and give a child a diamond or a million-dollar investment, they won't understand it.
37:44
And they'll be like, "I'd rather have this popsicle." Yeah.
37:48
But, then when that child gets older and matures, they go, "Oh, that investment or that thing could have been more valuable."
37:56
And so, what we see as a valuable experience changes as we mature.
38:00
And it's What you said about experiences is so true.
38:03
Uh Raddy and I recently We try and do something every month that we do that's random that we wouldn't expect to do.
38:10
So, recently we went to a rage room. Yeah.
38:14
And I had no desire What's that like?
38:17
So, a rage room, they give you baseball bats and lead pipes and stuff.
38:20
Oh, I heard about this and you smash stuff up.
38:23
And so we went to that, and me and Rod here are both not angry people.
38:25
Like we're not aggressive people in general.
38:30
But we were like, we have to go experiment, because if we don't experiment, how do you know, right?
38:32
You got to go check it out. So, Was it fun, man?
38:37
hilarious to watch us, because we were both like, you know, we were both like not violent people. And so we're struggling.
38:43
Then we realized something really interesting.
38:45
They told me afterwards, I wish they told me before.
38:48
They said if you go there, and you're stressed out because your boyfriend broke up with you, or someone's been rude to you, or you've been offended, then it will de-stress you. Mhm.
39:00
But if you go there when you're not stressed, the research shows that you leave stressed.
39:04
So that was me and my wife.
39:07
We We went there not stressed, and we left with stress.
39:09
It was actually stressful to cause rage when you don't feel any. Uh-huh.
39:14
And so, but so that was an experience that didn't go well, right?
39:17
Right, but you got to try it, though. okay. You got to try it.
39:20
And so, And you And the fact that you two were together, it probably just It's something that you'll always remember, right? Yes.
39:26
So in in hindsight, it probably was a pleasurable experience, like Exactly.
39:28
It's a funny story now that we get to tell and be like, we did this thing, it didn't work out.
39:31
But I think that's what you're saying, that we have to just experience more and experiment more, Mhm.
39:38
rather than turn to the obvious things that we've seen over society, like as you said, like drugs and alcohol, or any of these things that can become painful in the long run. Mhm.
39:49
As opposed to what you said, hey, whether it's going for a hike, or whether it's doing this thing, or that thing, or whatever it may be.
39:54
So I think that's That's just really simple, practical advice that anyone can follow.
39:59
Yeah, and you know, and I'm not judging anybody who does that, too, you know, because how how how do we have That's one thing I want people to remember, too.
40:08
Like we don't have the right to judge anybody going through anything.
40:11
And we sit up and judge each other all day on social media, or on in real life, too.
40:15
and you know, that's uh you know, I want to tie that back to uh another thing that I was talking about because everyone is going through something. You never know, right?
40:26
But that's not even a it's a it's a very conditional thing to try and keep up a uh image or a uh facade, right?
40:33
And you know, even like money is such a conditional thing.
40:41
Like, that's why when I say rich yeah, you could be rich in money, but it's conditional, right?
40:46
So, when that money goes, you're not even rich anymore.
40:49
It's like if you took all the money away from me or any or anyone around me or my family, we are at a point where we we were rich before we had money.
40:58
You know what I'm saying?
41:00
Because of the the the rich practices that we were taught, you know, which is, you know, to take care of your you know, to take care of yourself early on, which which is a lesson that I kind of put on the back burner and went through experience life, and life was hitting me and beating me up.
41:14
And I had to take a step back and reaffirm uh the things that I already knew, but really strengthen them up. You know what I mean?
41:22
And that that is that is being rich for real, you know?
41:25
Because money is conditional, and that's the energy we have assigned it.
41:29
It's the currency of our you know, our our uh I guess you could say just our countries, our our living the way we live, but really, you know, time is like the currency of our uh universe, you know?
41:43
And love is like the currency of all, you know?
41:46
Love is every Love is God, right?
41:49
So, I know I'm kind of rambling, but not at all. No, that resonates, man.
41:55
Yeah, I just want people to get that though, man, because it's like try not to judge.
41:59
You're just wasting your You're judging somebody else, you're really just wasting your time. Yeah.
42:04
You're really just giving somebody else your energy that's so valuable. Mhm.
42:08
You could be building so You You be building a mountain with that energy.
42:11
You could be building a mountain or a future or a career or something else and instead you're really worried about somebody else or tearing somebody else down.
42:22
And that just it just doesn't make sense.
42:24
It's so easy to do though.
42:24
It's so easy for a lot of people. you a quick boost.
42:28
It gives you a quick boost.
42:30
Makes you feel good in the moment. Yeah.
42:31
It does because I think it makes people feel good in the moment or you know who I can't speak for people but I think we can get obsessed with validation and like retweets or like a lot of likes or like getting a reaction or getting attention but you know, one of the things that I've realized is that people kind of put morals to the side.
42:50
You know, they will literally leak something of you is very private. It could be a nude. It could be a thing.
42:56
It could be something and they put all the morals aside and be like, "Oh, this is going to get a lot of attention.
43:00
So, I'm going to put it out.
43:02
I don't care what he's going He doesn't matter what he's going through."
43:03
Like, you know, but really and I'm not just speaking about me.
43:07
I'm talking about anyone like that person could be going through could be on the edge and that pushes him over the edge. You never know.
43:13
So, just always keep that in mind like That's huge.
43:16
Don't don't like it's okay to, you know, want a lot of retweets and want a lot of love and likes and stuff.
43:20
We all, you know, we all do that.
43:21
We we we're professionals.
43:23
So, yeah, when we touch and communicate with a lot of people and people show love, that's great but I just wanted to pri- I want to prioritize that, you know, at least I do and realize that my morals come first though. Yeah. You know what I mean?
43:36
And not And what you just said is making sure that whatever is not at the expense of someone else. You know what I mean?
43:44
So, you want to act in a way that doesn't cost anyone else anything. Exactly. Right?
43:48
That's exactly what I was trying to say.
43:50
Yeah, you don't want to make someone pay for what you behave as. Mhm. Right?
43:53
You never want that and because none of us want to be in that situation. No.
43:59
And I think that's what we we disconnect with and one of the things I had to learn is to learn to stop judging people who judge others. Yeah.
44:08
So, I had the judgement of people who judge and I'd be like, "Well, you should stop judging."
44:11
And I'm like, "Wait, but that is a judgement." That's a judgement.
44:14
Like, that's a judgement.
44:14
And so, it's like, "Okay, well, well, let me meet that person with compassion." And understanding. Yeah.
44:20
You under- I under- cuz we understand it. Cuz I do it. Yeah. And we can't judge.
44:24
We don't We only have to like, you know, at least I I can only speak for myself.
44:28
Like, I I I've learned to just stop judging people and realize we're all humans.
44:32
If we weren't here to learn something or if we were perfect, we wouldn't even be here.
44:36
We would already be on our next on the next wave of, you know, existence or whatever Yeah. comes next, you know? Absolutely.
44:43
What's what's been the most recent thing You were talking about learning life's lessons.
44:49
What do you think's been the most recent life lesson, big or small, that's come across your path that's kind of stayed with you or been on your mind?
44:58
I just wanted to because you know, we always talk about learning lessons through life and people think that they have to be these huge big ones, but sometimes it's just something everyday.
45:05
But, what's it been for you?
45:07
Has there been anything that's stood out? Yeah, to have fun. Nice. Yeah, I see.
45:11
To make everything you're doing fun. Period.
45:13
Because we're here for such a limited time and when we see somebody pass away that's close to us or someone we idolize, our heroes, our family members, our friends, whatever, just, you know, you got to realize that, "Okay, I do work, but I need to make this fun because that is the key to happiness, right?
45:34
And I feel like that is to me the only thing that really That's real success is when you're happy.
45:39
So, you got to have fun with whatever you're doing.
45:43
Like, you have to And if it's not fun, you got to make it fun.
45:45
Or, do something else, you know?
45:47
Even if it pays your bills or anything, like, you got to like if you just approach it like that, I'm telling you the whole Something that may be so depressing to you can completely change.
45:58
That job you may have been working on.
46:00
I've been doing this since I was 11 years old, by the way, making music, you know?
46:03
And obviously I want to do other things with my life, like how I mean you were saying, I want to write a book.
46:09
I can't wait for that, man.
46:10
Yeah, because, you know, I've learned so many lessons like from you or from Deepak.
46:14
You know, I get to sit with Sadhguru and my mom especially.
46:17
I used to get to sit with Jenay.
46:19
I get to sit with all these amazing I get to sit with Marie Diamond.
46:24
I get to sit with a lot of people who know so much.
46:28
And that I know that it's one of my life purposes to to put that information into you know, and all the experiences I've been through, all the testimonies I've seen, all the just magic that I've witnessed in my life.
46:39
You know, that's the reason I want to write a book.
46:41
I'm not doing it because oh, it's a cool thing for your career to do like write a book.
46:45
Like I feel like I have to write a book because it's like one of my missions for humanity.
46:51
I want to read that book, man.
46:51
I I I I think it's fascinating hearing about everyone's journey to how they started going inward. Yeah. Right?
46:59
Like that's what's fascinating. Right?
47:00
Like we always books are always written about the journey outwards. What did you succeed? What did you achieve? Where did you get to?
47:06
But to me, books that are about the journey inward, we need to tell those stories because those are the journeys we struggle to take even more.
47:14
Yeah, and those are the and those are the journeys that are a little bit more untold, right? Yes, and unseen.
47:19
Yeah, unseen that we need to relate to and especially my people who listen to me like I I feel like I really need to do that and but that is one thing I've learned though to just to go back to what you said is like to have fun with it. Mhm.
47:30
Make sure you have fun with it and make it fun.
47:32
Like bring whatever you think is fun to whatever you have to do.
47:37
Like if you think, well, I think that playing video games is fun.
47:40
Well, then bring that to work somehow.
47:43
Like figure out a way to like incorporate that or figure out a way to balance that into your life somehow.
47:48
Like you can't let go of the fun fun of anything cuz then there everything just gets depressing. Yeah.
47:54
You know, you get wiped out and you're not even doing a service to anyone at that point.
47:59
Yeah, and I think that's the interesting thing about It's a simple lesson though, right?
48:02
It's a But that's what I love about it because it doesn't have to be this deep profound lesson like Yeah, usually the simple ones are the are the are the good ones, yeah.
48:10
Yeah, like like for mine it's been prioritizing rest. Mhm.
48:15
Like I love prioritizing rest and refuel.
48:17
Like one of my favorite things to do like That I need That's a That's something I still have not mastered. rest, right? Like Deep rest.
48:23
deep rest, like letting yourself just have this deep silence, stillness, calmness, whatever gives that to you.
48:32
I find like being able to One of the things I really do enjoy doing and and I think it's fun and that's why fun is such a wide word Uh-huh.
48:40
is um doing like a sensory deprivation tank. Oh, yeah.
48:44
when I'm sitting in a sensory deprivation tank, all my senses are off. Yeah.
48:47
It's actually a beautiful experience.
48:49
For me that's deep rest and that is fun for me. Yeah.
48:54
Because I'm no longer like dealing with any of the challenges or stresses or pressures.
48:59
I'm able to just be Yeah, so inside the you're it's magnesium in water. Yeah, that's right.
49:05
float for anyone who's never done it before.
49:06
You can go in there for a half an hour, hour, two hours. It's pitch black. Yeah, it's dark.
49:11
Some of them if they're a bit bougie, they have the uh The lights.
49:15
the lights, the music, like a little bit of like yeah, moody lights, moody music. Uh-huh.
49:19
Uh but the idea is to just not let your senses be triggered. Mhm.
49:25
And I find that's what I crave is letting my senses no longer be overexposed or overstimulated.
49:33
One of my favorite things to do is look out into the distance. Mhm.
49:35
To watch sunsets, to watch the sunrise, to just look at the sky because I find it's the least overstimulating thing in our lives.
49:43
When you look at your phone, you're overstimulated.
49:44
You switch on the news, you're overexposed.
49:48
Everything's overwhelming.
49:51
You got to take that time for yourself. Correct.
49:52
I love to do anything that helps me understand myself, that helps me underwhelm myself, you know, that helps me Unwind.
49:59
Un- unwind, yeah, unwind myself.
50:02
That That's what I crave, and I've realized that that's my reward to myself.
50:08
It's not just a um luxury that that's necessary. It's a part of richness. It's a part of richness. It's a part of success. It is.
50:16
Um and I think that the mentality that I've experienced and that I've always had is like you have to like stay on it.
50:24
You have to stay on it like and almost to a point where I feel like I didn't deserve rest sometimes.
50:29
I didn't I just I didn't deserve it.
50:30
Like I'm not almost finished with my stuff. I got to keep going.
50:32
I can't you know, but that was totally the wrong That was me coming from a place of desperation and not a place of knowing and having faith.
50:45
Because you know, rest is one of the many joys of our life, man.
50:48
Going to sleep, having that good sleep.
50:50
Like those and you know, by the way, that's the moment a lot of times when we're in that deep sleep, those those are the moments that a lot of visions and a lot of inspiration and a lot of ideas are transmitted to us and you know, we're just a vessel.
51:05
So, you know, that we we sometimes we go to a higher place when we're sleeping and our at our most relaxed state, right?
51:10
So, I have been learning to get rest.
51:13
I go to sleep kind of weird times, but especially when I'm making music like I go to sleep at like 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning, which is It's music too. You know what I mean?
51:23
But it is nothing like getting some good rest, man. Nothing like it.
51:27
But what you just said deserve it.
51:30
And you And people deserve it.
51:32
People will think that they don't deserve rest or you know, they work two jobs and all these things like you deserve that rest, man.
51:37
And like longevity is better than anything.
51:39
You can burn yourself out and go double shifts, triple shifts, don't need sleep, only need two, three hours of sleep. All that. Get your rest, man. Get that rest.
51:49
Get as much rest as you need because when you fully rested, that's when you can really make real waves in whatever industry or whatever dream you have, whatever thing you got going on, you know?
52:01
Yeah, I was actually just about to say that.
52:02
I think that's the most powerful thing you said there. Mhm.
52:03
As you were sharing that, the idea that we don't give ourselves permission for things we don't deserve. Mhm.
52:10
So, we don't give ourselves the permission to rest if we don't feel we deserve rest. Mhm.
52:18
And a lot of us don't feel we deserve rest.
52:20
We don't feel we deserve fun.
52:23
We don't feel we deserve joy.
52:23
And so, we don't allow ourselves to have that feeling.
52:30
And as you were saying that, you used that word deserve, I was like, I just want everyone to stop.
52:34
Everyone who's listening right now to this episode or watching this episode, to just stop and think, what are you not feeling like you deserve?
52:43
Yeah, people feel like they might not deserve real love.
52:48
I'm a I don't deserve a partner.
52:51
I don't deserve the rest.
52:51
I don't deserve to go out and have fun.
52:52
I haven't been getting enough work done. Like, that's all crazy.
52:56
None of that stuff is connected to each other, man.
52:57
Like, take care Take care of yourself first and foremost and watch how more beautiful your life unfolds. Absolutely.
53:03
I want to ask you something though with on the flip side of that, Mhm.
53:08
you know, I've been thinking about recently this idea of how do you do things that are good for you even when you don't feel like it?
53:20
Because you don't always feel like doing things that are actually good for you. Right.
53:24
And so, we try and avoid them because of how we feel right now. Right.
53:30
How do you find yourself doing that with the gym, with meditation, with everything that you're saying, whether it's in the studio?
53:35
How have you been able to go and get over that initial feeling of I don't want to meditate today.
53:41
Or I don't want to sleep early today, or I don't want to work out today.
53:44
How do you work through that voice in your head?
53:46
When it comes to self-care, it's not this you can set a schedule, but there are times where you're going to have to wake up earlier.
53:55
You're going to have to get right to something, right?
53:56
You're going to have to maybe meditate later on in the day.
53:59
You may not even get a chance to, but that's the beauty of first of all, that's the beauty of the short meditations that me and you went over, like the 2-minute meditations, right?
54:06
It doesn't have to be 15 minutes where you know, cuz I like I take a thing I do things where I like write my goals down.
54:13
I do this, I write my intentions for the day, I met I write I meditate for 15, 20 minutes.
54:20
Then I sip my tea, you know, I take time like I take an hour to myself.
54:23
And a lot of times I don't always have that, right?
54:27
Sometimes I do it later in the day when I do have time.
54:30
And the days that I don't have time to do that, I'll be like, well, I'm at least going to do this. There's a bare minimum.
54:37
And if if it's a 2- or 3-minute meditation, or to be honest with you, there have been days where I was completely exhausted and did nothing.
54:50
And honestly I deserved those days, you know?
54:53
There are days where you turn your phone I had a day that like not too long ago where I put my phone in the drawer. I had to leave it.
55:03
I didn't pick it back up till like midnight.
55:05
And when I was about to go to sleep, and I didn't go to the studio that day, I didn't do anything.
55:09
I just needed time to myself.
55:12
You have to listen to yourself.
55:12
And when you listen to yourself, you have to ask, well, why don't I feel like doing this?
55:17
Why why who doesn't want to take care of themselves, right?
55:19
And maybe you just need some time to just be lazy, man. That's okay. Yeah. That is that is okay.
55:24
But it's the fact that you know better.
55:27
When you know better, you're already in headed in the right direction.
55:31
So, when you when you don't take care of yourself, right?
55:33
When you don't work out or you don't meditate, you're going to be like Ah, man, I don't feel I I I I feel like I should have kind of, you know, yeah, yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
55:42
and it'll eventually get you right back on track uh if you're a disciplined person, right? Yeah.
55:48
So, which I advise people to try and be disciplined with the things that give you joy. Mhm. You know?
55:52
Those two things don't always You don't feel like they go together, but that's beautiful.
55:58
but you got to remember having fun is a serious thing. You know what I mean? Yeah. It is.
56:04
You got to be serious about your fun.
56:07
That That is actually it. Yeah. We We got there.
56:09
That That was the idea of how you strike that balance. Yeah.
56:13
You got to be disciplined about your joy. Fun is a serious thing. For sure, man.
56:18
And I think that's what we lose.
56:18
We go, "No, fun just needs to be completely random." Mhm.
56:23
And then, you know, joy needs to be completely random. Yeah.
56:29
it's that concentrated, focused creation and development of that. Yeah.
56:36
That builds that in a life.
56:36
And at this point in your life, you know, we we talked about this last time.
56:39
We talked about your journey. Mhm.
56:40
We talked about where you got to, the reflection you had, the mountain you climbed and then looked around and was like, "Well, is this it?
56:48
Like this, you know, Yeah.
56:48
at this point in your life, what have your new dreams, heart space been like?
56:56
Like what's been going on in your heart and mind about who you want to be and what you want to do and and what you want to create?
57:05
Man, I've really just been like, "Okay, how can I impact the world at this point?"
57:09
Cuz I'm in a position, right? I have a platform.
57:13
I've done a lot of things I wanted to do um musically, right?
57:15
I've experienced like so many beautiful things and I remember all I wanted was a song on the radio, right?
57:22
But I didn't limit myself to that, right?
57:24
By just being so specific.
57:27
I always was like, "I want a song and whatever else I can get, you know, whatever else comes with that, and uh so lately I just been thinking, how can I impact the world?
57:38
How can I use my platform to change the world and look back and be like, wow, that was something that meant something.
57:43
That's something that my grandkids can look at and say, man, granddaddy really did that, you know, and uh make that impact to people or listeners or anyone that's tuned into my frequency, you know what I mean? How can I impact them?
57:56
How can I make the best use of this opportunity, this life I have, this body I have?
58:04
That's that's kind of where my motivation has been at.
58:05
So I put that into my music, I put that into okay, or getting my book together, I put that into you know, since these recovery restrictions are up, it's kind of like, how do I want to see people live?
58:15
What experience at Coachella this year.
58:19
Yeah, Coachella's coming up.
58:19
Yeah, like what experience do I want to give people? Yeah.
58:22
You know, and also to not take away from what makes me happy. Mhm.
58:25
And you know, that's being with the people I love. Mhm.
58:28
You know, just figuring out how we can change the world and aligning my people, my team with that, and you know, I'm looking forward to just living life.
58:37
I'm looking forward to starting a family at the right time, you know what I mean?
58:40
Yeah, and just got to time that.
58:43
Yeah, we've got to It's all on God's time, you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
58:48
Yeah, relationships are deep, boy. They are deep.
58:50
But the But that is uh That is to me like where I'm at in my life. Mhm. You know what I mean? I'm not really trying.
58:58
I'm not in the same place I was when I was a teenager, when I was in my 20s.
59:03
It's I'm in a whole different way of, okay, how can I impact the world? Yeah. You know what I mean?
59:07
Uh with with the opportunity that I've been given, with this platform I've been given. Yeah.
59:12
And that And that's such a brilliant acceptance because for so many people when they get up the first mountain it becomes about the second mountain. Mhm.
59:21
And then the third mountain.
59:21
And then the fourth mountain.
59:23
And they They keep climbing mountains. Yeah.
59:26
And it doesn't change how they feel.
59:28
And so for you to already have that realization and go the real mountain I want to climb is the impact and the service and the the joy and the happiness.
59:35
That's that's a beautiful thing.
59:37
And we were talking about this earlier offline but about relationships.
59:42
And you know, your relationships obviously with Janelle was something that you've been investing in.
59:44
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
59:46
Like it's been a it's been a commitment. It's been an investment.
59:49
Obviously we've spent time together and she's been an amazing guest on the show as well.
59:52
And I actually met her first before I met you.
59:56
Uh and She was the one who told me like you got to meet And she's incredible like you know, and when I found out you two were together, I was like this makes so much sense. Mhm.
1:00:04
But but walk me through whatever you feel comfortable with.
1:00:07
Walk me through some of the the journeys and and what it's meant to create a conscious partnership.
1:00:12
And what's the real work that goes behind that?
1:00:17
Because you know, we all have our baggage and our trauma and our issues from our past relationships, our parents, so many things. Mhm.
1:00:23
What what's gone into crafting and what you're trying to craft?
1:00:28
Wow, that's that's really deep too about Let's make sure we touch back on like traumas and Yeah.
1:00:33
Um things that we inherit from our parents, you know, because we inherit I'm I'm actually I'll do that.
1:00:40
We'll talk about that now and then I can go to that like One of the things I've had to do in my life is clear some of the blockages that I've had and you know, all in different ways, all through different people.
1:00:52
And that's something that I may want to get more detailed in with people too because people are going to say, well, how do I clear these blockages within me?
1:01:01
And there are many, many ways and many people that people's that I've met with that have been able to, you know, help me and you know, I used to have a worryment of money was one of them.
1:01:09
Um just like you can inherit your parents hair or you can inherit their eyes or you can inherit their, you know, I remember my dad used to be like, "Oh, I used to smile just like you did, you know?"
1:01:21
it's like you can inherit a smile.
1:01:22
You can also inherit someone's fears.
1:01:25
You can also inherit someone's beliefs that aren't in alignment with it, you know, your own and you feel very conflicted.
1:01:33
Uh you can inherit uh just a lot of you can inherit uh pain. You can inherit racism.
1:01:40
And you can be like, "Well, I'm not a racist person."
1:01:41
But I know I know someone who's like, "Bro, I'm I'm not a racist person."
1:01:44
But then they call every black person a kid.
1:01:49
You know, "This is good That's a good kid."
1:01:50
And I'm like, "You got to watch yourself a little bit, man.
1:01:54
That's like you know, just pay attention to that cuz you don't refer to people who are who look like you as a kid."
1:02:01
You know, you might refer to somebody who's a kid that's the same age almost the same age as you, you know, so it's like you inherit these things.
1:02:06
You may not even realize it, right?
1:02:08
And it's important to just do the work on yourself because to push the next It's like also breaking generational curses.
1:02:16
It's like I broke one of the blockages I had and now my family we are living we are getting more of our dreams out.
1:02:25
My mom is doing things that she never thought she would do.
1:02:27
My dad, my brother, you know, um we grew up in debt essentially and we I had to break that debt.
1:02:32
That was one of the blocks I had to break was uh the block of money of not be scared to have money, feel like there's a scarcity of money and it's not, you know, it's it's all just energy, right?
1:02:44
And you can have as much energy as as needed.
1:02:46
And uh to clear all these blocks, but um to get back to my point, it is so important to go through these blocks and these traumas because when you pass it on to not only just the next generation, you pass it on to the people around you, your friends, your family, you know, you are you are the company you keep.
1:03:05
And the more like-minded and better you are, the the better everyone around you is including your family, right?
1:03:12
And you guys can have the opportunity to do anything that is possible, anything you want, any any empire, any business, any ownership, things that you didn't even know was imaginable, but it all starts with you working on yourself, and that's the importance of you know, the traumas.
1:03:31
It's almost like, well, why would I want to correct, you know, if cancer runs in our family, breast cancer runs in our family, why would I want to correct that?
1:03:37
Well, you want to correct that so you don't pass it on. Mhm.
1:03:40
And, you know, the vibration of cancer is a low vibration, you know what I'm saying?
1:03:44
So, you know, uh it's important to take care of ourselves and get rid of that trauma, but, okay.
1:03:49
That was beautiful, but I'm so glad you went there. Yeah.
1:03:52
I'm so happy you went there, because that the idea of being aware of what we're inheriting Mhm.
1:03:56
is so important, especially when you went that we are aware of we inherit what we wear and how we think and how we look, but then how we behave, how we communicate, how we talk to people, how we think about people, how we think about women, how we think about men, how we think about Oh, that's a good one, how you think about women and men.
1:04:15
You know, that's another thing.
1:04:17
Or or them, how you think about trans, how you think about LGBTQ, like just like every just how we think about other. Mhm.
1:04:24
I'm so glad you went there.
1:04:26
I just wanted to say that.
1:04:26
I'm so happy you took us on that. Yeah.
1:04:27
I can just imagine like aliens or people from another world being like, man, these people really tripped that they're have different shades of skin.
1:04:37
They really be like It's just They really kill each other over this, like You know, I've never seen a cow look at another cow and be like You're a brown cow, you're a black and white cow, I don't want to be around you, like nah, they don't I just like, you know, and it makes me realize that like if we kill each other and hate each other over things like that or who we love, right?
1:04:58
Or things that even have nothing to do with us, then I wonder how we would handle a extraterrestrial or alien or really something that is really different, like you know, I always am like, maybe that's why the the government or whoever doesn't ever want to really break it to humanity because who how are we going to react, you know?
1:05:14
But that's a whole another conversation.
1:05:15
What I wanted to ask you something about relationships because you go through times where you don't see your wife all the time.
1:05:21
And how important is distance in a relationship, you know?
1:05:26
Because I know some people may feel guilty like not being with their partner all the time or maybe even enjoying time away, you know, that that could be a guilt thing like, "Oh man, I'm really having a good time by myself."
1:05:36
Or also spending too much time with your partner and losing a sense of who you are and your individual self.
1:05:43
So, I as you I I look at your relationship, you guys are are beautiful couple, you know what I mean?
1:05:51
And I'm not saying that and idolizing that or anything, but that's just me making a you know, recognizing that.
1:05:59
Yeah, it's my friend, yeah.
1:05:59
Yeah, how do um how do you balance the distance in your relationship and is that necessary?
1:06:06
Yeah, I think for us and and I agree with you, by the way.
1:06:09
Like I don't there is no such thing as a perfect couple, perfect marriage, perfect relationship.
1:06:15
So, we should remove that idealization just as just with everything.
1:06:19
Just as we were talking about earlier, I found that I'll take a bit of a detour, but I find that as humans, we like to idealize or we like to demonize. So, we demonize people.
1:06:32
We go, "You are terrible. You're wrong. You're the worst."
1:06:37
Or we go, "You're the best.
1:06:37
I love you and I adore you."
1:06:39
And sometimes the people we idealize become the same people we demonize when they let us down. All the time. All the time.
1:06:45
And so, we don't have this ability which what we talked about as monks was neutralized.
1:06:49
How do you just neutralize everything and look at it for what it is and look at it for the reality of it rather than idealize or demonize.
1:06:57
You just just learn to accept. So, Yeah.
1:06:59
when I look at my relationship, we found that when we first got married, I'd say in the first 2 years of our marriage, so my wife and I have been married for 6 years and next year we would have been together for 10 years.
1:07:11
So we've been together for 9 years now in total.
1:07:14
And the first 2 years of our marriage, I reckon we spent in total 6 to 8 months apart in 2 years.
1:07:23
And the reason for that was because my wife missed her family in London.
1:07:25
We'd moved to New York because of my career and I wanted her to be with her family to be happy, but I also wanted to be in New York so that I could build my career and build my purpose. Right.
1:07:39
And so that became a all valid. Which is all valid.
1:07:41
She wanted to be with her family which I respect and love and I wanted to be here.
1:07:45
And I said to her I said, I will fly back every weekend, every month if I have to, if that's what's going to keep this marriage together because I don't think you should give up what you care about and I'm not going to give up what I care about.
1:07:59
We both should not give up what we care about the most because we care about each other.
1:08:05
Can you Oh my gosh, see one of the things I'm not to cut you off but people always say oh you have to give things, you have to sacrifice so much, you have to let go of like No, you can't sacrifice yourself to the point where it's it's a it's torture.
1:08:22
You know, you can't sacrifice yourself to where you're not yourself anymore. That. You know what I mean?
1:08:26
And that's that's really important not to cut you off.
1:08:29
I just wanted to add that in there.
1:08:30
Dude, everything you just added I'm like that because that's the fine line.
1:08:32
You just gave the fine line of you can't compromise when compromise becomes torture. Mhm. Compromise is healthy.
1:08:43
Everyone has to compromise.
1:08:43
I may cancel a dinner or I may reschedule my weekend. Like that's compromise. That's every day. in tune with yourself. Yeah, exactly.
1:08:50
But you you just defined it perfectly.
1:08:52
Like you can't sacrifice cuz not lead if I gave up the pursuit of my purpose in New New I would have been sad, depressed, and tortured, using your words. Yeah.
1:09:05
And if my wife was kept away from her family, and couldn't travel back to see them, because I didn't want her to, because she had to be with me in New York, she would have been tortured and trapped.
1:09:18
I don't want that as my loving relationship. No, that's not a union.
1:09:21
Exactly, that's not a union.
1:09:23
And so, what we found is that we got used to it, but we've got better at it. Mhm.
1:09:28
So, at that time, we got used to it, but what happened is we would really disconnect, this was a mistake.
1:09:33
We would really disconnect, Mhm.
1:09:36
we would barely talk, barely check in, and then when we'd get back together, it almost felt like we were strangers again. Wow.
1:09:43
And so, that wasn't it wasn't good or bad, I just think we had to get better, like today it's changed.
1:09:47
And so, I just want to put that out there, that when we first got married and we did that, I don't think we had the healthiest version of distance.
1:09:55
And this is my point, that you can evolve and grow and learn.
1:09:58
And then it was COVID, right?
1:09:58
So, during the pandemic, we lived together for 2 years, and we saw each other every day, and that was amazing.
1:10:03
It was actually brilliant, because that was the first time in our lives that we'd spend every day together for 2 years, and it was beautiful. We we loved it.
1:10:13
And now, this year, I will have been away from my wife, when she finally gets back, uh but she's been working in London, I've been in LA, where where we currently both live, but she's been We will have been apart for around 4 months, and maybe we'll seen each other once in 4 months, hopefully.
1:10:29
And we're going on this mini vacation together.
1:10:33
I feel this time we've both found a healthier way of being distanced.
1:10:36
So, she's in London, because she's working, and that's her purpose.
1:10:41
I'm in LA, because that's where my purpose is. Mhm.
1:10:47
Again, I respect her purpose, and she respects mine.
1:10:50
I value her values, and she values mine.
1:10:54
And if I had to give up mine and be there for 4 months, or she had to give up hers and be here for 4 months, I wouldn't feel happy because I know she's not happy. Mhm.
1:11:05
And she wouldn't feel happy because she knows I'm not happy.
1:11:06
So, what we've realized is that in the times we're apart, we can both be more productive.
1:11:14
We get to catch up with our own friends and deepen those bonds and connection because we both have more time. Yeah.
1:11:20
I find that I miss her every day.
1:11:22
I have never texted my wife this much Of course. We were dating.
1:11:26
I haven't called her this much since we were dating because now it's like I wake up in the morning, the first person I call is her. Yeah. do that.
1:11:32
You You She's next to me, right? Right.
1:11:34
Uh the last thing at night, I know she's already asleep in London, but I'm messaging her messages so that when she wakes up in the morning, they're the first thing she sees. Yeah.
1:11:42
It adds a beautiful dynamic.
1:11:42
And there's something really beautiful in the Bhakti tradition, which is based on love and devotion uh to the universe, to the divine.
1:11:52
And it talks about how love in connection is beautiful, but love in separation is one of the most beautiful experiences.
1:12:01
To want to be back with your beloved and the person that you love, that's what all the songs are about.
1:12:07
Yeah, that's what all the songs are about. the music's about.
1:12:09
Like the the missing of someone, the yearning of someone, the the separation from a loved one Mhm.
1:12:15
is sometimes where you get to experience the deepest joy and even process some of your biggest fears and weaknesses. Mhm.
1:12:22
And that's what I find that when I'm away from my wife, I have to process my weaknesses and my fears head-on. Yeah.
1:12:31
And that I find to be joyful because it deepens my love for her. Mhm.
1:12:37
And so, I personally find that distance and personal time is critical.
1:12:45
And the way I define it for someone in a week because someone may say, "Well, Jay, we don't work like you guys where we're away from each other for months because we live in the same home, we don't have careers that take us across the world.
1:12:54
I believe and I've I've been planning this out that here's an ideal 7-day week, right? Yeah.
1:13:03
You should ideally spend one to two days by yourself with yourself.
1:13:06
Even if you're married, even if you're dating, have two nights a week that are for you. Mhm.
1:13:13
Even if you're in the same house. Same house.
1:13:15
Have two nights a week separate that is for you to listen to your inner voice. Mhm.
1:13:19
That's two nights a week.
1:13:20
Now have two nights that are together, just you two.
1:13:26
Date nights, experiments, events, whatever it is, but just you two so that you develop and you water your intimacy. That's four nights.
1:13:33
You've got three nights left.
1:13:34
In those other three nights, one night you spend with your own friends.
1:13:40
So she's with her friends, I'm with my friends. Mhm.
1:13:42
And then the other two nights we're with a collective group of friends, friends that we share. Mhm.
1:13:46
Now you can make your own ratio of your 7 days, but notice how the ideal 7 days include time alone, time with each other, time with your own friends and family, and time with collective friends and family. Yeah.
1:14:00
If we can't look at our lives and say we do all of those, it means we're not watering a really important part of our relationships.
1:14:07
If I don't water myself, I've got nothing to give. come up later.
1:14:11
And that's what you're going to feel is or is hurting you.
1:14:15
Yeah, what you're talking from is is from experience.
1:14:16
I can see like this isn't like a textbook formula.
1:14:18
This isn't some This is some experience that you guys have been through and that you made it through.
1:14:25
So I respect that and I realize that uh you know, the crazy thing about being in a relationship and having distance between you is it really can bring you closer to the one that you're missing, you know?
1:14:37
It kind of is almost I would say almost a a great test to see how close you really are, you know what I mean?
1:14:45
Because being like being so far from someone can bring you so much closer.
1:14:49
You can learn so much about someone you know, through texting them or through the phone as opposed to waking up next to them every day.
1:14:56
So, I think it's beautiful to give each other that time apart.
1:14:59
And that's when you really know that person is still all you want.
1:15:04
That that's that's who that's special for, you know?
1:15:10
I definitely been able to experience that.
1:15:11
So, that's that's a beautiful thing, you know?
1:15:13
And uh it's it's a key part in any relationship.
1:15:16
I think in any marriage the key to it is is having some distance between, you know what I mean? And uh Yeah.
1:15:24
And having someone who you energetically match with. Yes.
1:15:29
one thing that That's the most important thing.
1:15:31
That's the most important thing right there.
1:15:32
Because this is funny cuz I don't know how to even say this say this properly or I don't know whatever, but I'm going to just say it like when you have sex with someone who you feel are you guys are equally energetically on the same level, that's how it's really supposed to be, right?
1:15:50
Because in other in in other ways, I just hope people realize that because if not, if you're not with someone who you energetically feel like you're on the same level with, then that person could be taken away from you.
1:16:02
It could throw you off track. It could uninspire you.
1:16:07
It could do all these crazy things.
1:16:10
So, it's important to realize um the power of that energy that you have when you when you with somebody who can match your energy Definitely. sexually. No, absolutely.
1:16:20
And I I'm so glad you raised that because so the Sanskrit word for celibacy is brahmacharya.
1:16:28
Now, celibacy in the Western world feels sounds like abstaining from sex.
1:16:32
That's what you think of the word celibacy.
1:16:36
Brahmacharya, it translates as the proper use or direction of energy.
1:16:42
When you talk about a poor energy exchange, when you're just wasting energy, when there isn't an equal energetic exchange, Right.
1:16:50
that's why we feel drained, we feel depleted, we feel Or afterwards you're like, "Oh, this is a waste of my time."
1:16:56
Or like, "Oh, any however you feel."
1:16:58
Like years later it takes.
1:16:58
And but when you have someone of equal energy exchange, that impression is so much more powerful and deeper.
1:17:06
And so I'm I'm I'm glad you brought that up because I guess the question though is like, obviously when you meet someone, there we're all at different stages even in our vibrational energy. Right.
1:17:18
How do you know because today we live in a world where anyone can use the language, everyone can say the word energy, Right, right, right.
1:17:25
everyone can use the word vibration, Uh-huh, right.
1:17:28
everyone can use all the lingo and you think, "Oh, yeah, yeah, this person like they've been reading about chakras and da da da da da." Right? Mhm.
1:17:37
How how do you actually know that someone is of a similar energy in a relationship?
1:17:41
Like how how do you how do you look for that?
1:17:44
Because and I don't think there's a formula or there's a perfect science.
1:17:47
I'm just saying how do you look for that or how have you found that and looked for that? There's only one way. Feeling it. It's simple as that.
1:17:53
You can it's something you feel.
1:17:55
And you have to really be in tune with yourself, right?
1:17:59
That's another reason why working on yourself is so important because the more you in tune with yourself, the more you're able to feel like this isn't right, right?
1:18:05
And it could make sense in a lot of other ways.
1:18:07
You could be like, "Oh, this person is my ideal of like the perfect person in my head, you know, like physically."
1:18:12
But it just doesn't Well, I don't care like you disregard those feelings when you put that egotistical spin on things, right?
1:18:20
Or you put the like the image or like the expectations or things, check marks you think you should be hitting, but it's really just a feeling process.
1:18:29
And when you realize when you know, when you have the feeling of that feeling like you're just being productive, you know?
1:18:37
Like I'm not ever ever going to like physically be involved with anyone if if it's not productive, you know?
1:18:42
And I and I feel like I'm being productive, you know what I mean?
1:18:49
And that's how you should feel with your partner.
1:18:50
Like you feel like you're being productive, you know?
1:18:51
And you feel you have a good feeling about it. Yeah. Yeah.
1:18:55
Anything else is just kind of like, you know, you think that you may fun. Yeah. And fun. And it's fun. Yeah.
1:19:05
You know, if it's not fun, productive, and all these things, and you know, if you feel weird or feel like you're wasting your time afterwards, then then that's probably not right for you, you know?
1:19:13
And you can eventually kid yourself for a little while, but eventually you're going to move on or something's going to happen, and you know.
1:19:22
Yeah, I think one of the things I look for in energy exchange in in every level is the idea of you know, it's almost like how long have your energies been invested together deeply. Mhm.
1:19:33
When my career started to take off, I would often point to an achievement and look at my wife and say, "Love me for this. Right. what I did." Right.
1:19:43
And then I'd win another award, and be like, "Look at this. Like love me for this."
1:19:49
And she wouldn't feel anything.
1:19:49
She wouldn't She wouldn't respect me for like she wouldn't care about that.
1:19:54
Not that she wouldn't respect me.
1:19:55
She wouldn't care about that. care about that.
1:19:57
And She would be happy for you.
1:20:00
happy for me, but she didn't care about that.
1:20:01
She didn't love me for that, but I was saying, "Validate me for this. Love me for this."
1:20:05
And then I realized that I was trying to get her to love me for what my achievements are, when she loved me for who I am. Isn't that beautiful?
1:20:17
was the most deepest reminder to me that my wife's been with me since when I was in $25,000 worth of debt, when we were 4 months away from being broke, when I was pursuing my purpose and no one cared, and I'd five people turn up to hear me speak.
1:20:31
And my wife's been through all of that, and she loved me then, and she loves me now, but she's never been enamored by the achievements or the successes.
1:20:42
She is always exchanged energy with me on the level of she loves who I am.
1:20:47
So, she had to love me that way to remind myself to love myself that way.
1:20:52
And I think that's what I look at as energy exchange is does someone remind me to love myself through how they love me?
1:21:03
Like, does the way they love me remind me to love myself for the real reasons?
1:21:08
And that, you know, that is just undefeatable.
1:21:10
Like, that you can't beat.
1:21:12
That's the champion of love.
1:21:14
Because you're like, you're teaching me how to love myself based on what I actually should love myself for.
1:21:20
Man, that's again talking from experience. I see.
1:21:22
Yeah, it's Yeah, it's it's it's real.
1:21:24
Like, I've I've been that man that has wanted the validation of my wife for my medals and my honors.
1:21:30
And when she didn't give it to me, I felt frustrated.
1:21:33
Because I felt, well, I can get more attention from somewhere else for these things.
1:21:39
But then you go, but then do I want attention, or do I want affection?
1:21:42
Like, do I want validation, or do I want someone to value me?
1:21:48
Cuz validation is conditional. It's conditional, man. And come and go quick. So, like, wears off.
1:21:51
It's like a it's like a new sweater or something, right?
1:21:56
Like, you have to eventually wash it, and it just starts to deteriorate.
1:21:59
And as opposed to loving someone for who they are, that's that's more like unbreakable, right? That's like that. Undefeated. Yeah.
1:22:07
Shawn, what have I not asked you today?
1:22:10
What's been on your mind, your heart? Where have we not gone?
1:22:13
Because I feel like I know it's hard to say this, but I really do believe this.
1:22:18
Because the last time we were getting to know each other, where we've gone today, We've gone to some places.
1:22:24
have gone to some places today.
1:22:24
Like, as in this is without a doubt, even though it's hard to say this, it's even better than the first conversation because of our openness, because we have a relationship, a deeper relationship today.
1:22:35
And so, what the way the places we've gone to and the things you've said today, I'm going to have to listen back to this one.
1:22:41
Keep doing what you're doing, man.
1:22:42
Like, the job you're doing is uh fantastic.
1:22:45
Like, I tune into so many of your interviews. I loved your book.
1:22:49
Um I can't wait to have you write the forward on my book.
1:22:54
You know what I'm saying?
1:22:56
And just to everyone listening, man, you know, I know you're going through whatever you're going through, just do the best you can. Stay strong.
1:23:05
Um don't give up on yourself.
1:23:06
You know, that's me There's no losing, you know, you can you can maybe think you're losing, but you only lose when you stop, you know what I mean?
1:23:15
There's no no such thing as as losing if you don't stop.
1:23:17
It's only just learning and like developing and and getting that experience and wiser.
1:23:24
You know, you're just sharpening a sword, being more of a master.
1:23:25
So, you know, stay strong and everyone, I know some people uh don't know where they're going to even sleep tonight.
1:23:33
Some people are going through a real a real crisis in their life.
1:23:36
And just know that I'm not just saying this to be politically correct or anything like I really am sending you guys love.
1:23:46
I really am sending you guys like some light and uh you know, that miracles can happen in your life and you accept that, you know, accept plea like accept your miracle.
1:23:57
Cuz they happen every every day.
1:23:57
And um yeah, thank you, you know, it's uh I don't know what else is new music. That is beautiful.
1:24:04
Yeah, new stuff coming out and yeah, I don't know what else to say.
1:24:08
Yeah, I mean, everyone, make sure you go and subscribe across all of Big Sean's platforms, whether it's YouTube, whether it's Instagram, it's Facebook, Spotify, Apple, wherever you're listening.
1:24:20
Look out for him at Coachella this year.
1:24:22
New music is dropping right now.
1:24:22
Is music dropping around the birthday as well?
1:24:26
I don't know around the birthday, but probably more so around Coachella. Okay, around Coachella. Okay.
1:24:29
I don't think I got some new music.
1:24:31
I'm trying to see if I'm going to like preview it there or put it out right before. Got it. Got it. You know, figure it out. We're figuring it out.
1:24:36
Me and Jhené have new music coming too together.
1:24:38
So, our our 2088 project. Yes.
1:24:40
We can talk about that more deeply if you want to go into it.
1:24:44
Or you you want to give him a little preview?
1:24:46
That's you know, maybe me and her could come and do a special one together. that. That would be sick. Yeah. Or maybe all four of us. That would be great. We'd love that. Let's do that. That'd be so dope.
1:24:53
That's another time, but cuz I don't want to speak for her. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
1:24:57
You know, that's our that's our thing together, but I can just let people know that it's coming. And what else?
1:25:02
I mean, you know, just keep doing it.
1:25:04
And thank thanks for all the love on the last one.
1:25:06
I got to say thank you for the love on the the last podcast we did.
1:25:10
It was crazy and man, congrats to you men mental health on the men's men's health magazine.
1:25:14
Is it Is men's health, right? Yeah, it's men's health. Yeah. Men's health magazine. That's major, bro.
1:25:22
Bro, bro, it's just amazing.
1:25:24
Doing it with you is amazing.
1:25:24
Like I think, you know, you you said that what we're doing is amazing here, but this is energizing. Yeah.
1:25:30
Like this is energy exchange at its highest level because you you you keep me going too, man.
1:25:34
Like having this relationship with you and having these conversations with you, that energizes me.
1:25:39
It affirms my belief in what I'm trying to do. Yeah.
1:25:43
And so Yeah, I see like billboards of you everywhere and stuff like calm app.
1:25:47
I'm like, yo, J is going crazy right now.
1:25:49
Will Smith and man, that was what a what a crazy moment that had to be.
1:25:54
That was working with him has been one of the greatest Isn't he great?
1:25:57
greatest joys in my life.
1:25:58
He's one of the most special human beings as are you in in the world and just He's anointed.
1:26:04
He's like has a glow on him, right? And he really does. Yeah, shout out Will. And it's real. And it's real.
1:26:09
Like he's, you know, him and the whole family just amazing.
1:26:12
But you can tell he's like human. Yeah. You know what I mean?
1:26:14
And yeah, keep up keep up the great work, man. I'll see you next time. Thank you, man.
1:26:17
Everyone who's been watching at home, what I want you to do, like you did last time, is show up on Twitter and Instagram, tag us on what resonated with you, what connected with you.
1:26:28
There were so many incredible nuggets of wisdom today that Shawn dropped and we went back and forth and we grappled with and then you saw our thought pattern and we finally got there.
1:26:40
Like there was like this whole journey that we went on today and we hope that this conversation inspires conversations back at home.
1:26:45
When I started making content, my whole goal was I wanted to create stuff that you could send to your friend and say, "This is what we were talking about last night." Yeah, yeah.
1:26:55
"This is what we're thinking about."
1:26:56
And I wanted to create something for you that helped you have deeper, more meaningful conversations with your friends that you might not always get to have.
1:27:03
So, I hope that this starts millions of conversations around the world that deepen your bond with your friends, your loved ones, that allow you to have more compassion and love for each other and the world.
1:27:14
And ultimately, as Shawn's been saying the whole time today, allow ourselves to not judge, to to really understand that everyone's going through something. So, Yeah.
1:27:24
thank you for listening to On Purpose. Yeah.
1:27:26
Thank you to our main man, Big Sean, for turning up today, new music, Coachella, Yeah.
1:27:29
uh so much more and there will be a part three. So, thank you, everyone. Amazing. Thank you, man. That was dope, bro. Yeah.
1:27:36
If you want even more videos just like this one, make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here.
1:27:42
I'm also excited to let you know that you can now get my book Think Like a Monk from thinklikeamonkbook. com.
1:27:52
Check below in the description to make sure you order today.