0:00
while you're sitting in your dad's basement like I'm chasing my dreams and I was kind of just in this like bratty time which no pun intended.
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0:04
The pun very much intended. No. Yeah. All pun intended.
0:08
I was in a bratty time in my own life. Intend that pun. I mean it. [Music] Hi Addison. Hey.
0:19
It's nice to meet you in person. I know at last.
0:21
I feel like I've met you though.
0:24
And here we find ourselves in the middle of this um this beautiful era for you, right?
0:28
It's the middle of of a of a kind of coming out of a cocoon of sorts, you know?
0:32
It's just that that cocoon is like been seen by a lot of people and now you get to kind of kind of emerge with with music that really speaks to you and that's why I love that song so much.
0:43
But when I heard High Fashion and I thought Diet Pepsi was a great move on and and a great sort of arrival in a way because that is today at least who you are as an artist. that song.
0:53
It's like catchy, sticky, clever, provocative, and weird.
0:59
Is that a fair Is that a fair description? No. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it is. I love that actually.
1:02
I really find a lot of compliments in weirdness and like uncomfortability, you know?
1:08
I think that's the best way to provoke someone is to make them feel a way that they maybe don't feel comfortable or maybe feel embarrassed to feel.
1:15
We were right there for obsessed. We spoke on obsessed.
1:18
Everyone's got to start somewhere, right?
1:20
But Diet Pepsi was like, "Okay, I've taken the time between then and now."
1:23
I've really like listened to myself more than anyone else. Yeah.
1:27
But High Fashion was like, "Fucking hell, where is she coming from?"
1:28
Because it's a it's a it's a really skewed modern pop song.
1:33
How did you feel when you heard whatever you heard that inspired it? You know, what was it? What was the spark?
1:40
I mean, you know, going to Diet Pepsi, like you were just talking about, that was such to me like a natural beginning to all of this.
1:46
And I think it was a perfect introduction in so many ways.
1:50
Um because it was, you know, as as fun and wild and sexy as Diet Pepsi is, it's like easy to understand.
1:59
Like you could see why, you know, that would be a lead single.
2:01
And I think High Fashion was the one that really confused people the most, which I thought was so funny because I remember when we were in the studio making High Fashion, it went through a few versions actually before we landed on what it is now.
2:13
And it was kind of like a ballad and like some weird musical theater song.
2:17
Like we were really trying to make this concept work because I love to us please so we can hear them in private.
2:23
No, there's the musical theater one.
2:23
I definitely want to hear that. It's really wild.
2:26
It's like maybe one day, you know, I want to be high fashion.
2:28
I'm going to be high fashion literally. Um yeah.
2:33
And when we landed on this, um what had happened was we were, you know, toying around with the concept of high fashion.
2:39
And I wanted a song called High Fashion so bad.
2:41
And that's where it really started.
2:42
And then I ended up writing down, you know, I don't need drugs.
2:45
because I'd rather get high fashion.
2:47
And so when I brought this concept up to Luca and Alviver Vera, like I said, we tried it a few times.
2:52
Nothing was clicking, but I was so desperate to make it work just because I love the title high fashion.
2:56
And um and then I wasn't at the studio one day.
2:58
I think I I must have been like doing something else.
3:03
And Luke and Oier were still in in the studio working on things.
3:06
And um Tove Berman, who is an incredible songwriter, um she came in to the session that they were having and were like they were like, "We need to try and make this title work for her.
3:15
We need to make the concept work."
3:17
Like she has the lyric that she wants. She won't let it go. Yeah. I won't let it go.
3:20
How do we make this happen?
3:22
And so they came the next day into the session and were like, "We kind of made a track that we feel like could be where high fashion needs to end up."
3:30
And I was like, "Amazing. Let me hear it."
3:32
And so they played a very different but very similar version of what it is now. Yeah.
3:37
Kind of like the bones of it all, but with the with the chords that feel kind of minor and Yeah. the weird chords.
3:42
Kind of like 2 AM in the rave. Exactly. Exactly.
3:44
That was kind of like the idea was for it to feel pretty like druggy and, you know, lost in itself in a way.
3:51
And I think that complimented that lyric so well.
3:56
And so when they brought me that and had like a little they had like a taste of the melody, it kind of changed um since the first version that they played me, but it had the lyric.
4:04
And so I was like, "Oh my god, I love it.
4:06
We have to work on this."
4:08
And we worked on it that day.
4:09
And I think we finished it the next day and it just evolved so magically.
4:10
And then we didn't even have the bridge in the first version.
4:15
It was just really short and concise.
4:17
And I was like, I don't know.
4:19
I need something that goes even deeper. I wanted to go longer. Yes, I know. It needs to be longer. And I love long songs.
4:25
I think long songs are especially when you have that vibe, man.
4:28
It's like why would I let that go after 2 minutes? No, it's so true. I know.
4:29
And high fashion gives me such like a sense of desperation and it it it almost makes me feel alone but in a very crowded room kind of sensation, you know? Yeah.
4:41
And so yeah, then we wrote that bridge and it's really special bridge to me.
4:46
I don't know, it feels so intimate in a lot of ways.
4:50
I think it's honestly, in my personal opinion, it's one of, if not the contender for like pop song of of my year so far.
4:57
I mean, it's just such an interesting arrangement and I, like I said, I just I love the fact that you that you um had the foresight and the creative courage to let your collaborators take you into into a place that people weren't expecting so early. So early.
5:12
And I wonder sort of how important bold statements are at this point in your journey rather than kind of like playing it a little safer knowing that a certain type of music is going to reach an audience that already exists and create a smoother transition from fame to creative freedom.
5:27
How important that you are willing to like make bold statements and challenge people rather than make it easier for us. Yeah.
5:36
Well, I mean I think I got seems like a lot.
5:39
It seems like you don't mind doing it. I don't mind it.
5:41
It's actually more comfortable to me to feel that freedom because once you start playing it safe and feeling like, okay, I'm going to respond with what people want, you lose all freedom. Yeah.
5:50
You lose all desire for the whole purpose of starting it, you know, and and feeling like it's a form of expression and a reflection.
6:03
So, I think yeah, it's never really scary to me.
6:05
I think it it's more scary to let that go and then give people exactly what they think they want.
6:09
But you worked so hard to build a a fan base and a lot of pressure at a at a very young age in order to sort of make the numbers work and your story is really interesting because you know you got a taste of what was possible.
6:20
People were interested in what you were doing online on the internet and on social media but then it was very clear based on what I've learned about you so far and please keep me honest here that you didn't look at it as like oh just a frivolous cool thing people like me dancing and like me entertaining them.
6:34
You were like no this is a way out of something. Is that true? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
6:38
I mean, I think in the beginning especially and, you know, starting out, I always knew that I wanted to make music.
6:45
I always knew I wanted to act.
6:46
I think I just knew I wanted to perform.
6:48
That was just something that was really obvious to me since I was a little girl.
6:50
Um, and so when Tik Tok happened, I was almost like, well, this seems like a really nice way to, you know, get myself to LA first because I think in Louisiana, you know, there wasn't as many opportunities or like possibility really to pursue that kind of profession necessarily unless you just got really really lucky, which means there's probably not a lot of people around that you can kick that dream down the road with. Mhm. Yeah. Yeah.
7:16
I mean, I had a best friend who is still one of my best friends of all time, and she had a very similar perspective as me on artistry and being an artist and creating and and making that possible.
7:27
And um she was with me whenever I first came to LA.
7:30
Um and so I think that was really helpful to have one person that I felt really understood me as a person and as a creative and my passion and desire for that.
7:40
and she kind of was someone that I leaned on a lot to keep inspiring me and keep feeling like this isn't just a, you know, passing thing that I need to let go of.
7:51
Did Tik Tok change your family's life? Yeah, it did.
7:53
I mean, I think any sense of, you know, acknowledgement or I guess attention in those kinds of ways changes your family's life. Yeah.
8:05
For better or for worse, I'm sure it goes both ways.
8:06
You don't get a life-changing experience all going one way.
8:09
there's going to be sacrifice along the way.
8:11
Let's talk about the positive though.
8:12
Um, how did that sort of how did you translate the idea of of sort of modern fame, which really is just about like that immediate endorphin rush of like I like what you're doing here or I like what you're saying here or I like the value you're bringing to my life and it's so immediate.
8:26
It's like oh I know who you are now because you've done something that grabbed my attention first and then I actually think it's a value to me so I'm going to tell you so hit that thing and tell you so and you're seeing these things stack up.
8:38
When did you start to realize that, hang on, I can't just let this be a private exercise.
8:41
I have to kind of think about how to monetize this and turn this into business, right?
8:45
Because you're one of the first people to really do that out of that Tik Tok revolution to create business before you even got a chance to introduce yourself to us as an artist, right?
8:53
I mean, I think so many opportunities were coming at me at a million miles per hour.
8:56
And I when I mean when I first moved to LA within the first two months I had met with my managers and I I mean that was my my first time meeting with any type of manager before but I'm still with them today.
9:08
So it was obviously very wa that is that's really lucky.
9:10
Um but I told them the first time they had met me with the intention of like talking about social media like oh great so we're going to manage you on social media and you're going to be you know like an influencer and I was like yeah well I actually don't want to do that.
9:22
Like that's not the goal for me.
9:23
The goal is to create, you know, art and entertainment for people that, you know, exceeds just social media and and just living on a a platform like Tik Tok.
9:32
You know, I want it to be everywhere.
9:34
And I want to I want to entertain people in different facets, not just by sharing my personal life necessarily um in the way that I was at the time.
9:43
And so, yeah, cuz that's really tough, right?
9:45
I mean, at the end of the day, you make a piece of art, then you get to take a breath, a moment, and you get to decide how you want to bring it to life. And it's all creative.
9:52
It's like I'm going to do the show like this, the merch like this.
9:55
Everything's it's just all created and it and it lives and it exists in a time and it's part of something.
10:00
Whereas that's the one thing about social media success is that if you're not updating it and feeding it then people feel like it's not personal.
10:09
And what that experience was like as as a as a real first generation hypers successful social media human being to be constantly feeling like I have to feed this beast otherwise it won't feed me back. Right.
10:23
I think I've gotten to a point in my life where I've acknowledged that within over the past probably two years, I've acknowledged that and understood where that came from and kind of now know that by treating myself like I'm disposable in that way and that it's on to the next piece of content and okay, what do I have to post tomorrow to keep people excited or interested and and it was day after day after day.
10:46
I mean, I was posting like 10 Tik Toks a day at at one point, you know, and I was feeling like I couldn't stop because I was like, well, what if people forget about me?
10:54
What if they don't care, you know, what if they lose interest?
10:55
And by the way, that's a really common thought to have these days because things are so rapid and things are coming out so fast and, you know, people move on to the next thing.
11:03
But I think when I realized for myself that by doing that and playing into that, I'm actually I'm actually telling people that the work is disposable and that the work is not worth thinking about for longer than 10 seconds, you know?
11:16
And so now I'm at this point where I'm like, no, I know these songs have value.
11:21
I know the videos have value.
11:23
I know they need to be digested over time and I need they need to be understood and rewatched and, you know, looked deeper into.
11:30
And and so now that I've given myself that grace and been like, "No, I I actually value my work that much that I think I put that much time into it, that much effort into it, I know it deserves to be understood and it needs to be understood over time." Congratulations.
11:45
As a as a music fan, that is that's all music fans want to hear is that is that you're willing to give us the grace to discover what it is you've made and and we don't feel the pressure cuz we feel pressure, too.
11:55
Like if we like someone online or on social media, we feel pressure to keep up with you. Mhm.
12:00
And at the end of the day, we're all racing.
12:01
And I just don't know if it goes anywhere.
12:02
That's not to say it's not great.
12:04
I'm on social media feeds. We did a Tik Tok today.
12:05
We're all about this and about that.
12:07
We're going to do Tik Toks later. Yeah. Yeah. It's all tool. It's all tools, right?
12:09
It's all tools in the box, but just keep them in the box and take them out when you want them.
12:13
I just don't know if it builds anything that substantial without, to your point, you having to consistently feed it.
12:20
Whereas, I'm a fan of this because this can sit here and wait for me.
12:25
Y and I can find it in three years time.
12:27
In fact, it's it's a privilege to miss it for 10 years and and discover it later on in life. It really is.
12:34
I feel honestly most times most strongly about music that I listen to that came out, you know, 20 years ago on an album that I never heard.
12:40
It's the best thing ever.
12:42
best thing ever. And I think I actually just saw something recently Charlie just posted at Tik Tok duetting this one girl who talks a lot about pop culture and music and whatever on um online and she was saying you know the true value in an artist is them knowing that art it it extends past the day that it was
12:58
released you know and it extends past just a time a small time frame where people think oh well it's not new anymore so it's it's old you know it's timeless it's like it's timeless it can exist it can find you at any moment and I think the songs will find people at different moment moments in their life. And you know, even when you listen to a
13:13
And you know, even when you listen to a song now that you used to love two years ago, it's a completely different meaning. Shazam all the time.
13:20
I'm like, "Was that was that? What's that? Was that was that?"
13:21
Be told me once, he's like, "I think songs physically change shape." They do.
13:23
And I was like, "Wow, this is incredible."
13:25
So you're you're thinking of songs in a physical form. He's like, "Absolutely.
13:29
Every time it touches somebody, it enters into them and becomes part of their physical makeup, their DNA, their chemistry." Right. Exactly. It's part of it.
13:35
It's almost a sixth sense.
13:35
And they change shape according to the circumstances around them and what they are.
13:40
It's how you get to live on. Yeah, it's so true.
13:43
It's kind of cool, right?
13:46
It kind of defeats mortality in in the most sort of romantic and creative way. It does.
13:50
And it's like mind control to me.
13:52
Oh, let's talk about that. What do you mean?
13:53
I think music I'm a really intentional listener.
13:56
I actually like get really bothered when music is playing whenever I'm not um presently or focused on kind of controlling what I'm listening to or taking in. Never. Never.
14:09
Most times when I'm in my car, I'm driving in silence.
14:10
I like to just sit alone in my thoughts a lot of times.
14:12
Um because when background music starts playing, I almost feel like it it it impacts me so strongly that I I then am like having my mood controlled or like led in a certain way. Yeah.
14:25
Your chemistry is changing in real time. It is.
14:28
And I think when you listen to certain songs, especially, you know, I love listening to every single element of of a song. I love the production.
14:34
I think production is such a big part to me of music.
14:37
I think, you know, lyrics are obviously so impactful and and I I really listen to every lyric that I hear.
14:45
Um, obviously melody is so also so important and I think once you get past listening to the melody or the, you know, track and you hear the lyrics, it really does shape your view on your day in a lot of ways.
14:58
Well, and the way that you relate to people, man, we're on the same page.
15:00
I I I've been saying to people lately that, you know, when you hear a song like I can hear high fashion, all of a sudden I'm going to move a little different and I'm going to and I'm going to hum it when I'm walking into rooms or it's going to be my mind so I'm going to greet people differently.
15:12
I'm going to greet them in a high fashion way.
15:13
Greet them with a groove. Right. Exactly. Right.
15:14
Whereas if I was listening to deaf tones, I would be walking in.
15:18
I'd be greeting them in a different way. Totally. Right.
15:20
And so it alters the whole course of your day and those people that you touch and interact with across your day. It is such a magic. Yeah.
15:26
It like bleeds into everything. Yeah, it really does. So you're Addison now.
15:30
That's that's I mean it's it's a great doublebarreled name to have, but it's a great first name to to have now.
15:39
So it's self-titled by design because to some degree that represents a break in how people have perceived you before.
15:48
Well, I think for me if if you got introduced to me as Addison Ray, as most people did, I think you will always know me as that.
15:56
But I think for me and what making music is doing for just my own soul and heart is bringing me back to like the core of everything.
16:05
And so I think Addison Ray, yes, you know, is a part of me and that will always be a part of who I am.
16:12
And there are elements of me that are obviously Addison Ray and and kind of encapsulate what people have created as who Addison Ray is.
16:18
But I think for me it's it was all about coming back to the center of it all which is just Addison.
16:25
And I don't know I think in my life nobody ever called me Addison Ray. Like that wasn't true. No. It's so true.
16:32
What you're saying I think is is from my perspective what I'm taking from it is that if someone introduces you as Addison Ray they're introducing you as an identity. It's an identity.
16:40
It's like hey this is Addison Ray you know from the internet. Yes.
16:44
Whereas if you make art and you make music and I and it moves me and I and I get and I get to introduce you to somebody because I get to be that conduit.
16:51
Edison is a far more personal way to do it. Yes. Exactly.
16:53
Like we have a relationship whether it's personal or not. So much more intimate. Yeah, it is. Yeah. I know.
16:59
I actually had an experience where I went home like a few years ago maybe and somebody that I had went to high school with was like, "Yeah, this is Addison Ray."
17:06
And I was like I was like bless him.
17:10
That's just that's a kind of heartbreaking best intentions, but I know it was it was with the best intentions, but it did hurt me because I was like, you know me more than that, you know?
17:23
And I think that that definitely made me realize a lot of things whenever that happened cuz I was just like, whoa, that that actually kind of shows me in a way the way that they decide to view me, you know?
17:33
It's no longer like it's like oh they've taken on the approach that I've just changed with Hollywood or something you know.
17:42
Let's talk about the making of this record.
17:43
Okay so Obsess comes out you take that first step and people are trying to figure out what it means to Addison Ray and then there was a concerted amount of time in between that and your return.
17:56
What were you doing in that time? I was writing. I was in sessions. I was meeting people.
18:00
sessions. I was meeting people. I had met Charlie in between that time actually for the first time in a session and um when obsessed came out you know I love obsessed I think obsessed will get its flowers someday um and I actually I mean it did really well when it came out so I was like you know that so why is the your reaction to that song when you
18:18
think back on it now not just it did really well why do you make the statement I love obsessed what was the counter point to it people weren't ready to receive that or me as an artist which is completely understandable and actually I think the reason why people are so much more open to it now is because there is an obvious difference of how much I put into it. Well, also I
18:38
Well, also I think this I think the subject matter, if I can be really honest with you, was a lot for people to try to get their head around because it was like and I think anyone who loves music understood what you were doing was you were taking the public image of people seeing you and being obsessed over the way you were online and you were owning it.
18:53
You were like, "Well, I'm obsessed with me, too."
18:56
It was very tongue and cheek. Totally.
18:57
But I think people can choose to not find it funny. Right. Right. Right.
19:00
And then it's like something that's funny.
19:03
We can be like, "No, I'm not in the mood to find you funny on that right now, so I choose to think that you're taking yourself really serious." Totally. Totally.
19:10
Do you think that's what happened? Yeah. 100%.
19:11
I actually never really thought of it that way, but that is so true.
19:14
And I think even at the time, you know, my confidence and my ability as a songwriter to even get that across maybe in the way, you know, maybe my execution just wasn't as good as I thought it was going to be on that.
19:24
And maybe that's the reason why people misunderstood it or were able to have the space to misunderstand that.
19:28
Um, but I think now, you know, I'm so I'm so involved in every single element of everything.
19:36
It's it's become like almost OCD to be overly involved in everything.
19:40
I mean, it's a big part of the creative pursuit sometimes is a comp is some kind of obsessivempulsion. It is. Yeah.
19:43
And I think at the time I was, you know, still really young and and figuring it out and also figuring out what I even wanted my own music to sound like.
19:51
I was obviously very um inspired and excited and and new to it all.
19:56
And um I mean I love Obsessed, like I said, and I love the music video and I love what it meant to me at the time and what it means to me now and for my career.
20:04
Um but I think now and in between that time of, you know, putting out Obsessed and then even the EP coming out, I really honed in and figured out who I was as a writer, I, you know, lessened the amount of people that was in the room, which I think in the beginning was really hard because when I first started making music, I mean, I hadn't really done this in my whole life.
20:25
You know, in Louisiana, it's not like I was in sessions in Louisiana.
20:28
You know, I was very much just dancing and going to school and, you know, doing things that you do when you think you're you're figuring out what you're going to do in your life.
20:36
And so when I moved here and I started doing sessions, I was like, I need as much guidance as possible.
20:42
I need, you know, two songwriters in the room aside from me.
20:44
I need, you know, a producer.
20:47
I need sometimes even another songwriter in the room.
20:50
And I was switching around between rooms all the time with different people.
20:54
and and I was involving myself and I was, you know, feeling like a little shy with it and I definitely would feel like the inferior subject in the room because I'd be like, "Oh, well, they know what they're doing."
21:04
And, you know, you're in the room with Benny Blancc who couldn't be a better and more generous collaborator, but he's one of the most successful writers and producers in modern history. Yeah.
21:10
Him and Blake did a great job working on the song, which was really nice and very generous.
21:15
But whenever I was writing it, I think I was kind of taking a backseat on my own cuz I was like, I am inexperienced.
21:21
I know this, you know, and I was acknowledging that in experience when I was working.
21:24
And then over time, you know, I really started to lean on myself.
21:28
I really started to lean on my abilities.
21:30
And after obsessed, I think I I wanted to prove to myself that whatever people would say was going to be impossible to say again whenever I would put in work.
21:44
The you juice, you need to drink it.
21:47
Sometimes you need a little bit of that kind of revenge therapy in order to get the best out of you once in a while.
21:52
It's it's powerful energy.
21:52
Um, but it, you know, it doesn't work unless to your point, you're self-aware enough to know where you need to work and what you need to do.
22:04
So, what was the turning point for you when you realized, okay, I kind of know where I'm going now?
22:10
So, it it's actually not as as far away as it may seem.
22:17
I think when I went into the session with Charlie to write Von Dutch Remix, that was a really big turning point for me.
22:23
I think when the EP came out, um, and obviously the songs got leaked, which was really devastating, but it happened and it happened for good reason.
22:30
And I think, thank God it happened, honestly.
22:32
But, um, when that happened, I I think I was still pretty insecure in my songwriting abilities.
22:35
I I never had felt sure about it, you know, as as one does.
22:40
know, as as one does. is and I think you know every day an artist will go into a session and I mean I was in a session yesterday and I was like am I just the worst songwriter of all time you know happens every time course but with Von Dutch remix um when Charlie had reached out to me to do Von Dutch remix I sent her back like a note she had sent me the
22:57
track and was like oh this is the track that the remix track that I I wanted to do with you and you know it here's the original song so you know what the the topic is or what it's based off of and I was like great and she was like I want to rewrite the whole thing it's going to be nothing like the the original song and I was like, "Amazing." Um, well, let
23:11
Um, well, let me just send you some lyrics that I've written down in the past and like they kind of coincide with this topic.
23:16
And sent her a whole like note.
23:18
It was like must have been like, you know, 10 lines of things and just like information that I was storing up about kind of a similar topic of like, oh, you know, while you're sitting in your dad's basement, like I'm chasing my dreams.
23:31
And I was kind of just in this like bratty time, which no pun intended. Pun very much intended. No. Yeah. All pun intended.
23:37
I was in a bratty time in my own life. Intend that punch. I mean it.
23:40
I was being a brat at that time.
23:43
And so I was like really feeling that and I sent her that note and she was like, "Oh my god, we have to use while you're sitting in your dad's basement."
23:50
And then there was a bunch of other lyrics in there that inspired, you know, what ended up being the final version of it all.
23:55
But I uh I sent her that and she was like, "Yeah, we we're going to use all of this.
23:58
Like we need to use all of this in the song."
24:02
And I was like, "Oh my god."
24:02
Like, "Are you sure you don't want to like change it up or or make this better?
24:05
like you're amazing and I trust you and and this is your song, you know, and I just want to aid your artistry and your vision on this. You felt seen. Yes, I felt very seen.
24:15
And then I had, you know, hummed out that hook melody, um, you just want to scream my name.
24:20
That little melody that we do for the the hook of the song.
24:23
I hummed that out in my car and I sent it to her and she was like, "Great.
24:27
This is this is the hook."
24:28
And I was like, "Oh my god."
24:28
I had never felt so seen and understood and also just trusted.
24:34
I think she trusted me so strongly with what I thought was cool for that.
24:39
Um, which really gave me confidence in my taste and I already knew I had good taste.
24:43
Like I I know that about myself.
24:44
I actually really pride myself on my taste.
24:46
I think I have pretty refined taste in my own way.
24:48
You know, see that's the thing in my experience of I've known Charlie for a long time.
24:53
But we can even just, you know, talk about other artists of Charlie's caliber, very different and unique, but of their within the same circle of brilliance. Taste is the key. Yeah.
25:03
And they are looking for people with taste.
25:04
Like some of the greatest artists of all time aren't technically the greatest singers.
25:09
Learn how have to learn how to be great performers. Have to figure it out.
25:13
But if their taste is there at the very beginning, the rest is just a matter of time. Exactly.
25:18
Because the taste will lead the way in all things creative. It's so true.
25:20
And I also think too, you know, such a a huge part of my taste has always almost been the lack of knowledge in a way.
25:29
I think when I would go into sessions really early on and you know even now I think with Luca and Alvivera they're incredibly talented and trained and musical and you know I don't really play any instruments.
25:43
I can play a few chords and I can get on the you know keyboard and play around and inspire sounds or inspire chords but I I'm not one to just sit at the the keyboard and kind of play a song like that.
25:53
Um but with them almost my lack of knowledge of where things should go or where they technically you know I guess in the certain formulaic way where they should go or where it should sound.
26:06
I think they appreciate my lack of knowledge in that and that different instinct. Yeah.
26:12
You know, I there's this quote and it's taste is the enemy of art.
26:13
And I think that is so beautiful in a lot of ways because I think taste can be can be messy.
26:20
And that is kind of what what that quote is is emphasizing is that taste doesn't have to be, oh, I have the best taste cuz I'm I'm award-winning this and that and and it's refined.
26:29
It's like it doesn't need to be refined in a in a typical way.
26:33
It's it's like your interpretation of of what is great.
26:35
And then that can be messy and also misunderstood and it can be, you know, but you're describing yourself perfectly.
26:43
You know that it can be messy and misunderstood and tasteful and all the things that you just don't seem to be afraid to be.
26:48
And you know, I think people have gotten used to this idea of the pop star coming out and it's all sort of buttoned up.
26:53
There's a ribbon on it and all you got to do is just take it off the shelf. It's ready, man. It's ready to go.
26:58
And I just think that um I think what's been really interesting for all of us certainly on the show and and people who are becoming fans of your music and the way you're moving is that um like I said at the beginning of the of our conversation, you know, you you seem to be totally okay with breaking things. Yeah, I appreciate that.
27:14
You know, which is funny because I actually feel like some people will feel like, oh, this is the most manufactured thing.
27:22
And it it's so silly because it's just obviously not.
27:24
I think it would be done in a much cleaner way if it was that manufactured.
27:28
You know, I'm not sure anyone can look at any of the art you're creating and listen to any of the art you're creating and not feel like you're invested 100%.
27:37
Maybe they're not really listening to it.
27:38
And that's the problem with Obsessed, right, is that people make a decision before they give it a chance, but you've already figured it out, right?
27:43
You're like, it'll take as long as it takes, right? Right.
27:44
At the end of the day, okay, let's talk about this album in more detail cuz I've heard it from top to bottom. It starts with New York. Mhm.
27:51
Easily the most written about city in the history of popular music.
27:53
No question about it, right?
27:57
But so it only made sense, you know. Of course.
27:58
No, no, but you have to, right?
28:00
You have to if if you're inspired by it, then you got to put your song on the playlist, the endless playlist, and and it will not be the last one written about it.
28:06
Um, you move to New York.
28:09
Is that too literal a question? Um, not yet.
28:10
This city has nothing for me anymore. Los Angeles. Yeah. You're done with it? I'm done. You'll be back.
28:16
I'll be back cuz I love the beach and I love the weather here.
28:20
But I don't know, New York, I think I'm at this place in my life where I'm feeling over routine and over the expected and what's happening.
28:29
And I think here I had such a routine created over the past 5 years that I'm like, I need to break that and I need to feel like a new experience is around the corner.
28:38
And you don't really feel like that here because you have to plan everything out because it drives, you know, it's like there's no spontaneity within living in LA.
28:44
It's very planned and meticulous and your day is pretty much based around one thing, you know, like me coming here.
28:50
It's like, you know, it's it's out of the way.
28:52
So, it's like this whole this whole day is now around this, which I'm grateful for.
28:58
But, you know what I mean?
28:58
Like in New York, we could just walk around the corner kind of way about school. No, it's true.
29:03
It's all right out in your front doorstep.
29:04
And it's also very good for anxious people.
29:05
What I always loved about living in London and living in New York was it it it was a sponge for anxiety because once you're out there, you're sort of in the moment. You can't really sit.
29:12
you just can't be stuck in your own head as much as you can in other cities like Los Angeles where I feel you can really get lost in your own head.
29:20
So, how do you sort of manage your mental health, especially in the kind of jobs that you're in now where there's an enormous amount of attention?
29:25
Um, do you acknowledge that it's taken its toll or do you have more of a balanced? Are you able to balance?
29:30
No, I acknowledge the toll it's taken for sure. How do you manage it?
29:34
I mean, I think it's a learning a learning process every day.
29:36
I think I'm trying to figure it out more and more.
29:40
Um, I think for me an ounce of stability is always helpful.
29:45
I think having some sort of place to call home or, you know, friends that you really trust and rely on.
29:52
That's been such a big part of it for me.
29:54
Um, luckily, everybody that I get to create with are my best friends.
29:59
And so, I'm I'm really thankful for that sense of stability and understanding.
30:03
I love that you put it through people and not just a place because it's not really a job for places, right?
30:08
Like I don't know if you actually apart from home home.
30:10
Do you feel like you even have a home? No.
30:12
I think it is just where I am for the most part.
30:16
You know, I don't really say that there's a like when I'm like time to go home.
30:20
I'm like, well, time to go wherever my stuff is. Wherever. Exactly.
30:24
Wherever I have to go next. Yeah. Yeah. So, does that suit you? Yeah, it does.
30:28
Cuz I like that unpredictability and I like that exercise of growth.
30:30
And I moved a lot when I was a little kid, so I was kind of used to making new friends or making new environments or finding a new place to go every morning, you know.
30:39
But once I do get to a place, I do like to create a routine pretty quickly.
30:40
And I think that is is how I nurture myself.
30:45
How would your parents have described you when you were when you were a kid?
30:48
Oh my gosh, probably a diva. Loud. Yeah.
30:50
I always had a really loud voice.
30:53
I remember teachers telling me like, "Well, you're the only one that's going to get in trouble cuz your voice carries."
30:57
And I'd be like, "Why me?" I wasn't even talking.
30:59
Um but yeah, loud diva, probably really dedicated, hardworking.
31:06
Did you have a happy childhood looking back on it? Yeah, I did.
31:10
I I learned a lot about myself and about people from a really long young age.
31:16
And so I think that Where do you think that came from?
31:18
Just kind of because that requires powers of observation, which most kids aren't really afforded at that point.
31:23
They're just focused on whatever the job is.
31:24
But for you to step outside of your own activity, whether it's on a playground or in the living room or in your bedroom, whatever, to observe people, what inspired that?
31:32
Where did that come from? Do you know? I don't know. Maybe dance.
31:35
Maybe, you know, when I grew up and and was in the dance studio all the time, most times when we were dancing and I was doing competitive dance, so we'd have to like watch the older girls dance.
31:45
We'd have to wa we'd go in and watch their classes sometimes if we had free time.
31:48
And or in between our class, we went to, you know, a different teacher who had a set of the older girls.
31:54
And I think that maybe is where I I started shaping this this belief that by watching people, you just can learn so much more and you don't have to go through sometimes the pain of experiencing that for yourself.
32:05
Um, but I also do think I was experiencing so much when I was little.
32:08
I mean, you know, my family had lots of ups and downs in their relationships and and connections and, you know, like I said, I moved all the time and so I I really got to experience a lot of things firsthand.
32:22
And I think, you know, when you're experiencing experiencing things firsthand, you're still experiencing them very strongly, especially when you've seen like that kind of experience happen with your own eyes within of the most sacred places, which is your home.
32:34
I came from a divorce background and you know I just remember it felt like there was just a snap and after that I just felt like I was looking at everything and it took me a long time to really kind of develop what my version of a trusted relationship was after that because I felt like my security had been kind of compromised a little bit as a kid.
32:50
I don't know if that rings true for you, but yeah, you know, I always think it's interesting because with like kids of of divorced parents, I either feel like they're desperate to find like really great love to prove to themselves that it's possible or they just completely don't agree in it and like don't believe in it, think it's nothing, you know, they're like it's never going to exist ever again.
33:07
Like it's not real in life.
33:09
But um I'm definitely the the one that's like oh true love exists.
33:13
Like I'm such a big believer in like true love and finding that.
33:15
And I think my parents' challenges in their own relationships really taught me how important it is to to really vet people that you're going to get into a relationship with and really understand their intentions and your intentions and do they line up and just being really open and honest about it.
33:31
I think that is one thing that I I noticed in my parents' relationship.
33:36
There wasn't a lot of communication when it came to problems or issues or alignment.
33:40
And I think that is the killer. Yeah, that's the killer. Yeah. Yeah. Because that's the work. Mhm. Right.
33:47
Well, and it's like, you know, I just my therapist and I have been having great conversations about like directness and what that means for a relationship.
33:54
And I've been literally burning this to the ground cuz I'm just like, this means everything.
33:58
Like, everyone needs to hear this.
33:58
You think compromise in a in a relationship or even in work, you think compromise means disregarding what you want and giving somebody else what you think they want.
34:10
And most times you don't even know what they want.
34:11
You just probably would like me to act this way or put this song out and you give that to them completely, you know, disregarding what you want.
34:20
And most times you fall short because you don't even you weren't even clear on what they wanted and you got nothing that you wanted. And guess what?
34:27
At the end of that experience, you see, you sw the seeds of resentment. Totally. Totally.
34:32
And that is a killer of the relationship really is the resentment. Yeah.
34:34
And then you trace it back and you're like, man, I resent you so much.
34:37
But if I trace it all the way back, it's because I wasn't actually honoring my own. Yes. I wasn't open. I wasn't honest. I wasn't direct.
34:43
And directness is closeness, you know.
34:45
So, you're a direct human being or learning to be a direct human being in your life.
34:49
Um, and putting it through your music.
34:50
Um, let's talk a little bit about getting this album completed.
34:52
Um, we had a funny conversation.
34:55
You know, Renee Rat, we had a funny conversation. She's amazing.
34:58
And she was like, uh, yeah, people were telling me to finish my album.
35:01
And, I was like, I'm going to take two more years just cuz you said that.
35:04
And so I I just I I wanted to sort of use that as an example of like what it takes to hold the line and and how much you've had to even with the best of intentions keep your team in a place of of trust me.
35:16
Like trust me, I know what this needs to be.
35:19
Is that a reality for you?
35:22
Yeah, I think it's actually anyone from the label that would be watching this is gonna feel like, damn, that is the most true thing ever because I wouldn't send them anything for the longest time until I had at least five songs from the album.
35:35
And I was like, then you can hear where I'm going with the album and this is where where I'm taking it. Yeah. Right. Right. Right.
35:41
And um and that was really essential for me because I think otherwise I would have felt insecure you know and I think sometimes people give notes for the sake of giving notes and feeling involved.
35:51
And I think most times most times most times it's like I get it you want to be a part of this but you are a part of this by by listening and and letting me express myself in this very honest and vulnerable way.
36:01
And so um yeah I didn't play them any music until I had about five songs to play them and I was like this is what the album is going to be like. And so here it is.
36:10
And what was the reaction? Did it surprise you?
36:11
You know, when I had first been like, "Diet Pepsi is the one."
36:15
Like, "Did I played all the songs and I was like, "Diet Pepsi to me is the first song."
36:17
There were people that were like, "Oh man, we think you should keep working.
36:21
We don't know if Diet Pepsi is the one.
36:23
People aren't going to get it.
36:24
It's not what people are expecting from you." Fair enough.
36:26
And I was like, "Okay, well, it's the first one.
36:28
Like, I just know it's the first one."
36:30
And I was like, "I already have the video idea.
36:33
Like, I want to shoot in black and white."
36:34
And they were like, "Black and white?"
36:36
Like, people also feel a way about black and white music videos.
36:40
Why did you want to shoot it in black and white?
36:41
Was it the Madonna effect?
36:43
No, I I think I just was like there's something that I've heating them for what they are and how strongly you had to communicate through a black and white video for people to take their time to watch it.
36:55
Especially these days, you know, nobody's watching black and white stuff cuz they're just like, "This is boring.
36:59
Can't even focus on what's going on without like some other type of, I don't know, stimulation overload." Exactly.
37:05
And so I was like, "That's challenging and I like that."
37:08
And I think this song deserves that that treatment of like I I get it.
37:11
You're gonna have to focus really hard on it, but I want you to have to focus really hard on it to get it, you know?
37:16
And so thankfully the director Sean um was like, "Yeah, let's go. Black and white. Amazing. I'm so down."
37:22
See, this is the kind of vibe that like um this this whole kind of like attention to detail and and and the willingness to challenge us to to get us to see outside of our own comfort zone is what attracts you as a creative to people like Araka and to people like Charlie.
37:36
And I I you know I saw what Rose said, Rosalia said in the article, which is lovely when people give a quick testimonial in a piece like that.
37:42
It's an important piece for you. It's a cover story.
37:44
It's like it's really powerful. Right.
37:45
Maybe it was the L one, whichever one it was. Yeah. It was so nice. It's really cool. Right.
37:50
And and so it it's got to come from that place of like um they recognize the challenger in you. Mhm. Right. Yeah.
37:55
And I also think too, you know, I mean, it's so sweet and kind whenever people will say those those things about me despite maybe knowing how people decide to view me in a way that's like, you know, oh, this isn't authentic enough or or she wasn't doing music for 10 years, so it doesn't mean as much to her, you know.
38:17
I think these people know how artistry works and how finding your voice works and how much time that takes.
38:23
And I think that's why I respect, you know, Rosalia so much.
38:27
That's why I respect Charlie so much.
38:29
That's why I respect Troy so much.
38:31
You know, these are all people that really started from a place of of excitement and and trial and error and and just non-stop building who they are. Yeah.
38:42
Troy is no is very similar in a way from the YouTube era and trying to figure out his voice. I know.
38:46
I was a big fan of Troy on YouTube, too.
38:48
I always think it's so funny, but it's so wild.
38:51
I mean, he's completely shaped his artistry in a way that that it you're like, this is the same person, but they've grown.
38:59
And I think that is what is so inspiring to me.
39:01
It's because I don't think I am now myself, you know?
39:05
And I think that's what people maybe get misunderstood about.
39:07
It's like I'm not saying, "All right, this is the real me now."
39:11
It's like, no, it's always been the real me.
39:12
And those experiences have completely guided and shaped me to where I am now.
39:16
And it's it is about arrival, you know?
39:18
It's arrival to who I feel like I've become and who I've I've experienced all these trials and ups and downs and and great high moments um to now land here in this this person that I am now.
39:32
And so it's not cuz that's the thing arrival is so temporary in itself.
39:37
We all think that like well we've arrived somewhere but right there's always a new destination.
39:40
Like where's the fun in that right? It's so true.
39:44
It's like there is no end and there to me there's no end in sight you know.
39:47
I think there is no final destination.
39:48
It's always arriving to a new place of of depth or internal understanding or discovery.
39:53
How exciting to to be able to um take a step back from from like we said that kind of very modern meta experience of kind of your identity being rising and falling according to how people feel on you on any given day, which is an impossibility.
40:08
I think I experienced such a high high when I started TikTok, you know, there was arguably that's the most visible I was, you know, and I think now I'm I'm I almost am like working against that version of myself because there was such a standard of of what was successful or what was viewed so much or what was, you know, seen.
40:24
And obviously, Diet Pepsi has totally surpassed what that ever meant to me in the first place.
40:30
But I think yeah, the the highs and lows are are part of it, you know.
40:35
And I think when you create something so strong and that connects with so many people, you should never expect that the next thing you do would also connect in that same way.
40:44
Or else where would the magic in that be?
40:47
There's no learning in that.
40:47
No, there's no there's only pressure and there's no discovery or there's no push.
40:51
It's just no, you become addicted to it. Right. Okay. So, what is the story?
40:55
What what is the story that you're telling now?
40:59
Now that you've kind of arrived at this place, you have a self-titled album where it's Addison 12 songs, interesting pop music, interesting themes and and interesting ideas.
41:07
Um, what is the story that you that you've begun now that you're going to tell for the rest of your life?
41:12
Who are you and what do you want to do?
41:13
I think the story for me is just go with life. Go with life.
41:19
Let the experiences happen.
41:25
Be a good person throughout the experiences.
41:27
Treat people the way you want to be treated. Let yourself play. Let yourself have fun. Let yourself mess up.
41:35
I think all these things have created what the album is.
41:37
You know, it's it's trial.
41:39
It's it's fearlessness within what feels good.
41:43
And I think that to me is what the story behind this whole project is, is just feeling things and going with them. Beautifully said. Beautifully said. Fame as a gun. Yeah.
41:57
We're going to focus on that because everyone's going to focus on that.
41:59
So, what inspired that song? Oh my gosh.
42:01
I We That's the only song on the album other than um the interlude, Life's No Fun, that was done in New York. And so, I don't know.
42:10
So, New York wasn't done in New York. No.
42:12
Well, but that makes sense, right?
42:13
Because then I obviously had a great experience in New York and I came home and you've got an arts prepared for that one. Okay, good. Yeah.
42:20
I mean, that's also so funny to me to think, too, cuz I'm like, of course, it wasn't written in New York.
42:24
Anyways, um but the concept started there, you know, I went to You had left your luggage at the bow at some point.
42:30
You were just reminding yourself back to that moment. Yeah, exactly.
42:33
Um it's like the fantasy of it all, you know, and so um yeah, with Fame is a Gun that was the only song we did in New York other than Life's No Fun, which is just an interlude.
42:42
And um yeah, for Fame, there was a lot of like weird intensity in that moment.
42:49
We were working at Jungle City and um Ariana was working there around that time, too.
42:54
for the deluxe that she had put out.
42:56
She had came down and said hey to us and like was so sweet.
43:00
She's such a sweet person and um she she came and and chatted with us and we were really struggling at that point to to keep writing.
43:06
So for fame yeah we were like we need something uptempo and sexy and and a little dark you know and and this progressively got darker as we went on.
43:16
We had written some weird other version of the hook like lyrically and it was like I was essentially like yeah you know I'm gonna give the label what they want which is like a just a straight pop song.
43:28
Like that was the structure idea was like I'm just going to give them what they want.
43:31
And so we wrote lyrics that were like really wild and just like you know is this what you want?
43:37
Just like this kind of pop song and it was so cheesy and so corny now that I look back on it cuz we were just so annoyed.
43:42
But then we were like Joe Gell is this what you want? Is it?
43:44
Well, Joe would never make me do that.
43:47
I know Joe's the biz, but just like he is the best, right?
43:50
But totally just calling people out by names.
43:51
Um, there are demos that exist like that, too. And it is really funny. It's so good. Yeah.
43:55
And then we started talking about fame and and we had written some other demo before that that we never finish, but it was essentially about, you know, the trials and the tribulations that fame, you know, give to you and present to you.
44:08
And then we landed on I think I don't even remember how we landed on that that final lyric of fame is the gun.
44:15
But I was also really loving um the song Glamorous Life by Sheila E.
44:22
I love that song and I love Prince.
44:22
Um but I loved that that concept of like yeah I do want the glamorous life and that that is what we all strive for is this beautiful life of glitz, glamour and beauty and and and you know fame is almost the price that you pay for that life and and I was like you know trying to dive deeper into this concept of like fame is you know fame is a gun and it's really dangerous and you don't really know what you're doing with it when you experience it.
44:48
So you are pointing it blind and you're unsure of what is going to be destroyed by it when you're experiencing it for the first time. Yeah.
44:55
And it's just really reckless.
44:55
And so we really dove into this concept of, you know, this almost back and forth between the innocent side of of all of it and trying to understand wanting of it, the getting of it, right?
45:07
So, okay, you've experienced fame at a very high level. Mhm.
45:12
You've written a song that really cleverly kind of sums up ultimately through metaphor what that experience has been like for you.
45:21
Do you do you still want it? Yeah, I do. I do still want it.
45:24
I think which parts I think the parts of of this life that I really appreciate are the challenges and the the pressure in a lot of ways. I like the pressure.
45:40
I like the the forceful choices and understanding of the way people work.
45:46
And I don't know, it feels like a a lot of psychology.
45:48
Honestly, I feel like I've gotten to understand the way that things can tempt and persuade people's minds and and the way that they treat people based off of it. Yeah.
45:58
How do you stay a people person, which you clearly are, when you've seen a side of humanity, a side of us as a species that is irrational and is explosive and doesn't make sense?
46:09
I think it gives me a lot of compassion.
46:10
I think it gives me a lot of compassion because I also, you know, lived a completely different life up until I was 19 years old.
46:18
I was living in Louisiana, living with my parents.
46:22
I was, you know, trying to figure out what to do with my life and feeling pretty miserable, honestly, most for the most of that part because I felt like I had to sacrifice my passion and love for entertainment and and or even creation at that time.
46:33
You know, I I felt like I was almost, you know, I was told a lot in my life when I was in high school like, h, you know, you just got to give up on these dreams eventually.
46:43
You got to do something normal, like be a nurse or something, you know, let's be realistic here and just make get a good job that pays, you know, for capitalism. Exactly.
46:50
And I was just like, is this what you have to do?
46:52
Is you have to give up on like the sides of yourself that have such a deep desire and passion for for art?
46:58
Like, is that is that worth doing?
47:01
And so then when I moved here and I realized, you know, everything is just everything is much more possible than I think I was initially thinking. Small. It can be small.
47:09
You do the work and you get lucky. Yeah, it's very true.
47:11
And I did get really lucky.
47:13
Honestly, I think timing is everything because the way that the Tik Tok of it all happened just couldn't have happened in any better way for me.
47:20
But you had to have the courage to execute, right?
47:22
You'll never ever be the benefit of good timing if you don't time it. It's so true. No, it's so true.
47:27
You definitely have to have an eye for the timing of it all and and have a good intuitive reaction to it.
47:31
You know, speaking of reaction, you know, and you've touched a little bit on this in in conversation recently, and I just wanted to kind of go there for a minute with your blessing, is that like that the toxic the toxic side of fame, the the very sticky addictive side of fame.
47:46
It can be very alluring to not just the people who are experiencing it firsthand, but the people who are around the person experiencing it firsthand.
47:54
Yeah, I was actually thought it was a really interesting observation you made in a couple of conversations recently about how your your parents and people around you have scaled back their involvement in that side of things and I thought that showed self-awareness of like okay maybe we all just got really swept up in that. Is that how it was?
48:10
Yeah, I think it became really overwhelming really fast and and it is so true.
48:14
You know, there are sacrifices that are made in order to pursue big dreams.
48:19
Whether that's financially, whether that's, you know, in family life, emotionally, in friends, these are things that, you know, relationships. Yeah.
48:29
They're all really tortured sometimes by this this whole idea and experience of of fame and I guess just um acknowledgement and and eyes on everything.
48:40
And I don't know, I think I am really thankful that my family, you know, went through what they went through and the experiences that had to be had to know themselves better.
48:50
So, it's been it's been strengthening in some ways. I think so.
48:55
I think I think that's the only way I can look at it really.
48:58
I think yes, it's been challenging.
49:00
Yes, there have been things that have been broken and probably will never return to their normal shape again.
49:06
But I think that that is revealing and exposing exactly the way that it needed to be.
49:11
You know, I think that you need to let people make the decisions they want to make in order to show you who they are.
49:18
And so I think there's nothing wrong with that.
49:21
I think that was what needed to happen in order for me to know a lot of things about myself and about the people around me and about trust and about understanding and about delivery towards things and and protection.
49:33
You know, it taught me all those things.
49:35
And so I would never take anything back.
49:36
I think it it allowed me to be compassionate and protected at the same time.
49:42
So what are you not going to do in order to maintain those that balance?
49:49
Like what's off the table just today cuz life is a long time and a short time and a short ride. Long time short ride.
49:57
Hey, we want to do a reality show because you're doing this thing.
50:00
We want to bring cameras into your life and we want to follow you around and do this thing.
50:02
Is that like you know what?
50:04
I don't know if that's on the table anymore because that's where's where does the intrusion begin and end now? Totally.
50:09
You know, I actually don't mind people experiencing experiencing me in a very honest and open way and really any space as long as it is right here.
50:19
Like I will allow anyone in my space.
50:22
I I actually don't even mind a camera when I know that the moments are intimate for the people that are experiencing it, you know?
50:28
But I think when you start allowing people to see this footage or to see you in those spaces with zero, you have zero, there's not enough to communicate really.
50:41
You know, it's still very one-dimensional.
50:42
I think when you watch a video of some experience and so to me, I definitely am a little bit more hesitant of that because I think people can so quickly turn things into a way that they weren't even if they add dimension to it. Yes.
50:56
And so I am protective of that.
50:58
Even for my past few music videos, we've had somebody filming the entirety of the the day and you know getting the good moments, the bad moments, the the diva moments, the silly moments, whatever it may be.
51:10
And I think I was watching all the footage back actually last night and I was like, "Yeah, I don't know if I want to share this because I think it is intimate and it is personal and it's in a way that I don't want to allow somebody else to spin it into something that it's not because I know what it is and the people that are there know what it is cuz that'll affect your compassion." Yeah, I think so.
51:30
And it it it shows me I don't want to invite an evil perspective of anything or a or a damaging perspective to things.
51:39
And I think sometimes people will do that not even for any real reason other than the fact that, you know, they're jealous or because they're like, "No, you look really happy in that.
51:47
There's something deeper. There's something more.
51:49
We got to put our somewhere." Right.
51:50
And I understand that, by the way, but I'm not going to give you my stuff to do that in. You know what I mean?
51:56
Or at least at least not knowingly. Yes. Right.
51:57
Because because the comments are going to be the comments one way or the other.
52:01
But if you stand by the art, if you stand by the decision, then everyone has a right to say what they want.
52:06
But if you go into it with your eyes open and be like, "Ah, this is going to really start some shit."
52:11
And then you're surprised by the reaction. Yeah.
52:13
Your therapy needs to like you need to do some serious totally up it to two sessions a week, right? I know.
52:20
I haven't made it there yet. Wow.
52:22
24 years old from Louisiana.
52:22
What a life you've lived so far. Incredible. Um, thank you.
52:26
Very generous with your fans in terms of uh your availability and uh you clearly clearly are getting to know yourself really well. Mhm.
52:32
Like that's a little too well.
52:35
I don't know what that means.
52:37
I don't know what that means, but it sounded funny.
52:39
But uh No, but it's it's like, you know, you obviously really understand you're developing your boundaries and and and you can hear it in the music.
52:46
You can I mean, times like these knows itself. I love that one, too.
52:50
I think that one that one might be my favorite after high fashion. Yeah. It's a different vibe.
52:57
It is a completely different vibe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
52:59
Um, your first show was at the Boiler Room with Charlie XEX standing on a desk probably having a rave of a lifetime. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Pure Brad energy.
53:08
Charlie, like only Charlie can do it.
53:09
Um, where do you go now as a performer, as a natural performer who has your own art to perform with and to sing and to do, which is like the dream.
53:20
So, I can imagine that you're just in like the most creative headsp space right now thinking about that. Yeah.
53:24
I mean, I think, you know, because where we're at in this very space right now and the album is not out yet.
53:30
I'm still very It is finished, though.
53:33
I can I can absolutely tell everyone when it's finished. Yes, it's done.
53:36
And um yeah, I think I'm in the space right now where I'm just really anticipating it coming out and I'm like trying to, you know, hit all the stops and and even like with posting and feeling like, okay, well, I really want to make sure I give this the the the credit and the the energy that it deserves.
53:52
And I think sometimes I shy away from that because I'll be like, well, I don't know.
53:55
I'm already putting this out.
53:57
Like, is it going to be too much if I'm just like, all right, everybody, you know, the album's this many days away like every every two days.
54:03
And I sometimes I'll get on to myself about that and I'll be like, no, it deserves that.
54:07
it deserves that. It's a super interesting observation because what what my base take on that knowing a lot well okay yeah I can say the speaking the language of the artist for a long long time um is that it's it's feels it's it's a different feeling to anything else you've gotten in front of and promoted before right it's a
54:24
different it comes from a deep a deeper place like do I do that to this right right because I'm like it's so intimate and so precious that like I don't want it to feel you know gim mimicky in that kind of way sometimes, which it can feel like when you're, you know, used to getting paid to promote this or whatever. And
54:43
And even whenever I first started TikTok, like that kind of feeling of that.
54:46
But no, I think this this project to me deserves that energy from me and it deserves that um aggressiveness towards getting people to open up and listen to it because then, you know, why else?
55:00
Obviously, I made it for myself and I made it for my friends and the people that around me create with me to it.
55:03
But I also think, you know, we want people to hear music.
55:09
That's why we That's why we're here.
55:11
That's why you and I are talking. Exactly.
55:12
Like I want people to listen to this.
55:14
I put so much time into this.
55:15
I put so much of myself into this.
55:17
So it deserves that type of energy, you know? I do.
55:19
I I'm I will for ever as long as I can continue to create a space for artists to to tell stories about their music to deepen the experience, especially as we enter into a time where efficiency seems to be crawling back into the artistic conversation where it's like, hey, just do it really fast and don't have to practice or learn how to do anything. We just just do it.
55:37
Just press a button and just do it.
55:38
It's like, where's the fun in that? Totally. Totally.
55:41
Especially because it felt there was a period where it felt really artificial to be like I remember a lot of artists who would be like my my label's making me post a TikTok and I'd be like why don't why does it feel like that?
55:52
Like why does it feel like you're being forced to promote this?
55:53
Well, you're actually a perfect case study is my god our time has come to an end. It went by fast. Wow. It's been 5 minutes. It feels like it for me.
56:00
Um, you're a classic case study for of the modern age in a way because if people only if true musicians and artists only cared about putting something in front of people to get the most amount of attention and love for it, which is what you were doing through Tik Tok, right?
56:19
You were putting a lot of work into those things, but ultimately you were giving people what they wanted, right? Mhm.
56:25
If that was all that mattered, you'd have been on the precipice of AI technology on day one going just put my name on it. Totally.
56:33
It's just another version of what I've been doing.
56:35
But the fact you've taken years to find your people, a small group of people who work on interesting pop music to make an interesting pop album, that's hard work. Mhm.
56:48
What the are they farming like creative IP to make it easy for when the person who on paper should have wanted it easy wants to work for it? Totally. Does that make sense?
56:59
And so for that reason, it deserves every ounce of energy being put into opening up people's eyes and minds and ears to hear it, you know, because I think I've I've worked so hard on this album and I've Cuz you wanted to. Because I wanted to. Because I wanted to. [Music]