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Friends on purpose on three. One, two, three. Friends on purpose.
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I thought you thought that was being loserish. >> I do. Yeah, right.
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>> [laughter] >> We just are born to be best friends.
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Me and Benny met at this Mexican restaurant, and he said, "What can you bring to the table?" And I was like, "What?"
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>> [laughter] >> I thought he's so sweet and he's so himself, and he told me a story that lasted 40 minutes.
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The story was about me pooping my pants. >> Yeah.
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And you chose that because >> It's my funniest best story.
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>> [laughter] >> What was your favorite thing about Benny and Selena's wedding? Dave officiated. >> Just see Benny break.
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When Selena when the curtain got revealed and she his face was like >> [laughter] >> Benny, Dave, Kristen, welcome to On Purpose. >> Hey, Jay. Hi.
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>> [laughter] >> Benny, come on. Come on. Hey! Did you know what?
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This is the first time we've had three people on the show together. First ever time. >> Did you know that?
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This is the first time someone has come on their own with their fiance, then wife, and now with their best friends. >> Yeah.
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So, we've never done that before, either. >> Mhm.
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I'm breaking all sorts of You're breaking all sorts of records.
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You're competing with Michelle Obama, who's been on the show twice.
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You've been on three times. This is your third time.
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So, Dave, I'm a huge fan. Thank you. >> Always have been.
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I told you that the first time I met you.
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I I I've known you for maybe under a year, but I love you. Oh, thank you.
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>> It's been ever since I've met you, I've loved you.
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>> Wow, I appreciate that.
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>> Notice how he doesn't say it back. >> I know he loves me.
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But but I said it already.
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I said it to He doesn't say it. He did.
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I was caught up [laughter] in the house. It's very hard. Very hard to look.
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And Kristen, I've become a huge fan of you. I can't believe that. I'm glad.
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>> [laughter] >> We're here.
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>> I'm glad that you still like me.
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But honestly, you guys, this is awesome.
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It's so great to have all three of you in the room.
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I I actually want to know how you all three met, cuz I've no idea.
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I don't think I've ever asked you that before.
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Well, >> [sighs] >> I I guess I'm the glue between the two of the three. You know, I met Benny.
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He basically from the day I put any music out, he actually the first day I released anything he tweeted like something positive about me. >> Wow.
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>> Yeah, so he like it was you know, one of the first day to have a guy like him reach out.
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And then I yeah, I like said something we like kind of communicated back and forth a little bit and then we almost saw each other one of my concerts we didn't really hang out and then I don't the first time we met No, we don't know.
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>> We don't know for sure when the very first we can't place it.
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My memory of like the first real memory I have is we met at this Mexican restaurant and I think he was maybe trying to sign me or maybe just trying to explain the value that he could add to my life and my career.
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And I really didn't see any value added potential.
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[laughter] That's what he said. >> It was like a date.
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>> Did he say that to him on Yeah, he said He said what what can you bring to the table? And I was like, what?
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[laughter] That was like his first thing he said to me.
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Now in hindsight I was totally wrong. Yeah.
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What can I bring to the table? >> everything.
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>> Best friend, [laughter] all of your night life.
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So how did you win him over?
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How did you win him over?
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How did you win him over?
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Just proof in the pudding I think.
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>> Yeah, I think it was instant.
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>> Also, independent of our respective talents merging and being able to add to each other's talent careers, we would be best friends if we were like in Arkansas and we both were plumbers. You know what I mean?
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Like we just are born to be best friends.
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And then I met Kristen years later and then they met because >> Wait, wait, wait, I want to know Yeah, yeah, don't just I wasn't laughing I was just I thought that was a good detail.
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I wasn't >> You tell the story.
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I met Kristen years later uh bowling alley a writer on my TV show Vanessa kind of set us up and Kristen didn't know that I was going to more or less scout me. scout her.
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>> being scouted that night. >> No, not for the show. >> No.
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Like as a romantic partner. Wow.
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I always told Vanessa cuz I love this woman Vanessa who's one of the main writers on my show and she's a great person.
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I always said, "Keep it."
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Cuz I was just a hopeless romantic single guy for like a decade.
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And I would say, "Don't you have any friends? Don't you know anybody?"
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And then she would say, "Yeah, I'm looking around."
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And then Kristen had been in a relationship for pretty much her whole life, and then she kind of got single for like a 3-week period, and then Vanessa was bowling with her, and she realized, "Oh my god, Dave."
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And then she texted me while she was at the alley being like, "Hey, I don't know what you're doing." It was like 10:00 p. m.
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And she was like, "I don't know what you're doing, but I'm with someone who might be your wife."
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And I dropped everything I was doing and immediately went over there late, joined them late.
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They were already done bowling by the time I got there.
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So, I got to take everyone's turn.
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And then we just started talking about nachos.
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Didn't you bowl a strike?
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I bowled I bowled a strike.
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First thing I did, I bowled a strike.
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Like that was my first How did you pull that off?
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I just I'm a good athlete. I'm a level athlete.
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>> Oh, you didn't see it? >> see it.
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So, I I think I was doing my own thing, chatting up the group.
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Yeah, she was doing her own thing.
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That That we started talking about uh I remember one of the first things I said to her were like, "What are those?"
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And I pointed to a plate of nachos, and she said, "Those are nachos."
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And I said, "I know, I'm just making small talk." I like that.
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I thought that was such a good like intro. Yeah.
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And that was his first intro?
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Like it was Yeah, I mean he sat down next to me and said, "What are those?"
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And I liked that he was like, "I'm just making small talk."
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I feel like it was like the intro into his personality. >> And you were trying. That was Oh, yeah. Were you trying? Oh, yeah.
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Instantly I saw her, and I was like, "Oh my god, Vanessa, good call."
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>> Well, no, you said you didn't like it cuz I was wearing glasses.
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>> it wasn't love at first sight.
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I was going to ask, was it an instant connection for both of >> Because she was wearing these big glasses.
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So, I couldn't see her face.
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Yeah, she doesn't often wear glasses.
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I was going through a lot, and I was wearing the same clothes for like 2 weeks straight, and this is my first venture out. >> Yeah.
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Not shades, like No, they were like because it was I think I drove there Yeah, I I drove me home.
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Cuz she was She never lives in Venice or lived in Venice, and I was living in Venice, and she happened to be staying in an Airbnb for that week in Venice, so it only made sense for me to be like, "Can I get a ride home?"
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So, then I had like an extra 40-minute ride where we just talked.
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No, he he told me a story that lasted 40 minutes. >> Really? What was the story?
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I thought he's so sweet and he's so himself and I was like I was really happy to I felt like you had such an ease to you that was rare.
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Like you were really willing to be like um vulnerable.
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But I also was like the story's very long.
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The story was about me pooping my pants. >> Yeah.
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And you chose that because >> my funniest best story.
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But it was like him talking the entire the entire ride. >> it before? >> a 15-minute story.
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And I was like, "Yeah, I've said it so many times."
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And then ironically, I believe that you guys probably met for the first time at a bowling alley because Remember right before Remember for my TV show premiere season 1, I had all my friends come in from out of town and we all met at the bowling alley the one time and Kristen was there and I was like "Don't make it that like don't say anything that I don't want you to say." Remember that? Uh maybe.
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I remember two [laughter] I remember two times specifically.
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I remember once like in the very beginning of the relationship.
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I remember once after your actual premiere and we like all walked up to the house. >> yeah, yeah.
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I remember that time and I remember like in in that time being like, "This girl's really cool."
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I was like like nothing not thinking like What was your first impression when he's like "Meet my girlfriend."
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>> No, no, no, no, they was not his girlfriend.
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It was a girl he was like No.
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No, so then In my mind I was his girlfriend.
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>> In in your mind it was official.
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Now you find This is the first time you find out about it.
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And then the turning point really in their relationship I think was that night at like our birthday party.
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That was like That was I remember it so clearly. Let I do I do.
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What it was for you, Kristen?
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Uh You remember it differently. >> It's a bad memory.
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It was a It was a It wasn't the best You weren't the You weren't like exhibiting the best behavior.
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>> No, I was lashing out.
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Do you want to hear what happened, Jay? >> Please.
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I do want to hear what happened. Thank you.
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So, we It was We met in like January 31st.
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We had our birthday party like 6 weeks later.
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We have joint birthday parties every year.
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And look, what I'm about to say is pathetic, but they really were like the Super Bowl of like being a single man. >> Right.
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I I never would even have a I would never would even throw myself a birthday party if it weren't for Benny.
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So, now all of a sudden every year I'm having like the most upscale birthday parties planned by him completely where all these people and women come >> and they know it's like my [laughter] party and like so there's just this built-in icebreaker where like people want to come up to me and talk to me.
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And I just had this feeling that we were going to start dating.
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And I you know, if you know me, you know that I have trouble like wrapping my head around uh not necessarily commitment, but just like I'm a turn over every stone kind of guy in everything I do.
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And it really >> The stone was here.
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There's nothing else to turn over.
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Now, as I continue to tell this story, I want you to know that I'm ashamed of my behavior.
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This is not something that I'm proud of.
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But, I think I just knew that we were going to end up dating.
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And but it was too early to be Like I didn't have to commit yet, to be quite honest, which is a really misogynistic thing to say.
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And I knew that I didn't have to commit, and I also knew my days were numbered of of having romantic freedom because I felt like I was about to be totally in a committed relationship.
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And I think I don't know.
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I just kind of like overreacted and but for whatever reason I went into the night being like I'm not committed to Kristen tonight.
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We're not I'm not necessarily going home with Kristen tonight.
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I'm going to do my own thing.
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>> But, can I cuz I cuz I didn't do You're making it seem like I went in there being like we have to be we're married.
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>> No, she didn't do anything.
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I'd like to hear Kristen. Yeah, please.
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went in there with like I think there was like seven of girl friends of mine, and I played it so Like I don't like to play it cool.
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It's very hard for me to play it cool.
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I'm glad that Benny thought I was cool when he first met me, but that's not me.
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Um and so I was like, "Okay, well, this is fun. I like a party.
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I'm just going to be like free and not expect anything from him."
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So, I didn't all night and then as the night came to an end, it was kind of like, well, we all know the expectation that we're going to like hang out. We haven't hung out yet.
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And he just had such a like um you had such a I knew exactly what he was doing.
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Like I could sense what he was doing and then I think I was like, "Well, this is lame."
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And then it got into a little bit of a like I would say at the end a flirt battle.
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>> like to interject [laughter] here.
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I'd I'd like to I'd like I'd like to interject She started talking to other guys and I was like, "Okay."
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>> I'd like to interject at this [laughter] moment.
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There was a flirt battle going on back and forth and it was like so strange.
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It was like yeah, it was like so strange and and childish in the moment.
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It's like a scene of a movie. >> Yeah.
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And we were in such a small area cuz now it was like the after party.
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It was like such a like it was like 50 people total and I remember going to the bathroom.
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There was like a communal bathroom you go into and I was like with Dave and and we were drunk and and he was just like What did he say?
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He was talking about how this was like one of the best nights of his life and he was like, "No, Was this the first time you're hearing this story?"
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>> Well, I sometimes I forget the details.
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>> It was like it was a sad time.
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Basically >> He was >> that sad.
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It wasn't that sad at all.
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In the moment, she was talking about like leaving and like before we went in the bathroom and she was like visibly upset at this. She was about to leave.
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She might have even have just just walked out. Yeah, she did. And I was like, "Okay."
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There was like maybe You didn't run after her.
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I don't remember if there was tears or anything, but >> and no one saw them, so that's that's the tidbit that I'm providing.
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So, she walks out and I remember talking to Dave and I was like, "Dave, I was like, what are you doing?"
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I was like, "She's so cool, she's beautiful."
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And I would And And yeah, it was like his sentiment was kind of like the what he was saying where he's like, "What if there's more Like, I'm so Like, he was like, "I'm about to >> is all the only more [laughter] >> No, no.
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That That was Everything he just said was the subtext, but really all you said I remember specifically you were like, "I don't know."
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You were like, "I kind of like Battle Luka."
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Yeah, that's >> that's all he had to say.
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That's Kristen's last name again.
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Yeah, and then at the end I was like I was like, "I don't know."
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I was like I was like, "I don't know, Chuck.
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Like, I really I like Battle Luka."
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And then And then I called her.
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And then he called her and then >> foot in the car." >> Yeah. And then she came back. >> out of a movie.
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>> And then we never split up for What What was it for you that went, "This is it.
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No more stones to be turned over."
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Like, I'm not the kind of guy that did what I had said I just did at the thing.
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So, I just felt a little bit bad about I'm just not that guy and I don't It's like what What am I looking for someone else when I have such a great person who wants to hang out with me.
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Now, at that point I don't think either one of us necessarily knew we were going to get married.
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I don't think you knew we were going to get married 6 weeks in.
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Remember I think at the first thing I said like on our second date I was like, "Is this a dead end?" Well, yeah.
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So, I was I was angling for marriage. >> Mhm.
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So, our second date she said is this a She [laughter] said is this a dead end. This is second date.
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If us not getting married is a dead end, it's totally possible that this is a dead end, but if you're saying it's a dead end if we aren't actually married, I can't answer that question.
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>> Because it's a second date. Exactly.
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But, Kristen, from your side like you're angling for marriage on the second date.
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Like, you're really clear about what you want. >> Yeah. Yeah.
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A, what's making it clear that this is the guy you want to be with, and B, what's making you confident to be so clear about what you want because I think so many people who listen to the show, I know they actually feel quite scared >> Yeah.
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on their second date to actually be honest about what they're looking for.
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for. Well, I went into it being like I was 30 and I'd come out of a long relationship and I felt like like I had this whole narrative in my head which I think the narrative is true that it's like why should women have to kind of play like this game of let them chase you or like I feel like they're so often even with my friends like even with Dave
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they'd be like don't be too aggressive like don't because I very much always just said what I wanted which was like I like taking out with you let's hang out again and I felt like I didn't want to waste time like letting him drive the relationship so I just thought I it's better off that I figure out if we're a bad fit than like let it go too long. Also I'm only getting older and
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Also I'm only getting older and It is remarkable how infrequently I went on a lot of dates.
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I dated a lot of people over a 10-year not really any seriously but I went on a lot of dates and it's very rare that I was held accountable and like you know where I feel like often times there are games that are played that that are totally predisposed to advantage the man and I was very much down to lean into that because it advantaged me. I was ready to debate.
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Like I was I was like waiting for him to be like yeah like here are all the reasons why it like why I'm not ready or whatever and then I kind of always came into the situation like we were always able to talk about it.
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Like you would be overwhelmed with like your work and you thought that because if you're dating somebody that means that you can't work and have like a career.
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So I was always up for the debate.
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Do you want to chime in Benny?
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I just think I think >> [laughter] >> no I was thinking about it cuz it's like I think we're actually in a time where like I think it's sexy when a woman does that.
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Like when like when Selena was doing that to me like she was just like her like very much you know >> talk about it so that I we would I'd be like you have to go for these you have to go after them.
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Yeah and and it made me like it made me be like woah. Like it was like cool. It's like cool.
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I was like oh my god yeah I want like cuz you know Dave was saying like you know you know sometimes when you're dating someone they might not want to say something to rock the boat and like I love when Selena would turn over it'd be 3:00 in the morning and we were dating for like 3 weeks and she'd be like well what are we? And I was like what?
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[laughter] And then she was like well when I go to New York this weekend what am I going to tell people we are?
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And I was like it like she like caught me so off guard.
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It's cool to have that dynamic where like both person both people are like on that same level and I think I I do see it like I feel like I do cuz a lot of my friends are like that where I see women starting to do that a lot more now and I think it's I think it's cool.
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Like I think it shows like such a confidence.
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Like you know some people look at it like some of my friends look at it like oh like that's so needy or that's so I'm like that's a person telling you exactly what they want.
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Like I don't want to play these games like and when you're when hate to be needy.
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Like I think it's okay to just exist exactly how you are and if you Selena will say that in the morning she'll say like she'll be like today's a needy day.
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And she'll be and and it what when you are with someone who can because it's so hard when you're trying to play a guessing game.
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Like when you're trying to talk with your partner who doesn't express themselves it's so difficult to meet them in the right place and then they're like harboring all this resentment.
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But yeah like Selena will wake up in the morning and she'll say okay today's like a needy day.
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I need you to be like extra nice to me extra gentle and then you are set up for success.
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I should say on behalf of Dave like I did trust my instincts which was that I could tell that Dave like I knew who he was as a person and I knew it was just his anxieties that were kind of like overriding this entire situation.
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It wasn't like I was like totally shooting in the dark. Totally.
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When I look back on it like it is crazy to me that and now that I know her and everything that I wasn't after the first day, week, whatever being like, "Oh my god, that's the person I'm going to" Like, to me it's so obvious like that she is my soulmate.
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And the only only reason I wasn't But, truly, the only reason I didn't see it was because of my own anxieties wouldn't even allow me to see it.
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Cuz as soon as we started spending more time together, I was like she's the funniest, most beautiful, perfect I couldn't even believe that I was it was a debate.
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And what I said to myself, I said I always I feel like I was in a lot of relationships where I didn't always feel like I was the one that like chased or I had like all of the agency and I would after my last relationship before Dave, I was like, "I want to chase the person I marry and I want to be the one that's like choosing."
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Cuz so often you kind of I don't know.
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I I felt like so so many of my past relationships were more like Mhm.
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You know, like you're I don't >> being pursued.
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Yeah, or something or like it's just easier to stay, whatever, than go.
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So, with Dave, well, before Dave, I was like, "I want to like chase my husband.
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Like, I want to be like I really know that I want this, not like this is easy."
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But, I feel like it set you them up for such success cuz when I look at them, there couldn't be more even in a relation like I feel like that's when a relationship wins.
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Like, no person has the upper hand in the relationship.
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There's no like bat like there's like funny like banter back and forth and I love that, but it's like they truly like watching both of them, they truly want each other to win.
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And and then that's when I feel like that's when the relationship works.
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I've been in relationships where the person is secretly like >> competitive.
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Yeah, they're like competitive.
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Or I've been in relationships where something good happens to me and I'm keeping it from the person because I'm scared or like I I had a time where like I like won some big award and I went into a closet to answer the call and be excited because I was too scared.
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And like that's like the worst type of relationship to be in.
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Like, I want to be in a relationship where like my partner is like cares more about like they they like feel like they care more about you than their own thing and you feel that way too and you guys are just like the ultimate cheerleader for each other.
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>> Well, you guys I mean what's amazing though is that you guys are living the dream because you guys are best friends.
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And then your wife and your best friend are really great friends and that's so special and the fact that you guys used to your birthdays together.
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The fact that you also got married in the same year. Yeah, same month apart.
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Same month apart and she's so close to Selena, too. It's been it's perfect. I'm so happy it worked.
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Like you know when you know when one of your friends date someone that you're like and like and you never [laughter] it's crazy. >> done?
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What would you have done?
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>> god, I've been that guy.
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I've dated someone where my friend I've dated multiple people where I mean one time I I broke up with the person I was with and my friends wanted to throw me a party.
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Like and I said I said well, why didn't anyone tell me when I was in it and they said well, what are we supposed to tell you?
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They said we made we made gestures and and and Yeah. >> Yeah.
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Dave, have you ever made gestures to Benny in that way?
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No, I wouldn't uh He has. Slightly. In his own way.
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Not as blunt as someone >> it real.
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If anyone's be I I don't care who you are.
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If anyone's behave I just like to speak about the facts at hand.
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So, I always He's a fact based I'm a helping hand with anyone who wants to analyze the facts at hand.
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But, you know, love is a particular thing that sometimes transcends fact.
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So, pretty good, right, Chad? That's beautiful.
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>> [laughter] >> That's why you got to tell them something there. I was like, "What?" That is beautiful.
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I get what you're saying.
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It's like when you when you know someone you have a friend and they're like really into this person. >> Yeah.
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You're kind of like, "Well, maybe there's a part of that I don't want to mess up cuz they see something I don't see."
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>> not your place necessarily to be like, you know, you I know you love this person, but just so you know Yeah. You shouldn't.
20:59
Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
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[laughter] What What was it like though going from those parties to actually getting married a month apart?
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Like to be at each other's weddings? High level partying. High-level partying. >> No, stressful. We were so tired.
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I feel like we were all really tired. I was really tired. >> it.
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I mean, I really enjoyed it.
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To me, I was like our wedding was the best night of our lives and it was so great and I just remember being so happy that I had his wedding.
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Like I was like, "And the fun isn't done."
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And I remember telling I said to her I said, "We should really try to have as much fun as possible because nights don't always have this upside potential of how fun a night can be the way and like we just had the most like very rarely do you go into a night where it has the potential to be the most fun night of your life and our wedding, of course, had that potential.
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It felt so good when it actually was.
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Like you know, I would have called a fact a fact if it was in any way shorter than I would have especially cuz we're paying all this god damn money. But it really was.
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>> Yeah, it was the best night.
21:54
>> so perfect and then I just remember being so excited for his and his was perfect and And we had the bachelor between.
21:59
No, we had like we had it was like we kept saying that we're like kicking off like it was our wedding and then we had in between our wedding and their wedding, we each separately went on like, you know, I went to like Selena's and Dave went to Benny's and then we had then we had the wedding.
22:11
So it was like a fun 2 months.
22:13
Kristen, what was your favorite thing about Benny and Selena's wedding? Probably the vows.
22:20
It's so like watching your close friends get married and like hearing that what?
22:24
No, no, I was thinking remembering how his his face moved when he would cry.
22:26
I mean, I couldn't see anything cuz I was behind a pole, but I heard the vows.
22:31
>> didn't get like preferred seating or anything like that?
22:33
I did get the front row seat, but I I didn't know if people were going to sit between me and Benny's family, so I like sat all the way to the side.
22:40
She just had she had she had an architectural issue.
22:44
>> [laughter] >> Blocking her.
22:44
But that was the best part.
22:46
>> Tell us about the vows.
22:46
The vows were so good and I think well, and Dave officiated, which I also obviously enjoyed.
22:51
I just loved hearing it's like it was nice to kind of hear them be serious.
22:57
Like you're not it's so rare that you're going to like hear your friends, you know, say their love is like what they're doing in your vows. You know.
23:07
Especially okay, so my perspective by the way I couldn't have a better view like they're like I'm like right there and they're right here. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:13
And so >> Cuz you officiated. Yeah. So >> done one before? >> No. Wow.
23:18
>> never even given a best man speech so like the whole thing and then it's also such a tricky cuz like on the I'm almost giving a best man speech but it's also right there at the altar so you can't even do certain >> things. >> Yeah.
23:30
There was a lot of pressure but I really felt born for that moment.
23:31
really felt born for that moment. And it was really look Selena like when the curtain went away and it was her and she started she like literally I I'm loath to say that she looked like a princess but she just looked like a fairy tale like
23:49
The sun that it was like the most amazing the sun like was setting setting behind her and they had like these beautiful tents so when she this is what I did see a little bit up when she was like walking it was like [laughter] it was like majestic. >> Yeah and like you know she pulls out
24:01
>> Yeah and like you know she pulls out this like I don't even this Handwritten >> this hand this book of scriptures or that is like her vows that were like written by hand that she like lost 5 days earlier that Benny had she like wrote her vows for like a year and then she lost them like right before the wedding.
24:17
>> And then Benny found it she like pulled it like >> Double point. >> Yeah.
24:20
You found it on the day and she thought she lost it on the day. >> days before.
24:23
But like her vows are just like you know and and then Benny like you know obviously Benny has a high level of emotional capacity and sensitivity but he's definitely a joker.
24:32
And to see him just break like and become just a shell of a man. Wow.
24:42
>> Like his face like is I've never like when Selena when the curtain got revealed and she his face was like >> [laughter] >> Cuz I was trying not to okay.
24:52
So when we did the first look I was like, oh.
24:58
Oh, that that this is easy. I'm not even crying.
25:00
But when she came out to the music, my face I was like, I'm not ready to cry this early.
25:07
So I was like I was like Yeah.
25:09
Like [laughter] I can't even do it.
25:11
I was like I recently watched the video back and it's insane.
25:15
>> to have see someone's face so often and then realize you've never seen their face do a certain thing is a weird feeling to feel. >> That's amazing. That's amazing. I'm never nervous.
25:23
And I was before it happened.
25:26
I all of a sudden got so nervous.
25:29
And like 10 times I was like, should I have them print mine out bigger? Should I do it small?
25:32
And like I asked them all these questions.
25:34
And then >> He made me walk out to like everyone's seated.
25:38
Thinking the thing's about to start and he made me walk out alone like down the aisle essentially and like double check and he had multiple printouts of the thing [laughter] already sitting up there.
25:49
>> I remember being so nervous.
25:52
And then for some reason the second I turned into the room everything melted away and it was like I wasn't nervous at all anymore.
25:59
And it was it it was so cool to see.
26:02
Theirs was like train >> going to ask you >> Yeah, theirs was like training and theirs was I I really can't stress this it was the best wedding I'd ever been to in my life.
26:14
I think also it's because it's like the people like I care about I've never like I cried so much at their wedding.
26:20
During their vows I was bawling.
26:22
And you think about your friends but then like to see them do this thing that's so like final.
26:32
It was so And they're both so well spoken and funny but also serious and like yeah, I don't usually see Dave serious.
26:39
I never see Kristen serious.
26:41
Like we're all those people who kind of like make like I'll probably be laughing at like my friend's funeral like cuz I like can't like it's it's it's it's like a coping mechanism.
26:49
And to watch them do that was so fun, and everything was perfect.
26:56
And I there we Their wedding was one of the best weekends of my life.
27:00
And then I was like, "Oh my god, I have my own to look forward to."
27:02
And I had that feeling where I was so scared that mine wasn't going to live up to what it was in my head, and it was so far beyond what like the only thing I didn't like is um cocktail hour, cuz I kept having to say hi to everyone.
27:18
I said, "Am I going to be doing this the whole night?"
27:20
I I tried to get you to do the thing.
27:22
You didn't want to do it. >> No, we did do it. They did.
27:25
>> We did do it, and they didn't like it. What was the thing?
27:28
We took We should have We basically went Dave and I like had to go to the bathroom.
27:31
So, we before Benny and Selina had seen their wedding >> It was while no one even knew about this.
27:37
Did you do the Like were they They take you into the reception before the the guests come?
27:41
They pluck you from cocktail hour 5 minutes early, take you to where the band is and where dinner is, and they like let you see it all. Yeah.
27:50
The band is playing just for you, and it was like our favorite part of our wedding.
27:53
And then we had to go to the bathroom, so we went into Benny and Selina's before they had seen it, and we were like, "Oh my god, this is incredible. They have to see it."
28:00
So, we were like, "Should we pull them away?"
28:04
And pulling them away was like It was so hard.
28:07
Like I thought, "You know what?
28:07
I felt like they were being bombarded.
28:11
They were And I was just like they're miss They're only going to The tenting that their thing was the most beautiful tent."
28:16
>> Oh, and you never got to see it empty.
28:17
>> they didn't see not empty.
28:17
But they But I But I made them do it.
28:19
I I was just like I just had this instinct that I knew better and and that they didn't know.
28:25
>> What was your wedding like?
28:25
Gosh, it was like >> Do I remember this correctly?
28:27
Was yours like some sort of thing like outside near like a brick like >> No, no, no.
28:32
That was just our photo shoot.
28:34
That was just our photo shoot afterwards.
28:37
This year's our 10-year wedding anniversary.
28:38
I was going to say, when did you get married? 10 years, yeah. 10 years.
28:40
Oh, actually, I don't care about your wedding.
28:42
I want to know I want to know this.
28:43
This is my real question. My real Yeah.
28:47
>> [laughter] >> Yeah, I have a question for you. I have a question.
28:50
>> I have many more questions. Go on. I got one question. >> you ask one question. >> I have one question. >> question.
28:56
He's got to think of the question first.
28:57
>> no, no, no, [laughter] no.
28:57
It's such a good question.
28:59
I just want to word it the right way.
29:03
Okay, you're 10 years in. Mhm. Tune in by Jay. >> [laughter] >> Okay. >> my wife. You're 10 years in.
29:09
What have you learned in this time that you that you thought you knew when it was 10 years before and what do you want like the next 10 years to be like? Yeah. Two questions. >> Good question. Good question. I'll only answer one.
29:24
It's similar to the way you're even talking about each other.
29:25
I feel like you think you love your partner the most you could love them on your wedding day.
29:32
And then you realize you had no idea how much you could love them.
29:35
Like 10 years on, it's just like I thought I loved my wife like the most I could ever love her.
29:42
And then you actually go through life, you go through challenges, you go through ups and downs.
29:44
We We got married, changed jobs, moved country, and moved home all in the same year. Wow.
29:51
And so like we went through so much, and I feel like that could either break you or make you closer.
29:55
And for us, it just brought us closer.
29:57
Then the pandemic, we were stuck together every day, and it brought us closer.
30:01
And I think that could have been a So I feel like when you've been through so much life together, you just have so much proof that you love each other through so many different versions of each other.
30:09
And I think that's the other thing that I feel like I've been love with a different person in 10 years because my wife has been so many different versions of herself.
30:20
She'll probably say I've been pretty much the same, but I feel [laughter] I feel like I feel like she has changed so many times in beautiful ways. >> Yeah.
30:27
And so you're learning to fall in love again.
30:29
So this idea of oh, I know your every move, and I know everything about you.
30:33
It's like I actually don't.
30:35
And I feel like I'm constantly on my toes.
30:37
And because we end up spending a bit of time away from each other every year because of work, I feel like we're still dating, which is really fun actually.
30:45
I love the fact that we don't see each other all the time cuz then there's a sense of like I can't wait to get back to you.
30:50
So We see each other too much now. all day, every day.
30:54
>> Well, not too much for me, Jay. Never too much for me.
30:56
>> I I Yeah, I was like I was trying to convince my wife to do a reality show with me cuz I was like I just want to be with you all day long.
31:00
Like that would be my dream.
31:01
She's like we're never doing a reality [laughter] TV show. I'm like all right then.
31:05
I get Yeah, yeah, thank you.
31:08
I don't know who else would because there wouldn't be much drama.
31:11
We'd have to create some drama.
31:11
Like you'd have to find ways.
31:12
I'd have to in- invite drama maybe.
31:15
>> We can give you some ideas.
31:17
>> [laughter] >> But did you guys ever think like we're here to talk about Friends Keep Secrets, the show not a podcast, not a live stream?
31:25
Did you ever believe that you guys would be doing a show together? I think it makes sense.
31:31
>> Ever, yes, cuz we I I would I don't think we saw I didn't necessarily see it coming, but it really kind of was this perfect storm of things happening at the right time and like Kristen was very she was always even as I was making Dave in my just always on Tik Tok and always being like there's something that's so rewarding about real human behavior.
31:51
And she was always kind of on the forefront of knowing that consumption patterns are really changing.
32:00
And that was something that I I I really respect her opinion about a lot of things and that was something that was in my head and separately me and Benny had kind of just flirted with the idea of a podcast for years, but I never really saw it as a thing that I wanted to do. And >> What changed?
32:15
>> What changed? I think one day I was like, but what if like we like rigged our house and what if you take the same like creativity that the two of you have and you try to change what this is versus trying to like fit the mold of what everything else is and
32:29
I feel like that's when you were and I think Benny like separately had the same idea cuz we all got on the phone and he was like, yeah, we can literally like he was like I was so I I just think it was a perfect storm for you to be like oh this is exciting. >> Once I started thinking about the
32:41
>> Once I started thinking about the potential to reinvent things and make things different, then I got really excited about it.
32:47
And then only when we started doing it did I did I really like fall in love with everything because I say this to them all the time.
32:56
My me even going for it as a comedic presence only happened because I was trying to entertain my friends and be like the funny guy to my friends.
33:04
And that is my when I am the happiest.
33:05
When I'm around my best friends and I'm like seeking the joke and trying to make them laugh. And then I went for it.
33:10
I tried you know I became a comedian made my show Dave and like a show like Dave it requires so much like hard work. >> I believe it. It's a great show.
33:20
And like everything that seems like it's all so fun and light and like the amount of brain power that goes into executing it is so next level that actually making the show Dave can be torturous. Mhm.
33:34
Whereas as soon as we started doing this, I've never had more It's just like I was the inner child in me was like now having fun with my best friends again.
33:42
And then even seeing the footage of it and understanding how it all was working to me I think back to Kristen's original thesis there's nothing more compelling.
33:53
I think COVID actually caused this because the shows stopped being made and people were just at home and then TikTok was blowing up and we were just seeing over and over again human beings being themselves and being really entertaining and fun to watch.
34:04
And so I think at the end of the day things are only as good as the the characters that that are there. Mhm.
34:10
And we're just being ourselves.
34:12
And there really is nothing pure than like having a great time with your best friends.
34:17
And it's all everything that's happening is so real and organic and like there like the amount of hard laughs that are happening with all three of us as we're filming it is I've been talking for a long time.
34:28
>> [laughter] >> I'm realizing >> it's making a lot of It was resonating.
34:31
I didn't realize how long I've been talking.
34:32
No, I hear I allow for that space on the show because Yeah, he allows. Okay.
34:35
I still remember the first call when you called me up and I was like, "I think me and you know, me and Dave and Kristen want to start this show."
34:42
And in my head I was like, "Oh, great.
34:43
You know, we'll put some microphones down. We're going to sit down.
34:47
It'll be another interview show.
34:48
You guys will have great guests."
34:51
And then as these things evolved, I was just like, your guys' creative vision, the way you're shifting up the industry, the way this show is going to change the way people think about what a podcast is, what an interview is, it's amazing.
35:02
And and honestly, it's been such a joy like seeing you guys putting in the work, putting in the hustle.
35:08
But also, the most important thing is I feel like whenever I've seen you I I I got to walk into one of your episodes when I was coming to do a photo shoot.
35:16
>> But then I just got to walk into an episode, which is insane. >> Yeah.
35:19
And and I'm like, I couldn't believe just how crazy, real, authentic, and and you know, people throw those words around.
35:25
And so I don't even like using those words cuz nowadays everyone's like, "Oh, it's so authentic. It's so this." It's not even that. It's just is what it is.
35:33
Like it is just three friends >> even know what's coming.
35:36
We're getting these random conversations and arguments that are become so passionate that I feel like anyone watching a group of anyone in their own group of friends is able to relate to like it's really just us kind of living and existing and it's a fly-on-the-wall observation of that.
35:51
>> I think what's fascinating about it on a on a more thoughtful level is one of the things I'm trying to do with the work I'm that we're putting out there in the world is trying to make people feel less alone. Mhm.
35:58
And and I feel like this show makes people feel less alone.
36:00
She always says there's a loneliness uh epidemic. >> epidemic. Well, cuz there is.
36:06
But I felt like I realized I do think after COVID like all of our social lives have slowed down or if they haven't, there was like there was definitely like a period where socializing beyond the anxiety of like COVID kind of create there was like a learning curve to kind of get back into it and putting yourself out there.
36:24
And I really resonate with like TikTok.
36:26
and it's not like I love watching people in like Michigan or like random state, you know, like home videos essentially of like people hanging out and I feel like one cool thing about us is I mean especially Benny not Dave is cool but like I feel like when we met Benny you were such a good host.
36:43
You always like have us over and like we have so much fun and we meet new people and I think we now have the opportunity to like bring people into that experience which is what I like on Tik Tok. I'll tell you something.
36:57
I was I was with my friend the other day and we were hanging out and he was he like just went through a breakup.
37:03
You know, I don't ever watch myself back.
37:07
I'm not like a guy that does that.
37:07
I don't like once it's there it's there.
37:09
I like I'll ask my manager.
37:11
I'll say, "Hey, did I say something stupid?"
37:13
And they'll be like, "Ah, this was stupid."
37:16
And I'll say, "Okay, take it out."
37:16
Like I'm not like a I don't want to I can't do that in any like I don't want to look at a magazine.
37:23
I don't want to do any of that.
37:24
But my friend wasn't feeling great and I said, "Let me put on an episode of of our new show."
37:32
And I put it on and at first he's like staring at it and he's laughing uncontrollably and he's like just like following along to everything and it got to the point where we started having our normal conversation and it's just playing in the background and it's just like it just we were like in it but then we'd go do our own thing and
37:56
then we'd come back to it and we're like it was so cool to have it's like a constant friend in the corner and it was like whenever there was like a lull in the conversation we would just start watching the the thing again and it was and it and we were laughing and we would like pause it then talk about like our own stories. We're like, "Oh my god,
38:14
We're like, "Oh my god, that reminds me of and to me I feel like we live in a world where there's constantly so much static and noise of like not great things and I feel like there's a way to put something good into the earth without like pushing like pushing it down people's throats like trying to do like some educational like it's it's like when we did Earth.
38:39
Like we made Earth and it had a really good sentiment behind it but it was talking about like your penis in a baboon's butt.
38:46
Like it's like like I think there's a way to do something good for the world and not take yourself so seriously and and we talk about real life on this podcast. It's not a podcast.
38:58
But um I was waiting for that day. He's thinking of you.
39:03
It's not only Yeah, it's multimedia.
39:05
Yeah, he wants to change the name to multimedia. Multimedia.
39:11
>> No one liked it but me. Yeah, right.
39:11
I It seems a bit like 90s.
39:14
>> That's what I thought.
39:15
>> [laughter] >> It's cool. It's classic, vintage. Vintage.
39:17
No one wants it though so it's still Friends Keep Secrets.
39:20
Oh, you wanted to change the name to multimedia. Yeah.
39:23
He like sent us a serious text the other day. It's amazing. I never got that text.
39:26
I just >> [laughter] >> It hadn't made it to you yet. Got shot down. It's not the right idea.
39:32
I don't think Benny replied to that text.
39:34
No, but that's what I love about what you guys can do.
39:35
Like you guys are doing something that not a lot of people can do.
39:38
You guys can have fun, be ridiculous, talk about crazy stuff and have a moral message to wrap it up with which is insane or not. >> Yeah.
39:47
And and I think that's the beautiful thing that you're making people feel close.
39:49
For you Dave, like you're working with your wife and your best friend >> Yeah. in the same space. >> Yeah.
39:53
I feel like you have the hardest job. Huh. Well.
39:55
Because that sounds >> I'm happy to hear you say that, Jay. You know, yeah.
39:58
I just wanted to empathize.
39:59
I was like take a moment to acknowledge that.
40:01
You're you're in the middle.
40:01
Like how do how does working with friends, loved ones is hard anyway. >> Yeah, Chuck. How are you Yeah, Chuck. How are you managing it?
40:11
>> Uh look, I really had no fear going into it because I just know both of them so well and I've I just feel like I I wouldn't become this close with anyone if they if the person couldn't analyze whatever facts at hand that are and talk about them fairly, logically, or whatever.
40:30
So, I'm we get in little spats and arguments all the time.
40:32
What's the roles usually? Who starts the fight? >> Oh. Who continues it? Who ends it?
40:38
>> us are equally annoying to all like Yeah.
40:40
It really varies, and all of us do different things.
40:43
>> I love but I love all of them. They're so fun. >> I just I'm sorry. No, go on.
40:48
I just I just [laughter] know that there's really no argument or moment that could ever be the type of thing that we couldn't logically talk about it and arrive at the facts at hand.
40:55
So, ultimately I have no fear.
40:57
I also have a pretty high tolerance for like understanding him, understanding her, understanding when to leave things be.
41:05
And I think all of us kind of do.
41:07
We're all so close that I don't know.
41:08
For me, it's literally like I work so hard that nothing makes me happier than getting to work so hard and hang out with my best friend and wife while doing it. Yeah.
41:17
And I think we all communicate the same way.
41:20
Like we can kind of get like revved up and get like not aggressive but passionate. >> all aggressive.
41:26
But we don't take it like I feel like we'll do it, and then like 2 seconds later we'll be like we'll be fine.
41:31
And I think that's like it's unique to kind of find people that communicate the same way that you do.
41:34
In these moments, I mean, we can definitely get on each other's nerves, but it's never like like it's never like taken personal. >> Really?
41:42
I'm never mad at any of you That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you are annoyed. You get annoyed.
41:47
>> No, but I'm never It's like what she's saying. It's like >> goes away.
41:50
No one's ever Like I can never We get revved up together.
41:53
Like Like I don't think I could ever like be like actually really angry at you guys.
41:58
Like Pat, I don't think that could ever be a thing.
42:00
We're also none of us are that type of person.
42:04
Like he's only been angry at me one time in his entire life, and the reason was we were coming home from Coachella, and he was really tired and he hadn't slept in the type of like situation he hadn't a full night's sleep in a few days and he needs a full night's sleep.
42:19
And he's getting his stuff out of the car and I'm getting myself out of the car and I kind of like like kicked his knee or something and and and >> Intentionally.
42:29
Yeah, I can't even remember.
42:31
I think you like I like was like yeah, I was like >> me from behind playfully.
42:34
Yeah, I was like pushing him like as a joke and he was like No, no, no.
42:40
No, he pushed me playfully.
42:41
>> Oh yeah, you hit your shin.
42:42
>> shin hit the like the car Yeah. and hurt so much. Oh. My shin.
42:46
And he goes, "Get off of me."
42:49
And he and he was mad and then I laughed at him.
42:51
It was he was he was angry for about 15 seconds.
42:55
>> So how do you guys make decisions then?
42:57
Uh It's a group conversation. >> Group conversation.
42:59
It can get it got it can get >> No, it gets rubbed up.
43:01
It got rubbed up the other day.
43:04
>> to bring the vote in but you she'll never insert her opinion. >> the vote.
43:07
I want us to talk it out, talk it through.
43:09
>> She likes the we we So it's a two out of three like the vote.
43:13
>> I definitely think what what I I've noticed that I do sometimes feel this isn't like a bad thing.
43:18
I can tell that I'm like a little bit more sensitive than the two of them.
43:21
Like I think it's like a guy-girl thing. Maybe not.
43:23
I don't want to make such an assumption.
43:26
But I I would say that like I would say that I am the more sensitive one of the three of us. Would you guys not?
43:32
Well, I'm not sensitive I'm not sensitive about that type of stuff.
43:34
Like I'm not sensitive like I'm crying in a movie a song Like yeah, I'm not sensitive and I don't think Dave is either.
43:42
Like if someone is just like like I want someone to tell me also in the studio all like I don't like the sugarcoat like just be if someone's just like oh like that that didn't work. Let's do this. I'm like oh great. Like let's try it again. >> like that too. I'm chill. No.
43:57
>> [laughter] >> No, you're sensitive well, you're sensitive in a different she's sensitive in a different way that I get.
44:00
Like me and Dave have been doing this we've been in the foreground putting ourselves out there for many, many years.
44:07
This is Kristen's like first thing.
44:10
This is like everyone's first impression on her is like it's not like she's like back in the day where like it would be like Michael Jackson would perform once and you'd be like, "Man, I wonder what he's like as a guy."
44:22
There was like no other media.
44:23
We're seeing like every like nook and cranny.
44:26
Like she like she'll like she'll burp or be like sweat.
44:29
Yeah, and she's so honest.
44:33
And it's so rare that you see It's funny.
44:36
I I like her and Selena I see why they're such good friends cuz it's like there's so many similarities where like I feel like sometimes like you and Selena have this thing where you're both like so brutally honest about how you're feeling and it's like it's so comedic, too. It's like funny.
44:54
It's like hard I I like can't explain it.
44:57
Yeah, like you just saying like you're sweating.
44:58
Like I feel like like most like especially cuz you guys are like so well put together I would not I'm nothing like No, no, but like Selena will say the same thing.
45:08
She'll be like, "I'm sweating and I'm having like an anxiety attack right now."
45:12
Like and I I love that about you guys and I do feel like there's also a lot of yous out there and I think like you're going to inspire people so much because I wouldn't go that No, but you wear your insecurities on your sleeve in a cool way and I like it. I I love it.
45:27
I love it how she >> that it's cool.
45:31
How does it feel for you, Kristen?
45:33
Like obviously this is a big deal.
45:34
It is the first time you're going to be >> Yeah.
45:36
This is the first interview you're doing, This is the right? I almost didn't come.
45:40
I was going to say that I had the stomach flu.
45:41
I was I was like thinking of all the And you would have known.
45:45
Well, I wouldn't have Well, you shouldn't have.
45:48
We would have had more [laughter] We would have had more room.
45:49
No, but I but I knew that um No, I actually like this interview. I'm doing fine. Yeah, yeah.
45:55
There is like a spit bubble that keeps coming to my teeth. Right. That's a little bit hot.
45:58
No one else is saying anything. Oh, yeah.
46:02
Right before we did this, she had a full thing of lipstick across her whole mouth and I told her right before. Yeah, got it off.
46:09
Has an argument ever lasted longer than the recording of one of the episodes? No. >> No.
46:13
Has anyone's butt asleep?
46:13
No, you got to reposition yourself.
46:16
>> Do you want to have a little walk around? No, no. >> You can if you want. No, I don't want to be. >> talk to these two.
46:20
>> No, I can't be the first man to ever uh >> Just reposition your butt.
46:24
>> Jay said that nobody has ever used the bathroom during an interview ever except him once. With Kevin Hart. I felt so embarrassed.
46:33
I was Yeah, I can't >> Kevin, do you mind if I use the bathroom?
46:36
And then did you use this one?
46:38
Yeah, the one back there.
46:38
You know, I always ask people.
46:39
Like, I always wonder like Do they use the bathroom?
46:43
>> No, like when like Adele is performing, like is she ever just like, "Oh my gosh, I ate something crazy like like does like like does anyone have to poop ever?"
46:54
>> best like find a routine for moments in their life, right?
46:56
Like that's how athletes play.
46:58
My stuff is always right before.
47:00
>> I have to go to the bathroom like I pee when I'm nervous, which is so nice for our podcast because I get up and go to the bathroom like I would say like four times an episode. >> well then. Not really.
47:09
It's honestly Yeah, I had to as soon as I sat down, but I've already gone. It's just nerves.
47:14
Like it's like to me it's a nerve-based thing.
47:16
It's not actually I don't know.
47:19
Chuck, do you think your pee's nerve-based?
47:20
It's not pee, but I I'm surprised at how often I'll have to poop like 30 minutes before a concert.
47:23
Oh yeah, yeah, that I can relate to that. I can relate to that. >> What is that nerves? That's all your nerves? 100% 100%.
47:30
evacuate before and when I used to like I do it before 5 minutes before going on stage.
47:35
When I was when I was younger, when I like first like really in New York like first got on the dating scene, I used to anytime I was going to have a date with a girl and she was about to come over and we were going to leave, I would like I'd have to poop like 2 minutes before.
47:53
It would happen every time until like I got really comfortable with it.
47:58
And I would And I would be I would be honest.
48:00
Like I used to use that as one of my like icebreakers or like my other >> to poop?
48:06
No, I would just like be like my other icebreaker I would say is I would say, "I don't usually do this these but what's the worst thing you've ever done in your entire life?"
48:16
And then we'd both say the worst thing we ever did in our whole life.
48:20
Then I'd be like, "Okay, now I feel like I know you and I also have blackmail on you in case like this doesn't go well."
48:26
>> How did you come up with that? Did it work? Did it break the ice?
48:28
I didn't do it with [laughter] I didn't do it with Selena. >> There you go.
48:32
I feel like you always think like I like through dating I was like, "Oh, like I met my soulmate."
48:36
Or like "Oh, I met the person I could spend the rest of my life with."
48:40
But it's so different when you actually meet the person that you are going to spend the rest of your life with.
48:46
It was such a different feeling.
48:48
And all And I like went back and I was like, "Whoa, those feelings when I was younger like that it was so different." Cuz it just clicks.
48:55
You know what I'm saying?
48:56
It clicks in a different way.
48:58
What's Selena's reaction when she sees you cry at the altar like on the wedding day?
49:02
Like what's her reaction to that?
49:05
Trying to compare it to Roddy's reaction of me crying.
49:06
I think she cried and then while it was all going on we were laughing and just like talking to each other like while everything was happening.
49:16
I've cried I've cried in front of her plenty of times. Not I'm I I cry. I cry.
49:24
I'm a I'm a little >> Pisces. I'm a little fish. Oh, you're a Pisces? >> Yeah.
49:27
Dude, that that makes sense now.
49:30
>> No, all my all my closest male friends are Pisces. >> Really? What are you? I'm a I'm a Virgo.
49:36
Oh, that's my mom is Virgo.
49:36
I'm a Virgo, but I don't really identify. I'm on the cusp.
49:40
[clears throat] I'm pretty cool I'm pretty cool.
49:42
>> my mom you do have similar Yeah, I'm very Virgo.
49:45
>> What When's your birthday? 6 September.
49:46
Have you ever had like a person on here that's an expert at all that type of stuff? >> Astrology, yes.
49:50
I had an astrology expert, Shani Nicholas, a couple of weeks ago. And that months ago.
49:53
Did that person make you feel like it's actual kind of scientific fact?
49:56
Like cuz I'm you know, whenever anyone brings up sign or anything, I want to be like, "What the are we talking like that stuff's so inconsequential."
50:03
But then there are so many times where it seems spot on.
50:07
Did that expert uh saying that it's real? You should have them on. Yeah, we should.
50:12
Yeah, that would be really cool.
50:14
I think you'd have a lot of questions, right?
50:15
[laughter] Give us a Give us a cliff notes version. Well, you go.
50:18
The cliff notes is I'm I'm kind of like you.
50:20
So, I I have an understanding of like Eastern astrology, which is very deeply scientific.
50:27
The number of astrologers that are available are non-existent now.
50:31
Like it's hard, but it does exist and I've had people tell me crazy things like predict they predicted like how many kids they would have and the first name of their partner and all that kind of stuff.
50:39
And then you have what we have today where you have horoscopes, which of course the daily horoscope you read is like kind of made up. >> Yeah.
50:46
And so it's kind of finding that balance.
50:47
Her take was there's lots of truth to it.
50:49
It's all based on the planets and how they align.
50:51
There's lots of ways of checking the system and making sure that it's valuable insight, but the amount of people that are actually doing that today are very little.
51:00
So, it's almost like there's a lot of uh Mikes, not enough real MCs, maybe. That kind of thing.
51:06
>> moved to LA, the amount of people that seem to operate off of that having so much consequence bloom like I I I feel like I'm on an island as the only guy who's like, "This isn't real." >> Yeah.
51:17
I've just got a weird pattern that all my best male friends are born in March.
51:21
Yeah, I was also born in March, Jay.
51:23
I was also We haven't had enough time yet, but I'm looking forward to it.
51:26
But seriously, my my best friend growing up was 14th of March.
51:29
My best friend who is my best man at the wedding, 16th of March.
51:33
>> My closest friend in LA is 18th of March. >> Wow.
51:36
>> Like it's just it's crazy. >> And I'm 8th of March.
51:37
Same as my sister who I'm really good friends with. 8th of March? >> Yeah.
51:41
Do Pisces and Virgos I Well, I assume so.
51:44
So so of my >> I know and Cancers really are. That's Selena's cancer. Thanks.
51:50
We got to talk to that person. >> Well, well, yeah.
51:51
Well, maybe you should have them on the show. >> We should. All right.
51:52
What I wanted to do is I wanted to play a game that we created for you.
51:55
Your show is called Friends Keep Secrets. >> Yeah.
51:58
We came up with Friends Don't Keep Secrets. Really creative. It's like, you know.
52:03
But, we played a couple's game with Benny.
52:05
So, we thought we'd play a triple's game with with you guys. Fun. I love games.
52:08
So, I'm going to give you one of these each.
52:13
We did this to Benny and Selena. Selena, there we go.
52:15
This is all about Kristen first. Cool.
52:18
>> way this works is the players will write down their partner's potential answers to questions before comparing answers.
52:24
So, this is all about Kristen.
52:24
We're both going to guess.
52:26
We're all going to guess what hopefully Kristen writes down.
52:29
And then we're going to see. >> Okay.
52:31
And then we're going to do each of you.
52:32
And you write down your answer.
52:33
>> writing down what we think Kristen is writing down. Correct. Correct.
52:34
If Kristen could change one thing about Dave, what would it be?
52:39
I always had a fear of playing this type of game. >> Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. What? Hold on. Hold on.
52:43
>> Cuz I just would feel bad about like, do I not know anything about the people that I'm so close with? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, I am confident. In your answer?
52:50
I feel like you know this answer.
52:52
>> Like, it's not like uh therapy test.
52:52
I literally say it out loud all the time. >> So, Mine's too.
52:57
>> question is, if Kristen could change one thing about Dave, what would it be?
53:00
Kristen, please reveal your answer. Read it to us. >> That he likes wine. What? I don't like wine.
53:05
No, I The one thing I would change would be that you like to drink wine. You don't like wine. Yeah.
53:10
I don't think you understand. Hold on.
53:12
Shouldn't she be No, if Kristen could change one thing about Dave, what would it be?
53:16
She would change that you would like wine.
53:18
>> That you would enjoy drinking wine.
53:19
>> that I don't like wine. >> Yeah. Correct. >> Correct. So, what did you write?
53:21
I thought this was definitely the answer.
53:25
How I chew and smack my lips when I eat. Oh. >> Mine was That.
53:29
>> going on dates or being more fun. >> [laughter] >> What? This is amazing.
53:33
Well, I think that they're all I was certain she was going to put that.
53:38
>> you I was 100% sure you were going to say that.
53:40
>> I mean, I literally say this all the time.
53:41
I say, "I wish you drank wine."
53:43
>> wine is kind of in in the same world as the being fine. Yeah, yeah.
53:48
The reason I didn't I don't write this is >> Did you think about that?
53:49
No, but you're also really good about not getting annoyed when I get annoyed with you about that.
53:54
>> But were you thinking about mine a little, too?
53:55
Well, I guess you were, cuz >> you I figured yours would be that. Yeah.
53:59
I knew what he was going to write. >> Right.
54:00
My mom has been complaining about the way that I smack my lips my whole life.
54:04
Well, you have a little bit of a problem. Yeah.
54:06
Okay, what's our next All right, okay.
54:07
So, the next one is, "What's something Benny and Kristen always side with each other on that drives Dave crazy?"
54:16
Actually, I'll just keep mine. There's two.
54:17
There's two that I actually know.
54:19
Okay, who All right, so the question was, "What's something Benny and Kristen always side with each other on that drives Dave crazy?"
54:24
Kristen, please reveal your answer. >> Okay, I have two.
54:27
The second The second one that I'm about to say, I know he'll get mad about.
54:31
>> So, you don't have to say it, then. Okay.
54:32
Well, I want I like to stir the pot. >> say both of them. Okay, one, working less.
54:36
Oh, that was >> Two, his um I'd say putting music on? No. >> Oh. No, Benny's on my side.
54:45
>> Yeah, I'm on Dave's side.
54:45
Well, I'm some what No, you're on my side.
54:46
[laughter] >> coming off nicer while texting. >> Oh, yeah.
54:50
That's what I thought it was going to be. I forgot about that.
54:51
I wrote that I can be too hands-on. Right.
54:57
>> No, I love that you're No, we don't care about that.
54:59
>> Wait, look, this is nice. This is good feedback. We love your hands-on.
55:00
No, guys, I thought you were going I thought one of you guys was going to say mine. >> bad at this game?
55:06
>> No, you No, this is good. It's a hard game. It's meant to be hard. It's meant to be hard. It's a hard game. Yeah, it should be hard.
55:11
>> We're learning new things about about each other that we didn't know.
55:12
The texting was a good guess. >> Yeah.
55:15
And the things that you the things that you think you're that people don't like you, actually they love you. >> Yeah. That's nice, Jay. Yeah. We love you, Mochi.
55:21
[clears throat] >> I love you guys. Yeah. All right.
55:22
When was the last time Kristen admitted that she was wrong?
55:30
What makes you think I'm ever wrong?
55:32
>> [laughter] >> But she >> [clears throat] >> There's too much wavering to know, cuz she'll go up and down about the right and wrong.
55:38
>> Depends on what mood I'm in.
55:38
I would say I would say I think I can't remember.
55:45
>> I'm just going to have a little Do you know it's something?
55:47
The last You can give a time frame. Yeah, I'm doing that. Yeah, good. Yeah, yeah.
55:51
Like last month, 10 years ago.
55:52
They're going to 12 years ago, 12 months ago.
55:57
I mean, [clears throat] I don't even know if I'm actually wrong.
55:59
>> [laughter] >> You could write that down if you want, Grace. I'm trying to think.
56:01
I mean, I'm so in infrequently wrong.
56:06
>> [laughter] >> I love it. I love it.
56:11
>> It's hard to catch me.
56:13
I like the thinking going on. This is good.
56:16
When was the last time she goes, "Benny, you know what? I'm wrong. I admit it."
56:19
>> Well, we filmed There was a time that we filmed something.
56:22
I just don't remember what it was.
56:23
>> if she's caught in the act on the like >> Only if I see the footage. Oh, she's Oh, yeah.
56:29
That that is that is I know, yeah.
56:31
It's just a specific argument.
56:35
Oh, there's a bunch of Yeah, there's a few Yeah.
56:37
What was I Oh, I don't know if I'm wrong.
56:39
I have to see the footage.
56:40
You saw [laughter] the footage.
56:41
Basically No, you don't even need to. It doesn't matter. I don't I'm free.
56:45
It doesn't It's too too much nuance.
56:48
>> Basically they got in an argument that Kristen was claiming that Benny kind of said something.
56:56
>> brought something up to get under her skin. Right.
56:59
And Benny was like, "You're the one who brought this thing up in the first place."
57:02
And she was like, "No, I wasn't."
57:04
And then we went into the control room and we said, "Play us back the or how we even got here."
57:07
And then we watched the footage as we're filming the thing, and Kristen did actually bring it up. She brought it up.
57:14
You see what we're talking >> [laughter] >> Yeah, he was so amazing.
57:20
>> it up, but I but but you know, No, but I get it.
57:22
I get her I get her side as well. I get her side as well. Okay, next one. We did good. All right, all right.
57:27
We're going to switch to Dave now.
57:27
So, this is all about Dave. >> Bread and butter.
57:29
Who does Dave trust most for honest feedback?
57:32
Not just in the group, in the world. Oh.
57:37
I know exactly what you're doing. What?
57:39
I think I know what you're what what is going through your head. >> Oh, yeah.
57:44
But to me, the answer is is actually pretty simple. The answer is answers. All right.
57:50
So, the question was who does Dave trust most for honest feedback? Dave, please reveal.
57:55
Benny and Kristen is the answer to that question.
57:56
Now, I know they both probably think Jack and Henry. No. >> What?
58:00
I said [laughter] What did you write?
58:02
I said me and Kristen, and then I said friends from home, but I was thinking of the joiner situation, but it wasn't it was just that he was right, so. Yeah.
58:13
Both of them, like look, Benny for music, I I no song would ever come out without having him hear it and analyze it, critique it, say it's worthy, point out whatever flaws could exist.
58:26
Kristen's the exact same thing for like TV and film.
58:28
Like any script or thing, like I really trust both of their instincts. What did you write?
58:33
I wrote his mom or me or Jeff Schaffer or Benny.
58:39
My mom told me not to be a rapper. She said [laughter] so.
58:41
Okay, so >> [clears throat] >> but I think yeah. Okay.
58:43
You're on the list, you just didn't It's those two, no question. I love that. sure.
58:47
So, we got some of it right.
58:49
Both of you are not narcissists, you didn't write yourselves right.
58:52
No, I No, I wrote myself. Oh, you did Oh, yeah.
58:54
>> [laughter] >> Okay, so you Yeah, that is she. Okay, that's good.
58:55
I knew the answer It's not being a narc, I just knew the answer. Yeah, yeah, I know. Okay, what's our next?
58:59
All right, so if you called Dave because you ran someone over, would he help you bury the body? Would he call the cops?
59:10
Or would he tell you to call the cops?
59:13
Those were the last three options.
59:13
Bury the body, call the cops, or whose fault is it? It's Dave's fault.
59:15
Wait, he No, you're saying if >> Oh, I kill I ran someone over.
59:19
>> Yeah, yeah, you ran someone over. Wait, yeah?
59:21
Yeah, and then you call these guys, and I'm saying would you tell them to Wait, wait, wait.
59:27
I I I confused [laughter] my I confused my Unless one of them did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
59:33
Sorry, if you called it Sorry, if Yes, my bad.
59:35
Thank you so much for correcting me. I was wrong.
59:38
Let this be in my statement that I admit I was wrong.
59:41
If you ran someone over and you called Dave, What's he going to tell >> Tell him what happened.
59:45
Would he help you bury the body?
59:46
Would he call the cops himself or would he tell you to disappear?
59:53
Disappear is a new new one.
59:53
I'm changing it the I'm changing it.
59:55
What if I had the opportunity to change it? Yeah.
59:56
But is it our fault though or was it accident? It's an accident.
1:00:00
Obviously you didn't do it on purpose.
1:00:04
>> What would Dave tell you to do?
1:00:04
This is This is a test of Dave's character. Yeah. >> know.
1:00:08
It's >> I like framing it that way. >> Yeah.
1:00:11
>> [laughter] >> I feel like I I know.
1:00:16
I feel like I have the black marker all over cuz I've been doodling.
1:00:20
All right, Dave, what would you do?
1:00:22
I can see yours, Dave, but I don't know. >> Dave would disappear.
1:00:23
He would tell you to You tell them to disappear.
1:00:25
I never want to see you again. Yeah. Wow. >> Wow.
1:00:29
I was kidding about the second sentence, but disappear I I I disappear. Get out of here.
1:00:33
Go go get >> I said he would analyze all the facts at hand.
1:00:36
>> That's what I would do.
1:00:38
That's a great answer based on that conversation.
1:00:39
Kristen, what did you have?
1:00:41
>> I said he would tell he would tell us to to call the cops.
1:00:42
I think at the end of the day >> he would have to analyze all the facts at hand.
1:00:46
>> Yeah, I I I Let's talk about this.
1:00:46
This is a This is the first question we've really had a So, Daniel, agree?
1:00:50
>> I definitely wouldn't bury the body Like I I I think I would talk I can't I can't get wrapped up in criminal activity like that.
1:00:58
Uh but I nor would I call the cops like like behind their back ever.
1:01:00
I think I would try to convince that person why the thing to do is just call the cops and I think you'd have to analyze all the facts >> Or disappear. Yeah, dis- disappear.
1:01:08
You would do the right thing ultimately.
1:01:11
>> Yes, but here's what I'm not willing to bury a body for you or anyone.
1:01:17
I am willing to perhaps hear of something and just pretend that I never heard of it.
1:01:23
Yeah, it's let's change the subject.
1:01:26
>> Yeah, yeah, >> [laughter] >> we're changing Yeah, we're changing the subject.
1:01:28
We're changing the subject.
1:01:28
He does You do have a lot of OCD around that subject. >> Yeah. All right. All right. Okay. We'll do We'll do Benny. We'll do Benny.
1:01:34
Couple of questions on Benny. Good stuff for Dave.
1:01:36
What's something Benny pretends doesn't bother him, but actually does?
1:01:39
He doesn't really ever pretend. Yes, he does. I don't Okay. Let me try to think. I'm going to try two.
1:01:47
I'm going to try to think of two.
1:01:50
Kristen could get this right. What is it? Or do I do mine first? >> Yes, Benny reveal.
1:01:54
Putting things in my fridge incorrectly. >> to say that.
1:01:58
Oh, that's a good option. >> going to say that.
1:02:00
>> think you pretend that that doesn't bother I do for anyone else except Kristen.
1:02:04
>> going to say I was going to say it, but I'm like you're so overtly >> That's why you didn't let me put your stuff in the fridge today. No, no, no.
1:02:07
I didn't put it in the fridge.
1:02:09
I just wanted to be taken out a little bit. All right.
1:02:14
If he puts out something musically that has the potential to go number one and it doesn't go number one he'll say to to everyone else I'm not bothered by not going number one, but I think it bothers him to not go number one, go number two. >> Yeah.
1:02:33
If number one is a chee- you know, certain songs they have no chance.
1:02:37
Certain albums they have no chance. Yeah.
1:02:38
Um so not going number one is You're saying if it's achievable.
1:02:42
You're saying if it's achie- if like if I'm going to go like if I'm going to go to 60, doesn't matter, but if I'm going to go number two one and like okay.
1:02:50
>> you don't have the expectation that a number one is within reach and you go three or two or 10 I can relate to >> you're annoyed, which I would I would say yeah. >> Yeah.
1:03:00
Um and then my other thing is uh Benny's favorite line as of this year is I don't care about anything.
1:03:06
I've never heard it Benny say anything more than I don't care about you about anything and I think uh oftentimes that he'll say that when we're talking about something that we both care about.
1:03:18
And if it seems like I want something that he doesn't want, >> Yeah.
1:03:23
he will say, "I don't care about anything." But I know he cares.
1:03:25
He just wants to stop talking about it. >> Yeah. Yeah.
1:03:29
Okay, and then I'll answer them all after. >> Good. Yeah, go on, Kristin.
1:03:32
Mine is not sticking with the plan.
1:03:34
Like with a plan or the plan, which is kind of in relation to like >> Yeah.
1:03:39
I think I don't care about anything.
1:03:40
If you I think if you if you start to feel the loss of control, instead Benny will just be like, "I don't care about anything. Doesn't matter." Yeah. Yeah. Go on, Benny. Get to defend yourself.
1:03:50
>> This thing I don't feel I don't I even understand it really. But [laughter] I don't. What do you mean?
1:03:58
It's not sticking with the plan.
1:04:00
What more do you need to understand?
1:04:02
I don't understand the context.
1:04:04
>> The I don't care about anything is like this to me.
1:04:09
When I'm having a conversation with someone, I'll just use Dave as the example.
1:04:16
When I'm talking to someone and like usually pretty quickly into a conversation, I can figure out whether this person is going to be like even receptive to like the information that I'm saying or whether I think that they're they have like something made up in their mind and like there's such a minute chance of me changing it.
1:04:36
And then I say, in my head I say, "Well, is this ever going to change?
1:04:43
Is it that important if it doesn't?"
1:04:46
And then just to nip it in the bud, I'll be like, "I don't really care about anything."
1:04:50
And then that's my thing.
1:04:52
With the number one thing, it used to be very true to me.
1:04:56
That used to be so true to me.
1:04:58
I was fixated on getting the number one at any cost.
1:05:02
Like even if it was number 40, like I was like I I like had to I used to be when I was younger, I used to really, really care. Mhm.
1:05:11
really care. Mhm. So much that I felt like I wasn't even enjoying the things in front of me because I was like so like I'd get the number one like in something I'd be the best at it like I'd have like a number one Billboard record and then I'd be not even like
1:05:28
celebrate I'd be like yeah yeah that's cool and then like move on to the next thing and I won't even think about it and I feel like I feel like that was so true to me for so many years of my life and honestly until pretty recently until probably like four years ago and then it was really
1:05:45
solidified honestly with with Selena because I felt like I won I won it and I already did I already know that like I solidified what I wanted to do and it was like the first time in my life where I didn't care and that doesn't mean that if it is in sight I'm going to do everything in my
1:06:03
physical power to try to do the best thing I can because that's just the type of person I am I love the competition I love striving for the greatness but it doesn't have the same importance that it did have on me for so long it used to have me in like a chokehold Yeah. and
1:06:15
have me in like a chokehold Yeah. and then like I felt like I was finally freed of that like in the last like four or five years and it was like so freeing but I understand both sides I completely do >> I can relate to it yeah I understand like I used to be the guy looking every
1:06:31
week at the charts seeing if we were getting close and I was so I put so much importance on it and I don't even know why I did because I didn't even care when I got it like but I think I did care but I was so fixated on getting the next You were probably just relieved when you got it. >> Yeah yeah I think I was probably just
1:06:46
>> Yeah yeah I think I was probably just relieved and it was like such a rat race and I'm so happy to be free of it but I do also understand that side of me when I was so into it cuz I'm like yeah that's cool to do that but it is also cool to be like totally free of it and I think the healthy medium is probably somewhere in the middle. >> yeah.
1:07:06
Well thank you guys thank you for playing that started off some really uh >> I like the intense conversations.
1:07:12
We can do a few more or I can take you to our ending three questions.
1:07:14
>> I I I'd like to do a few more.
1:07:14
Okay, let's do a few [laughter] more.
1:07:16
I'm writing on the board.
1:07:18
>> should cancel all your plans after this. I'm staying. All right. Okay.
1:07:21
>> [laughter] >> These are more fun ones.
1:07:23
Who is most likely to survive a zombie apocalypse?
1:07:25
Now you get to free for all. Write down anyone.
1:07:29
>> Wait, it has to be out of the three of us? >> Yes. Okay. Three, two, one, reveal. Oh, why Benny?
1:07:35
Everyone chose the same person. Why Benny?
1:07:38
I just have more skill, like >> I'm the last, no question.
1:07:41
That's between those two.
1:07:42
And I just think men physically are stronger than women. What? Physically. Right.
1:07:48
But why would that have to come in to It's just you and you two. I'm gone.
1:07:50
I thought it was like going by like resourcefulness.
1:07:54
Well, then I definitely would win.
1:07:57
Cuz I feel like I can strategically Kristen's pretty athletic, too. Yeah. >> know. I just mean Well, yeah. Yeah. I don't know.
1:08:03
My instinct was to say Benny. >> I'm gone. I'm the last.
1:08:07
Well, everyone rated each other on different score cards.
1:08:10
Okay, what's the next >> The next question is, who takes the longest to reply to texts?
1:08:16
You're pretty responsive with me.
1:08:16
You respond to every Oh, Kristen. No, Kristen's so good.
1:08:20
No, she Kristen's terrible.
1:08:22
I I don't even I thought you always made fun of me cuz I never respond.
1:08:25
I actually I actually think Kristen's worse than you. I just don't respond.
1:08:30
Because both of them Did she respond to you?
1:08:31
Kristen has never texted me since we met.
1:08:33
That [laughter] that that says a lot.
1:08:35
>> Kristen will respond to only me, and she responds to me relatively timely.
1:08:37
Benny will respond to And she doesn't respond to anyone else, ever.
1:08:41
No, it's it's that's not true. Let me say this.
1:08:43
I mean, I do I did I do have a little bit of anxiety with texting. Yeah.
1:08:46
So, I and I don't like to ever feel like I have to do Like I don't wake up in the morning and read my texts.
1:08:54
Like I think that's where I am going wrong.
1:08:56
And now I have like, I think 1,600 unread text messages.
1:09:00
It's going to be It's going to be a lot more DMs and Well, I don't look at my DMs.
1:09:04
I've never looked at DMs. >> She's not public.
1:09:06
No, but now >> even look at my friends' DMs. >> Still not public. I'm really sorry.
1:09:08
Dave has You're still not going to be public. >> No. Oh, we'll see.
1:09:11
I don't think you should. I like this.
1:09:14
>> Benny Benny responds to every text. Like, no matter what. >> Yeah.
1:09:18
It's just there's like a 72-hour backup.
1:09:20
I [clears throat] saw I saw you're pretty good. >> he does it.
1:09:22
You know he's doing it in the morning and it will like sometimes he'll respond to like a text that doesn't even make sense anymore and you'll just get like hahaha.
1:09:29
>> [laughter] >> He'll respond to like a group chat like 2 days later and and it's so not relevant anymore.
1:09:37
But then everyone's moved on.
1:09:38
>> Yeah, he does but he's he's still Yeah. I'm catching up.
1:09:41
>> Yeah, he's catching up. I text in spurts.
1:09:42
Like, you'll you'll if if I'm like paying attention to my phone, I'll have a I'll be there.
1:09:46
Kristen, like, you know, her parents will be like, "Hey, do you think you could tell Kristen to respond to Yeah.
1:09:51
I got a text on the way here from my mom that was saying, "Hey, could you read the family text and please respond?" >> No way.
1:09:59
>> thought I didn't in the car.
1:09:59
She's the worst [laughter] at at texts. She really is. Rudy's the same. It's hard.
1:10:04
>> Yeah, Rudy's the same. >> My phone's a beeper.
1:10:05
It's just for emergencies.
1:10:07
I'll respond instantly with way too much with too much.
1:10:09
I appreciate that though because then I feel like there's texture to the text and like we can actually get somewhere.
1:10:14
Okay, I'll text you just so you know that I'm capable.
1:10:17
I'm I'm waiting for that text.
1:10:19
I've been texting with these guys for like a year and a half now. Yeah, well Okay. >> Okay, next one.
1:10:23
Who would accidentally start a cult? Go for it. Reveal. Oh, me.
1:10:30
[laughter] You put me in it.
1:10:32
Benny I'm not one of the people. I'm not a cult leader.
1:10:35
I like I think >> [laughter] >> No, I was trying to think.
1:10:36
I We wouldn't be You're You're You're You have more of like the soothing thing.
1:10:40
Like, your your your message could like re- like being like tranquil.
1:10:45
Like, no one wants to join our cult.
1:10:48
>> I said Kristen I only said Kristen because >> I I could definitely be like a cult.
1:10:54
Kristen, everyone likes Kristen and Kristen loves everyone she meets and thinks she's going to be the best friend. >> true.
1:11:01
>> like so many people that she runs into she she could end up thinking that they're going to be close and then all of a sudden there's like, you know, a cult somehow. I don't know. Okay.
1:11:09
Did you style your hair to be like us today?
1:11:11
Yeah, I was like It's very styled. >> always like this.
1:11:15
>> Yeah, you guys all have like a similar look. >> different.
1:11:16
This is the first time we've had three people with curly hair on the show at the same time.
1:11:20
>> You got [laughter] a lot of staff.
1:11:20
Did they give you all these mics? No, I don't know. I'm making them up. I'm making them up.
1:11:24
It's like It's the first time we had three curly heads.
1:11:27
>> [laughter] >> Three people with curly hair.
1:11:27
You guys do have the same hairstyle. >> We do.
1:11:30
So we have like variations of >> Yeah, Jen If your hair was longer would it like flow out?
1:11:34
Yeah, it's like my hair's like My hair's like this naturally. This is my >> yeah.
1:11:38
But it's like I feel like it's it's like evolution of hair is like me to Dave to Benny.
1:11:42
It's like It's like that. It's like evolution. It is evolution. What do you guys say?
1:11:47
evolution evolution >> But we I like evolution.
1:11:49
>> aluminum aluminum, yeah. >> Yeah.
1:11:52
aluminum is what you guys say.
1:11:53
>> aluminum Oh, you call it aluminum?
1:11:55
aluminum aluminum There's another I in it.
1:11:58
>> words There's one word that you I can't think of it now and it's unfortunate.
1:12:01
>> food the food What do you call it?
1:12:02
croissant croissant croissant No, there's one word you always say.
1:12:04
I can't remember it but you say it different.
1:12:07
No, it's like Also people say they say So you in America you'd say like his name is Dave but like if we were British we'd say he's called Dave. >> you say innovative?
1:12:17
innovative That's what you Yeah, innovative. That's what you say. Yeah, innovative.
1:12:21
I have to think about it now cuz I hear it now.
1:12:24
>> nonchalantly said funny, too. >> Is it nonchalant?
1:12:26
He says nonchalant normal.
1:12:28
Oh, no, he said it said something different.
1:12:29
I I said do you want me to be less nonchalant?
1:12:31
I was just joking around.
1:12:32
Wow, I like I like nonchalant. Yeah. Yeah, nonchalant.
1:12:35
Maybe I should change it.
1:12:37
These are the last three because these are You don't have to write for these anymore.
1:12:40
These were questions given by So before the show you can keep those whiteboards. They're yours.
1:12:44
I'll sign [laughter] them there.
1:12:46
No, no, we won't keep them.
1:12:48
I asked you each for a question you'd like me to ask the other two people in the room. Oh, yeah. This is hard.
1:12:56
>> So, these are the questions you gave. We'll start with Bennie.
1:12:59
So, Bennie's question to both of you and the answer has to be in one sentence.
1:13:05
I'll maybe let you expand.
1:13:07
The question from Bennie is, "How do you separate work from your relationship?
1:13:10
If you're disagreeing in work, does it spill over into personal and vice versa?"
1:13:17
I would say that we Well, I think you've been a part of it.
1:13:19
I Dave and I are really This is like the one thing that's great about our relationship and now I feel similarly with Bennie is that we can we can like have arguments and we can get upset with each other and then like instantly kind of once we feel like we've turned over the stones in the argument or like gotten to a place, it's never carried over.
1:13:40
Like we've never been Have we ever been mad more than a day? If even if a day.
1:13:45
I don't even think we've ever been mad for a full day.
1:13:48
>> I've never been mad for Oh, you guys. You guys. >> Yeah.
1:13:51
Are you asking about us, too? Yeah, yeah, I was.
1:13:52
Bennie, you said something about me. >> Yeah, sorry. Yeah. It's going, Dave. >> Kicking my foot. >> Take it away.
1:13:57
Uh I think he asked the question because we work so we like beyond even just uh our multimedia uh creation.
1:14:06
Um you know, any script she writes, I'm I'm a part of that with her.
1:14:11
Any script I write, she's a part of that with me.
1:14:12
So, it's really I mean, she's not a part of my musical process, so that's my I get separation there um because she likes more poppy stuff that I don't just like >> No, that's not true.
1:14:22
>> No, she doesn't like poppy. She's the opposite. She likes less poppy.
1:14:25
>> One time I gave you a bunch of thoughts.
1:14:27
She doesn't you know, she doesn't like to show me his music.
1:14:29
>> I hate showing her my music.
1:14:31
She doesn't listen to lyrics. Yeah.
1:14:31
So, I could show her a recording of me where the verses are ha so and so and so and so and so and so and so and so and so and so and so and she would like that just as much as me like doing really clever lyrics. >> Wow.
1:14:41
No, but He also the we we we tried He tried to show me his music once, but it was so I had to He literally like pulled up the chair directly in front of the computer.
1:14:51
It was blasting the the speakers were blasting and I wasn't allowed to move and I just It had to be under his circumstances. >> Yeah.
1:15:01
He's like you have to sit there.
1:15:02
I'm I tell him I'm not sitting there or don't show me the music. >> to sit Yeah.
1:15:05
>> [laughter] >> So then I feel like it was a bad idea.
1:15:07
>> about what we don't like about David again?
1:15:08
That was not the question. I love Benny.
1:15:11
>> answer Benny's original question. How do we separate?
1:15:14
I mean we we I I selfishly don't always feel the need to because I when we're talking about work or whatever we're working on, I I find it so inspiring and fun and like I'm just like to me there's like nothing more fun to talk about now.
1:15:32
So I look at it as like this is great.
1:15:32
I get to have fun with my best friend and we're being productive at the same time.
1:15:37
Now, you know, sometimes I feel like, you know, I remember when I originally started dating Kristen and I learned that she kind of has the same exact interests professionally as I do.
1:15:45
I did have the thought oh man, like would I is it would I be better off marrying someone who was like an English teacher and there was like complete separation of church and state.
1:15:57
But now seeing the opposite, I'm so happy that we get to connect over the thing because like, you know, I think there's just such a joy to me when I get to talk about the things I care the most about in life, which unfortunately is work.
1:16:11
Now, I'm not working like some corporate drudgery job.
1:16:15
I'm working on like the self-expression of my soul. So >> Yeah.
1:16:19
it's it's different to be like, oh, there's no separate I'm not like working at an accounting firm.
1:16:22
Like I'm talking about you know, how to tell these stories that I feel born to tell and she's it's fun.
1:16:28
Like we're talking about fun creative but >> You helped me become, I would say, that like you've you've given me more confidence professionally.
1:16:34
The good thing about us working together is you've given like I feel like over the few years that we've kind of like really co-meshed our professional lives, I kind of come from come from a place of like more self-doubt and like insecurity, and he has really helped me get like the kind of confidence to even be doing this and writing and stuff.
1:16:54
I feel like it's been really I'm so thankful that I you're like a good mentor and a husband. Great answers, guys. Beautiful. Really nice. That felt good.
1:17:04
But we should we should we should go on more dates without talking about the past and I have.
1:17:09
>> the main thing I wanted to say. I wanted to say.
1:17:11
I I think sometimes I'll be like, especially with the anxiety that I've had, which I'm on a new path forward and I'm a new person and I no longer create this self-inflicted torture of like anxiety about the podcast in particular, but there was a period where I was like we have to stop talking about work all the time cuz I can't like mentally break away from it.
1:17:33
And it was I just I wasn't But now I'm Now you can sign me up for >> What was the time where I was like, "I don't want to talk about this right now" and you kept talking? Oh, yeah, you were home. Doesn't matter.
1:17:44
Cuz I was about to like do something with music where I just had to be in like the state of mind that and I was in such a good mood.
1:17:49
I had no anxiety about anything with like the the podcast or whatever you want to call it.
1:17:53
And she I said I don't want to talk about it right now and she just wanted to talk about it.
1:18:01
>> this is an interesting I did start going to therapy because I was like it's important that he can't always be the like I have such a tendency when I have anxiety to like for me to get over my anxiety, I have to say every thought that I have, which it used to be okay.
1:18:14
I mean, I'm sure it's exhausting for him, but it used to not be so related to what he was doing.
1:18:21
So, therapy has been helpful because instead of like taking him on, which he's still very supportive, but like I don't have to like I felt like I was like bringing him down.
1:18:30
So, the therapy now is a lot easier for me to like just mentally spiral and then I'm not putting it on you.
1:18:37
So, we've learned a little we've we've kind of like started to create some boundaries.
1:18:41
>> And I learned now now not to get her worked up when she's in bed.
1:18:44
And I know not to like if I sometimes I'm I come in and I come up with an idea of like we should do this that and then she and she is I'm very easily >> Yeah, she needs to sleep. Yeah.
1:18:53
>> I just would get like revved up and excited. >> Yeah. Yeah.
1:18:55
Me and my wife are like So, like I'm the one who comes to bed and wants to chat and talk and like get it and she does not want to and she's like first thing in the morning wants to chat and talk and I'm like I need to like gear up slowly. So, I get that. That's beautiful. Thank you. >> to thaw out.
1:19:09
I have to thaw out in the morning though.
1:19:10
So, this was Kristen's question for Benny and Dave.
1:19:14
Do you guys talk about me when I leave the room?
1:19:17
>> [laughter] >> You have to answer honestly. Not not really, no. Cool. Not really.
1:19:25
This was a hard thing to hard question.
1:19:27
I couldn't >> It's a good question. I like it.
1:19:29
>> The only time I remember that is at New Year's when I was like, "What are you guys talking about?"
1:19:36
And then you you Dave said I'm not at liberty to tell you.
1:19:40
And then he said he said and he was just and then I was like, "All right."
1:19:45
And then we just started talking about something else.
1:19:47
And then when you came over, you were like, "Are you talking about me?"
1:19:49
And we weren't talking about you at that time. >> I ask a lot.
1:19:52
This paranoia that as soon as I leave the room, but I know that I'm it's mostly more of a joke. I know you guys aren't.
1:19:57
No, we never really talk trash about you.
1:19:59
No, we're No, we're positive.
1:20:01
Ooh, do you guys say positive things behind my back?
1:20:05
>> [laughter] >> Do you say positive things behind my back? Like what? No, he just said no. No.
1:20:10
Yeah, I've said like I've said like I was was so blown away by how well Kristen's done.
1:20:16
Like I remember we talked about that before.
1:20:17
So, you guys see me as a too.
1:20:19
We talk about you the way I don't know.
1:20:22
Guys talk about their wives or it's not like we're not like talking about you professionally that often.
1:20:27
>> Yeah, there's never and there's never Do you guys not have this Do you not have this fear?
1:20:31
>> Dave's never come No, no, I don't I live in I always am like is Think about it like You guys are talking about me.
1:20:35
No, and if and if you guys are talking about me they either there's a reason or like they're upset with something or I don't care. Yeah.
1:20:44
I think I I I care too much what people think so I'm always like even though it's like kind of half joking I will I thought everybody felt this way.
1:20:53
Be like A lot of people do feel this way.
1:20:54
Like be like as soon as I leave I'll be like I wonder even if it's not bad.
1:20:57
I just wonder if they're being like Yeah, she was talked a lot that time or she was said that really a bad question.
1:21:06
She has so much self-doubt and like circular thoughts of negativity that are the our brains are like on the hunt for stuff.
1:21:13
I think so much of that is women's conditioning in society and treatment of women in in society.
1:21:16
Like that's my take on it. I was going to say that. I was going to say that. And and ADHD.
1:21:21
No, I mean seriously I'm being deadly serious.
1:21:25
And then when I talk to all my male friends they all feel the same way and then I talk to my female friends they all feel that way.
1:21:30
And I'm like wait what that's that's you know, you can't then just ignore it.
1:21:33
And I think it's been a little bit more it's been more exaggerated just because of the like the uncertainty about all of this being public.
1:21:43
I feel like I live Your hair is in your mouth. I'm sorry.
1:21:48
You can't see it from here at all. I didn't see it either.
1:21:49
That's just why I said why I said guys. That was really helpful.
1:21:53
I tell him to do this thing. Thank you. Yeah, it's beautiful.
1:21:56
Yeah, it's been exacerbated because you're dealing with me and Benny are also even though we have spur men we're like You've been public for so long.
1:22:02
But we're like the two no one believes in themselves more than me and Benny.
1:22:05
Like we don't think we're just like so it's like that compared to self-doubt it makes it feel even more of a >> Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:22:13
But I'm doing a lot better cuz I realized that I realized that so much of my self-doubt is like my default narrator like in my head.
1:22:23
And I feel like this podcast will help me I don't know. I could just crumble. No.
1:22:28
You guys you might never see me again. Not in a bad way. You're so aware.
1:22:30
I think you know, I think part of it is just as hard as you are on yourself you don't give yourself enough credit as well.
1:22:38
But like you're so aware of what's going on in your mind.
1:22:40
I think I think if you're not aware, that's when it's really bad. >> I agree. She's very You're right. >> to hear that. Yeah. I'm doing okay. Yeah.
1:22:47
All right, final question.
1:22:49
This was Dave's question.
1:22:51
I saved what I believed to be the best for last. Thank you Josh. This is Dave's question.
1:22:56
So Dave's question to Kristen and Benny is if I died how often would you guys hang out or see each other? Wow.
1:23:08
I feel like if you died it'd be so heartbreaking and we'd be sharing we'd be like experiencing similar pain.
1:23:12
Well, me more, [clears throat] but I can't speak on half of Benny maybe be I don't know. How frequently? I don't know.
1:23:19
Like as much as we could, but Check first.
1:23:23
I'd obviously I would edit all the things to I know how you would like them and I'd find a way >> You'd get the right features?
1:23:32
Yeah, I'd find I would First I was talking about the show.
1:23:35
Then for then I'd edit I'd Yeah, I'd make sure to get the right features.
1:23:41
We've spoken enough about I'd I'd be able to at least there's like 15 songs I could cobble together something great and I would and I would do that and I would make sure not >> But would you hang out with me?
1:23:51
15 songs I could cobble together. No, no, no.
1:23:53
To make something like truly like But would you do it hanging out with me? Isn't that the question? That's No, no, no.
1:24:00
This was a This is what he Yeah, would she would she be would she be involved Would you involve her in the album? Clearly he's not.
1:24:07
>> [laughter] >> No, no, no, no.
1:24:07
But I would involve her in Like the roll out. No, no. I didn't involve her.
1:24:12
Would I still be invited to like the dinner parties?
1:24:13
Yeah, I think I would hang out with you.
1:24:15
I think you would Well, I'd like you to fill like my my a role.
1:24:19
Like I feel like you'd I feel like I'd be calling you like every day and That would be so You can't You have to We have to protect you at all costs.
1:24:29
>> Or Or would you guys be so reminded of me when you saw each other that you'd actually have to never see each other ever again? >> No, no, no.
1:24:36
We'd see each other all the time.
1:24:38
>> If I died, would you guys just replace me? No, what?
1:24:42
>> [laughter] >> In the show.
1:24:45
No, it'd just be a two-person show. >> What? No, it'd be done. Yeah.
1:24:47
Or would we keep I don't know.
1:24:50
No, I wouldn't be that I wouldn't be that interested anymore. >> Yeah. No one's dying.
1:24:54
I hate talking about this, even though I I know.
1:24:58
>> [laughter] >> No one's dying. We've got footage again.
1:25:00
If everyone needs facts and proof about You brought it up.
1:25:03
>> I am so I mean, just spending time with you makes me just love the show even more, but I want to say to all of you like truly you guys trusting me, giving me this opportunity to do this with you has been uh a highlight of my professional career like to work with
1:25:16
all three of you because it's very rare that when you're like you know, when I started my podcast 7 years ago, I never thought I'd be helping create something amazing with the vision of all three of you and I am feel so lucky and fortunate. So, thank
1:25:28
So, thank you for the gift.
1:25:30
Thank you for the blessing and uh Thank you for all your help. We love you.
1:25:34
>> We feel just the same way. >> We love you, Jay.
1:25:35
You're a You're our mentor.
1:25:37
>> [laughter] >> You're our guru.
1:25:37
I'm definitely No, don't Don't start making me this cult leader now. Oh, no, no, I wasn't.
1:25:41
I wasn't No, you're you're you're you're like the you're you're so good to bounce all this stuff off.
1:25:48
I feel like you've already laid, you know, laid the ground.
1:25:54
We're just trying to I don't think it's that. You guys had a vision.
1:25:57
You know what you're building.
1:25:57
I think it's been it's it's been fun getting the opportunity to be a part of it.
1:26:02
That's how I feel about it.
1:26:02
So, thank you for letting me be a part of your crazy creative vision.
1:26:04
Thank you for hearing our our desires and not scoffing at them and doing your best to make it all happen. Yeah, absolutely. Friends keep secrets. Excited. On three. What happens man? On three? Friends on three. Friends on three. Friends Yeah. On Friends on Purpose.
1:26:20
Friends on Purpose on three. One, two, three. Friends on Purpose.
1:26:25
>> [laughter] >> If you love this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.
1:26:36
There's blessing in the breaking.
1:26:39
And every moment that you encounter in your life, even if it's just road rage,