0:00
Oh, yeah. It's kicking in. Mhm.
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0:05
Oh, just as long as it gets no hotter than this, there shouldn't be any issues whatsoever.
0:17
Here what's going on, everybody?
0:17
For First We Feast, I'm Sean Evans, and you're watching Hot Ones.
0:20
It's the show with hot questions and even hotter wings.
0:23
And today, we're joined by the Ace Man, Adam Carolla.
0:24
He's a radio legend, TV host, filmmaker, and bestselling author.
0:28
You can catch him on the Guinness World Record holding podcast, The Adam Carolla Show, weekdays on Podcast One or Apple Podcast.
0:33
Ace Rockola, welcome to the show. Thanks, Sean. Thanks for having me.
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How are you with spicy food? I'm medium okay.
0:41
I brought my towel because if I start smelling hot food or eating hot food, I will start sweating profusely.
0:49
So, I'm I'm preemptively donning a towel, so I'm I'm prepared for that.
0:56
All right, Ace Rockola, you ready to get it on? Mhm.
1:11
Or they get drumettes from miniature chickens or chickens have not fully matured.
1:16
Yeah, we pulled these ones off pigeons. Mhm.
1:20
I thought I tasted some hobo on this one. Mhm.
1:24
Oh, it's notes of rat fecal matter.
1:33
So, it's no exaggeration when I say that I grew up on Loveline.
1:34
I listened to you and Dr.
1:36
Drew almost every night from seventh grade while I'm in the college and to date.
1:39
The nerdiest thing I've ever done in my life is sent $200 and a hard drive across the country to send a super fan that I met on this website called the Loveline Companion convoded up with a decades worth of archived episodes. Giovanni? True story. I love that.
1:56
I um I'm always I'm so flattered that uh we infiltrated people's, you know, bedrooms and brains. Sometimes Dr.
2:04
Drew and I will talk to people and they'll be like, "Hey man, I was an avid fan. I never missed a show.
2:10
You got me through my childhood and without you I wouldn't be who I am today."
2:15
And then they pause and they go, "Is methadone really effective?
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And also I have an infection in one of my genital piercings.
2:25
I want to know if I got to go to a clinic or if I can just put iodine on it."
2:29
And I thought to myself, "How good a job did we do with this person?"
2:34
It's the generation that you guys raised there. Yes.
2:36
And then what do you think was the most ridiculous radio PSA that played during your tenure at KROQ?
2:43
The one that drove me the most nuts was airline turbulence safety.
2:48
And it was this commercial that would say, "Your body is made for all kinds of things."
2:53
And they'd say like rollerblading and they'd have a sound of a car screeching, brake screeching and they'd say like childbirth.
2:59
And they'd you know, oh one was football like they go football like your body's made for it.
3:06
Your body's made They give you Are we allowed to cuss? Yep.
3:09
THEY GIVE YOU A [ __ ] 13 examples of ways people die every year times 10 or thousand and then they go, "But your body wasn't made for airplane turbulence where no one dies from airplane turbulence."
3:22
Why did I need a PSA saying wear your seatbelt if I got on the plane and they mention it 13 times before we started taxiing?
3:32
That's what used to drive me nuts. I used to hear this.
3:34
I used to think about us taking our taxpayers money and sending it off to Pueblo, Colorado where the Ad Council makes this [ __ ] and it used to drive me insane.
3:46
And then I used to think of all the stuff we should have been spending our money on like [ __ ] turn right on a red when there's no cars coming.
3:51
It's legal once you stop. Like [ __ ] like that. Sorry. Who is this guy? I like this one.
4:03
So long before you're on TV and radio, I know that you worked in construction, digging ditches, swinging a hammer, and doing earthquake rehabilitation.
4:09
For the people out here that are watching, and maybe they want to renovate a kitchen or a bathroom, what are your red flags when it comes to hiring a contractor?
4:20
I had a guy give me an estimate on blown insulation.
4:24
Get your head out of the gutter, people.
4:29
I like when people do that.
4:30
Uh it's just blown cellulose insulation.
4:33
Like if if you have a wall and you have a house from the '20s or something and there's no insulation in the wall, we don't want to tear off all the lath and plaster, put in bats of R-13.
4:41
We would pop a hole at the top and pop a hole at the bottom and blow in what is like blown cellulose.
4:49
It's like busted up newspaper.
4:51
Anyway, the guy pulled up in a canary yellow yellow Hummer and like triple chrome 22-in rims on it, and it was all done up like a custom stereo, and I was like, "That dude's charging too much for blowing Get your blowing insulation, right?" Mhm.
5:12
But then on the other hand, if the guy pulls up and he's got like a VW Squareback and he's made his own rack and one of the windows is blown out, there's like plywood where where the wind wing was, that guy's a [ __ ] up and that guy's a loser and that guy's So to me, you look for the pickup truck.
5:30
Just think 4 to 7 years old, 70 to 95,000 mi on it.
5:40
You know, there's a sweet spot in there of about a uh $31,000 truck that's 4 and 1/2 years old.
5:47
That's who you're looking for.
5:54
It's good, but I can feel it kicking now. Yeah, it's getting real. It's getting real. Yeah.
6:01
These are first world problems here. You know what I mean?
6:03
Like my tongue is too hot because I've dumped too much habanero on it because I'm doing a interview show.
6:12
I think this is why the terrorists hate us. I can't blame them.
6:15
Cuz there's places like all over where it's like they'd die for a piece of this meat and we've turned it into some sort of a novelty act for the internet.
6:25
Never thought about it that way, but you're right.
6:26
It's important that you do before you go to bed every single night.
6:31
So at this point of viewers are probably not surprised to learn that you have some particular thoughts when it comes to food, whether it's coffee creamer or catering spreads where a third of the sandwiches are vegetarian.
6:39
It's like a minefield of triggers feeding Adam Carolla, but I want to dig into a few takes in particular. Please.
6:48
In the great gastropubification of America, all these fancy versions of deviled eggs are popping up on menus all over the Oh my god, somebody tweeted me one the other day. I I got violent.
6:59
What are your thoughts on gussied up comfort food?
7:04
All right, my take on on everything is if you are going to do your own [ __ ] up version of it, you need to give this dude a heads-up before you bring it to my table.
7:18
Like I can't It all started many years ago. I was in Vegas. I was at the Hard Rock.
7:26
I ordered the best drunken hungover food ever, which is huevos rancheros. It's like it's greasy. It's got eggs. It's got cheese. It's the plate's hot.
7:34
It's a big gooey mess, you know.
7:36
You get the tortillas on the side and you start mopping it up and sopping it up and like doing your own thing.
7:43
Probably take something on the scale here and give it a couple shots.
7:46
And they brought me a god damn breakfast burrito.
7:49
And it was like scrambled eggs in a flour tortilla and it was like all wrapped up and I was like, "Whoa, I ordered huevos rancheros."
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And they went, "That's how we do huevos rancheros."
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And I was like, "Fuck you.
8:02
You can't do that to people."
8:04
You know what I like to do with all those [ __ ] They'd go, "Oh, it's $22."
8:07
And then I just leave them $4 and they go, "Well, what?" I go, "That's my $20." That's That's my take. See, I have my own take.
8:17
I just leave a quarter, but that's my $20. I like that. Hold on. Where's my camera?
8:32
Oh, it's Oh, okay, on this side. Okay, this side.
8:34
The god damn passion fruit iced tea.
8:38
That's where That's where it all started, the passion fruit iced tea. Cuz you love iced tea.
8:43
Who doesn't love iced tea?
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And you know anyone who you've ever went like, "Oh, I'm going to have a hit of this brewed iced tea with the lemon wedge in it and had them go, 'I wish it tasted a little more like a scented candle.'
8:59
I'd really like it to taste a little more like someone took potpourri, put it in a gym sock and just dipped it in warm water.
9:05
So, uh I'm sitting at Marie Callender's up on Wilshire, but they just call it Callender's there cuz it's like, "How do we charge $4 more for a hamburger?
9:15
Get rid of that [ __ ] Marie's name.
9:17
Let's call it Callender's." And we'll do that.
9:19
And we're sitting there and I said, "Could I have an iced tea?"
9:25
And they went, "Yeah, we have iced tea."
9:27
And then I said, "But it's not passion fruit iced tea, right?"
9:31
And she said, "It is passion fruit iced tea."
9:33
And I said, "I just want regular iced tea."
9:34
And they said, "Most of our customers prefer the passion fruit."
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in this sing-songy, condescending tone.
9:41
And at that moment, like an angel dropped this patron down from heaven, the woman sitting at the table here went like, "Oh, is it passion fruit iced tea?
9:53
Then cancel my iced tea."
9:56
AND I WAS LIKE, "ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER."
10:00
AND I was like, I made sweet love to that woman. That night.
10:03
I mean, not not in the night, on the table. We're heating up. We are heating up, Adam. But it's still good. Mhm.
10:15
Not out of your comfort zone yet. No. Not quite yet. Not yet.
10:19
All right, Adam, we have a recurring segment on our show called Explain That Gram, where we do a deep dive in our guest's Instagram, pull interesting pictures that need more context.
10:24
You do not have an IG, which kind of throws a wrench into our system, but we've developed a workaround.
10:29
We've pulled some classic Adam Carolla throwbacks.
10:33
So, I'll just show you the picture, and then you tell me the bigger story. Does that sound good?
10:37
Yeah, where's my monitor?
10:38
All right, laptop, please. Oh.
10:43
We do it off the laptop here, Adam. Okay. All right.
10:49
First things first, what do you remember about the Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson?
10:56
I remember Courtney Love threatening to throw a winger, I think they used to call it.
11:02
She was like up there like, And but it was kind of weird cuz the audience was kind OF LIKE, "NO, I'M EATING."
11:12
AND I THOUGHT, it's kind of a weird realization for, you know, the "Hey, I'm going to pull my top up."
11:18
and there's 80 guys with beers yelling like, "Go, go, go."
11:23
And now there's like middle-aged guys who are eating and they're like, "NO! LIKE, NO!"
11:26
AND SO, I REMEMBER she Courtney kind of kept doing that.
11:32
Which was a more memorable experience for you, Adam?
11:34
Throwing out the first pitch at Wrigley Field or this fight with Jimmy at the Celebrity All-Star game?
11:40
Uh we played a whole bunch over the years.
11:42
We don't do it anymore because he's too big a star and I'm not a big enough star.
11:46
The celebrity softball games are like here, you know, and he's transcended them and I've kind of dipped below them.
11:55
We were playing in Chicago.
11:55
Our pitcher was like Tristan from The Bachelor or something, season four, you know, like this little miniature blonde.
12:06
And I said, "If If If she throws one to Dave Winfield, who's like the greatest athlete to ever play Major League Baseball, had like a basketball scholarship, football scholarship.
12:15
Dave, Google Where's my camera? Google his ass.
12:20
Dave Winfield was like 6'6" and built like Karl Malone.
12:26
To Jimmy, I said, "If this guy hits a comebacker to Tristan, he'll kill her.
12:30
He'll kill her with this softball."
12:30
And Jimmy said, "These guys, the pros, they're not trying.
12:35
They're like taking half swings."
12:37
And I said, "I don't think so cuz I think you have that jock mentality and there's 30,000 people there and once the ball gets served up, like Dave Winfield doesn't check and he's with his 50% probably knocks her teeth out at least. Oh, easily. Easily. Yeah.
12:53
She ain't modeling no more.
12:56
I like when people say stuff like that.
12:58
So, I was just standing out in left field and Dave Winfield comes up and he hit the ball so goddamn far over my head that it like went not only over the softball fence we'd set up, but the regular fence that was another 150 ft behind it, like into the night air.
13:13
Just Just I could hear it whistle as it went past.
13:17
Like I I did that move as an outfielder where I didn't even move because it was so far gone.
13:21
It wasn't even I wasn't going to dignify it with a turn and jog or anything, so that's my Jimmy Dave Winfield story. Oh, yeah. It's kicking in. Mhm.
13:41
Oh, just as long as it gets no hotter than this, there shouldn't be any issues whatsoever.
13:48
So, recently the power dynamics in media seem to be shifting away from these traditional gatekeepers to talent who are taking control of their own platform.
13:55
Like in recent weeks, Drake made so many headlines on an interview that he did with LeBron James in a barber shop, and there are countless examples of comedians interviewing each other rather than talking to the press.
14:08
I understand my white privilege, but I wish there was a barber shop for us, you know?
14:13
Not that I'm putting this on camera, but you know, I've seen that show on HBO.
14:16
They're having such a great time, and I go into Sports Clips, and the [ __ ] is like, "Do we have your name on file?"
14:23
And I'm like, "Come on, it's me."
14:25
And she's like, "We got to get your name."
14:27
And that show, everyone's laughing, and they got a glass of wine in their hand, and they're busting each other's chops in a respectful, but playful and meaningful way.
14:34
And I don't think they try to upsell you.
14:37
Like, Whitey's barber shop so he's like, "You want a shampoo and a trim and a neck?"
14:43
And I'm like, "Nah, I'm good."
14:43
"Do you want the triple, the grand slam, the home run, or the Babe Ruth?"
14:48
And I'm like, "Whatever's the [ __ ] cheapest.
14:52
I want the hit by a pitch." I know it's weird, too.
14:55
Whitey's barber shop, thousand plasma TVs, you know what I mean?
15:00
Like, anything not to establish eye contact or have any meaningful conversations.
15:06
Sorry, what were we talking about?
15:16
So, we've had a lot of comedians on the show, including the great Artie Lange, talk about how the climate of comedy has changed quite a bit since veterans like you came up. right? He can't. Right.
15:27
Almond milk and vegan wings for him. Right. He's a Tofurky. Yeah, exactly. Okay, right. Yeah.
15:34
And then these days, you know, one joke out of a 90-minute set can become a national headline or you have decades-old material that's reassessed under this new standard of political correctness. I like that.
15:46
With that in mind, I love it.
15:48
I love it when they're like, "Newly unearthed Man Show footage of Jimmy Kimmel asking women what's in his pants."
15:55
It's like, it's not newly unearthed, it aired.
16:00
It aired on Comedy Central in 2002. Multiple times.
16:04
It's not like Sean Hannity's like, "Unearthed."
16:06
And I was like, it's not unearthed.
16:08
It's on the internet and it's aired. Right. already. You know what I mean?
16:15
With that in mind, have you given any thought to whether or not a show like The Man Show could exist in 2018 and what kind of audience it would draw?
16:23
The fastest growing sport is like mixed martial arts, like cage fighting. Right.
16:28
Guys in their underwear with another guy on their back like dropping elbows on the guy's orbital socket.
16:35
And internet porn has exploded and watch your stepmom suck off her special needs tutors like the hottest category, you know?
16:45
So we're like panties in a bunch, crazy, over-the-top, apologizing for quotes that Winston Churchill made, and then weird, bizarre, [ __ ] cage fight festival over here.
17:03
This notion of comedians have to watch what they say.
17:06
The essence of being a comedian is not watching what you say.
17:13
I I don't I don't get why we would even want them to do that.
17:18
But I'm just a saying atheist.
17:24
We've We've kicked it up a notch. Yeah, we get it. It's It's hot sauce. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
17:30
It's getting real over here. It is.
17:34
So Adam, I know that you're a connoisseur of the good bad movie genre, the '80s era movies that are so over the top, so corny that they're actually kind of good.
17:42
So what I want to do is bounce some titles off of you.
17:45
I'm just curious about your thoughts. All right.
17:48
Why do you think Sylvester Stallone's Cobra is a must-watch movie?
17:56
Well, everyone knows, you know, Rambo and everyone knows Rocky and everyone knows even over the top, but they sleep on Cobra.
18:09
Cobra is Stallone at his Stallone-iest, you know?
18:14
It's an insane My glasses are starting to fog up now. Careful on the eyes.
18:18
The whole thing's an insane premise. He's a cop.
18:20
I hope you're sitting down.
18:23
He plays by his own rules.
18:27
It has everything you need in a movie and no one's ever seen it.
18:31
And it makes no sense at all and for that reason, you got to watch Cobra.
18:35
Point Break or Road House?
18:39
Point Break is actually kind of a goodish movie. Um So Road House.
18:47
You got to watch Road House. Road House is great.
18:49
I love any movie where any movie where somebody said they were retired, but they got to pull them out of retirement cuz they're the best.
18:57
I love where people know who you are even though we'd have no idea who you were.
19:08
Like Swayze, they know he's the best cooler in the business.
19:11
Yeah, his reputation precedes him. Right.
19:13
Swayze was the best the best in the business. They knew who he was.
19:15
They brought him in to clean up the Double Deuce.
19:19
I don't want to spoil it, but it's it's a great film.
19:22
As a gear head, what are your thoughts on the Fast and Furious franchise?
19:26
I love the Fast and Furious franchise.
19:29
It's funny cuz Vin Diesel's character is very complex.
19:31
Vin Diesel's character has two modes.
19:35
Sitting around and talking about the importance of family and beating the [ __ ] out of everyone.
19:42
I know people who talk about the importance of family, but they don't simultaneously beat the [ __ ] out of everybody.
19:46
And then I know people who beat up people, but they rarely talk about family. He does both. Like simultaneously. In the in those movies. It's awesome.
20:05
Well, there's a witch with cobras coming out of her head who's screaming.
20:10
So, it can't be hot, right?
20:19
I don't think about all hot stuff is it?
20:22
The first couple of bites are really like, did someone give me a Mc Nugget?
20:25
And then it just like comes in fire. Yeah.
20:31
This is uh this is awesome.
20:35
So, now that your love for cars is more than just a hobby.
20:36
In 2012 you won the Long Beach Grand Prix Pro Celeb race and recently purchased a vintage Porsche that was once owned by Paul Newman for more than $4 million at auction. Yeah.
20:47
So, with that in mind, what I want to do is hit you with some of the most infamous car inspired rap lyrics in hip hop history.
20:53
I'm just curious how they hit the ear of Ace Corolla, okay?
20:55
This first one is from Kanye West off Diamonds from Sierra Leone.
21:02
What happened to that guy?
21:02
He used to pop up in the news all the time.
21:06
Is he like on sabbatical or something? Yeah, right.
21:09
I haven't heard from him in a while.
21:11
I got to talk to that guy's publicist cuz he's a good artist. He deserves to be heard.
21:16
If your stripper named Porsche and you get tips from many men, then your fat friend, her nickname is minivan. Uh-huh.
21:24
It's good, you know, Porsche. It could be a 914. It could be a 924. It could be a 944. It could be a 954. It could be a 935.
21:32
You know, there's a lot of different Porsches.
21:36
So, it'd be nice if he got specific with the model.
21:40
Do you think Porsche Boxster S would be a good name for a stripper? I get it.
21:44
It the the song would be 11 minutes long if you're getting too specific with things, but yeah.
21:50
car guy, it would help it out.
21:51
Yeah, for this guy, I like specifics.
21:54
This next one's from Notorious B. I. G. off Hypnotize.
21:57
Frank White pushed the six of the Lexus LX 4 and 1/2 bulletproof glass tints if I want some ass.
22:03
So, he was shot in a van at the Petersen Automotive Museum.
22:10
And he was shot in the car, but he was rapping about bulletproof glass before being shot in the car.
22:19
As uh Norm Macdonald would do, uh note to self, never rap about bulletproof glass. Last one.
22:28
White Js, white Porsche, white wrist, white horse, hi [ __ ] hi [ __ ] hi [ __ ] hi [ __ ] I'd like to just reincarnate like I'd like to just summon Buddy Holly up and he's like, "If you knew Peggy Sue, then you'd know why I feel blue about Peggy, my Peggy Sue."
22:58
I'd like to just bring him back and go, "Hey Buddy, future music. What do you think?
23:04
You're going to be so happy you died in that plane crash. This is the last dab.
23:11
We call it the last dab because it's traditional around here to put a little extra on the last wing.
23:17
You don't have to if you don't want to, but you're quick on the draw. Oh, well, come on. What am I going to do?
23:22
What's out of this stage of the game? Look at you.
23:25
Nice, healthy last dab there. Yeah.
23:32
So, what's this one called? The Last Dab. Oh, it is. Sorry. Okay.
23:37
I can't tell the difference between art and life here.
23:38
You know, I don't know if you're reading a bottle or speaking to me. Okay, Adam.
23:45
Here we are at the end of our spice journey and over the course of the Hot Ones Gauntlet, we've talked a lot about pet peeves, a lot about complaining, a lot about the things that bother us, but I want to flip the script and talk about something that you love. And that's crows. I love crows.
24:03
Can you tell me why you love those squawking birds so much?
24:06
Describe it to me in as much detail as possible. Okay.
24:12
I'm glad you asked me that question, Sean.
24:15
I feel like we're wasting crows.
24:15
The crows fly around the park, they pick up the cigarette butts, they drop them off in exchange for a corn nut or whatever treat.
24:25
They can easily be taught.
24:25
The crows communicate with one another, they like mourn their dead.
24:31
Uh if they use tools, like if the crow gets a nut and can't crack it with its beak, it'll leave it out in the road, wait for a car to run over it.
24:42
It's not a pod, it's not a group, it's a murder.
24:47
A murder of crows rains down upon your head. Beaks and talons.
24:52
What are you going to do? Hold your ground? We need attack crows.
24:55
We have canine units with dogs. It's night time.
25:02
I want to go to the 7-Eleven and get a granola bar.
25:07
I walk out of the 7-Eleven at night.
25:10
Some uh gangbanger jumps out and confronts me. Pulls a knife on me.
25:12
He's got the bandana down here. He's like, "Hey, Fato."
25:18
And I'm just laughing cuz I'm like 3 2 1, [ __ ] And the crows just come right down on their head.
25:23
Everyone thinks I'm insane. This shall happen. It's already happening.
25:27
I guarantee you we're already working.
25:29
A lot of good points there, Adam, and I can't fight with any of them.
25:32
And look at you, you legend.
25:34
Here with the sport coat on, 10 chicken wings up, 10 chicken wings down, and your glasses didn't even fog up that much.
25:43
And now there's nothing left to do but roll out the red carpet for you, my man.
25:46
This camera, this camera, and this camera.
25:48
Let the people know what you have going on in your life. Oh.
25:52
Well, um I corrected a botched circumcision from many years ago. Oh, in terms of plugs?
26:02
Oh, you can watch Adam Carolla Show.
26:02
You can see it at Podcast One or Apple pods, wherever you find your podcast. iTunes. Go to adamcarolla. com. Live shows everywhere.
26:13
Get a little swag, get a little merch.
26:14
By the way, if you're going to eat hot chicken wings, get a little uh Endless Rant IPA or lager washed down with that. Carolla drinks. Good job, Adam. Good job.
26:32
If you're a scientist and you have to study crows and you have to go out and get eggs from like a crow's nest and stuff, you literally must wear a mask of, you know, a Halloween mask, a Richard Nixon, like whatever it is, because if you then at the end of your day of work, of studying crows, walk out to your car in the parking lot, the crows will attack you because they recognize you as a guy who's [ __ ] with their eggs.
27:00
So, that's how crows are built.
27:08
Hey, what's going on, spice lords?
27:08
I know you're wondering, why is he shaking that bottle?
27:11
Why is he shaking that bottle?
27:13
It's because I'm excited to announce that The Last Dab or Dux is available now.
27:17
The Last Dab with chocolate pepper x and pepper x.
27:19
You've seen your favorite celebrities dab wings on the show, and now you can dab your wings at home. heatness. com heatness. com to order.
27:27
Who appreciates you, spice lords? Me.