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I walked in and I had a hard drive filled with all of my music.
I walked in and I had a hard drive filled with all of my music.
He like took it, he listened to it, he threw my hard drive out the window, broken into a million pieces, not good enough, start again.
Musician, producer, the body of work that this guy has produced or written.
Your list goes on and on and on. Benny Blanco.
If you want to try to be like a musician, an entrepreneur, it's scary.
If you're going to fail, who cares?
The second I fail, I'm like the next day I wake up, I'm like, all right, let's do it again.
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The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty.
The one and the only Jay Shetty.
What's your earliest childhood memory of being creative?
Like do you remember the first thing you put together?
You just telling me you even had this shirt made that you're wearing today.
Like what was one of the first things you remember saying, oh wow, I did something as a kid.
Okay, here's what I really remember.
So, I you know, I didn't have the luxury of having like insane musical instruments at my fingertips and recording studios and I I was from a I was from the middle of nowhere.
So, I my brother had a boombox, an old school boombox, and I had a smaller old school boombox.
And I said I was I remember my earliest memories at probably I'm probably like five or six.
And I remember realizing that music you know, when I first heard music, I always thought that that like the the musician was at the radio station singing the song and I was like, how do they keep coming back to the station?
I didn't even understand how music was created.
But somewhere very early, I figured out that it was like a multi-track situation.
And I would take I had a boombox and I would record like me like hitting like this into the boombox, okay?
Then I would press play on that one and then I would do the next thing on the other boombox and record into that one and I would keep going back and forth until I created like a track I'm I guess I was creating like my own like eight-track and multi-track of of layering things and I didn't even know what it was, but I was just so excited that I was doing it and my whole career has been a version of that. Like I have no training.
I'm not good at anything.
I'm I'm I'm really like I like I like I know people are like, oh, you're being humble.
I I'm really not great at anything.
I have like a ultimate will to get things done.
Like I'm like, this will happen.
Um but no, it's just I'm always trial and error and I always tell people people always just like, well, how did you do this?
How did you And I'm like, honestly, like just going in and I I I I call it making a mess.
I like to go in and throw a bunch of [ __ ] around the room.
Throw paint at everything.
And then we worry about cleaning it up later, but maybe a few of those things just happen to land correctly and I just keep doing that until everything fully lands where I want it to and I'm just playing clean up around the sides.
That's a beautiful way of describing the process, but what gave you that?
Where does that will or that confidence come from?
Because I think a lot of people are scared of creating a mess or scared of things not sticking so they never try.
Whereas it sounds like you're the opposite where you're like, well, I don't care if it doesn't try.
I'm willing to give it a go.
Where does that inner confidence, that inner ability to say, "Hey, it's okay." come from?
I don't care about failure at all.
I don't care and I never did.
I think when I was younger, I didn't understand what failure was.
Like when you're, you know, when you're six, when you're seven, when you're 12, you don't There's not many people to let down. You know what I mean?
You let down Timmy at school, he's your friend. Sorry, Timmy.
But but you you're not thinking about that.
And I always I just remember from the beginning like my mom was like, I wanted to drop out of school.
And you know, my mom was raising me alone and it was I was probably 15, 16 at the time and I was like, "Mom, I know what I want to do."
She was like, "What do you want to do?"
And I'm like, "The music stuff.
Like I'm so into it and I know and I look her in the eye and I go, "I know I'm going to be the biggest in the world."
And she was just like, "What do you say?"
You know, and I've asked her I've asked my mom like later in life like, "How did you like trust me in my journey?"
And she always said that she had dreams that she never got to try in her life.
And a lot of people are just way too scared to take the jump.
You know, a lot of people may have I'm sure everyone in this room, anyone listening has a little something where they're like, "Oh, I really like that." But they're scared. They're scared.
They're like, "You know, I would You know, I want to post videos of me cooking."
I'm like, "Nah, nah, nah, nah, no one will like it.
My friends will make fun of me.
I want to I sing in the shower."
Like I want No, no, no, no, no.
Because we're taught to just follow suit and do whatever you're supposed to do. You report to your boss.
But but it doesn't have to be like that.
Like if you want to try to be like a musician, an entrepreneur, whatever, it's scary.
And like I'm sure you've had moments like that where you're like, "Yo, what am I doing?" Mhm.
But, if you do try, I believe that if you keep pushing yourself and you keep trying, you're going to succeed.
And I always tell people this, it may not be in what you start with, you know?
Like, when I started, I thought I was going to be the biggest rap artist in the world. And am I a rapper now? No.
And then I moved into producing, and then I moved into songwriting, and then it's come full circle now where I'm like an artist of some sorts again.
And I think you just jump in and just try something. Just try, and who cares?
If you're going to fail, who cares if you fail?
I don't understand This is the thing I don't understand.
It's just You just get up and you do it again.
I like I have amnesia the second I feel the second I feel I'm like the next day I wake up, I'm like, "All right, let's do it again." You know?
That's an amazing mindset.
So, we we share something in common already.
We both grew up wanting to be famous rappers. Yeah. Did you? Yeah. No.
like my passion, like poetry, spoken word, writing lyrics.
Like, all I listened to was hip-hop and rap growing up.
If you asked me at 16 years old what I wanted to be, that's what I wanted to be.
And it's so interesting because today I feel I use the same skills that I wanted to use then, but in a completely different way. I still write.
I write books instead of records.
I teach meditation, which includes music, includes cadence, it includes rhyme often, but not in the way that a rapper would.
And I'm using spoken word constantly to get messages out into the world, but in a different way.
And so, I love what you just said about that idea of how you actually may succeed, but in a way completely different to what you originally dreamed of.
I hope it goes full circle for you.
I want to hear I need to hear the Jay Shetty rap tape. What was your rap name?
Oh god, I don't know if I need to go that far.
It was embarrassing, but I'll I'll tell you later.
Okay, tell me you privately, yeah. I'll tell you privately.
Is Jay Shetty your real name? Yes.
It's such a That's the perfect rapper. Is it?
Yeah, Jay Shetty sounds like a fire rapper.
Yeah, from like East London.
I'm from North London, so not far. All right. Yeah, not far. Okay, cool. I like it. I like it.
But no, I I I really appreciate what you're saying there and I think that amnesia to failure, wow, like that that I love that idea of having amnesia with failure.
Can you give me a time Was that always the case or was there a failure that like did kind of pierce that veil?
It never has, I can see from your face.
No, I remember when I was going to quit music one time before I made Right before I made it, my my mentor passed away.
He He He took his own life and I was really young.
It was one of my best friends and I'm probably like 18.
And I remember like sitting in my bed and I was just like I was like crying.
I like didn't understand, you know, it was one of the first times that somebody who wasn't supposed to die died.
You know, I've had like, you know, I've lost my grandmother and lost my grandfather, but it was like the first time in my life where like someone that like I really knew and really touched me and I talked to them the day before they died and it's like I I remember like that hitting me like so hard in a way that I didn't know was even possible.
Like, you know, I'd been sad.
I had But I I remember sitting there in bed and I was just like, I'm just going to quit.
I was like, I got to quit making music.
And then in that very same moment, like my head flipped and I was just like, no, you can't.
You got to like take on what this dude started cuz he didn't He was also a musician and he didn't get totally He was, you know, he was well known and he was a hero to me, but he didn't get where I think he deserved to and I remember being like, I got to do this. Like, I got it.
Like, he would want me to be doing this.
He would And that was like the only time where it wasn't even failure.
It was like the only time where I like really questioned things.
And but don't get me wrong.
Every time I do something good in life, I'm questioning.
It's not it but it's like a different feeling.
I don't know if you have this, but I'll have a number one song, like a number one song.
It's the biggest song in the whole world.
And I I'll like look in the mirror and I'll be like, "Oh, that's the last one."
Like, definitely not going to have another one song again.
Not saying I'm like scared of the failure.
I'm just like, "Oh, that's just like the last one. That's what I did."
Or all something really good will happen in my life and I'm like, "Oh, I I'll never recreate that again."
And but in the same breath, I'm like, "Let's go."
Like, I'm like, "Let's keep rolling, you know?"
And and I've I've tried to do this thing lately uh in the last like 5 or 10 years where I really like take in my achievements cuz for a while, I never thought of them. I would just keep going.
Like, when it was time they'd be like, "Oh, your song's number one."
I'd be like, "Okay, that's cool.
What are we doing next week?"
And I figured out like it's okay to do that.
It's okay to like take a breath and be like, "Yo, we just did this [ __ ] Like, this is tight. Like, we did this. This is great."
And and yeah, I just I I'm trying to do that more and failure like, no, I've never had one of those times because whenever I do fail, I'll sit and I'll obviously like I'll sit there and I'll be like, "This didn't work."
How how how I wanted it to.
But so many times have been the opposite where I was like, "This will never work." And then it's big.
So, it's like I feel like it always evens out.
And you only have one other choice.
It's like the only choice is just to keep going.
What are you supposed to do?
Just be like, "Oh, didn't work. [ __ ] this shit."
No, get up and you do it again.
Yeah, I've got so many questions.
I want to dive into so much that you said.
So, rewinding with your mentor, how did you first and and I'm so sorry to hear.
Thank you for sharing with us.
You know, such a challenging event and I lost my mentor 4 years ago.
He passed away from stage 4 brain cancer during the pandemic.
So, I couldn't go back to see him because I couldn't take a flight.
And so, I couldn't couldn't be at his funeral.
So, you know, that yeah, it was super rough for me. It was more recent.
But, how did you meet your mentor and how did you form a bond?
I think a lot of successful people have mentors. They have guides. They have teachers. They have coaches.
But, then sometimes when you're listening to a conversation you're like this, you're like, I want someone to be my mentor, but I don't know where to start.
I don't know how to find them.
Like, what does that mean?
Like, how did you connect?
I had I've had so many mentors.
I have mentors every day.
I'm a mentor to people, but sometimes my mentees are my mentor.
Like, I'm always You always got to be open to just listening and learning.
Every day I learn something.
I was in the studio yesterday with a guy who's one of my mentees.
Like, the way I met I got to tell you that story later.
That's That's That's insane. I'll I'll go to that. I'll tell that after.
First one is I met my mentor.
I was This is when he was like my second or third mentor.
I I met a lot of my real really important mentors in my life when I was about 13. Um I was a musician.
I was traveling for music at the time.
I had gotten like some buzz and MySpace was a thing.
Yeah, I remember MySpace.
And I had somehow created a profile where I had a bunch of followers, okay?
So, I don't even remember how I did it, but I was a kid.
I used to do it in the library at school and there was this guy, he was a producer. I was obsessed with him. I DM well, messaged him.
The the the equivalent of DM today.
I remember messaging him and I was like, I love your stuff. And then, no response.
I I like, "Oh, I love you.
Like, please, blah blah blah." No response.
Then I saw like a few weeks later he was advertising.
He was like, "I have studio time available.
It's like, you know, $500 or something."
And I remember just being like, "Okay, the only way I'm going to meet this guy is if I get the studio time."
So, I say, "I'm interested in the studio time." He says, "Great.
Come to New York and meet me here."
He had no idea where I was.
I drove to New York and I drove We drove like 4 hours to New York. I get to New York. I get in with him.
The first thing I say is I'm like, "I don't really need studio time.
I just want to talk to you.
Please, I'll do anything.
I just want to work with you.
I'll do whatever you say."
But then he was just like, This was insane.
He said, "I'm leaving this weekend.
I need my studio booked the whole weekend.
It's $850 for the for the 2 days. You need to book it.
If you can book it, I'll let you work for me." Wow.
I called every single person I know.
I spent every, you know, I had like a few hundred bucks.
Then like I would like beg my friends for money.
I had to like a few knew a few rappers at the time that wanted studio time.
And I like figured it out.
And he was just like, he got back.
I did it like I just did it in the nick of time.
And he was just like, "All right, you can work. You start next week."
And I would I would drive up every weekend from Virginia to work with him when I from when I was like 16, 17.
And we created this bond.
And it was like he was tough on me.
He was like He was like not an easy guy.
Like I remember like I I walked in and I had a hard drive filled with all of my music, okay?
Everything I had been making.
And he like took it, he listened to it, ejected it, and then he threw it out the window.
He threw my hard drive out the window.
Broke into a million pieces. No more hard drive.
And he was like, "Not good enough. Start again."
And it was like, yeah, he was like super sensei. It was like Karate Kid.
And I like hated him in the moments for it, but so many he taught me so many things that like I learned and taught me things not to do as a mentor.
And like and you know, I it was it was a really special time.
And now I just want to jump to this Okay. Yeah, please. Yeah, go on. I love it. Let it flow.
So, I'm you know, this is I don't know, almost 10 years ago now, maybe 8 years ago.
And I'm playing poker at a friend's house.
And my my friend puts me on her story, uh her Instagram story.
And the next day she comes to me and she said, "Hey, my friend's son saw you on my story and apparently you're like a big deal in music."
And she was just like, "You have to have him come work for you." I was like, "What?"
She's like, "Yeah, you have to have him come work for you."
I was like, "I don't I don't need anyone else.
I already have assistants and interns."
And they were like, "No, you have to."
And this lady is like a very There isn't really You don't get to have a choice.
So, I was like, "All right, I'll meet him." So, this kid comes in. He's 15 years old.
He's like whoa like everything like he's just so excited.
And he like was so sweet and he reminded of me of me when I was a kid.
He was like, "I'll do anything. I'll work for you." blah blah blah.
I was like, "All right, come work for me."
He comes and works for me.
I still like I'm spending a lot of time in New York at the time. And so I don't see him.
He's just like building a studio for me and has never even met me besides that one day.
But he like he does it for like a year.
Then like I finally come back to LA.
And I I'm like, "All right, you ready to come into some recording studios?"
And he was like He was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm so excited."
So, like you know, first week, first three sessions.
It's It's first session is the weekend.
His second session is Travis Scott, and like his third session was like Maroon 5.
So, it's like he's getting thrown into it.
So, I remember we're at the first session, and I'm just like, be cool, blah blah blah.
It's uh it's the weekend, and the Weeknd's in there, and we're like all in a room, and we're just like singing into microphones, like we're chilling, and he's like I I know his mind's blown.
The Weeknd's his favorite artist at the time.
And I remember he when no one's looking, he like sneaks a picture, and he accidentally has his flash on.
So, it goes and it had the noise, too.
And so, it was like kachish.
And when it did it, he went ah, and he threw his phone.
And and somehow the Weeknd didn't notice, and like I pulled him aside after, and I'm like, "Dude, you can't do that." Blah blah.
Fast forward, he's in high school, and I say, "Hey, I'm in the middle of I was in the middle of making Ed Sheeran's Divide album, and I was producing the whole thing, and I was like, I need some help on the road.
If I talk to your school and get you off, will you come?"
And he was like, "Yeah, of course."
Took him on the road for like 2 weeks. It Mind was blown.
Uh then, you know, he starts going to NYU School of Clive Davis School of Music, and he uh I have another opportunity. I talk to his teachers.
I take him on the road for like a month.
We're on tour with Halsey.
Then, he's coming back to work for me now, okay?
We've never talked about him making music at all.
And we're sitting there one day.
It's late at night, and he said, "My therapist said he's going to stop working with me if I don't play you my music."
I said, "What do you mean, you make music?"
And he's like, "Yeah, yeah, I make music."
I was like, "Why didn't you ever play it for me?"
He's like, "I was so scared.
I was trying to get better." Blah blah blah. He plays me some songs. They're terrible.
They're like they're awful.
But, like I can hear something in him.
And I know he's so, you know, in music so much of it is like getting an artist to feel comfortable, getting them to believe, getting them to, you know, so much of it is your personality. And he had that. He had the it factor.
I saw when he was with like artists, he knew how to talk to them.
He knew how to make them feel good.
Just like getting them food, everything.
And you know, he spent years just seeing how I did it with artists.
And I decided to sign him.
I was like, I'm going to sign you.
And he went on this journey.
And now he's one of the biggest music producers in the world.
I mean, last year he won, you know, best record at the Grammys.
He's had like five or 10 number one records.
And it's like this guy started he was so humble he was 15 years old.
Now he's like probably 26, 27.
And he did he just went on the journey.
He knew when his time was and he went in and he did it.
And it was just like I always tell people, you know, you just got to stick through it.
You got to stick around, you know.
And when I first signed him it wasn't working for him.
It took him like a few years for it really to like connect.
And he's just like so it's such a fun story for me.
Yeah, to you know, and I've been fortunate enough to have that a few different times in my life with people.
And it was so cool because I had that experience.
And we're all to pay it forward is just Yeah, the intern applications to the Benny Blanco School of Music just went through the roof like Benny Blanco is going to get hit up this whole weekend, dude. I love that.
No, it's it's uh it's it's beautiful to hear that.
And and also what I love about that message is when your mentor throws your hard drive outside the window like it's so easy to be like, I'm never going back. Yeah, yeah. Like he's crazy.
Like I'm never going back. It's like whiplash. Oh, yeah. Right?
Like it's That was my life.
That was my I was a cleaning toilets with a toothbrush.
Like that was my real life.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking of when you were describing it.
I felt exactly like that.
I'm thinking You know, it's how do you show up again and recognize there's value?
Because I think now we're in a place as well where it's like if something like that happened we'd be like, "Oh, no, get out of there."
It's you know, so I know.
It did change a little bit.
Like But you wouldn't do that. That's what I mean.
You wouldn't throw someone's hard drive.
No, I would never do those type of things.
I'm not I'm just like not that type of person.
I'm not like a yelling person.
I'm not like a It's just like not That's not my way of communication.
Like if I was like sad about something I'd be like, "Man."
I think it's like probably almost worse.
Like I'm like I'd be like "Why did you do that?"
You know what I I go quiet.
Yeah, or I'd be like, you know You know, if you're ever like in a you know, in an argument in a relationship like I'm not a yeller.
I'm like a I'm like a man, like I wish it was different.
Like and I like can't even find the words usually at the beginning.
Um And I think that's how I am.
And I think like I really learned that you don't have to do that stuff.
You you It worked for me.
It got me to where I am, but it's like You can You can be really positive.
You can You can be a good influence on someone.
You don't have to like You can be hard on someone.
Like I'm I'm definitely like I was definitely hard on on the guy I was talking about, Blake.
I was I was I was tough on him, but I was never like I would never be mean.
I would never Like there's no reason to do that.
Uh and what made me keep going back? I don't know.
Sheer just will and drive.
Like that that's like I I I just was like, "I What?
They're trying That's what they're trying to do.
They want me They want me to quit.
They want me to You know?" And like I don't know.
I always I don't know why I do it.
And I I I I wonder, you know, sometimes I sit in bed and I'm like, "Why am I still working like so hard?"
Like I still work like I've never done a thing in my life.
Like, I'm still wake up every morning.
I'm like, all right, I'm going to do this, then I'm going to do this, and then I swear I'm going to get this thing, and I always That's why I try to do different things that I'm not necessarily great at to Not that I'm not great at, but that I don't have You know, in music, I can go in, I can work with anyone, I can do this.
But like, yeah, like making a cookbook, being in a TV show, I've never done these things.
So, it's like very interesting to me to start at the bottom again and just like try to work my way up. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. I love the climb.
Like, that's my favorite part about life. Even everything.
Like, in a relationship, when you meet that person at the very beginning, it's like, oh, I got to like make my way into their heart, and they have to make their way into mine.
And it's just all about I don't know, getting there is always the best.
And then when you're there, I'm just like, all right.
What else can I I want to get I want to get some You know what I mean? Like Yeah.
you're like, you know, you do the music stuff and you get there, and you're like, I think the only thing where you get there and it it just keeps getting better is in a relationship with someone.
I think that's like the only time you get there and you're like, okay. This is cool.
Like, but when every other time I'm just like, okay, cool. Like, let's go.
What do you What do you think makes relationships different that makes you feel that way as opposed to music?
Cuz in a Or anything else, any other achievement, not music.
Well, well, I've never been in a relationship the way that I've been in one with music cuz it's been like a 30-year relationship.
So, I have no idea what happens 30 years from now in a relationship, but uh I just feel like in a a relationship is like all these other things I'm doing.
There's so many like tentacles.
Like, it's like you go this way, and then you guys explore that together.
And you're exploring so many It's basically anything I would explore in my life, I'm exploring with a a And so, it's like figuring out like you guys are like figuring out things together.
And it's so cool when you have like a partner that like I don't know.
Like I I just get the feeling like it's it's awesome when you can have a partner that you look at and you're and it's like the end of the day and you're like, "Oh, what did you do today?"
And they tell you and you're like, "That's so tight."
Like and you're like, "I want to do more like what when you can feed off of each other and just keep growing together."
It's like every day is a new experience and you guys are like facing different things together and it's I don't know. It's cool.
And I always tell my friend I was just talking to my friend yesterday about this.
I was like, "You always have to keep your work and life balance."
And I was like because you can feel it in the music and and art if you don't have love or you don't have something.
So I always tell them I always feel that it's just like this.
I have like rules like every day like I only work till like a certain time.
I make sure I you know like cooking is very important to me and therapeutic.
So I make sure I do that.
Like it's like Xanax to me.
Like I and I have like all my things that I have to do to make that bound because I do push myself.
I'd shove my head through that wall just that drywall if I had to.
But at the at the same time I try to do all the things it's like, "Okay, like every you know it's like every Sunday I see my mom no matter what."
Every single Sunday at the exact same time and doesn't matter if I like stay up all night I'll I'll just go right into seeing her and it's just like we have like a ritual we do and then I have like my ritual where I go and get my groceries at the farmers market every weekend and there's just all these things that help keep you on track and grounded so you can keep doing what you're doing, you know?
I mean I'm sure you have things like that for yourself. Absolutely.
I mean mine's similar I call my mom at the same time every week cuz she's back in London where I was born and raised and so I have the same time I call her on the weekend and I yeah, there's certain things that have to be done that way.
And same with you and you know, I have a certain time as well that I switch off from work and I'm not looking at my phone.
I have a time in the morning.
I have like 3 hours of being awake before I'm doing any work and I have to take that time for myself.
But what's interesting about what you're saying is that there's a myth obviously that the broken-hearted artist can pour into the music.
But you're actually saying that if you have love in your life, that can also be felt through music.
Yeah, I think I think that at times it's good to have a broken heart, but it's also good You know, there's a time and place for everything.
What time do you wake up? I wake up now at 5:30 a. m.
What What time did you wake up before?
Uh usually it was like I was This year has been different.
This year I've been really prioritizing 5:30, but up until last year it was probably like 6:00 to 6:30.
And what What time do you go to bed?
I go to bed at like 9:00 p. m. now. Really?
Yeah, I love my 8 hours of sleep.
So like if I get into bed at 9:00, I'll be out by 9:15. Okay.
And then if I wake up at 5:30, I've had like 8 hours and 15 minutes of sleep.
Like it's What are you doing What are you doing in those first 3 hours?
Meditating for a lot of it. So I'll wake up at 5:30.
I'll be ready to sit down for meditation by like 5:45.
I'll meditate for an hour and a half.
And then 7:15 I'll go for a hike or go to the gym or yeah, usually a hike or the gym from 7:15 till about 8:15, 8:30.
Get ready and then 9:00 a. m.
I'll take my first emails, meetings, all that kind of stuff.
So I think you came at 10:00 today, so yeah.
Hour and a half Hour and a half is That's That's a good meditation.
Hour and a half How do you even stay focused?
Well, I think it's It's a good question and I always say to people that when I started it wasn't 1 and 1/2 hours.
Like you start up with doing like 7 minutes, then 20 minutes, then 40 minutes and and what I found was just in the same way as if you go to a trainer at the gym, you'd hope that they work out more than you.
So as someone who teaches meditation and helps people with mindfulness, I believe that as a trainer and as a coach, I have to do it for more time and deeper time because otherwise, if I'm only doing it for 7 minutes and I'm mentoring you and you're only doing it for 7 minutes, then how will I ever have an experience to guide you deeper?
And so, I've been doing that since I was 18 now, so it's been a long time.
And when I was a monk for 3 years, it was longer and that's where I got that deepest experience of practice for it.
So, I feel like if I didn't have those 3 years of going really deep into the practice, I may not have the focus I have today. You're a monk? For 3 years, yeah. Like a real monk? monk, yeah. That's insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never met a monk. you pictures.
I've never even met a monk.
Yeah, I'd love to show you I'm not anymore, but yeah.
How long When Where Where what When was this?
So, I This was 2010 to 2013 and I was a monk across India, UK, and Europe.
I traveled between the three.
And I had a shaved head, I wore robes, I slept on the floor.
We met here for like 4 to 8 hours sometimes a day and so, it was a deep practice, yeah.
Standard Standard 8 hours Standard 8 hour meditation is crazy.
When do you do anything else?
Well, sometimes you didn't. That was the point. Like meditation is wild. Isn't that sleeping?
Yeah, yeah, I mean, you could count it as the same thing.
We sleep for 8 hours, so Yeah, I You know, my heart The hardest part for me with meditating is that I instantly fall asleep.
I've I'm I can fall asleep very easily.
So, I'll tell you why though.
The reason why that happens during meditation or any practice of that sort is your body and mind are finally coming into sync.
And so, it's your body saying, "I need sleep right now." Yeah.
And so, if if you're falling asleep during meditation, it's not a bad thing.
It's just you've literally because what's happening when you're not falling asleep is your mind saying, "We got to do more." Yeah, yeah. to do more."
And then finally, when you become present, you fall asleep because your body's saying, "I've done enough today."
Wait, wait, where do you do these meditate I have a little meditation room.
I'll take you to it afterwards. Okay.
Yeah, we can do a meditation with you. All right, we'll do it.
I want to I want to learn I I you know I I've done it There was like a time in my life when when I was going through rough patch and then like but you know, I was going to therapy and I was meditating and stuff and it actually helped me so much. Yeah, wow.
It helped me It helped me a lot. What was that during?
What were you going through?
When everything first started happening for me all at once, it was like really overwhelming.
I was you know, for the first like year or two, I was like, "Oh, this is awesome."
And then like it really hit me because you know, so many different responsibilities and people asking you for money and like I just didn't grow up in a way like I had never I didn't even imagine, you know, I was I was young when I made it.
So I was like I didn't really I didn't even realize about like money and then I'm like, "Oh my god, all of like I have this What do I do with the like" and then it's like I have all this success and people need things from me and people want and it was just too much and where I grew up like I didn't like I don't know.
I didn't go to like therapy as a kid.
I didn't I didn't know about any of that.
I didn't know what anxiety was.
I thought like every I was like, "Oh, everyone the room spins for everyone when you like sit down and you're like doing something."
Yeah, I I just there were so many things I didn't understand and I thought it was just my body and I never talked to anyone about it and I was like, "Oh, they're just things like I learned to live with."
And I remember like I just remember exactly where I was.
I was like walking in to get a new cell phone.
I lost my mind and I and I and I and I just couldn't handle it anymore and I remember like a week later I I went home to Virginia where my mom was living at the time and I remember I was like in the bathroom and I was like I did like I don't I can't do I was like I can't do this anymore.
I like I don't I can't I I had this feeling like this this crazy feeling of anxiety that was like crippling and it was like I couldn't do anything.
And I was just like I I was like in the bathtub and I remember like calling from I was crying and I was like, "I don't know I can't do this.
I don't know what to do."
I like I can't even explain the feel I I didn't know how to articulate the words.
I was like, "I I can't even explain what I'm feeling to you.
I feel like I'm going crazy."
And you know, in my family, you know, there's some people have some issues and I was always scared of myself falling into some similar things that are in my family that run in my family.
And I just remember somebody was somebody got me to go to therapy and they and I met this guy and he's my therapist today, still to this day.
This was He's been my therapist for almost 20 years.
And I remember like I first went there and I had like all these things.
I was like, "I used to like go and I'd have to like hold my head like this."
And I was like, "Well, I can't let go of my arm cuz if I let go of my arm, my neck's going to fall off and I'm going to be paralyzed like I had like crazy.
Like I was so in deep and I never thought I was going to get out.
And I remember I started I used to go 6 days a week and then it was like 3 days a week, then it was 2 days, then it was 1.
And I and it was CBT uh you know, I cognitive behavioral therapy and it's like kind of like a type of therapy where you use your words and it's not I was very I didn't want to do medicine and I didn't you know, cuz I also had in my family there's some drug abuse and stuff and I I I I was like, "I don't want to do this with medicine.
I want to figure out how to do it the right way."
And at that time I wasn't Now, I'm like a workout fanatic.
That's like my new meditation. Nice.
but before that, I was like, "Well, how do I do this?"
And I started, you know, my therapist recommended meditation to me and he had this really easy way of doing it and it was so easy, and it wasn't I it wasn't even like anything specific.
He was like, "Just, you know, he would just like it was the most basic form of meditation.
I would do it with either with a spoken word thing or just like he'd be like, "Find the most calming music you like."
And And I would And he would just be like, "No matter what, just every day."
He was like, "For 20 to 30 minutes, just sit down, put a pillow on your head, try not to be too comfy where you'll fall asleep, set a timer, and just do it."
And I remember doing it, and at first it was impossible.
When I was like in my [ __ ] it was impossible.
And then eventually I started like looking forward to that time every day.
And it really just helped me a lot.
And then like in 2018, I And then I got like it it was probably like a year or so of And this was probably 2009, maybe this was happening.
And then like then I like got back on track, and everything was great.
And then in 2018, I really like working out became like my new meditation.
Like And it was just like I got to have to do it.
And it was so funny cuz I went so many years without doing it.
And I'm sure in your life you went years without doing meditation.
And now like what happens if you randomly miss Do you ever miss one ever?
Like just like I'll touch you up.
I won't Yeah, I don't meditate at 5:30 every day.
Like it's not I I can't keep that up because I'm on planes, we're traveling.
Like our lifestyles don't allow it.
And so I'll be meditating in the evening.
I'll The quality Well, I find that for me the quality dips.
So the last week was one of those weeks.
I was I had like three massively late nights in a row on the weekend cuz of events and parties and things and things that I was going to.
And I couldn't wake up early, and then I still had a full day of work, and then in the evening I was catching up with it.
And I found that I didn't have the time and space that I need in order to feel really aligned.
And what I mean by that is I can still operate, no one else will really notice the difference, but I notice the difference where I'm like, I feel like I have less energy today, I feel like I have less clarity today, and I feel like I'm not as aligned as the best word I can think of, as I like to be.
And so it doesn't really affect anyone else, but it does affect me.
And I know what level I can raise to, which is what you're probably saying when you're working out.
Like, when you miss a day of working out, how do you feel now? Yeah. Yeah.
I I you know, I thought of something when you were saying Yeah, please.
So your scene is like, you know, this guy who's like, "Mindfulness, health, this like a" Isn't it Aren't you sometimes Do you feel like I have to be so perfect all the time?
You know, it's so interesting you say that, Benny.
I I used to think that when I started out that that's what I had to be, and then I've let go of that pressure personally.
Like I let go of that, and I'm just, like I'm saying to you now, I don't wake up every day at 5:00 or 5:30 to meditate.
Sometimes I'm meditating on planes, in Ubers, Yeah, yeah, yeah. on trains.
Sometimes I'm doing it while I'm falling asleep.
Like I I'm okay with opening up about that, because to me that A, I hope Well, A, it's the truth.
B, I hope that that actually helps people realize that they don't have to have the perfect regime Yeah.
every single day, because I used to think that, and all I did was put more pressure on myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like I'd stress myself out.
So I'm more comfortable today saying I believe in meditation, I value mindfulness, I value all these things, Yeah.
but it doesn't look perfect in my life. Yeah. won't in yours, either. Yeah. doesn't in anyone's.
Whoever's life we think it looks perfect in Yeah. is is a myth.
Yeah, sometimes you get upset.
Like, if you get Like you're like a guy who's like not allowed to get upset. Like something happens.
Like it's it you know I find that sometimes. Benny?
What are you trying to say? Yeah, exactly.
No, I find sometimes in in in work like you know, when you get to the top of like your field, people are only expecting like a perfect right like like if you're like say you're like LeBron James.
Like if you don't have if you score like 20 instead of like 40 in the game, they're like, "Oh, what's happening to LeBron?"
You know, and it's this like it's this pressure that that I know exists for people and I just wanted to know Yeah, no, I definitely have felt that pressure and I think I've removed it from myself.
That's what I realized that ultimately it was a pressure I was putting on myself.
It wasn't actually from anyone else.
It was me thinking, whereas if I was just honest and transparent and authentic with people, then all of a sudden the pressure's off. Yeah.
And and I can also be a human because I am one.
And and I think I think there is so much more of a joy in embracing our imperfections and flaws and recognizing that it's even with coaching people, by the way, and I'm sure you feel this with music.
Like when you you working with a artist to produce their album is like what I do with coaching clients.
So, coaching clients come to me and say, "Hey, can we solve this problem?" Whatever else it may be.
Someone's coming to you saying, "Hey, Benny, can you make this album with me?"
And before I used to think, "God, if I don't say something profound in the first hour of meeting someone, then they're not going to think I'm worthy or valuable." Yeah.
And I started to realize I was like that blocked me from saying something worthy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It didn't allow me to be a channel or a vessel.
I was now forcing some manufactured version. Yeah, yeah.
And even if I did, now I was just setting myself up for more pressure every time we met rather than just having a flowing exchange with someone. How do you feel?
Like when an artist comes and says, "Hey, Benny, I want you to produce my whole album."
Where was the time it switched from pressure to just flow?
I never had because I don't care.
Because I treat every experience like I'll I'll be like this.
You know, some people when you get in the studio or there's something or you're on a TV set or you're on here, they're just like, "Oh, we got to get it all done.
We have to get this done today.
We have to" For me, I'm just as happy if we were to come in like if I came into this podcast today and you're like, "Hey, I'm sorry like the equipment's not working."
Then I'd be like, "Oh, let's just like chill, walk around your thing."
Because that's what was meant to happen that day and I'm not stressing because you know what?
Eventually we'll get like an interview or eventually we'll get a song or you know, I I'm a big like procrastinator in work.
Like when someone comes over, I'm like, "You like to eat? What do you want to eat? You want to eat some? I'll eat some."
All that stuff is part of it.
It's part of what's going to happen later.
You know what I'm saying?
Or you like let's say you have a client, someone like you're trying to get to the bottom or the root of a problem.
You're going to have to disarm them and get them to chill. Yeah. Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, it's not going to happen through anything else.
What's your Do you have Do you have a set up process for every person or do you really go with the flow with each individual?
This stuff got caffeine in it?
It has natural caffeine from tea. I'll take a sip of it. Yeah, yeah. It's green tea.
Green tea is really caffeinated, right?
Yeah, yeah, it's natural. caffeine? I only in the tea form. Only in the tea form. I like that. Only in the tea form.
in like I I drink herbal tea and I drink this tea, but I don't That's good. Thanks, man. Appreciate it.
My wife and I put it together. It's all natural. Go buy his drink.
How did you come up with the name?
It stands for just you and I.
So it was a way of trying to bring people together through sharing a moment.
How's the caffeine hitting? Is it all right? I'm taking little sips.
I don't drink caffeine at all. yeah.
Neither do I apart from tea.
So Yeah, I don't drink I don't drink I'm not like a caffeine person.
I wake up and I'm like ready to rip. too.
I wake up, I like pop out of bed. do you wake up? Early. Yeah? Yeah, like uh 6:00. Usually 6:10 to 6:30. Yeah.
What gets you in the creative zone?
Like you're always like cooking like let's let's talk about Open Wide for a second.
Like creativity I think people look at you and they think, "Oh, he's musically creative, but then the rest of his life must be but no, it's like you're creative in cooking, you're creative in music.
Obviously you talk about relationships can be creative, too.
Like is it just something that was cooking always a passion?
Yeah, it's just like Do you cook at all or no?
So, I'm the exact opposite.
Cooking, kitchens, and cooking scares me.
My wife is a plant-based chef and recipe developer. Really? Oh my god. is all she does.
What what what Has she always cooked? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's loved it since she was And she's a dietitian and nutritionist as well. her name? Uh Radha. Radha's her name. R A D H I Radha. And okay okay, yeah. Yeah, I got to see it.
Yeah, I'm I'm I'm obsessed with all that.
One of my friends uh the person who I wrote my book with, her name's Jess.
She has like a she's predominantly like a a plant-based chef and she worked for Martha Stewart for years and and she's incredible.
And I I uh it's funny like my books are always crazy.
For I eat very healthy unless I'm being like a naughty boy.
Um What's what's naughty? How bad's naughty?
Oh, naughty is like you wake up and there's crumbs and glaze all over you.
You don't even know what it is.
But mostly I'm I'm I'm pretty I'm like during during the week, you know, cuz I lost a lot of weight. I lost like 50 lb. Wow. Um consciously Yes.
Yeah, uh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now you know, honestly at the beginning I was going into a weight loss challenge because my brother had gained a bunch of weight.
And then when I went and we like did the DEXA scan thing, I was 33% body fat.
I was like, "What am I fat?"
And I just didn't even I didn't even know that I was being un you know, unhealthy.
And then like that's when I started working out and I got obsessed with it and it was like I wasn't necessarily trying to lose weight, but then like once I did I was like, "Whoa, this is cool."
And I'm one of those people now like when I lost the first weight, it wasn't trying to lose weight.
It was just like trying to be healthy.
And then I felt like the feeling every time I went to the gym.
I was like, "Whoa, I have no anxiety like after and I'm not thinking about anything else except like what's happening."
And that was very rare for me.
So I was like, "I got to chase this feeling."
And then now I like, you know, me and my friends we do like little like weight loss challenges where like, "Whoever can lose the most weight in like 1 month or whoever can do this."
I just like to I like to challenge my body and my life. your comfort zone.
Yeah, I like to just like push myself in any way possible.
But yeah, no, I I like I do eat pretty healthy. Yeah, very yeah.
Well, because of her, right? Because of her, exactly.
Otherwise, you'd be like Before I met her, it was like pizzas and midnight burgers, fries. That's my favorite food.
What are you guys eating today? Like what you eat today?
What did I have in the morning?
I had like avocado mushroom toast Okay. In the morning.
And did you make it or she did? No, no, no, she did. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So if she's not in town, do you ever call ordering I'm ordering in, but I'm ordering healthy.
You're ordering healthy because you're scared she might be filming you or watching you.
That's actually I'll say I'll say to my team, I'll be like, "Guys, just you know, let's order this cuz my wife's not around." Yeah, no.
Yeah, yeah, you'll be a little naughty.
She's been a good influence on me cuz before I met her, I was addicted to sugar.
Like I was addicted to chocolates and ice cream.
I had a massive cuz my mom Yeah, I don't have this I don't have the sweet tooth. That's lucky, man. That's one of the worst.
rather like a huge slice of bread or a taco.
Like I I I love I really like uh like one bite of a dessert.
Like I always want Yeah, I always want one bite like at the end of the day like I'll always have like a date or something or like a piece of fruit.
Like I love that, but like I don't like the I don't know.
Like occasionally like a cookie or something if it's not too sweet.
I don't like really sweet things.
They make my stomach hurt.
Like so I like there's a few like I like uh What's that thing when it's uh it's like meringue uh uh pavlova.
Like cuz they're not too sweet and it's like light.
Pavlova makes me How did you curb your cravings for things you love?
Like when you're doing a challenge, how do you curb your cravings for shut it off.
I love I love like I love a challenge. Just any challenge.
If someone's like "I bet you can't walk 25 miles right now." I'm like, "Yes, I can." And I'll do it.
Like I just love I love that feeling of doing something.
Um and you have a group of people that you do it with.
And I do it with my friends.
I work out with my friend.
If I didn't have a trainer, I only pay the only reason I see a trainer is because I'm so crazy that I was would be like, "Oh, I can't waste the money." Like so I I got to go.
But if I if it was just up to me, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't do it.
I wouldn't be able to do it.
It's just that someone's you know or my friends are like, "Let's go to the gym. We got to go together."
And we work out together.
And I like, you know, coming back to the food. I like anything. I love community. I love hosting.
I love like there there's there's nothing better to me than like creating like an experience for people.
I don't care what the medium is.
Like creating some experience where like when someone leaves, they're just like, "Woah."
And they're telling all their friends.
And like for me it's it's just like you're you know this is like uh looking to give someone an orgasm face at all times.
Like every moment like it cuz that's what it is.
It's when you when someone tastes your food, they just like open their mouth and they put it in.
You just want them to be like, "Mhm."
Like you you just want that feeling.
That when someone plays a song, you want them to be like, "Oh my god, that thing is crazy."
You know, like after you like change someone's life and they can do a meditation where they can like put their leg behind their head.
They're just like, "Oh, thank you.
You brought me to a higher sense of being."
Like it's it's that's what we're looking for.
And and I'm always looking to make my friends happy.
I'm always, you know, if someone comes to my house and they have like, you know, a hamburger and they're like, "I love this.
This is my favorite hamburger." I know that.
So then I'm thinking like the next time they come and like, "Oh, I'm going to like make sure they have that for them."
And you know, my grandma when I was a kid, one of my grandmas, she you know, she she was not wealthy by any means.
She grew up in it like, you know, she her place was in Section 8 housing and we would go visit her.
And she had a lot of grandkids.
And if we went over there and one time we like had a junie and we were like, "We love this."
It would be there every time we ever went.
And she had so many grandkids.
So everyone had every single thing and she would she would you know, she wouldn't eat for the week to make sure that like everyone had their things and and because it made her so happy.
The joy she would have when everyone was coming in and all the things were there.
We'd be like, "Oh, she has this."
And she And that's what I like to do and I love to create like, whether it's like the perfect napkin, the perfect like meal, the perfect music playing at the same time.
Like, you know, and that's what I did with this book.
I was like trying to teach people how to have like the perfect dinner party. That's brilliant.
Cuz I was like, "Okay, you know, some people they might not know what to do.
Like, you're nervous in the kitchen.
This book is going to make it so like sure fire way.
You want something easy that looks good? Great.
You want to have a dinner party?
Like, do you know what type of wine to serve? I don't know.
Do you want to smoke weed with your people?
Does weed make you anxious? Who knows?
Is it midnight and you want everyone to leave cuz you got to wake up at 5:30 the next day, but you still want them to love you?
I'm going to teach you how to kick them out.
You know, and it's just like, I love that. Yeah.
It's that whole thing and it's just like that moment of just like getting a bunch of people together.
And I love getting the people together that don't necessarily go together.
And it's like someone is like a musician and they're sitting next to a man who wrote a book.
And I mean, one time we were at my house and I remember I was uh my mother was sitting here and SZA was sitting here and a man on the other side actually makes rocket ships that go to space.
And to me, it was just so cool to see them all talking and not caring about, you know, what was going on.
And there was no egos and there was everyone's just having a good time.
And food is like the best social lubricant in the world because it's like you can immediately talk about something.
You're like, "Oh, you like food?"
It's just like the automatic conversation starter. Yeah, yeah.
Next time you come over, we're going to have to do food for sure because yeah, that's it's a big love language for my wife.
She loves She always says, "That's our love language."
I want to cook with She wants to Yeah, you guys would have a You guys would have a blast.
She loves cooking, creating recipes, and also same as the Ukrainian community.
And it's actually funny to say that.
I'm trying to think of a book that you just reminded me of that was based on a restaurant that did that.
And they recently converted it became 11 Madison Park in New York.
And it was a restaurant that tried to give that level of care That's so cool. that you feel in a home.
And and so open wide your book.
I loved I love that it's not just a cookbook.
I love that it's No, it's all of that.
It's about how to build Cuz I think that's what people miss out on, right?
We think that hosting is about all the fancy stuff and it's like it isn't.
It's It's not about any of that.
The food, you know, my grandfather always said this thing.
He would always say, "You know, when I was a kid, I never even understood it, but I so understand it now."
He always used to say we'd always figure out where we were going to dinner and he goes, "It doesn't matter. It's about the wrap."
And I and I we were like, "What do you mean?"
He's like, "It's just about the wrap."
He's like, "The only thing it's just to get everyone together.
it's just to get everyone together. If the food's great, that's awesome, but it's about hanging with your friends, laughing till you cry, you know, falling in love with someone, fall you know, I've I've had the opportunity to have dinners where like so many things have
happened to people, you know, someone's found the person they date, somebody's, you know, started a company, somebody's laughed so hard they cry, you know, and it's that's that's what I'm trying to do and I love do you do you ever you have dinners with people and stuff? Well, it's one of my favorite things to
Well, it's one of my favorite things to host as well, yeah.
It's my favorite thing to Dude, I don't want to go out to a nightclub.
I want to like sit at home with my friends till 2:00 in the morning.
Well, for you, you can't do that. do that. I can do that.
Now, what happens what happens if you stay up late?
Do you just self-combust? You can bust. No, not at all, man. I can stay up late.
I just I just choose not to always do it cuz I love sleep.
Okay, when you were out uh late this week, what time what time were you out?
Yeah, probably probably getting to bed around 1:00 or 2:00.
Okay, and you and you then what time do you sleep till?
Oh, no, that the problem was I was still waking up cuz my body clock's so wired that I was waking up at the same time.
No matter what, I wake up at like 6:00 in the morning, no matter when I go to bed.
I don't go to bed as early as you, though.
I'm like a if my dream world, I go to bed at like 11:30, 12:00, and then I wake up at like 6:00, 6:30.
And then on the weekends, I really don't sleep a lot, but I don't need a ton of sleep, but I know I'm sure you're going to say that's terrible for you. No, not at all, man.
I'm not going to say anything's terrible for you.
What works for you works for you.
But you should I should be getting more sleep, right?
scientists say 7 to 9 hours a day.
What else do scientists say?
Exactly, I don't know, but that's I mean, that's what I'm saying.
I but yeah, my whole family I know I need eight and I can survive on I can do fine on six or five if I needed to.
Like 6 and 1/2 is my like is your sweet spot. Yeah, chef's kiss.
Anything over seven, I feel strange.
That's good, though, but then don't follow it.
Seven like don't push it.
I think that's a big part of it, too, right?
So, like my wife talks to me a lot about this, this idea of being able to listen to your body, Yeah, I feel like so many of us are like, "God, I got to wake up at 5:30 now cuz Jay said he wakes up at 5:30 or I got to wake up at 4:00 cuz Elon Musk wakes up at 4:00 or you know, Benny said he wakes up at 6:10.
So, I'm going to you know, so whatever it is and it's like well, creativity is not based on those things.
That's just what works for your body and your mind is what works for my body and my mind.
So, I think you know, but you seem to have a lot of like not just community, but you seem to have like a lot of the same people around you, loyal friends.
Like that seems to be a big part of your How have you continued to be able to build that as you grow and make it It sounds like all your friends love challenges and growth because a lot of people who are listening sometimes feel their friends are not wanting to grow, they're not wanting to try new things. so fun.
You You do it You Some people I've pushed to that and some people have pushed me in other ways and like that's the That's That's what it's all about.
You know, to me, I've just had some of my friends for so long because it's hard to find people that are on your And I I think it's harder and harder as you get older.
You know, a lot of my friends Most of my friends I knew since I was young.
And then, I have like you know, like a new friend for me is like 5 years.
Like I'd be like I'd be like whoa, yeah, this is like one of my new friends.
Like most of my friends are 8, 10, 20, And do they live in the city too or no? All different places.
Some of my friends are like Some of my friends have very regular jobs and and you know, some of them I only get to see once or twice a year in person because of their job, you know.
My friend was just out here.
He comes every year for, you know, like a month and a half towards the end of the year cuz he's a therapist and he works, you know, in Virginia and he can't really travel that much.
So, then we get to see each other then.
And then, you know, my other friend, his wife is becoming a doctor and and they've had to have residencies in all these other places and he works for like Capital One or something and he We we get to see each other in person very often, but when we do, it's like we saw each other yesterday.
You know, and we talk all the time on on And then, some of my friends are in the same world as me, so they get it.
Some of them are in entertainment.
And I just love bringing My friend group is very eclectic.
Like, it's like all different types of people.
And I love putting people that wouldn't normally be in a room together in a room to see what happens. the randomest two?
Is it the person building rocket ships and then your mom and then SZA?
I'm uh It's just like people You know, it's very common for me to go out to dinner and have like one person be 22 and then the next person be like 70.
Like, and and that's not and and and having it not be someone's mom or dad.
Like, having it just be someone that's my friend, you know?
And cuz I've met so many I'm very interested in people.
I love I love meeting creative people.
Whether that means they're creative professionally, whether creative in their mind, whether they, you know, I just love I love that feeling of getting into a conversation with someone.
Yeah, I also think multi-generational friendships are so powerful.
Like, I was talking to someone about that.
Like, me and my wife have uh a couple friend of ours and they're in their late 60s.
And they're some of our favorite people to hang out with.
Like, I feel like I learn so much, I grow so much, I gain so much perspective.
They've lived 30 years more life than I have.
Like, and I think that's it's so interesting how we may spend time with our parents, but we're not necessarily having friends that are in a different decade of their life.
But, how powerful it can be to be with someone.
A lot of people don't even know their parents like that.
Like, even if you're like close with your parents, like like, how close are you with your mom?
I'm pretty close with my mom, yeah. Okay.
But, like You don't know There's so many things you don't know about her.
Like, you don't know like like how she felt the first time she got her heart broken.
You don't know like if she ever cheated on someone.
Like you don't Like sometimes I For me, I'll sit my mom down and I just ask her like every I'm like, "What drugs have you taken?"
And I'm like, "How did it make you feel?"
Cuz my parents got divorced.
I was like, "How did you know you wanted to get divorced? What did you feel?"
And I And I always I try to do that because one of my friends started recording his dad when his dad got sick.
And he asked him every question he ever wanted to ask him. Because it is so crazy.
You're so close to this person that you really don't know.
Like you really like we really don't even know our parents that well.
Because you don't You don't ask them those type of things. And no one does.
Like And it it's also that time where I remember like your parents gospel is just like the end-all be-all when you're a kid.
And then all of a sudden, you're like 15 or 16, you're like, "Wait.
You're just a human That was a mess-up on you. You just lied.
Like I just caught you in that lie.
But like until you're like 15 or 16 or something, you can't even fathom that.
And then like you realize it's cool.
I'm so thankful that I get to like, you know, talk to my parents and my family now like as an adult and be like, "Yo, what were you feeling like like when you went through this?
And like how did you raise us like that?
And is it so hard to do this?" And it's cool. I I like that feeling.
Yeah, I I did something similar a few years ago.
I felt that way with the podcast where I was like learning about people I'd never met.
And so we were celebrating my sister's 30th birthday.
So it was me, my mom, and my sister, my younger sister.
And I just started interviewing my mom at dinner.
And there was no We didn't record it. It was just us three. And I learned so much.
So my mom was studying for her exams while cuz she was born and raised in Yemen while there were Yemeni soldiers fighting British soldiers on her roof.
Like you know, so And I was like I had no idea.
And she just casually drops that as if it's like normal.
And I'm like, "Mom, you realize that's not normal."
You should interview your mom.
You need to interview about it.
It's been It's been on my mind.
I need to Interviewing your family is so crazy. Yeah. Cuz you're right.
I I I think everyone I would love to do it because I want everyone to do it.
My wife was my first ever guest on the show. Really? Yeah, yeah.
Because that was a big part of it for me.
It was like I feel like you're so right.
We don't really deeply know our family when We think we know them. Yeah. We think we know them.
We assume that we know them.
Yeah, I used to do this thing on my uh well, I still do it on all of my albums where like the last song on my album has like a uh a spoken word section of it's like over instrumental of um each person in my family.
And so far I did my mom and my dad.
And I asked them all these questions. Wow.
And it's crazy to know the cuz I basically I asked them questions for like an hour and then I take like the best like 30 seconds.
And it was both my parents wound up talking the most about like their divorce.
And it was like so interesting to see both sides of it because I have now forever in time I have my mom's version and my dad's version.
And then like I just you know, I'm putting out a new album and I interviewed my brother for his version of it now.
And it's like uh That's beautiful, man. Yeah, it's fun. That's really special. It's fun.
And it's like, you know, it's emotional and it's like, "Whoa."
It's cool to hear both sides of everyone's side of an event.
What did you Yeah, I I think you're so right because yeah, we often think there's only one truth and one story and then all of a sudden there's three.
And what was the biggest thing you learned from hearing your mom and dad's version of divorce?
Like what was something that surprised you or something you were like, "Wow, I did not recognize that when I was growing up."
I think that it made them both better people to get out of the relationship.
And I think like uh at first it seemed like my parents were not fans of each other at first. It was like crazy. But now they're friends.
I mean they haven't been married for, you know, 20-something years.
But uh but yeah, now now we all like go to dinner together and like go on vacation.
Um but you know, it wasn't always that way.
And it's it's cool to see like where it started to where it is now.
And I do think like me and my brother like were a big uh like our success was like a big catalyst on getting like everyone together cuz it forced us to get together and then it it And no, it's cool.
I don't know yo, life is so crazy.
Like the way, you know, the way you meet people and the way people come in and out of your life and someone you may not even like really know could become your wife or someone like that's like you despise could become your best friend.
And it's just it's very interesting how how life plays out.
And I find that more and more as I get older.
And my mom always used to be like she'd be like, "You know, when you get older, you're going to" And I used to be like, "What are you talk" And but it's so true.
Just like over and over again, I'm learning something new every day. Yeah. Yeah, it's so true, man.
Benny, I could talk to you for hours.
Genuinely, like we could go on and on and on, but I wanted to make sure is there anything that we haven't talked about before we go to the final five, which is the way we end in the interviews.
Is anything we haven't talked about that you really wanted to touch on that on your heart or mind or something that What's your five thing?
What's that you That Yeah, we can do that. We'll start with that.
It's a final five that we end every interview with of all time. same question.
It's the same well, same four questions.
One of them I usually play with.
Same three or four questions.
And one of them I usually play with for the person.
And uh these are your final five.
They have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum. Oh my god. Yeah.
And then I may ask you to go on because I usually break my rule. But here we go. All right.
Benny Blanco, these are your final five.
So, the first question is, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received? Don't be afraid to fail.
Who told you it and have you practiced it?
I can't remember who told me it, but I did tell you it. Yeah, yeah.
something that No, no, no.
Somebody told me it, but I will tell you this.
I always say this to someone because people come up to me all the time and they're just like, "Oh man, you don't miss. You did this. You did that."
And and I I I'll talk to someone, you know, one of my friends was going through a hard time recently.
It was like his first failures and I remember talking to him and I said, I said, "You don't think I've failed a million times?"
I said, "You look at someone like Michael Jordan, okay?
He's taking like so many shots.
He's missed so many shots.
Do you remember any of those? No.
You remember him swishing it and walking back with his tongue out.
Nobody's sitting there being like, "Jay, I saw that, you know, back in like 2008, that rap career didn't really work out for you."
No, they're like, "Jay, wow, every get You got Michelle Obama on you."
So, I always tell people like it doesn't it doesn't matter.
You don't be afraid to fail.
Nobody's even going to remember it.
There's only And if someone's literally tallying your failures, they're psycho, you know? Well said, man.
Yeah, no one remembers the misses. No.
No one remembers the misses if you keep going. Yeah, if you keep going.
you stop at the miss got to keep going, man. to keep going.
Uh question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?
I was going around playing my music for people and I had just switched my style up because I used to make I like originally made music that sounded like I was copying Timbaland, sounded like I was copying Pharrell, sounded like I was trying to be someone else.
And I remember I I I I had just made music that didn't sound like anything.
It sounded so weird, it was so different, wasn't like what was going on.
I remember I went into a meeting and someone was like, "Nobody makes music like this."
They're like, "You got to You got to fit in more."
Like, and that just like made me go the opposite way.
Then I was like, "Now I know I got to do the craziest stuff."
Because at least I just want someone when I used to go in and play music for them to be like, "I've never heard anything like this." Like, "This is so weird.
This is not going to work."
Because that's what When everyone likes something usually, that means it's not going to work.
You know, when when some people are unsure about something, that's when it's usually going to work. So, I I don't know.
Someone told me to fit in more and I didn't really vibe with that. Mhm.
That's a that's a great answer.
I think it's so interesting when you're young, everyone tells you to fit in and when you get older, everyone says stand out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's like, "Well, wait a minute. I had to wear a uniform.
I had to come in on time and now all of a sudden I've got to find who I am." Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's such a contradiction.
Yeah, so it's a great answer. All right.
Uh question number three.
What's something that you used to value that you no longer value? Success.
I used to really care about getting that number one song, getting that thing.
And I feel like I I feel like I did everything I wanted to do.
Like, and now I feel like everything's like the cherry on top of the sundae now.
So, I'm just having so much fun trying new things.
And of course, I want them to be successful and stuff.
But like, I don't have I And I And I do still like work and have a drive and want to do it, but I want to do it more for me and less for like other people.
I used to want to do it because I was like, "I have to be number one.
I have to be the best in the world. I have to be this.
I And now I just get to wake up and I'm like, okay, I already did the things I want to do.
So like I want to make a cookbook. I want to do it.
I want to do this and I like really want it to be the best and I want it to be awesome.
But it's something that I want to do and I'm putting like that pressure on myself.
It's not like for other people anymore.
And yeah, I think I don't know.
It's I And And I always had a strange feeling with success, too.
I was always like kind of like ashamed of it for some reason.
Or I'd be like, oh, I don't I don't I don't deserve that.
I'm probably going to get like cancer now because like I did because I did well.
So like I don't deserve this and like somebody else somebody else deserves this more and like How did you overcome that doubt?
Cuz I think a lot of people feel that way.
Uh People who come into money, fame, even a bit of success and we start going, oh, crap, this wasn't meant to be.
Yeah, it's still I still it's still there for me.
That that part I still have that feeling a little bit a little bit of the imposter syndrome.
But it's so funny cuz I'm so confident at the same time.
But at at you know, sometimes I do have that feeling where I'm just like, uh like why do I deserve this? Like what did I do?
And like there's so many more people who are more talented than and I'll like start questioning stuff like that in my head. Yeah.
And And you're still working through that. Still Yeah, every day.
We're working through everything.
And the success thing like it's not fully let go, but it's like it's something that like I catch myself more and more like just really wanting to do the things because like it's not a competition always anymore.
It used to be like such a competition with me in my head. Yeah. With that.
And I try to find like other things that are competitions and like competitions like that are like friendly and there's not like a huge thing at the end of the tunnel for it. Beautiful. Question number four.
What's something that you think you learned from your parents' relationship that affects your relationships moving forward?
Like something that you'll take as a lesson on what to do or what not to do.
I don't think my parents listened to each other.
And I think all relationships, whether it's romantic, business, friendships, you have to you just have to listen to each other.
It's like the easiest thing in the world.
And just be a listener and it's okay to be wrong.
I I well I like that's that's also another thing that like I've really come to terms with.
Like it's like I always would find myself like wanting to be right about the thing, wanting to be this and it almost makes you look better if you're like, you know what? I was I I was wrong.
And stop trying to like defend the thing to the end that you know you're wrong about.
So it's like I I I was wrong. I was wrong.
And then like everyone's happy if you just say if you're like, I was wrong. I messed up. I messed up.
Instead of like trying that's like putting shame around being wrong and it's okay to be wrong.
Like it's okay to [ __ ] up sometimes. Like you know. I think that's great.
Listen and it's okay to be wrong.
Yeah, it's okay to be wrong.
Uh fifth and final question, Benny.
We ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show.
If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?
You know, I just I wish there was a world where just everyone could find a way to just like fit in and just like not be it's okay to get upset sometimes.
I just wish people could talk things out and and find a way to like love each other and find I don't know, find a way to like live together.
You know, it just like killed like anytime it's so hard for me to ever watch any of the news and it's just like oh, I'm like it just like crushes me watching people fight and people like violence and it's like crazy. Like I don't understand.
I just like don't even under- I don't know people you know, to like for someone to do something so bad to like an innocent like anytime I see things like that, I just don't understand and I you know, I in my ideal world, there's I don't even know if it's a law.
I don't know people just be nice to each other and and just be like caring and considerate and understand that it's okay to not be the same as somebody else and it's okay to not have the exact same opinion as somebody else, but you guys can coexist and live and just like I I I don't know.
It's like I always have these like idealistic thoughts in my head and it's very hard to create those because we're so far gone as a planet.
You know, there's like so much greed and there's so much I don't know.
I've always been like just like happy whether like I had a lot of money or no money and I've always found that when me and my friends listen to each other and work together and talk things out like every like nothing can go wrong and if it can go if it does go wrong, then you talk about it and you make it better and I don't know.
What what's the best law you heard someone say?
Ooh, that's a good question.
Um I I think a lot of people share the sentiment that you're saying.
Like I think a lot of us feel like that.
Like we want to live in a more just, happier, loving, kinder world.
I think two that stand out to me, uh Daniel Kaluuya came on.
He's the guy you know, yeah.
So Daniel came on and he said that for everyone that you judged or criticized, the law would be that you'd have to then, whoever you judge and criticize, you'd have to go live as them for a day or a year or something like that. Ooh, I like that.
like it was like a it was like a fixed thing.
And then Trevor Noah had one.
His one was um there'd be a rule that every day someone's bank balance in the planet could go to zero.
So, it could be you, your friend, your family member.
And how differently you'd behave with people knowing that that could be you one day.
Could be your mom, it could be your dad, it could be your friend.
And that way you'd be more conscious of what it would feel like to be around people who don't have a lot. Yeah, I change mine.
Uh free weed for everyone. That's the law. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's my That's my new one. Yeah. Um no, that's great. That's That's good one. Those are good.
Is Is weed an unlock unlocked your creativity?
Does it make you anxious as you were mentioning for other people earlier?
Like I love smoking weed. Yeah.
You you Are you allowed to now you're I don't. I don't.
You don't You don't do anything? to. do anything?
You ever have a sip of alcohol? No, not anymore. When did you quit? Uh When you were a monk? 15 years ago, yeah. 15, 16 years.
What What What's your What do you do? What's your wild thing?
Uh my wild thing is I'm a Strippers, I know it. No, I'm just kidding. No, what is it?
I'm a super I guess my wildness comes I'm super competitive.
So, if I'm playing a sport that I'm good at. No, come on.
Give me like What's your What's your vice? My vice is sugar, man.
It's like it's taking me forever. Yeah, literally. I'm like yeah. What's your vice? My vice is sugar.
My vice is I like to work hard.
My vice is So, but you don't have anything So, you don't have anything?
It's not that I don't have anything.
It's I've worked on it hard. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah.
So, no drinking, no weed, no psychedelics, no Well, I I I'd be I'd be I saw your eye glimmer a little.
I'm always open to exploring anything that would be I I mean, weed was something that I did a lot in my teens.
So, it's not something I've never done.
want to know the teen you. The teen you was wild. me was wild.
I think that's what it is.
Like growing up in London, too, like you start drinking very early.
You start playing around with drugs and stuff very early.
And so, we just had access to a lot of things.
So, I feel like it's not that I don't It's that I've done a lot in my teens.
And so, it's not that I have a again and I've nothing against it.
I think I'm always open to things that have medicinal or healing benefits.
So I've always been open a lot of my clients will do MDMA, do Iboga, do Ayahuasca like and so I'm very familiar with these things and I'm always working alongside uh neuro clinical neuroscientist that I take advice from for my clients and clients own exploration.
So I'm very aware and like to be educated more and get more experience but I would do it if I felt there was healing I that that could reward me with for sure.
I'm very open to anything that has healing powers.
Do you take any supplements?
I take a lot of I take 20 supplements a day.
All right, let's tell me about the supplements.
Yeah, so I'm taking I'll show you my drawer later.
It's like literally 20 tablets a day but it's like B12, magnesium, D, C uh K um probiotics, uh gut supplements, creatine like Why do you take them all?
Because I I really do feel a difference. I find creatine?
That's like from the '80s. Yeah, but it works.
It's like so what's really interesting is that I work with we've had the doctor that I work with on the show. His name is Dr. Shah. He runs Next Health. Okay.
And Next Health basically will do the deepest blood tests and give you like you do that thing where you have like a bowl of pills you got to take.
It's like a packet every day.
you get all your biomarkers.
So you get everything and what I found is that different body types can't digest certain things.
Like my body can't get the nutrients from certain things.
I have to eat different proteins. I'm also plant-based.
So the supplements provide me with all the missing nutrients.
So Were you feeling bad before you did this?
I was feeling when I wasn't taking all the supplements, I was feeling more tired more easily. Oh wow.
And I was like, why am I tired?
Cuz I work out, I sleep well, I meditate like I don't why am I tired? What type of tired?
Uh just like a feeling of like lethargy or fatigue at the end of the day, but like a tired that I didn't like.
And I realized that so vitamin D is meant to be at 60 is safe, 100 is ideal. I was at 10.
And if and people always say, "Well, you live in LA, you get enough vitamin D." It's not true.
Like you've got to be out in the sun naked like for 4 hours a day to get enough vitamin D, especially with my color of skin.
And so for me today vitamin D is non-negotiable.
And for most people are low in vitamin D.
And so my doctors my nutritionist was saying, "Jay, your vitamin D levels means you should be depressed."
I was like, "I don't feel depressed. I'm just tired."
And she was just like, "Well, you know, if you change that will make a massive difference." And it did.
And so I think a lot of people a lot of the times we think we're struggling mentally, but a lot of it's chemical and biological and physical.
What you're saying with working out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right?
Like it's a physical shift that's changed your mindset.
And we can get in our head and get Oh god, why am I tired?
There's something wrong with me. Like maybe I'm stressed. And it can be that.
Of course it can be that, but sometimes it's chemical and physical.
So So you take 20 supplements a day. I'll show you.
Yeah, I'll show you my little pill drawer.
What do you do any other things? No, no, that's it.
Do you drink any other tinctures through the day that you have to No, no.
Well, creatine is I have to mix it in and then But why do why do they have you do creatine?
That's for me to digest a particular nutrient.
For for my digestion to be good.
I also take um Oh, do you have trouble you have bad stomach? Not a bad stomach.
I think that when I went completely plant-based, which I was telling people if they're making that transition, I always tell people to do it slowly.
I kind of did it overnight. When?
Um 8 years ago when I married my wife.
I was vegetarian, but I became plant-based as soon as I married her.
And I think that my gut reacted poorly to that quick transition.
And so whenever anyone's talking about being plant-based or eating healthy, I'm always like do it slowly because your body's just used to a habit, whether it's good or bad.
And now I feel great, but it it transitionary period for sure.
So I do that and then I do I I have vinegar before meals cuz that regulates the acid internally.
So that's like mix shot of vinegar with diluted in water.
Do you take like a lot of protein a day?
Yeah, I take a lot of protein but a lot of protein meals but like natural natural forms of as much as I can.
Well, what's your natural protein?
Well, like I'm doing a lot of lentils and dolls like the Indian the Indian diet generally leads well to that kind of stuff.
And then I will do things like tofu which of course you know and then not so natural supple not so natural forms of protein as well. Yeah, yeah.
Like I I found I found these amazing bagels that are protein filled that are plant based. They're amazing. Yeah.
So things like that just to just to stock up but I found that eating protein every day has made a big difference.
The amount of protein that we don't have in our diets is insane.
And I'm not a pro at this.
We've had doctors who've come on the show and really educated people.
Yeah, you're you're supposed to eat a gram of protein per a pound.
Yeah, and you you realize you're like nowhere close.
Like even if you're eating meat it's hard. Yeah, yeah.
And so what to speak of anyone who's plant based.
Benny, this has been a joy and honor. I hope we do a part two. I love it. I hope there's dinners.
I hope there's so much more in the works with this uh I can't wait. relationship. I appreciate you, man. Thank you so much.
Like you took us on a whole journey today and I felt like we got a peek into your mind which is always my favorite thing to do. Thanks, man.
Uh I want everyone to know Open Wide is available right now.
So make sure you go grab it.
We'll put the link in the caption in the comments and wherever you're viewing.
Of course, if you don't follow Benny on social media uh already, please go and follow him across platforms.
And Benny, thank you so much for showing up for On Purpose today.
I'm so grateful and deeply appreciate, man. Thank you, man. Yeah, thank you.
If this is the year that you're trying to get creative, you're trying to build more, I need you to listen to this episode with Rick Rubin on how to break into your most creative self, how to use unconventional methods that lead to success, and the secret to genuinely loving what you do.
If you're trying to find your passion and your lane, Rick Rubin's episode is the one for you.
Just because I like it, that doesn't give it any value.
Like, as an artist, if you like it, that's all of the value.
That's the success comes when you say, "I like this enough for other people to see it."